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 WELCOME
CONTENTS
ON THE COVER COMMUNITY AND COMPETITIONS 14
4 Creative writing: Short fiction special: Set 25 Free-range writing: An apple a day
your scene The first of a new three-part series on Get inspired to write with these apple-themed
writing short stories exercises It’s a tried and tested
7 Creative writing: Writing sex scenes: More bang 27 Novel ideas maxim that writers should Tina Jackson
Content Editor
for your buck The sticky topic of writing sex scenes 34 Subscriber news always be writing – even a
10 Creative writing: Focus on feelings WM subscribers’ publishing success stories hundred words or so, every day, will ingrain
Exclusive advice from the great romance writer 36 Writers’ circles: Fake filter the habit and make writing as much a part
Jojo Moyes Writing group exercises of your life as eating and breathing. It will
12 Creative writing: Variety is the spice of life 38 In the spotlight: Subscribers’ creative make you fluent – and build your word
Sure-fire ways to create a sense of variation in writing count too! But to keep things fresh, we’d
your writing 40 The world of writing/Readers’ letters also suggest that every now and then writers
32 Creative writing: Breaking the silence 44 Writing for children: In it to win it! should switch things up. Try something new.
The challenges of writing the non-verbal The Writing Magazine Children’s Book Prize Take a creative risk or two. This month we’ve
protagonist of a witch craze novel opens for entries included some wonderful pieces to get you
71 WM poetry competition launch: Advice on thinking, and writing – a brilliant new series
INTERVIEWS AND PROFILES writing the terza rima form on short stories; articles on how to write
15 My writing day: Pascal Engman 72 Poetry winners: Wonderful things about sex, and love, and fantastic suggestions
The journalist turned bestselling crime writer WM’s Tutankhamun Poetry Competition for varying the pace in your writing.
16 Star interview: Harriet Evans 74 Short story winners: WM’s Villain We’ve been switching things up too –
The bestselling author of immersive family dramas Competition this month, with nights drawing in and
26 Shelf life: Alex Wheatle 76 Competition launches Halloween approaching, we’re including
Books that shaped the Sufferah author’s thinking 78 Under the covers: Can’t quite take the the frighteningly fantastic Written in Blood
and changed his life plunge New novel to write? Gillian Harvey is supplement – a guide to writing horror. In
30 My path to publication: Joanna Wallace procrastinating the February 2024 issue we’ll be bringing
The serial killer thriller describes how her writing you a special Competition Guide covering the
got darker... and funnier... INSIDE THE INDUSTRY whole of next year. And for those embarking
52 The business of writing: Poetry in on their writing journey, or wanting to
CREATIVE WRITING WORKSHOPS performance How could performance boost get back to basics, we’ve put together a
20 Under the microscope your poetry business? standalone writing companion: Write Now:
James McCreet applies his forensic criticism to 54 Research tips: Education Everything You Need to Get Started With
the beginning of a reader’s manuscript Learn how to research aspects of education Creative Writing (https://writ.rs/WriteNow).
22 Creative writing building blocks: A writer’s 55 Behind the tape: Expert advice to get the So get stuck in, find your inspiration –
companion A framework to help you and your details right in your crime fiction and start writing!
writing to progress 56 Ask the agent : Lisa Highton
28 The first five pages: The bones of a story Lisa Highton of Edinburgh-based Jenny Brown YOUR
MAGAZ
TWOULTIMATE GUIDE TO WRITING
ONE!
INES FOR HORROR

Never miss an
Rachel Abbott describes the opening set-up of Associates
ALWAYS BE
her tense new psychological thriller 57 From the other side of the desk: Cut the WRITING!



issue of Writing
 


CREATIVE
WIN

42 Fiction focus: Editorial input flannel Give your submission letter agent appeal
£22,032
WRITING
NG
IN WRITIS
PRIZE

WORDS
NEW SERIES OF LOVE
Advice from romance
Short fiction

Options for making your book the best it can be

Magazine
writer Jojo Moyes

58 Ask a literary consultant: The final push masterclass

Everything you
to make your
stories stand
need
short
out

SEX
WRITING
THE WITCH
silenced
Bringing
voices to life

A SENSE OF
SCENE S VARIETY

46 Masterclass: Seasonal affect Advice on the vital edits before you submit
invested
to pull them Keep readers
How in your writing
off (in writing!)

Using seasons in your short stories 59 Get published SUBSCRIBE NOW see p17
48 Poetry workshop: A hopeful outlook You’ve read the advice – now get into print!
A poem where childhood joie de vivre soothes Up-to-date submission calls, publishing GET THE WM DIGITAL EDITION
adult fears opportunities and writing competitions Direct to your device
50 Fantastic realms: Rain of terror 63 Going to market ORDER A COPY DIRECT, with free
Using the weather to add extra chill and creep in 69 Travel writing know-how postage https://writ.rs/wmissues
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OCTOBER 2023 3
SHORT FICTION SPECIAL:

SET YOUR
SCENE

In the first of a new three-part series on everything you need to

make your short stories stand out, prizewinning author and short
fiction specialist Alice Jolly explores setting up your story

aybe you already write short stories? Or lives, and worlds, but the key word is ‘suggests.’ The short
perhaps you’re a new writer, and you are story has to be condensed and presented in miniature. It is
not sure how to start? Either way, this generally a brief glimpse of a moment in time and it often
series of three articles will provide you dramatizes a turning point.
with ideas and inspiration to help you In addition, the story needs to have some wider resonance.
write your first story – or find new ways of looking at a No matter how ‘small’ it may seem, it needs to create an echo,
story you are already working on. an after taste. Something needs to be left unresolved so that
In this first article, I am going to look at how a short story the reader keeps thinking about the story after it has ended.
differs from longer fiction, what makes a good story, and how How can all this be achieved within a short word count
to create a first draft. The next article will look at writing ‘the (anything from approximately 1,000 words to 6,000)? I
turn’ and at creating dialogue and subtext. won’t lie. It is difficult. I wouldn’t argue that short stories are
The final article will look at why you need to create a sense more challenging than novels, but the work involved can be
of place and how you can do that. It will also investigate extensive – and hugely rewarding.
endings and suggest how you can edit your story so that it
glitters. Along the way I will be sharing tips and exercises Starting to write a short story
which will support you as you write. There are hundreds of ways to write a short story. What I
am going to give you is a blueprint for just one type of story.
How does a short story differ from a novel? This type of story works largely as one scene. Whenever we
Word count is far from the only difference between the talk about scenes it is worth thinking about the things which
novel and the short story. As someone who has judged are not a scene.
short story prizes, I see too many stories which fail These include description, characters thinking about
because the writer has treated the short story like the things, the author telling us their views, accounts of what
summary of a novel. characters generally do, backstory (unless it is told as a
A short story is similiar to a novel in that it suggests whole scene). Just to be clear, I am not saying there is no place for

4 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 C R E AT I V E W R I T I N G

ALICE’S TIPS FOR WRITING

YOUR SHORT STORY
• First things first. Think about how are you going to use
the advice in this article? An essential part of learning to
write is to know what feeds your creativity and what kills
it. If there are things here which fire your enthusiasm, use
them. If there are approaches which seem uninviting, then
lay them aside or adapt them so that they inspire you.

• Always be ready to throw out the baby with the bath

water. As writers we get attached to particular ideas and
we want to keep them even though they don’t work. Keep
the process loose. Don’t commit yourself. Be ready to take
an entirely new direction. One of the joys of the short
story is that you can be bold. What do you have to lose?

• If you are having problem inventing a change or conflict,

think back to the last time you faced a conflict (however
small) in your own life. Or look at a newspaper. If there is
a story in the newspaper which annoys you then that may
be a good place to start.

these types of writing. Creating characters and identifying what

All I am saying is that these elements are never going to changes
be enough on their own. All writing needs strong scenes. First you need a couple of characters. Ideally, your characters
What then is a scene? A scene happens in present time (not will be quite different. Create them by answering some basic
necessarily present tense) and it is about what happens on a questions. Sex? Age? Employment? Where does this character
specific occasion. live? Who lives with them? Don’t spend a lot of time thinking
It is largely shown not told and it involves at least two about this. (See the tips section if you are stuck).
people. It is about the interaction of character (even though Now think what changes in your story. Where does your main
that interaction could be non-verbal). It happens in a specific character begin? Where does he/she end? I am not talking about
place which the writer has chosen carefully in order to physical location but emotional state. What does your character
illuminate the events of the scene. know at the end of the story that they did not know at the
Also, a scene turns. In other words, it sets off in one beginning?
direction but changes track at some point. The characters What has been gained or lost? Obviously, as you consider
start off wanting one thing but then that alters as the story your moment of change then you may alter your characters.
progresses. Fundamentally, scenes are about what one You can rebuild them as many times as you want. You are
character does to another character. looking to find two people who can be used to dramatise this
The ‘turn’ involves an emotional shift or change. This can moment of change.
be very subtle but it must be there. If there is no change –
why have the scene? (We’ll look at the ‘turn’ in more detail in What is the conflict?
the next article). As you know, all fiction writing is about conflict but that doesn’t
All this might sound quite complicated but the upside is mean fights or slanging matches. A story can end with someone
that, if you learn to write good scenes, then you not only throwing a letter in the bin. If the story is sufficiently well
have the basis of a good short story. You have also learnt a written that can be dramatic. In the theatre they say, ‘No small
technique which is the building block for many different parts, only small actors.’ My version of that is, ‘No small stories,
kinds of writing (novels, plays, film scripts). only small writers.’
Also, if you ever work with an editor or agent, you may Ask yourself – what is the conflict in your story? Conflict
find them saying ‘you need to dramatize this.’ This is the arises from people wanting different things. What do your
same as saying ‘write this in scenes.’ If you have ever received characters want? You need to find a conflict which is not too
this comment, then this article is also for you. simplistic. For example, think of a conflict between neighbours.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 5

One is a single mother who shuts her children out in the garden,
ignoring the fact that they are making loads of noise.
What she wants is to be free of her children. By contrast, the “A short story is similiar to a
old man next door is furious about the racket. What he wants
is peace and quiet. This story isn’t going to work if the old
novel in that it suggests whole
man is irredeemably nasty or if the mother is aggressive and lives, and worlds, but the key word
unreasonable. Block-buster films may have led you to believe
that stories are about fights between good and evil. is ‘suggests’. The short story has
In reality, readers are looking for something more subtle. to be condensed and presented
The struggle between right and wrong, or good and evil, is not
as interesting as a struggle between different kinds of ‘good’. in miniature. It is generally a brief
What happens in a brilliant story is that the reader doesn’t
know where to place his/her sympathies.
glimpse of a moment in time and it
often dramatizes a turning point.”
What is the question?
As you consider the question of conflict, you should also ask
what issue is being addressed? Conflict and establishing a
question are different sides of the same coin. In the example Overall, my thought would be – why not know as much as
above the question is about parenting (always a thorny you can before you start? Writing is hard no matter what. If you
subject) and also the right to peace and quiet (another can establish a vague map before you set off, then why would
controversial question). you not do that?
Questions which will not work well would be – is bullying Of course, if you can’t, then that’s fine. Also, no matter how
wrong, does love conquer all, is the safety of children much planning you do, you will have to be flexible. Even
important? The problem with these questions is that, in professional writers find that their plans do not work in practice
general, we will all have the same answer. As a result, the story and will need to be changed – or scrapped entirely.
will lack challenge and depth.
The neighbourhood scenario I suggested may sound dull but Starting to write
it has one definite strength. It contains plenty of grey areas. Is When you have thought about character, change and conflict,
the mother really shutting her children out? If so, why? Are the write the story. Do this as you would a freewrite. You probably
children having fun or are they behaving badly? How much know about freewriting already but I am going to give you the
peace and quiet is the old man entitled to? We could side with basics here because often, as writers become more experienced,
either character depending on how the story progresses. they forget about freewriting.
That’s a big mistake. No matter how experienced you are,
To plan or not? freewriting can help. What is does it to take the judgement
Obviously, what I am asking you to do here is to plan the story. out of the writing process. So find your kitchen timer, or set
Of course, there is a lot of discussion in the writing world as to a timer on your phone. Maybe you can manage an hour or
whether writers should plan or not. I worry that this discussion two. Maybe twenty minutes is all that you have time for on
suggests that there are only two choices and that writers are this particular day.
hard-wired to do one or the other. It doesn’t matter. The only rule is that you do not stop
In reality, writing is a fluid process and writers change as they writing during that time. You may think that this isn’t the
learn. Also, the approach can change from one piece of work to right approach for the first draft of a story but it works for
the next. Generally, I do plan but sometimes I just start writing me. (I use it for novels.) Everything is so much easier once you
because I really can’t see the shape of what I am going to do. have a draft. Also, it really helps to see the whole shape of the
story – even if it doesn’t work.
EXERCISES The only way you can fail at a freewrite is not to put words
on paper. As long as you have written quite a few words, you
have succeeded. I stress again: don’t make any judgements
• Leave the draft for a few days, then read it through. about the process. You may realise that you are going to have
Underline the bits you like. Make some notes on what to change one of the characters totally. You may decide that
doesn’t work and how it might be fixed. the story is actually going to be set in the 1950s.
All that’s fine. Keep writing. This is a first draft. By
• Revisit your thoughts about conflict and about the definition, it will be highly imperfect.
question of the story. You might find that you see the Next month we will look at the next stages. Firstly, we will
story quite differently now that you have a strong draft. think in more detail about how we build character. We will also
look at writing ‘the turn’ and at creating dialogue and subtext.

6 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 C R E AT I V E W R I T I N G

CONTENT
WARNING
Includes
explicit
WRITING
material
SEX SCENES:

MORE BANG
FOR YOUR BUCK
Author James McCreet looks at the sticky topic of
writing sex scenes, with advice for writers who don’t want
passion to end up being conveyed in purple prose

artin Amis has said that sex is hard to vulgar or dirty when it’s supposed to be titillating. Worse
write because it tends to the particular still, it may seem numbly mechanical. There are so many
rather than the universal. Everybody’s ways to get it wrong. Let’s look at a few in detail (and
experience is different. ‘It may be,’ how to address them).
he wrote, ‘that good sex is something
fiction just can’t do – like dreams . . . Sex can be funny, Choosing nomenclature
but not very sexy.’ Indeed, The Literary Review’s annual Dick. Cock. Johnson. Schlong. Manhood. Rod. Member.
Bad Sex in Fiction award has been won by many notable Almost all of them look silly on the page – either uneasy
writers otherwise known for their fine prose. It’s a euphemisms or vulgar slang. If you try to be more poetic
minefield. But why? (stalk, wand, sceptre), you risk being ridiculous. If you
One of the problems is exactly what Amis identified: opt for the biological (vagina, penis and scrotum), the sex
it’s very difficult to describe sensations that are highly might look like a school textbook. Many
personal and subjective using mere words. Writing sex writers avoid naming the parts, going for
puts into words the things we usually don’t say. There are phrases like ‘He slipped inside her’ or ‘She
no words in sex – only deeply felt physical and mental grasped him firmly’, which minimise the
experiences. As soon as we seek words to label them, naming threat and allow the reader some
we’re turning the sex into a fixed and universal thing and interpretative leeway.
separating an organic, holistic act into ordered sentences. Another problem is word
There’s also the ever-present risk of inadvertent parody association. ‘Moist’ could describe a
or comedy. If the tone is not exactly right and completely nice lemon drizzle cake. ‘Stiff ’ could
consistent, the reader will guffaw. If the choice of describe a swollen window frame.
language is not precise and judicious, the sex may seem ‘Swollen’ could describe a twisted

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 7

ankle. There’s very little vocabulary It would be unusual in a thriller or a
that’s sex-specific. We have to choose romance or historical fiction to read a
it from the rest of the lexicon. Some sex scene that went on for two pages
writers try to get around the naming describing detailed ejaculatory patterns.
problem by recreating physical That’s the kind of thing you find in
sensation through simile or metaphor. contemporary fiction or literature, as
This is from Nobel prize-winner in Mary Costello’s ‘ . . . he went deep in
Gabriel Garcia Marquez: ‘. . . her entire mind and body, among crowded organ
body resonated inside with an arpeggio, cavities, past the contours of her lungs and
and her nipples opened and flowered liver, and, shimmying past her heart, he
without being touched.’ And this is from felt her perfection’ (which we might call
John Updike: ‘ . . . [her] wetness [was] ‘butcher’s shop’ erotica.)
less thick, less of a sauce, more of a glaze.’ Again, what’s really necessary? Maybe
In both cases, the comparisons seem you like describing sex, but does it
wilfully absurd, though they may mean contribute materially to the plot, tone,
something to the authors. Note how theme or characterisation? If your book
Updike’s ‘wetness’ could just as easily is concerned with a slow-burning love
describe a rainy day in Wakefield. With affair, the sex will be important and
sexual language, it’s often better to require some detail. If it’s important only
describe what something is rather than that a couple gets together, we can leave
what it is like. I submit this from my them inside the closed bedroom without
work in progress: ‘She pushed against his describing their bestial grunts and
erection a little harder and it slid inside, airborne fluids.
the head opening her, parting her. She felt My current work is about sex and
it reaming her contracted creases to fill her sexuality, so I have plenty of flexibility.
with rigidity.’ Better? Worse? It’s a requirement of the text that
things are described in detail. It’s also
Porn or erotica? a comedy, which gives even more
One of the main challenges is tone. freedom. You don’t need to worry about
Pornographic writing encourages the whether you call it a dong, a phallus
reader to visualise explicit detail with the or a pecker because they’re all funny
aim of provoking sexual response. Erotica in their ways. The following passage
is notionally more oblique, appealing isn’t supposed to be funny per se, but it
to more refined senses while still mildly doesn’t matter because the sex is comical
titillating. Some might argue they’re two elsewhere: ‘As soon as she’d unlatched the
sides of the same coin. The writer’s task is belt, unbuttoned the jeans and pulled the
to be clear what is necessary according to underwear’s elastic waistband away from
the book’s parameters. his lower abdomen, the phallus sprang
Most genres have a tacit level of sexual upright, the glans taut and purple, and
explicitness. Characters may get together began to ejaculate, spurting semen in
in coital union and the rules of genre rhythmic bursts maybe two, three feet into
dictate how much detail should be given. the air.’
You probably wouldn’t see that in Mills
& Boon or in a book by Val McDermid
or Lee Child because the tone is too
explicit. It wouldn’t serve the story. It
would be gratuitous. In my story, the
context is integral. The scene means
something important to the character
and theme.

Honesty and precision

All good writing is exact writing. We
need to choose the right words to avoid
inadvertent or unfortunate associations.
Look at this Bad Sex Award winner from

8 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 “If the tone is not exactly right and
completely consistent, the reader will
guffaw. If the choice of language is
not precise and judicious, the sex
may seem vulgar or dirty when it’s
supposed to be titillating. Worse still,
it may seem numbly mechanical.”

author Didier Decoin: ‘Katsuro moaned Phrases such as ‘moistened aperture’ and
as a bulge formed beneath the material of ‘more or less’ aim at mild comedic effect,
his kimono, a bulge that Miyuki seized, but could be changed for a more erotic
kneaded, massaged, squashed and crushed.’ sense. What alternative would you choose
I would suggest that none of those for ‘aperture’? ‘Vulva’ or ‘vagina’ might
listed verbs is correct in context. They be too clinical. The C-word would evoke
all describe specifically different actions an entirely different tone. Some authors
and so the sentence becomes largely use ‘sex’ as a noun to describe the male or
meaningless or absurd. female organs. ‘Parts?’ ‘Opening?’ ‘Loins?’
What other verbs could you use for a Whatever you choose has to match the
more realistic effect? ‘Seized’ seems quite overall tonal approach.
violent. ‘Grasped’ would be rough. How
about ‘took in her cool hand’? ‘Squeezed’ Slave to the rhythm
seems to be the word that’s missing: firm Apart from vocabulary, the rhythm of the
and ardent but not lethal. We need to sentences should also contribute. This
identify exactly what Miyuki is doing and line from Tom Wolfe suggests how: ‘Now
also her intent. Presumably, she wants to his big generative jockey was inside her
give him pleasure rather than cause him pelvic saddle, riding, riding, riding, and
irreparable damage. she was eagerly swallowing it swallowing
I said above that similes are dangerous. it swallowing it with the saddle’s own lips
This is true for all similes all the time. and maw. . .’ – while also suggesting how
They can help with description, but only not to.
if they genuinely add to the impression. Staccato sentences can replicate
Can we believe this description from twitching and jerking, Long sentences
Giles Coren: ‘ . . . she grabbed at his with multiple clauses can suggest
dick, which was leaping around like a rising crescendos or waves of pleasure.
shower dropped in an empty bath . . .’? A combination of the two in a larger
That would be true only if the penis was paragraph can capture various nuances
somehow disconnected from his body, fast and slow. Let’s have a go: ‘She ground
as hard as plastic and clattering. The her pelvis down on his, swallowing him,
only part of the simile that works is the consuming him to the fullest degree within
jerking. In this case, it’d be better simply her, then rose a little, gyrating slowly
to write ‘which was jerking’. with him still inside before descending
Consider this: ‘He propped himself on once again, repeating this, increasing in
an elbow and reached between their legs to frequency, her head thrown back now,
lay his middle finger along her moistened filaments of hair caught in her open lips,
aperture, where it slid as if bidden inside riding him but in her own world and
her until he found the g-spot, his thumb centred on her pleasure until she landed for
now more or less pressing against her clitoral the final time, hands on his chest grinding,
hood.’ The language here is broadly grinding out her climax.’ And now for a
functional, describing what goes where. nice cup of tea.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 9

 C R E AT I V E W R I T I N G

Focus on feelings

How do you write about love? Follow your heart – and read this exclusive advice for WM
readers from the great romance writer Jojo Moyes

hen I started writing, there was one the character is feeling. Sometimes, if I’m doing this well,
piece of advice I’d hear over and over I actually have to take a short break between characters
again: Show, Don’t Tell. Eighteen to shed one skin and put another one on. That’s always a
books and twenty years later, there’s good sign for me because it means I’m really experiencing
a different tip I want to share with what that character is experiencing. It’s a bit like method
you: Focus on Feelings. Not just the feelings between acting except you’re writing, so let’s call it method writing.
your characters, but the far more exciting thrill of making Over the years, I’ve realised that what works best for me
your readers feel something. Each time I start working is writing through the senses. Most of us experience love
on a new idea, the first thing I focus on is the different through our senses. We have very strong physical reactions
emotions I want capture. I find sketching out what I’m to the people that we love. So, what is love for you? How
trying to elicit in each chapter, before getting into the do you experience it? For example, say you’re writing as
nitty-gritty of sentences and descriptions, works a lot a young man who has finally come face-to-face with the
better. Because ultimately, if you – as my reader – don’t woman he’s been writing to for years. What is he feeling
feel anything during the book, then I’ve failed. at that moment? He’s likely experiencing butterflies in his
Something I really like to do is act my way into each stomach. Perhaps he’s exhausted because he hasn’t been
character, if that doesn’t sound horribly pretentious. I able to sleep the night before. Are his palms clammy? Has
basically think, what would they be seeing right now, what he shoved them in his pockets so she won’t see? Is he able
would they be smelling, what would be the feeling in their to form the words that he wants to say or is there a whole
stomach? Because if you can put your reader in the shoes internal monologue of things that he’s unable to say going
of your character, they’re much more likely to feel what through his head? What is he fixated on with her? Has

10 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

she got one blond eyelash? Is the sun moving through her bear in mind that your reader is probably going to feel as
hair? Just think about how you experienced that level of cheated as I did.
love or desire and translate it onto the page. If a character
is someone who’s a similar emotional build to you, use Jojo Moyes’ BBC Maestro course on Writing Love
that. Just don’t do this for every character you write; their Stories is available this October via bbcmaestro.com.
feelings should always be authentic to them. A wonderful
example of this is Graeme Simsion’s The Rosie Project.
This book is centred round a neurodiverse character: Don
Tillman. Don experiences his love in a very different way,
so everything that Graeme writes when he is falling in love
is much more measured and less sensory, but it’s about
that character’s own way of feeling and expressing.
You have to be prepared, as a writer, to sit down each
day with your method writing hat on. I have to laugh
or cry when I’m writing emotional scenes to know that
they’re working. If I don’t feel anything, I know that it’s
very likely the reader won’t either. When I was writing
Me Before You, I cried so hard the afternoon I drafted that
letter that my office neighbour (who didn’t like me very
much because I used to bounce off his wifi), knocked Jojo Moyes’ Writing Love Stories is the
on the door to see if I was okay. I literally had to say to latest addition to BBC Maestro’s collection
of online writing courses.
him: ‘No, it’s great, it’s going really well. Thank you very
much.’ He avoided me at the tea station after that… But Other writers on the platform include Alan
the point I’m trying to make is, if you are really feeling it, Moore, Carol Ann Duffy, Julia Donaldson, Ken
then that means you’ve really engaged with your character, Follett, Lee Child, and Malorie Blackman
you’re properly inhabiting them, and that gives your
reader a much better chance of feeling the same things
and engaging in the same way. So don’t feel afraid to laugh
at your own jokes, don’t be afraid to really feel emotional
when you’re writing something, because in my view,
that’s just a really good thing. If I’m writing those scenes Writing WRITERS
ONLINE

Romance
and I’m not eliciting an emotional response in myself, or WEBINAR
SERIES
worse, if I’m actually boring myself, I’m pretty sure that
it’s not working. When that happens, I go back and look
at the characters, the setup, and the writing and try to
work out what’s not working. Usually after I’ve re-read
through it and still don’t feel anything, I’ll just strip it
away and start again.
I think it’s important to say though that I don’t believe
you can do this cynically, and one of the reasons I feel
it’s so important to feel your characters deeply is because
if you try and introduce things with the sole purpose of
making your reader cry, I think it shows on the page.
This is not about cynically manipulating your readers.
I recently read a book where a character died at the end
but the ending felt so unearned and so forced and so
designed just to try and get an emotional reaction out of
the reader that I hurled it across the room. It infuriated
me. So all these emotional reactions have to come from
a very genuine foundation. They have to come from the
fact that you know these characters, you built them, you SIGN UP TODAY
care about them, you’ve put them in situations which are
realistic because they come from character; they’re not
doing things that are out of character. If you then throw www.writers-online.
in something bizarre, kill off somebody, send somebody
into outer space with no real emotional truth behind it, co.uk/webinars
www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 11
 C R E AT I V E W R I T I N G

Variety is the
spice of life

Author and workshop leader Rosanna Ley offers ten sure-fire

ways to create a sense of variation in your writing to keep readers
invested all the way from start to finish

on’t lose your reader’s will keep your sense of place interesting. 2. Vary your times of day…
attention. Keep things Depending on your plot, try using Depending on your timeline, try
moving by making things interior settings such as a room in a house varying the times of day and even
different. This advice that has personal, emotive associations or the time of year in different scenes.
will help you to bring maybe a church or a garden shed… and Perceptions change at night-time to
variation into your novel. use exterior settings such as a beach, a the way things are perceived in the
playground or a garden. Each setting will light of day – and characters will react
1. Vary your scene setting… have a different part to play. differently. There will be a differing
We all know that setting adds mood and • Example: Your main protagonist quality of light at various times of the
atmosphere and enables your reader to is called Marisa. You are writing about day and this too can add atmosphere
visualise the place you are writing about. what happens when someone from and mood.
Adding sensory description such as Marisa’s past turns up unexpectedly. • Example: If Marisa’s unexpected
sounds, textures, and tastes improves the Scene 1: where will Marisa be when this visitor confronts her at night, this
experience still further and will transport happens? If you place her somewhere might bring in an element of tension
your reader into your fictional world. If interesting then your setting could and danger. It could also introduce
you go one step further by describing add richness / interest / humour to the an opportunity for sexual tension (if
your setting through a character’s scene. Does she simply open her front appropriate… ). Marisa might be
perspective then you will connect your door to see them standing there? Is she feeling more vulnerable at certain times
character with the environment and the in the supermarket deliberating over of day, or she might have already had a
setting will be more authentic and rooted. which type of baked beans to buy? Or few drinks… She could be in a hurry
Varying your settings will enable you is she in a sunflower field in the arms of and on her way to work or she might
to do the above many times over and another man? be already in bed.

