The Dry Drunk Syndrome (Chaptered Book)

The Syndrome of the
Dry Drunk Syndrome

José Antonio Elizondo López
Index
Foreword 7
Introduction 10
Chapter 1 14
The two-headed dragon 14
Chapter 2 17
Chapter 3 22
Symptom number 1 22
The boy king 22
Chapter 4 25
Symptom number 2 25
Masters of excuses and champions of pretexts 25
Chapter 5 28
Symptom number 3 28
The bitter scorpion 28
Chapter 6 32
Symptom number 4 32
Sailing under a guilty flag 32
Chapter 7 37
Chapter 8 42
Symptom number 6 42
Fear of fear: the need not to feel 42
Chapter 9 48
Symptom number 7 48
Depression: that never-ending agony 48
Chapter 10 54
Symptom number 8 54
The mach-o-less 54
Chapter 11 62
Chapter 12 67
Symptom number 10 67
Transforming in order not to change 67
Chapter 13 73
The worshippers of the golden calf 73
Chapter 14 79
They neither hit nor catch nor let them bat 79
Chapter 15 84
THE 12 SYMPTOMS OF SOBRIETY 84
Chapter 16 89
From abstinence to sobriety 89
Glossary 101
SYMPTOM NUMBER 1.
THE CHILD KING
Immaturity and infantilism, stagnation of emotional growth and persistence of
dependencies.
Foreword................................................................................................................................................7
Introduction..........................................................................................................................................10
Chapter 1..............................................................................................................................................14
The two-headed dragon....................................................................................................................14
Chapter 2..............................................................................................................................................17
Chapter 3..............................................................................................................................................22
Symptom number 1..........................................................................................................................22
The boy king.....................................................................................................................................22
Chapter 4..............................................................................................................................................25
Symptom number 2..........................................................................................................................25
Masters of excuses and champions of pretexts.................................................................................25
Chapter 5..............................................................................................................................................28
Symptom number 3..........................................................................................................................28
The bitter scorpion............................................................................................................................28
Chapter 6..............................................................................................................................................32
Symptom number 4..........................................................................................................................32
Sailing under a guilty flag................................................................................................................32
Chapter 7..............................................................................................................................................37
Chapter 8..............................................................................................................................................42
Symptom number 6..........................................................................................................................42
Fear of fear: the need not to feel.......................................................................................................42
Chapter 9..............................................................................................................................................48
Symptom number 7..........................................................................................................................48
Depression: that never-ending agony...............................................................................................48
Chapter 10............................................................................................................................................54
Symptom number 8..........................................................................................................................54
The mach-o-less................................................................................................................................54
Chapter 11............................................................................................................................................62
Chapter 12............................................................................................................................................67
Symptom number 10........................................................................................................................67
Transforming in order not to change................................................................................................67
Chapter 13............................................................................................................................................73
Symptom number 11........................................................................................................................73
The worshippers of the golden calf..................................................................................................73
Chapter 14............................................................................................................................................79
Symptom number 12........................................................................................................................79
They neither hit nor catch nor let them bat.......................................................................................79
Chapter 15............................................................................................................................................84
THE 12 SYMPTOMS OF SOBRIETY............................................................................................84
Chapter 16............................................................................................................................................89
From abstinence to sobriety..............................................................................................................89
Glossary..........................................................................................................................................101
SYMPTOM NUMBER 4.
SAILING UNDER A GUILTY FLAG
Permanent feeling of guilt with self-evaluation, handicap and tendency to self-
punishment.
Chapter 7 38
SYMPTOM NUMBER 5.
TELL ME WHAT YOU BRAG ABOUT AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU LACK
Egocentrism, neurotic self-sufficiency, poor management of aggression and tendency
to omnipotence.
Chapter 8 44
SYMPTOM NUMBER 6.
THE FEAR OF FEAR: THE NEED NOT TO FEEL
Permanent fears: fearful attitude towards life's challenges with continuous anguish
and tension.
Foreword................................................................................................................................................7
Introduction..........................................................................................................................................10
Chapter 1..............................................................................................................................................14
Chapter 2..............................................................................................................................................17
Chapter 3..............................................................................................................................................22
Symptom number 1..........................................................................................................................22
The boy king.....................................................................................................................................22
Chapter 4..............................................................................................................................................25
Symptom number 2..........................................................................................................................25
Chapter 5..............................................................................................................................................28
Symptom number 3..........................................................................................................................28
Chapter 6..............................................................................................................................................32
Symptom number 4..........................................................................................................................32
Chapter 7..............................................................................................................................................37
Chapter 8..............................................................................................................................................42
Symptom number 6..........................................................................................................................42
Chapter 9..............................................................................................................................................48
Symptom number 7..........................................................................................................................48
Chapter 10............................................................................................................................................54
Symptom number 8..........................................................................................................................54
The mach-o-less................................................................................................................................54
Chapter 11............................................................................................................................................62
Chapter 12............................................................................................................................................67
Symptom number 10........................................................................................................................67
Chapter 13............................................................................................................................................73
Symptom number 11........................................................................................................................73
Chapter 14............................................................................................................................................79
Symptom number 12........................................................................................................................79
Chapter 15............................................................................................................................................84
Chapter 16............................................................................................................................................89
Glossary..........................................................................................................................................101
SYMPTOM NUMBER 9.
THE OSTRICH SYNDROME: CAN'T SEE, CAN'T HEAR, CAN'T SPEAK
Denial of its non-alcoholic reality with persistence of rationalization and projection
mechanisms.
Chapter 12 72
SYMPTOM NUMBER 10.
TRANSFORM NOT TO CHANGE
Substitution of alcohol for other drugs or addictive substances
Chapter 13 79
SYMPTOM NUMBER 11.
THE WORSHIPPERS OF THE GOLDEN CALF
Absent or very impoverished spirituality with intellectual arrogance, tendency to
materialism and little or no faith.
Chapter 14 86
SYMPTOM NUMBER 12.
THEY NEITHER HIT, NOR CATCH, NOR LET THEM BAT
Inappropriate behavior in your treatment, both with your therapist and in your self-help
group.
Foreword................................................................................................................................................7
Introduction..........................................................................................................................................10
Chapter 1..............................................................................................................................................14
Chapter 2..............................................................................................................................................17
Chapter 3..............................................................................................................................................22
Symptom number 1..........................................................................................................................22
The boy king.....................................................................................................................................22
Chapter 4..............................................................................................................................................25
Symptom number 2..........................................................................................................................25
Chapter 5..............................................................................................................................................28
Symptom number 3..........................................................................................................................28
Chapter 6..............................................................................................................................................32
Symptom number 4..........................................................................................................................32
Chapter 7..............................................................................................................................................37
Chapter 8..............................................................................................................................................42
Symptom number 6..........................................................................................................................42
Chapter 9..............................................................................................................................................48
Symptom number 7..........................................................................................................................48
Chapter 10............................................................................................................................................54
Symptom number 8..........................................................................................................................54
The mach-o-less................................................................................................................................54
Chapter 11............................................................................................................................................62
Chapter 12............................................................................................................................................67
Symptom number 10........................................................................................................................67
Chapter 13............................................................................................................................................73
Symptom number 11........................................................................................................................73
Chapter 14............................................................................................................................................79
Symptom number 12........................................................................................................................79
Chapter 15............................................................................................................................................84
Chapter 16............................................................................................................................................89
Glossary..........................................................................................................................................101
Foreword
It is undeniable that alcoholism has become one of the most serious public health
problems, both in our country and in the rest of the world, which not only affects those who
suffer from it, since it is associated with phenomena such as family violence, accidents,
injuries, homicides and suicides, among others.
Social rejection, loneliness, abandonment, disability or premature death are possible
consequences that a drinker causes during the development of his dependence. At the
other extreme, some values that are fundamental to human beings are being left behind:
integrity, dignity, solidarity and freedom.
Unfortunately, this is a widespread and high-impact problem in our country. Official data
show that there are close to three million people with alcoholism problems and at least
another three million with problems of excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages, which
means a substantial depletion of the most important capital a nation has: its inhabitants.
It is paradoxical that this complex phenomenon is poorly understood, not only among
society in general, but also in professional circles, including health care, and that myths and
distorted beliefs about the interaction between biological, psychological and social factors,
as well as their causality, prevail.
As a result, prevention and treatment options currently do not correspond to the magnitude
and importance of the problem. Institutional therapeutic options are comparatively poor and
scarce; in fact, screening, treatment and rehabilitation schemes and models for the
detection, treatment and rehabilitation of alcoholism or alcohol abuse have not been
integrated into health programs.
However, civil society and mutual aid organizations have historically responded to this
problem. The construction of their solidarity responses has allowed them to form a large
number of groups, which in turn has led to the formation of networks of mutual aid groups
and private treatment centers.
Recognition of the impact and cost of the problem to society is crucial, as is the need for
effective models for prevention, treatment and rehabilitation, incorporated into public health
education and social assistance programs. This requires modern technical elements that
are relevant to the national reality to facilitate this work.
For all of the above reasons, it is undoubtedly relevant to have professionals of the stature
of Dr. José Antonio Elizondo López, who has dedicated his fruitful professional life to the
study and research of the phenomenon of alcoholism.
Dr. Elizondo is an outstanding psychiatrist and psychotherapist, pioneer, in 1972, of the
Alcoholics Rehabilitation Program of the Mexican Social Security Institute (IMSS);
committed member of the Board of Trustees and qualified speaker of Alcoholics
Anonymous (AA); collaborator of Plenitud magazine, since 1978; promoter of the training of
diverse personnel in the field of alcoholism and addictions; vice-president of the Center for
Studies on Alcohol and Alcoholism (CESAAL); collaborator and speaker of the Autonomous
University of Veracruz and the Autonomous University of Veracruz (UVA); collaborator and
speaker of the Mexican Social Security Institute (IMSS).He has been a collaborator and
speaker at the Universidad Autónoma Veracruzana and the Universidad Nacional
Autónoma de México (UNAM), in addition to being a member of the Editorial Board of the
specialized magazine LíberAddictus.
Special mention should be made of the tireless promotion and dissemination of this
specialist to AA groups, from an international forum of experts to the simplest, but no less
important, meeting in remote parts of the country.
Dr. Elizondo has been able to combine the solidity of his studies with extensive clinical
experience acquired during his daily contact with alcoholic patients and their families in their
environment. This experience has been reflected in its ongoing social work to help those
who suffer from or are most exposed to this disease.
It has been this committed work that has earned him the appreciation and admiration of his
many patients and of the institutions specialized in this field.
Likewise, Dr. Elizondo has the rare virtue of combining the depth of his studies and analysis
with concreteness and eloquence, which allows him to translate and teach in practical and
accessible language the emotional symptoms of the alcoholic, with such forcefulness that
those who suffer from the disease will inevitably see themselves reflected in the Dry Drunk
Syndrome.
In this work he describes, in a didactic way, the ways to find the most elementary causes of
alcoholism and exposes the fears and incomprehensible feelings that at some point in their
lives lead certain people to alcohol consumption.
This book will be particularly useful for those who believe that by simply stopping drinking,
they will automatically change their problems and achieve happiness; or for those who
attend AA, but do not work on their growth program. These alcoholics accumulate
abstinence, but do not achieve sobriety.
In the form of stories and morals, it expresses in a colloquial tone the most reliable feelings
and daily experiences of the alcoholic, who is busy keeping himself abstemious and in
constant struggle with his emotions and feelings, in order to promote true growth in himself.
The author suggests the importance of the alcoholic identifying and rescuing himself from
the addictive and neurotic duality in a timely manner, so as not to shift to himself or to
others another burden even more destructive than alcohol: that of presenting this syndrome
for life and raising it as a banner to justify other weaknesses, deficiencies and emptinesses.
I am convinced that this work will be of interest to any reader and will promote in him a
positive concern and reflection on the daily fight against alcoholism. It will also provide
professionals from related disciplines with technical tools that will help in the integral
management and promotion of the alcoholic's emotional maturity, a fundamental issue for
him/her to be able to maintain sobriety.
In general, this material will be of great use to all those interested in this complex problem,
as it will help them in the reconstruction of the schemes and programs of care and
management, with a more human and comprehensive sense of alcoholism.
Lic. José M. Empty Castrejón

Director of Sector Liaison
National Council Against Addictions (CONADIC)
Introduction
The term dry drunk was introduced by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) co-founder Bill W.
himself.
In a letter written in 1954 he mentions the following: "Sometimes we get depressed. If I
know; I've been a champion of dry drunkenness. Although the superficial causes were part
of the picture - triggering events that precipitated the depression - the fundamental ones, I
am convinced, were at a much deeper level."
Subsequently, in the 1970s, among the informal AA literature, a pamphlet appeared under
the name Dry Drunk Syndrome. In 1982, R.J. Solberg, of the Hazelden Foundation in
Minnesota, published a more elaborate booklet that appeared in English and Spanish under
the title Síndrome de la Borrachera Seca.
These pamphlets spoke mainly of the "dry drunk," the recovering alcoholic who is content to
"cap the bottle" and who has not overcome his or her character defects. Some obvious
features of his behavior are discussed, such as pompous behavior, rigidity of judgment, his
personal devaluation, the desire for immediate satisfaction of his demands, his childish
behavior and attitudes, his abrupt changes of mood, the short duration of his resolutions,
his unrealistic and maladaptive behavior, and his self-destructive tendencies.
After reviewing this literature, and with the experience acquired during 10 years of working
with recovering alcoholics, the author published in issue number 5 of Plenitud magazine,
the official organ of the General Service Office of AA of the Mexican Republic, the first
version of the "Dry Drunk Syndrome", where eight fundamental symptoms of the syndrome
are specified.After reviewing this literature, and with the experience acquired during 10
years of working with recovering alcoholics, the author published the first version of the "Dry
Drunk Syndrome" in issue 5 of Plenitud magazine, official organ of the General Service
Office of AA of the Mexican Republic, where eight fundamental symptoms of the syndrome
are specified.
This article had a great impact throughout the Spanish-speaking AA community, both in
Mexico and abroad (mainly in the United States and Central America). I was invited on
several occasions to develop the topic and in the feedback and analysis of this topic that we
frequently had with AA members, I considered the need for a new corrected and
augmented version of the "Dry Drunk Syndrome" this time with 12 symptoms.
This does not mean that four more symptoms have appeared, but rather that, for practical
and didactic purposes, the previous eight symptoms were expanded to 12, for better
understanding and comprehension.
Thus, in September 2002, Plenitud magazine published the new version of the Dry Drunk
Syndrome with the 12 symptoms. Later a series of articles was published analyzing each of
the 12 symptoms; the last article explained the 12 symptoms of sobriety.
The term dry binge primarily denotes the lack of a change in the person who has
recognized that he or she is addicted to alcohol and has made the decision to stop drinking.
The alcoholic, although he stops drinking (he is dry), does not show any favorable
improvement in his attitudes or behavior; he continues to maintain an intoxicated mind
although he no longer drinks; that is to say, he continues to be drunk.
The term intoxication comes from the Greek word poison. Therefore, dry drunkenness
implies a state of mind and behavior that are poisonous to the well-being of the alcoholic
(state of emotional intoxication).
The word syndrome means set of symptoms. The symptoms of dry drunkenness describe a
state of discomfort and dissatisfaction of the alcoholic when he/she is not drinking, which
implies a condition of psychological abnormality (neurosis).
This state of psychological distress (neurosis) was already present in the alcoholic before
he started drinking. In fact, many people who later develop alcoholism begin to drink to
excess as a result of their inappropriate attitudes and behaviors.
In other words, the disease of alcoholism appears before the alcoholic drinks the first drink.
His neurosis pre-existed his addiction to alcohol.
It could be said that the emotional discomfort and social maladjustment suffered by this
future alcoholic lead him to use alcohol as an emotional crutch that will help him to disinhibit
himself and transform his personality to face difficult situations that he cannot handle in
sobriety, or to escape and temporarily forget about the problems he does not want to face.
This situation leads him to resort to the drug of alcohol every time he has problems,
frustrations or situations from which he wants to escape; with regular consumption he will
need more and more of the substance to obtain the same effects that he achieved with
lower doses, a condition that will cause the development of an addiction to alcohol, which
will make him fall into the terrible depths that alcoholics reach.
During his stage of alcoholic activity, the neurosis that already existed will intensify. All the
problems, failures, losses, shameful situations, rejections, guilt and shame suffered by the
active alcoholic will intensify this pre-existing neurosis, so that when he decides to stop
drinking and join an AA group, the neurosis that drove him to drink uncontrollably has
already worsened.
Therefore, the recovering alcoholic should not be satisfied with simply stopping drinking.
You should not think that abstinence from alcohol will automatically lead to emotional
growth, but rather that after a period of stable abstinence, you should begin to actively work
on your emotional growth.
When an alcoholic stops drinking, but continues with this increased neurosis that causes
this situation of psychological discomfort, emotional dissatisfaction and negative attitudes
towards life, he/she is suffering from the Dry Drunk Syndrome.
The objective of this publication is to help the recovering alcoholic to identify and accept the
symptoms of dry drunkenness he/she is suffering from, so that he/she can overcome them
and, through this, reach emotional growth, that is, maturity.
For this reason it was necessary to describe the symptoms of Dry Drunk Syndrome, so that
the recovering alcoholic could identify them.
I will now list the eight symptoms that I published in the December 1978 article:
1. Tendency to exaggeration
2. Child behavior
3. Persistent dissatisfaction
4. Denial of its non-alcoholic reality
5. Rationalization of their neurotic problems
6. Persistence of family problems
7. Inappropriate behavior in your AA group
8. Recurrent distress and depression
In September 2002, the Dry Drunkenness Syndrome article appeared in its new version
with 12 symptoms, which are listed below:
1. Immaturity and childishness: arrest of emotional growth and persistence of
dependencies.
2. Permanent attitude of dishonesty before oneself and others.
3. Bitterness and existential dissatisfaction due to persistent resentments.
4. Permanent feeling of guilt with self-devaluation, handicap and tendency to self-
punishment.
5. Egocentrism, neurotic self-sufficiency, poor management of aggression and
tendency to omnipotence.
6. Permanent fears: attitude of fear before the challenges of life with continuous
anguish and tension.
7. Cyclical or permanent depression with attitudes of pessimism and demotivation.
8. Sexual and sentimental ungovernability.
9. Denial of their non-alcoholic reality with persistence of rationalization and projection
mechanisms.
10. Substitution of alcohol for other substances or addictive behaviors.
11. Absent or very impoverished spirituality, with intellectual arrogance, tendency to
12. Inappropriate behavior in their AA group, both with their peers and with the principles
of the program.
As mentioned above, this does not mean that new symptoms of dry drunkenness have
appeared during these 24 years, but rather that the first eight symptoms have been more
detailed to make them more understandable, more specific and more objective.
The following table compares the eight symptoms of the first article with the 12 symptoms
of the second article to explain their correlation:
1. Tendency to exaggeration. It corresponds to the 5th symptom of the new version:
neurotic self-sufficiency and tendency to omnipotence.
2. Child behavior. Corresponds to the 1st and 11th symptoms: immaturity and
childishness and absence of spirituality.
3. Persistent dissatisfaction. Corresponds to the 3rd and 4th symptoms: existential
dissatisfaction due to persistent resentments and permanent feeling of guilt.
4. Denial of its non-alcoholic reality. Corresponds to the 9th and 10th symptoms: denial
of their non-alcoholic reality and substitution of alcohol for other drugs and addictive
substances.
5. Rationalization of their neurotic problems. Corresponds to the 2nd and 5th
symptoms: permanent attitude of dishonesty before oneself and others, and neurotic
self-sufficiency.
6. Persistence of family problems. Corresponds to the 1st, 2nd and 8th symptoms:
persistence of dependencies, attitude of dishonesty before others and sexual and
sentimental ungovernability.
7. Inappropriate behavior in your AA group. Corresponds to the 12th symptom:
inappropriate behavior in their AA group.
8. Recurrent anguish and depression. Corresponds to the 6th and 7th symptoms:
permanent fears with continuous anguish and tension, and cyclical or permanent
depression.
As can be seen, the new version with 12 symptoms is much more didactic and facilitates
the understanding and comprehension of these character defects with greater precision for
the identification of the symptom.
Chapter 1
The two-headed dragon
Once upon a time, in any time and in any place, there was a prince madly in love with a
princess. Unfortunately, she was held captive in a castle that she could not leave because it
was guarded by a terrible two-headed dragon that did not allow anyone to approach. If
anyone dared, they were ferociously attacked by the monster that already had many victims
to its credit: most of whom had died in combat, others were imprisoned in the dungeons of
the castle with no hope of getting out, and those who, wounded and battered, had managed
to flee, suffered for the rest of their lives from some disability or handicap, which caused
them endless suffering, keeping them away from well-being and happiness.
But our prince was a determined and daring person who knew that the only thing that could
bring him happiness was to conquer the love of his beloved princess.
He set out to defeat the dragon, so he studied its every move and its weak points, and
armed himself to the teeth with armor that would protect him from the flames emanating
from the beast's snout and a mighty sword that would bring down its head at the first blow.
His horse was fast and agile and was accustomed to this kind of battle, in which our hero
was usually victorious.
Thus, the bold prince arrived at the castle gates and was immediately attacked by the
terrible dragon to prevent him from passing. With agile movements of his horse, the prince
managed to evade the beast's attack. In turn, he took his sword and with great force and
determination cut off one of the heads. In the fight, the prince lost his sword and had to
abandon the fight.
When he returned to the castle, our hero was perplexed to observe that the dragon had its
two heads. For some reason incomprehensible to the prince, the monster had managed to
regenerate its lost head.
The prince decided to return to the village to ask for advice so that he could devise a
strategy to defeat the dragon.
He consulted with the wise men of the village who told him that the only way to defeat the
dragon was to cut off its two heads with a single cut, since it had the ability to regenerate
the lost head as long as it kept the other one.
Aware of this secret, the prince armed himself with a much larger and more powerful sword
and kept two more swords in the saddle of his horse in case he needed them.
The fight was fierce: the monster attacked with all its power; huge flames came out of its
mouth and it hit strong flaps on the horse, which fell twice, but managed to recover
immediately. The prince launched a strong thrust over the dragon's heads, but missed the
blow and the sword stuck in the beast's tail; it twisted its neck in the direction of its tail to
pull out the sword that was causing it a lot of pain. The prince took the opportunity to take
another sword and with an accurate blow to the neck he cut off both heads: the dragon was
dead.
The prince entered the castle and freed the beautiful princess whom he married and they
lived happily for many, many years.
This tale, which ends as most children's stories do: with the triumph of good over evil and
the achievement of eternal happiness, represents the hard struggle an alcoholic has to
undertake in order to achieve sobriety.
The prince represents the sick alcoholic who wants to recover; the dragon is the disease of
alcoholism, which has a duality: it is represented by the two heads of the dragon, the first
head is the addictive head, the second is the neurotic head. The addictive head represents
the alcoholic's unmanageability in the face of alcohol; the neurotic head represents the
alcoholic's unmanageability in the face of his feelings and emotions.
The princess represents what every alcoholic aspires to in recovery: happiness. The castle
represents sobriety.
The two heads of the dragon: alcohol addiction and emotional unmanageability are
preventing the alcoholic from entering sobriety.
The prince's swords represent the determination, discipline and positive attitude of the
alcoholic who wants to recover and achieve happiness.
The wise men of the village represent the AA sponsors: the counselors, the doctors, the
psychologists, the psychiatrists and the priests who tell the alcoholic what he must do to
overcome his disease.
Knowing this story and its symbolism, one can better understand what the disease of
alcoholism is and how to overcome it.
Many alcoholics lack determination, conviction and a positive attitude to stop drinking and
change. Their swords are very weak and with them they will never be able to defeat the
dragon.
Others believe that just by stopping drinking, everything else will automatically change and
they will achieve happiness. They are those who attend AA, but do not work in its growth
program. They believe that all their existential problems are a consequence of their
alcoholism and that when they stop drinking, happiness will come by itself. These alcoholics
accumulate abstinence, but do not reach sobriety; they have only cut off the addictive head
of the dragon, but have left the neurotic head alive, it will take care of regenerating the
addictive head and the relapse will not be long in coming.
Others, however, do not accept their alcoholism and want nothing to do with AA. They think
they only have emotional problems and that when they solve them they will be able to drink
in a controlled manner. These types of individuals are the ones who go to a psychologist,
psychiatrist or psychoanalyst, but continue to drink. They are the ones that cut off the
neurotic head, but leave the addictive head alive. By staying alive, the addictive head will
cause the neurosis to reappear and his alcoholism to worsen.
It has been mentioned that the princess represents the happiness that every recovering
alcoholic seeks. But the story indicates that to achieve happiness you have to fight and very
hard. Fighting against alcohol abuse unmanageability and fighting against emotional
unmanageability.
Dry Drunk Syndrome sufferers are recovering alcoholics who are content to stop drinking
but do not change. They still exhibit the same behavioral disturbances as when they were
drinking, only now they are dry; they are dry drunks.
For all of the above, it is important to understand that the disease of alcoholism is very
complex; that the alcoholic already presents emotional unmanageability before starting to
drink; that this emotional unmanageability pushed many drinkers to become alcoholics, and
when they joined an AA group because they decided to stop drinking, the emotional
unmanageability resurfaces strongly and it is necessary to work on emotional growth.
The following chapters will describe the 12 symptoms of dry drunkenness.
Chapter 2
The Dry Drunk Syndrome
Abstinence is not the same as sobriety.
Abstinence means to stop using alcohol, or the drug to which one is addicted. Sobriety
means learning to live in abstinence through a continuous emotional growth that allows
reaching maturity. In other words: the sum of abstinence and maturity constitute sobriety.
Many alcoholics stop drinking but do not grow emotionally. Although they are teetotalers,
they continue to be emotional babies.
These people suffer from what is called Dry Drunk Syndrome.
Dry Drunk Syndrome is a form of neurosis suffered by the recovering alcoholic when he or
she is only content to stop drinking.
This syndrome impedes the alcoholic's fullness of life, since it causes family, work and
social problems to persist, as well as continued dissatisfaction and unhappiness, and
constitutes one of the main causes of relapse in alcoholics.
Achieving abstinence is only the end of the beginning. The real road to recovery begins
when one reaches an absolute conviction of abstinence, the foundation on which the edifice
of sobriety will be built.
The number 12 in AA is a very special number. We have the 12 steps, the 12 traditions, the
12 promises, the 12 things AA does not do, and so on. It will be convenient to become
familiar with the 12 symptoms of dry drunkenness.
It is very important for a recovering alcoholic to truly aspire to sobriety, not to remain in the
mediocre conformity of abstinence. If it is difficult to stop drinking, it is much more difficult to
grow emotionally to reach maturity. Do not forget that the combination of abstinence from
alcohol (and any other drug) plus the emotional maturity of the individual constitutes true
sobriety.
Symptoms briefly explained:
1. Immaturity and childishness: arrest of emotional growth and persistence of
dependencies. It is the essential symptom of dry drunkenness. The inability to grow
emotionally. Although he no longer drinks, the alcoholic is still a child in the way he thinks,
handles his emotions and acts. By remaining an emotional child, he will not be able to
behave as a responsible adult who can achieve his life goals. Like good emotional babies,
these alcoholics continue to depend on figures such as their mother, father, siblings, wife,
friends, boss, etcetera. This dependence prevents them from obtaining two fundamental
conditions in sobriety: autonomy and responsibility. Being emotionally attached to other
people, they blame them for their existential failures and assume the role of victims.
2. Permanent attitude of dishonesty before oneself and others. Dishonesty is a bad habit
acquired by the alcoholic during the development of his disease. He cheats, lies, invents
pretexts, promises and does not deliver, cheats, does not respect the rules of the game,
borrows and does not pay, offers bribes to avoid arrest and practices other types of
corruption, and so on. This inertia of dishonesty remains even after the alcoholic stops
drinking. He continues to lie to his wife, continues not to pay his debts, unfulfilled promises
persist, and so on. He often continues to lie to his therapist or tells lies in his group. He has
a hard time with the daily practice of honesty. The most serious thing is that the alcoholic
believes many of these lies, persisting in this attitude of evading his own reality and not
accepting it.
3. Emotional bitterness and dissatisfaction due to persistent resentments. Despite the fact
that he no longer drinks, the alcoholic does not achieve fulfillment, the satisfaction of living.
He is unhappy, dissatisfied, with many areas of bitterness in his life and unable to taste the
sweetness of sobriety. Quitting drinking is more of an obligation than a conviction, and
relapse is common among the existentially dissatisfied. In addition, he still holds many
resentments from his past life that he has not been able to overcome. He is angry with
people and the world. They are the typical dry drunks chained to the past who can't apply
the just for today.
4. Permanent feeling of guilt with self-devaluation, handicap and tendency to self-
punishment. These alcoholics carry a terrible burden of guilt accumulated in the past that
they have not been able to forgive themselves. They continue to feel guilty for many
situations, such as the death of a loved one, the illness of one of their children or the failure
of others, etcetera. They are people with very low self-esteem and a strong tendency
towards perfectionism. Because they do not forgive themselves (even though others have
already forgiven them) they feel less than others and with feelings of personal self-
devaluation. To free themselves from that burden, they develop a neurotic need for
atonement, so they fall into self-destructive behaviors, sabotage their triumph and feel
undeserving of happiness. These self-destructive tendencies may cause them to relapse.
5. Egocentrism, neurotic self-sufficiency, poor management of aggression and tendency to
omnipotence. Egocentrism in the alcoholic is the neurotic compensation of an inferiority
complex, and a low self-esteem that, like all emotionally infantile people, leads them to an
attitude of overcompensation and then they want to attract the attention of others. That's
why when they got drunk they became the jester of the party. Once they stop drinking, they
direct their egocentrism to family members or group mates, at work or to people in general;
they develop conflictive attitudes with poor management of aggression that often becomes
unmanageable, entering into continuous conflicts with others and becoming incapable of
sobriety. Neurotic self-sufficiency refers not to the productive self-sufficiency that is a
consequence of maturity, but to the one who continues to think that he does not need help
from others and that he can manage on his own, which leads him irremediably to make
wrong decisions for the resolution of his existential problems. When neurotic self-sufficiency
is exacerbated it becomes omnipotence, which is the most serious character flaw an
alcoholic can fall into. Omnipotence is a pathological form of pride. A superiority complex
that disguises a deep feeling of inferiority that wants to be compensated.
6. Permanent fears: attitude of fear before the challenges of life with continuous anguish
and tension. Many alcoholics live in permanent anguish. In fact, they were already living in
tension before they drank, and what led to their alcoholism was the need to relieve their
tensions through alcohol. These individuals in general are very insecure, apprehensive, live
in a constant state of tension and develop many fears: of problems, conflicts, illnesses,
responsibilities, being adults, work, daily dangers, death, etcetera. They do not have the
possibility of living in the present, but live installed in the future. They are anxious about
what has not yet happened. All of the above affects their health, as they continuously live in
tension and under prolonged stress, which causes various symptoms, such as headache or
back pain, sweating, sleep and appetite disorders, etc. Sometimes their distress is so
severe that they may suffer from other psychiatric disorders such as phobias, obsessions,
compulsions or panic attacks. These types of recovering alcoholics, regardless of their AA
group should receive specialized care from a psychiatrist.
7. Cyclical or permanent depression with attitudes of pessimism, lack of motivation and low
energy. Another type of recovering addicts are depressives. They are very emotionally
vulnerable people who often feel sad, without energy, unable to enjoy things, with a
tendency to sadness and apathy, existentially unmotivated, with little desire to live and,
sometimes, with a strong desire to die. Both this symptom and the previous one (anxiety)
correspond to the so-called dual disorder, that is, the patient has another psychiatric illness
in addition to his addiction, since both anxiety and depression are illnesses that affect
mental health and therefore require specialized medical attention.
8. Sexual and emotional ungovernability. The psychological profile of the addict is
characterized by the difficulty he or she has in managing both sexual and emotional
impulses. Even before starting to drink, the alcoholic already shows these tendencies.
Being insecure people with low self-esteem, they have a lot of trouble engaging with the
opposite sex. That is why he resorts to the emotional crutch of alcohol or other drugs to be
able to give himself courage and disinhibit himself. Under the effect of alcohol, he dares to
do things he does not do sober, but poorly planned and worse managed. How many
alcoholics have proposed to a woman totally drunk and later regretted it, or how many
others have agreed to sign a marriage license in a drunken state. On the other hand, in a
state of alcohol intoxication, the most primitive sexual impulses are unleashed, giving rise to
undesirable behaviors such as sexual violence (rape, statutory rape, sadism) or
homosexual behavior. Many alcoholics who no longer drink remain dry because they persist
with attitudes of sexual violence, machismo or pathological jealousy. There can be no talk
of sobriety when the recovering alcoholic continues to control, threaten, beat, or jealousy
his or her spouse. Problems of premature ejaculation, impotence or frigidity are also
present. Infidelity with the partner and the tendency to sexual promiscuity is another
manifestation of dry drunkenness at the sexual and sentimental level. Many of these sexual
ungovernables end up developing a sexual addiction or sentimental codependency towards
their partner.
9. Denial of their non-alcoholic reality with persistence of rationalization and projection
mechanisms. Although he remains abstinent, this dry drunk is still a denier, and although he
no longer denies his alcoholism, he continues to deny a series of character defects, which
he cannot visualize or accept and which prevent him from optimal emotional growth. This
type of alcoholics tend to get very upset when someone confronts them with their erroneous
areas and often change groups because they say they are "attacked from the stands". They
also reject any type of professional psychotherapy, arguing ignorance on the part of
physicians and psychologists regarding alcoholism and the AA program. They continue to
look for culprits for everything that happens to them.
10. Substitution of alcohol for other substances or addictive behaviors. Many alcoholics
stop drinking, but replace their compulsive behavior towards alcohol with other types of
drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, inhalants or tachas (methamphetamines). Many stop
drinking, but instead begin to develop behaviors such as compulsive gambling, compulsive
sex or workaholism. Sometimes they fall into self-medication of tranquilizer pills or become
addicted to tobacco. Sometimes recovering alcoholics forget that smoking is also an
addiction that sickens and kills just as many people as alcoholism. It should not be forgotten
that in alcoholism, excessive drinking behavior is only the symptom of a deeper disorder
characterized by a pathological structure of an addictive nature whose origin is genetic and
which makes it a potential addict to any type of substance or behavior that causes
stimulation in the brain's reward center. This sick structure of the alcoholic also leads him to
a bad management of all those existential situations that generate anguish or stress. This is
called emotional unmanageability.
11. Absent or very impoverished spirituality, with intellectual arrogance, tendency to
materialism and little or no faith. Many alcoholics recover physically, achieve a better
governance of their emotions and reach an improvement in their social functioning and
adaptation, but they do not experience that spiritual awakening that is a fundamental
condition to reach full sobriety. It should not be forgotten that the essence of the 12-step
program is fundamentally spiritual and that in addition to psychophysical and social
recovery there must be a spiritual recovery, that is, the recovery of faith. Of faith in oneself,
in others, in the world and in a higher power that everyone has, including agnostics. The
current crisis of values, which is reflected in an extreme materialism, where the highest
value is economic success and the possession of consumer goods, causes people to move
away from God and the supreme values of the spirit. Absent or impoverished spirituality is
also a reflection of an intellectual arrogance and existential self-sufficiency typical of certain
recovering alcoholics who have achieved a good level of culture, wealth, power or prestige.
This lack of humility makes them fall into a progressive arrogance that can degenerate into
one of the most serious symptoms of dry drunkenness, which is omnipotence. He who
suffers from omnipotence thinks that he alone is his Higher Power.
12. Inappropriate behavior in their AA group, both with their peers and with the principles of
the program. The lack of emotional growth causes a distortion of understanding to such an
extent that the recovering alcoholic distorts the philosophy and principles of the 12-step
program resulting in inappropriate behavior in his or her group. This leads him to interpret,
very much in his own way and convenience, the basic principles of the program, which he
focuses more on the compensation of his neurotic deficiencies than on the common
welfare, unity and service. Far from becoming a testimony of sobriety and good judgment in
the way he behaves with others, he becomes the typical AA member who is nonconformist
and conflictive with everything that is done in the group. The erratic behaviors of these dry
drunks are power struggles, envy, resentment towards other colleagues, exhibitionism,
unhealthy criticism, gossip and politicking. Others instead manifest their dry drunkenness by
adopting extremely passive behavior in their group (not using the podium or reading the
literature, not cooperating with the service and just passively listening, drinking coffee and
criticizing others), or by having neurotic motivations for attending the group such as doing
business with fellow group members, borrowing money (and not paying it back), or
becoming emotionally or sexually involved with partners of the other sex.They may have
neurotic motivations for attending the group such as doing business with group mates,
borrowing money (and not paying it back), or becoming emotionally or sexually involved
with fellow members of the other sex.
Comprehensive recovery from alcoholism and other addictions is a long and complicated
process that every recovering patient must consider. Achieving sobriety involves the
practice of qualities such as freedom, responsibility, honesty and humility, developed within
a framework of discipline, perseverance, determination to change and open-mindedness.
Once the inertia of sobriety is reached, a phenomenon of progressive emotional growth is
achieved that has no limits and that will lead the person to the final objective of the
treatment, which is to reach happiness.
Chapter 3
Symptom number 1
The boy king
Immaturity and infantilism, stagnation of emotional growth
and persistence of dependencies.
"With money and without

