BEAM

THE OCCASIONAL UNOFFICIAL JOURNAL OF THE UNUSUAL SUSPECTS

ISSUE #17 : OCTOBER 2022

May Tucker’s Ghost be Smiling Upon Us

SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT

ULRIKA O’BRIEN

It’s funny how a word might save your life, and I’m saying a lot right now.
– Rob Thomas, “Can’t Help Me Now”
“My voice There’s a plausible hypothesis about human speech that the
suddenly got evolutionary purpose of gossip, or more broadly, conversation, is much
lower has it? the same as that of picking nits in other primates. It’s a troupe bonding
mechanism: a way of giving attention, sharing mutual support, friendly
Maybe my
warmth, and even love, with each other, and thus building our mutual
knickers are too closeness, trust, and esteem. Both nitpicking and conversation support
tight.” the health of the participants. In the case of picking nits, it’s physical
health: eliminating parasites and the diseases they carry. In the case of
conversation, it’s mental and emotional health, which, while not always
recognized as such, are just as important to a healthy individual.
Conversation is a critical means for human beings to feel connected.
It’s how we understand that we belong to our friends, our family, our
tribe. It’s how we know we are seen, liked, loved, and valued.

This issue of BEAM is edited by Nic Farey and Ulrika O’Brien.

2657 Rungsted St, Las Vegas, NV 89142, USA, email : [email protected]

418 Hazel Avenue N., Kent, WA 98030, USA, email : [email protected]

But conversation is a far more powerful with only the shared topics of conversation to
adaptation than cleaning insects out of each keep us talking to each other. It’s not enough.
other’s pelts. It has a vastly broader reach. It Another term for the open channel is agora: a
works not just one-to-one, but one- or many- public gathering place. People first need a
to-many. And conversation can leverage so place to gather, in order to talk to each other.
many time- and distance-spanning In the ancient Greek city states, the agora was
communication technologies. We can have the open park or plaza where citizens gathered
conversations via the written word (Look! to listen to public talks, hang out, socialize, and
You’re soaking in it!) across the decades and to conduct democracy, and business. In
around the globe. We converse by telephone, Athens, the agora was a highly sacred place,
SMS, video chat, Zoom, podcast, YouTube, situated just below the slope of the Acropolis,
and all the social media platforms of the surrounded by temples, and centered around
internet. That broader reach means any one the sacred Panathenic Way. As with many
individual can make human connections with ideas we get from the Ancient Greeks, I think
many, many people all at once. We can speak there’s something very right about holding
to an audience of dozens, hundreds, even sacred the places where we meet together to
thousands of others at one go. Often, they can conduct public life.
speak back to us. (But, “Don’t read the
In the modern world, that place can be
comments!”) Far-reaching conversation is an
physical or virtual, in person or remote, on
amazing tool for growing and supporting the
paper or pixels, but always, ideally in some
health not just of the individual, but of the
sense a public space, where anyone can
troupe, the community, the nation, even the
wander in and, so long as they obey the rules
world. Conversation unites us.
of the commons, participate. The best places
Which is why it’s a terrible, terrible thing when are biggish and reasonably open, so people can
we break it. Right now fandom, mirroring the come at their convenience, listen for a while,
nation and wider world, is busy breaking its find a conversation that interests them, and
ability to converse with itself. Nothing good then drop into it and add their mite to the
can come of this project. ongoing discussion. As we all know, fanzines
As I see it, conversation needs three things to have been one such public place, but they have
flourish: an open channel, a protocol for how long been in decline as a share of total
to engage, and a (series of) topic(s) of conversation. Usenet was, for a moment, an
discussion. Oh, yeah, and it requires an excellent agora, but the social disruptions post
obvious fourth condition: conversation 9/11 and the expansion and widespread use of
requires others to converse with. We’ve the web undermined its collective usefulness.
permitted a lot of damage to the first to simply We all went elsewhere, off into our own social
accrue in the name of corporate capitalism silos and political echo chambers. What we’re
and the unfettered free market, and too many left with these days are places like Facebook,
of us are now openly attacking the second and Twitter, and other social media, all of which
the fourth pillars of conversation, mostly in the are very much subject to the forces of
pursuit of such high-minded, well-intentioned, commercial profitability and the current craze
and worthy-seeming goals as those claiming to for preemptive censorship. That limits the
be “justice,” “equity,” and most ironically, possibilities for genuinely free conversation
“inclusion.” Which, if this goes on, leaves us along multiple dimensions, not least of which