12 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

3. Vary your weather… their personality. Think individuality. walking round a lake (!), Marisa could
Wherever your novel is set, using Avoid black and white stereotypes. be packing a suitcase while pondering
diverse weather conditions will enable Remember that there are fifty shades of a decision that she has to make, or she
you to make the most of different grey might be cooking a special dinner while
imagery, textures, sensory experiences Example: Does Marisa have a friend waiting for someone special to arrive…
and associations. in whom she confides? This friend She could be cold-water swimming in
• Example: When Marisa confronts could be very different from Marisa the sea or she could be weight-training.
the person from her past, she could and they might have met in unusual The possibilities are almost endless
be walking in the rain, experiencing a circumstances. What about Marisa’s and will depend on your plot and your
frightening/exciting storm, dealing with family/work colleagues? What about characterisation.
a snowdrift (in which her car is stuck?), the person from the past and his or her
battling against the wind, getting lifestyle/ values/ background? Don’t 6. Vary your tension…
lost in the fog, or gardening in the overthink it, but be aware. The tension is the exciting bit: your
sunshine. All grist to the mill of keeping points of drama and conflict, but also
things interesting. In the next scene, 5. Vary the activity… narrative tension which poses questions
the weather will probably be entirely In each scene your character(s) will be that the reader will want answered.
different and things may seem different doing something – because people do. And Some scenes will be more dramatic
to Marisa too… hopefully not always the same thing… Use than others. In the planning stage, you
different activities and scenarios to make may want to consider your narrative arc
4. Vary your characters… each scene more interesting. in terms of moments of tension. You may
Who else features in this story? Making This will also allow you to mix have several high points during a novel, so
your characters interesting and diverse introspection with both action and ensure they don’t come all at once because
will add to the rich tapestry of your novel. description, thereby keeping the scene other parts will sag. Spread out moments
Your characters will act differently and well-balanced. of high tension so that there is always
speak differently too depending on their • Example: Marisa and the person from something your reader will want to know
background, their life experiences and her past could have an argument while or see resolved…

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 • Example: When Marisa is confronted 8. Vary the pace… ROSANNA’S TOP
by the person from her past, the scene Dramatic scenes will be faster paced
is likely to be tense and dramatic at because of their content, but pace TIPS FOR GIVING
the moment of confrontation. Keep can also be increased and varied by YOUR WRITING A
the tension going by introducing some your sentence lengths and paragraph
internal questions about Marisa/ the lengths, by using more dialogue
SENSE OF VARIETY
visitor/ their past relationship. Marisa may and action and less exposition and
have a secret that is only known by the description. One long sentence • Thought-storm unusual interior
visitor from the past. It may be a secret followed by another very long and exterior settings that might fit
that she doesn’t want revealed. You don’t sentence then another, can become into your novel and use a spider
have to tell your reader the secret too tedious. Use short sentences to break chart to explore atmosphere,
quickly – just the fact that there is one up your prose and catch the reader’s associations and memories.
should make them want to read on… attention. Short sentences will give
Other parts of the story may be quieter your prose a more edgy and sharper • Make a list of different weathers
in tension, for example when Marisa has feel and make it pacier. Longer and how they might affect your
made her decision about what to do. sentences will make it slower and character(s).
But there may be a sub-plot. This sub- more reflective. Use both to maintain
plot too will have points of tension and variation, rhythm and flow. • To practise dialogue take a
they will come at different times in the • Example: As she strolled along the question asked by one character
narrative arc. forest path, the crisp red-brown leaves and re-word it in the way another
crunching under her hiking boots, Marisa character might ask it.
7. Vary the writing elements… was conscious of the warmth of the
Consider each scene. Is there a good autumn sunshine on her face. Hang on • Make a list of all the activities your
balance of description/ narrative a minute, she thought. Why had he come main character might do at work
explanation and introspection (these here in the first place? Was he just trying and in their spare time – which
elements will make the prose more to frighten her? Her pace quickened. That ones can you use in your novel?
reflective and less active) with dialogue/ was what she must find out.
internal dialogue and action (making the • Plan a narrative arc, marking
prose more active)? 9. Vary your structure… moments of tension.
Because of their nature, some scenes will How is structure progressing your story?
contain more of some writing elements Can you vary the way you move on • Try an editing exercise of focusing
than others. Adding a bit of everything will narrative time? Flashback can be a useful on the verbs and changing anything
give your work more of a pleasing balance technique – but use too many times and which feels stale or which is not
and enable you to achieve more layers of it can become repetitious and confusing. working hard enough in the piece.
interest in the scene. If you are using a framing device in one
• Example: If Marisa is walking around scene, then do something different in
a forest thinking about her dilemma, the following scene. 10. Vary your vocabulary…
this scene will feature mainly description Vary sentence structure to achieve a We all have favourite words. Seek them
and introspection. But there will also pleasing rhythm and flow to your writing. out (search and replace is useful for this)
be action. And if you use direct internal (Check this by reading aloud). and then try using a different word.
thought (What should she do? Marisa Variation in paragraph lengths can also Think about your verbs and how hard
couldn’t stop acting out different scenarios be pleasing to the eye. they are working in your piece. Is there
in her head. Could she risk him telling • Example: Being in the forest, another verb which might work better?
everyone else the secret she had tried so hard breathing in the mustiness of autumn • Example: When Marisa is walking
to hide?) then this becomes more active makes Marisa think back to another round the forest, she
and will enliven the scene. autumn in her past when she did can stroll, stride or
In another scene, if Marisa is on the something she is now ashamed of. She stumble... depending
phone to a friend, there will be more goes back in her head (through flashback) on what you are
dialogue (active) and possibly action (if to that time, part of the secret is revealed trying to express.
she is still walking round the forest?) and then the narrative time comes back to
but there may also be snippets of the present and Marisa reaches a decision. The Forever Garden
introspection while she thinks what to say This is fine, but the next part of the secret by Rosanna Ley
or description while she is looking around might then be revealed in a different way is published by
and thinking what to say. (through conversation for example). Quercus (£8.99).

14 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 M Y W R I T I N G D AY

PASCAL
ENGMAN
The journalist turned bestselling crime writer tells
Lynne Hackles about preferring a structured day
and how he’s hardwired as a planner

ascal Engman, the son of a Swedish mother

and Chilean father, lives in Stockholm. Since English and published by Legend Press.
his first novel, The Patriots, was published in ‘Femicide is about an author that gets killed on his way to
2017 Pascal has become the best-selling Swedish the Gothenburg book fair. It is based on a proposition I got
crime novelist of his generation, with more than from a really famous Swedish criminal who wanted me to
600,000 copies of his books sold in Sweden. write a novel with him. He has a lot of connections in South
Formerly a journalist at the Swedish evening newspaper America, and with different cartels, so in the end I backed
Expressen, Pascal has been praised by Camilla Läckberg, out because I wasn’t sure his “business partners” wanted him
David Lagercrantz and The Swedish Crime Writers’ to write the book. But I realised it was a very good plot for
Academy as a rising star of Swedish crime fiction. Does all my next Vanessa novel where a crime writer, involved in
this praise added more pressure on him? this kind of project, gets shot. If he had written the kind
‘It’s nothing compared to the pressure I put on myself. of books I have where I’ve met a lot of gang members the
But all jokes aside – I am extremely humbled by that. I have police investigation would make a pretty interesting story.’
looked up to so many Swedish authors – Henning Mankell, Does Pascal have any advice to pass on to authors setting
Fredrik Backman, Camilla Läckberg, David Lagercrantz, Jan out, or is there any he received that has helped him?
Guillou, and Steig Larson among others, and to be named ‘Try to find a mentor. I got to know Camilla Läckberg
amongst them is really special. pretty early on and she and I bounced ideas off each other.’
‘I didn’t always know I wanted to be an author, but writing There is a Swedish foundation called Pascal Engman’s
was something I was inspired to do from an early age. Being stiftelse that Pascal is keen to talk about.
a journalist and writing articles made me realise I loved ‘Yes! It was created to support reading in Sweden. Every
writing and in 2016, almost on a whim, I went to Chile for year an award is given to an organisation or individual who
three months to write my first novel. That was probably one is working to increase reading amongst the youth, and who
of the best decisions I ever made. champions reading through different activities. When I went
‘Now I’ve written ten books. The Patriots, my debut novel, to a high school in 2016 I had about 250 students in front
and a non-fiction book, and then I have two series – the of me. When I asked how many of them read, only one
Vanessa Frank series where the sixth book, Bestseller, is raised their hand. I wanted to do something to change that
the one I have just finished editing, and then my friend, and this is how I want to motivate young people to develop
Johannes Selåker and I have released two books in our their own language.
Nightfall series. ‘Over the course of this summer we’ll be selecting this
‘I prefer a structured day now, especially since becoming a year’s winner. I shall also be editing the coming Vanessa
father. Being more dedicated with the time allows me to spend Frank book and begin writing the third book in the
more time with my son. Mornings really are my best time Nightfall series.’
to write and, when I’m in my writing and editing period, I
usually spend about four hours working on the text.
‘I always plan my books and would say I spend the
most time writing a detailed synopsis of what will happen
WRITING PLACE
in each chapter. Once the structure’s set the rest sort of
falls into place. Having the foundation super clear before If I am in Stockholm I usually start by going to the local
beginning to write the story helps me keep the pace and bakery for a coffee and to read the newspaper, the actual
not get stuck too creatively paper version of it. And then I get started with my four
‘I do quite a lot of research because, for me, that is how hours of writing. I prefer to be where there is a bit of
it’s always been since I began working as a journalist. liveliness around me. It helps me to focus a lot more than
Researching the theme and the worlds I want to write about if I were to sit at a desk where it’s quiet all around me. But
is such a necessary step to build a credible universe and to most of my books are written in my house in northern Chile.
make the readers want to stay as well.’ That’s my favourite place on earth.
Pascal’s latest novel, Femicide, is now translated into

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 15

 here are times when, as a reader, all you
want is to be swept up into a book –
to sink into it and lose yourself in it
until, finally, reluctantly, there are no
more words to read. That’s what makes
Harriet Evans’ multi-generational family dramas so
addictive: her unerring ability to captivate her reader
and draw them into the world of each family whose
story is unfolding. A Harriet Evans book is like being
a visitor to a fascinating family home, privileged to
have inside information as the secrets and dramas of its
inhabitants are gradually revealed.
‘I want to write about a family that lives in a house over
a period of time and I get the house and get the family but
it changes,’ says Harriet. ‘I always start with an idea and I
always try and map it out but it always changes.’
Her latest novel is The Stargazers, a book about what
home really means to its characters that this reader fell into
and resented any attempt at being dragged out of. The
family residence in question is Fane, a decaying stately home
that provides a backdrop for the dramas that play out in the
lives of the two lead characters, musician Sarah, struggling
as she sets up home with her exuberant, passionate husband
Daniel and copes with new motherhood, and her estranged
mother, the beautiful but abusive Iris.
Writing a family drama entails not only creating the
individual characters within their family, but the family as a
character in its own right.
‘I think all families are a combination of what’s happened
in the past and who they are – in life and in novels,’ says
Harriet. ‘It’s about what part you play in the family – I was
a real noticer as a child so it’s a muscle you have to flex.
I find it really weird when some people don’t, aren’t that
interested in their characters.’
For Harriet, the greatest pleasure in her books is creating
the family at the centre of each one, and then getting to
know them organically – just as you would if you met
them in real life. ‘A lot of it is knowing that you’re allowed
to tell their story, make up these people and think about
photo credit Phillipa Gedge

the characters,’ she says. ‘Creating this family. When

I’m starting a new story I do try and think some way in
advance, but the best way for me is to just start.’
Harriet began writing The Stargazers by exploring Sarah.
‘I wanted to write about how difficult it is being a new
mother. And as I was writing, something emerged about
childhood and this family that she can’t quite cope with.
Bestselling novelist Harriet Evans has But I had to get to know them as I was writing.’
Iris, the mother who exerts a malevolent hold over Sarah
made her name writing immersive family
in The Stargazers, was inspired by a real-life character:
dramas. She tells Tina Jackson about Diana Mitford, who became the wife of Oswald Mosley,
houses, secrets and family dynamics. leader of the British Union of Fascists. ‘I was reading

16 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 S TA R I N T E R V I E W

about the Mitfords, and Diana Mosley, and everyone could make it go away and I wouldn’t be able
talked about her beauty and I think she was really evil, an to do it. But it wouldn’t go away.’
apologist for Hitler. And I kept seeing her, and she was Harriet’s early books were packaged as chicklit.
the mother in the book. I kept thinking, what is it that’s ‘It was huge at the time, and I’ve always felt
dragging Sarah under?’ quite strongly that I liked chicklit books, but it
Family homes also take on the roles of characters in soon became this label to dismiss women and put
Harriet’s fiction: in The Stargazers, Fane is a decaying ruin them in the box. Marian Keyes, JoJo Moyes,
that casts a gothic, Daphne du Maurier-esque shadow Maeve Binchy were being called
over the lives of its inhabitants and their descendants. chicklit, but not David Nichols. It’s
In Harriet’s 2021 novel The Beloved Girls, it’s the West sexism, completely ridiculous.’
Country home of the Hunter family, and in 2019’s glorious Harriet’s books gradually morphed into the family
The Garden of Lost and Found, it’s the home Victorian artist dramas that have made her a repeat bestseller. ‘I’ve
Ned Horner built for his family, and where he painted his always been interested in generations, where someone has
famous picture of them. come from, the world they’re from. I think I was edging
‘With the houses, whether it’s a big house like Fane towards it but 2011’s Love Always, set in Cornwall in the
or The Bothy in The Beloved Girls, it’s really important 1960s, and about a family and a daughter who died, that
you know what it’s like to be there,’ says Harriet. ‘With was the first one that was really like that.’
Fane, I read about decaying stately homes, you’d find the She’s rightly passionate that books that deal with women’s
corpses of animals, and I wanted to feel I was in there. lives and appeal to women’s interests are often, and unfairly,
I find houses really interesting – I’ve always responded sidelined. ‘There’s this idea that writing about women’s lives
really strongly to houses and a sense of place – it’s really isn’t worthwhile, but if you write about their deaths, how
important to me.’ Harriet lives in Bath now, after years they got murdered, you get invited to festivals. I don’t want
in London. ‘One of the reasons I had to leave London to win the Booker Prize but I want to be on the top shelf
was I couldn’t cope with the house, the lack of sense of at WHSmith at Gatwick and have a reader trust me to give
place. Now in Bath I feel as if I know the house, the you a really relaxing, immersive read. You’re doing it for
hills – the garden used to be an orchard – all of that is readers to come back and trust you and want to read more.’
really important to me. I’ve Harriet’s books often start
always been fascinated by with an image she can’t get
houses. It’s trying to create “All families are a combination out of her head. ‘With The
a sense of home for the
characters, and it’s so much
of what’s happened in the past Beloved Girls, that started
with an image I had in my
fun to write about.’ The and who they are – in life and mind, a girl arriving at a
precise details of each house house in summer, flagstones
are vital to Harriet – she’ll in novels.” covered in lichen, and this
fill a notebook for each one family group around a table,
with notes including floorplans and even and I felt a real sense of madness
curtain material. – that the girl arriving there was in
Harriet worked in publishing before danger. It was originally called The
she became an author. ‘For many years!’ Outsider, because I’m fascinated by
she smiles. ‘I started as a secretary and that. That image stayed with me all
I was working at Penguin with loads of the way through the book. You add
different authors. I became an editor other threads as you go along.’
and I realised that more and more I was The historical aspects of the multi-
irritated by some of the manuscripts I generational sagas add layers of texture
was reading. One of my friends said to draw readers further into the worlds
you should write a book and I always of Harriet’s involving narratives. ‘I
wanted to write but I was terrified of am drawn to some periods more than
it, as you often are with the things that others,’ she says. ‘I like the aftermath
really matter. I’d always written, loads, to things and the build-up just before
in a notebook, alone, without trying things – a lot of The Stargazers is set
to do it seriously. I tried it to see if I in the 1950s because there’s so much

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 17

 S TA R I N T E R V I E W

“There’s this idea that writing about women’s lives

isn’t worthwhile, but if you write about their deaths,
how they got murdered, you get invited to festivals.”
recovery and hope – how grotty things were after the war, to be a full-time writer, don’t complain about it.’
houses and bombsites, but also hope, the start of the NHS. I Harriet had several novels in print before she became a
have to be interested in it – I’m not interested in writing about mother. ‘By the time I had my first daughter I had four
troops in the war, but I wanted to write about the effect of or five novels published and I knew I was allowed to have
war – a character has fought in the war and that’s the world a job as well as be a parent. I knew it was okay to ask for
for you. So it’s what’s happened in the past and how it affects help – I knew I was allowed to book a babysitter and go
people. I love research – I want you to be in this world, in this and do karaoke. Writing isn’t being a doctor in A&E – you
place in time.’ don’t write 12 hours a day, you can write for five hours a
In the end, though, everything in Harriet’s books is day. What takes up time and leans into it is the other stuff
in the service of creating characters whom readers will – publicity, social media, doing your emails, festivals.’
empathise with and remember once the pages of the books Harriet recently did a workshop at Bath Festival. ‘It was
are closed. ‘Character is exciting and beautiful! It’s my really interesting – I realised I kept going back to the same
favourite part of the whole thing in the way. When you points,’ she says. ‘Show up for yourself. A lot of people
think about the books you love, it’s the characters you don’t think they’re good enough to write a book. And then,
return to, not the plot. Books that are really heavy on further down, once they’ve written it they won’t edit it. And
character are the ones I revisit.’ then further down, they won’t talk to an agent or publisher.
She needed to understand the nuances of The Stargazers’ It’s quite a female thing, a lack of confidence. I present as
characters. ‘I wanted Daniel to feel like a real person, articulate and chatty but I’m quite anxious and I’ve had to
covered in paint, dressed in an old dress, enthusiastic, full pump myself full of confidence I don’t have. So, show up
of love and mildly crazy. I loved writing him and making for yourself. A lot is talked about kindness, but show up.
Sarah not the sympathetic one all the time. It’s so boring Start writing that book. The worst that happens is it goes
the way women heroines are meant to be instantly likable. wrong. Show up for yourself by going back and making it
And I wanted to know what had happened to Iris that better. Keep telling yourself to walk down that path. People
hollowed her out. With these big immersive family stories, I can always say no but the more you let yourself be that
want to go on a journey with them. What’s important is to person the more responses you’ll get.’
go back, tie it all in, make it make sense.’ Harriet’s other piece of advice is to be as involved with
Harriet’s family dramas get written around the demands your book as you’d hope a reader would be. ‘When it comes
of her own young family. ‘My trouble is, I write best at to the writing, I’m writing a book I want to read. With
specific times of the day, and for me that’s very early in The Garden of Lost and Found, I worked so hard on it, I am
the morning, 5.30, and then 3.30 to 8. And that’s peak incredibly proud of it and when I sent it off I cried. I was
children’s hours! What I should be doing is writing in the so in their world and saying goodbye to them, I just felt so
morning! I find it very hard to write during the day – I sad that I wasn’t going to be with them anymore.’
want to engage with things. It’s when my brain quietens
down that I’m ready to jump in to the world that I am The Stargazers by Harriet Evans is published by Headline
writing. It’s a bit of a challenge! But if you’re lucky enough Review on 14 September (£16.99)

18 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

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 Ready to have the first 300 words of
your manuscript critiqued? Contact
[email protected] for details

May Rinaldi recently retired as Your

writing
a health and safety consultant.
Previous jobs included as a lab
technician and a taxidermist;

critiqued
all of which have proved
extremely useful when writing crime.
She lives in Dumfries with her Norwegian
husband, two cats and several hens, but spends
a lot of time on Gozo, Malta’s sister island, and
decided to set her novel there due to the many James McCreet applies his forensic
characters and settings invoked by the island. criticism to the beginning of a reader’s
manuscript

Detective Chief Inspector1 Victoria Hayden2 couldn’t be used ‘Code Zero’18 to convey the police are under attack,
certain what registered first.3 The bullet hole in the small resulting in the serious injury or death of an officer.19 She
plain glass window to the left of the entrance to the pub4 looked around and saw little activity in the pub beyond the
or the larger exit wound in the side of Sergeant Tommy patrons staring at the screaming woman.20
Baldwin’s head.5 She took a millisecond to wonder6 who the Hayden approached the woman, only to have her scream
bullet had been meant to hit and dived to the floor.7 Sergeant louder.21 Hayden looked in a mirror22 to see one side of her
Baldwin was beyond needing an ambulance.8 Screams face speckled with blood, fragments of bone, and what she
started,9 the loudest being from a nearby woman wearing a assumed was grey brain matter.23 She pulled off her jacket
pale-beige dress10 now painted with irregular red dots.11 and covered Tommy Baldwin’s head, and moved chairs
Waiting for another shot but hearing none,12 Hayden deemed to secure the surrounding area.24 This is war.25 The time
no more shots would follow,13 pushed herself up from the for feelings and mourning would come later.26 She felt an
floor, moved to the bar, and displayed her warrant card.14 emptiness in the pit of her stomach, and a burning desire
“DCI Hayden, Metropolitan Police,”15 she shouted to the for revenge.27
bartender.16 “Give me the phone, then bolt the door and Desperate to wash her face, she closed her eyes and took a
stay there. Let nobody leave.”17 breath.28 Scene of Crime Officers would want her as she was,
She leaned over the bar, dialled 999, identified herself and and she touched neither the crime scene nor the victim. 29

1 I understand why you didn’t begin

with the much easier-to-process
‘DCI’ – the reader may not know
3 This is a dangerous play. The
actual registering of the details
takes possibly less than a second for
6 Back to the same problem: a
millisecond for the character but
a line of narration for the author. We
the abbreviation. On the other hand, the character, but narrating the detail need to find a way of making her
this is a crime genre book; we might of the two things takes much longer thoughts more real and immediate.
be relatively safe to assume the reader so doesn’t reflect the character’s point One way would be to use free indirect
would know it. The problem is that of view. Rather, the following sentence speech: Who’d the bullet been meant for?
the first sentence begins with a three- will be the author at work rather than
word job title: not the most gripping
start. I’d suggest sticking with ‘DCI’
the character’s perception.
7 This sentence caused me some
problems. Her leisurely pondering
and fleshing out the title when less is
at stake. 4 This is what I mean. There’s a lot
of detail here: the smallness of the
window, the plainness of the glass, the
of what she registered first made me
think she was examining the crime
scene after the fact rather than being

2 Another minor point: introducing

characters with their full names
is standard practice, but we need to
position of the pane etc. are all valid, but
telling it at length is not the instant of
recognition experienced by the character.
a witness to the actual crime. I didn’t
get it until point 9. I also wondered
briefly if it should be ‘dove’ but
think if this is useful for the reader. Do ‘dived’ is correct in British English.
we need to remember both names, or
will she be DCI Hayden for most of
the book? Maybe she does need both
5 This second detail is obviously
more striking and suitable to the
genre. It would have been good to get 8 A good sentence. It tells us
what we need to know while
names. It’s always a valid question. here faster and avoid the trap of trying also demonstrating the dark sense of
to capture DCI Hayden’s perception humour in these professions.
(see the rewrite for an option).

20 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

9 As I say, the order of events had

me confused. The opening seemed
so discursive and leisurely that I didn’t
16 It’s useful to be reminded that
pandemonium has broken out, but
there’s very little sense of it apart from
23 Good description. Sounds
realistic. I know that brains are
described as ‘grey matter’, but I feel like
perceive this was happening in the those generic screams. We need more detail I’ve read somewhere that it looks more
instant. There’s no sense of initial pace to visualise the scene. Are there people on creamy and gelatinous when blasted
or shock so I wondered, ‘Why are they the floor? Has anybody bolted or vomited? from someone’s head.
screaming?’ There’s something very Is literally everybody screaming?
matter-of-fact about ‘Screams started’
that nullifies the jolt it should create.
Beginning a new paragraph would help. 17 This, too, makes sense though I do
pause to question how credible it
24 The repetition of ‘and’ is a bit
clunky. It would make more
sense as a new paragraph, though it
is. If a few dozen people wanted to leave would leave the previous one dangling,

10 Again, the phrasing is very formal

as if we’re hearing a report of
the events read in court from a witness
the pub at once, I’m sure a man at the door
wouldn’t stop them. Nor am I sure what his
rights are if they trample him to death.
as nothing happens with the blood-
spattered woman.

account. Is it necessary to say the woman

was nearby if she’s covered in blood
spatter? 18 This would be more immediate as
dialogue, though I appreciate you’d
25 There’s presumably context
behind this sentiment, but the
reader doesn’t know what it is. Is moving
have to use her name and rank for the chairs part of the war? Nothing in

11 ‘Painted’ doesn’t seem like the right

word. It suggests a deliberate act
third time in a few lines. anybody’s behaviour so far suggests war.

or a wilful design. You could also go a

little further perhaps – a headshot might
also cause some hair and brain matter to
19 It’s possible the reader doesn’t
know the significance of ‘code
zero,’ but explaining it here slows the
26 This seems realistic and is a
useful way of signalling to
the reader why Hayden isn’t more
hit the dress. This gives you some of the pace yet more and is another example traumatised. She’s being professional.
necessary shock value. of the author’s voice mediating the

12 Beginning the sentence with a

subordinate clause continues the
story rather than it unfolding before the
reader’s eyes. 27 However, the next paragraph
has two robust clichés. Clichés
are never very useful for adequately
formal and leisurely tone, as if none
of this is remotely odd or shocking to 20 This seems unlikely. There’s a
man on the floor with a hole in
representing human emotions.

DCI Hayden (who’s nevertheless on the

floor).
his head but everyone is calmly looking
at the woman – apparently the only one
to make noise? Why aren’t people on
28 Again, opening with a
subordinate clause creates a
convoluted and overly formal sentence.

13 Her ‘deemed’ continues very

measured and calm. It reflects
the ground? Has nobody noticed they’ve
been locked in? Has nobody wondered if
Had she not been breathing previously?

none of the – presumably – terrifying

rapidity of thought in such a situation.
perhaps the whole pub is under attack?
29 As with ‘code zero’, do we need
to have this explained so overtly?
Even a seasoned combat veteran would
be hyper-aware and thinking quickly. 21 The phrasing is imprecise. It
makes it seem like Hayden
wilfully caused the woman to scream
Maybe Hayden should think something
that seems more routine rather than
explaining it to the reader in layman’s

14 Again, very leisurely and

commonplace, as if a policeman is
shot to death in this pub every evening.
louder as in ‘have someone clean your
car’. Nor is it clear why she approaches
the woman. It doesn’t go anywhere.
terms. Also, she’s just laid a jacket over
the victim’s head, introducing potentially
contaminating evidence to the body.
You could almost use ‘moseyed’ instead
of ‘moved’.
22 This makes it sound like
someone just conveniently
In summary
15 It makes sense that she’d say this,
but it’s information the reader
already has so seems a little redundant.
handed her a mirror. Where is the
mirror? How far away is it? Is it close
enough that she can differentiate
Starting with a vivid scene like this is
a great idea, but it needs pace, tension
Isn’t her name written on the warrant fragments of bone? and focus to work.
card? You could leave it at that for the
sake of pace.

Read James McCreet’s suggested rewrite:

www.writers-online.co.uk/how-to-write/under-the-microscope-mccredited/

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 21

 A writer’s
companion
Keeping track of your creative life
will provide a framework to enable
you and your writing to progress,
advises Ian Ayris

H
aving completed our set-up of the Foundation be mute buttons for people. But, you know, life is as it is.
of the Building Blocks of Creative Writing If I was to put this Companion together it would be with
in the previous articles in this series, focusing an A4 ring binder and a wad of A4 lined paper. If it makes
on the importance of writing with courage, more sense to you to use a computer and have all these as
honesty, empathy, etc – I would like now to separate files and sub-folders, please do.
turn to an issue often spoken of in writing circles – the A small disclaimer. The sections for The Writer’s
isolating nature of the life of a writer. Companion are neither exclusive nor mandatory. I am also
The writer’s life can feel lonely and, yes, it can feel well aware they will take time – time which you might find
isolating. It can feel – and to a degree must – be all it more important to commit to your writing project. Pick
consuming. And in the pursuit of words the writer can the ones that make sense to you. Add some of your own.
easily become untethered. Untethered from daily life and Ignore this article completely. You are in control of your
relationships, even untethered from their own writing, writing journey.
drifting helpless in a torrent of self-doubt and self-imposed You are the writer.
recrimination. Most pernicious of all, the writer can become Right. Here we go.
untethered from themselves.
In this article I propose a companion – a Writer’s The Reading Companion
Companion. The Writer’s Companion could be seen as the Keeping a track of your reading journey can provide a useful
rock to which the writer straps themsleves to as a means of complement to your writing journey. One of the pieces
staying tethered, of not coming undone. of advice I give all writers is do whatever you want but
know why you’re doing it. This applies to reading as well as
The Writer’s Companion is made up of two distinct sections: writing. Choose the books you read with care. There simply
i) The Reading Companion isn’t enough time to read rubbish. Read great books, read
ii) The Writing Companion groundbreaking books, read experimental books, read the
classic and current books of your genre, read whatever grabs
Now, I am very much a bear of the 1840s. Technology your attention. This last is the most important. Your writing
is not my thing. I was pestered into getting a phone by my journey is a journey of learning to trust your instinct. An
children in my late thirties (I am now 54) and if I had my example of this is when I saw a discussion of the American
way there would be no phones, no cars, no television, no author Stephen Crane on a writing message board a few
aeroplanes and no internet. If I had my way there would also years ago. I’d heard of his Red Badge of Courage but another

22 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 C R E AT I V E W R I T I N G B U I L D I N G B L O C K S

book was mentioned – Maggie: a Girl of the Streets. I loved one. If you find daily targets incentivising, perhaps include
the title – especially for something published in 1893. On a that in this section]
whim, I bought it. Maggie completely changed my view of
what writing can do. I owe everything to that small book. Section Two: Favourite line(s) you’ve written today
So how do you record your reading journey? Whether it be a word, a phrase, a line of dialogue or a
My own setup would be something like this: paragraph, look at everything you’ve written this day and
copy out here the one thing you are really proud of, the one
Section One: Record of current reading when you see it you think Did I write that? It is unlikely we
Date Book Author Pages will write a killer line every day. But know you have been
23/7/23 Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck 24-49 the best writer you could be this day. Know this to be true.
23/7/23 Hamlet Shakespeare Act I Because it is. Look through eyes of shining pride at what you
23/7/23 Child of God Cormac McCarthy 101-120 have done. Look hard and there will be something to feel
When I finish a book I would write ‘to end’ under the proud of.
page column.
Date Project
Section Two: Thoughts or comments on current reading 23/07/2023 These Walls (a pretty creepy work in progress)
Date Book They put me on a train with smoke and goodbyes. But not
23//7/23 Grapes of Wrath for me. No goodbyes for me. Only a satchel and a number, and
Love how Steinbeck uses show not tell so effectively. And a destination to remember. I am dressed in clothes that are not
the dialogue - blimey. mine. Clothes clean of blood and fear. They scratch my skin
and tear at my hope. They smell of the dead boys in my dreams,
Section Three: Favourite quotes or passages and I live now with the shape of their faces, their naked bodies
Date Book wordless and gone.
23/7/2023 Grapes of Wrath
‘There is a crime here that goes beyond denunciation. There is Section Three: Issues encountered whilst writing today
a sorrow here that weeping cannot symbolize. There is a failure The section is for highlighting any issues you might have
here that topples all our success.’ encountered today whilst writing. This could be issues
Wow. So prescient. regarding the plot or a particular character. It could be an
external issue, something like the computer freezing or your
Section Four: Mini reviews of completed reads inability to remain focused, perhaps identifying solutions
Date Book Author
20/4/23 Blood Meridian Cormac McCarthy
Relentlessly distressing and beautiful in equal measure.
The sense of place was incredible. The depths of human
darkness McCarthy shows gives me the courage to explore
the same in my characters, without fear.
[If you can, include in the review a lesson you can take
for your own writing]

Now onto the writing section of the companion . . .

The Writing Companion

Again, each section would be documented on an A4 sheet of
paper.

Section One: Word count and progress

Anchoring the writing part of the companion – as with the
reading section – are the nuts and bolts, the tangibles.