money I always do what I
want and my word is law.
I have no throne, no queen,
no one to understand me,
but I am still the king" José
Alfredo Jiménez.
One of the main characteristics of the psychological profile of alcoholics is emotional

immaturity. In the psychobiography of most alcohol addicts we find a history of affective
rejection, overprotection or premature responsibility. These childhood experiences
determine a delay in the development of their personality that results in this type of person
being insecure, anxious, egocentric, with low self-esteem and a series of complexes that
prevent an optimal development of their personality.
Upon reaching adolescence, a series of phenomena emerge, such as the appearance of
secondary sexual characteristics, attraction to the opposite sex, the need to be accepted in
their peer group, the search for their own identity and greater social pressure to fulfill
school, family and social responsibilities.
These future alcoholics, when faced with this series of pressures, generate great anguish
that produces intense psychological discomfort and, at the same time, a great deal of
frustration as they feel incompetent to satisfy these needs.
But it is also during adolescence that the first contact with alcohol occurs. The emotional
immature, full of complexes and limitations in his interpersonal relationships, when
experimenting with alcohol, discovers a wonderful substance that transforms his personality
and turns him from shy to bold, from cowardly to courageous, from introvert to extrovert,
from unfriendly to sympathetic and from laconic to loquacious.
This is how this insecure, anxious man finds in alcohol an emotional crutch that helps him to
overcompensate for his psychological limitations. Thus begins a career that starts with use,
continues with habit, continues with abuse and ends with alcohol addiction.
Alcoholism is a disease that produces an impressive physical and psychological toll. The
main characteristic of the alcoholic's psychological burnout is the paralysis of his or her
emotional development. That is, an active alcoholic does not grow emotionally. He is
psychologically atrophied because in order to face the different conflicts in his life or to
escape from them, he has always resorted to the emotional crutch of alcohol.
Therefore, in the alcoholic the phenomenon of rain on wet ground is presented, since before
starting to drink he presented serious limitations in the process of maturity of his personality,
which eventually led him to the development of his alcoholism, causing a stagnation in this
process of emotional growth.
Once the alcoholic decides to stop drinking and achieves abstinence, emotional immaturity
still persists. Abstinence alone does not bring about emotional growth; rather, the
recovering alcoholic once he or she has reached a reasonable time of abstinence must
begin to work on emotional growth.
That is why we say that the alcoholic who stops drinking but does not grow emotionally
suffers from Dry Drunk Syndrome. This first symptom of dry drunkenness constitutes the
central core of the syndrome. The other 11 symptoms of dry drunkenness are, in a way, a
consequence of emotional immaturity.
We call the emotionally immature one the king child because his behavior is typical of a
terribly self-centered individual who demands all the rights of a child, but does not fulfill any
of the obligations of an adult. In other words, when it suits him he behaves like a child and
when it suits him he behaves like an authoritarian adult.
The main characteristics of the psychological profile of the child king are as follows:
1. Infantilism. 10. Superficiality.

2. Excessive demand. 11. Manipulation.
3. Selfishness. 12. Inability to postpone
4. Narcissism. satisfactions.
5. Intolerance to frustration. 13. Rebellion before authority.
6. Caprices. 14. Egocentrism.
7. Inconsistency. 15. Irresponsibility.
8. Inconstancy. 16. Passivity.
9. Emotional dependencies.
Socio-cultural factors have also greatly influenced the development of the psychological
profile of the child king. Machismo, maternal over-protection, traditional gender roles in the
Mexican family, the submission of women, etc., have been factors that have contributed
greatly to the configuration of this type of alcoholics who are psychologically weak, but who
exercise a dominance based on physical strength or economic power.
In the king child households, usually the wife or mother is psychologically strong. For the
child king the mother and the wife are the same thing, and this type of person always looks
for a wife with very maternal characteristics and who is nothing more than the continuation
of his mother. The boy king dominates his wife but at the same time is very dependent on
her. The boy king cannot live without his wife-mother and although he often cheats, assaults
and humiliates her, he cannot tolerate her abandoning or ignoring him. Erich Fromm in his
Socio-psychoanalysis of the Mexican peasant describes this dynamic in the Mexican
peasant family; he calls it the undermined patriarchy, because this family nucleus where the
man apparently dominates, the truly strong one is the woman (mother or wife), which is why
Fromm described it as "a matriarchy disguised as patriarchy".
Irresponsibility, inconsistency and inconstancy are other typical characteristics of the
psychological profile of the child king. They are individuals who find it very difficult to
assume responsibilities and tend to avoid them constantly. They are inconsistent and
inconsistent because they do not finish what they start. Sometimes they get excited about a
project, start it with great enthusiasm and soon get bored and abandon it. This type of
person has short impulses, as it is difficult for them to maintain a discipline that implies
perseverance. Being irresponsible makes them attentive. In many families with king
children, it is the wife who contributes the greatest financial burden. In other cases, they are
supported by parents or siblings.
Obviously, the child king is very upset when rules or limitations are imposed on him. They
are capricious individuals, whose intolerance to frustration makes them incapable of
postponing satisfactions. They almost always get their way through whims, sentimental
blackmail or manipulation. They are selfish, narcissistic and self-centered individuals. This
is a consequence of an overcompensation mechanism to their inferiority complexes. They
want to attract attention, to be the center of attraction. They like to be "at weddings the bride
and at funerals the dead". They are always attentive to their own needs, but have little
interest in the feelings or needs of others. This causes disappointment and resentment in
the people sentimentally involved with them.
Many alcoholics who have stopped drinking, who are members of AA and who have already
completed several anniversaries without relapsing into alcohol, persist in manifesting these
personality traits. It is evident that these people suffer from Dry Drunkenness Syndrome
because despite abstinence from alcohol they have not worked on their emotional growth
and this exposes them either to a relapse or to lead a very poor life emotionally, with
growing family problems and permanent dissatisfaction. A significant number of marriages
of alcoholics divorce after a prolonged period of abstinence from alcohol. This apparently
contradictory situation is nothing more than the expression of the wife's disillusionment and
disenchantment, who expected a more satisfactory change in the alcoholic and not just a
mediocre abstinence.
Through consistent psychotherapeutic work, better self-knowledge and self-acceptance can
be achieved, leading to a more objective understanding of which areas of life require
change. This work can be developed in some cases through the 12-step program, but in
other cases of more severe neurosis, the support of self-help groups is not enough and
professional psychotherapy must be used.
Chapter 4
Symptom number 2
Masters of excuses and champions of pretexts
Permanent attitude of dishonesty before oneself and others.
The big problem with the alcoholic's mentality is that lies and dishonesty were used for so
long to justify his addictive behavior that it became conditioned in his mind as an automatic
mechanism that he has a hard time handling in the recovery stage.
In the recovery process of the alcoholic (and of the addict in general), one of the most
difficult elements for the rehabilitating person to achieve is to regain the trust of others. In
fact, one of the key goals in the rehabilitation of addicts is to regain the trust of others,
especially their loved ones.
In general, alcoholics and addicts to other drugs become consummate liars, professionals
of deception, lies or, in the best of cases, half-truths as an instrument to obtain the drug, to
conceal its effects or to justify the systematic abandonment of the responsibilities generated
by alcohol and drug addiction.
The most dangerous of the addict's psychological tools is the tongue. The alcoholic
becomes a professional talker. His insecurity and inferiority complexes lead him to develop
compensatory fantasies about himself and his life, fantasies that turn into lies and that he
ends up believing himself. Sorda S., a recovered alcoholic with six years in AA groups,
reported that she was always ashamed of her family because of her humble condition.
When she met her boyfriend, who was from a higher social and economic position, she
always lied to him about her family, telling him that she lived in the United States and that
she lived with relatives. Every time she had to answer a question her fiancé asked her
about her family, she answered with lies, lies that had to be backed up by other lies, until a
web of deceit was woven in which she herself ended up trapped, for when they decided to
formalize the arrangements for the wedding, the whole truth was discovered. Such was the
groom's disappointment at her dishonest attitude that he called off the wedding. This
situation caused Sonia to develop alcoholism, from which she has happily recovered, and
now has as a fundamental principle of her recovery to always tell the truth no matter what.
However, many recovering alcoholics and addicts continue to be masters of excuses and
champions of pretexts, continue to make promises they do not keep, boast about what they
do not have, manipulate others to obtain benefits, blackmail to control others, cheat their
spouses, cheat, cheat, practice corruption, borrow and do not pay, sell kilos of 800 grams,
say they are single when they are married, do not respect their commitments, are
convenient and accommodating, are corrupt and do not pay back, sell kilos of 800 grams,
say they are single when they are married, do not respect their commitments, are
convenient and accommodating.They cheat, cheat, practice corruption, borrow and do not
pay, sell 800 gram kilos, say they are single when they are married, do not respect their
commitments, they are compromisers and accommodating, do not respect the law or
regulations, are not sincere, say one thing and do another, and fail to regain the trust of
others, especially that of their closest loved ones.
These recovering alcoholics are dry drunks who have failed to overcome their dishonesty.
These dry drunks like to be told that they lied a lot in the past, but they hate to be told that
they are still lying even though they no longer drink.
This inability to overcome dishonesty is nothing more than a symptom of immaturity. As Ann
Landers says: "Maturity means reliability; keeping one's word, overcoming crisis. The
immature are masters of the excuse, they are the confused and disorganized, their lives a
mixture of broken promises, lost friends, unfinished business and good intentions that never
become reality." Or as Patrón Lujan says: "To be a man is to be ashamed, to be ashamed
to make fun of a woman, to abuse the weak or to lie to the naïve".
From deception to self-deception

In addition to immaturity, another psychological mechanism that determines dishonesty is
denial. The addict is a denier by nature. He does not accept his reality, neither his alcoholic
nor his non-alcoholic reality. This may be a root cause of their tendency to dishonesty.
"Deception of others almost always has its roots in deception of ourselves," sentences the
August 1961 Grapevine. The alcoholic is a person who lives permanently self-deceived, as
a consequence of not accepting his reality and this leads him to develop the bad habit of
deceiving others. But because he believes his own lies, he sometimes feels victimized by
others because they don't believe or trust him.
Another form of dishonesty is projection. To project oneself is to see in other people, our
own defects, weaknesses and deviations. When in the process of recovery from alcoholism
or drug addiction we think more about other people's defects than about our own, we are
falling into a mechanism of evasion of our own reality, which is nothing more than a form of
dishonesty towards ourselves. Bill W. in one of his letters (1966) refers to this form of
dishonesty as follows: "This is a subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction that allows us
to remain comfortably unaware of our shortcomings."
Another psychological defense mechanism that makes the alcoholic the king of pretext is
rationalization. The alcoholic and drug addict always rationalized their compulsive need for
alcohol and drugs by trying to justify with pretexts why they used. Once they quit alcohol or
drugs they continue to rationalize around their non-alcoholic reality. They rationalize their
dishonest attitudes at home or at work. They always find a pretext to justify why they have
not fulfilled a promise or finished a project. They no longer drink, they no longer use drugs,
but they continue to fail, they continue to fail, they continue to sabotage their success... and
they always find a pretext to get away with it and not accept their true reality.
Precisely how and when we tell the truth - or remain silent - can often mean the difference
between true integrity and a complete lack of it.
We complement this idea with what we read on page 68 of the AA Big Book: "More than
most people, the alcoholic leads a double life, he is very much an actor. Before the outside
world, he plays his role as an actor. This is the only one he likes his peers to see. He wants
to enjoy a certain reputation but knows deep down that he does not deserve it".
Absolute honesty?
All of the above does not mean that the only way not to suffer from dry drunkenness is to
practice an iron, absolute and fundamentalist honesty. Only God can know perfectly what
absolute honesty is, therefore, each one of us has to form an idea of what this magnificent
ideal can be according to our own capacity.
In another one of his letters (1966) Bill W. He states: "Fallible as we all are and will be in
life, it would be presumptuous to believe that we could actually achieve absolute honesty.
The best thing we can do is to strive to improve the quality of our honesty."
This is a characteristic of sobriety, which is balance. In the self-improvement of the
recovering alcoholic, perfectionism and fundamentalism must be avoided. Absolute honesty
is, as mentioned above, a quality exclusive to God.
Some questions that will help me to know if I am being honest

Each one knows within himself whether he is acting with integrity in life, whether he is
congruent between what he thinks, what he says and what he does, and whether he really
wields the truth as a fundamental tool of his existence or frequently resorts to lying as a
form of existential habit.
However, the alcoholic's mind is treacherous and resorts to self-deception, so many
recovering alcoholics believe they are very honest when in fact they are not. These five
questions will help the recovering alcoholic be more certain about whether his or her
behavior is honest.
1. Am I honest with myself about my motivations?
Here the correct answer is obviously Yes. However, many recovering alcoholics are often
self-deceptive about the authenticity of their motivations: the AA group member who shows
an uncharacteristic interest in helping the new fellow who has just arrived, but whose real
motivation is to seduce her; or the one who attends their meetings every day and stays for
hours chatting with fellow members after the session, but whose real motivation is to run
away from the problems he has with his wife.
2. Do I try to find excuses to justify my faults?
The correct answer is No. I do not look for excuses but accept my faults and try to
overcome them. The dry drunk practices the golden book of pretexts to perfection. It never
assumes responsibility for its failures or shortcomings. He always finds someone to blame:
"I was late because there was too much traffic", "I didn't go to work because my
grandmother got sick", "I failed because of the teacher", "I have no money because of the
government", and so on.
3. Do I try not to tell lies, even small ones?
The answer here should be Yes. I try never to lie, not even to tell white lies. Most recovering
addicts continue to tell lies, especially small ones, because they already bring the
conditioning to lie that they acquired in their active alcoholism stage. Many people think that
it is not important to tell small lies or white lies. Some prefer half-truths. It should not be
forgotten that half-truths are half-lies and, therefore, a form of dishonesty.
4. Can I be honest with others by telling them who I am?
The correct answer is Yes. I am not ashamed to tell others who I am and what disease I
suffer from. Many alcoholics, presumably in recovery, continue to deny themselves because
they are too embarrassed to let others know who they are. They deny their origin, their
social and economic situation, their illness, their weaknesses and become actors who are
playing a role to take care of their image before others. This prevents them from being
authentic, consequently, they are not sincere and often lie.
5. Am I careful not to be hostile or malicious under the cloak of honesty?
The answer here should also be yes. Many alcoholics who have been in recovery for a long
time and who have acquired a certain prestige in the eyes of their peers often give in to the
temptation of power or prestige and want to control or manipulate less senior peers. Many
times they feel envy, resentment or antipathy and then attack or demonize them arguing
that they are doing it for their own good. This type of attitude is often adopted against loved
ones, friends or co-workers.
Developing the habit of sincerity, honesty and trustworthiness is one of the fundamental
goals of those who aspire to achieve sobriety. This requires great discipline, self-
observation and self-monitoring. To be authentic, integral and congruent between what one
thinks, what one says and what one does implies developing in a satisfactory way the virtue
of honesty.
We end with the thought of Confucius: "The honest man is he who subordinates his right to
his duty".
Chapter 5
Symptom number 3
The bitter scorpion
Existential bitterness and dissatisfaction due to the persistence of resentments.
The resentful wanders the world like scorpions, spewing their venom, and when their sting
fails to strike, they sting themselves.
The scorpion, also called scorpion, is a nocturnal arachnid that spends the day hidden
under rocks and comes out at night to hunt. Its most striking feature is the sting at the end
of its tail. This stinger is equipped with a venomous gland and each time it stings, it injects
its venom into its victims. It is said that when the scorpion fails to sting its victim, it sticks
itself with its poisonous stinger and can cause its own death.
Sometimes human beings, and especially recovering addicts who have not had the
possibility to free themselves from their resentments, behave in a similar way to these
arachnids and, even though they are abstinent from alcohol or clean from drugs, the
persistence of their resentments makes them fall into a chronic existential bitterness that
prevents them from reaching a state of sobriety. This is another type of dry drunk we have
called the bitter scorpion.
Resentment is a natural feeling. We have all felt it. In fact, on some occasions resentment
(positively managed) can be useful, for example, when it causes a person to stand up and
act in a positive way; however, it is common for alcoholics and addicts to manage
resentment in a negative way, which worsens their situation.
Resentment is a poison that accumulates in the mind. This mental gland full of poison is
called bitterness. The bitter resentful wanders hidden under sullenness and camouflaged
with sarcasm; he attacks with his venom anyone who approaches him and when his lancet
fails to hit the target, he stings himself causing his slow self-destruction.
The alcoholic (and the addict in general), when he begins his recovery process, faces two
serious problems of mental insanity: guilt and resentment, both of which are disruptive
feelings that are evidence that the person in recovery has not been able to unchain himself
from the past. He has not achieved his true liberation. He is still trapped by the ghosts of
yesterday that prevent him from a correct and adequate management of the present. This is
the recovering alcoholic who has not been able to forgive himself (guilt) or others
(resentment).
Guilt will be grounds for further analysis at its corresponding turn within the 12 symptoms of
dry drunkenness. In this section we will analyze one of the most frequent and most
tenacious obstacles to the true growth of the recovering addict: the persistence of
resentments.
Accumulated resentment is an abscess that becomes infected and turns into bitterness.
There are many alcoholics and drug addicts who, although they no longer drink or use
drugs, remain resentful. Resentful with life, with their parents, with their siblings, with their
ex-girlfriend, with their spouse, with a friend or with their boss. And although they remain
teetotalers, persistent resentment has prevented that liberation that would allow them to
enjoy all the pleasant things in life that generate serenity and fulfillment. In other words,
resentment causes bitterness, and bitterness prevents fullness of life.
Resentment means to feel again. The resentful person is trapped in the psychological
suffering caused by resentment. The resentful person continues to feel that unpleasant
sensation, because in some way he remains chained to the memory. It is trapped. Cannot
leave.
The resentful person is anchored in the past. The situation that generated the resentment
remains stored in his emotional memory and every time he experiences similar situations in
his interrelationship with other people he feels again (re-sentiment) the psychological pain
of the first experience, repeating what happened over and over again in his mind. By
repeating this over a long period of time, resentment feeds itself and the result is that the
resentful person becomes wrapped up in self-pity.
This makes resentment become the propulsive force of their lives; of course, a very
negative propulsive force that turns the resentful person into that scorpion that poisons
everyone who approaches it and finally ends up destroyed by its own venom.
There are famous resentful people in history who made their resentment the driving force of
their lives. Such is the case of Adolf Hitler, who with his resentment towards the Jews
unleashed the Holocaust; or the recent case of the terrorist Osama Bin Laden who caused
so much destruction with his resentment towards the Americans. When you find yourself
busy resenting something or someone, that someone or something is controlling your life.
Your resentment takes up all your time and energy and leaves no room for the development
of your mental and spiritual health.
"Resentment is the number one offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else,
from this derives all forms of spiritual disease..." (AA Big Book, p. 60).
"It is evident that a life in which there are deep resentments leads only to futility and
unhappiness. To the exact degree that we allow this to happen, we waste more hours that
could have been something worthwhile." (AA Big Book, p. 62)
Towards whom do you have resentments?
One may resent people, who may be family members or individuals outside the family. We
may have very old or more current resentments, for people alive or with those who have
died.
Resentment can be directed at institutions: the government, the police, schools, the Church,
transnational corporations, the military, and so on.
One can also resent certain principles: laws, moral codes, the ten commandments, fashion
rules, traffic regulations, tax obligations, among others.
Identifying resentments is important, so it is recommended that all recovering addicts make
a list of the people, institutions and principles with which they resent.
Causes of resentment
Once you have drawn up this list of people, institutions and principles with which you are
resentful, you should reflect on each of them and analyze what was the cause of the
resentment. In many cases, the roots of resentment are unconscious, and certain
psychological defense mechanisms prevent the person from getting to the true causes, so
in these cases the help of a professional psychotherapist is necessary to help clarify the
true motives. In other cases, simple reflection or working the fourth and fifth steps with the
group's peers may reveal the cause of this psychological pain.
For example, Oscar F., an alcoholic in rehabilitation, mentioned in his history that he felt
great resentment towards his parents and his younger brother, because when the latter was
born, he displaced him from his position as a spoiled son, which affected his self-
esteem.Later, the younger brother was more fortunate in his studies and with women, and
this exacerbated Oscar's complexes and resentment (resentment against people).
Alfonso P. mentioned feeling very resentful with the police because on one occasion they
unjustly accused him, ridiculed him and threatened him with imprisonment, so he had to
give them money to get them to release him. As a result of this experience, Alfonso not only
hates the police but also anyone who represents authority (resentment against institutions).
Alicia Z., a compulsive eater, and with many feelings of handicap and low self-esteem for
being obese, felt a great animosity against the rules of fashion, the cult of the slender body
or feminine clothing that exalted the slim figure. He even felt antipathy for actresses or
fashionable singers who were admired for their good bodies (resentment against
principles).
Whoever resents institutions or principles hostilizes the people who represent or symbolize
them or simply associates them with such institutions or principles.
Reflecting on resentments, talking about them, analyzing them, associating them with other
emotional phenomena and investigating their possible causes, will allow us to discover
many irrational factors that revolve around them. This is a good start to begin to overcome
them.
What affects my resentment?

