THE PLAY

THAT GOES
WRONG
HIGH SCHOOL EDITION

BY HENRY LEWIS,
JONATHAN SAYER
& HENRY SHIELDS

DRAMATISTS
PLAY SERVICE
INC.

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 THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG (HIGH SCHOOL EDITION)
Copyright © 2022, Mischief Worldwide Ltd.

GOES WRONG®, THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG®, , MISCHIEF®

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Worldwide Ltd. www.MischiefComedy.com.
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THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG (HIGH SCHOOL EDITION) is fully protected under
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Inquiries concerning all other rights should be addressed to the appropriate person or
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Additional copyright information concerning the West End and Broadway productions
of THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG is included at the back of this volume.
NOTE ON BILLING
Anyone receiving permission to produce THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG (HIGH
SCHOOL EDITION) is required to give credit to the Authors as sole and exclusive Authors
of the Play on the title page of all programs distributed in connection with performances of
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Be advised that there may be additional credits required in all programs and promotional
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SPECIAL NOTE ON SONGS/RECORDINGS
Dramatists Play Service neither holds the rights to nor grants permission to use any songs
or recordings mentioned in the Play. Permission for performances of copyrighted songs,
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agreement. The permission of the copyright owner(s) must be obtained for any such use.
For any songs and/or recordings mentioned in the Play, other songs, arrangements, or
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the public domain may be substituted.

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 INTRODUCTION

We’re so delighted that The Play That Goes Wrong is now available
to high schools, and we hope teachers and students alike enjoy
reading the play and getting it up on its feet.
Although performing this show requires technical precision and
rehearsal, the main thing we want to encourage is that you have fun
working on or studying this play. Comedy is always at its best when
created in a room full of laughter and explored in a space where
everyone is able to express themselves freely. So stay truthful,
support one another, and make sure you have a good time as you
get to know the characters and the wonderful world of the Cornley
Drama Society. Good luck making Mischief.
—Henry Lewis, Jonathan Sayer & Henry Shields

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 CHARACTERS

As with any play-within-a-play, you have the complication of the

characters of the actors doing the play-within-the-play and the
characters within the play-within-the-play. To make it a little simpler,
the names are laid out below in two lists: firstly the members of the
Cornley Drama Society who are putting on the play, and secondly
the characters of The Murder at Haversham Manor. The text always
uses the actors’ names rather than the characters’ names.

Members of the Cornley Drama Society

(in order of appearance)

ANNIE is the company’s stage manager. American accent. (F)

STAGE CREW (6–8), the Cornley Drama Society stage crew. (M/F)
TREVOR (or TAYLOR, if female) is the company’s lighting and
sound operator. American accent. (M/F)
CHRIS (short for Christine, if female) is the head of the drama
society, directed the play and plays Inspector Carter. (M/F)
JONATHAN plays Charles Haversham. (M)
ROBERT (or RACHEL, if female) plays Thomas Colleymoore (or
Mary Colleymoore). (M/F)
DENNIS (or DENISE, if female) plays Perkins. (M/F)
MAX plays Cecil Haversham and Arthur the Gardener. (M)
SANDRA plays Florence Colleymoore. (F)

The action takes place on the opening night of the Cornley Drama
Society’s production of The Murder at Haversham Manor by Susie H.
K. Brideswell. Present day.

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 Characters in The Murder at Haversham Manor
(in order of appearance)

CHARLES HAVERSHAM, the deceased. (M)

THOMAS (or MARY) COLLEYMOORE, Charles’ old school
friend. (M/F)
PERKINS, Charles’ butler (or maid). (M/F)
CECIL HAVERSHAM, Charles’ brother. (M)
FLORENCE COLLEYMOORE, Charles’ fiancée and Thomas’/
Mary’s sister. (F)
INSPECTOR CARTER, an esteemed local inspector. (M/F)
ARTHUR THE GARDENER, the gardener at Haversham Manor.
(M)

The action takes place in Charles’ private rooms at Haversham

Manor on the evening of Charles and Florence’s engagement party.
Winter 1922.

SCRIPT NOTE

The stage direction “vamp” indicates improvised dialogue or action.