Date Project Daily Word Count Total Word Count

23/07/23 These Walls 1,146 12,406
Have taken MC from bombing of house in Blitz to
evacuation train.
[For me, I don’t like daily targets, so I wouldn’t include

www.writers-online.co.uk
Date Project iii) Quotes or passages that blew my mind
23/7/2023 These Walls iv) Mini review on completion
Need to make sure there is story in the madness. Have to
watch the narration does not become too obscure. All in the Writing
editing. Don’t worry about it now. Just keep writing. i) Word count and progress
Had to break writing session to take dog for walk – will ii) Favourite lines written
take him soon as I get up tomorrow, and from now on. iii) Issues encountered
iv) How you are feeling about your current project
This journal companion is primarily a reflective v) How you are feeling about yourself
companion. To this end, the next two sections, akin to diary vi) Intentions for next day
entries, are for you to take a look at where you are with your
writing and with yourself. Aside from this Writing Companion being an aid to
The following sections are perhaps the most important remaining in control of your writing life, I see its true worth as
elements of the companion, mini diary entries, so to speak. being a reflective space in which to put words to your writing
journey and the journey of self-awareness that drives it.
Section Four: How you are feeling about your current Writing is more than words on a page, it is a journey of
project self-discovery.
Honesty is your only goal here.

Developing
Date Project
23/07/2023 These Walls WRITERS
ONLINE
Excited with the depth I am achieving but wary of it
becoming too obscure.
your story WEBINAR
S ERIES

Section Five: How you are feeling about yourself

Look deep. Have courage. Carve those words from the
darkness.

Date Project
23/7/2023 These Walls
I know this story is trawling some very dark places. Each
page is showing me who I am. Must remember, it is only
words. Need to take this one slowly.

Section Six: Intentions for the next day

Date Project
24/7/2023 These Walls
To take MC on train from London to evacuation in Devon.
[You could have some sort of word count target here – if
that’s your thing. I tend to go more with where I want to
get to in the story.]
SIGN UP TODAY
The entire Writer’s Companion is made up of the following:

Reading
www.writers-online.
i) Page count
ii) Thoughts or comments
co.uk/webinars
24 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk
 F R EE
RANGE
writing
P L E Y
AN A P
A DA
Get inspired to write with these apple-themed exercises from Jenny Alexander
ramley, Knobby Russet, from the way I experienced them. Take or in paragraphs, ‘First… Next… After
Discovery, Blenheim Orange, twenty minutes. a few weeks… Finally…’ Include a
Kingston Black, Dabinett… Note: If you can’t think of any ‘Fascinating Facts’ or ‘Did You Know?’
October is Apple Month, a specifically apple-themed memories box with one or more interesting things
time to celebrate the amazing you might have to include other kinds you’ve discovered in researching your
diversity of apple varieties and recipes, and of food in this exercise. piece. For example, I discovered that
what better way for writers to join in than the tree you grow from a pip won’t bear
by dipping into the diversity of different Fiction the same kind of fruit as the tree the
genres with some free-range writing? In the biblical creation story the snake pip came from. Or you could include a
One rule (and it’s the same one as for tricked Eve into eating the apple and it ‘Top Tips’ box with things like keeping
apple recipes): stick to the timings! got her and Adam thrown out of the the soil or paper your pip is growing in
garden. Snow White accepted a poisoned moist. Take twenty minutes.
Memoir apple from the Evil Queen, and eating it
Jot down some apple dishes you associate almost killed her. Poetry
strongly with a period, person or place In this month’s story, someone with There’s a lovely little poem by William
in your life. Sachets of dried apple in malign intent uses an apple-based food Carlos Williams, This Is Just to Say,
the 1960s… my grandmother’s weekly to trick their way into someone else’s life that takes the form of a note from one
offering of apple pie... stewed apples with and cause them trouble. Maybe someone person to another, apologising for eating
cinnamon on holiday in Amsterdam. suspects a neighbour is having an affair. the plums that were in the refrigerator.
Choose one of them. Where and She takes a home-made apple pie, talks You can imagine it on a scrap of paper
when did you eat it? I took sachets of about how lonely she is, gets invited fixed by a fridge magnet, or maybe left
dried apple youth hostelling at Tanner’s in, has her suspicions confirmed then lying on the kitchen table.
Hatch in my mid-teens. Write some goes home and writes a blackmail letter. Your little poem will take the form
notes on the settings – indoors or Maybe someone has seduction in mind, of a note from someone to a friend
outdoors? Time of day, time of year. or it could be an actual poisoning or family member about an apple or
Who did you eat it with? What was involving an apple product tampered apple product. Perhaps it’s a few words
the general mood of those times? What with to cause physical ill effects. of encouragement from a parent who
feelings do you associate with eating Make some character notes. Who has has put it in their child’s lunchbox
this food? Independence, fun, freedom malign intent, and why? Who do they with an apple, or from a flat-share
of the outdoors… want to harm or manipulate? What is friend apologising for smoking out the
Start your piece by describing the the action of the scene – where does it kitchen trying to bake an apple pie.
food, then the period in your life, and happen? Does the target character accept Who is writing the note, and who
then an occasion when you ate it. You the poisonous offering? If not, what for? Your poem needs to be very
might not be able to remember one makes them turn it away? short, so how can you suggest the
particular occasion but now you have That’s the scope of this scene, relationship between these two in
all the information you need to write just the offer and the response. End very few words? Is it generally warm
a piece of autofiction, a story that on a cliffhanger, leaving the reader and loving, or tense and angry? Can
expresses the authentic spirit of your wondering what will happen next, as you suggest the setting? It will help if
experience even though the details are if it was a chapter ending in a novel. you picture the paper that the note is
not factually accurate. Take twenty minutes. written on, and the writer writing it.
The key is to focus on the feelings Make it rhyme if you want to, but it
and the way you experienced the Non-fiction doesn’t have to. You could check out
environment, both physical and social. This is a simple how-to article on the William Carlos Williams poem for
I don’t remember many of the other growing apple trees from pips. You can inspiration. Take twenty minutes in
hostellers, but I could create characters write it in the form of a numbered list total, trying several versions.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 25

 ALEX WHEATLE
As his memoir Sufferah is published, telling the story of his early life in care and in prison, the
award-winning novelist picks the five books that shaped his thinking and changed his life

As part of his Small Axe series, Sir Steve in the morning. I try to avoid distractions and turn off any
McQueen decided to film a drama about devices and phones. Sometimes I write for three hours, on
my young life for episode four. It was an other days just an hour. I never try to force it. On occasion,
overwhelming experience as initially I the best ideas come to me when I’m taking a walk in the park
was just a member of the creative team or travelling on a train. I keep a little notebook for when
and part of the writers’ room. these ideas strike, something I’ve done since I was a teenager
You cannot squeeze everything into an writing poetry and song lyrics.
hour’s TV drama, so I decided to write a The best piece of writing advice I have received is to ‘write
memoir, Sufferah, to help fill in the gaps. the book that you’d like to buy.’
Writing about my life proved to be a To my students I try to advise them to write about a
cathartic experience for me. subject matter that they feel passionately about and have a
I usually begin my writing sessions compelling interest.

Treasure Island Catch a Fire The Colour Purple

by Robert Louis by Timothy White by Alice Walker
Stevenson The late great Bob I’ve always been
The first novel I read Marley passed fascinated by
was Robert Louis away in May 1981. African-American
Stevenson’s Treasure Personally, it felt writers. For most
Island. It was given like a death in the of my spare time
to me when I was family. I wanted to serving my prison
attending St Giles School for delicate discover more of the man behind sentence I read James Baldwin,
children in South Croydon when I was the music so when Timothy White Richard Wright, Langston Hughes,
about eight or nine years old. published his biography of the W.E.B. DuBois and many others.
I remember reading the book under legendary musician titled Catch A It was only after I had watched
my bed covers at the children’s home I Fire, I was one of the first in queue the Steven Spielberg directed movie,
was residing in with the aid of a bicycle at the bookshop. The Colour Purple, that I decided
light. Treasure Island offered me moments Reading the book, I discovered to purchase a copy of Alice Walker’s
of escape from my miserable, lonely that Marley was born into abject classic novel. It was the first time I
existence in the institution. I recall poverty in a rural community in had read about the female narrative
dreaming about sailing the high seas and Jamaica. His father had abandoned of the Black-American experience.
enjoying adventures full of jeopardy just him when he was a young child and Once again, I found parallels to my
like Jim Hawkins. I imagined meeting all he had was this desire to play own life journey, including loneliness,
characters like Long John Silver and Billy music and sing songs. It greatly helplessness, abuse and a central
Bones. Many years later, it helped inspire inspired me, particularly as I found character, Celie, who fights against the
my Y/A novel, Kemosha of the Caribbean. parallels with my own life journey. odds. The novel offers hope too.

26 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 The Black Jacobins Oliver Twist
by C.L.R. James by Charles Dickens
Following the 1981 Brixton Oliver Twist, the award-winning
uprising, I found myself serving film musical, was a mainstay of
a prison sentence at Wormwood holiday television schedules in
Scrubs in West London. My the 1970s. On three occasions,
cell mate, Simeon, had a I was banned from watching
small bookshelf in our cell. the movie for so-called
He encouraged me to read. misbehaviour (I suspected that
Initially, I was reluctant, but the staff in the children’s home
the first text he offered me feared that a kid like me would
was C.L.R. James’ The Black get ideas about running away).
Jacobins. It was a forensic Years later, I bought a copy
account of the 1791 Haitian slave revolt and revolution of the source material, Charles Dickens’ novel Oliver
led by Toussaint L’Ouverture. At school I was never Twist. I’m not sure why but I always believed that the
introduced to any aspect of Caribbean history, so The Victorian age was a prosperous time for Britain. It
Black Jacobins was a game-changer for me. It informed was a time of invention, the railways, mass industry,
me about my forefathers and gave me pride in what they colonisation and great wealth. Through the pages of
fought for and what they attempted to achieve. I wasn’t Dickens’ novel, it was a shock for me to discover that
aware of it at the time of reading, but the text planted a children were treated so appallingly with minimal
seed for my own Y/A slave revolt novel, Cane Warriors. empathy and compassion.

Novel to it. He said it was tinker time. I immediately wrote

Ideas
down those two words in my notebook.
Tinker time, I thought, is what we do when writing,
or what we should do. I finish a piece of work, let’s say a
short story. I leave it until the next day and go through it
again to edit and do some rewriting. That’s the main part

Tinkering about over with.

The following day I take another look at the story.
I check all my punctuation and spellings. I read each
Tinker time is never wasted, believes sentence slowly, and out loud. Reading aloud makes such
Lynne Hackles a difference. It’s easier to spot mistakes that way.
A few days later I return to the story and I guess this
I was watching Portrait Artist of The Year when I first is when I spend some tinker time on it. It looks finished
heard the expression ‘tinker time’. In case you’ve not seen but, if I tinker a little more, could it be better? This
this programme, each week a group of artists have to is when I might decide a word could be changed. For
paint a portrait in four hours. They are divided into three instance, is fear the word I want or would dread be more
groups, each having a different celebrity posing for them. powerful? There is nearly always a little something that
It was getting to the final minutes. The camera zoomed can be improved on, just like those final tiny brush-
in on one of the artists. I can’t remember his name or who strokes when painting a portrait.
he was painting. I do remember thinking his painting I shall leave this now and return in a few days to spend
looked finished but he was still adding teeny-tiny touches some tinker time on it.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 27

 The
BONES
of a story
credit: Andrew Crowley

Bestselling author of psychological thrillers R a c h e l A b b o t t describes the opening

set-up of her tense new novel, and the significance of its seaside setting

on’t Look Away of Cornwall’s rugged coast and absence. She grapples with self-
is the third book tempestuous waters seemed the perfect blame, questioning whether she
in my Stephanie backdrop to stories in which emotions failed to recognize Lola’s struggles
King series, set are equally turbulent. or was too absorbed in her own
in the beautiful Each book in this series explores problems to care. The devastating
English county of Cornwall. Before intricate relationships, and in Don’t Look events surrounding Lola’s
starting this series, I had always Away I delve into the realm of toxic disappearance have shaped Nancy’s
set my thrillers in cities – mainly family dynamics and the inner resilience life, and she arrives in Cornwall as
Manchester – but the first book in we summon to protect our loved ones. a young woman who is shielding
the Stephanie King series (And So It The narrative unfolds through the herself from the world, terrified she
Begins), came to me complete with a perspectives of two main characters: isn’t deserving of anyone’s love.
fully-formed vision of the location: Stephanie, a detective sergeant in the Reflecting on her dysfunctional
a stunning property built into a cliff Devon and Cornwall police force, and family, Nancy realises she never
overhanging the sea. So, Manchester Nancy, a young woman whose life has truly saw its flaws. She recognised
was clearly out! been shattered by loss. her mother’s unhappiness but didn’t
Since that first novel, the ocean has I always believe my books to be understand its underlying cause. Like
become almost a character in its own about the victims and perpetrators of most teenagers, she accepted her life
right, woven into each book in the the crimes, with the police – however for what it was – a mix of both good
series, in stories that couldn’t take place strong and significant their personalities and bad – until her mother became
anywhere else. might be – playing the essential role of bedridden. Nancy’s resentment grew
My obsession with the sea has unravelling the mystery that surrounds as she became the sole carer, forced to
developed since I moved to the tiny the protagonist. In these books, leave school and abandon her ambitions
island of Alderney in the Channel Stephanie is vital to the resolution, but while Lola enjoyed the freedom of a
Islands, living in a home which is this is Nancy’s story. normal teenage life. Now she wonders if
surrounded by sea on three sides, and Nancy, burdened by guilt and perhaps, if she hadn’t felt so aggrieved,
I love its changing moods – from haunted by the disappearance of so self-absorbed, Lola wouldn’t have run
calm blue waters to raging storms her younger sister Lola, returns away. Maybe it was her fault.
and crashing waves. The combination to Cornwall after an eleven-year Back in Cornwall, Nancy’s

28 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 T H E F I R S T F I V E PA G E S

memories haunt her, and at thirty In chapter one, the story jumps back draws closer to the cottage a flood of
years old, she begins to reinterpret in time to five days prior to the events unwanted memories tempts her to flee
events she may not have understood in the prologue. Two brothers are back to the comfort of her safe, albeit
at nineteen, questioning what truly having a heated argument on a patch of uninspiring, existence. She wants the
happened to Lola. It soon becomes land overlooking a cliff, and in a sudden train to slow down, to delay her arrival.
clear that someone in the local area outburst, the younger brother hurls Or maybe she should get off at the next
doesn’t want her there, and she has to his trainer at the other. It flies over the station before the recollections of her
search for levels of resilience she didn’t edge to become lodged on a rock a few last trip to Cornwall can overwhelm
know she had. metres below. Panic ensues as the boy her. She has built barriers around her
I chose a first-person narrative realises he doesn’t dare go home to tell heart to block from her mind that
for Nancy, aiming for an intimate his mum that one of his new trainers intense, painful period of her life,
connection that allows readers to is lost. After much arguing, the older and we begin to understand Nancy’s
experience her emotions, thoughts, brother agrees to climb down the cliff character and the complex relationships
and fears first-hand. As a complex to retrieve the lost shoe, but his foot within the family before we are aware
character, Nancy undergoes slips and a fall sends him plunging into that her unhappiness stems from Lola’s
significant development throughout the sea. Unhurt but terrified, he swims disappearance and the disintegration of
the story, evolving from a guilt- into a nearby cave, and it is there that her family.
ridden woman plagued by insecurities he stumbles upon a chilling discovery – My intention in these opening
into a courageous and determined a skeleton. chapters was to help readers understand
individual, strong enough to take This pivotal chapter serves multiple Nancy as she is in the present day
action. The reader sees the world purposes. It sets the scene of the before – through her memories –
through Nancy’s eyes. beautiful Cornish coast with its high learning of her past and how she
Stephanie King’s character is written cliffs, wild seas, and hidden caves, and became the person she is now. Knowing
in close third person. I want readers it portrays another relationship between her, caring about her, and watching
to see her, to recognise her, to know siblings, demonstrating a close bond her develop makes all that happens
her. We are observing her, while occasionally fractured by moments of subsequently so much more menacing.
simultaneously understanding what both conflict and solidarity. Ultimately, In summary, the first few pages
motivates her (and in Stephanie’s case, though, it introduces a core element of of Don’t Look Away aim to grab the
irritates her!). She is in many ways the the chapter and the story – the skeleton. reader’s attention, to create a sense of
opposite of Nancy – headstrong, feisty, Stephanie is tasked with retrieving intrigue through the brief prologue,
impatient. But she has a good heart the remains and, with the assistance to indicate that five days after the first
and empathises with Nancy’s fears of a forensic anthropologist, strives to chapter, someone (although we know
about Lola. Stephanie was involved identify the body with nothing more not who) is potentially in danger. The
in the initial investigation into Lola’s than bones as clues. She is desperate setting is established – the wild, rugged
disappearance, and although only a to know the approximate age of the coast and the dangers that lie within its
constable herself at the time, she realises deceased and, more significantly, the beauty – and the mystery surrounding
that more should have been done to sex. We are left to wonder if this could the skeleton is discovered. The scene
trace the missing girl. She, more than be Lola. Perhaps she didn’t run away is set for the introduction of Nancy,
anyone, wants Nancy to find out what at all. and we begin to uncover the darkness
happened to her sister, where she went, Although this is Nancy’s story, I of her past, the complexities of the
and why. chose not to introduce her within the relationships, and the threat that is yet
From the very first page of the book, first pages of the book. The prologue to come.
I aimed to hint at the underlying aims to establish a degree of menace At its heart, Don’t Look Away
threats, to invite readers to explore and Chapter One provides the crucial is a story with dark, menacing
the hidden complexities beneath the discovery of the skeleton to create overtones and toxic
surface of the story. The novel begins a sense of imminent threat without relationships. But
with a short prologue that foreshadows the reader fully comprehending its below the surface
the dangers awaiting the protagonist, nature. Although subsequent chapters we discover hope,
instilling a sense of foreboding, delve into the past to unravel what love, courage and the
revealing an unknown person who transpired, the present remains fraught strength of family
clearly poses a threat. As the tension with danger. bonds.
builds gradually throughout the Nancy makes her first appearance in Don’t Look Away
narrative, readers become increasingly Chapter Two, as she embarks on her by Rachel Abbott
aware that danger lurks, creeping in reluctant journey back to Cornwall – a is published by
the shadows, ready to strike. trip she feels obliged to make. As she Wildfire (£8.99)

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 29

M Y PAT H T O P U B L I C AT I O N

JOANNA
WALLACE
As her serial killer thriller is published, the
debut novelist describes how her writing
got darker... and funnier... as she grieved
her father’s devastating illness

remember when I was six years old, sitting on time, how horribly self-indulgent of me to try to write
the floor at infant school, listening to the teacher a novel.
tell us the most brilliant story. Full of intriguing In-between work and parenting, I eventually typed
plot twists, it was fast paced, exciting … and up all my scribbled notes – it took years, but I had
then the bell rang. ‘No!’ I shouted. ‘I need to written a book! So excited, I sent out the first draft
know how the story ends.’ The teacher smiled and to literary agents and when it had been rejected by
suggested I write my own ending. So, I did. And that’s them all, I started writing another. Years later, that
when I realised how much I loved writing because was finished too and again, I sent out the first draft
unlike other subjects we studied at school, there were which again, was universally rejected. So, I focussed
no right or wrong answers when writing a story. The on my idea for the next book – a serial killer who sees
next day I was so excited to show the teacher what I’d her victims as ghosts before they die, and that’s when
written but never found the courage to pull the pages my dad was diagnosed with early onset dementia. I
from my bag. What if she read my words to the class? became furious at the brutality of such a merciless
What if they laughed? I decided I should probably disease, and put all my rage into creating Claire, my
focus on the other subjects at school – the ones with serial killer. At a time when I was powerless to save my
right and wrong answers, and by the time I was beloved dad, there was strange comfort in her strength
studying law at university, even I had forgotten the and dark humour. When Dad died, I continued to
part of me that liked to write stories. write through my grief, using it to drive the story into
I worked in commercial litigation for a while until unexpected places. Two years later, I had completed
an autoimmune condition took away some of my sight the first draft which I excitedly sent out, and although
and ironically made me see life more clearly. Law is two agents requested the full manuscript, ultimately it
a great career, but it wasn’t the right career for me, was rejected. So, I saved it on my laptop and got on
so I left my job and joined a temp agency. Flitting with all the other things more important than writing.
between office work and hospital appointments, A couple of years later, during one of the lockdowns
I was able to focus on my health and slowly my and I’m not entirely sure why, I started telling family
vision started to improve. I got married, had four and friends about my secret writing. They read a
children and one evening found myself telling them couple of my short stories and when they requested
a bedtime story. They demanded new stories every more, I mentioned my book about a serial killer.
night and I was happy to oblige, spending a few They read it and raved about it but then they would,
minutes each day thinking up plots and adventures. wouldn’t they? These people love me – of course they’d
One day, I started writing ideas down – my written be kind. What I needed was professional opinion.
words adopting a much darker tone than the stories Nervously, I sent the first chapter to a local writer,
I shared every evening. On the odd occasion all four Jan Moran Neil, whose enthusiasm for my book
children were distracted by CBeebies at the same time, encouraged me to keep going. I devoured the feedback
I started to write a thriller. I kept it secret because I I received from Cornerstones Literary Consultancy
felt embarrassed and ashamed. With a million more and then edited in line with their assessment. Finally,
important things to do with my snippets of spare Wanda Whiteley at Manuscript Doctor urged me to

30 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 M Y PAT H T O P U B L I C AT I O N

see my characters through readers’ eyes and to work

on the novel’s strength – its humour. After more
editing, I sent You’d Look Better as A Ghost to agents
and within a month received an email from Cathryn
Summerhayes at Curtis Brown saying she’d been
crying with laughter, reading my submission on the
tube and wanted to represent me! Two weeks later I
was on a Zoom call with Miranda Jewess, publishing
director at Viper Books. Listening to Miranda talk
about Claire and my other characters – as alive in her
head as they are in mine – was an absolute highlight.
After signing a two-book deal with Viper, the screen
rights were optioned by Universal TV (a division of
Universal Studio Group) and the US rights sold to
Pamela Dorman Books.
It has taken a long time and hasn’t always been
easy but my path to publication has certainly been
interesting. And somewhere along the way, I think I
finally understood what a brilliant teacher once tried Joanna’s top tips
to explain. We get to write our own story. 1. Don’t send out first drafts.

You’d Look Better as a Ghost by Joanna Wallace is 2. Try to get feedback.

published by Viper (£9.99)
3. Never give up.

Miranda Jewess
Publishing director, Viper Books

The thing that first attracted me to Jo’s book (and humanity and pathos gave the book a depth that
what made me keep reading) was the voice. The fact was irresistible. You somehow couldn’t help rooting
that Claire was so unapologetically herself and at for a person who puts a head in a fish tank and is
ease with her abilities and flaws, dragged me into the ambivalent about whether to stop a child falling out
story. There’s a distinct style to Claire’s thoughts and of a window. I loved that it made the reader buy into
dialogue that is incredibly believable but also distinct, Claire’s moral ambiguity, and that she thinks terrible
which made it stand out from the submissions pile – things that we try to pretend we don’t secretly agree
she jumped off the page. I also loved the juxtaposition with. We’ve all got a bit of Claire in us. Above all it
of humour and heart. This was back before How To felt fresh – I hadn’t read a version of this story before,
Kill Your Family had hit the bestseller charts, so a couldn’t think of a dozen books it was similar to, I
female serial killer darkly funny thriller didn’t have couldn’t immediately recognise each character as a
a clear track record in the market. But Jo’s paring of ‘type’. I genuinely couldn’t guess the ending. And
rich observational humour with scenes of incredible ticking all those boxes is rare. It’s a hell of a book.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 31

 Breaking
the silence
Debut novelist Margaret Mayer describes the challenges
of writing the non-verbal protagonist of her novel set in a
particularly vicious episode of the 17th-century witch craze
that silenced its mainly female victims

M
y first novel, The been branded by the devil. Each witch- about this person? What three things can
Witching Tide, was hunter had his own preferred ‘pricker’, the character see in this moment? What
inspired by a handful of but sometimes local midwives would are two things they or I can hear? What’s
historical facts, and the be hired to perform this task. one thing they are sensing – either
kernel of a ‘what if ’ idea. I’d wanted to write something about touching or a feeling in themselves? In
The facts were – are – that between this witch-hunt for a long time, and this way I discovered that Martha was a
1645-7, two East Anglian witch- these facts set my ‘what if?’ mechanism healer and village midwife; the garden
hunters, motivated by both religious in motion. Say there was a midwife was her physick garden where she grew
zeal and a societally sanctioned – an older woman, coming into her many healing plants.
misogyny, sent more people to the sunset years, who’s led a quiet and I also discovered that Martha felt
gallows than all other English witch- blameless life. What if her peace were unwell. When I came to write her first
hunts of the previous two centuries shattered by a witch-hunt? What if she dialogue scene this unwellness threw up
combined. An estimated 120 lives herself was prevailed upon to do her a challenge: Martha was very reluctant
were lost. All were innocent, and the civic duty and had to search and ‘prick’ to talk. Putting her speech onto the
majority were women. her women friends? page was like getting blood out of a
Moreover, each witch-hunter Quite quickly this woman formed stone. I hoped the issue would resolve
deployed women witch-hunters – or in my imagination, presenting herself itself with the next dialogue scene, but
‘prickers’– expert midwives, who in a snapshot a bit like a polaroid: the same thing happened. And again,
carried out intimate body-searches of she was Martha, in her late forties, with the next scene. It dawned on me
accused women. They were looking for standing in a garden full of medicinal that Martha simply didn’t want to
witch marks (such as moles, freckles plants and herbs. speak. Then it became obvious that she
or birth marks) that would not bleed When I’m in the early writing stages couldn’t speak, because her voice was
when pricked with a needle or bodkin. I get to know a character through free- blocked by an obstruction on her vocal
Such marks were regarded as proof writing, just noting down details as they chords. ‘Inside her were unvoiced words
positive that the hapless woman had come to me. What three things can I see … that could not be sounded because of

32 OCTOBER 2023
 C R E AT I V E W R I T I N G

this provisional speech would speak over her, undercut and interrupt
have to be cut later. The her, construe her sign language as
wordcount rose and with it witlessness and – fatefully – that her
so did my understanding of silence means assent. In all these ways,
this character. Still, it took Martha’s voicelessness is emblematic
another year to discover that of the plight of all women silenced
she in fact communicated by witch-hunts – their words mocked
in a kind of sign language, or disbelieved, their lives ended, their
using gestures to express names left unrecorded.
herself. People closest to The book is now published, with a
her, in her inner circle, cover that bears the strapline ‘There is
knew this language and power in silence’. This is indisputably
the thing in her throat, a thick, throbbing understood it. The opposite was also true, though it remains the case that,
form that stole her voice and used her true: those emotionally furthest from for too many women, this power is hard
breath for its own. Something lived in it: Martha understood her the least won. The Witching Tide is about, and
a serpent, a worm. Since childhood it had and, importantly, were most likely to dedicated to, the East Anglian women
been there. It hurt to talk.’ dismiss her. who lost their lives in England’s deadliest
The discovery that Martha was It took me three years to finish the witch-hunt. It’s also a reflection,
voiceless brought my writing to a novel, and half of that time to find sometimes an angry one, on the vast
halt. How was I going to continue, the ‘gift’ inherent in the technical difference between being silent and
never mind complete a novel, with a challenge of depicting a non-speaking being silenced.
non-speaking protagonist? After some protagonist. Despite her best efforts,
months I decided that a temporary Martha is often misunderstood. People The Witching Tide by Margaret
solution would be to write very (men) construe Martha’s silence in Meyer is published by Phoenix
minimal dialogue for Martha, knowing different, mostly negative ways. They (£16.99)

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www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 33

 Subscribers’
news
A CARER’S VOICE
A few months back, I learnt
that I had been shortlisted
for the inaugural Curae
Prize, writes subscriber
To feature in subscribers’ Sheena Hussain.
news contact: My mentors had been
drilling into me that even
[email protected] though I am a poet first, I
should be puttering with
other genres. So early in
the year I just happened
WRITERS’ CIRCLES to stumble across the
Curae Prize. As I read on,
I thought to myself this
is right up my street so
Twenty years of to speak. Being a carer to
my Mama for nearly 10
Alpha Writers years and often feeling isolated, and not having
an outlet to talk with others perhaps in a similar
situation, I told myself that’s it I’m going to enter.
Online writing group, Alpha January is usually a long month; I decided
Writers, was started by the late to take advantage and began writing my story.
Olaf Chedzoy in May 2004 as a The competition stipulated that you could write
one-year experiment, but is about about anything. I chose to write about being a
to enter its twentieth season. The carer. Personally, I felt that there’s not enough
idea was for an international, narratives especially from those who affiliate with
English-speaking group for people being from a global majority and what caring is
who found it hard to attend a like for them, including the highs and lows and
traditional writing group for everything else in between.
whatever reason. The idea was Writing the narrative was surprisingly
ahead of its time and during the fun. I’ve always been a fan of Alan Bennett’s
Covid 19 pandemic was able to monologues – Talking Heads – so my piece
continue without interruption. took on the style of a monologue with short
The group is truly without national boundary, with members dialogue between mother and daughter
scattered over both hemispheres; at present ranging from the peppered with wry humour.
Scottish Highlands to England, Bulgaria to France and the I didn’t win, but being shortlisted is a
USA to Australia. Outgoing coordinator Christine Genovese, a massive achievement for a carer writer like me.
French resident, has been with the group since the start and has Many generous people in the industry donated
passed organisation over to Ros Kind who joined in season four prizes. Fate decided that I would walk away
whilst then living in Belgium. with a mentoring session with the lovely Kit
Each writing season consists of regular 300-word ‘challenges’, De Waal – absolutely thrilled, couldn’t have
interspersed with occasional longer pieces, set by members in been more timely.
turn and circulated to the rest of the group for feedback. The The anthology will be available in November
aim of group members is to further develop the elusive art of and is being edited by Will Dady at Renard
writing well. Of course, the end of season virtual trophy, for the Press. I want to end by saying a humongous
member’s writing securing the most votes through the year, may thank you to an incredible lady, the founder
also provide motivation. of Curae Prize, Anna Vaught – a wife, mother,
Although the group is limited to eighteen participants, there writer, editor herself. She has been a pillar of
are vacancies for the forthcoming season. If you are interested strength since we have all come together. We feel
in joining this friendly group of like-minded writing folk, take like we have found an agent in her, she always
a look at our website, www.alphawriters.net and contact us via has our interest at heart and it’s very rare to find
the online form. people who do in this industry.