Resentment is nothing more than a form of anger, because something or someone is
threatening the instinctive needs for belonging and social acceptance (self-esteem, pride
and positive interpersonal relationships), security (emotional and material), sexual relations
as well as ambitions in general (sex, power and prestige).
It is very important that whoever works on their resentments manages to connect with who
is resentful, with the cause of the resentment and with the instinctive needs that are
threatened by the cause of the resentment.
For example, in the case of Oscar F., he felt resentful towards his younger brother because
his parents relegated him because of him (at least, this is his subjective experience).
Feeling rejected and lacking affection, he also felt his instinctive needs for self-esteem,
pride and positive personal relationships seriously threatened.
The mismanagement of resentment
In general, the resentful person inadequately manages his or her hostile feelings and
almost always this mismanagement leads to worsening the situation.
The example of Oscar F., resentful towards his parents and his younger brother, is a story
that is repeated in similar cases: the resentful person reacts with arrogance by attacking his
brother and assuming an attitude of anger and rebellion towards his parents, without having
the possibility of communicating the true cause of his anger. He always uses the "Guess
what I'm angry about" game. His behavior becomes defiant and rebellious. Starting to drink
excessively or consume drugs is part of this game, and certainly the beginning of their
alcoholism and drug addiction (the scorpion self-aggressing). This will lead to a very
conflictive relationship between the resentful person and his family (his parents and
brother). In Oscar's case, this bad relationship grew to the point that he abandoned his
family and no longer wanted to have anything to do with them. Oscar fell into severe
alcoholism as he felt cast out of his family and rejected by society (a typical picture of self-
pity), until he hit rock bottom and came to an AA group. After achieving a year of
abstinence, he worked seriously on his fourth and fifth steps. With the help of his sponsor
and a psychiatrist specializing in addictions, he managed to discover the cause of his
resentments. Today he is back with his family and the relationship with his younger brother
has improved very favorably and they have even partnered in a successful auto parts
business. Oscar confesses that by talking to his family about his ancestral resentments, he
felt a great weight lifted from his existence.
That is why it is important that, in addition to analyzing who I resent, the cause of the
resentment and what instinctual needs are threatened, it is also important to analyze what
was done to help cause or worsen the situation. There are four possibilities: one can be
selfish, dishonest, fearful or inconsiderate, or sometimes a mixture of two or more of these
characteristics.
If you are honest, you will see that in most cases there was, partially at least, a degree of
culpability in the situation that provoked the resentment, (except in cases of abuse). Almost
always the resentful person, after objectively analyzing all the causal factors, will discover
that none of his resentments were true. They had simply transferred their guilt to other
people, institutions or principles.
One of the factors that most frequently generates Dry Drunk Syndrome is the persistence of
resentments. It is not easy to overcome resentments if these psychological conflicts are not
worked through with other people with determination, open-mindedness, honesty,
communication, perseverance and humility.
Chapter 6
Symptom number 4
Sailing under a guilty flag
Permanent feeling of guilt with self-devaluation,
handicap and tendency to self-punishment.
The addict has been singled out, accused, humiliated and shamed so constantly and
intensely that he has developed a conditioned reflex around guilt. But the most terrible thing
about the case is that his most implacable accuser turns out to be himself.
It is well known that alcoholism and drug addiction have been considered a serious morale
problem. A vice. To this day, many people, including doctors, priests and teachers, still think
that those who develop some kind of addiction are vicious and should be stigmatized and
expelled by society. The term "Ya agarró el vicio" is still used to refer to the development of
an addiction to any addictive substance. Recall the terms used by parents to address their
children who have been caught using drugs: "You're vicious!", "A degenerate!", "You're not
worthy to bear our family name!" And who knows how many other things. Or as the relatives
of alcoholics express themselves, "You're a dirty, wretched drunkard!", "You're a poor
devil!", "You're a mediocre good-for-nothing!"
Guilt generates shame. Alcoholics and other drug addicts have always been revolving
around guilt and shame. Addicts are subject to the shame of others. The alcoholic's family
is ashamed of him. The problem is not discussed in public, but in private he is assaulted
and humiliated. The alcoholic's children do not want to bring their friends to the house
because they are ashamed of their father. Parents of illegal drug users do not want to talk
about the problem and it becomes a secret and a taboo. Addicts themselves do not want to
accept that they have a problem, because to accept it would be to acknowledge that they
have a horrible vice. In other words, the alcoholic and the drug addict are ashamed of
themselves.
A large number of behaviors manifested by alcoholics or addicts during their activity stage
generate guilt and shame:
the insults to the wife, the aggression to the children; the car accident where there were
injuries and it also cost a lot of money; the job that was lost, the debts, the deceptions, the
lies that were discovered, the expulsion from school, the detention in jail for drug
possession, etc.
All of the above causes the addict to lose prestige. It is acquiring a bad reputation. No one
trusts him. This discredit, this mistrust, this permanent family and social stigmatization
creates in him an intense and permanent feeling of guilt and shame that becomes a burden
that weighs more heavily on his conscience day by day.
And although in general terms, the alcoholic and the drug addict are rebels and subversive
in the face of social norms and, in appearance, they reject the accusations and
condemnations of others, and sometimes even assume cynical and shameless
attitudes.and, sometimes, they even assume attitudes of cynicism and impudence, deep
down they are the ones who condemn themselves the most, the ones who reject and hate
themselves the most, and the ones who have the most neurotic need to punish themselves.
The sabotage of success and "I don't deserve it".
One AA member repeated in his soapbox catharsis over and over again: "The physical crud
hurts the least, but the moral crud is an unbearable suffering, it is an intolerable torment that
makes you hate yourself more, that makes you gradually lose your self-esteem and that
makes you feel the worst of humans, the most detestable. You feel like something worse
than garbage, an obnoxious spittoon."
Guilt generates shame, shame provokes self-devaluation and handicap, all this gives rise to
a feeling of self-rejection and self-hatred which produces a neurotic need for atonement.
When the alcoholic or drug addict defeats himself and makes the decision for abstinence
and joins a self-help group or goes to a professional, he comes with this terrible burden of
guilt, shame, self-hatred and self-rejection, which will prevent him from achieving sobriety.
For this reason, the permanent feeling of guilt, self-devaluation, handicap and the tendency
to self-punishment constitute one of the main and most frequent symptoms that generate
dry drunkenness.
How does the neurotic need for atonement manifest itself? The answer can be given in two
terms: sabotage of success and "I don't deserve it".
As the feeling of guilt has become a conditioned reflex to any behavior he/she develops, the
addict sails through life with a guilty flag. And although he consciously wants to recover and
wishes to succeed in all areas of his life, in an unconscious way he sabotages his triumph,
because the neurotic need of atonement entails the hidden conviction that he does not
deserve success or happiness, that the best way to punish all his faults is to fail in his
attempts to improve and to keep a permanent condition of loser until he is purified of his
faults.The neurotic need for atonement entails the hidden conviction that he does not
deserve success or happiness, that the best way to punish all his faults is to fail in his
attempts to improve himself and to remain a permanent loser until he is purified of his faults.
The most terrible thing is that many alcoholics or drug addicts who achieve prolonged
abstinence are forgiven by their loved ones, by their friends, by their boss, by their co-
workers, by their partner. Of course, they are also forgiven by God (or His Higher Power),
because they themselves have asked for it in their prayers. But they have failed to forgive
themselves, because for sentencing the most implacable judge of the addict is the addict
himself, and for punishment the most implacable executioner of the addict is also the addict
himself.
In the absence of self-forgiveness it is impossible to achieve sobriety. Until he or she lets go
of the burden of guilt, the recovering addict will not be able to move forward in life. He
continues to be tied to the past, tied to his guilt, he continues to feel ashamed and less than
others and all this will prevent him from succeeding in life: it will be a formidable obstacle for
him to reach the goals for which he decided to quit alcohol and/or drugs and he will remain
in a state of permanent mediocrity and stagnation.
Guilt, resentment, bitterness, depression and low self-esteem
Guilt is closely linked to resentment. Most of those who have not been able to free
themselves from their resentments have not been able to free themselves from guilt either.
The guilty and the resentful do not forgive each other and have not forgiven. Therefore, the
most recommended formula to overcome these two undesirable feelings is: Forgive yourself
and forgive.
Other undesirable emotions generated by guilt are existential bitterness and depression. In
his permanent fear of success, the addict sabotages himself, which leads him to continuous
existential failures, and as this sabotage of success operates from the unconscious, the
recovering addict begins to look for culprits outside himself and, therefore, feels victimized
and resents others; this leads him not only to reinforce his resentments and intensify his
role of victim, but also to drown himself in bitterness.This leads him not only to reinforce his
resentments and intensify his role as a victim, but also to drown in existential bitterness.
This whole situation, when it becomes chronic, causes him to fall into a depression that
tends to exacerbate guilt. Do not forget that one of the symptoms of depression is a
distorted and exaggerated perception of certain acts that generate a disproportionate
feeling of guilt. Depression causes apathy and stagnation, increases insecurity and low self-
esteem, and the recovering addict falls into a vicious cycle of guilt-shame-self-devaluation-
neurotic need for atonement-bitter-depression-apathy and immobility-failure-more guilt.guilt-
shame-self-evaluation-self-devaluation-neurotic need for atonement-bitter-depression-
apathy and immobility-failure-more guilt.
Some questions to avoid unjustified guilt
We have already seen how guilt increases low self-esteem. If the addict already felt less
than others before starting to use alcohol or drugs and during his or her addiction this low
self-esteem increased, by quitting alcohol and/or drugs, the addict must make the
determination to free himself or herself from his or her guilt. How is this achieved?
"Acquiring a stronger and more positive self-concept and maintaining it beyond our
expertise or lack thereof in any particular field, and beyond the approval or disapproval of
anyone else" (Nathaniel Branden: How to Improve Your Self-Esteem, Paidós, 1995).
Guilty people, with low self-esteem, are usually very strict when making a judgment in
relation to behaviors that generate guilt (addicts are generally perfectionists). To avoid this
bad judgment, the person must evaluate his conduct as objectively as possible, be tolerant,
understanding and benevolent with himself to avoid an unfair verdict, which leads him to
self-condemnation and, consequently, self-punishment.
The aforementioned Branden suggests that the person should objectively evaluate his or
her behavior based on the following questions:
1. By whose parameters do you judge your behavior: your own or someone else's?
2. Are you trying to understand why he acted as he did?
3. Do you consider the circumstances, the context, the options that you perceived were
available to you at the time?
4. Do you evaluate your conduct as if it were someone else's?
5. Does he identify the specific areas or circumstances in which his behavior takes place,
or does he overgeneralize and say, "I ignore it" when in fact he ignores a particular
issue but is well aware of many other issues?
6. Or do you say, "I am weak," when in fact you may lack courage or strength in a
particular sphere, but not in others?
7. If you regret your actions, do you try to learn from them, so that in your future conduct
you do not repeat the same mistakes?
8. Or do you simply suffer from the past and remain passively attached to patterns of
behavior that you know are inappropriate?
I need the approval of others

A typical element in the psychological profile of the alcoholic and drug addict is the neurotic
need to obtain the approval of others. Their insecurity and low self-esteem turn them into
passive people who are always thinking: What do others expect from me? They have no
goals of their own and no personal life plan. They always wait for others to decide their
behavior. They do not believe in themselves. That is one of the fundamental reasons why
they fall into alcoholism or drug addiction. In the history of most addicts, the first time they
used tobacco, alcohol or drugs in adolescence, they did not decide to do it on their own, but
were induced to do so by someone else. The motivation for this first consumption is the
acceptance of others, belonging to a group, not being isolated from the dominant majority.
In this environmental context it is clear to understand that the first experiences with such
addictive substances were a consequence of the expectation: What do others expect from
me? And the answer: Others expect you to do what they do, to show submission to the
group, to have no ideas of your own different from theirs, to accept unconditionally all the
tests they put you through (finish a bottle of tequila until you get drunk, or try the new drug
you have never taken, etc.). In return you will be accepted by others and satisfy your need
to belong.
We can qualify the addict as an environmental dependent. This means that it depends a lot
on the expectations in the environment where it moves. That's why it's so hard for him to
say No. Many alcoholics fail to keep their promises to stop drinking because they can't
conceive of having to say No when invited to a meal or party for a drink.
What does the above have to do with guilt? A lot because guilt has to do with the
disapproval or condemnation of others, of very influential people such as parents, teachers,
friends or spouses. When an insecure person does not do what others expect of him, he
experiences guilt. In reality, more than guilt, he is afraid of being disowned, of not being
accepted by others, and this constitutes a major threat to his safety.
When the addict decides to quit his favorite drug and achieves abstinence, but his neurotic
need to be approved by others persists, this determines an impediment to the achievement
of sobriety. What happens with the recovering addict who remains environmentally
dependent is that he or she trades one authority for another. For example, when he was
active in alcohol or drugs the authority was constituted by his group of friends who
influenced him. Now that he is in recovery the authority may be his AA group or his
therapist and he may do as he is told but not out of conviction but to get approval from his
new authority. Thus, many AA members who suffer from dry drunkenness change their
dependence on the drug to a neurotic dependence on the group or many more become
dependent on their therapist and develop the need for the therapist to decide for them.
Here the underlying problem, to repeat Nathaniel Branden's words, "is dependence and
fear of self-assertion; more specifically, fear of challenging the values of other influential
people." Therefore, a great task for the achievement of sobriety is to free oneself from guilt
by means of an individual scale of values that allows one to build one's own moral
convictions and on which one will develop one's life plan and; from that moment on, one will
be responsible for one's conduct and its consequences. This is a mature man who is not
afraid of "what people will say", who listens to the authentic voice of himself and respects
his own judgment about the beliefs of others that he does not genuinely share.
From the vicious circle to the virtuous circle

Not only will self-affirmation of your own values achieve freedom from guilt, but other values
such as acceptance and responsibility are also important.
In the case of addicts, acceptance is a fundamental condition for the release of guilt. Many
alcoholics, for example, accept their illness outwardly, but in their inner self, they still think
they are vicious. Thinking that one is vicious generates guilt. Thinking that one suffers from
an incurable but controllable disease generates responsibility.
When the addict keeps on the line of not accepting his illness (even if he pretends he does)
he will remain anchored to his guilt and fall into the aforementioned vicious circle that will
lead to resentment, bitterness, self-loathing, neurotic need for atonement, failure, bitterness,
depression and more guilt.
On the other hand, when the addict accepts his incurable but controllable disease, he
acquires the responsibility to take the means to be able to control his disease and not to go
back to using his favorite drug. This awareness of suffering from a disease frees him from
his guilt and even if there are antecedents of damages due to his addiction, he will
understand them as symptoms of his disease and not as terrible sins that are unforgivable.
He will then take the means to, first, remain abstinent, second, take action to achieve
emotional growth and maturity and, third, repair, as far as possible, the damage he has
done to others as a result of his addictive disease and reconcile with himself and others.
With the above we demonstrate two phenomena: the persistence of guilt leads the person
into a vicious circle that will lead to more guilt, while acceptance (of both addiction and
neurosis) will lead the person to develop a persistent responsibility that will lead to a
virtuous circle characterized by acceptance, forgiveness, responsibility, action and
progressive emotional growth that will allow him/her to achieve sobriety. The person will
develop a persistent responsibility that will lead to a virtuous circle characterized by
acceptance, forgiveness, responsibility, action and progressive emotional growth that will
allow him/her to achieve sobriety.
Forgiveness and self-forgiveness

Once the recovering addict succeeds in breaking the vicious cycle and enters the virtuous
cycle, a promising journey to sobriety can begin. Changing an attitude of guilt to one of
responsibility may enable you to perform the task of self-forgiveness. According to
Branden's postulate, self-forgiveness implies the following conditions:
1. Acknowledge (make real to ourselves, rather than deny or ignore) that it is we who have
performed that particular action.
2. If another person has been hurt by our action, it is to explicitly acknowledge to that
person (or persons) the harm we have done and to convey our understanding of the
consequences of our behavior, assuming this is possible.
3. Perform all actions within our reach that can amend or minimize the damage we have
caused (pay debts, retract a lie, etc.).
4. Make a firm commitment to behave differently in the future, because without a change in
behavior we will continually recreate distrust.
5. Be willing to explore the reasons why the action was committed (the one that generated
guilt). If we avoid this, we will not free ourselves from guilt, and we are very likely to repeat
the pattern of inappropriate behavior.
Once we have achieved self-forgiveness, we have adopted an attitude of responsibility for
our own behavior and we assume its consequences. Here we no longer have to look for
culprits and we automatically stop playing the role of victims of others. At that moment, the
field is open to face, accept and overcome our resentments, because what is really difficult
is self-forgiveness, and having forgiven ourselves, it is much easier to forgive others.
If we learn to understand and forgive ourselves, being benevolent and self-compassionate
with ourselves, our behavior will tend to improve and our emotional growth will overcome,
on the other hand if we continue to self-flagellate and condemn our behavior, as our self-
esteem tends to worsen.
"Guilt is in fact the reverse side of the medal of pride. Guilt leads to self-destruction, pride to
the destruction of others" (Bill W., in Grapevine).
Chapter 7
Symptom number 5
Tell me what you brag about and I'll tell you what you lack
Egocentrism, neurotic self-sufficiency, mismanagement of aggression
and tendency to omnipotence.
Some alcoholics have an enormous neurotic need to compensate for a feeling of inferiority
and worthlessness that leads them to want to attract attention. That is why they seek the
effect of alcohol to become boastful, boastful, exhibitionist and boastful subjects. When they
stop drinking and the inferiority complex persists, they become narcissistic and arrogant,
and feel omnipotent, typical symptoms of dry drunkenness.
One of the psychological characteristics most frequently present in the personality structure
of the addict is the so-called inferiority or handicap complex. This consists of a persistent
feeling of being less than others. Handicap is the result of unfortunate experiences in the
first years of life, when the needs for affection and acceptance were not adequately met,
causing a lack of self-affirmation in their qualities and potential, resulting in persistent
insecurity and lack of self-confidence.
All of the above causes an evident imbalance in the life of the individual who,
unconsciously, tries to compensate his situation in order to recover the lost balance. This
phenomenon is called overcompensation and is a psychological defense mechanism of the
personality.
The law of all or nothing: the extremist

People who use overcompensation tend to be at the other extreme. They are extremists.
This is a typical characteristic of the addict and, especially, of the alcoholic. Many alcoholics
are shy and introverted, but after consuming three or four drinks of liquor they become bold,
talkative and extroverted. In other words, they move from one extreme to the other and, to
achieve this, they use alcohol as an emotional crutch. The coward becomes brave, the shy
becomes bold, the one who is always silent and inexpressive becomes talkative and dares
to say what he truly feels and thinks ("only drunks and children tell the truth"), the one who
is inhibited with the opposite sex becomes uninhibited and even daring.), the one who is
inhibited with the opposite sex becomes uninhibited and even daring, and the one who had
kept his resentments quiet and out of fear had not expressed them, with a few too many
drinks, shouts them out loud in the face of the person to whom, when sober, he had not
dared to say it. They go from one extreme to the other, they find it hard to find the right
middle ground.
Apropos of this tendency to overcompensate and be extreme, Bill W. refers in his book AA
Comes of Age, pages 55 and 56, the following:
As a teenager I had to be an athlete because I wasn't an athlete. He had to become a
musician because he could not sing the simplest melody. I had to be the president of my
class at school. I had to be first in everything because in my perverse heart I felt I was the
most insignificant of God's creatures. I could not accept this deep sense of inferiority and,
therefore, managed to become captain of the baseball team and learned to play the violin. It
was this 'all or nothing'7 demand that later broke me.
In this experience referred to by Bill W. it can be clearly appreciated how that "deep sense
of inferiority" described by the co-founder of AA leads him to be an extremist individual,
developing that neurotic demand of all or nothing.
The egocentric: from hysteria to paranoia
Egocentrism is the neurotic need to always be the center of attraction. The need to be
admired and applauded by others. They always want to be right and do not know how to
listen to the other. All this is evidence of an unhealthy need, a consequence of their fear of
not being accepted, of being rejected by others and of not being taken into account. Being
egocentric is nothing more than a consequence of this overcompensation of the inferiority
complex. Hence, the need to stand out in everything, to always be the first, to attract
attention or, in other words, the need to be the bride at weddings and the dead at funerals.
Psychiatry defines egocentrism as a mental disposition that moves individuals to refer
everything to themselves, and to approach the problems they face only from their strictly
personal point of view, with disregard for neighboring interests or the general interest.
These subjects lack a sense of altruism.
Such a feeling is quite often encountered as simple selfishness, but it can also take
unusual, and sometimes pathological and dangerous forms. It is therefore useful to
remember some psychiatric aspects of this mood inclination.
To a lesser degree (and this includes a good number of addicts), this egocentrism
manifests itself in the weak, vain, unbalanced, mythomaniacs, talkative or boastful. Certain
hysterics who overflow in tumultuous and spectacular demonstrations have no other motive
than to attract and retain the attention and pity of those close to them. Another aspect of
these morbid varieties can often be seen in psychotic complications of alcohol and drugs
that present megalomanic pictures with these characteristics.
In cases of more severe mental pathology, egocentrism is one of the fundamental elements
of the mentality of the paranoid and the vindictive, who pursue with untiring obstinacy what
they consider to be their right; often, to the overestimation of the harm they claim to have
suffered are added pride, distrust and aggressiveness, and this sometimes induces them to
antisocial reactions (unjust impositions, abusive behaviors, etc.) that lead them to antisocial
reactions (unfair impositions, abusive behaviors, etc.).Often, pride, distrust and
aggressiveness are added to the overestimation of the harm they claim to have suffered,
and this sometimes leads them to antisocial reactions (unjust impositions, abusive behavior,
etc.) that turn them into conflictive and unpleasant people.
That is why it is said that the alcoholic, and the addict in general, has a split personality.
The first, when they are sober, and the second, when they are intoxicated. But it seems that
the alcoholic likes the second one better, this false personality he acquires when he gets
drunk, because he behaves as he would always like to behave.
To summarize: a good number of alcoholics (and drug addicts) have a history of affective
deprivation and lack of affection in their key childhood years, which causes them an intense
feeling of inferiority and handicap with diminished self-confidence and zero self-esteem. As
a consequence of the above, the addict develops psychological defense mechanisms of
overcompensation that lead to a neurotic egocentrism, with a great need to attract attention;
for this, they resort to the emotional crutch, represented by alcohol and/or drugs, which
provides them with a second personality that allows them to compensate for all their
shortcomings (at least while they remain drunk) and in which they jump from one extreme to
the other.
From egocentrism to perfectionism

Now, what happens to these exhibitionist, boastful, fatuous, boastful alcoholics with
fantasies of grandeur when they stop drinking? Those who work well on their emotional
growth (through a 12-step program, or professional psychotherapy, or both) gradually
achieve greater security and self-affirmation, thus improving their self-esteem, achieving
better emotional balance, decreasing egocentric tendencies and eliminating
overcompensatory behaviors. But many others, despite the fact that they no longer drink or
use drugs, persist with this egocentrism that makes them fall into other types of
compensatory behaviors, equally neurotic, such as perfectionism, neurotic self-sufficiency
and the most serious of them, omnipotence.
Many wives or children of AA members complain that their family member, although no
longer consuming alcohol or drugs, has become a perfectionist, demanding, who sees
everything wrong and who only criticizes and corrects everyone. A wife of an alcoholic
complained that her husband, although he had not been drinking for almost three years,
had become eternally moody and bitter, that he no longer wanted to go to parties, that he
stopped hanging out with his friends and that, outside of work, he spent his time shut up at
home scolding his children and criticizing everything that he thought was wrong.He no
longer wanted to go to parties, stopped hanging out with his friends and, outside of work,
kept himself locked up at home, scolding his children and criticizing everything he thought
was wrong. This is a typical case of the alcoholic jumping from one extreme to the other.
When he got drunk he was disorderly, came home late, did not fulfill his responsibilities and
neglected his personal cleanliness. Today, on the other hand, who does not drink and
attends an AA group, he has developed all that rigid, moralistic perfectionism we have
already described. This inability to reach a happy medium is a clear symptom of dry
drunkenness that continues to cause suffering to those who live with the alcoholic. Although
he no longer drinks, he still doesn't live or let live. Many of these family members of
alcoholics come to wish that their relative would go back to drinking because now things
have become more difficult and unpleasant than when he or she was drinking.
They say that perfectionists are full of conceit because they imagine they have achieved
some impossible goal, or sink into self-condemnation for not having done so.
Perfectionism is nothing more than another overcompensation mechanism of the alcoholic
who no longer drinks or the addict who no longer consumes. In their inner self they still think
that they are less than others, that they are worth very little, that they are still guilty, that
they are not forgiven, that they have no skills or abilities, so they try to compensate by going
to the other extreme and become perfectionists.
The perfectionist is unreasonably severe with himself in qualifying his own behavior, but he
is equally severe in judging the behavior of others. This has important implications for
perfectionists in an Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous group. This type of
perfectionist almost always falls into the situation of "seeing the speck in someone else's
eye and not the plank in their own": they are always criticizing the behavior of others and
continually condemn the imperfections of others and become experts in advising others.
The more they criticize and condemn others, the better they feel themselves and end up
believing this lie. These recovering alcoholics become real Pharisees, tearing their clothes
in the face of the imperfections of their fellow group members and becoming true inspectors
of the behavior of others, and simultaneously, they develop a growing incapacity for self-
criticism of their own behavior and feel attacked when someone criticizes them, corrects
them, discovers them or tells them their truths.
Becoming an inspector of the behavior of others is nothing more than a mechanism of
evasion of reality: "I prefer to judge and condemn the behavior of others than my own". This
mechanism of denial of one's own weaknesses is progressive and makes the person fall
into what is called neurotic self-sufficiency. This phenomenon causes this type of recovering
addict to believe that they do not need help from anyone but themselves. They refuse any
type of assistance. None of his peers in his group consider him sufficiently prepared to be
their sponsor and they prefer not to have one. He considers priests too far removed from
earthly reality to be able to help them. To physicians and, in particular, psychiatrists, he
calls them ignorant about alcoholism and addictions, and ignorant of the AA program, and
therefore also rejects their help. This neurotic self-sufficiency leads them to arrogance,
hypocrisy, to project a false image of themselves and to become "a street lamp in the street
and darkness in their house".
Neurotic self-sufficiency is a form of intellectual arrogance that masks a great fear of facing
oneself. Just as when the active alcoholic was invited to an AA group and did not want to
go, the invariable response was always, "No, thank you very much, I know that when I
decide to stop drinking, I will be able to do it on my own." This is a form of neurotic self-
sufficiency in relation to his alcoholic reality. However, when the defeat is finally accepted
and a treatment is admitted and the person manages to quit alcohol and/or drugs, he will
continue with this neurotic self-sufficiency, but now in relation to his non-alcoholic reality,
because, as we already mentioned, he is very afraid of facing his true reality which he does
not accept, because it is far away from what he, by overcompensatory mechanisms,
believes about himself.
This fear that the alcoholic has of facing himself also has its origin in childhood since,
surely, they experienced fearful, frightening, painful and frustrating things that forced them
to use defensive mechanisms of emotional repression as a means of making life more
tolerable. In this way, the future addict learns all too quickly how to avoid these existential
nightmares. In order to survive, they get used to pretending to be indifferent to such painful
realities, putting on a shield of denial to avoid the psychological pain of their own reality,
which, of course, they do not accept.
Pride, arrogance and omnipotence

Says Bill W. that the character flaw that tops them all is pride. This generates pride, which
in turn leads to omnipotence. These three behavioral traits are undoubtedly the ones that
most burden the recovering addict and constitute a formidable obstacle to achieving
sobriety.
Pride, an instinctive deviation of the personality feeling, consists in the individual's
overestimation of his real or supposed virtues.
In pride, the hypertrophy of the self sincerely persuades the subject of his rights to the
esteem and recognition of others.
In the addict's recovery process, pride interferes with healthy social adaptation, and is
characterized by intolerance, tyranny, despotism and abuse of authority in all areas of life
(family, work and self-help group).
Haughtiness and contemptuous hostility are the two characteristics of pride that make the
individual who suffers from it an unpleasant and hateful individual, even if he is an intelligent
and even genial man. Daughters of pride are vanity and pride. In them reside the germ and
the nucleus of megalomania, the primitive engine of ambition and one of the elements of
the paranoid constitution. It is a breeding ground for suspicion, distrust and ideas of
persecution.
It can be read in the Twelve and Twelve (p. 51):

Pride is the primary source of difficulties for human beings, the main obstacle to all
progress. Pride induces us to impose on ourselves, or on others, demands that cannot be
met without violating or abusing the instincts that God has given us. When the satisfaction
of our sexual, security and social instincts becomes the primary goal of our lives, pride
appears to justify our excesses.
And in the same book (p. 49) the following sentence reads:
Those who are dominated by pride blind themselves, unconsciously, to their own defects.
These people do not need to have their spirits lifted, but to be helped to discover a gap
through which the light of reason can shine through the wall their ego has built.
Many AA members have earned the prestige of having a great knowledge of AA literature,
of being great speakers at the rostrum, and of having great ascendancy over new members
coming into the group. Unfortunately, if these people have been infected with the virus of
egocentrism, arrogance and omnipotence, they can cause a lot of damage to the group, as
they become tyrants who always want to be right and feel attacked when someone objects
or contradicts them. This type of person tends to attack with particular vehemence other
members of the group who are beginning to distinguish themselves among the others, but
who do not think like them. They also tend to criticize people who, without being members
of the group, have the moral authority to influence it, such is the case of priests, doctors or
psychologists who are exposed by these tyrants for their lack of knowledge of the program
or other faults. This virtuous indignation is nothing more than a self-righteous way of
manipulating others to remain attached to that neurotic need for power generated by their
omnipotence. Pure dry drunkenness!
The ultimate expression of pride is omnipotence, which can be defined as the overflow of a
hypertrophied ego that will engender a deformation of the spirit, producing a narcissistic
being who will be convinced that he is the owner of the truth, that reason belongs only to
him and that his reason is the only one that exists in the world.The ultimate expression of
pride is omnipotence, which can be defined as the overflowing of a hypertrophied ego that
will engender a deformation of the spirit, producing a narcissistic being who will be
convinced that he is the owner of the truth, that reason belongs only to him and that his
reason is the only one that exists in the world.
The omnipotent creates his own truths, because he cannot distinguish between what is real
and reasonable and what is a fallacy born of unreason. The omnipotent always obeys the
impulses of his instincts and never the guidelines of his wisdom, since wisdom, being an
attribute of the conscience, cannot penetrate this individual because his actions and
thoughts only feed the ego and not the spirit, because such actions are only the product of
unreason.
Dignity, self-respect and moral authority