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 PERFORMANCE NOTES

The preshow and interval activity should be subtle, incidental and

not draw the full attention of the audience. The show should not feel
like it’s begun until Trevor/Taylor addresses the whole audience.
A crucial thing to remember when performing this piece is to tell
the story of The Murder at Haversham Manor. That is what the
actors of Cornley are setting out to do and as such should be what
the cast of The Play That Goes Wrong are setting out to do. The
characters of the actors you will no doubt work on in detail, but
their temperaments and flaws should shine through the cracks in
their performances and not suffocate the action. Always try to tell the
murder mystery story and play the Haversham Manor characters.
Without that solid structure to support the comedy, the show will
unravel.
Everything in the show must of course be played for truth and not
for laughs or parody. For Cornley this show is not a comedy, it’s a
serious play, and it is so important to them all that it goes well, so
when it goes wrong it hurts.
We’ve also found it useful to remember that the actors of the Cornley
Drama Society are not bad actors but the victims of unfortunate
circumstance. The comedy comes from their unwavering endeavour
to continue, their bad choices in trying to get out of the situations
they find themselves in and their optimistic belief that their luck
will change.
The same is true of the set, costumes, lighting, sound and all other
elements of the production. Everything that goes wrong should be
a choice, and everything that doesn’t go wrong should go perfectly
or (in the case of the physical production) look perfect. The better
the production looks, the more of a journey there is to the complete
destruction that occurs in the later stages of the play.
In essence it is vital everyone works to present “the play that goes
wrong,” not “the play that’s being done badly.”

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 THE PLAY THAT
GOES WRONG
ACT ONE

The setting is the private rooms of Charles Haversham, a

young, wealthy man of the period. The room is a wing of
“Haversham Manor.”
There is a fireplace s. r. with a picture of a King Charles
spaniel hanging above it. Two swords hang s. r. of the fire-
place on a flat, and a coal scuttle stands s. l. of the fireplace.
There is a large window (open into the room) in the centre of
the stage with red velvet curtains closed over it and a grand-
father clock to the left of it, with the time set to five o’clock.
There is a door in between the fireplace and window. A large
heraldic shield hangs above the door, and a jacket hook and
barometer hang on either side of it. Next to the clock flat is a
bookcase packed with books (rotates) and s. l. of that is a
blank flat. There is a door to the study on the s. l. side of the
blank flat.
A chaise longue littered with cushions stands d.s. l; a small
table stands d.s. r. with a telephone and a vase on it. d.s. l. of
the study door is another small table set with a tray of glasses.
Set apart from the stage is a tech box complete with computer,
faders and littered with empty drinks cans, etc. The tech box
is visible to the audience and is where Trevor/Taylor will be
seen operating lights and sound for the show.
Dramatic house music plays.

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 Preshow Activity:
As the audience enters, Trevor/Taylor is finishing off hammer-
ing the set into place.
Two members of stage crew are searching the theatre for a
missing Duran Duran CD* and for Winston, a dog needed for
later in the show.
Chris greets members of the audience as they arrive, in his/
her best tuxedo.
Annie is by the fireplace, trying to stick a mantelpiece above it
and trying to stick an old journal to the mantelpiece. She
enlists the help of an audience member and gets them to hold
the mantelpiece in place before disappearing offstage. Trevor/
Taylor appears and commandeers the audience member to
sweep the stage. As they start sweeping, the head of the broom
falls off. Annie reappears and brings the audience member
back to help with the mantelpiece. She sends them to get her
tool kit. The mantelpiece is eventually stuck in position over the
fireplace and the audience member is sent back to their seat.
Trevor/Taylor comes to d.s. c. Annie scuttles off.

TREVOR/TAYLOR. Good evening, ladies and gentle—

The mantelpiece falls off the wall. Annie emerges from the
wing.
ANNIE. (To the audience member.) You said that was fine.
TREVOR/TAYLOR. (Aside to Annie.) Just leave it, leave it.
Annie and stagehands start to try and repair the mantelpiece.
Trevor/Taylor address the audience.
Okay, welcome to The Murder at Haversham Manor. Can I kindly
request that all your cell phones and other electronic devices are
switched off and please note that photography of any kind is strictly
prohibited. Also if anyone finds a Duran Duran** CD box set any-
where in the auditorium, that is a personal item and I want that

* If music by a different band is used on pages 45 and 77, adjust this activity appropriately.

