M O N T G U I D E

MT 200008 Human Resource Development

The Importance of Fathers

There was a time when many community-based programs in ing to Dr. James Levine, director
authorities discounted the role of father involvement. of The Fatherhood Project, four
fathers in families. They believed Concern about fatherhood is not elements distinguish this trend from
that fathers were merely a biologi- new. People worried about the any other time in American history:
cal necessity. As a result, research- absence of fathers in the 1880s Quantity. The number of chil-
ers primarily studied mothers and when men went in massive num- dren who are growing up or who
their children. bers from farm to factory. Similar will grow up without the continual
Recently, scientists have discov- concerns were voiced during the involvement of a father is unprec-
ered fathers. Researchers learned 1930s when the Great Depression edented. In earlier times, the major
that fathers were not “optional left millions of men unemployed, reason for single motherhood was
family baggage.” Studies show the dependent on bread lines. How- the death of the father. However, in
importance of a caring father in the ever, the current focus on the im- 1998, the greatest number of chil-
life of a child, boy or girl. portance of fatherhood is supported dren were growing up in father-
by research, especially over the absent homes because of unwed
Why Fathers? last three decades, that points out motherhood and divorce.
Much has been said recently the critical importance of a father’s Acceleration. This trend is ac-
about fathers and fatherhood, even involvement with his children. celerating, affecting an increasing
in the political arena. In his 1992 number of children. Between 1950
presidential nomination acceptance Trends in Father and 1998, the percentage of Ameri-
speech, then-governor Bill Clinton Involvement can children living in mother-only
gave a terse warning to fathers There are two major trends in families has climbed from 6 per-
who fail to meet their child support American fatherhood today: father cent to 23 percent.
obligations: “We will find you.” In absence and father involvement. Concentration. The lack of male
his book Standing Firm, former vice A large and increasing number presence in certain inner city neigh-
president Dan Quayle wrote, “A of children are being raised with- borhoods with high proportions of
society that promotes the idea that out the continued presence of a unwed mothers is unprecedented.
a father’s role is irrelevant breeds father. Fatherhood historian Robert Repetition. This pattern is likely
irresponsibility.” Vice President L. Griswold, notes that while the to be passed from one generation
Al Gore held a White House con- number of American families since to the next. In one study of fathers
ference to launch the nationwide 1970 has risen 20 percent, the who were behind on support pay-
“Father to Father” movement. Or- number of mother-only families ments, one half had grown up in
ganizations such as the National has increased by 51 percent. father-absent homes.
Fatherhood Initiative and The While there has been father Children face greater risks
Fatherhood Project have spurred absence throughout history, accord- growing up without a father in the

B-6
home. According to researchers “Prior to the late 18th and early 19th Early Development
Sara McLanahan and Gary Sande- centuries, fathers were intimately • Children form attachments to
fur, who have collected the most involved in the daily lives of their fathers as well as mothers from age
extensive and thorough data on children. Fathers taught their chil- 7-13 months. By 15 months, a
this topic, “Children who grow up dren how to work and worked along greater percentage of children would
in a household with only one bio- side of them, especially sons. Fa- respond with “Daddy” when shown
logical parent are worse off, on thers were also responsible for their father’s picture than would
average, than children who grow teaching their children spiritual val- respond to their mother’s picture.
up in a household with both of ues and to read and write, if they • During the first weeks in a
their biological parents, regardless were literate themselves.” baby’s life, when moms are usually
of the parents’ race or educational With industrialization and ur- at home, dads become the child’s
background, regardless of whether banization came the separation of “most significant other.” It is
the parents are married when the the work sphere from the family through the father that the baby
child is born, and regardless of residence for most families. Fa- first learns about comings and
whether the resident parent remar- thers typically left home to work in goings, transitions, separations and
ries.” Children reared in single- factories and were separated from non-mother nurturing.
parent families may suffer from their families not just for eight • Fathers are as capable as moth-
greater depression and emotional hours, but often for 14-16 hours. ers of caretaking, demonstrating
distress, may exhibit greater be- Fathers often worked in wretched competence, and being sensitive to a
havioral and learning difficulties in conditions. This work away from child’s needs. Fathers, like moth-
school, and may be forced to take home hindered their role in domes- ers, pick up on the meaning of an
on adult responsibilities at an early tic affairs. Fathers more often were infant’s cry and react appropriately.
age. In adulthood, children from “absentee managers” and became Fathers are actually better at keeping
single-parent families are more more emotionally distant. a baby’s attention. Caregiving differ-
likely to have lower educational More recently, a new kind of ences between mothers and fathers
and economic achievements, have father is emerging, resembling appear to be due to training and
an increased likelihood of forming more closely those of pre-indus- experience, rather than any innate
single parent families themselves, trial eras. This father still plays a qualities of mothers or fathers.
and may have difficulties forming major breadwinner role but is also • Children whose fathers were
lasting relationships with partners. more involved in domestic tasks actively involved with them during
Adolescents who live some time and caring for children. There is a the first eight weeks of life man-
of their childhood in a single-par- difference between this public aged stress better as school-agers.
