The words you use

Use as "few" words as possible without impacting the meaning

of what you're conveying. State your message briefly and
clearly by:

 Eliminating unnecessary words. For example, instead of

saying "Our entire team will be implementing this new
procedure in the not too distant future." say "We'll
implement this procedure soon."
 Using active voice. For example, instead of saying "Travel
will be reduced because of budget cuts." say "Budget
cuts will reduce travel."
 Avoiding absolute words. Absolute words don't allow any
exceptions. When you use them too often, people
perceive you as critical or judgmental, which can make
the person you're speaking to feel defensive and stop
listening. For example, instead of saying "You always
arrive late." say "You often arrive late."

The tone and pace at which you communicate

The tone and pace at which you communicate is "how" you say
something rather than "what" you say. The way you speak
often reflects how you feel. When you feel angry or excited,
your speech tends to become rapid and high pitched.

Manage the tone and pace at which you communicate. A

hurried pace can make the listener feel anxious and rushed. A
slower than normal pace can make the listener feel as though
your message is not important.

Focus on intonation when you speak. When you're talking face-

to-face, raising or lowering your voice adds emphasis to an
idea. Pausing also adds emphasis. In written communication,
using bold, italics, or all caps adds emphasis. Be sure to be
judicious; using more of something might not make it better.

The non-verbal message of your body language

Non-verbal communication plays an important role in the
delivery of your message. You want your words, voice, and
body language to be consistent with each other. Use the
following physical cues to add content to your communication:

 Manage your facial expressions. For example, don't frown

while giving someone a compliment.
 Maintain eye contact.
 When presenting, occasionally move around to other parts
of the room or among the audience.
 Avoid doing anything that might distract your audience
from the message. For example, using colloquial
language, clicking a ball point pen, playing with a marker,
and so on.
 Use hand gestures appropriately. This one can be
particularly tricky; for instance, did you know that the
thumbs-up sign is considered offensive in certain
cultures?
Remember, some of these cues may need to be modified or
avoided based on local culture.
Maintaining your message
In global organizations it's important for employees to be able
to communicate and collaborate across borders and cultural
differences. Here are some tips you can use for cross-cultural
communication:

 Avoid slang or jargon. The danger is that the words will be

understood, but the meaning will be missed.
 Be supportive and patient with team members who do not
speak the same native language.
 Be careful with humor. Think about whether your message
will be understood in another culture.
 Separate your questions. Don't ask double questions such
as, "Do you want to carry on or shall we stop here?"
 If you are unsure whether something has been
understood, write it down and check for understanding.
 Speak clearly and ensure your pronunciation is
intelligible.

Active listening

Give your full attention to the speaker

 Stop what you are doing and pay attention. For example,
don't multitask or chat over messaging apps with others.
 If you are listening in person, face the person who is
speaking.
 Reflect on the meaning of the words and listen to how
they are being delivered.
 Set aside your internal commentary to understand the
message.
 Try to understand the meaning of the message. This
includes the content and the emotional aspect of the
message.

Pay attention to non-verbal messages

 Identify the speaker's body language or other expressive

means when working virtually. For example, listen to the
tone of the speaker's voice or look for other

"visuals" such as emoticons ( ) to signify feelings in

virtual communication.
 Determine how the speaker feels about what he or she is
saying based on body language. When working virtually,
this is often the only way you can pick up non-verbal
messages.
 Blend the non-verbal cues with the words and feelings to
completely understand the message.

Focus on the total message

 Look for connections between ideas that the speaker is

expressing.
 Think of phrases that identify the "big ideas."
 Identify a single phrase that sums up the entire message.
 Use empathy

 Ask yourself how you would feel if roles were reversed.

 Consider the speaker's feelings.
 Be nonjudgmental.
 Don't trivialize the speaker's issue.
 Focus on the feeling behind the words.
 Reflect on the words and the feelings.

Ask questions

 Clarify your understanding of the message.