3
is the question of whether you’ll ever even see if the potential consequence of such an
a given component of the conversation hit utterance is being put out on an ice floe to die
your feed, or whether it will be hidden from alone. Every time we cancel someone, the
you either by overt censorship for your own spiral of silence expands. Conversation, real
supposed good, or the ad-hit maximizing discussion, cannot happen inside a spiral of
whims of “the algorithm.” silence. The loss is immeasurable.
As if the decline of viable focal point meeting In this we are not very different from society at
places weren’t sufficient harm, fandom is, as a large, and at both the macro- and the micro-
tribe, even within a given agora, breaking its levels, breaking down discourse is a dangerous,
ability to converse with itself. We deeply stupid thing to do. If we cast out or
anathematize people for their utterances, their silence dissident voices we are breaking our
beliefs, or even, worst of all, the caricatures of own ability to understand not just them, but
their beliefs that their detractors stigmatize the world. As I’ve said before, we are all
them with. We ban people from conventions wrong about something; if we won’t hear
for acts of speech, exclude them from clubs perspectives we disagree with, we may never
and meetings based on the color of their skin, learn just where and how we are wrong. We
we block them on Facebook and Twitter, and discuss to discover. If we don’t discuss,
to what should be our everlasting shame, we discovery recedes.
fucking disinvite honored guests from the But it is so much worse that we are doing it in
conventions that invited them in the first place, fandom – doing it to fandom – because fans,
because of things they said elsewhere or even we of all people, ought to know better.
simply because of things others said in their Conversation is what made us. It is why we
domain of influence. We cut fans out of our are here, why fandom exists in the first place.
conversations toute court for wrongthink. And in Deep in the letter columns of pulp science
so doing, not only do we cut ourselves off from
them and their
ideas and the
possibility of
changing their
minds, or maybe
even ours, but we
also silence those
who witness all
this banning and
shunning and
blocking and
casting out.
Nobody in their
right mind who
values community
and having friends
is going to utter a
heterodox opinion

4
fiction prozines, fandom started as an and accelerate all sorts of other mortal events.
epistolary conversation, enthusiasts sharing You have only to look at the meteoric increase
their enthusiasm with each other out of the in deaths of despair during the pandemic
sheer joy of finding each other and finding a lockdown to get a sense of how hard loneliness
love in common. The prozines gave fans hits people. Or look at our modern, chronic,
something to talk about as well as a way to find and growing social wounds of depression and
each other. And talk they did. At length and drug addiction: these are symptoms of a
with great brio. And those first letter society that has lost meaningful connection
exchanges, our initial conversation, broadened with itself, and are the precursors to those
and deepened and found new forums and new deaths of despair. As Johann Hari points out,
media of transmission (direct correspondence, moderns are collectively the loneliest people
fanzines, APAs, even clubs and conventions ever to inhabit the planet. A regular
and gatherings in pubs and cafeterias) and longitudinal study that asks people how many
became a dizzying, pell-mell galaxy of friends they have that they could rely on in a
conversations, far too vast for any one person crisis finds over the last five decades or so the
to follow or even see the full scope of. modal answer has declined from five, to one, to
Conversation created fandom. now, most often zero. Zero friends that the
This epic conversation has continued through average person could count on in a crisis:
all its decades, expanding and evolving and nobody. But fandom has been, for me at least,
leaving traces in the pages of fanzines and the and many of you, I suspect, a place where the
ephemeral ether of the internet, along the way kinds of friendships that will shine in a crisis
creating a culture and a community, and still flourish. I still have five friends I can count
untold friendships and so much love. Fandom on in a crisis. I have more. And I know it,
in some sense is that conversation: Fandom is because they have come through for me in the
the self-conscious entity that talks with itself past. Not all of those friendships are because
about itself, and oh, yes, occasionally about of fandom, but most are. That is unspeakably
science fiction, too. Conversation is our origin precious. Don’t break it.
story. It is what and who we are. Killing the To me, holding on to, not just permitting but
ability to converse is literally an existential encouraging dissenting and unorthodox
threat to fandom. perspectives is an obvious necessity for the
But even if it weren’t terrible enough that intellectual health and growth of any
killing conversation kills fandom, there’s worse. community of thinkers. But here’s another
Killing conversation has the potential to kill way to look at it: there’s a term for a group
you, too. Literally. Fandom, the community it that seeks to exclude all speech and thought
is, and the friendships that underlie that that deviates from the group’s accepted norms
community, is one of the rare bulwarks against and beliefs. A term for those who seek
that most modern of human diseases: social external contact only to feel rejected and to
isolation and loneliness. Loneliness kills. reinforce the friendly warmth of returning to
Acute loneliness will release as much cortisol in right-thinking in-group purity. That term is
your bloodstream as getting punched in the “cult.” Let’s don’t become a cult.
face. Sustained high levels of cortisol are
toxic; they will trash your cardiovascular
system, increase risk of heart attack, or stroke,