** If music by a different band is used on pages 45 and 77, change “Duran Duran” appropriately.

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 back. Please drop it at my tech box at the end of the show. Enjoy the
performance.
House and stage lights go down. Trevor/Taylor exits s. l.
(On his/her radio but broadcast to the whole theatre.) Alright, can
we prepare for lights up on Act One, note for the cast Winston is
still missing, we need to find him before the guard dog scene—
CHRIS. Trevor! Trevor!/Taylor! Taylor!
TREVOR/TAYLOR. (Still over the speakers.) —we need him back
in his cage as soon as possible. What’s Annie doing onstage? Get
her off so Chris can do his/her stupid speech—oop!
Trevor’s/Taylor’s microphone cuts off. Annie and stagehands
haven’t finished repairing the mantelpiece. Chris enters from
the s. r. wing in the darkness.
CHRIS. Leave it. Just leave it.
ANNIE. You need it…
CHRIS. We don’t have time.
Annie hurries off into the wings, taking the mantelpiece and
tool kit with her. Spotlight comes up on Chris, cutting off his/
her head.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and…
Chris steps forward into the spotlight.
…welcome to the Cornley Drama Society’s presentation of The
Murder at Haversham Manor. Please allow me to introduce myself;
I am Chris (Chris short for Christine if female.), the director, and I
would like to personally welcome you to what will be my directorial
debut and my first production as head of the drama society.
Firstly, I would like to apologise to those of you involved in our
little box office mix-up. I do hope the six hundred and seventeen
(Change house size as appropriate.) of you affected will enjoy our
little murder mystery just as much as you would have enjoyed
Hamilton. (Change to a name of a show playing at a theatre nearby.)
We are particularly excited to present this play because, for the first
time in the society’s history, we’ve managed to find a play that fits
the number of society members perfectly. If we’re honest a lack of
members has sometimes hampered past productions, such as last
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 year’s Chekhov play…Two Sisters. Last Christmas’ The Lion and the
Wardrobe. Or indeed our summer musical, Cat.
Of course, this will be the first time the society has been able to stage
a play of this scale and we are thrilled. It’s no secret we usually have
to contend with a small budget, as was evident in our recent
production of Roald Dahl’s classic James and the Peach. Of course
during the run of that particular show the peach we had went off,
and we were forced to present a hastily devised alternative entitled
James! Where’s Your Peach?
Anyway, on to the main event, which I am confident will be our
best show yet! So, ladies and gentlemen, without any further ado,
please put your hands together—
If the audience starts to clap too early, Chris can say “not yet.”
—for Susie H. K. Brideswell’s thrilling whodunit—The Murder at
Haversham Manor.
Chris exits into the s. r. wing. Spotlight down. Trevor/Taylor
takes up his/her position in the tech box. Darkness. Music.
Jonathan (playing Charles Haversham) enters through the
darkness from the s. r. wing. He trips and falls over. The lights
suddenly come up on Jonathan on the floor. He freezes. The
lights go out again. Jonathan takes up his position: dead on
the chaise longue, with his arm outstretched onto the floor.
The lights come up again just before he’s fully in position.
Knocking at the s. r. door. Robert/Rachel (playing Thomas/
Mary Colleymoore) and Dennis/Denise (playing Perkins the
Butler/Maid) can be heard behind it.
ROBERT/RACHEL. (Off.) Charley! Are you ready? We’re all waiting
downstairs to raise a glass to your engagement. Charley?
Robert/Rachel knocks on the door.
Come along now, Charley, you’ve been in there for hours now. If I
didn’t know better I’d say you were having second thoughts about
the wedding. (Chuckles.) Charley? Hang it all, Charley, if you won’t
come out, we’ll come in.
He/She tries handle.
Damn it, he’s locked the door. Hand me those keys, Perkins.