 Demonstrate interest in what is being said or
communicated.
 Engage in dialog that can deepen your understanding.

Close-ended and Open-ended Questions There are two types of questions you can ask: close-ended and
open-ended. And they both work well under certain circumstances. Close-ended questions can be
answered with a "Yes" or "No." Ask close-ended questions when you want to finalize an idea or need
specific facts. A close-ended question is not useful when you want to share ideas or have deeper
discussions. For that, use open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a "Yes" or "No."
Understanding what these two types of questions can do enables you to use questioning as an effective
communication technique.
"I keep six honest serving men (they taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When and How and Where
and Who."

 There's para-verbal communication, which is about how

you say things, including the tone, speed, pitch, and
volume.
 There's non-verbal communication, which is about the
gestures and body language that accompany your words.
 There's also written communication, which takes place
through email or the written word.

Written

Advantages Disadvantages

 Precise  It's easy to ignore your message.

 Thorough  Your message can get lost in a long list of emails.
 Durable  Your intent might be misunderstood.
 CC email lists and "Reply All" can be a nuisance.
 Your message might be scanned rather than read carefully.
 Your humor might be misinterpreted and cause offense.
 It's easy for someone to forward your note to an unintended
recipient.
 Verbal

Advantages Disadvantages

 Convenient  Your calls can be screened.

 Quick  Different time zones create availability issues.
 Voice can be compromised by poor audio quality, ambient
noises, or both.
 Multitasking and distractions can compromise the recipient's
focus.
 There is little or no documentation of what was said.
 It's difficult to read non-verbal signals.
 It's not a good way to discuss controversial issues or deliver bad
news.

Face-to-face

Advantages Disadvantages

 Shared body  It can be expensive if parties are distantly located.

language  It can be time-consuming to plan.
 Emotional and  It's difficult to arrange or reschedule if additional meetings are
factual needed.
information  Key takeaways are frequently not documented.
 Conversations can get sidetracked easily.

Barriers to communication

The messenger
People often have a tendency to believe what they want to
believe, forming their impressions based on a small amount of
information or one experience, and assume the message to be
highly representative of the whole situation or person.

Don't be distracted by the speaker's communication style,

appearance, or reputation. Focus on the message, not the
messenger.

Personal agenda
Instead of listening to what someone is saying, often people
spend time thinking about the questions they want to ask the
speaker before they've finished delivering their message. Or
they think about how to bring up another issue that concerns
their needs.

Try to listen and put aside any personal motives or interests,

question your perceptions, and then formulate your reply.

Information overload
It's difficult to continually listen when someone is presenting a
lot of information. It's also hard to retain all the facts in a long
email.

Try to step back and look for the key points that are being
conveyed.

External distractions
External "noise," such as a cell phone ringing, messaging app
pings, or side conversations, can be distracting. Minimize
external distractions.
 Inner voice
Certain words and actions by a speaker can set off one's inner
voice, causing a negative emotional noise. Making
assumptions and ignoring details can lead to misconceptions.

Key learning points in this topic

 Three elements of effective communication are:

o The words you use
o The tone and pace at which you communicate,
o The body language you demonstrate.
 When you practice active listening, you need to:
o Give your full attention to the speaker.
o Pay attention to non-verbal messages.
o Focus on the total message.
o Be empathetic.
o Ask questions.
 You should ask questions to help you understand the
message and context more effectively.
 Choosing the proper communication channel for your
message is critical. These communication channels
include verbal, face-to-face, and written.
 Barriers that you must overcome to communicate
effectively include:
o Focusing on the messenger.
o Focusing on personal agendas.
o Information overload.
o External distractions.
o Emotional reactions.
What does assertiveness mean?
A common perception is that being assertive is the same as
being aggressive, but it's not true. Both assertive and
aggressive communication involve stating your needs;
however, the difference lies in the way you do it.
Assertiveness is the ability to express your rights, feelings,
thoughts, beliefs, and opinions in an open manner that
respects the rights of others.
In addition, in a globally connected workplace, it's essential to
be sensitive to the fact that your well-intentioned assertive
behavior might be perceived or received differently by global
colleagues, especially from an authority perspective.