The counterpart of pride is humility. Humility generates virtues of sobriety such as dignity
and self-respect, which leads to the development of moral authority. Moral authority is the
ideal quality of the leader. The omnipotent exercises irrational authority; he who possesses
moral authority exercises rational authority. The omnipotent is obeyed because he is
feared; he who has moral authority is obeyed because he is respected. The omnipotent is
arrogant; the possessor of moral authority is dignified. Arrogance is the daughter of pride;
dignity is the daughter of humility. Self-love is nothing more than a form of respect for one's
own values and personal convictions. Self-love is a symptom of high personal self-esteem.
When not growing emotionally, the first successes of abstinence can lead to the tortuous
path of pride, arrogance and omnipotence. Emotional growth plus prolonged abstinence
necessarily leads to the development of self-respect and dignity, which gives the recovering
person a high degree of moral authority.
We end with this phrase from St. Augustine: "Let us admit our imperfections so that we may
begin to grow towards perfection".
Chapter 8
Symptom number 6
Fear of fear: the need not to feel
Permanent fears: fearful attitude towards life's challenges
with continuous anxiety and tension.
A typical characteristic of the addict's personality is his inability to handle distress, which is
why he turns to alcohol and/or drugs. However, when he reaches abstinence, if this
incapacity persists, anguish paralyzes him and prevents him from achieving sobriety.
One of the first symptoms listed in Dr. Jellinek's alcohol addiction chart is drinking to relieve
tension. Addicts have something that characterizes them: their intolerance to distress.
Anguish is for the alcoholic and drug addicts an unbearable suffering, it is like a terrible
toothache that has to be eliminated immediately. The addict needs to anesthetize his
emotions. This characteristic is one of the main reasons why they start using addictive
drugs: nicotine, alcohol, sedatives, marijuana or any other. These substances become an
emotional crutch that allows addicts to manage their distress.
Alcohol and/or drugs allow them to handle situations that usually generate distress:
attending a meeting where new people are met, proposing to a partner, convincing a client
at a business lunch, disinhibiting themselves at a meeting, daring to make a claim or say
something to someone that they would not have dared to say when sober.
This need to manage distress with alcohol or drugs becomes something of a conditioned
reflex. This is very characteristic especially in alcoholics. The alcoholic begins to associate
parties, meals, dates, sex or any situation that provokes tension with alcohol consumption.
Other types of addictive substances, such as nicotine, marijuana or sedatives, also trigger
these associative mechanisms.
Alcohol or drugs relieve distress. Therefore, while intoxicated, the addict has a sense of
well-being that allows him/her to manage the distress-generating situation. After intoxication
comes what is commonly known as crude, in which a rebound phenomenon occurs:
distress levels increase, which generates the need to drink again, which in turn relieves the
distress.
The vicious circle of the addict

As can be seen, the alcoholic (and the addict in general) falls into a vicious circle
characterized by: anguish-consumption of alcohol or drugs-release of anguish-intoxication-
crude-increased anguish (see figure).
Remaining trapped in this vicious circle is one of the factors that most strongly prevent the
alcoholic, nicotine addict or other drug addict from achieving abstinence.
What is distress?
Distress or anxiety is a type of emotion, an affective state characterized by the following
conditions:
1. Sensation of imminent danger, totally undetermined, not yet defined. This sensation is
often accompanied by the elaboration of tragic fantasies and gives all images dramatic
proportions.
2. An expectant attitude in the face of danger, a true state of alertness that entirely invades
the subject and drives him or her irremediably towards another immediate catastrophe.
3. Confusion, resulting from a feeling of helplessness with a sense of disorganization and
annihilation in the face of danger.
By analyzing these three conditions, we can better understand the concept of distress,
which is defined as: "A global reaction of the personality to stimuli that the individual
considers threatening to his organized existence".
Symptoms of distress
The main physical symptoms of distress are: dyspnea (feeling short of breath), chest
tightness, palpitations, tremor, sweating in hands, face and armpits, muscle contractions
especially in face, neck, back and hands, paleness or flushing of the face, dry mouth,
tingling in face and hands, sensation of dizziness or unsteadiness, feeling of abdominal
emptiness (hollowness in the stomach) and emotional blockage with failure of concentration
and attention.The symptoms include dizziness or unsteadiness, a feeling of abdominal
emptiness (hollowness in the stomach), and emotional blockage with impaired
concentration and attention.
We have already mentioned that for practical purposes distress and anxiety are considered
as synonyms. However, distress has certain levels that go from less to more: the lowest
level of distress is apprehension, which is characterized by a permanent state of alertness,
before any imaginary or real threat that the individual continually fears to face. Then comes
the anguish itself, whose definition we have already expressed, and an extreme state of
anguish is panic, where the reaction provoked by the threat is so intense that the individual
loses control of his behavior and his personality becomes disorganized.
It is necessary to know how to distinguish between normal anguish and neurotic anguish.
Normal anxiety is a state of permanent alertness that human beings have to protect their
survival, for example, the state of alertness required to cross a busy avenue or to drive a
car on the road. Normal distress is something that every human being must possess. The
absence of normal distress in an individual is psychopathological. Many types of
schizophrenia have as one of their characteristics the absence of normal distress. In
contrast, neurotic distress is a disproportionate form of anxious reaction to certain stimuli,
for example, fear of dogs or rats, intolerance to noise, or the hypochondriac tendencies of
many people who fear acquiring diseases without any real basis for such fears.
Finally, a distinction must be made between distress as a disease and distress as a
personality structure: distress as a disease is when a distress disorder of the type of
phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder or panic attacks
develops. On the other hand, anxiety as a personality disorder is a dominant and
fundamental feature of certain pathological personalities that have been baptized as
character neuroses or neurasthenias. It has been observed that a significant proportion of
alcoholic and addicted patients present this chronic anguish associated with their
personality structure as a characteristic psychological trait.
On the other hand, many addicts are dual patients who in addition to their addictive disease
present a distress disorder (distress as a disease), for example: alcoholism and panic
attacks, marijuana addiction and social phobia or obsessive-compulsive disorder and
addiction to tranquilizers.
The persistence of fears

When abstinence from alcohol or drugs is achieved, many people in recovery, especially
those with personality distress, remain chained to their fears. Some addicts with these
characteristics exhibit a much more prolonged alcohol (and/or drug) psychological
withdrawal syndrome than recovering addicts who do not possess these personality traits.
This suppression syndrome consists of a persistent anguish that can last from one to three
months. Many of these addicts tend to relapse at this stage precisely because of this
inability to handle the distress.
Another form of fear persistence is that of those individuals in recovery who suddenly face
reality as it is and can no longer escape by means of their drug of choice. Facing reality and
the responsibilities of life are much more intense and pressuring than previously thought
and, therefore, the intense anguish they have to endure affects their routine behavior in a
notorious way: they are altered, irritable, intolerant, aggressive, worried, emotionally
blocked and with attention and concentration disorders. This behavior provoked by anguish
prevents them from living and letting live, therefore they are presenting a Dry Drunkenness
Syndrome.
The addict is, by nature, an escapist. He tries to evade his reality as much as he can.
However, in a state of abstinence, the possibilities of avoidance decrease notably, so levels
of distress tend to rise in the same proportion. Often, coping with and accepting reality is a
heavy burden for the recovering addict.
Many recovering addicts have commented to me in consultation that since initiating
abstinence from alcohol and/or drugs they have remained in a constant state of anxiety. "I
feel terrible anguish over the fact that I exist," one patient commented to me. Soberly facing
reality and life's responsibilities, solving everyday problems, tolerating frustration and
handling failures, and even success, become a terrible burden to bear on their backs, often
causing them to crave their favorite drug again.
In fact, a significant percentage of recovering addicts relapse because of their inability to
handle distress. This phenomenon tends to be more frequent in dual patients, i.e., in those
who suffer from distress as a disease.
Dual distress- addiction disorder
The main dual diagnoses generated by the binomial distress-addiction are the following:
1. Panic attacks
2. Phobias
a. Social phobia
b. Specific phobia
3. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (toc)
4. Post-traumatic stress disorder
5. Generalized anxiety disorder
We will briefly describe their main characteristics so that they can be identified by those
who suffer from them.
Panic attacks. Sudden attacks of terror for no reason, tightness in the chest, palpitations,
shortness of breath with choking sensation, dizziness, unsteadiness or feeling of losing
balance, sweating, feeling of emptiness in the stomach, with desire to vomit, trembling,
shivering, shuddering and tingling in the face and arms, loss of self-control, feeling of
depersonalization (such as a feeling of depersonalization).The following symptoms may
occur: trembling, shivering, shuddering and tingling sensation in the face and arms, loss of
self-control, feeling of depersonalization (as if not real) and fear of losing consciousness,
losing one's mind or dying. Panic attack may occur with agoraphobia or without
agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is an irrational fear of open spaces. Perhaps the most severe
form of panic attacks is when they are accompanied by extreme agoraphobia in which the
sufferers do not dare to go out alone in the street.
Social phobia. Fear or discomfort when with other people, difficulty being at work or school,
terrible fear of doing or saying something in front of others for fear of ridicule or
embarrassment, fear of making a mistake and being criticized or judged by others. Fear of
embarrassment prevents people from doing things they want to do or saying things they
want to say; when you have a personal or work appointment you start to feel fear and worry
several days or weeks before, blushing, sweating, trembling or nausea during an event
where you are with people you don't know, isolation: not attending family, school or work
social events, fear of public speaking (with alcohol and other drugs, these fears usually
dissipate).
Specific phobia. Persistent, excessive and irrational fear of certain objects or situations.
Exposure to the phobic stimulus provokes an anguish crisis. The person recognizes that
this fear is excessive and irrational. Avoidance behaviors develop that interfere with the
person's routine at school, at work and in social relationships. The main types of specific
phobia are animal (reptiles, rats, spiders), environmental (heights, darkness, tremors,
storms), medical (injections, blood, introduction of diagnostic devices) and situational
(airplanes, elevators, heights, enclosed places).
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (me). Feeling of being trapped in a cycle of undesirable and
negative thoughts. Compulsive need to do certain things over and over again for no reason.
Intrusion of thoughts or images that disturb or cause harm. Feeling of not being able to stop
those thoughts or images even if you want to. Irrational need to count numbers, to check
things ("Did I lock the car?" "Did I lock the door locks properly?" "Did I turn off the stove?"),
washing hands constantly during the day, rearranging objects, repeating the same action
several times until it is well done or collecting useless objects.
Post-traumatic stress disorder. After living a traumatizing and very dangerous experience,
the following symptoms appear: feeling that the horrible experience is happening again.
This sensation is often repeated. Nightmares and horrible memories of what happened. The
individual stays away from places or situations that remind him/her of what happened.
Emotional outbursts and discomfort when something happens without warning. Distrust in
people. Tendency to paranoia and isolation from others. Continuous irritability and anger.
Feeling of guilt if other people were hurt in the traumatic event. School, work and social
immobility. Insomnia and constant muscle contractions.
Generalized anxiety disorder. Constant concern for everything and everyone. This concern
is disproportionate to the stimulus that provokes it. Headache and muscle aches for no
reason. Permanent tension and difficulty to relax. Difficulty concentrating. Inability to focus
the mind on one thing at a time. Bad mood. Insomnia. Constant sweating and suffocation.
Sensation of lump in the throat or desire to vomit when worrying about something.
Approximately one out of two addicts present distress disorders associated with their
addiction. In these cases, psychotherapy or self-help groups are not enough. Do not forget
that this type of problems are of medical origin and constitute an illness that has to be
treated by a specialist in psychiatry and, in a good number of cases, prescribe medication
associated with psychotherapeutic treatment.
Sometimes, the presence of Dry Drunkenness Syndrome associated with anxiety disorders
is due to the ignorance that this problem constitutes another disease associated with
addiction and not simply a symptom of addiction as many interpret it. At other times, it is a
prejudice against psychiatry or psychiatric medications as a result of the many myths that
exist regarding the subject.
The persistence of distress is one of the phenomena in which there should be more
cooperation between self-help groups, psychological therapies and psychiatry.
If you are a recovering alcoholic or rehabilitating from some type of drug addiction and you
have identified with any of these pathological manifestations of distress that are preventing
you from achieving sobriety, do not hesitate to ask for professional help right now.
Remember that the sooner you attack the problem, the sooner you will find the right
solution. On the other hand, if the problem is not addressed due to ignorance, prejudice or
denial of reality, the possibility of relapse and aggravation of the distress disorder will be an
unfortunate reality.
Chapter 9
Symptom number 7
Depression: that never-ending agony
Cyclical or permanent depression with attitudes of pessimism and demotivation.
Depression, a disease of our era, called the invisible disease because many people suffer
from it without knowing it, is one of the most debilitating and disabling chronic diseases that
exist. About 60% of addicts have some form of depression, and it is not cured by
abstinence.
It is the disease of our era because it is now more frequently diagnosed by physicians,
particularly psychiatrists. However, many people do not know that they suffer from it and
spend their whole lives living with this disease, thinking that existence is of that dark gray
color with which the depressed person perceives his life.
Regarding the comorbidity between depression and addiction, we must say that the most
frequent dual disorder associated with both alcoholism and the use of other drugs is
depression. Many people addicted to alcohol, nicotine and other illegal drugs started using
them to escape from the psychological suffering caused by depression. The escape from
their depressive reality led them to seek the transitory and dangerous consolation of drug
use. Different studies on comorbidity report between 30 and 70% coexistence of addiction
and depression.
Many alcoholics or drug addicts who are prone to depression, when they finally stop using
and begin recovery, have a high probability of having a depressive episode. This is due to
the fact that both alcohol and most drugs usually mask depression and when abstinence is
achieved, which forces the addict to face his reality and not to avoid it, a depressive
condition is provoked due to the patient's strong predisposition to this disease. Depression
is an emotionally disruptive phenomenon, a psychological suffering that prevents the
individual from being fulfilled despite the absence of alcohol and/or drugs. It is therefore the
persistence of depression, a form of dry drunkenness.
What is depression?
We could define depression as a mental state characterized by a generalized low mood,
associated with a decrease and slowing of the activity developed by the person and a
marked inability to enjoy all the things in life, within a framework of sadness and existential
demotivation.
Sadness should not be confused with depression. Sadness is a frequent emotion in human
experiences, but we should consider it a normal reaction to various adverse situations that
does not reach the level of a pathology, because it does not incapacitate the person.
Depression, on the other hand, is a disabling medical condition, a
disease, a syndrome that gathers a diverse number of symptoms that we will list later.
Nor should depression be confused with anguish. The subject of anguish was already
addressed in the previous chapter when we talked about the fear of fear. Distress and
depression are disturbances of an entirely different nature, although their boundaries often
intersect because there are depressions that occur with very intense distress. Older authors
used to call this form of depression, which is accompanied by great anxiety, "agitated
depression". "In anguish a certain affirmation of "self" is preserved, says Ignacio Larrañaga
in his book Del sufrimiento a la paz, "and a warm ember of hope remains. Even anguish
encloses within its folds reactive energies capable of responding adequately to external
stimuli and challenges. In depression, on the other hand, there is total collapse, in the midst
of hopelessness, helplessness and misfortune. It is death, the unfathomable and aching
nothingness..."
Some figures on depression
Depression is more common in women than in men. According to studies by the National
Institute of Psychiatry "Ramón de la Fuente" (inprf), between 20 and 26% of women and
between 8 and 12% of men suffer from it in our country.
Among men, professionals, top executives and big businessmen are more prone to
depression as a consequence of the challenges of a fiercely competitive society.
Widows, retirees and, in general, people over 60 years of age are much more likely to
become depressed than younger people.
During their lifetime, 30% of the population will have suffered an episode of major
depression (endogenous depression).
Once the patient suffers a first depressive episode, the risk of suffering a second episode is
50%; 12% of these patients do not recover and their condition becomes chronic; 50% of
people with this condition are not recognized as ill and 75% are not diagnosed.
A depressive condition that is diagnosed in a timely manner and treated appropriately,
responds in about 75% of cases.
Depression in children and adolescents has worrisomely exacerbated in recent years, with
this diagnosis being reported with increasing frequency in children's clinics and hospitals.
Suicide rates among adolescents have increased in recent years, and cases of suicide
among children have also been reported.
Climacteric women are more likely to develop depression after menopause. In men over 50
years of age, in the andropause stage, they are also candidates to develop depression.
Industrialized countries and large cities report higher rates of depression than less
developed countries or people living in small cities or in rural or semi-rural areas.
Practitioners of religions derived from Christianity (Catholics, Protestants, Christians) are
more prone to depression than members of other religions (Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam)
because of the emphasis Christianity places on guilt. Whereas in other religions such as
Buddhism there is no concept of guilt.
In relation to marital status, depression in women is more frequent among divorced,
separated and single women over 30 years of age; on the other hand, among men, this
condition is more frequent among married people. Widowers (both men and women) are
much more likely to become depressed.
As mentioned at the beginning of the article, among alcoholics and drug addicts, the
probability of developing depression increases from 30% in the general population to 50%
among substance abusers.
Endogenous depression and reactive depression

There are two main types of depression: reactive depression or minor depression and
endogenous depression or major depression.
Reactive depression is characterized by the person developing a depressive episode in
response to a loss (the death of a loved one, losing a job, failing in a business, being the
victim of an assault or sexual aggression, breaking up with a partner, etc.). These
conditions are characterized fundamentally by an intense feeling of sadness and mourning
for what was lost, and all the symptoms of major depression may appear, although in less
intensity and, more importantly, of much shorter duration.
Reactive depression should not last more than three months. If it exceeds this time, the
person has already developed chronic depression and what originated as reactive
depression becomes endogenous depression. The basic treatment for reactive depression
is psychotherapy. Many patients overcome this type of depression without resorting to
antidepressant drugs, only in some exceptional cases are antidepressants prescribed for
minor depression.
Endogenous depression or major depression is still called in some places the same way it
was baptized by Hippocrates, the father of medicine, several centuries before the Christian
era: melancholy.
As its name suggests, endogenous depression originates within our own body. There does
not have to be a trigger for the depression, as there is with reactive depression. In these
cases the person simply begins to be depressed without any factor that could justify it or, in
some cases, the stimulus that apparently provokes the depression is very mild or
disproportionate to the response it produces.
Endogenous depression has its origin in a genetically determined predisposition (many
members of the same family branch tend to present this disease) and the
physiopathological substratum that produces it is of neurochemical origin, that is, there is
an alteration in the concentration of certain brain neurotransmitters such as serotonin,
adrenalin and noradrenalin.The pathophysiological substrate that produces it is of
neurochemical origin, i.e., there is an alteration in the concentration of certain brain
neurotransmitters such as serotonin, adrenalin and noradrenalin. There are also other brain
physiological factors involved in the genesis of endogenous depression.
The main neurobiological aspects of endogenous depression are as follows:
1. The decrease of certain brain neurotransmitters constitutes the fundamental
neurochemical hypothesis of depression.
2. Serotonin, noradrenaline, dopamine and acetylcholine are the neurotransmitters most
involved in depression.
3. In brains of suicidal patients, a lower amount of serotonin has been found in the brain
and also a decrease in the main urinary excretion product of serotonin, which is 5-hydroxy
indole acetic acid (5-HIAA).
4. Norepinephrine and dopamine levels are decreased in certain types of depression.
5. The neurotransmitter acetylcholine system is also low in psychomotor inhibition
syndrome.
6. REM sleep disturbances, characteristic of depression, are influenced by the
acetylcholine system.
7. As a consequence of the deficiency of these neurotransmitters, there are different sleep
disturbances in depression. The most characteristic are alterations in a certain phase of
sleep called REM or REM sleep (due to the presence of rapid eye movements), multiple
awakenings or premature morning awakening.
Endogenous depression is almost always cyclical in nature. As mentioned above, at least
half of the people who have a first attack of endogenous depression will have it cyclically for
the rest of their lives. In some people this condition may occur once every two or three
years, but there are other cases in which it usually occurs three or four times a year and
even more severe cases in which the depression becomes chronic and permanent.
Due to the neurobiological origin of endogenous depression, its treatment will be
fundamentally pharmacological, that is to say, the administration of useful and permanent
doses of antidepressants is needed to help these patients control their illness.It should be
remembered that antidepressants are non-addictive drugs and can be administered, under
medical supervision and without any fear of developing addiction, to alcoholics and
recovering addicts. Psychotherapy is also indicated in this type of cases, but only as an
auxiliary treatment. It is naïve to think that psychotherapy alone will bring a person out of a
major depressive episode.
The following are the main symptoms of endogenous depression, headed by a trilogy of
symptoms that form the clinical basis for recognizing depression. This clinical trilogy is
known as the triple A.
The triple A of depression

We speak of the triple A of depression when we refer to the three main symptoms of
depressive illness:
• Low spirits
• Anhedonia
• Anergy
Low mood refers to a condition of existential demotivation. The vital impulse so necessary
to face the daily situations of life is lost. There is no drive to get things done. It's all the
same. There is no emotional response to rewarding stimuli such as good news, the smile or
caress of a loved one or receiving a gift from someone. Life feels uphill, the depressed
person seems to carry a heavy weight on his back and any activity or task is very difficult to
perform. The person is discouraged, apathetic, pessimistic and tends to remain inactive or,
flatly, lying in bed most of the time. Hopelessness and little desire to live are transformed
into a desire to die, resulting in suicidal rumination, suicide attempts or completed suicide.
Anhedonia is the inability to enjoy things. The impossibility of feeling pleasure. You don't
enjoy what you used to enjoy: a good meal, an interesting movie or a soccer game. The
depressed person manifests a great incapacity for amusement or entertainment. He does
not enjoy food, nor does he enjoy love or sex. A person who is depressed has a decreased
sexual appetite (libido), also presenting impotence (in the case of men) or frigidity (in the
case of women). That is why it is absurd to tell a depressed person to take a vacation or go
to the beach for a few days to get over his or her depression. If a depressed person is
forced to go to a vacation spot, he/she will not enjoy the beauty and attractions of the place
and will continue to be depressed and will most likely remain lying in his/her hotel room
without wanting to go out to the beach.
Finally, anergy is the loss or decrease of existential energy. A depressed person is a
person with no energy. He has a hard time starting the day. Leaving the bed is quite a feat.
Many depressed people stay several days without getting out of bed, shaving or bathing.
His movements become slow and his gait very slow and somewhat stooped. They become
fatigued very easily and stop doing activities that involve significant physical effort, such as
sports or rough activities. Anergy is not only physical but also intellectual, since there is a
loss of concentration, attention and memory, which seriously interferes with the work
activity of many depressed people. Decreased appetite and, consequently, weight loss,
intensify the physical anergy.
The presence of these three symptoms is necessary to support the diagnosis of
endogenous depression. The rest of the symptoms are only a manifestation of this essential
trilogy to be able to speak of a true depression.
Main signs of depression

Below, we will list all the clinical signs that could indicate that a person has depression. The
three fundamental symptoms already described head the list. If you or someone else has
any of these signs, you may be depressed:
1. Low mood
2. Inability to enjoy things
3. Decreased vitality
4. Decreased attention and concentration
5. Low self-esteem
6. Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
7. Anguish
8. Pessimism
9. Sleep disorders
a) Insomnia: not being able to fall asleep, waking up during sleep or waking up
too early.
b) Hypersomnia: wanting to sleep all day long.
10. Appetite disorders
a) Anorexia: decrease or loss of appetite.
b) Hyperorexia: increased appetite, compulsive eating.
11. Weight loss
12. Decreased sexual desire
13. Irritability
14. Despair
15. Dry mouth and constipation
16. Self-destructive thoughts (very frequent in addicts).
17. Suicidal ruminations or suicide attempts
18. Abatimiento
19. Depressive mood
20. Sparse and delayed speech
21. Characteristic expression of his face (depressive fascies).
22. Slow, stooped gait
23. Depressive thinking
24. Impairment of self-criticism and judgment
25. Neglect of personal grooming Can you get out of the pit?
As it is the invisible disease, many recovering alcoholics (or addicts) attending self-help
groups have not become aware that they have been suffering from this disease for many
years and by not treating it (as it has been proven that abstinence from alcohol or drugs
does not cure depression), they live in a permanent state of dry drunkenness that will
prevent them from achieving sobriety and, therefore, fulfillment and happiness, and most
seriously, they may be on the verge of a relapse or a relapse.They live in a permanent state
of dry drunkenness that will prevent them from achieving sobriety and, therefore, fulfillment
and happiness, and most seriously, they may be on the verge of relapse or suicide.
Therefore, the alcoholic (or drug addict) who suffers from depression is a dual patient, with
dual diagnosis and, therefore, his treatment will have to be dual. In addition to attending
your group (as the maintenance of abstinence is a fundamental condition for depression to
be treated) you will need to see a doctor, preferably a specialist who is a psychiatrist, and
you will need to receive antidepressant medications (which are not addictive) in order to
alleviate your depression. Thank God, advances in medicine have made it possible for
depression to be a disease that can be controlled and its symptoms remitted through the
use of these medications and professional psychotherapeutic support. For all of the above,
it is feasible for the chronically depressed person to climb out of the pit.
Don't forget that, like alcoholism and drug addiction, depression is also a progressive and
fatal disease, and when suffering from both illnesses there is at hand that blessed alliance
between AA and psychiatry that can prevent dry drunkenness in these dual patients and
prove that the endless agony can end.
Chapter 10
Symptom number 8
The mach-o-less
Sexual and emotional ungovernability
"You abandoned me woman, because I am very poor/and because I have the

misfortune of being married. Three vices I have and I have them very deeply
rooted:/Being a drunkard, a gambler and in love".
The verses of this Mexican folk song paint a picture of the classic sexual and emotional
ungovernable: who wants to be very macho but is very unmanly.
Sexual and emotional unmanageability is one of the most common symptoms of dry
drunkenness in recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. These people who no longer
consume alcohol or drugs, continue to practice bad habits in terms of their sexual or
sentimental behavior: they continue to be womanizers, lead a double life, remain tied to
impossible love affairs or conflictive relationships with the opposite sex, or change their
addiction to alcohol and/or drugs for a sexual addiction that keeps them chained and unable
to achieve the freedom that true sobriety implies.
These dry drunks are victims of certain unresolved neurotic conflicts that lead them to a
very conflictive sentimental life, but above all very unsatisfactory; also those who have had
sexual traumas in their childhood or youth present multiple conflicts with their sexuality, with
permanent dissatisfaction and inability to find happiness with a stable partner.
Likewise, this phenomenon is influenced by sociocultural causes, since our society has an
eminently macho culture and an inadequate and repressive education as far as sexual
aspects are concerned. Proof of this are the most popular songs people listen to and sing,
movies or TV shows that continue to influence this subculture of the male.
An example of the above is the song of the abandoned. A favorite of our alcoholic males
that is often heard in cantinas and bars:
You abandoned me, woman, because I am very poor
and for having the misfortune of being married.
What am I going to do if I am the abandoned one!
Abandoned, be it for the love of God!
I have three vices and I have them very deeply rooted:

being drunk, gambling and in love;
but it's because I'm poor because I'm the abandoned one,
abandoned, woman, by your ungrateful love.
If I drink wine, I don't ask anyone for a deposit.
If I get drunk it is with my own money.
What am I going to do if your love is what I want!
You abandoned me, for God's sake!
The psychological analysis of the protagonist of this song, with which the sexual and
sentimental ungovernable is so identified, tells us of an individual who is dissatisfied with his
marriage and who is looking for love outside his home. Surely he is a mediocre individual in
terms of productivity: He either does not work or settles for a small salary that is barely
enough for him to wander around the canteens. It is evident that his mediocrity and his
excessive inclination towards women, gambling and alcohol causes him to be rejected by
them, but then he resorts to the eternal pretext: "You abandoned me because I am married
and poor". Along with the justifying pretext, there is also the overcompensating pride: "If I
drink wine, I don't ask anyone for a deposit and I get drunk with my own money". But at the
same time the inexorable role of victim is present: "What am I going to do if I am the
abandoned one, abandoned by your ungrateful love. You abandoned me, be it for God's
sake!" In addition to all these symptoms of emotional ungovernability, there is the
boastfulness of the egocentric: "I pride myself on having three vices: being a drunkard, a
gambler and in love".
But the main problem is that when these alcoholics stop drinking, they continue with this
macho inertia: they stop being drunks, but they continue to be womanizers and gamblers,
or irresponsible, or mediocre or emotionally and/or sexually unsatisfied, giving rise to a Dry
Drunk Syndrome that will impede their emotional growth and put them on the verge of
relapse or divorce.
I know many alcoholics who have stopped drinking, but they have continued with this
sentimental and sexual ungovernability and what never happened when they were drinking
has happened: they have separated from their wife or divorced. Those of us who work in
the rehabilitation of addicts, systematically verify a very special statistic: there is a higher
percentage of divorces in marriages where he has stopped drinking, than in couples where
he continues to drink. Faced with this contradiction one wonders: Why is it that when this
person was an uncontrollable and irresponsible alcoholic, his wife never asked him for a
divorce and just when he decides to stop drinking, the breakup occurs? The answer is very
simple: While he was drinking, the wife kept hoping that when he stopped drinking
everything would be different, and even forgave him for his infidelities because she
somehow blamed them on alcohol. But as soon as he stopped drinking and the infidelities
and lies continued, the wife loses all hope and realizes that the problem was not only
alcoholism, but that there were other deeper problems that had nothing to do with alcohol.
(Healthy) wives forgive alcoholic behavior, but they do not forgive infidelity.
The woman mother and the woman sex