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 DENNIS/DENISE. (Off.) Here they are Mr./Miss Colleymoore.
ROBERT/RACHEL. (Off.) Thank you, Perkins. Let’s get this door
open. We’re coming in, Charley! We’re coming in!
Robert/Rachel tries to open the door, but it won’t budge.
Dennis/Denise and Robert/Rachel hammer on the door to
try and open it.
(Still off.) There we are. We’re in.
Robert/Rachel and Dennis/Denise dart around the side of
the set to enter.
But what’s this? Charles, unconscious?
DENNIS/DENISE. Asleep surely, Mr./Miss Colleymoore.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Damn it, Perkins, I hope so.
DENNIS/DENISE. I’ll take his pulse.
Dennis/Denise takes Jonathan’s pulse on his forehead. Jonathan
slowly tilts his head to move Dennis’/Denise’s fingers down onto
his neck.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Blast! I knew something must have been
wrong, it’s not like Charles to disappear like this.
DENNIS/DENISE. Sir/Ma’am, he’s dead!
Lights snap to red. Dramatic musical spike. Lights snap back
to the general state.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Damn it, Perkins, he can’t be! He’s my oldest
friend.
DENNIS/DENISE. He’s not breathing, sir/ma’am, and there’s no
hint of a heartbeat.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Well I’m dumbfounded. He was right as—
Robert/Rachel crosses in front of the chaise longue, treading
on Jonathan’s outstretched hand.
—rain an hour ago.
DENNIS/DENISE. I don’t understand. He can’t be dead. He was as
fit as a fiddle. It doesn’t make sense.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Of course it makes sense. He’s been murdered!

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 Lights snap to red again. The same dramatic musical spike.
Lights snap back to the general state.
Good God. Where’s Florence?
DENNIS/DENISE. She’s in the dining room, sir/ma’am. Shall I
fetch her?
ROBERT/RACHEL. At once, Perkins, and quickly.
DENNIS/DENISE. But she’s bound to have one of her hysterical
episodes.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Charles! Dead! What a horror.
Robert/Rachel crosses the stage and steps on Jonathan’s hand
again. He/She removes his jacket/her shawl.
But do you think it was murder, Perkins?
Robert/Rachel hangs the jacket/shawl up on a hook on the wall.
Or do you think perhaps—
The hook holding the jacket/shawl falls to the floor.
—it was suicide?
Lights snap to red. Dramatic musical spike. Lights snap back
to the general state.
DENNIS/DENISE. Suicide? Mr. Haversham? Not possible! Never
was there a man with more zest for life than Charles Haversham.
He was young, rich and soon to be married. Why on earth would
he commit suicide?
ROBERT/RACHEL. But why on earth would anybody want to
murder him? Charles was such a gentle fellow.
DENNIS/DENISE. Generous, kind, a true… (Reads a word written
on his/her hand.) philanthropist. (Pronounced “phill-an-throp-ist.”)
He never had an enemy in his life.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Until today, it seems.
DENNIS/DENISE. Shall I telephone the police, sir/ma’am?
ROBERT/RACHEL. The police? They wouldn’t make it out here
for days in this snowstorm.
Robert/Rachel opens the curtains to reveal falling paper
snowflakes.

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 No.
Robert/Rachel closes the curtains again.
I’ll telephone Inspector Carter, he/she lives just the other side of the
village.
He/She picks up receiver.
He’ll/She’ll be here in next to no time. Hand me the phone, Perkins.
Robert/Rachel realises he/she already has the receiver.
Thank you, Perkins.
Dennis/Denise sits on Jonathan.
Good evening. Give me Inspector Carter… I know it’s late… Damn
it, I don’t care about the weather. There’s been a murder. Someone
murdered Charles Haversham!
Lights change to red. A musical spike plays again. The lights
shift back to the general state but the music continues. It cuts
out briefly.
That’s right.
The music continues. Dennis/Denise keeps trying to get up,
thinking the spike will stop, and repeatedly sits back down
on Jonathan until he pushes him/her off.
That’s right!
TREVOR/TAYLOR. (Over the speakers.) Sound effect error on cue
four.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Thank you.
He/She hangs up.
He’s/She’s on his/her way.
DENNIS/DENISE. Inspector Carter?
ROBERT/RACHEL. They say he’s/she’s the best damn inspector in
the district, he’ll/she’ll crack this case and quick.
Robert/Rachel crosses the stage, stepping on Jonathan’s hand
again.
DENNIS/DENISE. Very good, sir/ma’am, and what shall I do?
ROBERT/RACHEL. Lock every door, man./Lock every door.
Robert/Rachel crosses the stage again. Dennis/Denise follows.