34 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 COMMUNITY

DRAWING ON DARK TIMES

I am a survivor of domestic abuse, and to realise her confusion and often
including significant economic abuse, seemingly odd responses to situations.
writes subscriber Emily Trisk. The story follows widow Kate
Incredibly, my awful experience McConnell, mum to sixteen year
provided the germ of an idea for a old Lizzie, who finally wakes up to
novel, proving to me that there is the fact that her life has been made
always light at the end of even the unbearable by her abusive partner.
darkest tunnels. I had already written Kate feels unable to trust anyone.
part of the first chapter on a writing Meanwhile, just as she slowly begins
course a few years earlier and had to make plans, Lizzie is badly injured.
received extremely positive feedback Her abuser ensures that she discovers
from my tutors and fellow participants the news in a cruel manner, leading
but I simply couldn’t see where this her to question her sanity.
particular story could go, and as many Fractured Lives is gaining extremely
before me, I left it in a drawer. good reviews and I have been able to
Once I’d escaped from my promote my work through newspapers
controller and adjusted to my new and the radio, whilst being able to also
life; including accepting that I’d be discuss the signs of coercive control
renting a tiny flat for the rest of my and the help available.
days, I started to write. Fractured You can find me at Emilytrisk.
Lives is not autobiographical but my com where you can read all about newsletter (and free short story) and
own experience allowed me to get me, listen to a recent radio interview, of course find the link to Amazon for
into the mind of my main character follow the link to sign up for my my ebook, or paperback.

Reflections on the water

I was encouraged to write Even more exciting are the
my book Reflections From A many positive reviews – the
Narrowboat by friends and real pearls which show how
family who had enjoyed the my book has helped others
blogs I sent them when I through tough relationship
was away on my narrowboat experiences and losses. Such
adventure and these blogs words as ‘witty’, heartfelt’ and
formed the basis of my story, ‘inspiring’ have been good to
writes subscriber Alice White. hear and I feel proud.
I wanted to write it to show All in all a fantastic
to myself and others that experience which I highly
challenges coming from my (diagnosed late in life) recommend to you if you’ve
dyslexia could be overcome. ever doubted you could
Over the eighteen months as I wrote I enjoyed learning write a book.
more about myself and how writing about what was a I’m currently in the
difficult time in life can be cathartic. Unleashing that process of writing a second book about another more
creativity that I know has always been within me has been recent experience and I’m looking forward to presenting
so freeing too. this too.
I have enjoyed meeting all the lovely people who have Reflections From A Narrowboat is available from Amazon.
supported me along the way – not least my patient and I can be contacted at alicewhitewriter@protonmail.
encouraging editor and the talented artist who produced com or follow me on Facebook www.facebook.com/
such beautifully simple images – just as I wanted them. AliceWhiteWriterAuthor

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 35

 WRITERS’ CIRCLES

Fake
filter
Get your writing group differentiating between fact
and fiction in these exercises from Julie Phillips

ometimes it can be difficult three things about themself. Two This makes it more interesting and
to decipher what is real and should be true but one of them false. more difficult. Are there any clues
what is fake news. It’s all They take it turns to read out their in the false names and false places
too easy to end up down three statements and the rest of the that will pique their suspicions?
the rabbit hole that is social group have to try and find out which When thinking about place names
media and ‘news’ sites that may or may is the lie. How did the rest of the for settings this exercise really helps
not use the most reliable of sources. group decide what was fact and what as not everyone wants to use a real
The last thing any writer wants is was fiction? And how did the group place as a setting. Amalgamations of
to have the validity and accuracy of member reading out their statements real place names to create a fictitious
their writing questioned. It can be a try and fool their audience? Body town or city work well, for example,
minefield out there when it comes to language, facial expressions, tone of Oxbury – a combination of Oxford
researching for your writing, so with the voice and choice of words all help to and Canterbury, or Bristwall, a
help of this month’s workshop, be your hide the truth. Watch a few interviews, combination of the city of Bristol and
own fact checker today. rallies, or hustings involving a few the county of Devon. They will sound
politicians, or some crime programmes familiar to readers and add that bit of
Activity 1: It must be true – I read with suspects being interviewed and extra authenticity.
it on social media! you will see experts at deception and
Give the group a series of headlines/ denial at work! How effective were Activity 4: He said/She said/They
claims from social media. Some will be they in deceiving their audience and said or did they?
true, while others will be fabricated. Ask what methods do they use to deflect Look up some quotes attributed to
them to discuss each headline and try the heat from themselves? The classic famous people and place them on the
and work out which are true and which ‘no comment’ or seeming like they are table. Some will be well-known quotes
are made up. How did they decide? answering the question when they’re but attributed to the wrong person.
Did the headline sound plausible or actually not, even when the evidence Separate the quote from the person and
was it obvious that it was a lie? What suggests they are at fault, are good ask the group to match them together.
words or tone sent alarm bells ringing? ways to avoid telling the truth. This Did they match any incorrectly?
Being able to root out the truth from activity is useful for developing writing Ask the group to look at a couple of
lies is an essential skill for writers of skills and devices for an effective and articles in magazines and fact check
all genres, when they are researching authentic unreliable narrator as well as any quotes or facts. Which sources did
subjects pertinent to their work. This deceptive characters. they use to do their fact checking and
is important in both fiction and non- why? Double check their facts with
fiction, where accuracy and integrity are Activity 3: The camera never lies more than one source. This is excellent
king. No-one wants to read a novel with Give the group a variety of images to for growing good research habits.
historical or procedural inaccuracies, look at. Some of them will be of actual Deciphering fact from fiction isn’t
or an article with incorrect facts, as it places, and objects but others will easy, but it is an essential skill for
detracts from the authenticity of the have been photoshopped. Alongside writers to learn, particularly if they
piece. This activity could be a good way these, put some real place names on want to avoid readers contacting them
to keep a record of reputable avenues of the table with some made up ones and pointing out inaccuracies! With
research and which sources should be and see if they can decide which are the activities above, your writing
avoided, for future reference. real and which are not. Try to choose group will have a better chance of
some obscure images and names that keeping their copy factually accurate
Activity 2: I swear it’s true sound like real place names or look and error free, and will have had some
Ask each group member to write down like real places but aren’t quite right. fun in the process.

36 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

Ask the author:
Planning/plotting/
structuring your novel
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 IN THE
SPOTLIGHT:
YOUR WRITING
SOMEONE ELSE’S SHOES
POETRY Empathy is a vital quality in a writer, as Ian Ayris so wisely
pointed out in his Creative Writing Building Blocks article
Borrowed Shoes in WM August – and it evidently struck a chord with the
By Patricia Minson WM writers because this month we had a record number
of submissions and some very tough choices to make.
In someone else’s shoes I’ll tread
And journey paths that aren’t my own. In an ideal world we’d have printed many more of your
Their thoughts and dreams I’ll gently thread, submissions, so if you’ve been commended, it means you
To catch the world that they have known. sent in a really strong piece of writing. We had to pick
two, though, and I’m really proud of the quality of the
In borrowed shoes, I’ll wander on
The trails untouched by my despair.
pieces that have made it onto these pages. TJ
Their life, their hopes, a fragile dawn,
I’ll spin their world with tender care.

In someone else’s shoes, I’ll see,

The world through eyes that aren’t my own.
A chance to glimpse what life can be,
With empathy and kindness shown.

In shoes well-worn, with weary soles,

I’ll feel the weight of battles fought. • The use of rhyme in this humane, compassionate submission
I’ll see the scars, the mental tolls, is at once rousing, comforting and unifying, meaning it's a
The victories, the lessons sought. great and confident choice for a poem that makes a plea for
empathy and understanding, both a personal and on a wider
With tender steps, I’ll twist and bend, social scale. Patricia Minson’s sentiments about what binds us
Reveal the struggles deep inside. when we see through someone else’s eyes are movingly expressed
Their fears and doubts, the starts, the end, though memorable, accessible images in a poem with the
The silent tears they’ve had to hide. quality of a hymn that takes the ‘shoe’ metaphor and really runs
with it (sorry!) to make a glorious, profound statement about
I’ll dance those shoes throughout the night, the joys and troubles that are our shared experience, and that
To melodies of brighter days. should unite rather than divide us.
Re-sole those shoes, ring in the light
Where better memories hold sway.
Highly commended
For in this realm of shared embrace, Terry Baldock; Gillian Brown; Next month, look
The ties that bind, profound and deep. Michael Callaghan; out for the pieces
Through understanding’s gentle grace, Lee Chidlow; Fay Dickinson; we’ve selected from
I’ll sow the change we all should seek. Liz Gwinnell; Deborah Hugill; the submisssions call
Sheena Hussain; Denny Jace; in the September
So let us march in unity, Simone Jones; Chris Morris; issue on the theme of
With hearts unveiled, reborn anew. Clare Reeve; Matthew Roberts; ‘Finding a Friend’.
In someone else’s shoes, we’ll see Gill Wilson
The beauty of inclusive views.

38 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 WRITING LIFE

PROSE
All About Me?
By Sonia Lomo

I was always jealous of you, the way you could just But you didn’t know about that.
blend in. Standing out like a lump of coal on a blanket Back then I thought how lucky you were to be a part
of snow wasn’t much fun. of the crowd because it’s only outsiders who get bullied,
You didn’t know how hard it was just to walk down ignored, or made to feel unacceptable, isn’t it?
the street. Imagine feeling like everyone’s eyes were on Back then it was all about me.
you all the time, every movement under scrutiny. It was You would never have guessed that would you?!
paralysing. Were you ever too scared to do anything in But that not seeing, not caring, self-centred thing
case you did it wrong? is part of a teenager’s makeup. We were as hard on
Spent too much time wishing I could shrug off my ourselves as we were on each other. I never wanted to
skin like an old overcoat and put on a new one, one put myself in your shoes just like you didn’t want to
that was just like yours. That would have stopped all walk a single step in mine. But now that we’re older
the suffering, wouldn’t it? I mean, all those times you we recognise that everyone feels pain, that we all make
touched my skin to ‘see if it rubs off,’ did you think mistakes, don’t we?
about the pain it caused? I wish we could sit down together and talk. Would
I envied that way of talking you had, how words you want to? I mean, how are you? What are you up to
always came so easily to you. I wondered how you did now? I know that being ‘on the inside’ didn’t protect you
that. Was it some kind of magic trick? If so, I’ve yet from pain. I know now that you couldn’t talk your way
to master it. Too shy, too quiet the nice people said. out of suffering. Perhaps our school days weren’t the best
Weirdo, freak, that’s what other people said. of our lives, but we got through them. We’re still here,
You couldn’t see that desperate scramble as my brain still holding on. Whatever time’s done to us, I hope we’d
searched for something to say. You didn’t care how be kinder to each other. And kinder to ourselves.
embarrassing it was to stand there silent when words Sorry if this all sounds too much like ‘I feel your pain,
wouldn’t come. don’t you want to feel mine’. That’s probably the last
Spent too much time longing for a new personality thing you want.
because being funny and talkative like you would have I really do hope you’re OK though.
solved all my problems obviously.

• This intimate first-person piece from Sonia Lomo, a direct address to an unseen person from the narrator’s
past, is suffused with memorable images and finely crafted language: Standing out like a lump of coal on a
blanket of snow and wishing I could shrug off my skin like an old overcoat are just two examples of writing that
really sings. But what is most striking and moving about this piece is the way it shows the narrator taking the
pain they experienced and turning it into a way of understanding their tormentor and offering them a solace
that was never extended to them. This nuanced, graceful piece, that acknowledges that empathy comes in part
from understanding suffering, feels raw and personal yet has been carefully shaped and structured. The real arc
in this story is one that takes the narrator from teenage self-obsession to a compassionate adult awareness: the
ability to walk in someone else’s shoes even when it’s an uncomfortable fit.

WE WANT YOUR WRITING

(and we’ll pay you for it!)
Each month in WM, we feature creative writing by our but we’d like you to convey an emotion of some kind,
subscribers. Selected pieces will be published in WM and we either from your own PoV or that of a character, and
pay £50 for prose and £25 for poetry, and provide a mini- make us feel it too!
critique explaining what made the pieces stand out to us. Submit prose (fiction and creative non-fiction) up to
For this month’s call, we’ve taken a cue from the 500 words and poems up to 40 lines to wmsubmissions@
brilliant piece by JoJo Moyes on p10, and we’re inviting warnersgroup.co.uk. Include your subscriber number.
you to ‘Focus on Feelings’. It can be any feeling you like The closing date is 30 September.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 39

 The world of writing
What goes through a writer’s brain?
Readers’ letters and dispatches from the wide world of writing.

S TA R L E T T E R
LOAD OF PALE ROBOT COPY

BANKERS As a new subscriber, and a first-time published author, the help

and advice from the community of writers who contribute to your
magazine is truly brilliant. I only wish I had taken your magazine a
Given the recent controversy over Coutts few years earlier.
bank closing Nigel Farage’s account, a What puzzles me is how these writers manage to experience life
letter by Spike Milligan dated 4 February themselves. Many are on computers all day, home in time for a walk with
1968 reminds us that the failed politician the dog (dogs), then back to creating some amazing articles on an evening.
is not the first famous person to take And the debate about ‘AI’ intrigued me. My own book Blast Off –
issue with the private bank. Run With the Wolves has taken two years to complete. The plot, the
‘How dare you remind me about this drama, the tight corners, the travel. Buzzing about in my head for the
trivial overdraft when my Post Office last ten years. Not to mention those ‘enchanted evenings meeting a
Savings have reached £17.8.0? I must stranger across a crowded room’. The raised heartbeat, the pulsing in
warn you that once a month I put all my my head. Much of my book contains fictionalized versions of my own
overdrafts into a hat and the one that experiences – and how can AI capture that?
comes out first, I clear. If you are not AI is here to stay. It will become stronger and stronger, and more and
careful, I won’t even put your name in more dangerous. But can it compete with the passion and reality of a
the hat.’ GD real story produced by professional writers? Let’s write ‘great books’ and
show those narrow minds obsessed by technology that AI
has no place amongst us.
BRAVING THE MAGIC DAVID KELZMAN
Ian Ayris wrote his article ‘Writing with Harrogate, North Yorkshire
courage’ (WM July) for me, I’m sure of it.
The star letter each month earns a copy of the Writers’ &
I haven’t written, or even tried to
Artists’ Yearbook 2023, courtesy of Bloomsbury. Write to
write, for months, maybe even years. [email protected].
This morning I decided to just sit and
write, write anything, for half an hour.
Procrastinating as usual I finally opened DAYDREAM BELIEVER
my July issue of Writing Magazine to find Leafing through unread issues of Writing Magazine, I smiled when I
an exercise or competition I could use as a came to Lynne Hackles’ piece ‘Daydream Believer’ (WM Aug 2022),
prompt to unfreeze my brain. Ian’s article on the value to be gained from daydreaming. I did envy her for her
jumped out and lightly slapped me with Junior School teacher Miss Tipper, who used to allow her to daydream
just the right messages: ‘In writing there during lessons. It reminded me of my form teacher’s somewhat
is no wrong; words are yours to play with; scathing comment in my end of term report, that ‘Alison spends much
the first draft is a fearless draft ... perfectly of her time in her own world’. Even at the tender age of eleven, I
imperfect’ and best of all ‘A writer is a knew that this was not intended as a compliment. If only that teacher
beautiful, magical being simply playing had been of like mind, she would have recognised the importance
with words.’ This last is now written out of daydreaming. It’s where your imagination and your creativity
and hanging on the wall above my desk. I take flight. You can still be productive and have focus when you’re
have written this letter and am now going daydreaming. Where would us writers be without it? It’s where ideas
to write a story about a magical being! are born, characters and whole worlds are created, plots are devised
Thank you WM and Ian for the perfect and plot wrinkles are ironed out. Without the ability to daydream, life
prompt and prod. I’m now excited to play would be very drab indeed – and so would my writing. We should all
and have fun with words rather than being be encouraged to daydream, whatever our age. So, thank you to the
fearful of not being able to write well Miss Tippers of this world for nurturing creative young minds – quite
enough. Here’s to courage! possibly the writers of tomorrow. Happy daydreaming!
RUTH TURNER ALISON NUORTO
Slough, Berkshire Westbourne, Bournemouth

40 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 COMMUNITY

BLASTED LANGUAGE! END IN SIGHT?

A miserable, rainy Saturday cheered Having been a writer (published) for many years, I find myself and many,
up the minute my copy of Writing many others I’ve spoken with getting thoroughly frustrated over the latest
Magazine dropped through the letter trend of leaving the reader, viewer, listener, high and dry as regards what I
box. I sat down to enjoy the contents, class as a proper ending.
turning first, as always, to the poetry As well as reading I also listen both to audio books and the BBC Radio
pages. 4 Extra channel, the latter encouraging new younger writers which is
The word ‘blast’ in the second commendable, however this trend of unfinished endings does nothing for
stanza of Brian Vincent’s superb the writer, and if anything leaves the listener/reader feeling cheated. For
‘Bertie Shakespeare’ (Dirty Bertie, example, I have just watched the whole BBC series We Hunt Together which
WM Sept) made me laugh out loud was indeed thrilling and intriguing, however the ending left one asking
at a remembered incident from my did the main character escape or didn’t she? Yes I enjoyed the plot, but felt
schooldays. annoyed at the ending. I don’t like having to guess!
Each month, the top junior class – Most of my friends feel the same way as regards short stories and
today’s year 6, were given an English indeed novels, in that it’s not a clever twist at all by the author but merely
test. The headmaster, a daunting man, annoying and it comes across almost as if the author has got tired of the
marked the essays. script/novel and just chucked the towel in.
That month, my story involved a Be it a romance or a drama, readers like a decent ending and dislike
character working on a construction having wasted their time reading/listening only to be none the wiser as to
site. Having dropped a hammer he the outcome. Arguably some TV series do follow this pattern but that is
exclaimed, ‘Blast!’ – an expletive I because a follow on series is likely which is understandable, but stories that
thought both appropriate and in leave you scratching your head – no!
character. KARL SHERIDAN
The headmaster, however, was Holme upon Spalding Moor, East Riding of Yorkshire
not impressed. When my essay was
returned, I was mortified to see a
huge double red ink circle around the
STAYCATION BLUES
word with a line leading to the margin I’m a writer. I work from home, writes Gary Dalkin. Which means if God
where in block capitals he had written, had intended me to ever go in a supermarket again, we wouldn’t have the
‘PLEASE DO NOT USE SWEAR internet. Recently I logged onto Sainsbury’s to place a home delivery order,
WORDS IN YOUR WRITING.’ and read: ‘We’ve got you covered on staycation & at home … Have your
Red circled comments haunt me to groceries delivered to nearly any UK address.’ Sainsbury’s – if ‘staycation’
this day! means anything, it is staying at home.
SHIRLEY ANNE COOK Now I’ll explain why I loathe the word.
Denham, Bucks. First, it is unnecessary – Brits have holidays. Next, it’s an ugly portmanteau.
Worse, it’s one which has recently changed meaning and taken on an air of

GUT REACTION
snobbery. Finally, in British English it’s linguistic gibberish.
Let’s take the earlier points as given and get to the snobbery and gibberish.
The portmanteau was coined in the US to mean when you ‘stay’ at home on
If you search for The Gutenberg your ‘vacation’ (stay-cation). And this was originally how it was used in the
Parenthesis: The Age of Print and Its UK. But since the pandemic, staycation has come to mean a holiday where
Lessons for the Age of the Internet by Jeff you don’t ‘stay’ at home, but go away, though ‘only’ within the UK – so
Jarvis, a serious academic exploration of completely reversing the original meaning and making nonsense of the ‘stay’
the history of print and a consideration part. The snobbery is in the implication that it’s only a proper holiday if you
of where we may be headed in our need a passport, that to holiday here is a second-rate compromise dictated by
digital future, then Amazon’s second recent circumstances (and really only fit for poor people), which requires a
result, Gut Health Reset: An Easy 4-Week new word to describe it.
Plan to Help Beginners Restore Their In British English we have never used vacation to mean a holiday, though
Mind and Microbiome, Lose Weight, and to vacate suggests going elsewhere. So in British English staycation’s original
Relieve Anxiety by Kara Holmes, may meaning of a vacation at home is ludicrous. To stay while vacating would
in itself reveal more than you wish to be a Schrodinger’s Holiday. While in its new use, a holiday where you do
contemplate about the mindless literalism go somewhere, staycation is rendered even more absurd by the ‘stay’ part.
of the algorithms driving our brave new Whichever way you look at it, staycation is an ill-formed, linguistically
publishing world. GD deranged oxymoron. Now I think I need a holiday.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 41

FICTION FOCUS

Behind the cover

You write your book, but how much editorial input will you rely on to make sure
it’s as good as it can be? Margaret James looks at some of the options.

ho writes your books? too. A conscientious editor should give you advice
What a ridiculous question. Your name on technique, presentation and structuring, as well
is (or will be) on the cover. So you write as on the basic elements of plotting, characterisation,
them, obviously. dialogue and narrative viewpoint.
Or maybe it’s not so obvious, after all? What if you can’t afford to pay a script doctor or
Some authors are happy to send their work out into freelance editor? A local writing group which includes
the world unread by anyone but themselves. These published novelists among its members will probably
days, self-publishing makes this approach perfectly be happy to workshop your novel (or some of it) for
feasible, and in the past even commercial publishers free, as will alpha and beta readers if these people are
were basically printers whose authors’ work had little or also your friends. But don’t forget to repay any such
no editorial input from them. favours by offering to do some alpha (commenting
But other present-day authors would never dream of on a rough first draft, perhaps) or beta (offering
submitting their books to public scrutiny until they’ve constructive criticism on a more polished/revised/
been seen by a host of alpha and beta readers, freelance reworked version) reading yourself in return.
editors, script doctors or literary consultants, then No reputable literary agents or traditional commercial
reworked, revised or even completely rewritten. publishers ever charge reading or other fees. But there
What lies between these two extremes and ranges are plenty of subsidy publishers out there offering a
of options? range of deals, all involving some financial investment
Here are some points to bear in mind. from the author. Some subsidy publishers are sharks. But
It’s probably wise to ask at least one other person to others are legitimate companies which have co-produced
read your book before it’s self-published, even if this is some brilliant books.
just to flag up the inevitable typos and/or to proof the Authorship can be a very lonely occupation.
finished product. Do you hate being and/or working alone? Maybe
Publishing is an unregulated industry, meaning you could try to find a co-author? Nicci French (a
anyone can set up in business as a freelance editor, husband-and-wife team) and Ellie Curzon (a couple
consultant or whatever. So always check out an editor’s of literary friends) are just two of many novel-writing
credentials and ask to see some feedback from clients partnerships. Still on the subject of team work, look at
before parting with hundreds of pounds in exchange the acknowledgements pages of many published novels,
for possibly unhelpful non-advice. and you’ll realise authors often thank a whole spectrum
Good freelance editors can certainly help authors of people who’ve helped develop the book.
take their writing to the next level, giving it a better You’ll probably have noticed the current debates on
chance of success in a hugely overcrowded market artificial intelligence and how much it should be used
place. They’re often former industry professionals in the creative industries.
who have working relationships with literary agents I had a chat with well-published romantic novelist Jeevani
and publishers, Sometimes, they act as talent scouts, Charika about the growing reliance on AI in a whole range

42 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 Five quick
of applications. I asked if she thought robots would
ever be capable of writing compelling fiction. questions
‘As a genre, romantic fiction is often derided with Kim Nash
(especially by people who don’t read it) for being
predictable,’ says Jeevani. ‘Recently, there was an
item on the BBC about the threat AI poses to genre
fiction, and romantic fiction was particularly singled
out. But the key to successful writing in this genre
isn’t in the plot, it’s in making readers feel the story –
and writing that evokes emotion is hard to do.
‘When I get emails from my own readers, they’re
never about the plot. They’re always about my
characters. People are interested in people, and
the best, most memorable books have memorable
characters. The experiences and observations that 1. When and where did your journey as an author begin?
stand out for readers are those that are slightly Since I was a little girl, I’ve always wanted to write a book. I was
out of the ordinary, often pulled from the author’s (and still am) an avid reader. When my darling mom passed
own lived experience. Then readers think: I do away in 2006, I found it cathartic to write about how I felt and
that! I thought I was the only one! what I thought she’d say to me from heaven. One day, years
‘AI can learn very fast, so it will go on later, it hit me that this book was never going to write itself, so
improving at an astonishing rate. But life I’d better get on with it! I made it a goal and a priority. My first
changes at an astonishing rate, too. AI works publishing contract was signed just after my fiftieth birthday.
by absorbing everything that was written before
and reorganising it in a likely way. It can’t say 2. What is (or has been) your proudest moment as a writer?
anything new. It doesn’t, for example, have much When I got my first reader email from a stranger, telling me
data (beyond stereotypical representations) on the how my first book Amazing Grace had helped her through her
lives of people from minority groups. The work of grief after she’d lost her own mother, and that my book had
an author who writes accurate, non-stereotypical given her some hope for the future. It meant the world to me.
representations of minority groups will always feel
more real to readers. 3. Who or what is your greatest inspiration?
‘The main advantages we have as human I am surrounded by inspirational people every day, from the
writers is our lived experience, our ability to authors that I read, to those I work with, to the editorial
imagine things, and to make connections that staff who help us to polish our words, along with the ‘hidden
haven’t been thought of before. We can, and staff ’ that help create a finished book product and then carry
should, lean into that. it through the marketing and publicity journey, too.
‘AI is here to stay. It’s a very useful tool. It’s
brilliant at writing advertising copy. So, as authors, 4. What is coming up next for you, fiction-wise?
why don’t we use it as a tool, but also concentrate The first in a three book series with Boldwood was published
on amplifying what’s unique about us?’ in March. It’s set in the fictional seaside town of Driftwood
Solo or team effort, independent or commercial Bay in Cornwall, and each book follows a different
publishing for your novel? We’ll look at how various character’s journey from the same location. Book 2 will be
options could work for you in the next issue. published later in 2023 and Book 3 in spring 2024.

5. What is your top tip for writers still on the journey

NOW TRY THIS towards publication?
Never give up! You just need your book to be the right book
• Some authors go on their publication journey which gets discovered by the right person at the right time.
completely alone. It’s a rollercoaster of a journey from writing that very first
• Some seek validation from a variety of friends word all the way through the process. But never compare
and relations before letting strangers read a yourself to others. It’s your journey. Recently, I saw a meme
word of their work. that had two plants talking, and one said to the other, ‘But
• Some prefer to go straight to the professionals. your flowers are blooming and mine aren’t.’ The other flower
• As a novelist, how much pre-publication input replied, ‘That’s because you’re a different plant.’ It hit home
do you want? Or indeed need? with me. Comparison really is the thief of joy.
Website: www.kimthebookworm.co.uk

OCTOBER 2023 43
 IN IT TO
WIN IT! With the Writing Magazine Children’s
Book Prize now open for entries,
Amy Sparkes looks at how you can
make your chapter book stand out

he Writing Magazine Children’s Book Prize is up Returnability

and running! The competition has helped support, As chapter books usually work better in series rather than
nurture and encourage emerging writers, as well as standalone books, it’s important to consider why your young
kickstart some careers. Previous winners have gone on readers will return to read further adventures featuring your
to sign publishing deals or sign with agents, and we character or their world.
are delighted to see that the book prize is making a difference. Sometimes the characters are what draws the reader back.
The prize has both a picture book and chapter book Perhaps you have an unusual or intriguing protagonist, or
category. This month we take a look at creating a prize- antagonist. Perhaps your reader loves the playful banter of two
winning chapter book. or more key characters. If you’re going for a human child, make
sure they feel interesting in some way, whether this is because of
Creativity relatability, or a specific quality they have.
One of the most wonderful things about chapter books is their If the world you have created is fun and colourful, your reader
scope and flexibility. They cover a wide age range (roughly for will want to return to hang out there again. What have you
readers aged five to nine) and can appear in many different offered in your setting? A contemporary, real-life setting can
formats. For example, you could have a diary format with no have a returnability draw, but it is often coupled with strong,
chapters at all. Or a heavily illustrated guidebook. Or a book original characters, or is designed to appeal to a niche readership.
for younger readers with thicker, glossier pages and two-tone For example, a chapter book series centred around gymnastics
colours. Or a 10,000-word book with black and white line or football will be likely to appeal predominantly to children
drawings which looks more like a short novel. engaged or interested in those activities, although they can hold
There are many different options. How could you creatively wider appeal with good characterisation and strong writing.
develop your idea to make it accessible and entertaining for
young readers? Think outside the box rather than reach for Skilful writing
the first idea you have. Check to see whether this idea already Once you have your creative idea, you know who your target
exists, if you can. And if it does, and you still love your idea, readership is, why your story is relatable, and why readers will
think about how you can stretch it or develop it to give it a return to your series... you do actually have to write the text.
different, original spin. Maybe try changing one aspect, such as Know your tone and genre. This will help ensure that your
the setting, or the protagonist. writing feels consistent and help the reader feel confident in
your storytelling. Choose vocabulary, pace and emotions which
Relatability match the tone and feel of the story.
It’s important to keep in mind your target readership. Have a For example, if you’re writing an adventure, hit the opening
clear idea who your story is aimed at, as this will help you with line with action, give us a gripping, fast-paced opening
word count, vocabulary, theme and content. Read through a chapter and end with a dramatic cliffhanger. If you’re writing
selection of chapter books to get a sense of subject matter and something more emotional or poignant, allow opportunities
think about why the themes and issues in the stories relate for your characters to have downtime and reflect, and end with
to young readers. Consider the stories you’re writing and be a beautiful, emotional moment. If you’re writing something
sure why you think they will appeal. Not only should this be humorous, start with a big laugh, end with a bigger laugh, and
apparent in the writing, but it also helps when you come to have humour running through the story like lifeblood.
pitching your story to agents or editors. Openings and closings are particularly important, so pay
It also helps to think about which end of the chapter book attention to these. Your first paragraph should usually tell the
readership they are pitched at. ‘Younger’ books often have more reader a lot about your story, such as style, tone, genre and
illustrations and narrower spines due to the lower word counts. some kind of information (for example who the main character
Publishers often mark up either 5+ or 7+ on the back of their is, or where the story is set).
books to help guide readers, but this isn’t always the case. Remember, with the Writing Magazine Children’s Book Prize,

44 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 WRITING FOR CHILDREN

your opening chapter really has to shine. This is what we will • Picture book category: https://www.writers-online.co.uk/
be reading to decide if we want to read more. Think about how writing-competitions/writing-magazine-childrens-book-
you can convince us that we need to! prize-2023-picture-book/
Good luck if you’re entering the chapter book category of the • Chapter book category: www.writers-online.co.uk/
Writing Magazine Children’s Book Prize. We are looking forward writing-competitions/writing-magazine-childrens-book-
to reading your entries! prize-2023-chapter-book/
If you cannot submit online, please send entries to: Writing
How does it work? Magazine Children’s Book Prize, Writing Competitions, Writing
As before, there are two categories (one for picture books, Magazine, Warners Group Publications Ltd, West Street,
one for chapter books) and you are welcome to enter just one Bourne, Lincs PE10 9PH. Entry fee is £7.50 (£6 for subscribers)
category or both. PER CATEGORY.