ent household, which most often image and private reality, however. • Premature infants whose fa-
are mother-only families, are twice For example, recent data from thers spent more time playing with
as likely to drop out of school, dual-earner families suggest that them had better mental outcomes
twice as likely to have a child be- fathers only spend about 33 per- at age 3, whether their father re-
fore age 20 and one and a half cent as much time as mothers in sided in the same house or not.
times as likely to be idle—out of direct, one-on-one interaction with
school and out of work—in their their children and two-thirds as Play
late teens and early young adult much time being available for their • Fathers are often seen as play-
years. (These risk factors can be children. Nevertheless, this repre- mates. Play is a more prominent part
moderated when single-parent sents a trend toward increasing of father-child than mother-child
families have increased income, father involvement. relations. Fathers are more likely to
close ties with family, friends, and initiate rough and tumble play while
community, and when children Research on Father mothers play more traditional
have a positive relationship with Involvement children’s games like peek-a-boo
the non-resident parent as well as Father involvement makes a real and engage in more teaching.
the resident parent.) difference. Whether the outcome is • Children prefer Dad as a play
intellectual development, sex-role partner, but more often go to Mom
Fathers Throughout History development, or psychological in stressful situations.
From letters, literature and other development, most kids do better Modeling
accounts, a picture emerges about when their relationship with Dad is • Sons of nurturing fathers are
the role fathers have played through- close and warm, whether Dad lives more likely to model and internal-
out American history. In pre-indus- with them or not. ize their modes of thinking and
trial revolution times, fathers played Here are some findings about problem-solving.
a central role in the family. Re- the unique role fathers can play in • A close and warm relationship
searcher Alan Hawkins explains, a child’s life: with Dad fosters a daughter’s sense
of competence—especially in math Dad is actively involved with the connected. For more ideas on
skills, and a secure sense of femi- kids, Mom’s stress level goes strengthening your marriage, check
ninity. down, and both parents feel more out the MontGuide “Strengthening
• The economic support of the fulfilled. This has a positive impact Your Marriage” (MT 199718 HR).
family, more than half of it provided on the parents’ marriage and on the If your marriage went sour and
by the father’s income in the average children. you are now a divorced father, focus
two-parent family, contributes to on maintaining a civil relationship
the rearing and emotional health of Being a Great Dad with your ex-wife. Never bad-mouth
their children. Fathers play a major As a father myself, I think being a her in front of the children when
role in preparing children for life dad today is more complicated than they spend time with you. Main-
outside the family. Father’s level it used to be. Dads were once ex- tain a cooperative parenting partner-
of education and success on the job pected to “bring home the bacon” ship. See the MontGuide “Families
is linked with his child’s intellec- while Moms raised the children. Facing Divorce” (MT 199514 HR)
tual abilities. Fathers’ emotional Nowadays, the message is differ- for other co-parenting ideas.
support to others involved in direct ent. Dads should still be a major Prioritize fatherhood. Some
care (i.e. Mom) influences the breadwinner, but more is expected, dads worry that by emphasizing
well-being of children. regardless of whether or not Mom family so much they will lose their
works outside the home. He should edge at the workplace and not be as
Later Development
be willing to change diapers, dress competitive for positions as those
On average, when compared with
children, cook meals, clean house, who lack family ties or neglect
children of less involved fathers—
volunteer at school and help do all them. Research doesn’t support that
• Children of highly involved
those things that his wife used to fear. Plan your work around your
fathers show increased cognitive
be expected to do alone. There is a family. Decide that father-child time
competence, increased empathy,
clear message out there: Dad, you is not negotiable, but work time is.
enhanced school performance,
ought to be a more nurturing and With calendar or planner in hand,
greater motivation to succeed, en-
involved father and Mom, you need schedule first the activities of your
hanced social development and self-
to let Dad get involved. children, the school concerts, the
esteem, less sex-stereotyped beliefs,
What are some keys to effective one-on-one times, then write in
stronger sexual identity and charac-
fatherhood? Here are some ideas your work obligations.
ter, and more intrinsic motivation.
for dads taken from the research. Get involved with your child
• Children of highly involved
Nurture your marriage first. from the beginning. Remember,
fathers have fewer psychological
If you are a married father, an im- there is nothing you can’t do for a
and behavioral problems, are less
portant key to good father-child baby—except breast-feeding. And
likely to become delinquent, and
relationships is to have a strong even if your wife is breast-feeding,
are less likely to use drugs.
relationship with your wife. If you can still establish a role for
Personal and Family Benefits things aren’t going well there, it’s yourself: bathing, burping, com-
• Fathers, also, benefit person- easier for bad blood between you forting and taking the baby out for
ally from their involvement. Men’s and your spouse to spill over into a walk.
sense of personal happiness and the parent-child relationship. Learn the fatherhood craft.