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 Jonathan sharply moves his hand out of the way of Robert’s/
Rachel’s foot. Once Robert/Rachel has passed, Jonathan
replaces his hand. Dennis/Denise treads on it as he/she follows
Robert/Rachel past the chaise longue.
Not a soul gets out of Haversham Manor until the killer is found.
DENNIS/DENISE. At once, sir/ma’am.
ROBERT/RACHEL. …And assemble everyone in here.
DENNIS/DENISE. Right away, sir/ma’am.
Dennis/Denise goes to leave through the s. r. door, but it still
won’t budge.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Good God! Charles Haversham murdered at
his own engagement party!
Robert/Rachel sees Dennis/Denise stuck onstage and repeats
his/her line to stall.
Good God! Charles Haversham murdered at his own engagement
party! What a grim, grim night.
He/She turns sharply to the door.
Florence!
We hear a bang as Sandra tries to get in through the s. r. door.
SANDRA. (Off.) Charley! No! I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
Robert/Rachel goes to try and open the door. Sandra appears
in the window, holding apart the curtains.
My God, he looks so frail lying there. His skin is cold to the touch.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Don’t touch him, Florence.
SANDRA. I must!
ROBERT/RACHEL. You mustn’t!
SANDRA. You controlling brute/fiend, unhand me!
Robert/Rachel pretends to release Sandra’s hand.
Oh, who could do such a thing? The night of our engagement party.
Cecil, quick! Your brother’s dead.
DENNIS/DENISE. This way, Mr. Haversham.
MAX. (Off.) I’m coming, Miss Colleymoore!
We hear three loud bangs on the door. On the third, the door

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 suddenly bursts open, revealing Max, Annie and members
of stage crew who had all been attempting to open it.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Get out, you idiots.
They all quickly run off.
MAX. My brother? Dead? It can’t be!
Sandra now enters through the door.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Calm yourself, Cecil. Pour him a stiff drink,
Perkins.
DENNIS/DENISE. Right away, sir/ma’am. Charles always kept his
scotch right there on the side table.
MAX. You know my brother had the finest collection of scotch in
all the county.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Don’t you think I know that, Cecil? He was
my best friend.
MAX. Well he was my brother, Thomas/Mary.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Hang it all, Charley dead.
SANDRA. My fiancé dead, I can’t bear it.
ROBERT/RACHEL. You aren’t to leave my sight this evening,
Florence.
Dennis/Denise goes to the d.s. l. table and produces the full
bottle of scotch.
DENNIS/DENISE. Oh my God! He’s drunk the whole bottle, sir/
ma’am. There’s not a drop left.
Realizing his/her mistake, he/she goes to the coal scuttle and
empties the bottle into it.
There’s not a drop left!
The bottle is now empty.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Hang it all, there’s another on the table.
Dennis/Denise produces the empty bottle he/she should have
got the first time.
DENNIS/DENISE. Yes, sir/ma’am, of course you’re right, this one’s
full.
Dennis/Denise puts the bottle onto the tray of short glasses

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 on the d.s. l. table and carries the tray past the window.
As Dennis/Denise passes the window, Annie/Stagehand leans
through and exchanges the empty bottle for a full plastic bottle
labeled “PAINT THINNER” with a large flammable symbol
on it. Dennis/Denise doesn’t see the switch.
ROBERT/RACHEL. This is horrifying. I mean who on earth would
have a motivation to murder Charles Haversham?
SANDRA. I can’t imagine!
MAX. It’s madness! My brother was a good man. Who would kill
him? I’m in shock, Thomas/Mary.
ROBERT/RACHEL. As am I, Cecil. As am I.
MAX. My brother, murdered in his own home! This is unthinkable!
SANDRA. This is more than my nerves can take. I simply can’t
stand it. Thomas/Mary, I think I’m becoming hysterical!
ROBERT/RACHEL. No, Florence! Not another one of your episodes.
Calm yourself. Here, take one of your pills.
MAX. Oh Florence, this is unbearable.
Sandra begins to scream and pound Jonathan’s chest. Jonathan
flinches.
Thomas/Mary, I feel I shall pass out.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Perkins! Pour that man a stiff drink!
Dennis/Denise arrives at d.s. r. and offers a glass to Max.
MAX. Thank you, Perkins.
ROBERT/RACHEL. There, there, Florence, well done, deep breaths.
Dennis/Denise pours the paint thinner into Max’s glass. Sandra
becomes calmer.
SANDRA. This is terrible, just a week after our engagement.
MAX. Well here’s to a good brother.
Max raises his glass and drinks the paint thinner. He quickly
spits it back out.
That’s the best whiskey I’ve ever tasted.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Have another, to calm your nerves.
MAX. Make it a double!