How to write a
Picture Book category
The award is open to all unpublished and unagented writers.
You are eligible to enter if you have been self-published. We
are not looking for illustrated stories or accompanying sample
illustrations – please just send the text. Illustration notes are fine.
Entries need to reflect traditional published picture book texts
picture book
which do not rely on pop-ups, tabs or touch to help deliver the
story. The story should be fiction and can be rhyming or non- WRITERS
ONLINE
rhyming. The word count should be no more than 800 words.
Your story can be split up into spreads (we suggest 12 spreads)
WEBINAR
S ER IES
or be one continuous piece of writing. For a format suggestion,
please look at www.storygodmother.co.uk/index.php/resources/

Chapter Book category

This category is also open to all unpublished and unagented
writers. Self-published books are fine. Entries need to be the
opening chapter only, which should be no longer than 1,000
words. Word counts will be checked, so please make sure it is
under this threshold.
If your story is longlisted, you will be asked to send in the next
two chapters. If your story is shortlisted, you will need to send
the whole book – which should be under 15,000 words. There
is a very short space of time between longlists and shortlists
being announced and needing to receive the relevant text. So
SIGN UP TODAY

www.writers-online.
please make sure you have written and finished the ENTIRE
BOOK before submitting your entry.

What are the prizes?

First place: The winner will be offered a consultation with top
co.uk/webinars
children’s agent Julia Churchill, a year’s subscription to Writing
Established in 1994, we are a literary
Magazine and £200.
Second place: The runner-up receives a picture book consultancy service providing advice and
or chapter book critique by Amy Sparkes through Writing training to children’s writers. We offer:
Magazine Creative Writing Courses, a subscription to Writing • Manuscript appraisals
Magazine and £50.
Third place: The second runner-up will win a year’s
• Consultancy services
subscription to Writing Magazine. • Courses and workshops
We work alongside children’s publisher Wacky Bee Books.
How can I enter?
Riverbank House, 1 Putney Bridge Approach, London SW6 3JD
Submission window for the prize is open until 31 October 2023.
For more information on the book prizes, check out https:// T 020 7801 6300 E [email protected]
www.writers-online.co.uk/writing-competitions
You can enter online at:
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www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 45
 /threedays
https://writ.rs
TORY
TO READ THE S
want to hear.
Following this difficult conversation
with her mother, Beatrice follows Clem

Seasonal
out to the barn where he has made an
apartment for himself. This is where the
bad decisions really begin to kick in.
The first bad decision is when Beatrice

affect suggests to Clem that they go into

town. Don’t forget, at this point they
have both consumed alcohol and pot.
Driving Clem’s truck into town
might have been a stupid plan, but
then they decide to go one better and
come up with an even more foolhardy
scheme. They will instead ride the
old family horse, Humbletonian, into
town. The reader already has a sense
that something bad is going to happen,
but now the sense of something
unpleasant looming starts to coalesce
around the horse.
Using a short fiction example We find out from Clem that the
horse has never been on the road
where the seasonal setting is an
before, which is not encouraging,
integral part of the tragic outcome, and as an eighteen-wheel truck
Helen Walters looks at using goes past, Beatrice can feel herself
seasons in your short stories being buffeted to one side by the
turbulence. Against the odds, they
arrive safely in town and tie the horse
up in the place meant for shopping
his month’s story, ‘Three The uneasy picture is added to by the trolleys outside Walmart. It is when
Days’ by Samantha presence of matted grass, trash and a they come out of the shop to find
Hunt, really puts the dead raccoon. the horse gone, that the final tragedy
reader through the We also find out that, although starts to feel inevitable.
wringer emotionally. As Beatrice is heading for her family There’s a very clever example of
always, you will get the most out of home, it is not likely to be a joyous foreshadowing in this story. Notice
this masterclass if you read the story for homecoming. Her father, we learn, that when Beatrice is reminiscing
yourself (https://writ.rs/threedays), has died, and the family farm has about spending time on the farm with
however I should warn you that there been pretty much given up on by her her father as a child, she recounts
are some difficult themes and upsetting parents some time ago. an incident where he inspects an
scenes in it. It is a true masterclass in Once Beatrice is home, the narrative irrigation pipe that is leaking. He
the art of building up a sense of tension starts to build up a suggestion of loss of could do something about it, but
and foreboding, and then delivering on control. Beatrice and her mother and doesn’t. Fast forward to the end
the promise at the end. brother are all drunk, and her brother, of the story, and the frozen water
As you read the story there are a Clem, goes off to smoke pot. The lack on which Humbletonian becomes
number of moments when a strong of good judgement caused by this will stranded, is surmised by Beatrice to
feeling of apprehension is triggered. turn out to be crucial to the story. be due to a water pipe being broken
Let’s have a look at some of those Death is an important theme in by a bulldozer. Add to this the many
moments. Right from the start we the story, and, for Beatrice, coming references throughout the text to
have our main character, Beatrice, to terms with something that her ice cracking underfoot, and we have
walking along a road. Notice how we mother and brother know about her some fairly big clues where the story
immediately get a sense of jeopardy father’s death, which she does not, is going.
from the fact that she is walking is pivotal. Notice where she tells us Because of the word limitations of
along the highway with only the that she knows her mother is trying this column, I’ve only been able to
guardrail between her and the traffic. to tell her something she doesn’t concentrate on the main thread of

46 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 MASTERCLASS

the story. But there are lots of other And what might be hidden under But what other signs of spring might
memorable aspects that I’d like to draw the fallen leaves as your character find their way into your story and
your attention to. There’s the nice detail crunches through them? And what influence your plot or help create a
of the Easter decorations still being up about that bonfire? Could it be used mood? Blossom on trees reminds us
even though it is Thanksgiving. Then to dispose of evidence? of sweet fruit to come. Birds, bees
there’s the explanation of how Beatrice’s On a gentler note, maybe darker and butterflies fill the air. The days
mother turns myths into ‘marketable evenings just make people want to are getting longer and warmer and
packages’, and the description of how stay at home and keep cosy. Could everyone is itching to spring clean their
Beatrice feels when she takes a turn on this lead to a romance? Perhaps the house and their life.
Clem’s virtual reality computer game. bonfire will be used for something as Elsewhere in the animal kingdom,
I’m not going to dwell on the innocent as toasting marshmallows there are frogspawn to watch turning
very sad ending to the story. I think and baking potatoes. into frogs, hedgehogs coming out of
it speaks for itself. But it’s a useful hibernation and swallows migrating
exercise to reflect on how cleverly the WINTER back to their nests. If your character
writer has delivered on the promise Winter is cold. But there are different likes being out in the natural world
of disaster that had been building up sorts of cold and different ways your there’s no better time to set your story.
throughout the story, and provided an characters can react to it. Why not have your character using
ending with emotional punch. Maybe they enjoy the fresh crisp up all their pent-up energy from a
air in the morning, and the chance to winter spent cosied up on the sofa
A STORY FOR ALL SEASONS wear their thickest, cosiest sweaters and by going on a new adventure? Or
The season in which this month’s story stomp wellington-booted feet through perhaps while they’re spring cleaning
is set turns out to be significant to the muddy puddles. Or maybe they hate their house, they’ll find a long-lost
plot. Would the story have worked the bone-aching cold of their bedroom item that will set them on a journey
as well if it had been set in the bright and hesitate to even get out of bed, let of discovery.
heat of a summer day? Or an April alone out of the house.
morning bursting with the promise of Snow offers a whole host of other SUMMER
spring? It wouldn’t. Partly because ice possibilities. Snowball fights, sledging Lazy days on the beach, long evenings
on the ground forms a fundamental and building snowmen might sipping wine in the garden, the
plot point. But also, because being set find your characters in interesting excitement of fetes, carnivals and
in November helps set the mood for situations. Maybe they accidentally holidays. How could you bring these
the story. throw a snowball and it breaks seasonal events into your story? Will
We’re going to look at aspects of all something or hits someone. What giving your character time to relax and
the seasons that could either form plot could this lead to? Or perhaps your have fun bring out the best in them?
points or help create a mood. character gets involved in a snowman- Alternatively, summer might have a
building competition, or a sponsored negative effect. You could throw hay
AUTUMN sledge ride. Like autumn leaves, snow fever, sunburn and dehydration at your
What’s the first thing you think of can hide things on the ground. But character and see how they react. Or
when you think of autumn? For me what happens when the snow melts have them spending sweltering days in
it’s the blazing colours of the leaves on away to reveal hidden secrets? the office dreaming of air-conditioning.
the trees before they fall. The blend Winter also includes Christmas, If they’re the sort of person who doesn’t
of oranges, reds and yellows makes which can have a huge impact on your enjoy hot weather, you could really
everywhere look completely different character’s mood. They might be full make them suffer.
than other times of year. Autumn has of joy and anticipation. But equally, And then there are events that
a winding down feel to it. The harvest they might be full of dread because happen every summer, like Wimbledon,
is gathered in, birds migrate back to they know their finances won’t stretch that you could use as a backdrop to
warmer climes and everyone takes a or they really don’t want to spend any your story. Anyone for tennis and a
deep breath before we hit Christmas more time than they have to with the large helping of strawberries and cream?
and all that entails. Add in the smell in-laws from hell. Of course, depending on where
of bonfires and the shortening of days, you are in the world, the details
and you are well on the way to nailing SPRING that distinguish the passing seasons
the mood. Spring is a time for new beginnings. will be different. But, wherever you
But what plot points could this There are some obvious ones like are, see if you can use the specific
facilitate? Longer evenings might lead baby animals in the fields and the characteristics of a chosen season to
to nefarious deeds that can best be green shoots of plants starting to bring your work to life and add an
carried out in the hours of darkness. come through. extra element to the plot.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 47

 A hopeful
outlook

A poem where childhood joie de vivre soothes adult fears charms Alison Chisholm

hen sonnets are mentioned, people The poem started life as an exercise during a poetry
expect to encounter poems of day, proving the point – if proof were needed – that fine
romantic love, lyrical descriptions, pieces of writing can emerge from exercises. On this
gentle philosophising or emotion- occasion, sonnets had been read, and then the participants
led musing. These are, indeed, the were challenged to write one. For Susan this was an easy
traditional subjects poets have selected for the form; but task, or rather, easier than most of the poems she writes.
you can write a sonnet about anything under the sun. Her bonus was that there was only a little revision to do,
Susan Clark of Holmfirth, West Yorkshire found with just a few tweaks needed after the first read through.
the ideal subject in her grandson, and the first two The quantity of revision required in the creation of a
quatrains of her Shakespearean sonnet describe a lively poem is always an interesting factor. Sometimes a poem
little boy whose biggest care is being penned in the needs to be tweaked so much that it feels like a rather
classroom for the day. ragged patchwork quilt, with lumps and bumps in
The mood changes as we move into the third quatrain. evidence all over its surface. But a poem that needs little
This takes us out of the child’s world and into the adult’s, revision can be just as worrying. If you accept the theory
with the weight of broadcast news casting its disturbing that all first drafts need refining and improving, you have
shadows. But the poem comes full circle, and the final to be wary of the one that seems to require none.
couplet returns to the child’s ebullience, symbolising It’s one of those topics about which the poet has to
innocence and hope, assuring his grandmother that the trust their instinct, and that’s much easier to do in theory
world is a good place. than it is in practice. Even being able to acknowledge

48 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 P O E T RY W O R K S H O P

that a poem is complete can be quite a challenge. When metrically unstressed syllable.
you add to the equation the fact that poems can be over- It’s important not to lose sight of the fact that Susan
revised, so that all the life is steamrollered out of them, might have included these slight awkwardnesses of metre
the delicacy of the balancing act is clear. in order to give a more disturbing undertone to the piece;
Susan has a theory about the way this poem, which is but if she decides to harmonise the metre, it can be done
so neatly balanced, flowed and worked. She says: ‘One quite simply without altering the sense of the poem.
possible reason for this ease of writing could be the (well The two lines that describe the delivery of the news are
recognised) way the sonnet structure supports a poet in an object lesson in the use of compression of language,
shaping their feelings into choate form. However, this creating a rich picture in very few words. The RP accent
poem is also completely truthful about something that adds gravitas even before the message has been delivered.
had recently happened and had been recently felt – and The known nightmares suggest a seen-it-all-before world
I’ve often thought that truth does help energise and weariness. The catalogue of mass corruption, climate change
empower one when it comes to writing poetry with and war has been carefully chosen for the monotonous
more confidence!’ regularity with which these problems arise. Together, these
It would certainly be difficult to fake a truth that lines embed anxiety in the narrator’s mind.
could both energise and empower, and truth is shown Returning to the child at the end sows strong seeds
in the simplicity of the images used. There are clear, of hope to dissipate all the anxiety. His joie de vivre
straightforward pictures of the friendly football game, is infectious. Now the narrator has a firm reason for
the breakfast scene, and the immediacy of the child’s not despairing. And in a clever twist, the penultimate
chatting, prattling, singing. The first hint of complexity phrase of the poem could apply to either character – or
occurs in the eighth line, that sums up these images. preferably both. Child and grandparent are united in
The eye is drawn to unanxious, where the unusual being In love with life. That’s one of those rare subject-
word choice gives a moment’s pause for thought. and verb-less sentences that is both powerful and effective.
(The negative of anxious is a far more thought- It is a summing-up and a mantra. Maybe it’s something
provoking word than something more ordinary, such as we should all chant.
troublesome, would have been). A Grandmother’s Resolution is written with clarity and
Susan has kept the dynamics of the rhyme pattern and panache – a sonnet that flows and charms. This is a poem
yet introduced some pleasing variety by including slant to read, re-read, then read again, for its perspective and
rhymes that are very close to full rhymes. The sound vision: and simply to make readers feel the joy emanating
effects of time / fine, cloud / now and all / war are near from it.
enough in sound to read as full rhymes while still having
an individual touch.
There are rather more variants in the metre, which pose
a question for the reader. Are these variants appearing to A
produce a disturbing and unexpected effect, or would the
poem be stronger with strict adherence to the sonnet’s
GRANDMOTHER’S
requirement of iambic pentameter?
It would be a simple job to adjust the lines to fit more
RESOLUTION
closely into iambic pentameter. The second line is only I watch him run into the school, to play
lacking an unstressed syllable at its start, so beginning football with his friends, before the bell
with at would correct the foot in a moment. The same sits them all down at tables for the day.
issue could be amended in the seventh line, by beginning He runs, glad hearted. All his world is well.
the line as a new sentence commencing He’s after ending He’d slurped his cereal at breakfast time
the previous line with a full stop. This would also more sunny than the outside weather’s cloud,
reinforce the immediacy of the child’s joy by returning to chatting, prattling, singing - feeling fine -
the present tense. a child unanxious, living in the now.
A change of tense would help the following line, Before he’d woken, I’d heard the news downstairs
too. Adjusting he’d woken to he woke would remove and felt my usual dread about it all:
the extraneous foot, while in the penultimate line an RP accent voiced the known nightmares
changing grinning to grins would smooth the flow of of mass corruption, climate change and war.
the iambic pentameters. And then - he bounces in, grinning, unaware,
While working on these metrical tweaks, it might also aglow. In love with life. I won’t despair.
be a good idea to change the italics to upright text for
he, as it would remove the hint of extra weight from the

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 49

 FA N TA S T I C R E A L M S

Rain of terr or looks at using the weather to add extra

elements of chill and creep in your horror fiction

s we push from the heady days of summer Raining in my heart

and autumn settles in, attention will no Rain might be some of what we would consider the most
doubt be turning to the weather. And while traditional ‘horror weather’ – everything from a light drizzle
you might consider the next few months to to torrential rainfall has been seen many a time in the genre,
be the ideal sort of conditions to be writing and of course there are reasons it seems to fit so well. It
horror fiction, or indeed to be setting horror fiction, you brings clouds, so it usually darkens the whole landscape.
shouldn’t feel too tied to that. Remember terror can strike It can bring the dramatic visuals of lightning and the peals
at any time of the year. of thunder that can still make us jump as adults. It forces
In this piece we’re going to look at how you can use the people inside and sometimes we just stare out of the window
weather to maximum effect in your horror fiction, be it wishing it would go away.
sunshine, showers or snow. So yes, it is maybe the most obvious to lean upon –
but there are always things that we can do to use the
Forecast sunny with a chance or horror precipitation better.
Let’s begin by veering away from tradition and looking at 1) Have a good think about after effects of the rain.
horror set in summery conditions – the sun is high in the Could it be something that leads to flooding, be it limited
sky, the thermometers are climbing and electric fans are or widespread? If we’re talking serious storms or hail is there
appearing and just as quickly disappearing from shops. You damage that could be done to buildings? Consider what
might think that would be more of a set up for a romance might be most relevant to the story that you are writing. Can
novel, but there are ways you can make it horrific. you factor in something that will be revealed when the rain
1) There is such a thing as too much sunshine – anyone hits – ie, a recently buried body rising back to the surface?
who saw Midsommar will know there was a sinister edge 2) Don’t always use it in obvious places or ways. Of course
about night simply never falling, and you can use that idea there are many tropes here – the rain and the storm hitting
to great effect because it lends a strange, discombobulating at the climactic finale, or the lead watching the rain as they
mood to your story. go through a phase of depression within the story. But don’t
2) Think about the human angle – I for one struggle to be shy about flipping this on its head – can they stand in a
sleep and concentrate when the weather gets hot. And when cleansing rain having defeated the creature that beset them,
temperatures rise people can get irritable or even flat-out or in some way use the rain to their advantage in the battle
furious – is this something you could use to your benefit in against evil?
a horror story? Or are there things that summer might stop 3) Could the rain be part of the horror itself in an intrinsic
someone doing that would lead to further boiling frustration? way? A short story like Ray Bradbury’s ‘The Long Rain’
3) Yes, we all know the sun is very bright and not nice (or is a great example, where the endless precipitation of the
particularly safe) to look at when it rides high in the sky. But Venusian jungle tests and eventually snaps the sanity of
we need to go far beyond that in capturing its negative aspects a spacefaring mission. Is the water somehow summoning
– get over to the reader the humidity in the air, the sizzling a dark entity, or by falling is it somehow doing damage
pavement, people sweating under its perpetually beating rays… to people or transforming them? Does the rain fall in a
it can feel like the whole world is under a blanket when a particular place only, and if so why so? Yes, it can provide a
heatwave hits, and you can use that to your advantage. great backdrop – horror is replete with examples of that –
4) What do you associate with summer, and how can but do also keep in mind that it can be an integral part of
you make that horrific? Could you write about a beach the story itself.
trip that is disturbed by a nightmarish mermaid? Have
someone struggling to sleep in the heat encounter something Mist opportunities
dark in their house in the sweltering night? Create a flight Another old favourite is the fog – the name of a book by
abroad that descends into terror? Because so many of the James Herbert and a film by John Carpenter, so that tells a
expectations and associations with summer are positive, there story in its own right! And anyone who ever played Silent
is great scope to play with these and turn them on their head Hill will know just how omnipresent the fog is there.
– with a little imagination of course. Again there is an innate sense at work here – as humans we

50 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 FA N TA S T I C R E A L M S

are not really fans of the dark, and a thick mist can create a them, or perhaps the horrors that might exist only in their
similar effect of not being able to clearly see what’s around own imaginations.
you, and therefore (in horror fiction at least) leave you There’s no doubt that weather can play an important part
vulnerable to whatever might be out there. But again, can we in building the right atmosphere for horror stories, and
delve a bit deeper into the heart of the matter? knowingly or unknowingly you will have read and watched
1) Use it to fit the location. Are there particular places many, many examples of this in action. As always it’s worth
in your story where fog is liable to fall, and if so why? Is it watching out for and thinking about how it is done by
meteorological or something supernatural? You could easily different writers and directors – you can always learn from
attach local myth or legend to it to maximise its impact – the ways it is done elsewhere.
there’s more than one tale of things emerging from the mist While there is value to the tropes and the traditional
when you delve back into folklore… approaches, I’d encourage any horror writer out there
2) All who wander are lost. One thing fog is wonderful to think about ways that you might be able to use the
for in horror is making characters lose their way and wind conditions that are less seen, or have never been seen at all
up in places that might be unexpected or unknown – it before. There are certain weathers we might consider a great
could be that they wander into a dangerous settlement, fit, but by no means are we limited by those as authors!
into treacherous natural territory or indeed into some The final thing to say here is that weather does not have
supernatural realm they really don’t want to be in. Even to be simply a backdrop – much like the landscape of the
worse they might lose something – or someone – that means story itself, when done right it can play a much deeper
a lot to them. part in the story. We talk something about landscape being
character in the story, and the same can also be said for the
Let it snow weather. In what way are the sun, the rain, the mist and the
And finally, as we push into October and beyond into the snow essential to what you are writing – what connections
winter months, is there a chance we’ll see much snow this to the horrific or supernatural do they have, or what
year around? I’m sure the kids will be crossing their fingers connotations do they have for the lead characters in the
for some days off school and the chance to build a snowman, story? It can very much be about practical concerns, but the
but where it comes to horror stories it can certainly be one psychological effect that you can build in characters is not to
of the very last things you want! be underestimated either.
1) Remember the danger. While rain and in particular

Writing
wind can cause problems, it always seems as though ice
and snow are the things that make us most nervous.
There are places even here in the UK where people can

Ghost Stories
get regularly snowed in, which of course brings plenty
of risks if someone is not prepared for it. The dipping
temperatures can be a danger to people in their own right,
as well as the chances you take in travelling, be it on foot
or in a car. Even before we come to any monsters or other
sources of terror, you can raise the jeopardy in preparation
for that introduction.
2) Exploit the isolation. As we have explored before in
these pages, one thing that horror does a great deal of is
cutting characters off from one another – or from any
support at all! The fog can also achieve this, but snow may
be even better for ensuring your characters are on their own
– and therefore in more danger from what might be stalking

WINTER HAUNTS IS COMING SOON! WRITERS

ONLINE
If you’re a lover of the Gothic, the ghost story and the
supernatural, then I’m teaming up with the fantastic WEBINAR
SE R I E S
team at Writing Magazine this November for WINTER
HAUNTS 2023! We had a lively and exciting day last time SIGN UP TODAY
around, and with a line-up including Mariana Enriquez,
Rosie Andrews, Tananarive Due and more the 2023 event
looks every bit as must-attend! Visit https://tinyurl.com/ www.writers-online.
WinterHaunts2 to find out more and to book your tickets!
co.uk/webinars
www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 51
 Poetry
in performance
Could performance boost your poetry business?
Simon Whaley chats to three poets who
regularly take to the stage.

T
he first Thursday in October performance is all about the delivery. Emilie enjoys the audience’s reaction
is National Poetry Day. It’s ‘Performance poetry is the while she’s performing. ‘I love exploring
an opportunity for poets to entertainment end of the poetry how a poem can be performed, for
celebrate their art form and spectrum. At its best, it is a dazzling example, where the pauses should be,
share it with friends, family, and the display of words woven together by points which can be directed in a more
wider community. presence and immaculate timing.’ conversational way, and how to use
And poetry is important. In 2020, the It’s similar, too, for Emilie Lauren- gestures to bring the poem to life. It’s
National Literary Trust discovered that Jones (www.emilielaurenjones.co.uk), one of the best feelings when a poem
66.5% of the children and young people who’s been Coventry’s poet laureate lands well when you’re performing in
they surveyed felt better during lockdown since 2021. front of an audience—when you hear
when they were writing poetry. ‘I used to pay lots of attention to the hums during the thought-provoking
But there can be more to poetry than writing of a poem and then just turn up parts or laughter where you intended
writing it. Performance poetry takes and read them aloud. Now, I dedicate people to find it amusing.’
the form to a different arena, where an equal amount of attention to how a
the poet considers how their words are poem can be presented and performed. Professional performance
delivered and how their audience may I play around with different ideas and Performance poetry is also a brilliant
experience it. So, could performance rehearse. It is only fair to the audience form of marketing. Typically, events
poetry help you develop your writing that I have given a good amount of time include several poets, so it exposes
business further? and thought to this because it makes it a audiences to a variety of styles, subjects,
much better experience for everyone.’ and performances. If they like what they
Performance principles hear, they’re more likely to seek a poet’s
Mel Wardle Woodend (www. Performing for pleasure existing work.
dreamwellwriting.simplesite.com) While it may be nerve-wracking Not only that, but attending these
was Staffordshire’s Poet Laureate from for anyone who hasn’t performed a events offers the opportunity to network
2019 to 2022 and has written several poem before, all three poets enjoy the with other writers and poets.
poetry collections, including Just A performance and the extra dimension Gary Carr’s performances help him sell
Thought. For her, performance poetry this offers. his poetry collection, and have also led to
is about bringing the art form to a ‘Performance poetry is theatre,’ says other work.
wider audience. Gary. ‘It can be a jab in the ear with ‘Performing poetry and going to
‘Performance poetry, for me, is a really sharpened words, or a considered performance events, or open mics,
accessible way to share poetry and make sequence that builds into an edifice of introduced me to a community of
it for everyone,’ she explains. ‘It can immense proportions. It is very diverse writers and performers that has, in turn,
often be a fun and lively experience for in every sense; gender, sexuality, race, brought opportunities in poetry. Many
everyone involved. It is also a way to beliefs, neurodiversity and (dis)ability.’ of the sales of my book, In a Town, have
connect with people and share words For Mel, it’s about interacting with been at performance events. One of my
in quite a personal and intimate way, the audience. ‘I love being able to first poems published in a magazine was
sometimes creating solidarity because engage with an audience and watch heard by the editor at an event. I have
the performance is a shared experience their faces and reactions as they watch been offered work judging poetry slams,
between poet and audience.’ and listen to a poem. It is such a organising poetry at festivals, MCing or
Gary Carr (www.gary-carr.me.uk) has delight to know people are enjoying headlining poetry nights, all as a result of
had over sixty pieces published in literary something I have created. I also love reading my poetry.’
magazines and anthologies, has organised the adrenaline—knowing you have When an audience member sees and
poetry events for over a decade, and only one shot to get your words across hears a poet, it helps create a bond,
published his poetry collection, In successfully and make it an engaging which Mel believes encourages them to
A Town, in 2021. For him, a poetry experience for the audience.’ buy more of her work. And, just like

52 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 THE BUSINESS OF WRITING

Gary, she appreciates that you never to perform, know the length of your ‘Although it can be really nerve-
know who might be in the audience. poems and introductions, ensure that wracking at first, any nerves can be
‘I think when people see and hear you don’t go over the allocated time. part of the adrenaline that makes your
a poet perform their work, it brings a Try not to be nervous. People are very performance sing. Allow yourself to feel
sort of closeness as they have seen and supportive of beginners.’ the adrenaline and enjoy the experience
engaged with the person behind the Gary also recommends listening to because it most certainly is an exciting
poem. I feel this sometimes encourages some of the best in this genre and learning and adrenaline-inducing one.’
people to buy my work. It has also from them. And thanks to Zoom, it’s While live events often offer
led to lots of different opportunities, possible to experience an event from the the best research, Emilie suggests
as quite often there is someone in the comfort of your own home. checking out social media platforms
audience who may like what they ‘Go and see some of the best can also be a good way to pick up tips
hear and invite me to their school, performers online or in person, such and ideas.
group, or organisation to deliver a talk, as Kae Tempest, Luke Wright, Attila ‘See live poetry where possible
performance, or workshop.’ the Stockbroker, Poets Prattlers and and look up performance poets
Emilie loves the diverse opportunities Pandemonialists, Holly McNish, Ash on YouTube. There are plenty of
that have arisen because someone Dickinson, and Lydia Towsey. There are organisations that have YouTube
attended one of her performances. too many to mention individually, but channels and share performances
Working with other art forms allows her observing the combination of well-honed from their poets. I can recommend
to share her poetry with a wider audience. poetry and performance skills is a great speakeasynyc, Apples and Snakes,
‘I’ve had teachers attend workshops way to learn.’ Button Poetry, and Roundhouse.’
or my show and then book me for a Mel agrees that being an audience The Poetry Society maintains a
school visit. It’s also led me to have member first is an ideal way of getting a database of stanza groups (www.
some wonderful experiences. I currently feel for the discipline. poetrysociety.org.uk/membership/
collaborate with pianist Mikael ‘Look at how the audience reacts when poetry-society-stanzas/), where poets
Petersson, and we are taking our show someone is performing and you will see can either meet face-to-face or online.
Musical Metaphors back on tour from what works and what doesn’t! Don’t try Some offer critiques on works in
October 2023.’ to imitate someone else’s style though – progress, others read poetry, while some
Musical Metaphors is a mix of Emilie’s be yourself, because it is your authorial occasionally organise open mic events.
poetry, accompanied by Mikael’s voice behind your writing, and this is Could this year’s National Poetry Day
melodies, and interspersed with your chance to get your poetry across be the motivation you need to perform
some of his piano solos. Her poetry exactly as you intend.’ your poetry? The business benefits of
performances have also led to a chance It’s only natural to feel nervous engaging with audiences, performing
to work on a film. when performing at your first event, your work, and networking with other
‘I also had the opportunity to work but Mel believes nerves are good, if poets could lead to a whole new world
with Rural Media and Sky Arts to create harnessed correctly. of creative opportunities.
a poetry film called On These Streets We
Shine as part of their Unlocked Series,
which has just been nominated for a NATIONAL POETRY DAY
Broadcast Digital Award. A lot of what
I end up doing comes as a surprise – I What are you doing on National Poetry Day 2023 (5 October)?
didn’t set out to write a short film or to • Mel Wardle Woodend: ‘I am currently studying for a PhD in
put together a music and poetry show, Applied Linguistics, researching poetry and wellbeing at Aston
but the opportunities arose and I love University. I co-organise/co-host our new university poetry
trying new things!’ society, so I am very much looking forward to our first National
Poetry Day event at Aston this year!’
Plunging into performance
If the thought of performing your • Gary Carr: ‘I am running a Burton Runaway Writers’ Group
work in front of an audience appeals, meeting on the evening, but I’m hoping to organise an afternoon
do some research first. Attend a couple of “request” poetry in the local arts centre, with a big pile of
of events to get a feel for how they books for people to select poetry from.’
operate and how other writers use
these opportunities. • Emilie Lauren Jones: ‘I have an almost full week of school
‘Look for poetry open mic events near bookings in Hampshire and Essex. I’m looking forward to
you,’ suggests Gary. ‘Go along without running workshop sessions with the students. I am always left
performing and see if the feel of the feeling inspired!’
event is good for you. When you decide