The male is basically an emotional immature who has been brought up in a subculture that
tends to subjugate, dominate and assault women. This macho subculture is deeply rooted
in our Latin American countries. However, recent movements for equality and the dignity of
women have led to certain hopeful changes, although there are still a large number of
males who, in addition to their macho habits, their emotional immaturity and excessive
consumption of alcohol and drugs make the phenomenon worse.
Some of this had already been mentioned in symptom number 1 when referring to the
emotional immaturity of the child king. Remember that the boy king is very dependent on
the female figure; on the one hand, he needs her for his own survival and, on the other
hand, he wants to dominate and subdue her, as a form of compensation for the innate fear
that men have of women, according to some psychoanalytical observations.
Therefore, we could describe the male as an emotional immature who has not grown up
and when he reaches the chronological age to look for a partner, the assumed behavior is
to use, control and dominate the woman. That is why the male tends to have several
women, he tends to be possessive, dominant and jealous with them; he does not assume
commitments, promises many things and almost does not fulfill any of them; he is not stable
in his relationships; he is irresponsible, gets his partner pregnant and then does not want to
recognize the paternity; it is very difficult for him to have an egalitarian relationship, he is
afraid to compete with the woman and that is why he does not like her to study, improve
herself or work; he tends to dominate and control her with his money when she is
economically dependent on him; he does not like her to study, improve herself or work.He
tends to dominate and control her with his money when she is economically dependent on
him; it bothers him when his wife dresses up, puts on make-up or wears attractive clothes;
he does not like his wife to go out with friends or have her own activities that do not depend
on him. All this is a consequence of a great insecurity and, at the same time, a great
dependence that the male has on the woman but does not want to recognize it.
From the sexual point of view, behind machismo lies a very particular duality: for the male
there are only two types of women: the female mother and the female sex. The mother
woman, as her name indicates, is the woman symbol of motherhood, a woman who should
be away from the worldly environment and life's own entertainments. That woman should
only be dedicated to the transcendental mission of caring for, attending to and educating
her children, as well as to providing for all her husband's needs, especially as far as house,
clothing and sustenance are concerned. For the male, the female mother is his mother, his
sisters, his wife and his daughters, whom he encloses in a cocoon and practically
desexualizes.
This desexualization of women is very characteristic of Spanish Judeo-Christian education,
typical of our culture. Sex is often associated with sin, impurity and defilement. The male
wants his woman to be like his saintly mother and, therefore, he will try to domesticate her
and submit her to a type of behavior that he will teach her and impose on her. As a
consequence of this desexualization of the woman, the male will have many sexual
problems in the relationship with his partner, because in a symbolic sense, he seeks in his
wife the continuation of his mother, he desexualizes her and unconsciously there is a
repression towards sexual enjoyment, which causes a chronic dissatisfaction in both
members of the couple.
Sexual dissatisfaction and, therefore, the scarcity of relations with his wife-mother, cause
the male to seek extramarital relations with partners whom he considers the woman-sex.
Here a double life is established and at the same time a double moral that the male
permanently self-justifies. With the wife you cannot have certain types of sexual conduct
because it is immoral, but with the woman-sex it is totally acceptable. With the wife-mother
he attends certain types of activities, places and gatherings, very different from those he
attends with the wife-sex.
A very significant percentage of recovering alcoholics who participate in AA groups and also
of recovering addicts who attend self-help groups maintain this double life: they have a wife
and a mistress, and they have both given them homes and had children with both of them,
but each one maintains her role, one as a mother-wife and the other as a sex-wife. On other
occasions the recovering patient, although he does not have a regular lover, maintains
continuous extramarital relations with other women and there is also the dry drunk who only
looks for the woman-sex in bars, streets or brothels.
Infidelity, which is the fundamental manifestation of sexual and sentimental ungovernability,
implies the presence of several symptoms of dry drunkenness: immaturity, insecurity,
dishonesty, lack of commitment, dissatisfaction, guilt and anxiety.
Anxiety is one of the most common symptoms of dry drunkenness among those who
practice infidelity. Continually lying to the wife about how to justify his unfaithful behavior
keeps him under constant stress. One lie has to be justified by two lies and so on. How
many times the unfaithful person has to give explanations for his behavior. There is never a
lack of gratuitous informants to the wife who put the husband in predicaments who has to
explain his continuous contradictions. There is a traditional Mexican couplet that describes
this chronic anxiety of the womanizer:
The one that makes married couples fall in love
always faded.
Is it because of sleepless nights or fear of the husband?
Sex addiction
Alcoholism and drug addiction constitute an affective disorder of substance addiction. As
we will see later in another symptom of dry drunkenness, sometimes the alcoholic who
achieves abstinence from alcohol or the addict who stops using drugs replaces an addiction
to substances with an addiction to behaviors such as sex addiction.
Just as the effect of alcohol or drugs is a very rewarding experience, so is the practice of
sex. When the alcoholic stops drinking or the drug addict no longer consumes stimulants,
they look for new strong emotions which they find in the practice of sex.
It has been scientifically proven that alcohol produces certain endorphins that stimulate the
brain's reward center. Likewise, certain stimulant drugs such as cocaine or amphetamines
stimulate the production of certain neurotransmitters such as dopamine, which also
stimulates the brain's pleasure center. In sexual orgasm there is production of both
dopamine and endorphins, with the consequent stimulation of the brain reward circuit. As
can be seen, when one addiction is replaced by another, the same type of brain response is
still intended, which is the compulsive obtaining of pleasure.
However, sex addiction is not only manifested by this infidelity behavior typical of the
womanizer. Infidelity is not necessarily a sexual addiction, but the manifestation of a
neurosis resulting from emotional immaturity within a macho subculture. On the other hand,
sex addiction is an excessive, repetitive and compulsive behavior of certain sexual
practices that lead to orgasmic stimulation. Psychiatric pathology calls them paraphilias,
formerly called sexual deviations. Such a denomination was more moralistic than sanitary,
so it was decided to call them paraphilias and use a more scientific and morally neutral
term.
The main sexual paraphilias or addictions are the following:
1. Voyeurism: obtaining sexual pleasure through sight.

2. Exhibitionism: obtaining pleasure through the exhibition of intimate parts.
3. Sadism: obtaining pleasure through violence against others.
4. Masochism: obtaining pleasure through suffering.
5. Pedophilia: obtaining pleasure through sexual manipulation with children.
6. Scoptophilia: obtaining pleasure by watching sexual scenes.
7. Telephone scatophilia: arousal by means of foul conversations over the telephone.
8. Zoophilia: having sexual relations with animals.
9. Necrophilia: (having sexual relations with corpses.
10. Compulsive masturbation: compulsive need to masturbate.
11. Transvestism: obtaining sexual pleasure by wearing clothes of the opposite sex.
12. Fetishism: fixation of sexual pleasure in clothes or objects of a person.
13. Froteurism: obtaining sexual pleasure by rubbing against people.
As can be seen, sexual addiction is already a much more pathological behavior than the
sentimental ungovernable who is basically a lustful male. The pathological behavior of
paraphilias should be treated by a specialist in psychiatry. Unfortunately, a good number of
recovering alcoholics and drug addicts suffer from these disorders.
Psychosexual conflicts in alcoholics We have already analyzed two frequent sexual and
sentimental problems that can produce Dry Drunkenness Syndrome. We will now try to
analyze the unresolved neurotic conflicts that often lead the addict to sexual and
sentimental ungovernability.
Many future alcoholics start abusing alcohol precisely because of their relationship
problems with the opposite sex: they are insecure, self-conscious, have low self-esteem
and find it difficult to approach a person of the opposite sex, so they turn to alcohol and/or
drugs to overcome their inhibitions. We observe this phenomenon more frequently in men
than in women, perhaps due to the rules of the social game that, in some way, force men to
take the initiative when approaching a woman (although in recent years and especially in
the new generations, the phenomenon tends to even out between men and women).
However, we cannot deny that in the female sex there are also many insecure and inhibited
women who have to resort to alcohol to be able to relate to men.
This need for disinhibition finds in alcohol (and in some drugs) the wonderful solution that
allows the person to overcome his complexes, acquire courage, relax from his tensions and
thus be able to approach a woman, talk, dance and perhaps make sentimental and sexual
proposals.
The systematic repetition of this behavior (needing alcohol to be able to relate to someone
of the opposite sex) leads to the development of a conditioned reflex that consists of
associating alcohol and/or drugs whenever there is a need to meet new friends, have to
dance or initiate a new romantic conquest. Even many married men and women need to
drink alcohol in order to have sex.
Many alcoholics who are beginning their abstinence have confessed to me that they have
had many problems with sexual dysfunction after they stopped drinking. These problems
range from decreased sexual desire, erection or ejaculation problems, to outright sexual
impotence. Many women who have quit alcohol or drugs have also reported frigidity or
unsatisfactory relationships since they stopped using.
This problem is solvable. It is necessary to wait for the deconditioning phenomenon to
occur. It is necessary for a certain amount of time to elapse for the associative mechanism
between alcohol and sex or between alcohol and opposite-sex approach to break down.
The breaking of this conditioned reflex will be achieved slowly and gradually through a
learning process: the alcoholic will experiment and become convinced that it is perfectly
feasible to relate to a woman, talk or dance with her and have sexual relations without the
presence of alcohol or drugs. Also, through psychotherapy he will achieve a better
understanding and acceptance of his childhood problems that led him to develop problems
of insecurity, low self-esteem, tension and inhibition every time he tried to approach a
woman (or a man in the case of women).
Sexual repression is as inadequate as sexual abuse. A balanced use of the sexual instinct
is appropriate. Thus, in the AA literature (As Bill Sees It, p. 142) he says the following: "The
instincts with which we were created have definite purposes.
Without them we would not be complete humans. If they did not take care to reproduce, the
Earth would not be populated. Therefore, the desires for sexual intercourse or
companionship are perfectly necessary and right, because they come from God. But these
necessary instincts often exceed their normal functions. Blindly, powerfully and often subtly,
they drive us, dominate us and insist on dictating our lives."
The codependent addict

The phenomenon of codependency is not unique to family members of addicts. There are
many alcoholics and drug addicts who are also codependent, and when an alcohol and/or
drug addict is codependent with his partner, he will have serious problems of sentimental
and sexual unmanageability, which will lead him to develop Dry Drunk Syndrome.
We have already talked about the boy king. That emotional immature person who is very
dependent on his mother and all the women-mothers with whom he relates in his life, be it
girlfriend, mistress or wife. Well, this subject will develop a great dependence, which will
lead him to try to control and dominate the woman in order not to lose her. This will lead him
to develop inappropriate behaviors such as possessiveness, dominance, jealousy, threats,
and sometimes verbal and physical violence. Quitting alcohol or drugs does not exempt
many people in recovery from continuing to manifest these clear symptoms of dry
drunkenness.
When there is a codependent relationship, it is necessary to ask oneself if there is a true
love for the partner or if it is simply a need. "It is not the same to say I love you because I
need you, as I need you because I love you" (Erich Fromm, in The Art of Loving). Saying "I
love you because I need you" is a manifestation of codependence towards your partner,
while saying "I need you because I love you" is a manifestation of mature love.
The core of the psychological problem of the codependent addict lies in his inability to love,
or that he loves without maturity, like a child who needs his mother. Erich Fromm in his
book The Art of Loving, defines mature love as "the expression of productivity involving
interest, respect, care, responsibility and knowledge, an effort to grow and find happiness in
the loved one, rooted in one's own capacity to love". On the other hand, Brenda Schaeffer,
in her book Is It Love or Addiction? defines addictive love as immature, possessive, limiting,
fearful and dependent.
Brenda Schaeffer herself adds that the love addict is a person who seeks support from
someone outside oneself in an attempt to meet unmet needs to avoid fear or emotional
pain, solve problems and maintain balance. "The paradox is that love addiction is an
attempt to gain control of our lives and, in doing so, we get out of control by giving personal
power to someone other than ourselves."
The alcoholic who managed to remove alcohol from the center of his life is now revolving
around a person who has taken the place that alcohol once held. This is why he is in dry
drunkenness, because he has traded addiction to a substance for addiction to a person.
Interestingly, many of these alcoholics, when they lose the person to whom they are
addicted, relapse back to alcohol or drugs. How hard it is for them to reach true liberation!
Are you a misogynist?

Finally we must say something about the misogynist, who is a very pathological and
dangerous type of codependent. Among alcoholics and drug addicts there is a large
number of misogynists.
A misogynist is a man who hates women but cannot live without them. It is a form of
extreme and pathological codependency where the misogynist feels he owns his partner
and therefore dominates, subdues and totally controls her. Any attempt by the partner to
oppose this type of actions generates tensions and very serious problems that may even
lead to physical violence.
Susan Forward, in her book When Love is Hate, characterizes the misogynist as follows:
1. They need to have absolute control of the relationship.
2. They are jealous and possessive.
3. To achieve control, they resort to seduction, blackmail, manipulation, threats,
intimidation, humiliation, verbal and physical aggression.
4. They permanently maintain an attitude of superiority towards their partner to whom
they never give reason.
5. They never apologize. The misogynist convinces his partner that the incident did not
exist.
6. They always shift the blame. If something goes wrong and she assaults her partner,
she is to blame and must apologize.
7. He gets angry if his partner complains about something. She has no right to
complain or cry.
8. When he feels he is losing control he moves from psychological to physical violence.
9. It reduces your partner's world: she can have neither activities nor friendships. She
cannot be herself. He has to know everything he does.
10. It does not tolerate the termination of a relationship. He will always be stalking and
harassing her. He considers himself the owner of his partner.
It should not be forgotten that the misogynist's relationship with his partner is a neurotic
symbiosis, an interdependence of a codependent with another codependent. She also has
to work on her own illness in order to free herself. The main characteristics of the
misogynist's partner are as follows:
1. They are addicted to love.
2. They are nobody if they don't have a man.
3. They are self-sufficient and strong in other areas of life.
4. They are masochists: the more they are assaulted, the more they cling.
5. They hold out hope that something will happen that will change him.
6. They live in fear and insecurity of losing their partner.
Misogyny constitutes one of the most serious forms of dry drunkenness. The prognosis for
these people is quite reserved, as very few accept that they are and do not want to change.
Pathological jealousy and battered woman syndrome are phenomena associated with the
presence of a misogynist in the family.
We end with a quote from Bill W. published in As Bill sees it and taken from Twelve and
Twelve (pp. 282 and 47, respectively):
Whenever a person irrationally imposes his or her instincts on other people,
unhappiness appears. If the pursuit of wealth stumbles other people along the way,
anger, jealousy and revenge will arise. When sex runs amok there is a similar shock.
Excessive demands for attention, protection and love will motivate feelings of
domination or rebellion in the affected persons, two emotions as unhealthy as the
demands that provoked them. This clash of instincts can produce anything from a
hostile rebuff to an incendiary revolution.
Chapter 11
Symptom number 9
Ostrich syndrome: I can't see, I can't hear and I can't speak.
Denial of its non-alcoholic reality with persistence of the mechanisms of
rationalization and projection.
Acceptance of alcoholism is useless if the non-alcoholic reality continues to be denied:

those erroneous areas that revolve around addiction and that, in part, were its cause. Being
content to stop drinking and not wanting to face the reality of the neurotic areas that are
causing the emotional unmanageability is a pseudo-recovery that only leads to existential
mediocrity.
There is a popular belief about ostriches that, when threatened, they hide their heads in the
ground as if to ward off danger. Although insiders claim that this is not true, the story fits like
a glove to many alcoholics who no longer drink, who are in apparent recovery, but who do
not want to know anything about their non-alcoholic reality, those erroneous zones
revolving around their addiction that they do not want to face, because, like an ostrich, they
are afraid to confront that threat to their self-image, and they hide their head in the three-
way hole.They do not want to face them, because, like the ostrich, they are afraid to
confront that threat to their self-image, and bury their heads in the hole of the alcoholic's
three favorite psychological defense mechanisms: denial, rationalization and projection.
Since pretexts were invented, no one is lazy, inefficient, incapable, irresponsible, informal,
lying, unfaithful, unfulfilled, aggressive, jealous, dishonest, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera and
a thousand and one more etcetera.
Who invented the pretexts? He was probably an alcoholic. We have already said that
alcoholics are masters of excuses and champions of pretexts.
When they drank they invented a thousand and one pretexts to justify why they got drunk.
Now that they are no longer drinking and are presumably recovering, they continue to
fabricate pretexts to justify their unruly behavior.
Pretexts are one of the three main ways in which the alcoholic denies his non-alcoholic
reality. These pretexts, which often end up being believed by the subject himself, constitute
what in psychology is known as rationalization. This means that the individual constructs a
false explanation that pretends to justify an inadequate behavior, as a way of not seeing
that neurotic reality.
When a parent hits his child in anger and desperation (and this is still done by many
recovering alcoholics) and then wants to justify himself to the child by saying: "It hurts me to
do this, but it is for your own good", this is a typical example of how a neurotic behavior is
rationalized. The reality that this subject does not want to accept is: "I am an impulsive
individual who does not know how to control my anger and this makes me a battering
parent". The above is unacceptable to his own Self, so he constructs a false argument to
justify himself, which constitutes the following rationalization mechanism: "I am a father
concerned about my son's education so I am forced to hit him sometimes".
The other mechanisms used to deny reality are denial and projection.
The psychological mechanism of denial is defined as a lack of recognition of reality, even if
it is evident, because recognizing such reality would imply a threat to the self and would
damage the subject's self-image.
People who use denial a lot have a distorted perception of their own self-image, but also
have an altered perception of the people they interact with and of their own sociocultural
environment.
Let us continue with the example of the battering father, who in addition to using
mechanisms of rationalization, uses mechanisms of denial of reality. That battering parent
who argues that he has to hit his child "for his own good" has a self-image of a responsible
person, concerned about his child's education and who is very firm and strict with him. As
can be seen, this father has a positive self-image of himself, but it is obvious that this self-
image is distorted, because in the light of objectivity he is an angry person, with poor
impulse control, which makes him a child abuser.
The denier is a person who will always mishandle reality: the reality of his own person, the
reality of the people he relates to and the reality of his environment. By mismanaging your
reality, you will mismanage the situations that arise in your life and failures will not be long
in coming. This is why these types of dry drunks tend to be habitual losers, even if they no
longer drink.
And the third psychological mechanism by which reality is denied is projection, a
mechanism by which an individual frees himself from certain painful or intolerable affective
situations, displacing his own feelings outwardly.
In simpler words: "The lion believes that everyone is like him".
The individual who handles projection as a way of not accepting his own reality places his
own defects, negative feelings or unacceptable behaviors on other people.
A typical example of the projection mechanism is that of the unfaithful husband who is also
very jealous. The more he is a womanizer, the more he will be suspicious and jealous of his
wife. Because he is projecting the unacceptable behavior of his infidelity and sexual
promiscuity onto his own wife. In this way, taking care of and watching over his wife will be
a psychological distractor that will prevent him from facing his own reality of being a
dishonest, unfaithful and disloyal individual, who has never respected the sentimental
commitment with his partner. In this case, his pathological jealousy functions as a screen to
avoid seeing this unfortunate reality of himself.
These mechanisms of denial of non-alcoholic reality are nothing more than a form of
resistance to change. The alcoholic, who is usually an egocentric and narcissistic individual,
i.e., who needs a lot of admiration and respect from others, will be very reluctant to accept
the dark side of his personality. Therefore, when he goes to his AA group, he will never
bring up his own character defects, but he will emphasize his many years of alcohol
abstinence and he will also talk a lot about other people's defects, but not his own. They
see the speck in someone else's eye and not the log in their own.
I can't see, I can't hear and I can't speak

In one of his letters (1966), Bill W., co-founder of the AA, mentions the following: "Too large
a part of my life has been devoted to thinking about other people's shortcomings. This is a
subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction, which allows us to remain comfortably
unaware of our own shortcomings."
"A subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction." What a masterful way to draw the dry
drunk denier of his own reality. In their effort to resist change, those who are content to stop
drinking, but do not want to face their erroneous zones, behave like certain changuitos: one
who covers his eyes (I cannot see), another who covers his ears (I cannot hear) and the
last one who covers his mouth (I cannot speak).
This is exactly what the denier of his non-alcoholic reality is like: he does not want to see
his defects, he does not want to be told about them and much less does he want to talk
about them.
Those who do not want to see their own defects never talk about them and systematically
try to avoid the subject. That is why he is preoccupied with seeing the faults of others.
Either that's why he only talks about his own successes or brags about how many years
he's gone without a drink. That's why he's more concerned about practicing the 12 step
than doing a fourth step. He is the one who says that he does not have to consult
psychiatrists or psychologists, or go to a spiritual counselor, because he finds it hard to talk
about himself, or because he is too afraid to face a reality that terrifies him and that he does
not want to accept.
They also don't want others to talk to them about their character flaws (I don't hear). Many
recovering alcoholics get upset because others make remarks about their attitude or
behavior and then feel attacked by their peers or feel assaulted from the podium when
someone brings up a topic about character flaws they don't want to accept.
Just as they used to get angry when they were in their active drinking stage and someone
brought up the subject of their drinking, now that they have stopped drinking, they are
equally upset when their spouse, a close relative or a friend talks to them about the defect
or inappropriate behavior that they suggest they change. How many have lost a friend or
distanced themselves from a close family member just because they can't tolerate being
told about such shortcomings that they are unwilling to change.
The unconscious or the submerged portion of the iceberg

What we do not want to accept from reality is stored in the unconscious. The three defense
mechanisms mentioned (denial, rationalization and projection) are unconscious, that is,
they are not premeditated acts with the idea of not accepting something consciously, but
are automatic mechanisms of the personality that want to protect the ego. A person who
denies or rationalizes something is not lying, nor is he deceiving anyone, he is only clinging
to an idealized image of himself that protects him from the anguish generated by objective
reality.
This can be better understood if we bring to mind the figure of an iceberg, those immense
blocks of ice that float in the Arctic and Antarctic seas. If we look at it from a distance, we
will only see the portion that emerges from the sea. If we get closer and dive to see it better,
we will discover that the submerged (hidden) part of it is much larger than the visible part.
The motivations of human behavior are similar to an iceberg. The conscious motivations of
our behavior correspond to the visible portion of the iceberg, while the unconscious
motivations, of which we are not aware, correspond to the submerged portion and are much
more frequent than the conscious motivations.
Alcoholism, drug addiction and codependency are diseases of denial. And since most
denial is unconscious, alcoholics, drug addicts or codependents are not aware of their
denial when it is occurring, so it is important to bring denial into reality as soon as possible.
This is achieved through certain psychotherapeutic techniques aimed at destroying the
defense mechanisms.
When an individual chooses a partner he or she has a conscious motivation and many
unconscious motivations. The conscious motivation could be: "I already want to have a
girlfriend" or "I already want to get married", but the choice of the type of partner is
influenced by many unconscious motivations: perhaps a partner is chosen who is very
similar to the subject's mother, or it is possible that a very submissive or psychologically
strong person is selected. All these motivations are unconscious and originate in the
psycho-biographical history of the individual from the earliest experiences of his life.
When the alcoholic is asked to stop drinking and undergo treatment, he feels assaulted and
offended because he denies his alcoholism. When this person claims that he is not an
alcoholic and promises that he will "come down" he is not lying or cheating. The denial
mechanism of reality is protecting his self from being a vicious, degenerate or socially
stigmatized individual and what his ideal self desires is to be a socially accepted individual
who can drink like everyone else does.
When the alcoholic falls into an existential crisis provoked by his alcoholism (hitting bottom),
a very intense inner emotional shake-up occurs, which breaks down his defense
mechanisms and allows him to accept his alcoholic reality.
Something similar happens with the non-alcoholic reality, when the patient has already
started a recovery treatment or joined an AA group. Although he now accepts his
alcoholism, he continues to deny certain evidence about his neurotic areas because he is
entrenched in these defense mechanisms to protect his ideal self. In these cases, the
patient must be submitted to certain psychotherapy techniques in order to break down his
or her defensive mechanisms. Feedback, catharsis, and the pressure exerted by an AA
group on the recovering alcoholic can also be tools to destroy these mechanisms.
In his book From Suffering to Peace, Ignacio Larrañaga points out the following regarding
the unconscious: "Consciousness is like a tiny island, a few square kilometers in size,
situated in the middle of an ocean of unfathomable depths and almost infinite horizons. This
ocean is called the subconscious. Nothing is visible. All is calm. But deep down everything
is movement and threat. There are dormant volcanoes that can suddenly erupt, hidden
energies that hold back the soul of a hurricane, propulsive forces that contain the germs of
life or death".
And Father Larrañaga continues: "Man, in general, is a sleepwalker who walks, moves,
acts, but is asleep. He leans in one direction, and often doesn't know why. He bursts in
here, shouts there; now he runs, later he stops; he welcomes this one, rejects that one,
cries, laughs, sings; now sad, later happy: these are generally reflex acts and not fully
conscious. Sometimes it gives the impression of being a puppet pulled by mysterious and
invisible strings".
The help of psychiatry and psychotherapy
The non-alcoholic denier of his or her reality will live an impoverished, mediocre and
maladapted existence due to the mismanagement of reality on a personal, interpersonal
and environmental level. This will cause you to suffer from a persistent Dry Drunk
Syndrome. As these mechanisms are of unconscious origin, it is very difficult to break them.
In addition to the 12-step program, the help of psychiatry and psychotherapy through
specific techniques is needed to break down these defense mechanisms.
Do not forget what Bill W. in his book AA Comes of Age, regarding psychiatry and denial:
"We drunks are champions at rationalizing and making excuses. It is the psychiatrist's
business to search under our pretexts for the deeper causes of our behavior. Despite
having no training in psychiatry, we can, after spending time in AA, see that our motives
have not been what we thought they were, and that we had been motivated by forces
previously unknown to us. We should therefore take a deep interest in the example set by
psychiatry, hold it in the highest esteem and try to take advantage of it."
And this issue, Bill W. complements it in one of his letters in 1966: "Spiritual development
through the 12-step technique, together with the help of a good sponsor, can usually reveal
most of the deeper reasons for our character defects, at least to a degree that meets our
practical needs. Nevertheless, we should be grateful that our friends in the field of
psychiatry have so strongly emphasized the need to look for false and often unconscious
motives."
The main special techniques used by psychiatry to break down the defense mechanisms of
addicted patients are psychoanalytically oriented psychotherapy, dynamic group
psychotherapy, psychodrama, gestalt therapy, some confrontational group techniques such
as the hot bench, socio-drama, therapeutic cinema-debate, confrontational techniques,
confrontational therapy, psychoanalytic psychotherapy and group therapy.The main special
techniques used by psychiatry to break the defense mechanisms of addicts are
psychotherapy, psychoanalytically oriented, dynamic group psychotherapy, psychodrama,
gestalt therapy, some confrontational group techniques such as the hot bench, socio-
drama, therapeutic cinema-debate, confrontational techniques, marathon therapy and
video-therapy, among others.
Denial of addictive reality is a structural symptom of alcoholism. Non-alcoholic denial of
reality is a structural symptom of neurosis. The alcoholic is an addict and a neurotic, so he
will have to overcome his denial twice. First, to accept that he is an alcoholic or an addict
and once he manages to be clean of alcohol and/or drugs, to accept that he is sick in his
capacity to handle feelings, that he is an emotional ungovernable who will have to
overcome all the neurotic areas that are gravitating around his addiction, in order to grow
emotionally and thus achieve maturity which, added to his abstinence from alcohol and/or
drugs, constitute the two essential elements for him to achieve maturity.neurotic areas that
are gravitating around his addiction, in order to grow emotionally and thus achieve the
maturity that, added to his abstinence from alcohol and/or drugs, constitute the two
essential elements for true sobriety to be achieved.
We end with a quote from Bill W. which alludes to this symptom of dry drunkenness: "The
perverse desire to hide a bad motive beneath a good one, penetrates human affairs from
the top to the bottom. This subtle and elusive kind of Pharisaism can be the foundation of
the smallest act or thought. Learning daily to recognize, admit and correct these defects is
the essence of character building and good living".
Chapter 12
Symptom number 10
Transforming in order not to change
Substitution of alcohol for other drugs or addictive substances
Many alcoholics stop drinking but remain addicted to other substances or other addictive
behaviors. Not only does this prevent sobriety, but they have failed to control their addictive
disorder to which they have simply put on a new disguise.
Some years ago, in a small town, a guy offered all the people in the community to upgrade
their old TV sets in exchange for a certain amount of money. The good people of the place
thought it was a wonderful thing, because in exchange for an amount much less than the
cost of a new television set, they could upgrade their receivers. When they received their
upgraded sets, they were unpleasantly surprised to find that the only thing that had
changed was the outer casing of the set, but the TV still had the same defects as before.
I never knew if the swindler was apprehended and punished, but the above comes to mind
because many alcoholics who stop drinking do exactly the same as the swindler in the
anecdote: they promise a change, but it is only a superficial transformation so that
everything remains the same. These alcoholics who simply trade one drug for another are
cheaters of themselves, their family and the people who expect so much from them; they
are dry drunks.
The same happens with some addicts to other substances, who stop consuming their
favorite drug, but change it for alcohol, happening exactly the same as with alcoholics;
changing one drug for another does not solve the addictive problem, it just puts a new
disguise on it. As the popular saying goes: "The same cat, but with her back to the wall".
The addictive head of the dragon