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THIS PLAY IS
NOT OVER!

Thank you for reading this free sample.

Continue reading to see what happens in Act Two, or
visit our website to purchase the full text.

www.dramatists.com
 ACT TWO

Dramatic house music plays.

The house lights fade; shouting is heard behind the tabs.
Chris emerges from under the tabs. A spotlight comes up on
him/her.

CHRIS. Good evening again, ladies and gentlemen, I hope you

have enjoyed the break, we will be resuming this evening’s perfor-
mance momentarily I am assured. I… I must say I’m delighted to
see that so many of you have returned for the second act.
Obviously I would be lying if I said the first act went entirely as
rehearsed, there were one or two minor snags, which you may or
may not have picked up on. But they are snags that you would
expect to see in any production. And this certainly hasn’t been the
worst first act Cornley Drama Society has seen by some stretch.
Chris gives a hollow laugh.
Just last year due to a casting error Cornley Drama Society had to
present Snow White and the Seven Tall Broad Gentlemen. Anyway—
Chris is interrupted by Trevor’s/Taylor’s voice over his/her
radio.
TREVOR/TAYLOR. (Over radio.) …No, it’s going quite badly to be
honest.
CHRIS. Before we begin again—
TREVOR/TAYLOR. (Over radio.) Yeah, she’s still unconscious and
we still can’t find the dog—
CHRIS. Trevor/Taylor! Before we resume the production one word
of health and safety administration: Could I please ask anyone who
consumed any of the salted nuts available during the intermission
to please seek medical help immediately.
And now I present to you the concluding act of The Murder at
Haversham Manor.
Chris exits s. r. Spotlight out. Music. The tabs fly out, revealing

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 chaos as Annie, Max, Robert/Rachel, Dennis/Denise, Jonathan
and the stage crew all rehang the picture, barometer, curtains,
etc. They see the audience. Chris enters from the s. r. wing. He/
She gestures offstage and the house tabs fly back in.
Beat. The house tabs fly back out, revealing Robert/Rachel,
Dennis/Denise, Chris and Annie in their positions from the
end of Act One. Jonathan, Max and the stage crew have
gone. All wall hangings are back in position. Beat.
DENNIS/DENISE. No one could—
All wall hangings crash down to the floor. The cast clear every-
thing into the wings.
No one could have killed him, except for the people who are in this
room.
CHRIS. Good God, you’re right, it’s one of us!
All gasp.
ANNIE. (Reads from her script.) This is a disaster.
ROBERT/RACHEL. And it’s not over yet! Two murders on one
night at Haversham Manor, what a grizzly evening.
ANNIE. Frightful brother/sister, frightful.
DENNIS/DENISE. And look, Mr./Miss Colleymoore, the snowstorm
outside is building.
Max/Stagehand appears in the window and throws snow out.
ROBERT/RACHEL. If we’re not careful we’ll be snowed into this
slaughterhouse. We must discover the guilty person.
CHRIS. Indeed. The gunshots were heard coming from the library.
I shall investigate the room. All of you remain here.
Chris exits through the s. r. door. As he/she opens it, Jona-
than is revealed standing in the doorway ready to go on. He
swiftly moves out of view.
ROBERT/RACHEL. This whole business is a disgrace. Now let us
remind ourselves of what we know.
DENNIS/DENISE. We know that Charles Haversham was found
murdered here, in his own private rooms, on the night of his engage-
ment party.