Behavior patterns

Assertive

People behaving assertively demonstrate self-confidence. They

are honest and clear with their views and encourage other
people to share their views. They believe their rights should
not be denied, but they will not pursue those rights at the
expense of others. People demonstrating assertive behavior
speak calmly, with no fear of not being heard. Consequently,
they rarely feel the need to interrupt others and are in firm
control of their emotions.

Aggressive

People displaying aggressive behavior believe that their rights

must be respected at any cost. They are prone to thinking they
can't be wrong and are not very receptive to other opinions.
They like to be in control and tend to speak loudly, sometimes
interrupting others. They can come off as intimidating and
rude.

Passive-aggressive

Passive-aggressive behavior is a sneaky, hidden form of

aggression. People behaving passive aggressively will conceal
their feelings, but they secretly set traps or maneuver behind
the scenes to get their way and punish those who've crossed
them. Because of their hidden or pent-up feelings, people
exhibiting passive-aggressive behavior can come across as
dishonest and ambiguous.
 Passive

People behaving passively display low self-confidence. They

don't speak their minds and hardly ever stand up for
themselves. Passive behavior is often the outcome of people
believing that other people's rights and views carry more
weight than their own. People behaving passively fear
confrontation and will avoid any risk of disturbing
relationships. They rarely say "No" and rarely contribute to
group discussions.

Being assertive

Speaking assertively
Speak assertively by doing the following:

 Use "I" statements. Ask for what you need without

undermining others' needs.
 Be direct and honest. Express your feelings and make
your needs known using neutral language.
 Be respectful. Balance your communication style so that
it is not too aggressive or passive aggressive.
 Avoid exaggerating. Stay true to facts and your feelings
without blaming others.
 Avoid hesitating. Speak with clarity and confidence
without being uncertain.
Behaving assertively
Pay equal attention to your body language and tone of voice by
doing the following:

 Try your best to be calm. Be honest about your feelings

and avoid being resentful or nervous.
 Be confident. Don't let irrational fears erode your
confidence.
 Be aware of your facial expression. Try and match your
facial expressions and body language with what you are
saying.
 Pay attention to your non-verbal communication. Ensure
that your non-verbal communication is in tune with your
assertive tone.

Challenging situations
It helps to be assertive in the following situations:

 Disagreeing with someone: You are able to listen to the

other person's point of view, respect it, and offer a
counterview without upsetting anyone.
 Asking for help: You are able to understand the situation
and know that asking for help is not admitting weakness.
You realize that it's a sign of positive thinking.
 Standing up for yourself: You are able to share your point
of view without disrespecting others or undermining their
point of view.
 Saying "No": You are aware of the situation, understand
the other person's feelings, and know that you are not
alienating your peers and managers.
Key learning points in this topic

 Assertiveness is important to your success in the

workplace.
 Assertiveness can help you positively influence your
coworkers and manage challenging situations.
 Assertiveness is different from other common behaviors
found in the workplace such as:
o Aggressive behavior
o Passive-aggressive behavior
o Passive behavior
 The way you speak, and your body language can impact
your ability to act assertively.

Two key types of influence

Personal influence and eminence are two key types of
influence.

1. Personal influence is based on your personality and

depends on how you engage with people.
 2. Eminence is your reputation for skills valued in the
marketplace and by our clients.

Pooja demonstrated her personal influence by proposing a solution and thenused empathy and potential
benefits to persuade her team to try the solution.Consider how Pooja behaved and how she convinced
her teammates to try heridea.

• She asserted her idea.• She remained confident.• She listened attentively.• She sympathized with
theworries of her team members.• She was honest about the risksand the benefits.