Do not forget the metaphor of the two-headed dragon to which we have compared the
addictive disease. Addiction is like a dragon that, in order to defeat it, must have its two
heads cut off: the addictive head and the neurotic head.
The addictive head represents the disease of the alcoholic: he is a chemically dependent,
potentially addicted to any substance capable of provoking artificial paradises in his brain.
But it is not only potentially addicted to such substances, but also to any type of behavior
that is capable of stimulating the brain's reward center, such as gambling or compulsive
sex.
The neurotic head represents the psychosocial conflicts of the alcoholic, i.e., his emotional
ungovernability and the whole environment that surrounds him and is conducive to alcohol
and/or drug consumption.
For an alcoholic to truly recover and achieve sobriety, he or she must stop consuming
addictive substances, mature psychologically to better manage his or her emotions and
change environments and friends so as not to be exposed to alcohol and drug
consumption.
When an alcoholic simply stops drinking, but does not overcome his neurotic conflicts, he
falls into Dry Drunk Syndrome.
When an alcoholic gives up alcohol, but substitutes it for another substance or addictive
behavior, not only will he not be able to mature emotionally, but he has also failed to control
his addictive disorder. These alcoholics have not succeeded in cutting off either of the
dragon's two heads.
Reward Deficit Reward Syndrome

The alcoholic is chemically dependent. This means that not only does he have a specific
addiction to alcohol, but he has a neurochemical brain alteration that manifests itself
through an addictive disorder. That is, the alcoholic manifested his addictive disease
through alcohol (just as the cocaine addict manifests his addictive disorder through cocaine
consumption or the heroin addict through heroin). Modern biopsychiatry has developed a
hypothesis based on the latest knowledge of genetics and brain neurochemistry, which is
the theory of Reward Deficit Syndrome (see Libberaddictus magazine, 48).
This theory states that all addicts have a genetic defect that causes their brain to produce a
lower amount of certain substances called neurotransmitters. These substances have,
among other functions, to provoke a feeling of well-being, i.e., to make people feel good.
One of these substances is dopamine, which seems to be the main neurotransmitter
responsible for stimulating the part of the brain called the Brain Reward Center.
People with this genetic defect produce dopamine below normal, so they have to consume
substances that raise the level of dopamine and other related neurotransmitters, such as
serotonin, nor-adrenaline, endorphins and gamma-amino-butyric acid.
Different investigations in the field of biopsychiatry, and especially in the field of addictology,
have shown that alcoholics have this genetic defect, which has also been found in other
types of addictions such as cocaine addiction, addiction to amphetamines and
methamphetamines, compulsive gamblers or compulsive eaters.
Alcohol, cocaine, amphetamines and other drugs are substances that, when consumed,
cause an increase in these neurotransmitters. People with this genetic defect will feel a very
intense pleasurable effect when consuming these substances and, therefore, they will
consume these drugs frequently and intensely until they become addicted to them.
What is most interesting about this research on Reward Deficit Syndrome is that this
genetic defect was also found in people with addictive behaviors: compulsive sex,
compulsive gambling and compulsive overeating.
There is an enormous similarity between the compulsive gambler and the cocaine addict:
The obsession of the compulsive gambler is the intense thrill that gambling generates. This
intense emotion is the result of a release of dopamine that stimulates the brain's reward
center. Clinicians have highlighted the similarity between the euphoric state of arousal of
the gambler and the accelerated state of the cocaine intoxicated. The compulsive gambler
develops a tolerance in which he/she needs to take greater risk and place higher stakes to
achieve the desired level of excitement and experiences symptoms of suppression when no
action is available. A recent study of gambling addicts found that 50.9% of them had the
same genetic defect as alcoholics. This same study showed that among compulsive
gamblers who also had alcoholism or some other form of drug addiction, the percentage of
carriers of the genetic defect increased by 79%.
It has also been scientifically proven that sexual orgasm, as well as a dose of cocaine or the
compulsive ingestion of chocolates, cause an increase in the secretion of dopamine in the
brain's reward circuit.
All of the above means that from a neurobiological point of view, alcoholism, addiction to
marijuana, cocaine or methamphetamines, as well as certain addictions to behaviors such
as sex, gambling or compulsive eating are different manifestations of the same brain
disorder, which is the addictive disease.
Therefore an alcoholic (or any other type of addict) should not think that the only solution to
his problem is to give up alcohol, but that he must overcome all his addictive tendencies
(many articles talk about addictive personality, which was originally thought to be a
personality disorder, but is now certain to be the primary brain disorder of any addict).
These addictive tendencies of the alcoholic make that, when he gives up alcohol, his
natural inertia is to replace it with another drug, because his innate need is to stimulate his
cerebral center of pleasure with certain substances. Thus, by giving up alcohol you may
substitute it with nicotine, marijuana, cocaine, tranquilizer pills, food, sex or compulsive
gambling, in doing so, you are simply substituting one addictive behavior for another, which
is a form of dry binge.
Substitute drugs: hard and soft drugs

The drugs with which the alcoholic tends to substitute alcohol can be divided into soft drugs
and hard drugs.
The main soft drugs are caffeine and nicotine and the main hard drugs are marijuana,
cocaine, amphetamines, volatile inhalants, hallucinogenic mushrooms, tranquilizer pills,
acid (LSD), designer drugs (such as ecstasy or crystal meth) or opium derivatives such as
heroin or narcotic analgesics (Nubain, Darvon, Temazin, Temazin).(LSD), designer drugs
(such as ecstasy or crystal meth) or opium derivatives such as heroin or narcotic painkillers
(Nubain, Darvon, Temgesic, Demerol).
Soft drugs
We call caffeine and nicotine soft drugs because they are legal drugs that do not affect the
individual's behavior and are socially accepted. However, this does not mean that they are
harmless substances, i.e. that they do no harm.
As a sick addict, every alcoholic is compulsive and his favorite substitute drugs are soft
drugs: coffee and nicotine.
In Alcoholics Anonymous groups, in a traditional way, these two substitute drugs are
consumed. However, consuming them in excess, even if they do not affect a person's
behavior, can seriously damage his or her health. And since alcoholics are compulsive by
nature, they tend to consume these substances excessively.
Most alcoholics smoked when they drank. When they stop drinking, they usually increase
their daily dose of nicotine. Many non-smoking alcoholics begin to light up cigarettes when
they stop drinking alcohol.
Tobacco addiction is as severe a health problem as alcoholism. Fortunately, in recent
times, AA groups are becoming more aware of this serious addiction and an increasing
number of groups are now smoke-free; however, many recovering alcoholics are still
severely addicted to tobacco and smoke between 20 and 50 cigarettes a day, on average.
Tobacco has three substances that are very harmful to health: carbon monoxide,
responsible for the vascular and cardiac effects of smoking, tar, which causes cancer, and
nicotine, responsible for the rewarding and addictive effect. The latter substance stimulates
the brain's pleasure center when smoked.
Another great toxic that tobacco has is smoke. Smoke not only harms the smoker, but also
the people who are close to the smoker, the so-called passive smokers, because when they
inhale the tobacco smoke smoked by others, they are also affected. Tobacco smoke
contains 4000 substances, 1200 of which are toxic. Among the main ones are carbon
monoxide and dioxide, ammonia, volatile nitrosamines, nitrogen oxide, hydrogen cyanide,
sulfur derivatives and nitrites, volatile hydrocarbons, alcohols, aldehydes and ketones, as
well as nicotine and tars.
The complications presented by tobacco addicts are as follows:
1. Decrease in life expectancy.
2. Tendency to obstruction of coronary arteries, cerebral arteries and peripheral
vessels.
3. Acceleration or aggravation of atherosclerosis.
4. Chronic respiratory tract disorders: sinusitis, laryngitis, bronchitis, emphysema and
Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD).
5. Cancer of the lung, larynx, mouth, esophagus, bladder and pancreas.
6. Potentiation of the effects of certain environmental carcinogens (asbestos, sulfur
oxide, etc.).
7. Decreased fertility in women and increased miscarriages.
8. Fetal syndrome due to tobacco use in pregnancy: low birth weight, increased
perinatal mortality and stillbirths.
9. Gastric ulcer.
10. Sleep disturbances, depression, irritability and anguish.
11. Aggravation of previous diseases, such as collagenopathies.
12. Modification of the effect of some drugs such as analgesics, theophylline,
imipramine, benzodiazepines, decreasing their pharmacological effect.
Smoking a pack a day increases the risk of:

1. Dying of lung cancer (100%) or any other type of cancer (200%).
2. Suffering from chronic respiratory diseases (400%).
3. Hardening of the arteries and veins (150%) and, therefore, the risk of suffering
cerebral or pulmonary embolisms.
4. Suffer oral lesions (leukoplakia), which are precancerous lesions.
5. Suffering dental lesions (yellowish-brown coloration, loss of enamel and softening of
the gums).
As can be seen, smoking involves a great risk to health and to life. It should not be forgotten
that year after year the two drugs that produce the greatest number of diseases and deaths
worldwide are alcohol and tobacco.
The other soft drug, coffee, is also omnipresent in all AA groups, and there is even an
official coffee maker named in the group who is in charge of serving coffee to his fellow
members.
Coffee is not as harmful as tobacco and consumed in moderate quantities, it does not really
produce any undesirable effects; unfortunately, the compulsive tendency of the alcoholic
makes him consume coffee in excessive doses that can cause him harm.
The main disorders that can be caused by coffee consumed in excess (more than three
cups of coffee beans per occasion):
1. Restlessness, nervousness and excitement.
2. Insomnia.
3. Facial redness.
4. Gastric irritation.
5. Speech and thought acceleration.
6. Decreased fatigue.
7. Cardiac arrhythmias.
8. Psychomotor agitation.
9. Addiction.
Hard drugs
The most commonly used hard drugs among alcoholics who stop drinking are marijuana,
cocaine, tranquilizer pills and methamphetamines. To a lesser extent, volatile inhalants
(cement), hallucinogens (acids, mushrooms, peyote) and opium derivatives (heroin and
narcotic analgesics).
Marijuana (pot, weed) is a neurotoxic drug. This means that if consumed on a regular and
constant basis, it can cause damage to the brain, affecting intellectual functions and
behavior. The active substance in marijuana is 9-delta tetrahydrocannabinol. The higher the
concentration of this substance in the drug, the greater its effect and the greater the
damage it produces.
There are different types of marijuana, depending on the concentration of cannabinols.
Marijuana has a 9-delta tetrahydrocannabinol concentration of 3%. Hashish (the gummy
resin from the flowers of female plants) is the form of marijuana with the highest
concentration of cannabinols (from 7 to 24%).
Almost immediately after smoking marijuana, the person presents intoxication, dry mouth,
accelerated heartbeat, clumsiness in the coordination of movement and balance, slow
reactions and reflexes, and reddening of the eyes. These effects can cause problems in the
visual and motor coordination of people and make it difficult for them to perform complex
tasks. They alter perception and expose the consumer to traffic accidents. Long-term use
causes the same problems as smoking, i.e., cardiorespiratory disorders and cancer. In
addition, there is a greater propensity to infections due to damage to the immune system;
there is a fetal syndrome in the children of mothers who smoked marijuana during
pregnancy, sterility problems in male consumers due to a decrease in sperm production
and, most serious and frequent, brain function disorders with a decrease in intellectual
functions and existential demotivation, which cause marijuana users to drop out of school or
drop out of work.In addition, there is a greater propensity to infections due to damage to the
immune system; there is a fetal syndrome in children of mothers who smoked marijuana
during pregnancy, sterility problems in male consumers due to decreased sperm production
and, most serious and frequent, brain function disorders with decreased intellectual
functions and existential demotivation, which cause the marijuana consumer to abandon
school or work (amotivational syndrome). Finally, acute and chronic psychiatric disorders
may occur, with symptoms of insanity very similar to schizophrenia.
Cocaine is another hard drug that is often substituted for alcohol. This substance is a brain
stimulant that can be administered by inhaling it through the nose in powder form, smoking
it as a stone (crack) or injecting it directly into the vein. It is a highly addictive drug and
when consumed it produces a very intense craving that forces the individual to use more of
the drug and more frequently. It causes a state of acceleration, with irritability and
aggressiveness, palpitations and cardiac arrhythmias that can cause sudden death in case
of overdose. It also causes arterial hypertension, embolisms and cerebral hemorrhages, as
well as insanity known as cocaine psychosis.
Another type of drug that has recently come into use is amphetamines. Of these, the most
commonly used are ecstasy (tachas) and crystal meth (ice), which are consumed by young
people, although adults have also become consumers. The drug produces an intense and
pleasurable sensation of immediate stimulation that lasts for several minutes or even hours.
It also produces insomnia, increased physical activity, excessive sociability and a tendency
to get closer to the body, as well as reduced appetite. Medical problems caused by
prolonged and excessive consumption include increased body temperature, convulsions,
increased heart rate and blood pressure, damage to blood vessels in the brain and strokes,
increased possibility of contracting the AIDS virus due to the sexual promiscuity that these
drugs produce, violent behavior, anxiety, irritability, confusion, intense paranoia and
hallucinations.
Many recovering alcoholics switch from alcohol to tranquilizer pills such as Valium, Ativan
or Rohypnol to calm anxiety and insomnia. Sometimes doctors prescribe them temporarily,
but then the alcoholic self-medicates. These substances, called benzodiazepines, are
central nervous system depressants and have an effect very similar to that of alcohol, so
that, little by little, the person requires higher doses of the drug in order to obtain the same
effects that were achieved with a lower dose. This will be a progressive phenomenon and
will end with an addiction to tranquilizers, with effects and consequences very similar to
those of the alcoholic when he/she drank. It is very delicate and risky to prescribe this type
of medication to alcoholics; therefore, it should be prescribed by a specialist with a lot of
experience in treating addicts and for a short period of time.
As already mentioned, other drugs that can substitute for alcohol are hallucinogens (acid,
mushrooms and peyote), solvents (active) and opium derivatives, both natural and synthetic
(morphine, heroin, narcotic analgesics).
Many alcoholics think that they are only addicted to alcohol, and that they can use other
drugs socially. Nothing could be more false than this. Do not forget that the real disease of
the alcoholic is his addictive disorder, which lies in his diseased brain, and that the
tendency to substitute one drug for another is nothing more than dry drunkenness.
Chapter 13
Symptom number 11
The worshippers of the golden calf
Absent or very impoverished spirituality with intellectual arrogance, tendency to
The real purpose of an alcoholic's rehabilitation is his or her integral recovery, which means
physical, mental, social and spiritual recovery. Some only achieve the first three levels and
are chained to an intellectual arrogance and an extreme materialism that atrophies their
spirituality and prevents them from their true liberation.
Just as the evolution of alcoholism is progressive until death, rehabilitation is also
progressive and growth has no limits. That is why the recovery from addictive disease has
to reach the four levels of which it consists: the physical (detoxification and treatment of
medical complications), the psycho-emotional (self-knowledge, self-acceptance and
overcoming unresolved neurotic conflicts), the psychosocial (reparation of damages,
reconciliation with loved ones and social improvement in all aspects) and, finally, the
spiritual level (acceptance, reconciliation with loved ones and social improvement in all
aspects) and, finally, the spiritual level (acceptance of the addictive disease).Finally, the
spiritual level (acceptance of a power transcendent to oneself, strengthening of faith and
transcendence of the material).
What we have observed in the recovery of many alcoholics is that their recovery itself
generates a self-sufficiency that leads them to a form of intellectual arrogance, and they
develop the conviction that they owe everything to themselves, that they are contemporary
thinking people, very modern, totally free and that they do not need to depend on beliefs
that do not have scientific proof. This is a form of dry drunkenness that can lead them to a
level of such self-sufficiency that they will develop a neurotic omnipotence such that first
they will leave the group ("I know everything and I don't need it") and, second, they will think
that they are cured and can return to controlled drinking (a huge number of long-time
alcoholics have relapsed in AA). everything and I don't need it") and, secondly, to think that
they are cured and that they can go back to drinking in a controlled way (this is how an
enormous number of alcoholics who had been in the AA program for a long time have
relapsed). Or they may also suffer from an unbearable superiority complex that leads them
to behave, both within and outside their group, as if they were the masters of the truth.
And the fact is that many people in recovery, with dry drunkenness, prefer to continue
depending on money, power, sex and prestige, rather than depending on a transcendent
power.
In the AA literature (Twelve and Twelve, p. 39) the following is stated:
The more willing we are to depend on a higher power, the more independent we will
actually be. Therefore, dependence as the practice in AA is in fact a means to achieve
true spiritual independence. In our daily lives, it is surprising to discover how
dependent we really are and how unconscious we are of that dependence. Every
modern house has electrical wires that conduct power and light to the interior. We are
fascinated by this dependence, we are always trying to prevent any damage from
occurring that would deprive us of the current supply. By accepting that we are
dependent on this scientific marvel, we enjoy greater personal independence. Not
only do we have greater independence, but also greater comfort and security. Energy
flows where we need it. Although we are well disposed to accept this principle of
healthy dependence in most of our temporal affairs, we often stubbornly resist the
same principle when we are asked to apply it as a means of developing the spiritual
life. It is quite clear that we will never know freedom under God, until we try to seek
His will for us. The decision is ours.
The above ideas are very wise. You have to read them several times to discover what true
liberation is: the more I depend on a transcendent power, the freer I am.
But on the other hand, higher power is not the exclusive monopoly of AA. Regardless of
any recovery from addictive disease, it is highly desirable for the human being, alcoholic or
not, to develop his spirituality in order to continue to grow. Poverty of spirit is a problem of
our times. The crisis of values plunges contemporary man into this extreme materialism that
turns him into a worshipper of the golden calf.
Existential emptiness and the absence of spirituality

A distinguished psychoanalyst, the originator of logotherapy, Viktor E. Frankl, writes the
following regarding our subject in question:
In reality, today we are no longer faced, as in Freud's time, with a sexual frustration,
but with an existential frustration. The typical patient of our days does not suffer so
much, as in Adler's time, under an inferiority complex, but under an abysmal complex
of meaninglessness, accompanied by a feeling of emptiness, which is why I am
inclined to speak of an existential Void.
This existential emptiness, this lack of meaning in life, is nothing more than the
consequence of the materialism in which man today has sunk, this distancing from God and
the desire to replace him with everything that money buys (pleasure, sex, frivolity,
excessive consumerism), with power and with the advances of modern technology. But let
us continue with Viktor Frankl:
When I am asked how I explain the genesis of this existential void, I usually offer the
following abbreviated formula: Contrary to the animal, man lacks instincts that tell him
what to do and, unlike the men of the past, man today no longer has traditions that tell
him what he should be. So, ignoring what he has to do and ignoring also what he
should be, it seems that he often no longer knows what he wants deep down. And
then he only wants what others do (conformism), or else, he only does what others
want, what they want from him (totalitarianism).
But Dr. Frankl's studies went further. In addition to conformism and totalitarianism (two
forms of psychosocial adaptation as a consequence of not knowing what to do and what to
be) a new form of neurosis arises as a consequence of the crisis of values, conflicts of
conscience and existential frustration of the human being. This form of neurosis (which
Frankl called noogenic neurosis) is, strictly speaking, a different form from the traditional
neurosis that is the consequence of a psychogenic illness.
Frankl also studied the phenomenon of alcoholism and addictions as a consequence of a
lack of meaning in life. Let's hear it:
When a meaning of life, the fulfillment of which would have made a person happy, is
missing, the person tries to achieve the feeling of happiness through a detour that
involves chemistry (alcohol and drugs). In fact, the feeling of happiness is not usually
under normal circumstances the goal of the human tendency, but only a concomitant
phenomenon of the attainment of its goal. But it happens that this concomitant
phenomenon, this "effect" can also be "caught on the fly". Alcohol is one of the
possibilities, as is drug slavery.
In other words, Frankl affirms that the abuse of alcohol and drugs is nothing more than the
consequence of the lack of meaning in life, of the existential emptiness and the lack of
spiritual values in which a large proportion of the world's population lives immersed. Studies
done by Viktor Frankl's students showed that 90% of alcoholics had a marked existential
emptiness complex. In the case of drug addicts, this existential void appeared in 100% of
the cases.
In conclusion: existential emptiness and the lack of a life project with transcendent goals
that go beyond the person himself (a goal to reach, a service to render to others) cause the
individual to fall into an existential alienation that leads him to compulsively seek satisfiers
that allow him to live the moment to find an immediate happiness that replaces the true
happiness of the one who seeks higher goals in his life. All this leads to a terrible poverty of
spirit that will make the subject very vulnerable to the temptations and weaknesses of
existence that will lead to unhappiness and bitterness (typical dry drunkenness). Of course,
this phenomenon is more frequent and of greater magnitude in alcoholics and drug addicts.
That is why the fourth level of the addict's integral recovery has as its goal the development
of spirituality and the setting of higher goals that transcend the individual. As the saying
goes: "He who does not live to serve, is not fit to live".
The therapeutic value of spirituality

Many people tend to compare types of psychotherapy to decide which is best for addiction
patients. They say, for example: Which will be better: to have him go to a professional
therapist or to send him to AA? What they don't think about is that both techniques are
different, but complementary. There are a number of medical and scientific elements that
the 12-Step Program does not work with and, in turn, the 12-Step Program has many
elements that professional techniques do not have.
One of the elements of the 12-Step Program is the promotion of spirituality. Marty Mann, in
his book New Concept of Alcoholism, mentions the following in an attempt to describe what
type of therapeutic organization AA groups are:
Alcoholics Anonymous has been categorized as an organization, a society, a
movement, a fellowship, a semi-religious group, and a method of treatment.
None of these qualifiers is accurate and some are completely wrong. Alcoholics
Anonymous is neither a society nor an organization in the strict sense of the
word; neither is it a semi-religious group, nor a "movement" of any kind. It is
both: a fraternity and a method of treatment, but also many other things; so that
neither of these denominations is sufficiently explanatory. For its own members,
Alcoholics Anonymous is first a return to life and then a model for living. To the
outside world it has been, quite simply, a miracle.
And in referring to what AA teaches the alcoholic to do for himself, in regard to spirituality
he points out that:
The spiritual basis of AA actually involves all the steps of the Program, even for the
alcoholic who believes he has not accepted it, because the attitudinal changes implicit
in the above are spiritual, mental and emotional in nature. As time passes, the
alcoholic regains faith, first in his sponsor and his group, then in himself, then in
humanity, and later in the creator of that humanity.
The spiritual ingredient of the 12-Step Program constitutes a historical precedent in what
was later postulated by a new current in psychotherapy, transpersonal psychology. This
school has developed multiple psychotherapy techniques based on the personal
development of one's own spirituality, which AA has been practicing since 1935.
So important is the spiritual component in the AA program that the phenomenon of
conversion is practically the cornerstone of the therapeutic success of the 12-Step
Program. Conversion is the action of becoming. It is the mutation of someone by a different
one. It is the removal of an undesirable type of life for another favorable one. Conversion is
only achieved through spiritual awakening.
Spiritual awakening is a phenomenon that occurs after some time of working on personal
growth by applying the 12 steps of the Program. I found very revealing the description that
Rafael P., an anonymous alcoholic, gives of his own spiritual awakening (Plenitud, 20,
October 1982):
Spiritual awakening for me is not a situation that necessarily has to manifest itself in a
tangible form, announcing its presence with thunder and lightning or blinding lights,
knocks and cramps. Quite the contrary, spiritual awakening I believe comes subtly,
silently, without us even realizing it, tiptoeing on a one-inch carpet. Not even the
rubbing of feet can be heard.
It is rather a state of mind that overwhelms the person, it is the emotional maturity that
makes you see beyond what we are used to, it is the living love towards the person
himself, towards those who depend on him and towards his fellow men in general; it is
the renunciation of the personal self to yield to the you in a primordial way; it is a
change of the individual state of mind, of the point of view of the person.It is the
renunciation of the personal "I" to yield to the "you" in a primordial way; it is a change
of the individual state of mind, of the person's point of view. The problems are seen
from another wider area and not as reduced as the one we were using with the self as
the limit. It is a perfumed, tenuous or dense mist that envelops us and gets into our
pores, we breathe it in and it sharpens our senses and we see, hear, smell, feel and
taste things better.
Two people had a very important influence on the spiritual component of the 12 Step
Program: the psychologist William James with his book The Varieties of Religious
Experience and the distinguished psychoanalyst Charles Gustave Jung with the epistolary
exchange he had with Bill W. regarding the therapeutic usefulness of the development of
the values of the spirit as a healing resource.
Spirit vs. spirit
In one of the letters that Bill W. sent to Dr. Jung about his conversion experience and the
subsequent influence William James' book had on the program:
Shortly after my conversion experience, my friend Edwin went to the hospital and
brought me a copy of William James' The Varieties of Religious Experience. This
book made me realize that almost all conversion experiences, whatever their variety,
have a common denominator of a thorough ego collapse. The individual faces a
possible dilemma. In my case the dilemma had been created by my compulsion to
drink and the deep sense of hopelessness had been amply deepened by my doctor....
The concept that each newcomer to AA gets to live a spiritual experience is the basis
for the success that AA has achieved. This has made it possible to operate almost
wholesale conversion experiments in practically all the varieties indicated by James.
Regardless of commentary on his personal conversion experience and the influence of
William James, Bill W. notified him of the experience of a former patient of Dr. Jung's, Mr.
Roland H. whom Jung had evicted from his inveterate alcoholism. Upon his return from
Europe from his treatment with Jung, Mr. Roland H. He relapsed again until he joined the
"Oxford" Groups, the historical precedent of the AA groups. In these groups, Roland H. He
experienced a conversion experience, never drank again and set himself the task of helping
others with the same problem. This was the comment made by Dr. Jung:
...but what I really thought about Ronald H. is that his vehement desire for alcohol was
equivalent, on a lower plane, to the spiritual thirst of our being to be integrated into
union with God (My soul thirsts for God). Psalm 41)... The only correct and legitimate
way for such an experience is if it happens to the human being in reality, and that can
only happen when he walks on a path that leads him to a higher understanding. One
can be directed toward that goal by an act of grace or through personal and sincere
contact with friends, or through a higher education of the mind, above the limits of
mere rationalism. From your letter I realize that Ronald H. chose the second path
which, under the circumstances, was the best of them.... You see, alcohol in Latin is
spiritus and you use that word for the highest religious experience and for the most
destructive poison. Therefore, a useful formula is: Spiritu contra spiritus.
The psychological profile of the poor in spirit