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 ROBERT/RACHEL. We know that his fiancée was involved in an
affair with his own brother, Cecil. How could my sister behave in
such a way?
ANNIE. Not now, Thomas/Mary. We know that he too was
murdered on the same eve, in cold blood.
DENNIS/DENISE. The only thing we don’t know is who the
murderer is.
ANNIE. Oh, the tension in this house is…
Annie trips up and drops her script on the floor. The pages of
her script go everywhere. Annie tries to pick up the papers,
but they are all out of order.
Oh, the tension in this house is. Oh, the tension in thi… oh it… oh,
it’s tense.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Florence. How do you feel now?
ANNIE. (Ad-libs, brightly.) I’m good.
ROBERT/RACHEL. That’s dreadful.
ANNIE. (Ad-libs.) Oh dreadful, yes, I want to die!
ROBERT/RACHEL. That’s the spirit, Florence.
DENNIS/DENISE. But now, Miss Colleymoore, I must ask you
an important question. Where were you when the murder was
committed?
Dennis/Denise mimes the line to her. He/She points down
and mimes drinking a cup of tea. Annie misinterprets.
ANNIE. On the floor with a moustache.
ROBERT/RACHEL. That makes perfect sense. So was I.
Annie reads off the wrong page of the script.
ANNIE. Kiss me a thousand times, I’m yours!
ROBERT/RACHEL. Of course, Florence, that’s what brothers/
sisters are for.
DENNIS/DENISE. This is a disaster! And already it’s midnight.
Trevor/Taylor plays a loud clock chime twelve times.
That was most—

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 Trevor/Taylor hits the chime again. He/She sees he/she has
confused Dennis/Denise and stops.
…that was most—
Trevor/Taylor hits the chime again and laughs to him/herself.
TREVOR/TAYLOR. (To Dennis/Denise.) Sorry, go on.
DENNIS/DENISE. That w—
Trevor/Taylor hits the chime again. Chris opens the study door.
CHRIS. Trevor/Taylor!
Chris closes the study door.
DENNIS/DENISE. That was most ominous. (Pronounced “omoo-
noose.”)
ROBERT/RACHEL. Ominous indeed.
Chris enters from study, holding a gun.
CHRIS. Colleymoore/Miss Colleymoore, I must speak with you
privately.
ROBERT/RACHEL. At once, Inspector.
Other actors stay on even though they should have exited.
CHRIS. I must speak with you, Thomas/Mary.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Of course, Carter.
CHRIS. Are you sitting comfortably?
ROBERT/RACHEL. Most comfortably, Inspector.
CHRIS. Before we speak, I must check that no one else is in earshot.
ROBERT/RACHEL. No one else is here, Inspector.
Actors scatter, realizing they should have left.
CHRIS. Very well. Colleymoore/Miss Colleymoore, I have found
the weapon that was used to kill Cecil Haversham.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Good Lord, where was it?
CHRIS. In the library, lying on the table. Muzzle warm and the
barrel still smoking.
ROBERT/RACHEL. Someone killed Cecil with this?
CHRIS. Yes, less than half an hour ago.
ROBERT/RACHEL. But who?

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THIS PLAY IS
NOT OVER!

Thank you for reading this free sample.

To purchase the full text, or to obtain
performance rights, please visit

www.dramatists.com
 DIRECTOR’S MANUAL

Greetings fellow artists and educators! The notes and comments

below are from the pilot version of this edition, from the directors,
actors, and student technicians of The Woodlands High School in
The Woodlands, Texas. With a show this technically demanding
and so dependent on timing, we went through A LOT of trial and
error to figure out how to bring this show from Broadway/the West
End to high school theaters. Hopefully these notes can give you
ideas on how to make your show amazing!
If you ever have any questions about how we did something or
just want to pick our brains, do not hesitate to reach out. We can
email, phone chat or Zoom with you to help out. We loved this
rehearsal process, loved this show and we think it is the perfect way
to bring joy and laughter to your students and audiences.
Sincerely,
Matthew Peters ([email protected]) and Heather Collins
([email protected])
The Woodlands High School Theater
www.twhstheater.com