• She made suggestions.• She explained the benefits.• She tactfully counteredobjections.• She offered
to help with atemplate.

Story summary
People usually do what they believe is in their best interest.
It's important for you to look at a situation from the other
person's perspective and understand the impact of the
situation on that person. If you can do this, you'll be better
equipped to exert personal influence.
In the example with Pooja, she was able to address her team's
concerns and understand their point of view. She practiced
active listening and assertive communication. This allowed her
to increase understanding within her team to make them feel
at ease, gain trust, and exert influence.
By using emotions and facts, Pooja was able to influence her
team. Next, you'll explore how you can use both emotions and
facts to influence people around you.

Using emotions and facts to influence others

 Emotions

 Link positive emotions to proposed solutions and

outcomes.
 Link negative emotions to continuance of status-quo or
context and initiate a call to action.
 Relate your emotions to show personal experience and
understanding and to connect with the idea.

Facts

 Highlight facts over unverified or biased opinions to

create persuasive arguments.
 Use facts to emphasize your study and mastery of the
topic or content.
 Present facts to support logical arguments.

How can you develop your personal influence?

 Share credit with others.

 Accept leadership assignments.
 Lead and manage teams with clarity, efficiency, equality,
and cordiality.
 Share ideas and seek collaboration to enhance them.
 Volunteer for tasks and assignments.
 Eminence
Your eminence depends on these factors
 Skills you build.
 Expertise you showcase.
 Respect you have earned.
 Knowledge that's exclusive to you.

Ways to build your eminence

 Stay abreast of developments in your area of expertise.
 Help others, inside or outside your team.
 Look for opportunities where your skills and knowledge
can be used and shared.
 Articulate your viewpoints confidently.
 Back your arguments with rationale.
 Remain open to suggestions and ideas, and learn from
others.
 Use blogs and wikis, as approved by your organization's
social computing guidelines, to share your expertise or
experiences.
 Create and run simple presentations to explain your ideas
to people inside and outside your team.

Key learning points in this topic

 The two key types of influence

are personal and eminence.
 Develop your personal influence by:
o Using facts and emotions
o Sharing credit with others
 o Accepting leadership assignments
o Leading and managing teams with clarity, efficiency,
equality, and cordiality
o Sharing ideas and seeking collaboration to enhance
them
o Volunteering for tasks and assignments
 You can use a variety of strategies to build your eminence
in the workplace. This topic provided you with many
suggestions.
 Through the use of personal influence and eminence, you
can not only positively influence your coworkers, but also
achieve professional growth.

Five steps to help you handle conflict

Analyze your feelings

The first step in dealing with conflicts or challenging
interactions is to identify what bothers you. At the beginning
you'll be thinking about what's wrong from your point of view
rather than from someone else's perspective. This is fine, as
long as you realize that you're not done until you understand
the other side's position as well.

Ask relevant questions

Remove personal elements such as your biases or desires.
Identify the "what," "who," and "when" aspects of the conflict.

Avoid thinking about "why." This can get personal and

assumes that you know more about the other party than you
probably really do. Remember, at this stage, your focus is only
to identify the various aspects of the challenge.

Avoid generalizations
Avoid generalizations like "too much" or "constantly."
Generalizations are not supported by facts and reflect
individual opinion. As such, they can color your judgment and
make resolution more difficult to achieve.

Avoid judgmental phrases

Avoid using judgmental phrases such as "weak" or "too proud."
Too much judgment, too early in the process, makes resolution
more difficult rather than easier to achieve. You want to find
the best solution to a problem, even if it's one you haven't
thought of or, at first, did not think you could agree to.

Drop loaded-action phrases

Avoid using action phrases such as "hogs all the credit" or
"obsesses." Loaded action phrases can hamper the accuracy
of your analysis. At this point, you've gotten to a description of
the problem that's more accurate and less emotionally loaded.
Both things are crucial if you want to resolve the situation
fairly.