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 53

RESEARCH TIPS

Education
Learn how to research aspects of education for your writing with advice from Tarja Moles

n a broad sense, education can be defined as anything Archives at IOE, UCL’s Faculty of Education and Society
that has a formative impact on the way we think, feel (www.ucl.ac.uk/library/using-library/libraries-and-
and act. This means that there’s an enormous number of study-spaces/ioe-library). It holds extensive collections
aspects and issues that could be researched. of contemporary and historical materials on education
and related areas of social science. For instance, its Main
Getting started Collection contains publications from the UK and around
It can be difficult to know where to start as there’s so much the world while its Journals Collection stocks thousands of
material available. Therefore, your first job should be to titles electronically. The Curriculum Resources Collection
narrow down the specific area within the subject. Are you holds schoolbooks and teaching materials for all school
interested in the philosophy of education or do you want subjects. If you’re writing historical fiction, you might like to
to find out more about its psychological or sociological explore what old schoolbooks looked like and imagine what
aspects? Perhaps you want to research pedagogy, comparative your fictional characters would make of them.
education or historical developments of an education system Even if you’re not able to visit the Newsam Library and
in a particular location? Archives in person, it’s worth exploring its website: it contains
After you’re clear about your focus, it’s easier to start a lot of information that you can make use of – including
exploring relevant sources. A great approach to finding good jotting down useful book titles that you can locate elsewhere.
quality material quickly is to take advantage of reading lists
compiled by experts. Educational institutions provide them Official data
for their students and some universities make them available If you need education statistics or other official information,
online so everyone can access them. You can find these by have a look at the Department for Education website (www.
doing an online search and using keywords that combine gov.uk/government/organisations/department-for-
your specific subfield and the words ‘reading list’. education). It works as a hub for official data and covers
For example, University of Bristol (www.bristol.ac.uk/ educational policy papers and consultations, school and
education/study/reading-lists) offers reading lists for college performance, statutory guidance, departmental advice,
their postgraduate programmes. These include topics, official publications, research and statistics. You can also
such as, neuroscience, psychology, technology, education access statistics via the Office for National Statistics website
management, leadership and policy. Reading lists provided (www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/
by UCL (https://ucl.rl.talis.com/departments/curpa_ioe. educationandchildcare).
html) centre around pedagogy: teaching different subjects, To research education systems, issues and statistics in other
educational testing and curriculum development. countries, there are many websites you can explore. For
example, the UNESCO Institute for Statistics (http://data.
Specialist libraries uis.unesco.org), the World Bank (www.worldbank.org/
Although there’s a lot of education-related material on the en/topic/education) and the OECD iLibrary (www.oecd-
internet, quick online searches may not go into sufficient ilibrary.org/education) allow you to access their data online.
depth if your aim is to research a specific topic exhaustively. Additionally, many countries provide official information
Hence, it’s better to consult books, journals and possibly on their respective education systems, policies and curricula.
even archival material. Public libraries tend to hold some To search for these data, check your chosen country’s
education-related resources – the larger ones being better Ministry of Education website. You can find a list of these
stocked than the smaller ones. However, you’ll be able to at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_education_
access more material by visiting a research library that’s linked ministries.
to an institution providing teacher training and/or facilitating
education research. You can find your nearest institution by News and latest developments
searching online. The field of education is constantly changing. To keep up
An example of such library is the Newsam Library and to date with the latest developments, follow the news. Many

54 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

newspapers and news sites have sections specifically
dedicated to education issues. For instance, the
BBC presents them at www.bbc.co.uk/news/
Behind the tape
If you have a
education and the Guardian at www.theguardian. Expert advice to get the query for Lisa, please
com/education. details right in your crime send it by email to
There are also specialist publications and websites lisacuttsenquiries@
fiction from serving police gmail.com
that solely concentrate on educational matters. officer Lisa Cutts
These tend to give their readers more wide-ranging
news items as well as more in-depth analyses. The
Tes Magazine (www.tes.com/magazine) and Times
Higher Education (www.timeshighereducation.
co.uk) are examples of these types of sources. Q Inlocated
my story, a man is murdered by a poisoned dart in a mausoleum
on private grounds. However, he is still alive when his friends find
To keep track of the latest education research, out that he has collapsed. Consequently, they send for the ambulance service,
follow various education research associations’ who rush him into hospital (they can’t wait for the police). But they do call
newsfeeds. For instance, the British Educational them, as it’s attempted murder. The man dies soon after.
Research Association (www.bera.ac.uk) publishes Usually in a murder story, the police are called out first, or at least at the same
regular news updates on its website. Furthermore, time as the paramedics. On this occasion, however, it’s the other way round.
it’s a good idea to read the latest journal articles and Upon being informed of the attempted murder, do the police and SOCO
conference papers. Both of these are available via treat the situation the same as if they’d been first responders instead of the
specialist education libraries. paramedics? Clearly the murder site will have been thoroughly disturbed by
the victim’s friends and by the paramedics. Will a DI and DS be sent to the
Networking scene, along with (or in advance of) SOCO? Would any constables be sent?
Connecting with others who share your interests Would the victim’s friends be interviewed on site, or at a later date? How
can support your research process. If they’re experts, long would the mausoleum be kept ‘off limits’ to the general public, and
you may be able to interview them and ask for would police guard the site to enforce this?
advice. If they’re fellow researchers, you can share Craig Booker via email

A
sources, information and insights. You can find Preservation of life is the number one priority every single time.
these types of people through education-related Apprehension of the offender is, of course, extremely important, but not
associations, like the above-mentioned British as vital as saving the man’s life. As long as it’s safe for the paramedics to enter
Educational Research Association (www.bera. the crime scene and do their job, the fact that they have arrived and taken
ac.uk) or the Society for Research into Higher the man to hospital before the police get there, won’t cause complications.
Education (www.srhe.ac.uk). Alternatively, you The first police officers on the scene are likely to be uniform officers as they
could look for individuals on LinkedIn (www. will be the local response officers. The DS and/or the DI will attend in due
linkedin.com) and make direct contact there. course and subsequently call out the on-call duty SIO.
Good luck! In your scenario, the unusual method of murder may well go unnoticed for
some time, meaning that the police aren’t called straight away. By the time
the police arrive, you’re correct regarding the disturbance of any potential
Educational resources online forensic evidence. The police have to deal with that, keep a log of who is
If you’d like to teach others or yourself there, who enters and leaves the scene (anyone doing so should only pass
something, there’s a huge amount of free through the cordon for good reason) and take names, addresses and dates
educational resources online. For example: of births of everyone there. Depending on who witnessed what – plus
• Tes (www.tes.com/teaching-resources): staffing – will determine which of the victim’s friends make a statement at the
Lesson resources scene. At this stage, statements are more likely to be taken than interviews
• Duolingo (www.duolingo.com): Language conducted. They can be done but will be at a police station (not in custody,
learning platform but a witness interview recorded on DVD or digitally) and take time, a lot
• OpenLearn (www.open.edu/openlearn/free- of time. Ideally, all of the victim’s friends would have statements taken at the
courses/full-catalogue): Free courses by the scene. The mausoleum will be secured as a crime scene with officers guarding
Open University the scene round the clock until released. It could be days before it’s released –
• MIT Open Learning Library (https://ocw.mit. that would be the SIO’s
edu): Free university courses with interactive decision.
content
• YouTube (www.youtube.com): Practical
instruction videos on how to do all sorts
of things, ranging from trimming horses’
hooves to using Photoshop!
Lisa Cutts is a crime fiction author and retired detective sergeant, having spent most
of her career within the Serious Crime Department. She has returned to work as an
Investigating Officer on historic crimes. Her novels are published by Myriad and Simon
and Schuster.
ASK THE AGENT

Lisa Highton
Simon Whaley chats to Lisa Highton of Edinburgh-based Jenny Brown Associates

isa Highton’s publishing Scottish-themed manuscripts? open for a month for our inaugural
experience spans the world. Not at all. Jenny only represents writers Debut Writers over 50 Award and
She’s been a publishing who live in Scotland, but my clients had over 1,700 entries. We haven’t yet
director at Doubleday, can be anywhere in the UK/Australia. decided on the dates for our next open
HarperCollins, and Hodder While some authors we represent submission. We appreciate it’s very hard
in Australia. She returned to the write about Scotland, the talent and for writers to break through, but it’s a
UK in 2005 to work for Hachette, breadth of subject matter is definitely case of persistence and luck.
establishing their Two Roads imprint, not confined to Scotland. That said, we
where she worked with authors like enjoy Scottish successes! When the agency is open to
Kirsty Wark, Sally Magnusson, Janet submissions, which genres interested
Ellis and Susan Calman. How does being Scottish-based you and why those genres?
influence how the agency works? I’m really interested in narrative fiction
Having gained so much publishing I live and work out of London, so I and non-fiction – tell me a story!
experience, what drew you to am the London-end of Jenny Brown While neither of us handles SF, horror,
becoming an agent? Associates now. I spend a lot of time or fantasy, as they require specialist
I’d worked for many of the major connecting with London editors and market knowledge, between us we cover
publishers all my life, and while I was seeing my authors wherever they live. the market from crime and thriller to
very proud of having started my Two Jenny comes down to London as general, literary, and historical fiction,
Roads imprint at Hachette, it was time regularly as I go up to Scotland. We memoir, biography, nature writing,
for a change and a fresh challenge. I attend the London Book Fair, and history, as well as some hard-to-define
left on a high in its tenth anniversary Frankfurt, and our foreign rights are but wonderful titles. We’re always ready
and best year ever, but after a break I sold everywhere by our Rights Director, to be surprised.
wanted to experience a different aspect Andrea Joyce.
of the book world! What common mistakes do authors
You work with agencies right around make when submitting to Jenny
You joined the Jenny Brown the world. How important is it to Brown Associates?
Associates agency in 2022. What secure foreign rights in your author’s Be aware of who and what we
do you enjoy most about being an work? represent. Read our submission
agent? Not every book will sell in translation, guidelines carefully (no Dear Sirs/single
Having worked with Jenny Brown or in other English-speaking markets, spaced/I know you said no fantasy
for years from the other side of the but we are committed to making but...). Try not to compare your work
desk, it was a natural fit. We share sure that each book achieves its full and thereby yourself to The Greats.
the same values of great storytelling, potential, in as many markets and Word count counts. Ideally (and
author care, and a love of the business. formats as possible. Each book is especially now with massive cost
It’s great being back to hands-on and different and needs an individual increases), scripts at over 90,000 words
building a list and the autonomy is approach, and sometimes we sell the are daunting. We don’t represent fantasy
appealing. Finding and nurturing talent rights and sometimes they are granted or sci-fi, as we’re just not expert enough
is really energising, as is trying to get to the publisher. Regardless, we are in that field, and we understand those
that talent ready for submission and always working in our author’s best are often longer, but generally, saying
the best all-round deal. We’re a very interests to get the word out there, in your book is 130,000 words is a
small team and decisions can be made whatever language or market. massive roadblock.
and implemented quickly, like our
Debut Award for writers over 50 – one The agency invites submissions from Lisa Highton’s top tip
conversation and the wheels were in unagented writers twice a year. What Do your homework. Be aware of
motion. I’m very proud to be working is it about this system that works the market and what else is being
with Jenny, who is the consummate best for the agency? published – if your book were
professional and great fun. We We don’t have a hard and fast rule published, where would it sit in a
complement each other. about this. For instance, last year bookshop, aside from ‘new releases’?
we had an open submissions period Publishing is famously a business of
Jenny Brown Associates is based and then pitch sessions in person in opinions, but it is a business.
in Edinburgh. Does the agency Edinburgh and the Highlands during Website: https://jennybrownassociates.
only represent Scottish authors, or Book Week Scotland. This year we were com/

56 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 From the
OTHE R SIDE
OF THE DESK

FLANNEL
Being able to express yourself
CUT THE
clearly and straightforwardly
goes a long way to giving your
submission letter agent appeal,
argues Piers Blofeld

T
here are various words believe in the magic of words and so you get a straining for effect; hints
and phrases which I find somewhere deep within us we share of grandiloquence, a touch of a literary
useful red flags when with Shelley the belief that poets flourish. The five-dollar words start
it comes to sifting out (which I take to mean all imaginative to come out and almost always their
dodgy social media posts writers) are the unacknowledged effect is the opposite of the one the
or any other piece of writing it is legislators of the world. writer is hoping for.
probably safe to take with a pinch of Certainly as a young man when I I know a lot of writers feel as if
salt or steer clear of. wrote (bad) poetry, I was tormented submission letters are somehow unfair
Literally is one, in just about any by the idea that a mere fourteen – why can’t agents just read the damn
context. As is any use of the word lines of verse, Ozymandias say, was book. The time constraints of that
shill. While the philologist in me loves enough to confer immortality. If it aside, the awkward reality is that bum
the fact that an obscure bit of carny was good enough. That of course is notes in the submission letter are
slang should have such currency, its a mountainously big if and not one I almost always matched by bum notes
use is an invariable sign that good came anywhere close to climbing. on the pages of the novel.
faith is no part of what I am reading. Now that I am older, I am more That sounds harsh – and to some
‘Studies show’ along with ‘deep dive’ fascinated by how difficult it is to write extent it is, but it is really important
are equally sure signs of a facile, in a way that conveys to the reader the to remember that there are a huge
insincere and shallow grasp of the sense that the writer is saying clearly number of pretty good writers out
subject at hand. and unambiguously the thing that they there – the complaint of so many
It’s a list I am constantly adding to, want to say. It is astonishing how hard unpublished writers that they write
a fun private parlour game and is of that is. as well as best selling novelist x is
course informed by the fact that as an I think this is one of the reason why often true: at a basic level. What that
agent I get to read so much material writers are so worried by submission lament masks is the ways in which
that its writers hope will inspire the letters. In our fiction we often feel we bestselling authors are doing things
same kind of vivid and enthusiastic can afford certain kinds of ambiguity. that you are not. Luck is important,
acceptance in me that a viral social Who doesn’t love an unreliable but by and large when writers get
media post elicits in its readers. narrator after all? But in a submission to the point where they have really
That’s what we as writers do letter all the oxygen seems sucked out found their ‘voice’ (i.e are able to
– attempt to light a flame of of the room. Nuance has fled. There’s say what they mean and mean what
enthusiasm in our readers’ minds, so little room for manoeuvre but at the they say) it rings out loud and clear –
because at heart we believe that same time there is this great wish to whether on the pages of their fiction,
is our way of changing the world. impress – to achieve a kind of virality their submission letter or indeed their
Because, however timorously, we in the reader’s (the agent’s) mind. And social media posts.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 57

A S K A L I T E R A RY C O N S U LTA N T

The final push

Approaching completion of a manuscript? Get ready for the final, vital edits with
advice from Cornerstones’ editorial director Monica Chakraverty

T
he main question as you send out your the toughest stage for writers at the start of their career as
manuscript will always be: is it what others there can be a tendency to overwrite in places when every
actually want to read? It can take multiple word feels precious. Remember that a reader will be better
redrafts to shake out the core theme that you’re drawn into the story if they are actively engaged, with less
passionately writing, something that people are desperate handholding; questions should be posed within scenes that
to read. Only once the focus has been established and aren’t immediately answered, to keep those pages turning.
the superfluous has been eliminated, will you be left with Finally, check your pacing, trimming back superfluous
something unique that feels true to your original vision paragraphs or even whole scenes or subsidiary storylines
for the book. This final version will contain the beating that just don’t quite work. It can be liberating to free one’s
heart of the story and will fulfil the promise that had you story from the shackles that have held it back, even if it
beginning the writing journey in the first place. means occasionally dispatching long-held ideas and passages
In order to get to this stage, self-editing techniques are of text. You might actually need to extend in other places,
crucial. There need to be redrafts to hone your story-writing if a key moment doesn’t carry enough weight or feels lost
skills and distil the narrative to its essential core. The final within the narrative.
editorial flush-through should get the manuscript up to In our commercial, competitive marketplace of publishing,
submission level but it’s a hard task to master. There’s often shorter manuscripts tend to feel tauter and more compelling,
one big push needed right at the end and many falter at this they’re easier to sell, and are more readable. Give yourself
stage, unable to see where they’re heading. time to ensure your final edits are in place before finally
It’s a little like climbing a mountain as one navigates a path sending out the manuscript on submission; a beta reader or
that should feel effortless for those who follow it afterwards. an editorial consultancy such as Cornerstones can help with
The slog can be tough but also fascinating as one pushes this crucial stage. You’ll hopefully then give the final push
characters into key directions, eliminates storylines that just and polish to a story that will capture the imagination of
aren’t working and polishes descriptions and dialogue so that agents and readers alike.
they feel fluid and compelling.
The initial spark to the story can be such an alluring entry
to the book, a honeymoon period when the words just fly
onto the page and the characters seem to find their own CORNERSTONES
agency without too much effort on your part. In contrast, LITERARY CONSULTANCY

authors often find the midsection tougher as the tension line

becomes harder to sustain. This presents the longest central
section within any three-act structure that essentially forms I e had some onderful manuscri t
the beginning, middle and end of the story. Too much time reads from ornerstones o er the ears
and effort in the wrong direction can lead to exhaustion and heir feed ac on m first manuscri t
an inability to discern which path to head towards. as in alua le in de elo in m ritin
Recently, I worked with an author who had a terrific
premise for his book and the perfect climax and Jessica Irena Smith, author of
denouement but who was unable to marry the two with The Summer She Vanished (Headline, 2023)
the lengthy midsection that would take him from A to B.
In cases such as this, editorial layering is key: the big initial
sweep and then building up, followed by sifting out, tidying Cornerstones is the world’s leading transatlantic
loose strands, neatening the kinks. One needs conflict and literary consultancy, offering a range of services to
tension as the protagonist battles to solve their problems bring your book to the next level. Our editorial
packages include: industry-style reader’s reports,
or is plunged into further despair at their situation.
one-to-one mentoring, final-stage copy-editing and
Meandering storylines often need to be tightened to keep
proofreading, and our intensive Edit Your Novel
the tension line rising, however subtly, so there’s an increase masterclass online course.
in the stakes as the story progresses.
As you approach the final stage of your novel, be bold and
+44 (0) 1308 897374
keep your cuts in a separate file if you really can’t bear to
press the delete button. You might be surprised to see how www.cornerstones.co.uk
well the text can work without your needing to reinstate
paragraphs that once seemed so valid. Cutting back is often

58 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 GET PUBLISHED You’ve read the advice – now get into print! Find the most up-to-date calls for
submissions, writing competitions to enter and publishing opportunities to suit
you and your writing in our easy-to-navigate news pages

60 Litmag submissions
Poetry and prose in different styles
and forms

No future for 60 Script opportunities

On-stage comps and commissions
AI in sci-fi! 61 Non-fiction submissions
Calls for reportage and creative
The pushback against A.I. generated material gathers pace. The World Science non-fiction
Fiction Convention (informally, WorldCon) is the biggest annual event in the
written science fiction calendar, writes Gary Dalkin. Next year it is to be held
in Glasgow, and the convention runners have adopted a strong position against 62 Fiction submissions
artwork created by artificial intelligence, stating that such work will not be Places to publish your stories
permitted in the convention’s Art Show, and they would ask where possible that
no images or presentations using A.I. generated book jackets be shown:
‘Glasgow 2024, A Worldcon for Our Futures will not accept artwork into 62 Small press submissions
the Art Show that comprises anything that was created using text to image AI Indie publishers welcoming new work
generators, or was created using any compiler or generator that relies on the use
of other artists’ images without the express permission of that artist.’
Read the full statement at: https://glasgow2024.org/about/ai-art-statement/ 62 Going to market

64/68 Poetry competitions

SQUEEZE ON A bumper crop of comps for poets!

SMALL PRESSES 64/66/69 Industry news

66 Indie mags and websites

Gary Dalkin
All Kindle magazine subscriptions came to an end on 4 September. Amazon appears to Submissions invited in various genres
be trying to drive subscribers to the company’s Kindle Unlimited service, where users
pay a monthly fee to access thousands of books and magazines. However, this looks set 67/68 Short story competitions
to seriously harm some small press magazines which depended heavily on Kindle users
subscribing to the title. Publishers can, in some cases, move their magazines to Kindle Win prizes for your short fiction
Unlimited, but the payments they receive from Amazon per read on Kindle Unlimited
are much smaller than for subscriptions for digital purchases. (For a comparison, think of
the difference between the payments artists received for CD royalties and the per stream
69 Travel writing know-how
payments on services like Spotify.)
Already as a direct result Christie Yant and Arley Sorg, editors of the World Fantasy 70 Novel competitions
Award-nominated Fantasy Magazine, have announced that the title will close as a
result, writing in their August editorial that, ‘with the Kindle Periodicals mess it’s [the Prizes for full-length fiction
magazine] just not sustainable’.
This change on the part of Amazon is particularly impacting the speculative fiction 70 Anthology submissions
world, where Amazon provided a convenient place to subscribe to various short story
magazines and have them all delivered to the user’s Kindle. If readers have to subscribe to Does your work fit these compilations?
each title at the magazine’s own website and then visit each month and download the latest
issue it is feared that many simply won’t bother.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 59

WRITERS’ NEWS

LITMAG SUBMISSIONS
Whitefish Review Broken Antler
Whitefish Review publishes work related to mountain culture. It’s Broken Antler publishes an annual literary horror magazine and
open to submissions until 30 September for work on the theme BAM Quarterly, an online journal plus ‘The Marrow’, Broken
of Dangerous Ideas, inspired by the fact that ‘in 1642, Galileo Antler’s blog and home of their LGBTQIA+ creator series,
Galilei was imprisoned under house arrest for life for publishing updated biweekly. Currently ‘The Marrow’ is accepting pitches
theories that stated the earth was not the centre of the universe. for interviews, reviews, and essays, as well as creative submissions
His dangerous idea was scary to the Church, who believed in of micro fiction, poetry, and art. BAM Quarterly opens to subs
an Earth-centered universe.’ Submit fiction up to 5,000 words, in September. Broken Antler publishes all genres of horror, as
non-fiction, essay, one to three poems, visual art of all kinds, and well as S.F. and dark fantasy. For fiction, submit one piece in
photography. PDRLS each category with a 5,000 words maximum across the three.
Deadline is 30 September. Short stories, under 3,000 words, flash under 1,000 words and
Website: www.whitefishreview.org microfiction under 300 words must be horrific. Poetry, one to
five poems must not exceed 10 pages maximum. Creative non
fiction, 4,000 words maximum. Art is always welcome. Submit

The Gateway Review: no more than three piece. Reviews and interviews for the blog
must be queried.
Print payment is US$20 plus a copy and US$10 for work
a Journal of Magical published online. PDRLS
Website: https://www.brokenantlermag.com
Realism
Mystery Magazine
The Gateway Review: a Journal of Magical Realism looks for ‘the
best contemporary magical realism, surrealism, and new fabulism
written by new and emerging, as well as from established and The Canadian Mystery Magazine includes stories in every
seasoned, writers.’ The team publish fiction and poetry, as well mystery sub-genre both by the world’s best-known and emerging
as non-fiction about the art of writing. It’s currently open for mystery writers. Submit stories, 1,000 to 7,500 words or You-
submissions of magic realist, fabulist or surrealist fiction, 1,000 Solve-It mysteries online using their system. Submissions must
to 4,000 words, narrative poetry (one poem of no more than 40 be original works of short fiction that have never appeared
lines), and non-fiction, no more than 1,000 words, on how to online or in print in any form. Avoid scenes of animal cruelty or
write in the magical realist, fabulist, or surrealist tradition. excessive profanity/violence.
Payment is the Editor’s Choice award of US$15. PDRLS Payment is 2 US cents a word. PDRLS
Website: https://gatewayreview.wordpress.com Website: https://mysterymagazine.ca

SCRIPT OPPORTUNITIES
The Titchfield Festival Theatre Submit to
New Play Competition Transient Arena
In a bid to produce and stage plays every
The Titchfield Festival Theatre New Play Competition is inviting submissions of year, the UK-based Transient Arena is
original plays. The winning playwright will receive £1,000 and their play will be inviting submissions of plays for their 2024
performed for one week at the Acorn Theatre venue in February 2024 with stage and season on the theme of ‘Life and Death’,
set designers and a technical team in a package worth £10,000. The competition is which can be interpreted in any way you
open to playwrights living in the UK who are over the age of 18 years. The closing date wish.
for submissions is 30 September. Fewer actors are preferred and ‘we’re
Plays of all genre will be considered and they should have 1-2 hours playing time. partial to comedies and stories that make
Plays should not have been previously been performed, optioned or produced in any audiences think and spark conversation and
form anywhere in the world. Plays which have had a rehearsed reading are eligible. debate in our online community and in real
Translations, adaptations of other works or musicals and plays for younger audiences are life’, say the organisers.
not wanted. Email your play giving its premise and say
A shortlist of ten plays will be announced by mid November that are ‘serious a little about yourself, how long you have
candidates for development and production’. An experienced group of actors will read been writing and what inspires you. JR
sections of the plays to the judges to aid with a final decision on a winner who will be Details: email: plays@transientarena.
announced on 18 December. JR com/ website: www.transientarena.com/
Website: www.titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com/new-playwright-competition/2023 submissions/plays

60 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 GET PUBLISHED
NON-FICTION SUBMISSIONS
Building bricks Under the stars
by Jenny Roche By Gary Dalkin
Non-fiction essays, reviews, interviews, belles lettres, memoir, Trails Magazine is a new US quarterly
translations ‘and all manner of incidental ephemera’ are independent print magazine, ‘for backpackers
invited for Brick magazine, a Toronto-based international and people who sleep in the dirt’, which is just
literary journal published twice a year. ‘We welcome humour, about to complete its first year of publication. The
depth, the unclassifiable and playfulness with the non fiction winter issue will be full by the time you read this,
form’ say guidelines. but thinking about pitching founding editor Ryan
Submissions should be completed unpublished pieces and although there Wichelns for the spring 2024 number, which
are no strict word limits there is a tendency to publish pieces of 1,000-5,000 will have a deadline in early November and the theme of ‘Transition’.
words. Submit only one piece. You are encouraged to interpret this theme liberally in your pitch while
Payment rates are CA$55 and upwards depending on length plus two copies remembering that the focus of Trails is on backpacking and other
of the journal in which your work is published and a one year subscription. human/naturally-powered means of sleeping outdoors: bikepacking,
Submissions are open from 1-31 October 2023. Use the Submittable link: canoe camping, even things like rafting or mountaineering are fair
https://brickmag.com/about/submissions/ game. This is about multi-day trips in backcountry and wilderness
destinations, not ‘backpacking around hostels in Europe’.
Get bustling By Gary Dalkin
Stories with a North American destination are preferred, but articles
where the geography is really just the setting for a profile or tale of
adventure have more flexibility.
Kelsey Stiegman, senior fashion editor at US women’s lifestyle and pop culture Trails also requires several ‘blazes’ per issue, 400 word pieces which
website Bustle, is looking ‘for first-person essays, funny takes on tv/movie might cover profiles, news, opinion, gear, or ‘whatever short thing
style, buzzy styling pieces, and meatier features.’ Rates are between $300-$800 comes to mind’ of interest to the magazine’s readers. Ryan notes that
depending on the type and length of story. Email her at kelsey.stiegman@ the budget for paying writers for issue 4 is $23,000, and payment is
bustle or follow on X/Twitter @kelseystiegman. reported to be at least 50 cents US per word. Follow on @ryanclimbs
Meanwhile the Bustle editorial team are always open to pitches for ‘timely and @readtrailsmag Full guidelines at https://trailsmag.net/pages/
first-person pieces and personal essays, experiments and trials, and interviews contributor-information
and profiles.’ They will consider reported feature ideas about fashion and
beauty, lifestyle (health and wellness, sex and relationships, tech and social
media trends, astrology), and entertainment/culture. Cult non-fiction
Recent stories have included: ‘A Viral TikTok Theory Connects ‘Barbie,’ ‘The By Gary Dalkin
Lego Movie’ & ‘Elf’’, ‘Olivia Washington Grounds Herself With Her Mom’s Lost in Cult, a UK publisher devoted to releasing
Cooking’ and ‘10 Slutty Books To Read Before Summer Ends’. beautifully produced books exploring the history of
For Life and/or Wellness pitches, e-mail lifestylepitches@bustle. video games, is creating a book dedicated to console
com; for Style, [email protected]; for Entertainment gaming, ‘penning a community-led story that
[email protected]. Only send pitches, not complete articles. spans every hardware generation’. The editorial team says if you have a
Be sure to follow the Bustle pitching guide at www.bustle.com/news/how- favourite console to celebrate, a treasured memory to share, or a theme
to-submit-freelance-pitches-to-bustle-11914601 to explore then to let them know. They need long-form essays that tell
unique personal, historical, and analytical stories about every major
Travel tales with a difference console. Rates begin at £165 for 2,250 words and increase with the
length and complexity of the piece. Visit the website to see the sort of
By Jenny Roche books Lost in Cult publish at www.lostincult.co.uk, then email your
pitch to [email protected]
A literary magazine with a ‘penchant for journeys and a fascination with strangers’,
the Off Assignment USA-based non profit literary magazine invites original,
unpublished submissions of travel tales with a difference from around the world. Worth the tip-off
Essays which are more than a travel guide and deal especially with offbeat places
and the people in them are invited. The magazine has several sections: By Gary Dalkin
• Letters to a Stranger: This can be a letter to a stranger you have met while Worth The Trip is a weekly newsletter sent to subscribers by US
travelling the world, the country or just down the street. Letters should never travel company Going. Content marketing director Katie Hammel is
be colonialist or judgemental. They should be a ‘highly personal narrative that looking for pitches highlighting, ‘amazing, one-of-a-kind experiences
stirs up universal themes’. The word count is 800-1,800 words and titles should around the world’. If your pitch is accepted your finished feature
begin To the …. should be around 800 words and will be about one specific activity or
• No Equivalent: This section concentrates on untranslatable words and how experience that any traveller can do or have, but only in a particular
they may have played in your personal geography or voyages. The word count is place, which can be anywhere on the planet.
800-1,800 words Examples include: the best place to see this rare animal; the only
• Under the Influence: How the works of authors or artists can act as guides hotel that has this certain feature; the only place in the world where
and influence how you might feel about a place, no matter whether that might be you can do this activity... One recent piece explored going on a night
walking down a street or sitting on a park bench. The word count is 800-2,000 dive with manta rays off Big Island, Hawaii, and was reprinted on
words and titles should be formatted for example as Reading (author) in (place) or Going’s website. Read it and you will see that along with a description
Listening to (artist) in (place). of the activity, you should include a section on ‘Getting There’ and
• Witching Hour: This is a new section which has ‘lyrical portraits of places’ at a another on ‘How to Do It’: www.going.com/guides/big-island-
specific time of day or night. The word count is 300-500 words and titles should hawaii-manta-rays
indicate the time and place. Rates start at $250 US. These features are part of an ongoing
Another section – What I Didn’t Say – was not open to submissions at the time weekly series, with a new batch commissioned every second month.
of writing. Check out the website for any changes. Make your pitch using the form at https://hello-going.typeform.
Payment for published work is $300 with the exception of Witching Hour com/to/wRko8ni6?typeform-source=t.co Follow Katie Hammel on
pieces for which the payment is $100. X (formerly Twitter) @KatieHammel
Website: www.offassignment.com/write-for-us
www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 61
WRITERS’ NEWS