General Notes
1. A show within a show is always a challenge for any company.
The best piece of advice we received from the authors of the show
was that for the actors of the Cornley Drama Society this is a drama
and a serious play. Just like any show that you have produced, you
want it to go as well as possible. The same is true for all the Cornley
actors. Do not play for the laughs, but instead let the unfortunate
circumstances (the things that are going wrong), and how the
actors react to them, be the comedy. When things go wrong for
them, it hurts. Keep this in the back of your mind when blocking
and rehearsing for the show. I had this on a Post-it Note on the
front of my script so that I would always see it before rehearsal!
2. When auditioning for the show, we would encourage you to
do some improv games with your students. This show is based on
comedic timing and was created by an improv troupe, Mischief.
Those actors who can understand improv comedy will excel at a
show like this!
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 3. HAVE FUN! This is a challenging show but don’t forget to
have fun with it and let your actors/technicians play. If your cast and
crew are having fun, this show will be one you will never forget!

Rehearsals/Performance Notes
1. We would start every rehearsal with the basic diction and
energy warm-ups, but we encourage bringing in some improv
warm-ups. This will help with that reaction timing needed for a
show like this.
2. Get off book as quickly as possible! This show is dependent
on actors making eye contact and interacting with each other. The
quicker your actors can do that, the stronger your comedic timing
and moments will be.
3. Take a few rehearsals to talk about what brought the character
to the Cornley Drama Society, their acting experience, and the
relationships to one another. Another note from the authors is to
think of this as a junior college company. Figure out the hierarchy of
the company, who has been there the longest, personal relationships,
and what do they want out of this performance and acting company.
This helped us immensely in determining how the actor would react
with a specific scene partner and when things go wrong.
4. Another solid note we received from the authors of the show
is that every actor in Cornley has a performer flaw. When things go
wrong, that flaw is magnified and we see the cracks in their perfor-
mance and the actor, rather than the character. Think about those
stereotypical actor flaws and start there. Find the flaw in each
Cornley member and this will help when rehearsing the show.
5. Before every show we would have a gag/fight call; I would
encourage you to do the same. It helped keep it fresh for actors and
technicians and caught any issues from the set being constantly
beat up. See the end of this manual for an example. After the gag/
fight call we would then do hair, makeup, and costumes.

Technical Notes
1. Your technicians are essential to make things go “wrong.”
The sets and props become a character of their own, and your tech-
nicians are important for that to happen. We had two technicians
who would come onstage to help when needed and would also help
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 Additional Copyright Information

The right to recreate the West End and Broadway productions of

THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG and/or to promote a
production on the basis that it is a version of those productions
is expressly reserved to the owners of the copyright and
trademark-protected contributions to those productions and
their advertising, specifically:
Directions © 2013 Mark Bell & Mischief Theatre Ltd.
Set Design © 2013 Nigel Hook
Lighting Design © 2013 Ric Mountjoy
Costume Design © 2013 Roberto Surace
Sound Design © 2013 Andy Johnson
Original Compositions © 2013 Rob Falconer

Falling G Logo TM ® © 2013 Mischief Worldwide Ltd.

and any incorporation of material elements of such contributions
in a production given under a Dramatists Play Service licence
and without a separate licence to incorporate such contributions
is a breach of this licence and of copyright law.

Advertising and promotion of a production given under this

licence in a way which suggests to the public a connection with
or that the production concerned is a version of the West End
and/or Broadway production by incorporating the Falling G
Logo or other material elements of those productions’ publicity
which may reasonably be expected to create this suggestion in
the public mind is a breach of trade mark and/or other applicable
law.

All such breaches are strictly forbidden.

If in doubt as to whether what you intend to do may be a breach

of the above provisions, you must contact the Play Service before
disseminating the doubtful matters to the public in advertising
or production.

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 Notice to Professional Licensees Interested in Presenting a
Version of the Tony® Award-winning Broadway and West End
Production of the Play

Without prejudice to the above notice, the above rights and digital
and physical resources to realise the contributions are available on
a basis to suit a wide variety of production capabilities of
professional licensees of the Play upon application to Mischief
Worldwide Ltd. at www.MischiefComedy.com.

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