Six steps to giving feedback

Step 1: Ask for permission

When you ask for permission, you're not asking, "Can I share
feedback with you?" You know that feedback is important and
needed, but at the same time, you want to respect the other
person's context and time.

Here are some ways in which you could ask for permission:

 "Do you have a moment? I’d like to talk about ..."

 "Is there a time when we could discuss ...?"
  "Do you have time for a suggestion? If not now, is there
some other time we could do this today?"

Step 2: Pinpoint behavior and its result

Next, you should describe the behavior and its result. And as
you do this, remember to remain assertive without becoming
aggressive or defensive.

Suppose you wanted to say, "When you shout at meetings and

act all bossy, I feel like walking out of the room." What would
be a better way to phrase that? Perhaps you could say, "When
you raise your voice during meetings, I feel as if you're
demeaning the contributions of the team."

Step 3: Pause for the receiver to respond

At this point, it's appropriate to pause for the receiver to
digest what you've said so far. The other person might even
choose to respond, but don't force them to respond. Do not ask
a question like "Is this ok?" or "What do you think?" because
the other person might find it unsettling or even
confrontational. If the other person needs to say something at
this time, don't worry, he or she will say it.

If they respond, keep a neutral expression. You want to look

like you're open to whatever the receiver might say.

Step 4: Articulate the change you'd like to see

Respectfully suggest the change in behavior that you'd like to
see. Ensure that it's something within the other person's
power to change.

Avoid using an aggressive tone. For example, instead of

saying, "Make sure this doesn't happen again," you could say,
"It would be helpful if you are cognizant of the effect you are
having."

Step 5: Explain the reason for the suggestion

Now, explain why you're making the suggestion. Suppose you
wanted to say, "I'm telling you because everyone on the team
is sick and tired of your behavior." A better way for you to
phrase that would be, "I think team members would find the
new atmosphere conducive to contributing ideas freely."

Step 6: Check for understanding

Finally, you want to check that your understanding is the same
as that of the other person. Your goal is to courteously make
sure that your feedback was received accurately and not
misunderstood. To do that, you could ask questions such as:

 "What do you think?"

 "Would this work for you?"

Proper ways to receive feedback

Just as there is a proper way to give feedback, there is also a
proper way to receive it. When someone is giving you
feedback it is important to take the following steps:

1. Listen without interrupting or justifying.

2. Ask for clarification.
3. Reflect on the message.
4. Thank the person giving the feedback.
5. Take action.
6. Follow up.
 Also, you should avoid these inappropriate behaviors when
receiving feedback:

 Anger
 Defensiveness
 Outright denial
 Ignoring it

 Blaming others
 Crying
 Shutting down
 Retaliating

Key learning points from this topic

 Conflicts have two sides. You should approach challenging

situations with an open mind.
 Identify these aspects of conflict: what, who and when.
 Avoid these behaviors in conflict situations:
o Making generalizations
o Making judgements
o Using loaded action phrases
 Feedback is an extremely effective mechanism for dealing
with interpersonal challenges. Skill and tact are required
when giving and receiving feedback.
 The six steps of giving feedback are:
o Step 1: Ask for permission to provide feedback.
o Step 2: Pinpoint behavior and the result of that
behavior.
o Step 3: Pause for the receiver to respond.
o Step 4: Articulate the change you'd like to see.
o Step 5: Explain the reason for the suggestion.
o Step 6: Check for to ensure that the receiver
understands the feedback.
  The steps of receiving feedback include the following:
o Step 1: Listen to the feedback without interrupting or
justifying your behavior.
o Step 2: Ask for needed clarifications.
o Step 3: Reflect on the message of the feedback.
o Step 4: Thank the person giving you the feedback.
o Step 5: Take action based on the feedback.
o Step 6: Follow up with the person who gave the
feedback.
 Remember that asking for feedback helps counteract
blind spots.

