PerDev Challenges of Middle and Late Childhood W4

MODULE 4: The Challenges of Middle and Late Adolescence
THE PASSAGE TO ADULTHOOD: CHALLENGES OF LATE ADOLESCENCE

Physical Development
• Most girls have completed the physical changes related to puberty by age 15.
• Boys are still maturing and gaining strength, muscle mass, and height and are completing the development of
sexual traits.
Emotional Development
• May stress over school and test scores.
• Is self-involved (may have high expectations and low self-concept).
• Seeks privacy and time alone.
• Is concerned about physical and sexual attractiveness.
• May complain that parents prevent him or her from doing things independently.
• Starts to want both physical and emotional intimacy in relationships.
• The experience of intimate partnerships
Social Development
• shifts in relationship with parents from dependency and subordination to one that reflects the adolescent’s
increasing maturity and responsibilities in the family and the community,
• Is more and more aware of social behaviors of friends.
• Seeks friends that share the same beliefs, values, and interests.
• Friends become more important.
• Starts to have more intellectual interests.
• Explores romantic and sexual behaviors with others.
• May be influenced by peers to try risky behaviors (alcohol, tobacco, sex).
Mental Development
• Becomes better able to set goals and think in terms of the future.
• Has a better understanding of complex problems and issues.
• Starts to develop moral ideals and to select role models.
ENCOURAGEMENT 101: The Courage to Be Imperfect

by Timothy D. Evans, Ph.D.
Encouragement is the key ingredient for improving your relationships with others. It is the single most
important skill necessary for getting along with others – so important that the lack of it could be considered the
primary cause of conflict and misbehavior. Encouragement develops a person’s psychological hardiness and social
interest. Encouragement is the lifeblood of a relationship. And yet, this simple concept is often very hard to put
into practice.
Encouragement is not a new idea. Its spiritual connotation dates back to the Bible in Hebrews 3:11
which states “Encourage one another daily.” Encouragement, as a psychological idea, was developed by
psychiatrist Alfred Adler in the early 20 th century and continued to evolve through the work of Adler’s follower
Rudolph Dreikurs. However, even today, relatively few educators, parents, psychologists, leaders or couples have
utilized this valuable concept. Most of the time, people mistakenly use a technique like praise in an effort to
“encourage” others.
Half the job of encouragement lies in avoiding discouraging words and actions. When children or
adults misbehave, it is usually because they are discouraged. Instead of building them up, we tear them down;
instead of recognizing their efforts and improvements, we point out mistakes; instead of allowing them to belong
through shared decision-making and meaningful contributions, we isolate and label them.
Most of us are skilled discouragers. We have learned how to bribe, reward and, when that fails, to
punish, criticize, nag, threaten, interrogate and emotionally withdraw. We do this as an attempt to control those we
love, bolstered by the mistaken belief that we are responsible for the behavior of everyone around us, especially our
spouses and children. These attempts to control behavior create atmospheres of tension and conflict in many
houses.
Most commonly, we discourage in five general ways:

• We set standards that are too high for others to meet because we are overly ambitious.
• We focus on mistakes as a way to motivate change or improved behavior.
• We make constant comparisons (self to others, siblings to one another).
• We automatically give a negative spin to the actions of others.
• We dominate others by being overly helpful, implying that they are unable to do it as well.
Encouragement is not a technique nor is it a special language used to gain compliance. Encouragement
conveys the idea that all human beings are worthwhile, simply because they exist. In one sentence, Mr. Rogers
does more for a child’s sense of adequacy than a hundred instances of praise when he says, “I like you just the way
you are.” Not I like you when you do it well enough, fast enough and get it all correct. Encouragement develops
children’s psychological hardiness -- their ability to function and recover when things aren’t going their way.
Encouragement enhances a feeling of belonging which leads to greater social interest. Social interest
is the tendency for people to unite themselves with other human beings and to accomplish their tasks in cooperation
with others. The Junior League mission of “developing the potential of women and improving communities
through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers” is rooted in the idea of social interest.
The first step to becoming an encouraging person is to learn to distinguish encouragement from
discouragement. As a rule, ask yourself: Whatever I say or do, will it bring me closer together or farther apart
from this person?
We all have the power to be more encouraging people. The choice, as always, is yours.
THE POWER OF PERSONAL DECLARATIONS