Those who maintain a spiritual poverty are the worshipers of the golden calf who, in spite of
having been abstinent for a long time in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, are still dry
drunks, which will prevent them from reaching the true liberation that will lead them to the
fullness of sobriety. This form of dry drunkenness exposes them to relapse or will turn them
into omnipotent Pharisees who will make life miserable for their group mates, their family
members and anyone close to them.
The main characteristics of these individuals are as follows:
1. They are materialistic and skeptical.
2. They are arrogant and overbearing.
3. They confuse spirituality with religion.
4. Their goals are money, prestige and power.
5. They are men of little faith.
6. They resent religion and its representatives.
7. They confuse humility with servility, weakness and inferiority.
8. They substitute spirituality for human omnipotence.
9. His higher power is his own ego.
10. They become preachers (so that no one preaches to them).
11. They feel they own the truth.
12. They do not tolerate criticism or advice from others (intellectual arrogance).
13. His favorite preaching: "Do as I say, not as I do".
14. They have existential emptiness.
15. His life has no meaning.
16. They are competitive, vain and envious.
17. They envy the one who has more. They despise those who have less.
18. They are frivolous and superficial.
19. They are existential sourpusses.
20. They have no transcendent goals.
Of course, it is not necessary to have all these characteristics to qualify as poverty of spirit.
Having at least six of these symptoms is enough to suffer from this type of dry drunk.
Many times, a large number of recovering addicts will have to hit a second bottom in order
to reach spiritual recovery. Only a very strong existential shake-up will provoke that
collapse of the ego that will lead to an authentic spiritual awakening.
We end with this sentence from AA's big book: "We are not cured of alcoholism. What we
actually have is a daily suspension of our sentence, which depends on the maintenance of
our spiritual condition."
Chapter 14
Symptom number 12
They neither hit nor catch nor let them bat
Inappropriate behavior in your treatment, both with your therapist
and in your self-help group.
As a form of ungovernability, many alcoholics and addicts, although they achieve

abstinence, do not take their treatment seriously and although they attend treatment, they
do not respect the therapeutic discipline or the principles of their self-help program. This
prevents them from achieving sobriety, they are constantly exposed to relapse, they get into
a lot of trouble and do not grow emotionally.
In baseball terms, when a person doesn't hit, doesn't field and doesn't let bat not only
doesn't help in any cause but, on the contrary, gets in the way, interferes and sabotages the
objective of such cause.
When, for example, an alcoholic in his AA group engages in inappropriate behaviors such
as being confrontational with his peers, gossiping, becoming romantically involved with a
fellow member, doing business or borrowing, he is moving away from the true and only goal
of AA, which is to help others to stop drinking. But not only is he deviating from the
Program's objective, he is also interfering with the recovery of his peers. This is a form of
dry drunkenness. In other words: neither picha, nor cacha, nor let bat.
But it is not only in self-help groups that this form of sabotage occurs, but also in
professional treatment. Many addicts who seek professional therapy also engage in
inappropriate and sabotaging behaviors, such as not attending appointments, lying to the
therapist, not obeying his or her instructions, or not paying for appointments. The
consequence of these inappropriate behaviors will be relapse or Dry Drunk Syndrome. It is
said that indiscipline in the face of the rules of the treatment game is what is known as
therapeutic adherence.
The addicted patient, according to statistics, is the type of patient with the worst therapeutic
adherence in all medical specialties.
Therapeutic adherence is one of the basic conditions required by any patient for his or her
treatment to be successful and to achieve the programmed objectives.
Therapeutic adherence is understood to mean adequate compliance with all the indications
that make up a treatment program for any type of patient. For example, taking the
prescribed medications, at the prescribed times and in the prescribed doses. Attend your
appointments punctually, obey the doctor's recommendations, such as the type of diet, the
exercises suggested and respect the prohibitions made (for example: do not exert yourself,
do not travel by plane).
When a patient develops an adequate therapeutic adherence, the success in their
treatment will be much more optimal and faster than in others and the chances of relapse of
their disease will be much lower.
On the other hand, when a patient shows indiscipline and inconstancy in his treatment, the
results will be very negative, since the fundamental objective of alleviating or controlling the
disease is not achieved, or he will present complications that aggravate the problem, or he
will simply be relapsing.
All these principles also apply in the treatment of addictions, only here we find a particular
feature: there are two major types of treatment in this field that complement each other:
professional treatment carried out in rehabilitation centers, detoxification clinics, psychiatric
hospitals and medical or psychotherapeutic offices and self-help instances such as
Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous groups.
At the professional medical level, the main behaviors to watch out for are: punctual and
voluntary attendance to appointments, faithful compliance with the doses and frequency of
the prescribed medications, honesty in everything told to the doctor and constant
communication with family members concerned about the recovering addict.
In professional psychotherapy treatment, the main manifestations of good therapeutic
adherence are: attendance to their appointments without failing, punctuality in the
appointments, participative cooperation of the patient in the psychotherapy, honesty in what
is said, no manipulation, compliance with the tasks that the therapist indicates between
sessions, compliance with the rules of the game imposed by the therapist (Regarding
punctuality, attendance, payment of fees, timely cancellation of their appointments). In
professional group psychotherapy, in addition to the characteristics already mentioned, it
includes respect for the rules established for the development of group sessions.
As far as the self-help groups are concerned, there are rules and a philosophy of the
Program that must be followed to the letter. These rules are contained in the so-called
twelve traditions whose purpose is to regulate and protect both the members of the group
and the AA movement as a whole. On the other hand, each group has its own rules (such
as time limits on the use of the rostrum, smoking bans, coffee rules, etc.).
It has already been mentioned that some statistics have shown that addicted patients have
the lowest levels of therapeutic adherence. The addict is an individual with a short career: it
is common that he does not finish what he starts; he is inconstant, he is very enthusiastic
about something at the beginning and soon gets bored and quits; he does not like to be
imposed rules and is not used to discipline himself. Therapeutic adherence requires all of
this, and the recovering alcoholic has a hard time applying it.
The addict is a sick person who not only does not accept treatment to control his disease,
but strives to continue suffering from it. And when he accepts a treatment to stop using, he
is satisfied with abstinence, but resists to make other changes that are necessary to
overcome his neurotic areas; thus, his attitude towards treatment is characterized by many
resistances and reluctances to those changes. His attitude towards the treatment is
characterized by many resistances and reticence to these changes, his behavior is anarchic
and ungovernable, he does not respect the rules of the therapy and assumes inadequate
and undesirable behaviors that only endanger his recovery.
Negative attitudes in the group

Negative attitudes and inappropriate behaviors by members of AA or other self-help groups
are unmistakable symptoms of resistance to change. Typical dry binge: the addict stops
drinking or using drugs, but continues to maintain the same neurotic behaviors that were
present in the active stage of the disease.
Many alcoholics come to the group under pressure from family, work or civil authorities.
They arrive without much conviction, but because they do not want to lose their family,
become unemployed or be incarcerated, they accept the condition of not continuing to
consume alcohol and/or drugs, but they do not have the slightest awareness of the need for
emotional growth. These addicts are the ones who expect a reward for staying clean: That
his wife will forgive him and come back to him, that he will get his job back, or that he will be
acknowledged, with admiration and gratitude, for the fact that they have stopped drinking.
Other addicts find in their group a way to exploit their neurotic tendencies: some are
exhibitionists and take over the rostrum, others have a neurotic need for power or prestige
and use the group to be able to feed their ego, so they become controlling of the group and
their peers, provoke gossip, speak ill of other group members or engage in cheap politics
with peers in order to continue to have influence and be able to control the group.
There are others with sexual and sentimental problems who fall into the so-called 13th step:
they become romantically or sexually involved with partners of the opposite sex, which
generates a series of problems that almost always end up in one or sometimes both people
involved ending up away from the group because of problems between them or because of
the gossip of the other partners about their romance.
Most people who fall into the practice of step 13 are either sentimentally unmanageable or
sexually unmanageable or both. They use the group as a resource for the practice of these
neurotic tendencies. Most of the times, this type of sentimental (or only sexual) attachment
tends to be sick, a pathological relationship that in a short time begins to have conflicts,
appearing phenomena such as jealousy, deception, disappointment and resentment; they
usually have a bad ending and, in not few cases, abandonment of the group or relapse
occurs.
Unfortunately, many dry drunks tend to exhibit this Step 13 behavior in every group they
come to. These cases have a higher pathology and are probably changing their addiction to
alcohol or drugs for an addiction to sex or conflictive relationships. This type of case needs
professional attention from a psychologist or psychiatrist.
In some cases the godfather or another person of the group with certain ascendancy over
the others, takes advantage of this condition to manipulate sentimentally or sexually seduce
a companion. This situation is very serious, as it is unethical and contravenes the principles
of the Program, since far from helping someone who is suffering, it is creating another
major problem that could forever take away the opportunity for recovery. The church in
Luther's hands!
But it's not just men who try to seduce women. Many female members of AA groups,
because of their own sentimental ungovernability, want to satisfy their neurotic need for
affection by getting involved with some of their peers. This symptom of unresolved dry
drunkenness often transforms into inappropriate behavior in the group, giving rise to these
problematic romantic entanglements.
Others, on the other hand, see the group as a means to solve their economic problems:
some go into business with their companions, others bring their own merchandise to the
group (jewelry or watches); there are those who specialize in borrowing from other
companions (and never repay), and finally some go in search of work.
All these activities, besides distracting the person from the true objectives of the Program,
often provoke conflicts among peers and many stop going to the group, others are left with
a bad impression of what the AA program is.
Some misrepresent the use of the podium and instead of using it for history or catharsis,
they use it to attack or disqualify other colleagues; exhibitionists, for example, take over the
podium whenever they can and abuse the presentation time, preventing others from
participating. Some others are particularly aggressive and disrespectful because of the type
of language they use, abounding in high-flown words or vulgar expressions that intimidate
or offend many of the members of the group.
Another form of inappropriate behavior is the passivity of those who only drink coffee and
remain seated in their seat, distracting other colleagues with jokes or comments when
someone is speaking at the podium. This type of person attends the group as a form of fun
or socialization, or also as a form of escape from family responsibilities. They are the ones
who arrive late to the session, but stay late into the night in coffee therapy.
Indifference, arrogance, discrimination, mistreatment of newcomers to the group are other
negative attitudes of some recovering alcoholics and are nothing more than symptoms of
dry drunkenness. Although the spirit of the Program is to reach out and unconditionally help
and support the newcomer with a lot of understanding and love, unfortunately some
members do not adhere to these principles and treat them inconsiderately by ignoring,
discriminating or assaulting them. Sometimes they try to take over your life by taking control
of all the important decisions you have to make. These attitudes are nothing more than
manifestations of dry drunkenness of alcoholics who have not resolved certain neurotic
needs of their ego and who use such attitudes to experience the sensation of power that
ego hypertrophy provokes in a person going through a moment of existential crisis and
emotional vulnerability.
Not respecting anonymity is another form of inappropriate group behavior. Anonymity
originally appeared to protect the person in recovery from the misunderstanding and
prejudice people had about alcoholism during the early years of AA.
But nowadays, when there is universal acceptance of alcoholism as a disease and AA
groups have a great recognition, anonymity is more to protect the other, to protect the
intimacy and confidentiality of what is said on the podium and that it does not leave the
geographical limits of the group. Nevertheless, some comment, murmur, criticize or gossip
about the confidences that their colleagues expose in the tribune. Sometimes they take
advantage of this information to obtain favors of different types: economic, labor, social,
sentimental or sexual. What a dry drunk!
Inappropriate behavior in professional treatment

Regarding professional treatment, it has been mentioned that many patients are not
convinced about treatment, and this is because they accept the problem but are pressured
by their family, by their boss or by society to attend treatment. These patients do not go to
therapy as a function of themselves, but as a function of those who are pressuring them for
treatment. The result will be poor cooperation with the therapist, not telling the therapist the
truth in interviews, lying about use, avoiding the subject of alcoholism or addiction, and
instead wanting to talk about other complaints, such as insomnia or nervousness.
On the other hand, there are others who have every intention of making fun of their
therapist and proving to others that no one will be able to beat them. How many alcoholics
or drug addicts constantly deceive the doctor or psychologist by telling them that they have
not been drinking or using drugs, and leave the office very happy thinking that the therapist
believed what they were told and that they "won the battle", as if attending psychotherapy
were a battle where one wins and the other loses. But the only one who loses is the
alcoholic who will continue with the progression of his disease until more terrible things
happen to him. The only thing that the addict's relatives and the therapist will lose is their
money, the former, and their time, the latter.
Another way of self-sabotaging treatment as a manifestation of resistance to change is to
systematically miss or cancel appointments, or to disobey the doctor's instructions
regarding medication dosage or certain recommendations in their daily activities. Many
alcoholics are only interested in the prescription of a tranquilizer, without respecting the
dosage indicated by the doctor, which is almost always increased and used to replace
alcohol.
Another form of inappropriate behavior is that which some patients assume in the office:
they hardly speak at all or limit themselves to answering "yes", "no", "very well", "nothing", "I
don't know", "who knows", etcetera. This type of attitude is typical in drug-addicted
adolescents or young adults who have not accepted their disease and have no desire to
change. Some are very argumentative and compete with the therapist to see who knows
more. These types of patients, while accepting their illness and agreeing to abstinence from
alcohol and/or drugs, are resisting more profound changes in their attitudes, behavior or
interpersonal relationships.
Finally, aggression or seduction are two mechanisms for sabotaging psychotherapy. Some
systematically attack the therapist to provoke his or her anger and provoke him or her to
attack them or dismiss them from the consultation, and then justify themselves to others,
adopting the role of the therapist's victim. Others, on the other hand, assume seductive
attitudes (money, influence, power, romance or sex) to first ally with and then control the
therapist, thus invalidating the objectives of the treatment. Unfortunately there are many
therapists who fall into this game.
What kind of alcoholic am I?

In closing, I will reproduce a message that arrived in my e-mail and which I think is very
appropriate for the subject of this chapter. The message is entitled What kind of alcoholic
am I?
What a question, right, it started to tickle me.
in my heart, after reading St. Albert the Great, for
who there are three plenitudes:
That of the glass: which retains and does not give.
That of the channel: which gives and does not withhold.
That of the source: which creates, retains and gives.
And then I understood that there are human-vessel alcoholics whose only occupation
is to store virtues, science and wisdom, objects and money. They are those alcoholics
who think they know all there is to know, have all there is to have, and consider their
task finished when they have completed their storage.
They cannot share their joy, or put their talents at the service of others, or even share
wisdom. They are extraordinarily sterile, servants of their selfishness, jailers of their
own human potential. On the other hand, there are the human-channel alcoholics:
those who spend their lives doing and making things. Its motto is to produce, produce
and produce. They are not happy if they do not perform many, many activities and all
in a hurry, without wasting a minute. They believe they are at the service of others, the
fruit of their productive neurosis, when in reality their actions are the only way they
have of calming their deficiencies: they give, give and give, but do not retain. They
keep giving and feel empty.
But we can also find human-source alcoholics who are true wellsprings of life.
Capable of giving without emptying themselves, of watering without diminishing, of
offering their water without running dry. They are those who splash droplets of love,
confidence and optimism, illuminating our own life with their reflections. (Emilio)
Unquestionably, the source-human alcoholic is the witness of true sobriety, who in being
helped, helps and in helping, is helped.
The other two types are nothing more than sophisticated and masked forms of dry
drunkenness.
Chapter 15
THE 12 SYMPTOMS OF SOBRIETY
Just as there are 12 symptoms of dry drunkenness, 12 symptoms of sobriety have also
been classified. This not only consists of avoiding the symptoms of dry drunkenness, but
also involves promoting the positive aspects of each person.
In the previous chapters we have discussed each of the symptoms of dry drunkenness.
Now we will expose the other side of the coin, that is, we will look at the enlightened side of
human behavior.
In the human being there are both positive and negative potentialities. Unfortunately, it is
easier to develop negative potentialities than positive ones.
In man there is bad yeast. We are imperfect by nature and twisted inclinations, passions
and concupiscence lead us to the development of character defects, capital sins or simply
the ungovernability of emotions to which we give the wrong channel. When the recovering
addict falls into this negative inertia of emotions he or she develops Dry Drunk Syndrome.
We all have flaws and qualities. Defects are more noticeable. No one complains about the
qualities and, therefore, we notice them less. Evil is always more noticeable than good. In
the media (newspapers, radio, television), bad news occupies the first place: crimes, frauds,
aggressions, politicians' transgressions. No mention is ever made of the married couple
who have been faithful to each other for 25 years, or of the modest bureaucrat who has
been in the same job for 15 years and has been working honestly. Imagine a newscast
dedicated only to spreading good news and generous actions. It would probably have no
ratings and would be described as very boring. The morbid outweighs the clean.
Sometimes something similar happens in self-help groups: people focus more on the bad
than on the good. The ones with negative attitudes always stand out the most: the one who
is very aggressive, the liar or the one who got involved with a groupmate. In contrast,
colleagues who maintain their abstinence, who are consistent in their attendance at groups,
who do not pick on anyone, who are respectful of others, who use the rostrum but do not
abuse it, and who lead a quiet and positive private life, tend to go unnoticed. This is why I
believe it is fair to highlight the positive side of the recovering addict.
In the present chapter, we will go into the positive side of the alcoholic patient (and of the
addict in general), which, fortunately, is very broad. The alcoholic has many qualities and
thanks to those qualities a handful of recovering alcoholics built one of the most beautiful
and transcendent projects of humanity: the 12 Step Program, which has saved many lives,
not only of alcoholics, but of many other suffering people who, thanks to that program, have
been able to find light, peace and serenity in their lives.
The fundamental idea we wish to convey to the recovering addict is to make him aware of
his great qualities. The alcoholic is such a guilt-ridden person and has been so negatively
singled out by others that he thinks he has no qualities. Many addicts believe that they are
just one big set of defects and that all their lives they will have to fight against them. But
they do not realize that they have great potential and very positive aspects that they have
developed little or nothing throughout their lives. In general, we can say that the qualities of
the alcoholic are atrophied.
Alcoholics are sensitive people, have good feelings, are intelligent, and use their
intelligence to get what they want, are sociable, friendly, pleasant, light-blooded, noble,
loyal to their friends, supportive, generous, charitable and very sentimental. All of these
qualities can take anyone very far.
The fundamental principle here is the following: To achieve the optimal mental health that
sobriety implies, it is necessary not only to avoid illness, but to promote health and, in the
case of addicts, primarily mental health. To be good we must not only avoid evil, but
promote good.
Therefore, we can define the concept of sobriety as the absence of neurosis or emotional
ungovernability, with the active presence of a set of gifts or virtues, systematically applied in
the daily life of the person in recovery, which, in addition, imply emotional maturity and inner
harmony.
We have called this set of gifts or virtues the symptoms of sobriety, and of course there are
also 12 of them, the same number as the symptoms of dry drunkenness, but in their
positive counterpart. The 12 symptoms of sobriety are as follows:
1. Freedom, responsibility and productivity.
2. Honesty.
3. Generosity and reconciliation.
4. Forgiveness and self-affirmation.
5. Humility, dignity and serenity.
6. Safety and assertiveness.
7. Action.
8. Transcendence in the relationship and inner harmony.
9. Self-knowledge and self-acceptance.
10. Self-discipline and balance.
11. Lighting.
12. Solidarity and respect.
The exercise of sobriety

As can be seen, these 12 symptoms represent the counterpart of the 12 symptoms of dry
drunkenness.
The first symptom, freedom, productivity and responsibility, is an essential characteristic of
maturity, the counterpart of immaturity or the first symptom of dry drunkenness. The
individual who manages his freedom responsibly achieves the productivity that will allow
him to achieve autonomy, both emotionally and materially. This person is the total
counterpart of the child king, who is neither free, responsible nor productive.
The second symptom speaks for itself: honesty, contrary to the permanent attitude of
dishonesty towards oneself and others, or the second symptom of dry drunkenness.
Honesty implies a commitment to oneself and to one's values and principles. An honest
person neither betrays himself nor betrays others and, therefore, his attitude towards life will
be one of righteousness and honesty.
Generosity and reconciliation constitute the third symptom of sobriety. In other words, the
opposite of bitter and existential dissatisfaction due to the persistence of resentments.
Generous people have a positive mind, they look at the good side of things; they see the
glass as half full and not half empty; they have the ability to forgive and let go of the past;
they look forward, but live in the present.
Forgiveness and self-affirmation constitute the fourth symptom of sobriety, its counterpart is
the persistence of guilt and the neurotic need for atonement. People with these qualities
have adequately worked through the process of self-forgiveness; they recognize and accept
their failures, experience emotional pain for everyone they have affected, develop genuine
remorse, and make an honest decision not to make the same mistakes again. This makes
them feel good about themselves and others, thus improving their self-esteem and
increasing their self-worth.
Serenity and humility, the fifth symptom of sobriety, are the opposite side of the self-
centered, self-sufficient and angry. A serene individual is one who does not lose objectivity,
who is analytical in facing problems, who thinks first and then acts; who accepts reality with
moderation, no matter how hard it may be. The humble are individuals who have accepted
themselves, who practice tolerance and who are accepting, patient and prudent. They are
reconciled with themselves and with others.
The sixth symptom of sobriety is assertiveness, that is: the ability to say yes when you want
to say yes and to say no when you want to say no. The assertive person is a self-confident
person, while the insecure person is always anxious. Thus, in a way, assertiveness is the
counterpart of distress. The assertive person, in general, is an individual with high
aspirations, who knows where he wants to go and is always looking for success, although
he knows how to accept and overcome his defeats.
Seventh symptom: action. This is a great quality of sobriety. Action as a counterpart to
depression. The action implies an enterprising and constructive character. Active people
are individuals who know where they want to go; they are persevering and constant; they
finish what they start; they tend to overcome defeats or failures; they apply the "little by little
goes a long way". Action leads to productivity, achievement of goals and self-fulfillment.
These people are existentially satisfied and self-realized, positive, self-confident and have a
good self-concept and high self-esteem.
The eighth symptom of sobriety is transcendence in relationship and inner harmony. These
are the virtues opposed to sexual and sentimental ungovernability. People with such
qualities have stable and deep relationships with others. Their maturity has allowed them to
develop the capacity to love. They do not lose their equanimity in the face of the
temptations of sex, power or money. They are proud of themselves, their partner and their
family in general. They practice loyalty and fidelity and are monogamous. Their
relationships are responsible, transcendent and lasting. They genuinely care for their loved
ones and provide them with care and attention. They respect each other's individuality and
are not possessive or controlling. They accept the autonomy of others and demand respect
for their own. They know how to accept endings when a love cycle ends.
Ninth symptom: self-knowledge and self-acceptance. A sober person develops a full
awareness of his own reality and learns to accept it no matter how hard and difficult it may
be, as opposed to one who systematically denies his non-alcoholic reality. The former have
developed an existential analysis of the main emotional events of their life (fourth step).
Once they know themselves, they accept themselves as they are, including defects,
limitations and qualities. Having developed self-acceptance, they work to maximize their
qualities and minimize their shortcomings. This allows them to see more objectively the
areas of their life that require change.
Tenth symptom: discipline and balance. These fundamental gifts of sobriety prevent the
recovering alcoholic from substituting one addiction for another. They tend to seek the right
middle ground in their decision making. They avoid jumping from one end to the other when
changing. They are regular attendees at their self-help or professional treatment group.
They do not become complacent or develop complacency about their recovery. They
demand of themselves, practice self-criticism and constantly apply the cross of sobriety
(family, work, fun, rest and care of physical and mental health).
Eleventh symptom: humility, compassion and spirituality. These qualities of sobriety
integrate the gift of enlightenment that allows the development of higher needs. It is the
counterpart of the eleventh symptom of dry drunkenness which is the absence of
spirituality. Humility refers to having the fortitude to accept that one needs the help of
others. Humility entails compassion, which is the capacity to be moved by the suffering of
others. This generates spiritual needs, such as the development of an inner life that gives
rise to recovering or developing faith: in oneself, in others and in a power that transcends it;
as well as the practice of prayer, reflection and meditation as tools to deepen one's inner
life.
The twelfth and last symptom: solidarity and respect. Great gifts of sobriety that refer to a
healthy and respectful relationship with others. This symptom of sobriety prevents the
development of the twelfth symptom of dry drunkenness which is inappropriate behavior in
the group and in its treatment. A caring and respectful person has a spirit of service and a
vocation to help others unselfishly. In the service he provides, he does not seek money,
prestige, sex or power. He does not seek recognition or manipulate others in exchange for
his help. He does not flaunt his service or impose his ideas on others. They find great
satisfaction and gratification in helping others.
Sobriety is a slow and evolutionary process, that is, it does not take a short time. The first
condition to achieve it is to stop drinking for a prolonged period of time that allows the
person in recovery to begin to savor and enjoy the sweetness of abstinence and then begin
the therapeutic work of the different phases of recovery, through the punctual observance of
the 12 steps, professional therapy and spiritual counseling.
Do not forget that the rehabilitation of an alcoholic is progressive. A person's self-
improvement has no limits. From the vicious circle of alcoholic illness leading to madness,
disease and death, one can move to the virtuous circle of sobriety leading to harmony,
existential fulfillment and transcendence.
Chapter 16
From abstinence to sobriety
Once the 12 symptoms of dry drunkenness and the 12 symptoms of sobriety are known,
the next step is to develop an active program to convert the symptoms of the former into
symptoms of the latter.
In other words, one should not be satisfied with avoiding negative symptoms, but work
actively to stimulate positive and constructive behaviors, based on the daily practice of the
symptoms of sobriety.
In other words, turning negative behavioral habits into positive habits. Man is a slave to his
habits: it should not be forgotten that every alcoholic, before becoming addicted to alcohol,
had developed a habituation to alcohol; that is, the negative habit of consuming alcohol to
relieve his tensions, to escape from his problems or to face particularly difficult situations in
a state of sobriety. Eventually that habit became excess and excess became addiction.
There are two types of habits: bad and good. Man is a slave to all of them, but if he
changes his bad habits for good habits, he will become a slave to the latter and this will
positively and constructively transform his behavior.
A bad habit, deeply rooted in alcoholics, is to reverse the schedule of their sleep-wake
cycle. They go to bed very late and get up very late. This affects their existential
functionality and generates family, school and work problems. Because these individuals
become slaves to their bad habit of reversing their sleep schedule, every time they have to
get up early (because they have to catch a plane at a certain time or an important work
appointment) they have a very hard time getting up early and will often have problems
(missing the plane or not making it to that work appointment).
Transforming this bad habit into a good habit, i.e. going to bed early and getting up early,
will involve a long process of self-discipline and re-adaptation, so that little by little you will
acquire this good habit. The process will be as follows:
1. Become aware that you have a bad habit.
2. Acceptance of this bad habit.
3. Determination to eliminate the bad habit.
4. Self-observation and self-monitoring.
5. Constant discipline to achieve change.
6. Becoming a slave to the good habit.
With these six requirements, change can be achieved. Of course, this will not be fast or in a
straight line; it will be prolonged, with advances, setbacks and relapses.
In our example, a recovering alcoholic who, even after quitting drinking, was still going to
bed at 2 or 3 a.m. and getting up at 11 or 12 a.m. the next day, will have to become aware
of the problem, apply the six steps above, until he or she develops the good habit of going
to bed early and getting up early.
What does it mean to become a slave to the good habit? Imagine our recovering alcoholic,
who in a span of four months managed to transform his bad habit into a good habit. He now
goes to bed early every day (at 11 p.m., for example) and gets up at 7 a.m. to run for half
an hour every day. The habit is so ingrained that when our alcoholic becomes a slave to the
good habit (of getting up early and running every day), the day he cannot get up to run he
will feel bad, and certain symptoms of psychological discomfort and listlessness will appear.
You are going to feel bad about not getting up early to run. He will have become a slave to
his good habit and although I recognize that the word slavery is not the most appropriate,
as no kind of slavery is ever desirable; here we simply use this concept to emphasize the
importance of developing good habits.
It will therefore be necessary for each alcoholic to make a list of all his bad habits (based on
the 12 symptoms of dry drunkenness) and another list corresponding to the good habits
(based on the 12 symptoms of sobriety) in order to develop a plan of action and achieve his
goals.
In the list below, you will see on one side the symptom of dry drunkenness (negative
symptom, bad habit) and on the other side the symptom of sobriety (positive symptom,
good habit).
1. Immaturity and infantilism vs. Freedom, responsibility and productivity.
2. Dishonesty vs. Honesty.
3. Resentment vs. Generosity and reconciliation
4. Guilt vs. Forgiveness and recovery of self-esteem (self-affirmation).
5. Pride and omnipotence vs. Humility, dignity and serenity.
6. Distress and fear vs. Safety and assertiveness.
7. Depression vs. Action
8. Sexual and emotional ungovernability vs. Transcendence in the relationship and
inner harmony.
9. Denial of their non-alcoholic reality vs. Self-knowledge and self-acceptance.
10. Pathological substitution vs. Self-discipline and balance.
11. Absence of spirituality vs. Lighting.
12. Inappropriate behavior in the group vs. Solidarity and respect.
In this list we can observe, in a quick and schematic way, the character defects or bad
habits vs. virtues of character or good habits.
Thus, the alcoholic or addict in rehabilitation will be able to make a list of his main
symptoms of dry drunkenness and another list of the symptoms of sobriety that he will
acquire in an active way, working patiently and disciplined, and he must forget the myth that
stopping drinking will automatically fix everything and that abstinence alone will turn the
symptoms of dry drunkenness into symptoms of sobriety. This is a very passive attitude that
will lead them to a mediocre and bitter life.
The following are the main characteristics of the 12 symptoms of sobriety.
Freedom, responsibility and productivity

What are the main symptoms of emotional maturity? Freedom, responsibility and
productivity. Freedom means to break all the ties of neurotic dependence that chain me to
others; to assume responsibility for one's own decisions and their consequences; not to
expect the approval of others, but only one's own. In this way, a person is truly free.
Freedom should not be confused with libertarianism. The fundamental difference between
these two terms is liability. When freedom is exercised responsibly, an adult behavior is
assumed, since the individual imposes his or her own limits. There are no limits to
debauchery. The child king practices licentiousness, the mature adult practices freedom
with responsibility.
The logical consequence of applying freedom with responsibility is productivity: an
individual is autonomous if he is responsible, assumes his commitments and is
economically self-sufficient, through honest and responsible work. This is productivity.
In other words, an emotionally mature individual exhibits the following characteristics:
1. Makes decisions on his or her own, without seeking approval from others.
2. He uses his free will responsibly.
3. Dares to change (boldness without impulsiveness).
4. It does not allow the imposition, control or manipulation of others.
5. It does not tolerate dictatorships, irrational authority or unconditional submission
(rational rebellion).
6. It is not chained to any dogma, to any cause or to any person.
7. Takes responsibility for self and others.
8. Has the capacity to love without developing dependencies (emotional autonomy).
9. He takes responsibility for those he loves.
10. Their emotional detachments do not imply sentimental ruptures.
11. He usually finishes what he starts and achieves his goals.
12. Achieve economic self-sufficiency.
13. It is productive through honest work.
14. It achieves its economic improvement and material achievements.
Honesty
Honesty is a good habit that is difficult to acquire. We had already said, when talking about
the symptoms of dry drunkenness, that the habitual dishonest person brings such inertia in
his lies and dishonest attitudes, that he continues to practice them habitually once he stops
drinking.
Therefore, he must develop a great moral conscience in relation to respect for the truth and
conduct himself with rectitude and honesty in all the acts of his life. The dishonest person,
master of excuses and champion of pretexts, has a hard time accepting this symptom of dry
drunkenness because it is not convenient for him to continue with his life habits. He who
truly aspires to sobriety will have to become a very ethical and upright person, and the truth
will have to prevail against any other argument.
The main characteristics of the honest individual are the following:
1. Truth is a fundamental value
2. He says what he thinks and does what he says (congruence between his way of
thinking and his way of acting).
3. He tells the truth even if it hurts him.
4. Does not take advantage of others
5. He keeps his word and respects the agreements he makes.
6. Express disagreement even if it doesn't seem to others.
7. It does not accept bribes or undue complicity.
8. He is loyal to his friends and faithful to his loves.
9. He is honest: he handles money with rectitude and transparency.
10. Respect laws and regulations.
Generosity and reconciliation