How do people resolve workplace conflict?

Different people respond to disagreements in different ways.
Here are four options that list common ways in which people
respond to disagreements.
1. Competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding,
accommodating
2. Negotiating, demanding, compromising, conceding,
fleeing
3. Shouting, pleading, whispering, whining, crying
4. Agreeing, disagreeing, remaining neutral, covering up,
abandoning

Conflict response styles

Competing
The competing style can feel aggressive to others and is
indicative of a mindset where "winning is the most important
thing." Competing is appropriate when you need to act, such
as in a crisis situation when there's no time to consider
diverse opinions. You can also use it if your core values need
to be defended or it's important to have it your way. However,
it can leave people feeling hurt, dissatisfied, and resentful
when used in less urgent situations.

Collaborating
The collaborating style can feel like mutual teamwork where
"two heads are better than one." Collaborating is useful when
everyone's concerns are too important to be compromised. It's
also useful when you want to learn from others, merge
different views, and gain consensus.

Compromising
The compromising style can feel like settling things the easy
way where the decision is to "meet halfway." Compromising is
appropriate when you are under time pressure to find a
solution, when the conflict cost is higher than the cost of
losing ground, or when both parties need to save face.

Avoiding
The avoiding style can feel like backing away from the problem
and indicate a mindset where one would "rather not deal with
this." Avoiding conflict can be appropriate when the issue is
not that important, when the disruption of dealing with the
conflict will cause more damage than good, or when you have
no chance of satisfying your concerns. When emotions are
high, it's best to avoid further confrontation until those
involved have calmed down.

Accommodating
The accommodating style can feel like valuing the relationship
more than individual needs, indicative of a "have it your way"
orientation. Accommodating is useful for preserving harmony
and if the issue is not that important to you, but is to the other
person. This response is also good if you are at fault.

Resolving complex challenging situations

Be prepared.

 Gather all the facts, not just the ones that prove your
position.
 Suggest a neutral location that's nobody's "home ground."
 Stay calm and suggest ground rules for treating each
other with respect.

State the facts as you see them.

 Try not to make judgments.

 Don't act like you're right and they're wrong.

Invite other parties to state the facts as they see them.

 Listen actively and respectfully.

 Restate the other side's points to let them know you're
listening.

Clarify the issue.

 Ask questions to learn more about the other side's

position.
 Pinpoint facts when you are giving feedback.
Look for points of compatibility.

 Identify things that both parties desire.

 If you don't agree, move on before everyone gets
frustrated.

Resolve disagreements.

 Brainstorm new alternatives.

 Look for a win-win solution.
 Give a little! Winning 90 percent is better than nothing.

Managing challenging interactions

Be hard on the issue, not the person.

Focus your energy on resolving the problem rather than
blaming the person.

Spot problems early on.

Use an active approach to prevent major issues from
snowballing into major conflicts.

Use feedback to prevent problems from growing.

Start with feedback to prevent small problems from growing
into larger problems, but don't make the mistake of thinking
that you should always start with feedback! If, for example,
there are conflicting priorities that need to be addressed, it
might be best to resolve them directly, bypassing the feedback
process.

Use conflict resolution for serious issues.

 Use conflict resolution when feedback will no longer work or
because a disagreement has become difficult to resolve
without serious negotiation.

Key learning points in this topic

 Your ability to manage challenging interactions is a

valuable skill. Effectively managing challenging
interactions can make the workplace more comfortable
for you and everyone on your team.
 Five conflict-response styles are competing,
collaboration, compromising, avoiding, and
accommodating. The collaboration style is superior for
achieving a win-win outcome.
 Use this six-step process to overcome disagreements and
resolve challenging interactions through collaboration:
1. Be prepared.
2. State the facts as you see them.
3. Invite other parties to state the facts as they see
them.
4. Clarify the issue.
5. Look for points of compatibility.
6. Resolve disagreements.