satisfaction is more strongly linked Someone once said that the best Keep up with the language of child
to their family roles than their work gift a father could give his children rearing. Talk to other dads infor-
roles. Men who do not put “all was to love their mother. mally or in support groups or
their self-concept eggs in one bas- Sometimes in our drive to be parenting classes. Read articles
ket,” and who invest in children, involved fathers, we spend our and books about good fathering. A
have better overall health and lower limited free time with the children list of resources is found at the end
levels of psychological distress. but at the expense of time alone of this publication. In too many
Involved fathers tend to be more with our wives. To guard against families, the woman becomes the
giving and caring when they reach this, plan first the time you will “expert” and Dad feels excluded.
middle age. And, contrary to ex- spend with your wife. Try planning Don’t let that happen to you.
pectation, involved fathers can a weekly “date night” that involves Have regular one-on-one time
actually achieve high levels of job just you and your spouse—NO with each child. Sometimes it’s
success. For instance, in one four- KIDS or any others. Daily rituals fun to talk while you’re doing er-
decade study, involved fathers such as reading the mail together, rands or making home repairs, but
were more likely to have advanced sharing a magazine article, calling be sure that there are times that
in their occupations, when com- each other on the phone, or snug- you turn off the TV, put down the
pared with less involved dads. gling close during a favorite TV newspaper, and give your kids
• In two-parent families, when program are also great ways to stay your undivided attention.
 Schedule a daddy-daughter or where your children are and met Videos
daddy-son date occasionally. Go out their friends, you will have more to The Expectant Father (45 minutes)
to eat a favorite meal or to do an talk about and more interesting Helps answer questions and allevi-
activity the child enjoys. Sit with conversations. Parent involvement ate fears of first-time dads of any
them occasionally just before bed during children’s schooling is criti- age. Available for $14.95 (plus
and talk about how the day went. cal to their school success. Work shipping) from XENEJENEX,
Show affection often. Even if with your employer to see that Health Care Communications,
older kids seem squeamish, kids your work schedule doesn’t pre- Six Tower Office Park, Woburn,
enjoy a hug and encouraging words clude your involvement in your MA 01801 (781) 938-9922 Fax:
now and then from their dad. With child’s schooling. (781) 938-3644. URL:
the older kids you may want to do www.xenejenex.com
this in private, though, rather than Conclusion
in range of their friends. Yes, fathering is more than a For Dads Only (39 minutes)
Take kids to work. This is a biological necessity. Our children’s Teaches expectant and new dads
great way to teach them about the growth and development is en- the tricks of the childcare trade.
world of work that you are a part hanced through active, involved $24.98 (plus shipping) from
of. Take kids with you on business fathering. Below are some recom- Cabot Video (1-800-469-7977,
trips when possible. mended resources that can help URL: www.cabotvideo.com/
Stay connected when you have you and me be great fathers. fatherhood/). If you order by
to be away. Sometimes work takes phone, mention the source code
dads out of town. Set up a routine Recommended Resources number (77111) and have the
to stay connected. Some families for Fathers item number (1148) on hand.
schedule a specific time Dad will Books
call that is convenient for all mem- Levine, J. A., & Pittinsky, T. Check out these sites on the ‘Net:
bers of the family. When you re- (1997). Working Fathers: New
turn, bring home something special Strategies for Balancing Work National Center for Fathering
for the kids. It need not be extrava- and Family. New York: Addison- (http://www.fathers.com/)
gant. My younger children have Wesley.
been thrilled to receive wing pins National Fatherhood Initiative
from an airline. Shapiro, J. (1993). The Measure of
(http://www.fatherhood.org/) (To
Teach them. No dad has every a Man: Becoming the Father You
reach them by phone, call
gift or skill. Kids may learn certain Wish Your Father Had Been. New
1-800-790-DADS.
things from other males in their York: Delacorte.
lives. Use opportunities to share Sullivan, S. Adams (1992). The FatherWork (http://
your talents. In my family, I lack Father’s Almanac. New York: fatherwork.byu.edu/)
mechanical ability, but I have Doubleday. Loaded with activi-
passed on the gift of music through ties to do with kids. The Fatherhood Project (http://
providing piano and drum lessons www.fatherhoodproject.org/)
to my children. Brott, A. A., & Ash, J. (1995). The
Connect with your child at all Expectant Father: Facts, Tips
levels. Make sure you have some and Advice for Dads-To-Be. New
contact with every aspect of your York: Abbeville Press.
child’s life. Visit the school, meet
the teacher and kids and have at Find other Extension Publications on the web at
least fleeting contact with an after- http://www.montana.edu/wwwpb/pubs/pubs.html
school activity. If you have seen
Copyright © 2000 MSU Extension Service. We encourage the use of this document for non-profit educational purposes.
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The programs of the Montana State University
Extension Service are available to all people regard-
less of race, creed, color, sex, disability or national File under: Human Development
origin. Issued in furtherance of cooperative extension
work in agriculture and home economics, acts of May
B-6 (Family Life)
8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Issued June 2000 (5142000600 MS)
Department of Agriculture, David A. Bryant, Vice
Provost and Director, Extension Service, Montana
State University, Bozeman, Montana 59717.