by Dr. Emily De Carlo
So often we accept the declarations that others have made concerning our own lives, well-being or fate.
It is imperative that we recognize that in order to achieve what we want in life, we must not give our power away to
others by accepting their declarations concerning our affairs. When one decides that he or she will boldly declare
good fortune, wellness, joy, etc. relative to his or her life, all of heaven will break loose! Goodness and mercy shall
surely follow.
From birth, we are often told what we are going to be. Sometimes, this is a good thing, but suppose you
have been told time and time again that "you will not amount to anything just like your mother or father"? This is a
dangerous declaration because it sets into motion the actualization of an unwanted occurrence. All of us want to
amount to something! In order to counteract this and all of the negative declarations with their destructive potential,
one must consciously replace them with one's own declarations. In so doing, you are now in control of setting into
action what you really want to occur. You can declare that goodness and mercy shall surely follow you all the days
of your life!
The following are some declarations that you may want to make concerning your life:
I declare:
that I am totally free of all addictions.
that I will survive any attempts of others to control my life.
that I am free in my mind, body, and emotions.
that I am free to set goals and reach them.
that I am a loving individual with the capacity to give love.
that I am a child of God with all rights and privileges thereof.
that I will contribute to the welfare of others.
that I will be an ambassador of goodwill to all I meet on the journey.
that I will be a good example for others to follow.
that I will help all that I can to reach their goals.
that I will speak words of encouragement to others.
that I will find the goodness in life and focus on it.
that I will not succumb to the negative influences of others.
that I will read the information that will encourage my personal, and spiritual growth.
that I will commit to being the best I can be.
BEING HAPPY
You may have defects, be anxious and sometimes live irritated, but do not forget that your life is the
greatest enterprise in the world. Only you can prevent it from going into decadence. There are many that need you,
admire you and love you. I would like to remind you that being happy is not having a sky without storms, or roads
without accidents, or work without fatigue, or relationships without disappointments.
Being happy is finding strength in forgiveness, hope in one’s battles, security at the stage of fear, love in
disagreements.
Being happy is not only to treasure the smile, but that you also reflect on the sadness. It is not just
commemorating the event, but also learning lessons in failures. It is not just having joy with the applause, but also
having joy in anonymity.
Being happy is to recognize that it is worthwhile to live, despite all the challenges, misunderstandings
and times of crises.
Being happy is not inevitable fate, but a victory for those who can travel towards it with your own
being.
Being happy is to stop being a victim of problems but become an actor in history itself. It is not only to
cross the deserts outside of ourselves, but still more, to be able to find an oasis in the recesses of our soul. It is to
thank God every morning for the miracle of life.
Being happy is not being afraid of one's feelings. It is to know how to talk about ourselves. It is to bear
with courage when hearing a "no". It is to have the security to receive criticism, even if is unfair. It is to kiss the
children, pamper the parents, have poetic moments with friends, even if they have hurt us.
Being happy means allowing the free, happy and simple child inside each of us to live; having the
maturity to say, "I was wrong"; having the audacity to say, "forgive me". It is to have sensitivity in expressing, "I
need you"; to have the ability of saying, "I love you." So that your life becomes a garden full of opportunities for
being happy...
In your spring-time, may you become a lover of joy. In your winter, may you become a friend of
wisdom. And when you go wrong along the way, you start all over again. Thus you will be more passionate about
life. And you will find that happiness is not about having a perfect life but about using tears to water tolerance,
losses to refine patience, failures to carve serenity, pain to lapidate pleasure, obstacles to open the windows of
intelligence.
Never give up ... Never give up on the people you love. Never give up from being happy because life is
an incredible show. And you are a special human being!

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MODULE 4: The Challenges of Middle and Late Adolescence

THE PASSAGE TO ADULTHOOD: CHALLENGES OF LATE ADOLESCENCE

ENCOURAGEMENT 101: The Courage to Be Imperfect

Most commonly, we discourage in five general ways:

THE POWER OF PERSONAL DECLARATIONS

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