FICTION SUBMISSIONS

Canelo breaks Get pulped

By Gary Dalkin
into horror
By Gary Dalkin Crystal Lake Publishing is a leading US
independent press which, since its founding
Canelo Horror is a new imprint in 2012, has received 58 awards and
from UK publisher Canelo launching nominations including The Bram Stoker
this October with the first British Awards, Shirley Jackson Awards and This
publication of John Langan’s Bram Is Horror. Now the company is launching
Stoker Award-winning The Fisherman. Torrid Waters, a new imprint devoted to
Canelo already have lists devoted to Pulp and Extreme Horror, and is open to
crime, adventure, action, history, etc, submissions for novels and novellas until
and the new imprint promises a mix of midnight EST 30 September (that’s 5am on
original titles and reprints, ‘books and authors that have the morning of 1 October in the UK).
shaped the genre while charting its own territory to The editorial team want works between 30,000 to 95,000 words, and say,
offer the most unique and chilling novels being written ‘We’re looking less for literary horror and more for the sort of horror that gets
today’. Commissioning editor for Canelo Horror, Kit your heart racing. Our readers want to go on an emotional rollercoaster of fear,
Nevile says: ‘Horror has always been an area of great fright, sadness, joy, loss, and the beauty behind every character’s story.’ They are
personal and professional interest, but the landscape for casting a ‘wide net’, and are open to anything from early pulp style tales to the
the genre has exploded in recent times, with ever more weird, the gory, and the disturbing. No short stories, anthologies, collections,
titles crossing from niche interest into the mainstream. poetry, screenplays or YA. Romance or erotic content may feature as a subplot.
Even beyond the surge of TikTok buzz, there’s a Payment is 40% royalties for net ebook sales and 20% on paperback sales.
resurgent respect and appreciation for horror, from Only make one submission at a time. Simultaneous subs are allowed, but
readers and from within the industry. I’m incredibly inform the editors if you are accepted elsewhere. All works must be original,
excited, both for the list’s launch and the potential for previously unpublished, which also means no self-published titles.
horror in years to come. We aim to bring a diverse and Initially you should submit your first three chapters, but the novel/novella
talented group of authors to the fore, and establish our must be completely written in-case the editorial team want to see the entire
list as one of the best in the country.’ manuscript. Don’t submit a work previously rejected by Torrid Waters, even if
Authors so far signed to be published include you have since revised it.
Jóhann Thorsson, Sarah Langan, Ronald Malfi, and When submitting put ‘Torrid Waters Submission 2023’ in the subject line
C M Rosens. No submission guidelines have yet of your email and send to [email protected]. Essential to download
been released, but for more information email Kate the PDF file of the complete guidelines from www.crystallakepub.com/
Shepherd: [email protected] wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Torrid-Waters-Submission-2023-Guidelines.
Website: www.canelo.co pdf and follow them. You can send enquiries to [email protected]

Scenes of the crimes Seaside spooktacular

By Jenny Roche By Jenny Roche

Independent publisher Joffe Books prides itself on Fiction, poetry and non fiction
working with its authors from around the world to are invited for the quarterly
produce bestsellers of a wide variety of crime and Seaside Gothic, which describes
mystery novels. Authors of colour, LGBT+ authors, itself as ‘a magazine from the
differently abled authors and authors from diverse edge of the sea where the front
backgrounds are particularly invited to submit. ‘We of civilisation meets the wilds
especially look for great stories, fresh ideas, excellent of the water’. Submissions from
writing and original voices’ say guidelines. working class writers and ‘transient voices in seaside gothic
Submit a full-length book of a minimum 60,000 literature’ are particularly welcomed.
words. In the body of your email include a three The magazine was launched this year and editor Seb Reilly defines seaside
paragraph synopsis and genre of your novel and 100 gothic literature as being led by emotion, connecting to the edge and having
words about yourself. If your submission is of interest duality eg land and sea, love and hate. There are examples on the website of how
you will be contacted within three months: this genre reflects in the the works of classic poets and writers.
The publisher is currently running the Joffe Books Submissions, no more than one piece of fiction, poetry or non fiction, should
Prize which invites unagented authors from Black, be a maximum 1,000 words long.
Asian, Indigenous and minority backgrounds to submit As the magazine is self funded the current payment rate is £0.01 per word
a full-length manuscript written in English together payable by Paypal for first UK rights in print and digitally along with three
with a synopsis and author biography. There is a prize months of exclusivity from the date of publication. It is hoped to increase
of £1,000 for the winner plus a two book publishing payment in the future. Contributors will also receive a print copy of the
deal, a £25,000 audio book offer from Audible for the magazine containing their work plus a lifetime digital subscription.
first book and a two year membership to the Society of Submissions will only be considered between the dates of 9-15 October 2023.
Authors. The closing date for submissions is midnight Any submission outside these dates will not be read and the email address for
on 30 September 2023. Click on the ‘Prize’ link at the submissions will only be available via the website during the submission window.
top of the website for full information. Website: www.seasidegothic.com/submissions/
Website: https://joffebooks.com/

62 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 G O I N G TO M A R K E T

GET PUBLISHED
SMALL PRESS SUBMISSIONS
PDR Lindsay Salmon

Sparkling Books Flux

Sparkling Books are a member of Flux is a YA imprint of independent
Independent Publishers Guild. Currently children’s and YA publishing company
they are seeking submissions of fiction, North Star Editions, Inc. Flux is open
in the crime thriller, crime mystery,
detective fiction, romance and women’s
to most genres.
Submit a query letter with the Less is more
difficult *
fiction genres. For non-fiction use the first three chapters and a brief 1 to 2
contact form to make a preliminary paragraph plot synopsis plus a short
enquiry before completing the proposal bio mentioning previous publications
form. Submit online, sending a fully and writing credentials. Mention 3 to
edited manuscript, edited by an 5 comparative books published within
Keeping your workcount
independent editor, and in a standard the last 5 years with an explanation of down is a vital skill says
publishing format. Include a promotion how your book both ties into a trend Patrick Forsyth
plan. Books are published in print and as in the YA genre and offers something
ebooks. Rights and royalties are discussed unique. Rights and royalties are You probably know the comment
on acceptance. discussed on acceptance. (usually attributed to Mark Twain)
Website: www.sparklingbooks.com Website: https://fluxnow.com ‘I didn’t have time to write a short
letter, so I wrote a long one instead’.
Brevity can be difficult to achieve; it’s

The Shortish Project

The Shortish Project publishes short novels both new and ‘notable short novels
a problem I could discuss for a long
time; sorry… I know. But seriously,
brevity’s important to writers, and is
from the past 200 years or so,’ defining a short novel as ‘Any work of fiction between a skill worth getting to grips with. I
75 pages (or so) and 200 pages (or so).’ Roughly 14,000 words to 42,000 words. remember reading a book, long ago,
Submit short novels between 14,000 and 42,000 words in all genres and styles, from called Write Tight (William Brohaugh),
traditional to experimental. The books are published in paperback and ebook editions. and despite a whole book on the
Authors ‘receive 50% of net receipts on all sales, paid in June and December.’ subject being a kind of contradiction
Website: https://the-shortish-project.ghost.io in terms, I learnt a good deal from it.
Why is this worth mentioning?
Because so many of the documents
that help get you into print need to
Broken Sleep Books be brief; succinct is perhaps a better
word as brevity can imply cutting
Broken Sleep Book is ‘a working-class, small, innovative press.’ It publishes ‘a range too close to the bone. This is true of
of poetry and prose, from a range of writers.’ Their ‘primary focus is in increasing query letters, covering letters, synopsis,
access to the arts, in ensuring more people are able to engage with creativity regardless blurbs, even a punchy first sentence
of their socioeconomic status.’ They do not like ‘the gentrification of creative arts’, and more. Go on too long and it will
and ‘encourage more working-class, LGBTQ+, and POC writers to submit.’ It’s open be less well read. Those commissioning
for submissions every year from the 1 January to 28 February for ‘wildcard books’ i.e. writing make decisions quickly. I was
books that don’t fit with the other submission windows. From 1 April to 31 May it once told by a literary agent that they
accepts submissions of poetry collections no fewer than 40 pages. From 1 July to 31 would never read more than three
August it accepts non-fiction prose pamphlets no more than 150 pages, and from 1 pages of a book manuscript before
October to 30 November, poetry pamphlets no fewer than 40 pages. forming a view to read on or ditch it.
Payment: ‘We pay 10% royalties, with the author receiving 5 free author copies.’ Writing demands getting to grip
Website: https://www.brokensleepbooks.com with various skills, including typing
(for most), grammar and a long list of
writing techniques and, in context of
Hansen House selling your work, being persuasive.
Achieving brevity is one such
Hansen House is a new specialist indie press publishing LGBTQIA stories, skill. This column is comparatively
owned and operated by LGBTQIA people. The next open submission period is 1 short, and I must stick close to the
to 15 October. Submit contemporary YA, steampunk, hard SF, Western, historical, wordcount. Early on, I spent a fair
speculative, romance friendhsip and coming of age adventures, ‘with queer while adding or pruning my text to
protagonists or by queer authors so long as the story does not fall into the “bury hit the target. Now my first draft is
your gays” trope.’ They want ‘engaging and unique LGBTQ+ stories while elevating normally within three or four words
marginalized voices.’ of what is needed (though it may
Submit a cover letter, book title, word count, genres and age category, LGBTQ+ still need editing!). Practice surely
representation, political/social/BIPOC representation and themes, comps, synopsis/ helps. Enough.
summary of the book, author bio, salutations and the first 10 sample pages.
Rights and royalties are discussed on acceptance. * Yes, I know, it should be fewer, but
Website: www.hansenhousebooks.com somehow that’s not such a good title!

www.writers-online.co.uk
OCTOBER 2023 63
WRITERS’ NEWS

POETRY COMPETITIONS
The Cheltenham Poetry
Festival International Poetry
Prize 2023
The Prose Poem The inaugural contest has a £200 first prize.
The Cheltenham Poetry Festival
Competition 2023 International Poetry Prize 2023 is
inviting entries of original, unpublished
The inaugural contest for the new Prose Poem Project is for poems on any theme, up to 50 lines.
prose poems up to 500 words. The prizes are £200, £100 and £50.
Prose poems for the competition may be on any subject, and The judge is Joseph Fasano. The first
must be original and unpublished. prize winner will be offered a guest slot
There are prizes of £100, £50 and £25, and honourable at the 2024 Cheltenham Poetry Festival.
mentions will get £10. Winners and all shortlisted prose poems The entry fee is £4 for one poem, £10
will be offered publication. for three and £15 for five.
The entry fee is £3 for one, £4.50 for two, and £6 for three. The closing date is 22 October.
The closing date is 15 October. Website: https://cheltenhampoetryfestival.co.uk/poetry-
Website: https://theprosepoem.com/ competition-2023/

Southword Editor’s Poetry Ironbridge Poetry

Award 2023 Competition 2023
Win a €1,000 first prize in the competition for three The contest from Ironbridge Festival of the Imagination is back
poems for a second year.
The Southword Editor’s Poetry Award from The international competition is for original, unpublished
Munster Literature Centre is inviting entries of three poems on any theme, up to 40 lines.
original, unpublished poems. There are prizes of £300, £125 and 3 x £25. There is also a
The writer of the best three poems will receive local prize of £50 for poems by writers with a TF postcode. The
€1,000. Each entrant will receive a complemetary, judge is Pat Edwards (pictured).
postage-free, one-year subscription to Southword. The judge is The entry fee is £4 for one poem,
Southword poetry editor Patrick Cotter. £10 for three and £3 for any subsequent
The entry fee is €20. The closing date is 30 September. entries in the same submission.
Website: http://munsterlit.ie/southwordeditoraward/ The closing date is 17 September.
Website: https://pandemonialists.
co.uk/ironbridge-poetry-
BHAC competition-2023/

Sussex Poetry
Competition Trio International Poetry
2023 Competition 2023
The Sussex Poetry Competition is run by Brighton and Hove Arts The competition from Trio Uganda is for original, unpublished
Council. The open competition is for original, unpublished poems poems up to 40 lines.
on any theme, up to 40 lines, written by poets with a connection The winner will receive £1,000 and there are second and third
to Sussex (ie has lived, worked, studied or was born there). The prizes of £300 and £200. Four commended poems will each
students’ competition is for students with links to Sussex currently win £25. All poems entered in the competition, winning and
attending courses. otherwise, will be considered for
In the open competition, there is a first prize of £1,000, a second publication in Red Poets. The judge
prize of £300 and a third prize of a Work – Write – Live creative is Mike Jenkins.
writing tutorial. Four highly commended poems will each win £25. The entry fee is £5 for the first
In the student competition, there is a first prize of £150 and two poem, £8 for two and and £10 for
highly commended poems will each win £25. three.
In the open competition, the entry fee is £6 for the first poem The closing date is 30 September.
and £5 per additional poem. In the student category, entry is free. Website: www.triouganda.org/
The closing date is 15 October. poetry-competition
Website: www.bh-arts.org.uk/2023-sussex-poetry-
competition-poetry-festival/

64 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 Poem: 99 The Poetry Kit Ekphrastic
The theme for the competition for
poems by young writers is ‘The Future’.
Poem 99 is a competition for
Poetry Competition 2023
poems by young writers that has been The Poetry Kit Ekphrastic Poetry Competition is inviting entries of
created by poet and WM subscriber original, unpublished poems of any length and in any style, written
Sheena Hussain. in response to a work of art.
Poem: 99 is inviting entries of The winner will recieve £110. There is a second prize of £30. The
original, unpublished poems up to 20 judge is James Bain.
lines by children aged 5-16 on ‘The The entry fee is £3.50 for one poem, £8 for three poems and
Future’. The age categories are 5-7, £10 for five.
8-10, 11-13 and 14-16, and there is a The closing date is 30 September.
prize of £150 in each category. Website: www.poetrykit.org/
The entry fee is 99p per poem.
The closing date is 31 October.
Website: https://poetrybysheenapoetrybyname.com/ The Waltham Forest Poetry
Competition 2023
competitions

The Waltham Forest Poetry

Competition is for original,
unpublished poems up to 40
lines. This year’s contest is for
Wildfire Words Single-poem poems on the theme of ‘Play’.
In the main category there
Competition 2023 are prizes of £400, £200 and
£100, and local Waltham
The theme for this year’s contest is ‘Ticking Clock’. Forest Prizes of £50 and
Poets entering the contest may interpret the ‘Ticking Clock’ theme pamphlet publication, £30 and £20 for poets who live, work
in any way, and write in any poetic form. or study in Waltham Forest. There is also a £100 prize for he
There is a first prize of £350, and second and third prizes of £150 funniest poem and young poet prizes of £50, £30 and £20 in
and £75. Up to three commended poets will each get £25. The both the main and local categories. This year’s judge is Niall
winners and longlisted poems will be published in a print anthology O’Sullivan.
and online by wildfire words. The lead judge is Angela France. The entry fee in the adult category is £3 for the first
All entries must be original and unpublished. submission and £1 for every submission thereafter up to six
There is an Early Bard rate of £4 per entry or £12 for four up to 1 poems. There is no entry fee for young poets.
September, and then £5 and £15. The closing date is 9 October.
The closing date is 30 September. Website: https://pctothepowerof2.wordpress.com/enter/
Website: https://wildfire-words.com/tc/

GENERAL NEWS
Booker’s dozen Shirley Jackson
The longlist for the Booker Prize was announced in
August. The 13 listed books explore universal and topical
themes, from, according to the judges, deeply moving
winners
personal dramas to tragi-comic family sagas; from the The winners of the 2022 Shirley Jackson
effects of climate change to the oppression of minorities; Awards for outstanding achievement in
from scientific breakthroughs to competitive sport. The horror, psychological suspense, and dark
longlist is: fantasy fiction have been announced as
The House of Doors, Tan Twan Eng; The Bee Sting, follows: The Best Novel award was a
Paul Murray; Western Lane, Chetna Maroo; In Ascension, tie between: The Devil Takes You Home,
Martin MacInnes; Prophet Song, Paul Lynch; All the Little Gabino Iglesias (Mulholland) and Where
Bird-Hearts, Viktoria Lloyd-Barlow; Pearl, Siân Hughes; I End, Sophie White (Tramp); Novella,
This Other Eden, Paul Harding; How to Build a Boat, The Bone Lantern, Angela Slatter (PS);
Elaine Feeney; If I Survive You, Jonathan Escoffery; Study Novelette, What the Dead Know, Nghi Vo
for Obedience, Sarah Bernstein; Old God’s Time, Sebastian (Amazon Original Stories); Short Fiction,
Barry; A Spell of Good Things, Ayòbámi Adébáyò. ‘Pre-Simulation Consultation XF007867’,
The list includes ten writers longlisted for the first time, Kim Fu (Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st
including four debut novelists, three writers with seven Century); Single-Author Collection, We Are
previous nominations between them, writers from seven Here to Hurt Each Other, Paula D. Ashe
countries across four continents, including four Irish (Nictitating); Edited Anthology, The Hideous
writers. Chair of the judges, Esi Edugyan said, ‘All 13 Book of Hidden Horrors, Doug Murano, ed.
novels cast new light on what it means to exist in our time, (Bad Hand). GD
and they do so in original and thrilling ways.’ GD

OCTOBER 2023 65
WRITERS’ NEWS

INDIE MAGS AND WEBSITES

GENERAL
NEWS

Current A positive
Current is an online journal of commentary
and opinion that provides daily reflection on presence
contemporary culture, politics and ideas. It Auroras & Blossoms
publishes features of 800 to 1,200 words in Auroras & Blossoms is dedicated to inspiration With shops closing across the
the form of essays, reviews, or opinion pieces. and upliftment and follows the concept of country, it’s encouraging news
Submit a pitch no longer than 150 words PoArtMo—Positive Actions Rally Thoughts for writers that, having opened
and include a brief bio. Payment and rights and Momentum. Submit poetry, and prose in 13 new bookshops last year,
discussed on acceptance. the form of essays, stories, and flash fiction, Waterstones launched a new branch
Website: https://currentpub.com 150 to 1,000 words by the next isssue deadline in Petersfield in June, and another
of 30 September. To celebrate their fifth in August in Blackburn. The latter
birthday the team are publishing a special is in the shopping centre in the
anthology of written and visual art created location of a former branch of W
round the theme ‘Auroras and/or blossoms’. H Smith. Also, following closure
Word limit is 1,500. The deadline is 31 last year due to redevelopment,
December. the branch of Foyles at Waterloo
Button Eye Review Website: https://abpositiveart.com Station reopened in the middle of
Button Eye Review is a literary journal which August. GD
publishes horror, thrillers, gothic tales, and
dark literary fiction and is currently accepting
submissions of fiction, poetry, and non-
fiction. Submit stories up to 7,500 words and
Inkyard closed
up to five poems. HarperCollins closed YA imprint
Payment is $10. Inkyard Press in August, with
Website: https://buttoneyereview.com Inkyard titles absorbed into the
HC Children’s division. A press
Sunspot Literary River Styx statement cited ‘current market
Journal Renewed and restored, River Styx is conditions’, ‘a shifting retail
Sunspot Literary Journal accepting submissions of poetry, prose, landscape’, and ‘higher production
publishes ‘microfiction, creative nonfiction, short play, and costs in a price-sensitive segment’.
flash fiction, poetry, multimedia submissions for the online In other words, the terrible state of
short stories, plays, journal. Send no more than one short story the economy. GD
scripts, literary works or essay per submission. Flash prose, stories
and well-written genre and essays of 500 words or fewer may be
pieces up to novella length.’ Submit essays,
opinions, articles, reviews, memoirs, and
sent in groups of up to three. Send up to
five poems per submission.
Fantasy
travel stories, and short stories, long-form
stories, novelettes and novellas, up to 49,000
Payment is a one-year subscription, and
US$50.
finalists
words. For poetry send one or two poems up Website: www.riverstyx.org
to 3 pages in length. The finalists for the World
Payment: Editor’s Prize of $35. Fantasy Awards Best Novel
Website: https://sunspotlit.com have been announced as: Saint
Death’s Daughter, C.S.E. Cooney
The Mantelpiece (Solaris); Spear, Nicola Griffith
The Mantelpiece editor (Tordotcom); The Ballad of Perilous
Lillian Heimisdottir is Triangular Prism Graves, Alex Jennings (Redhook;
based in Iceland, but the Triangular Prism is a brand new periodical Orbit UK); Babel, R.F. Kuang
journal is international, based in Portugal of essays on cinema (Harper Voyager US; Harper
and open to unsolicited and sequential art. Currently open to Voyager UK); Siren Queen, Nghi
submissions of fiction, submissions for its inaugural issue until 15 Vo (Tordotcom). The winners of
non-fiction and poetry. November, send ‘literary essays that engage the World Fantasy Awards will be
Include full contact deeply with one or more specific films or announced at the World Fantasy
details in the body of the email as well as ‘a other creations of visual sequential art, Convention in Kansas City in
short summary of the work under 100 words, written with insight and care.’. Essays may October, where Peter Crowther and
and a brief bio of 100 words or fewer. be 1,000 to 4,500 words. John Douglas will be honoured
Payment is €0.1 per word for the Payment is €15 per essay. with Life Achievement Awards for
first 1,000 words and €0,04 for every Website: https:// outstanding service to the fantasy
subsequent word. triangularprismquarterly.com field. GD
Website: https://themantelpiece.org PDRLS

66 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 GET PUBLISHED
SHORT STORY COMPETITIONS

The Galley Beggar Press The Ghost Story Supernatural

Short Story Prize 2023/24 Fiction Award Fall 2023
The international short fiction contest has a £2,500 first prize. The winner will be published for Halloween.
The Galley Beggar Press Short Story Prize from Galley Beggar The annual Ghost Story Supernatural Fiction Award has
Press is an international competition inviting entries of original, a first prize of $1,500 and two runners up prizes of $300.
unpublished short fiction from published and unpublished Winners are published online with a custom illustration
writers anywhere in the world. by Andy Paciorek. Winners and runners up will be also
The winner receives £2,500 and each shortlisted author published in the print anthology 21st Century Ghost Stories
gets £200. Longlisted authors receive £50 and a four-book – Volume lll, scheduled for publication by Wyrd Harvest
subscription to Galley Beggar Press. This year’s judges are Press in 2024.
Alex Clark, Chigozie Obioma, Tomiwa Owolade and Susan Enter original, unpublished short stories between 1,500
Tomaselli. and 10,000 words on any paranormal or supernatural
Enter short fiction in any style or genre, up to 6,000 words. theme
Entry costs £10 per story. 200 free entries are being offered The entry fee is $20 per story.
on a first-come, first served basis for writers unable to afford the The closing date is 1 October.
entry fee. Website: https://theghoststory.com/tgs-fiction-award
The closing date is 30 September.
Website: www.galleybeggar.co.uk/prize

Chilling Pen Award

Henshaw Press Short Story Original, unpublished horror stories are invited for the free-to-
enter international Chilling Pen Award.
Competition 2023 The theme for this year’s award is ‘Betrayal’. The winner will
receive $500 and there are second and third prizes of $300 and
$100. All winning pieces will be published on the website and
The next contest closes on 30 September. social media.
The Henshaw Press Short Story Competition is for original, Submissions should be a maximum 1,000 words and there are
unpublished short fiction in any genre. It is now being run by no restrictions on genre or style including, but not limited to,
Hobeck Books Ltd. short stories, essays and poetry. Judges are strong on AI not being
The prizes are £200, £100 and £50. used and any entrant using this will be automatically disqualified
The entry fee is £6 per story. and be banned from all future competitions.
Website: www.henshawpress.co.uk/ The closing date is midnight on 1 October and the winner will
be announced on 31 October 2023. JR
Website: https://chillingpen.org

The Dinesh Allirajah Prize Flash 500 Novel

for Short Fiction 2024 Opening 2023
This year’s competition is for short stories inspired by the theme of
‘The Uncanny’. Win a £500 first prize in the contest for the beginning of a
Comma Press is inviting entries for its annual contest in memory novel manuscript plus synopsis.
of its much-loved director and founding board member, the writer Submit the first 3,000 words of an unpublished novel
Dinesh Allirajah. manuscript in any genre, plus a synopsis no longer than
The theme of ‘the uncanny’ relates to the term first coined by 750 words. Novelists entering the competition may by
Sigmund Freud for an unsettling psychological experience that feels unpublished, published or self published, but the manuscript
strangely familiar. must never have been published in any form.
There is a first prize of £500 and all ten shortlisted writers will be The competition will be judged by Headline Publishing.
published in an ebook anthology by Comma Press. The winner will receive £500 and there is a £200 prize for
Enter original, unpublished short stories between 2,000 and 7,500 the runner up.
words. The entry fee is £10 for one novel, £18 for two, and £26
Entry is free. for three.
The closing date is 22 September. The closing date is 31 October.
Website: https://commapress.co.uk/news/dinesh-allirajah-prize- Website: https://flash500.com/novels/
for-short-fiction-2024

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 67

WRITERS’ NEWS

SHORT STORY COMPETITIONS

F(r)iction Autumn
2023 Contests
US literary journal F(r)iction is inviting entries of new
work, and encourages the submission of work that is
experimental, non-traditional and boundary pushing.
There is a total of $1,600 in prizes to be won. The guest
judges are Cathy Ulrich (short story), Warsan Shire
(poetry) and Sejal Shah (flash fiction).
The entry fee is $10, $12 and $15 for a single poem,
flash fiction or short story, and $12 for three poems or
flash fictions.
The closing date is 3 November.
Website: https://frictionlit.org/contests/

The Bath Flash Fiction Award Seminal Edits 2023

October 2023 Dystopian Fiction Competition
The contest is for short stories or first chapters of a novel with a
The Bath Flash Fiction Award, which runs three times a year, is dystopian theme.
given for original, unpublished short fiction up to 300 words. The first prize in the competition from Pro Publisher is a choice of
The winner will receive £1,000, and there are second and Pro Publisher writing courses plus a self-publishing course. Two runners
third prizes of £300 and £100. Two commendations each get up will each win a self-publishing course.
£30. 50 longlisted entrants will be offered a digital anthology To enter, send original, unpublished dystopian fiction up to 2,000 words.
publication. The Flash Award judge is Sara Hills. Entry is free.
The entry fee at full rate is £9 per flash fiction/£15 for The closing date is 1 October.
two/£18 for three. Website: https://seminaledits.com/dystopian-fiction-
The closing date is 8 October. competition-2023/
Website: www.bathflashfictionaward.com/

W&A Working Class Writers’ Prize 2023

Win a first prize of £200 plus mentoring and development in the The first prize is £200, mentoring sessions with judge Kasim
contest for writers who identify as working class. Ali, access to a number of W&A writing and publishing events,
Now in its fifth year, the W&A Working Class Writers’ Prize a year’s membership of the Society of Authors, a W&A writing
invites writers in the UK who identify as working class and guide bundle and a selection of Bloomsbury books. Five
who don’t have a publishing contract or agent to submit an shortlisted entries will receive a W&A writing guide bundle plus a
unpublished writing sample up to 2,000 words. Submissions may year’s membership of the Society of Authors and support from the
be in any genre, and should include a one-page synopsis of the W&A team.
full manuscript and a 200-word piece of writing about the entrant Entry is free. The closing date is 2 October.
and why this prize speaks to them. Website: www.writersandartists.co.uk/competitions/

POETRY COMPETITION
The East Riding Festival of Words Poetry Competition 2023
The East Riding Festival of Words Poetry competition and the East Riding Secondary
Competition is inviting entries of original, competition both have prizes of £75 and £50,
unpublished poems up to 45 lines, on this year’s and two £25 highly commended prizes in each
theme, which is ‘My perfect place’. age category.
In the adult category, there is an East Riding The judging panel of Yorkshire poets is
Gold Prize of £500, an East Riding Silver Prize of Matthew Hedley-Stoppard, Wendy Pratt and lead
£200, and an East Riding Bronze Prize of £150. judge James Nash.
There are also two £25 highly commended prizes. The East Riding Festival of Words takes place
The entry fee is £4 per poem. between 7 and 21 October.
There are free-entry competitions for The competition closing date is 30 November.
school-age children. The East Riding Primary Website: www.festivalofwords.co.uk/poetry/

68 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 GET PUBLISHED
GENERAL NEWS

WELSH WINNERS
Drift by Caryl Lewis has been named Wales Book of the Year 2023,
whilst Pridd by Llyr Titus is the Wales Book of the Year 2023 in Welsh.
The winners were announced by Literature Wales at a ceremony at the
Tramshed in Cardiff. Lewis has won the Welsh-language Wales Book of
the Year Award twice in the past – for Martha, Jac, a Sianco in 2005 and Y
Bwthyn in 2016 (both published by Y Lolfa) – making her the first writer
to have won the Wales Book of the Year Award in both languages.
Other winners were, English-language Wales Book of the Year; The
Children & Young People Award: When the War Came Home, Lesley Parr;
The Rhys Davies Trust Fiction Award: Drift, Caryl Lewis; The Poetry
Award: As If To Sing, Paul Henry; The Creative Non-fiction Award: And…
a memoir of my mother, Isabel Adonis; Wales Arts Review’s People’s Choice
Award: The Last Firefox, Lee Newbery.
Each category winner received £1,000, and the main winners received
an additional £3,000. The Welsh-language Awards were as follows: The
Children & Young People Award: Dwi Eisiau Bod yn Ddeinosor, Luned
Aaron & Huw Aaron; The Poetry Award: Anwyddoldeb, Elinor Wyn
Reynolds; The Creative Non-fiction Award: Cylchu Cymru, Gareth Evans-
Jones; The Golwg360 Barn y Bobl Award: Sgen i’m Syniad – Snogs, Secs,
Sens, Gwenllian Ellis; The Fiction Award, and Overall Wales Book of the
Year Award: Pridd, Llyr Titus. GD

L W RI
VE T
Turbulent
A

IN
TR

times G
People’s fears can provide writing opportunities. N
W
K

Patrick Forsyth investigates. O W-H O

make no apology for linking to global warming again get people to put their fears behind them; BA call it a Flying with

I this month, to take us into another topic which might

be included in travel writing. If you have ever had a
bumpy flight, you will know the word turbulence. This
is usually defined as being when 0.2 degrees (or more)
Confidence course. I would love to read more about that and wonder
if it works. There are similar fears, or aversions, to other forms of
travel too. The only time I have ever been on a large cruise ship I
felt like death, indeed I practically wished for death. Maybe there is
of force are experienced and is created when the wind shear factor – reassuring stuff to write about sea sickness.
involving a change in wind speed or direction – sets a plane shaking. Most travel writing addresses readers who it is assumed love to
Global warming equals warmer air and warmer air equals more wind travel. The truth of the matter is that, with the exception perhaps
shear. This is increasing, with the number of hours in which flights of the very special (the Orient Express comes to mind) most of
experience this turbulence being, the Met Office tell us, substantially us love to have travelled. And arrived safely. Writing from the
up in recent years. perspective of dislike and fear is likely to provide a novel approach
It may be uncomfortable, but it is not dangerous. Nevertheless and touch on subjects less well documented and thus perhaps easier
many people find that being shaken about makes all logic desert to sell.
them and many (I tried to check but there seems to be no reliable Let’s end with statistics again and the old story of the statistician
estimate) are afraid of flying even without experiencing turbulence. who was scared of flying. Not only did they fear the flying but also
Personally, I am more afraid of getting an unruly child next to me. the prospect of there being a bomb on the plane. A little work with
We know that flying is safer than many a road crossing, but all this a calculator and they discovered that the chances of there being
means there is a broad topic to be addressed. two bombs on a plane was almost vanishingly unlikely; so, to make
For a start, some of the major airlines run courses designed to themselves feel better they always took one with them.