The development of these two great virtues is the antidote for those who are chained in
their resentments Many people have irreconcilable hatreds and grudges, others think that
being generous is a form of stupidity or weakness. The chronically bitter person is angry
with himself, with others, with the world and with God; he sees everything wrong. The
pessimist does not believe that there are good feelings in the world or that good people
exist. This is a perverse projection of their own bitterness and resentment.
What a great virtue it is to forgive, to reconcile with those with whom one has had old
grievances; to be generous and to put aside pride and a misunderstood concept of personal
dignity. When the bad habit of resentment is exchanged for the good habit of reconciliation,
a great weight is lifted off one's back. The fundamental characteristics of a generous person
are the following:
1. Emphasizes the positive in others and situations (sees the glass as half full, not half
empty).
2. Has interest and concern for others.
3. He is a good listener.
4. It gives him more satisfaction to give than to receive.
5. He has a vocation for service.
6. He does not hold grudges.
7. He knows how to apologize.
8. Accept apologies from others and grant forgiveness.
9. He has the ability to negotiate in conflicts and knows how to give in.
10. Live in the present.
Forgiveness and self-affirmation

The persistence of guilt provokes a terrible phenomenon of emotional ungovernability: the
neurotic need for atonement. This pathological need for self-flagellation leads to the
development of a very low self-esteem; the sufferer thinks that he/she is not worthy of
success or triumph. The best antidotes to this terrible neurosis are forgiveness and self-
affirmation.
Sometimes it is easier to forgive others than to forgive oneself
The alcoholic is an extremist and perfectionist and sometimes develops so much self-
hatred for having failed that he will never forgive himself and will subject himself to
permanent psychological self-flagellation. This inability to forgive himself will lead to a
persistent low self-esteem that will prevent him from progressing and achieving success.
That is why it is so important to develop the good habit of self-forgiveness, not to take
oneself so seriously, to abandon a little those tendencies of rigid perfectionism and to
accept that human beings are imperfect by nature, and that the same human condition of
imperfection eventually leads us to commit inadequate acts.
Self-forgiveness is a form of self-acceptance. To the extent that I am self-accepting, I am
self-affirming in the positive and negative characteristics of my personality. I will try to
develop the positive characteristics to the maximum and reduce the negative characteristics
to their minimum expression. In this way I will gradually affirm my personal characteristics
and this will greatly improve my self-esteem.
The main characteristics of those who practice forgiveness and self-affirmation are the
following:
1. They have made a complete examination of conscience in what they have failed to
do.
2. They recognize and accept their failures; they have a clear awareness of the
consequences of such failures.
3. They have experienced emotional pain and psychological suffering for everyone they
have affected.
4. They develop deep remorse for their failures and set out to make a total amendment.
5. They take the most sincere determination not to commit such faults again.
6. In all humility, they ask forgiveness from those they have affected.
7. If they are believers, they ask God for forgiveness.
8. They do a complete self-analysis to know their weaknesses and negative
inclinations.
9. They seek and discover the positive parts of their personality to counteract negative
tendencies.
10. They accept and forgive themselves, proposing a change of life towards the positive.
Humility, dignity and serenity

One of the most solid virtues of sobriety is the development of humility, that superior gift of
great men, of those who have transcended time and history; of those who have truly sown a
seed that has borne priceless fruit for later generations: Socrates, Buddha, Christ,
Confucius, St. Francis of Assisi, Ghandi, the Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa.... have been living
testimonies of the virtue of humility, and their humility led them to greatness and
transcendence.
Humility is the great antidote to self-centeredness, arrogance and omnipotence. Humility
leads to the development of dignity and serenity, the other two great virtues of this fifth
symptom of sobriety.
The main characteristics of the individual who practices humility, dignity and serenity are
the following:
1. He is very self-confident.
2. It does not need the approval of others.
3. He has reconciled with himself and with others.
4. He is austere and prudent in his way of living.
5. The possession of material goods is not a priority for him.
6. Practice tolerance.
7. It is prudent.
8. He speaks little. Preach by personal example.
9. It submits neither to injustice nor to abuse.
10. It does not prostitute itself to power or money.
11. Think before you act.
12. Speak with moderation. He does not shout or threaten.
13. Use reasonable and convincing arguments instead of unreasonable threats and
impositions.
14. He has faith in God, trust in others and self-confidence.
15. He is receptive without being passive; he is objective, accepting and patient.
Assertiveness
The chronically anxious person is afraid of living, that it is very difficult for him to exist, he is
afraid of what might happen in the future; he becomes a victim of his own fears and reacts
instead of acting. The great antidote to these fears is assertiveness.
Assertiveness implies self-confidence, having a well-defined life project, and the courage
and decision enough to fulfill the goals that such a life project implies.
The assertive individual is located in the present and not stuck in an uncertain future; he
knows what he wants, seeks it and fights for it until it is achieved. We must change the bad
habit of fear and anxiety for the good habit of assertiveness.
The main characteristics of the virtue of assertive people are as follows:
1. They say yes when they want to say yes and no when they want to say no.
2. They know how to set limits for others.
3. They do not manipulate or allow themselves to be manipulated.
4. They have the capacity to protest when they do not agree with something or
someone.
5. They know how to recognize when the other is right and they are wrong.
6. They demand that others treat them the way they want to be treated.
7. They have high aspirations.
8. They know what they deserve and, therefore, can achieve triumph and success.
9. They are always looking for success, but they know how to accept their defeats.
10. They fail efficiently (they know how to overcome failure).
11. They face problems, not avoid them.
12. They accept that a problem exists and confront it in order to solve it.
Action
Against depression, action. This is the axiom that preaches the antidote to depression.
Regardless of the medical aspects of the illness of depression, which involves accepting
the existence of a dual problem and seeking professional help (the same could be said of
the psychopathological aspects of distress), many depressed people throw themselves in
the hammock and opt for a depressive lifestyle. They feel they are victims, they love to play
the role of the sick, they are always complaining, and they retire from life because they
consider themselves emotionally handicapped. This is the dry drunk who plays at
depression and is a disguised way of evading life's challenges.
Therefore, against depression, action. The virtue of action is the constant movement that
will lead a person to personal satisfaction, triumph and transcendence.
The main characteristics of the assets are as follows:
1. They depend only on themselves, not on others.
2. They have a life plan: they know where they want to go.
3. They are constant: they apply the "little by little goes a long way".
4. They are consistent: they finish what they start.
5. They do one thing at a time.
6. They periodically evaluate their life plan and if there is any deviation, they correct it.
7. They are farsighted and thrifty.
8. They are persevering.
9. They practice self-criticism.
10. They have a plan of action for each day, always adhering to their life plan.
11. They are good listeners: they allow the advice and counsel of those who know best.
Transcendence in the relationship and inner harmony

Against sexual and sentimental ungovernability, transcendence in the relationship and inner
harmony.
Sexual and sentimental ungovernability is the consequence of a lack of harmony between
the inner self and the outer world, which results in superficiality and instability in
relationships and causes a domination of feelings over reason and the dictatorship of
sexual impulses over behavioral motivation.
When emotional maturity and spiritual growth are achieved, the search for transcendence in
relationships becomes a necessity. It is no longer the impulsive need to engage in a
sentimental relationship to meet certain neurotic needs or the irrepressible urge for sex that
only seeks to temporarily alleviate a primitive need.
When the individual matures, he/she wants to give meaning to his/her life, and then, when
relating to his/her partner, he/she looks for an integration and a complement to the life
project of both of them. That bond will be based on love and not on need. As a
consequence of love comes the enjoyment of sex, but understood not as a primary
motivator of the relationship, but as a logical consequence of a loving bond.
The fundamental characteristics of those who practice this eighth symptom of sobriety are
as follows:
1. They have stable and deep relationships with others.
2. They have developed the capacity to love.
3. They do not exploit or abuse others.
4. They practice loyalty and fidelity.
5. They are proud of their family and friends.
6. They are selective in choosing their friends.
7. They are proud of themselves.
8. They do not lose their equanimity for sex, power or money.
9. Their goals are more internal than external. They would rather Be than Have.
10. They are monogamous.
Self-knowledge and self-acceptance

In the denial of his alcoholic reality there is fear, as well as in everything related to that
reality and that the alcoholic does not want to face, so he prefers not to see, not to hear and
not to speak, as a preventive measure not to feel, a mechanism of evasion of reality for fear
of change.
The counterpart of the above is self-knowledge and self-acceptance. That is, the daring to
know oneself and to accept oneself as one is. When a person knows and accepts himself,
he has all the necessary elements and tools to be able to change, because change is the
essential condition of sobriety. Sobriety without change is inconceivable.
The fundamental characteristics of those who practice self-knowledge and self-acceptance
are the following:
1. They have elaborated an existential analysis of the main emotional events in their
lives.
2. They know where they come from and what their past was.
3. There are no enigmas or gaps in his life story.
4. Once they have met, they accept each other as they are, including defects,
limitations and qualities.
5. They also accept all the members of the family from which they come, including
defects and qualities.
6. They are not ashamed of their relatives, their social status, their race, or themselves.
7. They periodically take stock of their existential process and evaluate whether they
are achieving the goals they have set for themselves.
8. They accept their faults and qualities: they try to maximize their qualities and
minimize their faults.
Discipline and balance

The substitution of alcohol for another substance or addictive behavior is a disguise that
hides the purpose of not changing. You change superficially but deep down you remain the
same. Sometimes we jump from one extreme to the other or lack the discipline to achieve
real change.
For this reason, discipline and balance are the two virtues that oppose this character flaw.
Discipline is the constant and consistent work that is developed in a systematic way to
achieve a defined objective. The alcoholic is usually a person with a short career, that is to
say, he/she finds it difficult to finish what he/she starts, because he/she lacks a habit in the
practice of discipline.
On the other hand, the alcoholic is usually an extremist. That is why many of them give up
alcohol but fall into work or sex addiction. Others just switch from alcohol to other drugs but
without experiencing a real change.
Balance is the antithesis of extremism. The virtue of staying in the center of situations is a
habit that will help to bring about real change and not simply replace one pathological
behavior with another pathological behavior.
The main characteristics of the disciplined and balanced are the following:
1. They tend to seek the right middle ground in their decisions.
2. They avoid jumping from one end to the other when changing.
3. They know that triumph and failure are two imposters.
4. They avoid fanaticism or fundamentalism.
5. They are flexible; they know that every rule has its exception.
6. They do not confuse balance with mediocrity.
7. They avoid any form of exaggeration.
8. They make demands on themselves.
9. They do not put off until tomorrow what they can do today.
10. They have a plan of action for each day and respect their work schedule (they avoid
workaholism).
11. They go to bed early and get up early.
12. They practice the Sober Cross.
Lighting
Enlightenment is the virtue of those who manage to reach the spiritual dimension.
When your spirit is filled with an inner peace and you manage to acquire a strength that
makes you resist with equanimity and wisdom the onslaughts of life, then you have
acquired enlightenment.
To be enlightened is not to be a prophet or a saint or a sent one of the Lord, no. It is any
human being who has developed his spirituality to the point of acquiring a strength that
allows him to handle the problems of life with serenity, acceptance and tranquility.
Enlightenment is the ultimate virtue acquired through the recovery process. From physical
recovery to social recovery, then to mental and emotional recovery, and finally to spiritual
recovery.
Spiritual awakening leads the individual to conversion and conversion implies a radical
change of life. There are very famous converts in the history of humanity: St. Paul, St.
Augustine, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Ignatius of Loyola.... They radically changed their lives
thanks to a conversion process that led to a 180° change in their lives.
The recovering alcoholic who achieves this spiritual awakening, this conversion, will modify
his life in such a way that his possibilities of growth are maximum and those of relapse are
minimal.
The fundamental characteristics of those who have acquired enlightenment are as follows:
1. He has experienced spiritual needs.
2. Has regained or developed faith.
3. He believes in a higher power that transcends him.
4. He has developed the practice of prayer, reflection and meditation.
5. He has achieved a balance between his outer life and his inner life.
6. He has the capacity to abandon himself in situations that do not depend on him.
7. He has lost human respect and social conventions (he lives for himself and his own
convictions).
8. Practice sacrifice, self-discipline and deprivation of gratification as a form of spiritual
reinforcement.
9. He is neither a religious fanatic nor an activist for his dogmas. He respects the
convictions of others and tends towards spirituality rather than religiosity.
Solidarity and respect
Finally, inappropriate behavior in the AA group is the inability of the recovering alcoholic to
develop the virtues of solidarity and respect.
In order to get along with fellow AA members, it is necessary, first of all, to feel part of the
group, to feel like a member of the team, to be willing to cooperate, help and contribute
whatever the group needs so that it can achieve its objectives.
These characteristics correspond to the virtue of solidarity, which implies a great generosity
and detachment to give oneself to the group, to serve others, to fulfill the responsibility that
AA has given him and to fulfill, with joy and detachment, all these duties.
That is, the primary objective of attending an AA group is to give more than to receive. Of
course, the alcoholic also receives. I receive support, help, guidance, a platform for his
catharsis and, most importantly, unconditional support from the group to keep him from
drinking and in search of sobriety.
But many recovering alcoholics put getting before giving, and want to receive many things
from AA such as being able to do business, borrow, or satisfy their neurotic needs for
power and prestige. Those who seek to receive more than to give are dry drunks who will
inevitably adopt inappropriate behavior in their group because of their lack of solidarity.
Others, however, lack the virtue of respect. They do not respect their peers, the principles
of the group or themselves. They are selfish, bitter and angry and only take pleasure in
criticizing, gossiping, mocking or sabotaging their partner's catharsis. This is disrespectful
and will also irrevocably lead to inappropriate behavior in the group.
That is why it is important to change the negative habits of selfishness and bitterness for
those of respect and solidarity.
Those who develop these virtues possess the following characteristics:
1. They have a spirit of service and a vocation to help others.
2. They care and take responsibility for everything around them.
3. They find satisfaction and gratification in helping others.
4. They are selfless in their help to others: they do not seek money, prestige or power.
5. They do not flaunt helping others or the causes they serve (they do not seek
recognition).
6. They do not manipulate others in exchange for their help.
7. They do not obtain personal benefits (money, prestige, power or sex) in exchange
for helping others.
8. They have respect for the decisions of the person they want to help, even if they do
not agree with them.
9. They are not envious of the success of those they help.
10. They do not take over the lives of those they help, imposing on them what they
should or should not do.
11. They are capable of being moved by the feelings of others.
12. They do not mock or humiliate the relapsed person, but offer their hand to continue
helping him or her.
13. They do not make indiscreet comments or discover the anonymity of a colleague
outside the group.
We will end this chapter with the 13 recommendations that Benjamin Franklin suggested to
everyone to lead a peaceful, harmonious and productive life:
1. Temperance: Do not eat to satiety.
2. Silence: Speaking only for the benefit of oneself and others.
3. Resolution: Resolve as necessary. To undertake without delay what has been
proposed.
4. Frugality: Not wasting anything and avoiding unnecessary expenses.
5. Order: Everything in its place, every job in its time.
6. Work: Always do something useful and do not waste time.
7. Sincerity: Do not use deception and act in good faith.
8. Justice: Do no harm to anyone and be fair to all.
9. Moderation: Avoid extremes and do not act in anger.
10. Cleaning: Avoid interior and exterior dirt.
11. Calm: Do not get upset about silly things, accidents or problems.
12. Chastity: May pleasure be guided by love and not lead to the loss of peace.
13. Humility: Imitate the simplicity of Socrates and Jesus.
Glossary
Abstinence: It is the suspension in the consumption of any addictive substance or the
suspension of the practice of any addictive behavior.
Action: Exercise of the possibility of doing. Result of making. A set of activities that make it
possible to achieve a goal.
Addiction: Irrepressible impulse to consume a drug or perform a certain behavior that
produces intense anxiety, which can only be relieved either by consuming the drug or
by performing the behavior. This causes a brain adaptation that leads the person to
excessive and chronic consumption of the drug or behavioral performance, which
leads to serious health, family, school, work, social and legal problems. Addiction is a
chronic disease that if left untreated will lead to disability, loss of freedom or death.
Addictive: Addictive. Addict: A person who suffers from an addiction. Alcoholic: Addicted to
alcohol.
Alcoholism: Incurable, recurrent, progressive, insidious and fatal disease, characterized by
addiction to alcohol.
Hallucination: Subjective perception without an external stimulus that provokes it. Although
the most frequent are auditory and visual hallucinations, there may also be olfactory,
tactile and gustatory hallucinations.
Anergy: Absence or important decrease of energy.
Amphetamines: Central Nervous System stimulant drug. It produces severe addiction and
behavioral disorders. Chronic use can lead to insanity (amphetamine psychosis).
Anhedonia: Inability to enjoy things or feel pleasure.
Anxiety: Sensation of fear, apprehension or uneasiness arising from anticipating a danger
whose origin is unknown or not understood.
Assertiveness: Quality of a person characterized by his or her entrepreneurial spirit and for
achieving the goals he or she sets for him or herself. He gets others to treat him as he
wishes to be treated and does not accept impositions or manipulations. He says yes
when he wants to say yes and no when he wants to say no.
Self-devaluation: Psychological condition very typical of neurosis that consists of giving
oneself very little value, feeling less than others and undeserving of the good things in
life.
Caffeine: Stimulant substance found in coffee, tea and cola. It is probably the most popular
drug in the world.
Cyclical: Evolving or occurring periodically.
Cocaine: Stimulant drug obtained from the chemical processing of coca leaves. It is
addictive and produces very severe addiction. It is consumed in three different forms:
inhaled through the nose, smoked (crack, stone) or injected into the vein.
It causes insanity or death due to hypertension, thrombosis or heart claudication.
Codependency: Neurotic dependence on another person. A form of pathological
attachment to certain people with whom there is an emotional involvement. In
alcoholism and drug addiction, codependency of certain relatives of alcoholics or drug
addicts (wives, mothers, siblings, children) is very frequent.
Crystal: Designer drug that belongs to the group of meta-amphetamines. It is addictive and
stimulating. It produces severe behavioral disorders and insanity.
Guilt: Permanent feeling of psychological discomfort caused by a subjective perception of
having committed something wrong. In neurosis, the subjective perception of guilt is
usually disproportionate or extremely rigid, leading the individual not to forgive himself
and to unconsciously seek different forms of self-punishment.
Sentimental blackmail: A way of manipulating people to pressure them and make them feel
guilty if they do not solve the problem or do not give you what you want.
Delirium: A symptom of insanity that frequently occurs among alcohol and drug addicts. It is
characterized by a false belief that persists despite rational explanations and contrary
evidence. Persecution delirium is the most frequent form of this phenomenon.
Depression: A psychiatric illness that addicts may suffer from and is characterized by lack
of energy, lack of motivation to live, inability to enjoy the pleasant things in life, a deep
sense of sadness and a desire to die, sometimes resulting in attempted or completed
suicide.
Dignity: Quality of sobriety that allows the individual to recognize, accept and appreciate his
or her own values and abilities. It is the respect and fidelity to their scale of values and
their life project. It is loyalty to their own convictions. It is to be proud of oneself, to
have good self-esteem and to act in function of oneself and not in function of others.
Dyspnea: Sensation of shortness of breath that forces the person to breathe faster and
harder (hyperventilation). Typical symptom of distress.
Duality, dual: Presence of two different diseases in the same person.
Egocentrism: Neurotic need to always be the center of attraction. A distorted and inflated
self-perception of oneself. Egocentrics feel superior to others and believe they have
the answer to everything. Egocentrism is an artificial grandiosity that often masks an
inferiority complex.
Endogenous: occurring within the body, without any stimulus from outside (e.g.,
endogenous depression).
Balance: Ability to distinguish between what is reasonable, what is immoderate and what is
unacceptable, using reasonably the five senses, time, money and effort, according to
right and true criteria, and with prudent and moderate actions.
Exogenous: Occurring as a consequence of an external stimulus that affects organic
functioning (for example: exogenous depression).
Atonement: Ritual act of purification to wash away the faults committed. The neurotic need
for atonement is a pathological drive to punish oneself by permanently sabotaging
one's success, as a form of penance to wash away one's guilt.
Ecstasy: Designer drug commonly called tacha. It is addictive and has a stimulating effect.
It produces behavioral disorders, brain damage and insanity.
Compensatory fantasies: Lies or stories that the dishonest person fabricates to give a false
and different image of him/herself, because he/she considers him/herself very self-
conscious and little.
Fidelity: Virtue characterized by the voluntary acceptance, with total conviction, of the
bonds implicit in their adhesion to others - friends, partners, bosses, family,
institutions, homeland - in such a way as to reinforce and protect, over time, the set of
values they represent.
Phobia: Repulsion or distressing fear of certain objects or situations. There are two types of
phobias: specific phobia, when it is towards some specific object (elevators, heights,
animals, airplanes, etc.) and social phobia, when there is repulsion to be among
people, attend meetings or have to speak in public).
Generosity: Inclination or propensity of the spirit to act unselfishly in favor of other people.
Honesty: Virtue of sobriety, characterized by congruence between what is thought, what is
said and what is done. Honesty also encompasses sincerity and honesty.
Honesty: Uprightness of mind, integrity in acting. Transparency in accountability. It is a
characteristic of honesty.
Hostility: Attitude of psychological aggression towards one or more persons.
Humility: Virtue characterized by the recognition of one's own inadequacies, qualities and
capacities, taking advantage of them to act well, without calling attention to oneself or
requiring the applause of others.
Unconscious: Psychological fact that escapes the knowledge of the subject in whom it
occurs.
Inconstancy: Inability to finish what has been started.
Inconsistency: Absence in the continuity of effort to achieve a goal. Lack of decision,
stability and solidity to achieve what the person set out to do. Infantilism (emotional):
Persistence in the adult of an infantile or adolescent mentality.
Inhalants: Psychoactive drug that is administered through the respiratory tract (inhalation).
The most common are thinner, cement, gasoline and acetone. They produce serious
brain damage. Street children and adolescents are the biggest consumers of these
substances.
Enlightenment: Spiritual state reached by the individual, which allows him to harmonize his
inner life with the usual pressures of his existence and to remain immersed in a state
of peace, every moment of his life.
Immaturity: Lack of emotional growth.
Intolerance to frustration: Inability to accept when things do not go well. Intolerant people
want the satisfier at that moment, they get excited, attack and look for culprits when
they don't get something they want.
Irresponsibility: Characteristic of a person who adopts important decisions without due
meditation. Act resulting from a lack of foresight or reflection.
Freedom: Fundamental characteristic of those who reach emotional maturity. Free means
having the capacity to decide for oneself, to choose responsibly what the person
considers best for him/her. To be free of dependencies and be productive. Freedom is
one of the pillars of sobriety in the recovered alcoholic. Do not confuse freedom with
libertinism. In freedom, responsibility applies, in debauchery, irresponsibility.
LSD: Lysergic acid diethylamide. Synthetic drug that produces hallucinations and mystical
delusions, commonly called acid.
Marijuana: Addictive, neurotoxic and illegal drug obtained from a hemp called cannabis
sativa. It produces brain damage manifested by a failure in intellectual functions and a
great lack of motivation. It is addictive and its chronic use causes psychosis
(schizophrenia-like insanity).
Manipulation: Using and managing people to get what you want.
Fear: Fear of something known (a problem, a person, an exam). It differs from anguish
because the cause of the threat is not known).
Handicap: See self-assessment.
Misogynist: Man who hates, assaults and controls women, but cannot live without them.
Pathological form of codependency.
Narcissism: See egocentrism.
Negation: Action and effect of denying. To say that something does not exist, is not true or
is not as someone believes or claims. Failure to recognize or accept something. Not
admitting its existence. Hide. Disguise.
Neurosis: A state of emotional maladjustment that causes psychological discomfort,
dissatisfaction with oneself and problems with others. The general cause of neurosis
is anguish.
Brain neurotransmitters: Substances produced in the brain that determine the transmission
of nerve impulses. As a consequence of the alteration in the concentration of these
substances, various diseases such as depression, anguish, alcoholism or addiction to
other drugs occur. The main neurotransmitters are serotonin, adrenaline, ' dopamine
and endorphins.
Nicotine: Toxic substance responsible for tobacco addiction.
Omnipotence: Pride taken to a pathological dimension. The arrogant feel superior to others,
owners of the truth, arrogant, they impose their ideas and the way they should solve
their lives on others.
Opiates: Opium derivatives obtained from the poppy. They have the property of
suppressing pain, producing euphoria with pleasant drowsiness and developing
severe addiction. The main opiates are morphine, heroin and their synthetic
derivatives.
Pride: An individual's overestimation of his virtues and qualities (real or supposed), which
leads to an attitude of arrogance, haughtiness and contemptuous hostility.
Panic (panic attack): Anxiety disorder characterized by a loss of self-control and an
impending sense of general collapse of health with fear of unconsciousness or death.
It is a psychiatric disorder that warrants specialized care.
Passivity: Characteristic of a person who lets others act, without doing anything himself. He
allows others to decide for him or solve his problems.
Perfectionism: Tendency to improve indefinitely a work without deciding to consider it
finished. It is a rigid and obsessive attitude of the one who wants everything right.
Projection: Psychological defense mechanism by means of which the individual frees
himself from certain painful or intolerable affective situations, displacing his own
feelings to other people.
Rationalization: Construction of a false explanation for certain realities that the person does
not want to accept and that seeks to justify inappropriate behavior (pretexts).
Recurrent: That evolves by relapses. Addiction, distress and depression often recur.
Resentment: Psychological discomfort characterized by the permanence of a feeling of
resentment and hatred towards someone who allegedly committed an offense,
aggression or dispossession.
Responsibility: Quality of a person who pays care and attention to what he/she does or
decides. He who is responsible, assumes the consequences of his actions, cares for
himself and others, is accustomed to be accountable, abides by the laws and is
committed to his duty.
Respect: Regard, consideration, deference towards others or towards something.
Consideration of one's own dignity and personal self-worth.
Sincerity: Characteristic of honesty in which one manifests, if it is convenient, to the right
person and at the right time, what one has done, what one has seen, what one thinks
and what one feels, with clarity regarding one's personal situation or that of others.
Syndrome: Set of symptoms that make up a disease.
Reward Deficit Syndrome: Theory developed by some researchers of the brain and genetic
causes of addictions, which postulates the hypothesis that certain addictive disorders
such as alcoholism, addiction to certain drugs, gambling addiction and compulsive
eating (among others), have a common genetic and neurochemical denominator. That
is the explanation for why many alcoholics switch from alcohol to other drugs or
compulsive behaviors.
Pride: haughtiness and disordered appetite to be preferred to others. Satisfaction and
conceit in the contemplation of one's own garments with contempt for others.
Sobriety: Ideal state of a recovering addict. It implies having stopped consuming alcohol
and other drugs and having achieved emotional growth.
Superficiality: Characteristic of a frivolous person, or whose judgment has no solidity or
substance because only what is above is appreciated and judged, without reaching
the depth or essence of things.
Tension: See anguish.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD): Psychiatric disease, derived from anguish and
characterized by the development of various obsessions, which generate great
anguish and force the person to develop a compulsive ritual to calm such anguish.
For example, a person who has an obsession with cleanliness and the fear of
contracting infections every time he or she uses contaminated objects', this obsession
forces the person into the compulsive ritual of washing his or her hands many times a
day, to calm the anguish of not becoming infected.
Post-traumatic stress disorder: A psychiatric illness derived from distress that occurs in
individuals who have suffered a violent trauma (e.g., an assault, kidnapping or serious
accident), with the same intense fear and distress that provoked the traumatic event
recurring periodically thereafter. Requires professional attention.
Shame: Feeling of self-reproval and self-contempt derived from guilt, which leads to lower
self-esteem and a feeling of rejection and non-acceptance by others.
Printing and binding
Martínez Sánchez Impresores
Yacatas, 515, Col. Vértiz Narvarte,
Mexico City.

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The Syndrome of the

Dry Drunk Syndrome

Lic. José M. Empty Castrejón

"With money and without

One of the main characteristics of the psychological profile of alcoholics is emotional

1. Infantilism. 10. Superficiality.

From deception to self-deception

Some questions that will help me to know if I am being honest

What affects my resentment?

I need the approval of others

From the vicious circle to the virtuous circle

Forgiveness and self-forgiveness

The law of all or nothing: the extremist

From egocentrism to perfectionism

Pride, arrogance and omnipotence

It can be read in the Twelve and Twelve (p. 51):

Dignity, self-respect and moral authority

The vicious circle of the addict

The persistence of fears

Endogenous depression and reactive depression

The triple A of depression

Main signs of depression

"You abandoned me woman, because I am very poor/and because I have the

I have three vices and I have them very deeply rooted:

The woman mother and the woman sex

1. Voyeurism: obtaining sexual pleasure through sight.

The codependent addict

Are you a misogynist?

Acceptance of alcoholism is useless if the non-alcoholic reality continues to be denied:

I can't see, I can't hear and I can't speak

The unconscious or the submerged portion of the iceberg

The addictive head of the dragon

Reward Deficit Reward Syndrome

Substitute drugs: hard and soft drugs

Smoking a pack a day increases the risk of:

Existential emptiness and the absence of spirituality

The therapeutic value of spirituality

The psychological profile of the poor in spirit

As a form of ungovernability, many alcoholics and addicts, although they achieve

Negative attitudes in the group

Inappropriate behavior in professional treatment

What kind of alcoholic am I?

The exercise of sobriety

Freedom, responsibility and productivity

Generosity and reconciliation

Forgiveness and self-affirmation

Humility, dignity and serenity

Transcendence in the relationship and inner harmony

Self-knowledge and self-acceptance

Discipline and balance

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