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 69

 Tiny ghost, big deal ANTHOLOGY
By Jenny Roche

Independent publisher Tiny Ghost SUBMISSIONS

Press specialises in publishing young
PDR Lindsay-Salmon
adult novels which feature LGBTQIA+
characters or is written by an author who
identifies as such. The company was
founded in 2021 and is based in London.
Hungry Shadow Press:
‘Little Bastards’
‘We’re interested in everything from
contemporary romance, dystopian
adventures and anything which is
spooky, supernatural or has a speculative Editors Alexis DuBon and Brandon Applegate are putting
element … we’re looking for spooky oddballs, the goth ghouls, the together an anthology entitled Little Bastards for those
teen wolves … haunted houses, romantic werewolves and spells ‘too-short horror stories nobody wants.’ Longer than
gone awry’ said founder and editorial director Joshua Dean Perry. 500 word flash, but not long enough for the 3,000 usual
Submit the first three chapters or 10,000 words of your novel and horror story limit, these stories will find a home in this
a one-page summary which should include the ending. Include also a anthology. The deadline is the 30th of September, 2023.
short query letter with information about yourself and your story. There is no theme for the anthology. Submit creative
Email: [email protected]; website: https:// horror in any genre from 1,000 to 2,000 words.
www.tinyghostpress.com/submissions Payment is US$0.08 per word paid via PayPal, plus a
paperback copy.
The closing date is 30 September.
Website: www.hungryshadowpress.com

NOVEL
COMPETITIONS Chicken Soup for the
Soul anthologies
The 2023 Exeter Novel Prize The Chicken Soup team want to publish an anthology
of funny stories, the zanier the better. They ask writers
Win a £1,000 first prize in the prize for unpublished novels by to search their memories for all those humorous episodes
unrepresented authors. which cheered and made you laugh. The team suggest
The Exeter Novel Prize is an annual competition from Creative things like: senior moments, wedding woes, funeral foul-
Writing Matters, which is awarded for the first 10,000 words of an ups, holiday hiccups and meltdowns, kitchen/dinner party
unpublished novel manuscript by an author who is not currently accidents, sports catastrophes, domestic turmoil, dating
represented by a literary agent. disasters, making fun of yourself, crazy family fun and
There is a first prize of £1,000 and five runners up will each receive foibles
£100. The final judge will be literary agent Hellie Ogden. Submit stories up to 1,200 words, or poems.
To enter, send the opening of the novel and a synopsis not longer Payment is US$250 and 10 free copies. The deadline is
than 500 words. The total word count must be no longer than 20 November.
10,000 words. Novel manuscripts may be in any genre, including Website: https://www.chickensoup.com
children’s and YA. All entries must be original and unpublished.
The entry fee is £20.
The closing date is 1 January 2024.
Website: https://www.creativewritingmatters.co.uk/2023-exeter-
novel-prize.html Air and Nothingness Press
Eyelands Book Awards 2023 Air and Nothingness Press is publishing two anthologies, We
Are All Thieves of Somebody’s Future and Moving Across the
The Eyelands Book Awards from Eyelands and Strange Days Books in Landscape in Search of an Idea.
Greece are given annually in two categories: We Are All Thieves of Somebody’s Future is an anthology
• Published books: The winner receives a five-day stay in Athens about resource scarcity and what happens when the last of
(air tickets not included) and a handmade ceramic. An alternative a critical resource is used up. Submit stories 1,000 to 3,000
prize in case of travel restrictions is translation into Greek of the words, in all genres. The deadline is 31 December.
winning book. Moving Across the Landscape in Search of an Idea is for
• Unpublished books: The winning book will translated into Greek stories with long titles, (250 - 600 words,) concise narratives
and published by Strange Days Books. (250 words - 600 words), and copious footnotes, endnotes,
Ten further prizewinners will each receive a handmade ceramic. marginalia, indices and glossaries (250 - 600 words). The
International entries are welcomed. Enter books and manuscripts word counts may altered between the three parts of their
in English in any of the following: novels, novellas, short story submission, the total word count must be around 1,500
collections, poetry, children’s books, historical fiction, memoir, words for the total submission. Stories may be in any genre
graphic novels. including poetry. The deadline is 31 March 2024.
The entry fee is €30. Payment for both anthologies is US$0.08 per word.
The closing date is 20 October. Website: http://aanpress.com
Website: https://eyelandsawards.com/

70 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

P O E T RY L A U N C H

Three times rhyme

Alison Chisholm introduces WM’s latest poetry competition,
for poems in the terza rima form

T
he terza rima is a particularly charming is certain. It will have been revised extensively, checked
Italian verse form that sits neatly in any poet’s for both the overview of its content to ensure that it has
repertoire of styles, and is the form required something to say, and for every individual word, to see that
for our next Writing Magazine competition. each is the ideal choice for the context.
Meaning third rhyme, this chain-rhymed piece The winner will be enhanced by good use of imagery,
interweaves its chiming sounds among the stanzas. perfect vocabulary choices, and appealing figurative
Although its use by Italian troubadours predates him, language. It will communicate its message with clarity,
Dante Alighieri is recognised as the first poet to apply the perhaps complexity, but not wilful obscurity. A poem is a
form to a long poem, in his Divine Comedy, written early in vehicle of communication, not of confusion.
the fourteenth century. Where Dante used an eleven-syllable If time before the submission deadline allows, it’s a good
line, the terza rima now appears most frequently in iambic idea to put the poem aside for a while between revisions,
pentameters with their ten syllables, counted as five feet each allowing it to ‘settle’ before each subsequent analysis. If the
consisting of an unstressed followed by a stressed syllable.
The poem consists of any number of tercets, and after MASTERING THE DAY
these three-line stanzas there is a final stanza consisting of a
couplet or a single line, rhyming with the middle line of the He tenses, aims, then pulls the trigger, fires,
last tercet. The rhyming pattern is: a b a b c b c d c d e repeats, and watches as his victims fall.
d etc... until y z y z z or y z y z Some jerk like puppets on remorseless wires,
One attractive feature of the form is that it can appear
as a terza rima sonnet, when crafted from four tercets and some crumple as they drop, some reach and sprawl.
a following couplet to give the fourteen lines required of He counts the bodies as each life is stilled -
sonnet form. Similar to the Shakespearean sonnet in tone, a dozen, sixteen, thirty … and they all
it has a final couplet that sums up the poem or creates a
punchline. This is an example. obeyed his orders, played his game. He’s filled
with mingled pride and satisfaction. Here
There are no rules about the subject matter communicated he is the Master, they his slaves. He willed
in the form, and the flexibility of length – here limited only
by the competition rules – means that anything from a brief and they submitted. Now there’s chaos, fear
fragment to an epic can make use of the pattern. resounds in cries, in terror-laden screams,
The counting of rhymes in threes does mean that, after seductive like applause. He’s won. All’s clear.
the opening rhyme of the first and third lines, there have
to be three words for each rhyming sound; and of course Nothing can touch him now, His purpose gleams.
these three words must fit context and meaning perfectly. He hears the sirens punctuate his dreams.
It’s surprising how much harder it is to rhyme three lines
together than two. Remember, it isn’t an admission of
weakness to leaf through a rhyming dictionary, or look at an deadline’s pressing, you can achieve almost the same effect
online version such as Rhymezone.com. Referring to these is by distancing yourself from the writing – taking a walk,
simply a matter of applying the tools of the trade. You will going to the shops, reading a book – anything that will let
soon see if the rhyming options available are adequate or you concentrate on something else for a while. You will
not, and have an opportunity to change a word and set up a return to it refreshed, and see it again
new rhyme if they’re not. in a new light.
Like virtually all poems, terza rimas are enhanced by a Just before you submit, read Submit by 1
5
good title, careful sentence structuring, and appropriate through your entry aloud, listening N o vember. Priz
es
punctuation. These factors are not just the polish on the to the music of your words, and are £100 a
nd
poem, but offered as a courtesy to the reader, in order to listening out for any awkwardness or £50. See p
76 for
make the reading experience as smooth and easy as possible. flaws in the writing. Then you can be full details.
There is no way of guessing the length, content or tone of sure the poem has achieved all you
the poem that will become the winning entry, but one point want from it. Good luck

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 71

 Wonderful things
Alison Chisholm excavates the poems entered for WM’s Tutankhamun Poetry
Competition and finds treasure in the winning entries

WINNER oward Carter asserted that he found

‘wonderful things’ when he opened the
I Rest in Peace sealed doorway to discover Tutankhamun’s
By Melanie Francis sarcophagus. His reaction was reflected in
the wonderful things that emerged from the
A poetry competition celebrating the event a century later. This
few competition inspired writers to seek out every aspect of the
choose to story. The events surrounding the discovery, historical facts,
parade repose. personal reflections, the mythology of the curse, and a range
They slumber entombed of other associated themes brought the poems to life.
in pyramids that climb to the skies, A wealth of knowledge and research was shared, and it
signals to plunderers seeking kings’ riches. was good to note that none of the informative poems were
lecturing, or ‘talked down’ to the reader.
Not I. There were some fine examples of characterisation –
I hide, usually discussed in the context of fiction, but just as
far down important in poetry. The reader was allowed to explore
underground, the situation from under the skin of Howard Carter, Lord
beyond Carnarvon, a servant, the king’s wife, Tutankhamun himself
stone steps, … and was able to identify with the character through
behind immediacy of writing, and imagery permitting a sharing of
sealed walls, sensation and emotion.
quietly, Some of the entries suffered from problems with sentence
patiently, structuring and punctuation, giving the pieces a scrappy,
biding my time, unfinished ‘feel’, but most of the poems followed a well-
awaiting crafted route. One issue that arose several times, though, was
Ra’s arrival. a poem in which the writer had clearly gathered plenty of
information together, and in a surge of enthusiasm tumbled
But wait, what’s that? It cannot be. it all onto the page without following a logical route through
Rocks crash, flares flash. Shouts, voices. the material.
I’m hoisted up, up, ripped from my rest. Perhaps the best way to address this problem is to be sure
Noise drills my skull. A white heat hits me. of allowing time between each of the revisions of the piece.
Hands claw at wraps. I crack, I snap. Immediately after writing a poem, its pathway is clear in
My spirit flickers, emitting a whispered curse. the poet’s mind, and interpreting it is equally obvious. A
few days later, coming to it when creativity’s urgency has
died back a bit, it’s easy to see where logic is fragmented
SHORTLISTED IN WM’S TUTANKHAMUN POETRY and the tumble of thoughts seems completely random. Each
COMPETITION WERE: Guy Carter, Petersfield, Hampshire; successive revision pinpoints such problems more easily still.
Christine Griffin, Hucclecote, Gloucester; Sarah Das Another recurring issue arose in poems that started with
Gupta, Mamuden, Essex; Tracey Kitchen, Daventry, some form of rhyme and metre, but then discarded or changed
Northamptonshire; Lesley Mason, Norwich, Norfolk; Julie them part-way through. There may be an artistic reason for
Shackman, Milngavie, East Dunbartonshire; Sim Smailes, a change of tone or style – but this is a rare exception. It’s
Braintree, Essex; Sylvia Taylor, St. Loup Lamaire, France; usually best to stick to the original pattern throughout.
Elizabeth Holley, Hereford, Hazel Collins, Bedford; Bill The winning poem takes the form of a calligramme – a
Lythgoe,Wigan, Lancashire shape poem in which the positioning of words on the page
is a part of the message they convey. Melanie Francis of

72 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 POETRY WINNERS

Harrow, Middlesex, used simple shapes to illustrate I Rest arises organically from the text.
in Peace. The triangle at the top tells and shows how some Written in quatrain stanzas, the poem uses free verse with
pharaohs would parade repose. The steps leading down carry mellifluous rhythm, which somehow manages to convey both
Tutankhamun behind / sealed walls into the rectangular measured control and intense pain.
underground chamber where he could wait for Ra’s arrival. Perhaps the most exciting part of this poem is its
Instead we encounter the over-exuberance of mortals from a vocabulary. There is always precision. The collar she weaves is
different age. not merely of flowers, but rich with the blue of cornflowers
Some calligrammes demand their shape to make sense contrasted with the Oxtongue blossoms, golden like the sun.
of their message. Thanks to the poet’s skill, this is not the Adding the olive leaves and berries clarifies the picture still
case here. Although the poem is enhanced by its shape, it is further, but the qualification given to each – brought from
not dependent on it; so it could be shared in a reading and sacred royal gardens and described as glowing blood-red, bright
remain effective and powerful. as glass respectively – provides an extra dimension, adding
The physical sections divide the poem into three stanzas, depth to the visual effect.
and each has its message to communicate. We move from the The contrast in the third stanza sees the description of their
factual information about the pyramid’s presence enticing loving tender, and sweet as honey set beside the reverence of
grave robbers, into the king’s persona and the descending the priests’ bathing and anointment, bringing home the sense
passage with its stone steps and sealed walls, which will be of finality and hopelessness while using only about thirty
familiar to anyone who has entered Tutankhamun’s tomb. words. This economy of language that still expresses so much
The third section shows how the anticipation of Ra’s coming is a demonstration of the poet’s concentration of wording
is shattered, and the boy king describes from his angle the without sacrificing effectiveness or emotion.
well-documented account of Carter and his team crashing Not just the two winners, but the whole shortlist and
into the chamber, shouting and exclaiming, hoisting the various other entries provided ‘wonderful things’ for this
body up, grabbing its wrappings, breaking brittle bones and competition. Studying them has been a dip into a very
wrenching away body parts. In those six lines, culminating in special hoard of gold.
the curse, the whole situation is conjured for the reader who
is left reeling from it.
From the start, Melanie has used slant rhyme to give RUNNER UP
music to the words. In the first section we see choose / repose,
climb / skies, and seeking kings’ riches. But as soon as we hit Lamentation
the staircase, the intensity of sound effects is ramped up. By Amanda Wales
The mournful diphthong -I sets the tone in I. / I hide, and
another sustained diphthong follows in down / underground. In the morning, I shall gather cornflowers,
The alliteration and consonance in stone steps / sealed walls Oxtongue blossoms, golden like the sun; fetch
use the whispered hiss of sibilance, and the two adverbs Olive leaves from sacred, royal gardens,
quietly, patiently bring in neat unaccented rhymes before we And berries, glowing blood-red, bright as glass.
return to more assonance of -I with biding my time.
In the chaotic account in the last section, we find more As my tears fall, I shall weave a jewelled
alliteration and consonance, internal full rhyme, repetition Collar, more precious than a golden
and assonance; then in the final line, such luscious use of the Diadem inlaid with lapis, my gemstones
sighing -I and -ss sounds that you feel compelled to speak it Grown and nurtured by the sacred river.
aloud, over and over. If anything demonstrates true poetry,
this is it. You favoured me above all other women,
The second prize is awarded to Amanda Wales of Elham, Our loving tender, and sweet as honey.
Kent for Lamentation, a moving and intensely beautiful Now priests bathe your body in desert salt,
poem narrated by Tutankhamun’s wife. Within just twenty Anoint you with oil and perfumed resin.
lines, the poet carries us through the initial stages of shock
and mourning. It’s as if Ankhesenamun is functioning on Beloved, as Anubis waits to weigh
automatic as she plans to weave for her husband a collar of Your heart, my own lies heavy in my breast.
flowers, and thinks through the rituals of preserving his body As you enter the realm of Osiris,
and his journey into the afterlife. Here she sees herself tear I tear my gown, and smear my face with earth.
my gown, and smear my face with earth, and as she anticipates
the sealing of his tomb, admits she will sense grief boundless When they seal the chamber with your name,
as the summer floods. My treasured husband, cursing those who dare
Throughout all this we are given information regarding To plunder, and to desecrate your tomb,
Tutankhamun’s gold regalia, the rituals of death and the fear My grief rises, boundless as the summer floods.
of grave robbers. The information is never force-fed, but

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 73

WINNER

THE METHOD
BY WENDY HOOD

ussel Smith can’t quite He is a rude and obnoxious man the prospect of living with a villain.
believe his eyes as he looks who antagonises everyone he meets, He is quite sure that he will never
at the newly-posted cast list except for the leading lady who understand women.
on the notice board. He seems to connect with him and who The next morning, Russel goes for a
walks towards the director, becomes his love interest. With her, he walk. He doesn’t take his usual interest
who smiles when he sees him coming. explores different sides of his character, in the buds forming in the neatly
“I’m so sorry to bother you, but I sometimes cruel and abrasive, and other trimmed gardens that he passes, and
wondered if there might possibly have times charming and attentive, wooing he ignores the melodious chirping of
been an error with the casting sheet. her and luring her into his fantasies, the blackbirds in the hedgerows. He
You see, I didn’t audition for...” which culminate in him killing her keeps his head down, his mind mulling
“Ah, Russel, yes, em, no there’s no in the final scene. This is quite unlike over everything he has read so far. He
mistake. We just thought you might be any part he has played before, in fact, reaches into his pocket to fetch his
more suited to this role. We thought the whole play is much darker than handkerchief, and an old bus ticket
you’d be up for the challenge of trying anything the company has attempted and a sweet wrapper fall out onto the
something new.” previously, and he finds himself quite pavement. He starts to bend down to
“I’m not sure I understand. I always on edge at the prospect of entering such pick them up without thinking about
play the good guy.” a bleak mind. it, and has to stop himself. Leave it! He
“Yes, but the hero in this particular Russel looks at the calendar and wouldn’t pick it up. He grits his teeth
play is supposed to be a good-looking sees that he has a couple of weeks and walks on.
young fellow, twenty years your junior, before rehearsals begin, so he starts his By the time rehearsals start, Russel’s
and you know what they say; time waits homework in earnest. His first port transformation is well underway. He
for no-one, and there’s only so much of call is the internet, searching for has no problem walking away from
that make-up can achieve.” Stuart fiddles anything he can find on sociopathic conversations he doesn’t want to
with his pen as he chuckles at his own personalities, and the first thing he have, or refusing to make the tea. His
joke, and Russel finds himself nodding learns is that the term sociopath has behaviour causes ripples in the cast.
and smiling as though it’s no big deal. been replaced by Antisocial Personality “He’s always been such a well-
As he walks home, he mulls over the Disorder. The more he reads, the mannered gentleman,” Rose says. “I
implications of this. There’s a good greater the chill inside him grows. don’t know what’s got into him.”
reason why he never auditions for the “Would you like a cup of tea dear?” “Perhaps this part he is playing has
parts of villains, but on the other hand, His wife pops her head around the gone to his head,” someone else suggests,
it’s a big role, and it’s not in his nature door, interrupting his research. and they shrug their shoulders and carry
to argue. So, how does one get into the “No, thank… Erm, no, leave me on with what they were doing.
mind of a stone-cold killer? He thinks alone!” Russel says tentatively. He starts The first few weeks of rehearsals
to himself. And just like that, the to doubt whether he will be able to pull go well. Russel can feel his character
transition begins. this off, but his wife winks to encourage forming inside of him. His facial
He reads the script, committing his him. She seems to be unphased by his expressions and tone of voice are no
lines to memory, but that’s the easy shift to the dark side of the cast, in fact longer those of Russel Smith, but they
part. This character is a sociopath. if anything, she seems quite excited at are perfect for the part. By the time

74 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 VILLAIN SHORT STORY WINNER

they have got through the first act, to him. He is struggling with After many years working as a
pretty much everyone in the cast steers this scene because he doesn’t chartered physiotherapist and
clear of him off-stage. actually know what it is like to university lecturer, Wendy decided
“You know, I wasn’t sure about kill someone. He doesn’t know to follow her creative passion and
casting you in this part,” Stuart says to what the knife feels like when completed an MA in Creative Writing
him when they finish rehearsing the it enters a living, breathing body, and in 2022. She was short-listed in the
last scene in the first act. “I thought he doesn’t know how watching the soul 2022/23 Comedy Women in Print
you might be a bit too nice to pull it disappear from the eyes of someone Short Story Prize, which resulted in
off, but I have to hand it to you, you’re you love would affect him. Everything her first publication in an anthology.
absolutely nailing it. I think we’ve all else in the play comes naturally to him As well as writing, she also loves
seen a different side of you these last because he has been immersed in it for reading, paper-crafting and making
few weeks, which is fabulous for the months. He has lived every line of the music, and can often be found riding a
play, but some of the cast are getting a play until it is part of his core fabric, tandem with her husband or walking
bit concerned that you might be taking but he is pretending the last scene along the sea front near home in the
it a little too far off stage, if you know because he genuinely doesn’t know how North East of England.
what I mean?” to act it.
“No, I don’t actually.” Russel says, “Brilliant!” Stuart says after the Actually...” He turns to her and smiles,
and he can see Stuart squirm under his rehearsal. “That was exquisite!” Russel but these days his smile doesn’t venture
intense stare. “Acting isn’t pretending. doesn’t reply. That might have been true much past his lips, and he knows it stops
Acting is doing. You know the method of the rest of his performance, but not short of his eyes. “Can we practice the
and you gave me this part, so deal with the last scene. There was nothing brilliant last scene just one more time?”
it!” And he strides out of the theatre. about that, because it wasn’t authentic. His wife returns his fake smile with a
When they come to the second act, These people don’t know the genuine one. He can see the excitement
things don’t go quite so well. The play difference between acting and in her face, and she is so eager to
finishes with the villain killing his love pretending, but I do! He walks home please. She knows all the lines now, like
interest, and for some reason Russel slowly, turning the dilemma over and a good understudy. “Of course, dear.
is struggling to pull that scene off. At over in his mind. He passes a butcher’s Where would you like me?”
home, he practices each scene with shop and gets an idea. Russel Smith Russel hides his irritation, just like his
his wife playing the part of his love wouldn’t enter the shop, because the character does at this stage in the play.
interest. She is no actress, but she does smell of death that hangs around the She knows the final scene is a bedroom
her best, and with his direction she is meat has always repulsed him, but he scene, so where does she think he
getting better at slipping into role, but barely notices it. He buys a slab of meat would like her? He looks past her to
no matter how he tries to mimic the and quickens his pace, eager to see if the stairs, which are visible through the
murder scene, it never feels quite right. his plan will work. When he gets in, he kitchen door, and she takes the hint.
On the day of the dress rehearsal, unwraps the meat and puts it onto a The next night is opening night, and
Russel is so deep into character that he chopping board, then he takes a knife there’s a buzz around the theatre as the
no longer responds to his own name. and plunges it into the lump of raw curtain raises. Just like the day before,
In costume and with his make-up on, flesh, trying to savour the feeling of Russel melts into his character and
he is the villain and he lives the part. resistance against the blade. He closes his performance is flawless. The final
His lines and actions come to him as his eyes, imagining that the meat is his scene approaches, and this time as he
naturally as breathing and he glides lover, but it doesn’t feel real. lifts the knife, he stays in character
through the rehearsal without having “What are you doing, dear?” His wife as authenticity oozes out of every
to think about it, until it comes to that asks as she hovers at the kitchen door, pore. There’s a collective gasp in the
last scene. At that point, he is ripped looking at him with a furrowed brow. audience as his portrayal takes them to
out of character and experiences an He rarely ventures into the kitchen, so the darkest places of the human mind,
identity shock that is as powerful as a he isn’t really surprised at her curiosity. and he knows the reviews are going to
physical assault. That’s when it comes “Just trying something out… be outstanding.

RUNNER UP AND SHORTLISTED

The runner up in WM’s Villain Short Story Competition is Sussex; Katie Kent, Bicester, Oxfordshire; Chloe Gambell,
Dominic Bell, Hull. You can read his story at Burwash, East Sussex; Phil Gilvin, Swindon; Barb Hawryluk,
www.writers-online.co.uk/writing-competitions/showcase Winnipeg, Canada; Christine Michael, Shipston-on-Stour,
Warwickshire; Sally Miles, Leamington Spa; Gillian Sharp,
Also shortlisted were: Joan El Faghloumi, Seaford, East Barnes, London; Richard Smith, Bedford

www.writers-online.co.uk OCTOBER 2023 75

COMPETITION LAUNCHES AND RULES
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OPEN
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This month we’re inviting flash fiction on any theme
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Ref code: WRO/OCT23/500WORDS
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POETRY
TERZA RIMA
Test your formal poetry skills in this contest for
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£15O three-line stanzas with an interlocking rhyme.
TO BE The prizes are £100 and £50, and we’ll publish both
WON winners in the April 2024 issue of the magazine.
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 ST I L L T I M E TO E N T E R
SUBSCRIBER-ONLY:
BACK TO THE EIGHTIES
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OPEN: BLUE
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Interpret the ‘blue’ theme in
Closing date 15 October.
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UNDER THE COVERS

With a new novel needing to be written, Gillian Harvey is

procrastinating rather than getting stuck in

his week I’ve been mostly procrastinating. study as a writer. I now understand what it feels like to both
This is new territory for me. I’m usually want to start something and … not to; the heady mix of
diving into projects, getting things underway distant stress and present denial that procrastinators juggle.
before deadline. Itching to start. Especially Sadly, though, procrastination hasn’t come with all the
when it’s something creative. perks I’ve been led by Twitter to believe come hand in hand
But although I’m meant to be working on my next novel with work avoidance. My house is no cleaner than it was
right now, I’m feeling uncharacteristically reluctant. before. I am still embarrassingly behind with the household
It’s unexpected, particularly as I’m excited by the idea admin. I have not baked a single thing. And I’m not even
itself. I’ve done a bit of research, made some notes, mapped having fun.
out my characters. I’ve even found some random pictures on My deadline is still a distant two months away, but if I
Google to help me to describe them more accurately. want to finish my draft without losing what little cool I
I am in a position to be able to write. THIS IS MEANT have, I need to take myself in hand.
TO BE THE FUN BIT. And I’ve found a way to force myself to commit.
So why I am I putting it off? TikTok.
Maybe it’s because when I write a novel, I have to write Yes, like all unfathomably youthful people I am indeed a
some of it every day. I’ve found it’s the only way to stay on TikToker, and no my children are not at all embarrassed. I’ve
track, and actually meet a deadline. I don’t lose threads, I decided I’m going to report my ‘journey’ with little videos
keep the story fresh in my mind and somehow chapters and even share ‘live’ writing sprints.
seem to sort themselves out during the afternoons, so they’re I’m also going to work on filling some of my pesky ‘free
fresh for the morning. time.’ Scheduling in a bit of cleaning, a bit of exercise.
But this fully immersive approach means that I can’t just Maybe even a bit of self-care (has anyone seen the tweezers?).
dip my toe in the water of starting. I’m IN or I’m OUT. If I fill the ‘spare’ time I have, I will once again be forced to
And if you’ve ever seen me at a beach or swimming pool you start in whatever moments I have left.
will already know that plunging in is not my signature style. See? I’ve got this.
I’ve also got more time than usual. I’ve ditched a little of I’m not worried. Not even a tiny bit. Yet.
the freelance work (not all of it, as originally planned – it felt Because I know (hope) that when I do start (which is
far too terrifying). But my days are now clearer. This should definitely going to be on Monday, pinkie promise) I will feel
mean I have PLENTY of time to dedicate to my novel. that pull I always do when working on a novel; the urge to
The problem? When ‘now or never’ becomes ‘now or later’ sit down and hammer out a chapter each morning, if only to
it’s far too easy to choose the lazy option. get it out of the way.
So here I am. Poised to start, but failing to launch. And I’m making a commitment to you, too, dear reader.
Crouched on the metaphorical diving board of novel writing That I will report back in next month’s column that at least
like Mr Bean at the municipal pool, clutching onto the 15 chapters have been penned.
edges, being glared at by a small, hostile child, and terrified Or, if I’ve continued to kick the project down the road,
that if I let myself drop I’ll probably see my swimming I’ll at least have the decency to have a tidy house, filled
costume floating on the other side of the pool on impact. with the smell of hundreds of freshly baked and thoroughly
It kind of sucks. unnecessary cookies.
But it’s also kind of useful. I mean, if I’m going to procrastinate, I might as well do
I mean, like every new experience, it’s something I can it right.

78 OCTOBER 2023 www.writers-online.co.uk

 Learn To Earn
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 2023
Ghost story, gothic and supernatural fiction day

Following on from the success of 2022’s inaugural event,

WINTER HAUNTS returns with a packed day of workshops,
talks and interviews for writers and readers of the Gothic,
the ghostly and the supernatural!

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REGISTER YOUR PLACE TODAY!

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