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 UNUSUALLY IN THIS ISSUE...
Not so unusually these days, since he’s everywhere, but
always a definite pleasure to get ALAN WHITE on the
front end.
COVER

With a piece first published in BSFA’s Focus writers’

magazine in 2008, DEV ARGAWAL finds an unusual
interpretation of Dramatic Truth.

PAGE 8

Apparently not unusually for New Zealand’s North Island, a

well-medicated (whiskey and lemon) LEE WOOD avers that
Winter Sucks.
PAGE 10

With what is perhaps an unusual fanhistorical viewpoint,

JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH considers numbered fandoms, TAFF,
and posits an entirely new theory, advocating Renewing the
Past, Reshaping the Future.
PAGE 15

We’re unusually pleased to have been granted the first-

published segment of “ORANGE” MIKE LOWREY’s
TAFF trip report, in which he plans to become A Visible
Fan Abroad but is initially thwarted.
PAGE 24

We’ve rather parochially, perhaps, defined an unusual

convention location as one neither in North America or
Great Britain. YLVA SPÅNGBERG provides a
Scandinavian vignette, To Åcon, With Love.
PAGE 27

BSc(Econ) NIC FAREY considers economic systems in sf,

and wonders how starships get built, asking simply that
someone should Show Me the Money.
PAGE 28

ULRIKA O’BRIEN ponders the potentially unusual burden

and decidedly mixed blessing of having... Tits.
PAGE 31

6
UNUSUALLY IN THIS ISSUE...
THE READERSHIP : Suscipe Verbum. Edited by Ulrika.

LOCS : PAGE 36

ON OTHER PAGES...
Uncredited text by Nic Farey and/or Ulrika O’Brien.. Editorial song title
by Bonnie Raitt.
BACOVER: Photography by Morgan Fisher, who writes: “My favourite
card in Brian Eno’s Oblique Strategies (1975) is the one that reads: “Honour thy
mistake as hidden intention.” About 25 years ago I spent Christmas on Maui
and decided to take photos (at night) of the spectacular illuminations on the
outside of many houses there. I had no tripod so I shot hand-held, and my
camera automatically selected a very slow shutter speed. Next day when I saw
the prints (this was film) I noticed with dismay that they were all blurred, as I
hadn’t held the camera steady enough. In the bin they all went. An hour later I
decided to give them a second look, and this time I noticed how interesting the
light trails were on some of the shots, so that night I decided to purposely move
the camera while shooting. Thus started an ongoing passion which still fascinates
me. I called it “light painting” - but it is the opposite of the recent popular technique where people “paint” with
flashlights, LEDS, etc., in front of a static camera. For me the camera is the brush, the sensor is the canvas and
literally any light, natural or man-made, can be my paint. In this image it was a special plasma lamp I acquired
(like lightning shimmering in a bottle) with a blue wash behind it as I turned the camera in circles. No CGI - this is
how it came out of the camera. Try it - you’ll like it!”
morganfisherart.com

Art: Eddie Jones : ‘Ringworld’ cover art (p28); Jay Kinney : BEAM label logo (p2); Julie Faith
McMurray : (pp38, 40, 43, 45, 48)
Photography: Tia Haygood : Morgan Fisher (p7) ; Lee Wood : various creatures (pp10-12)
Other photographs/illos, predictably nicked off the internet, selfies or unknown credit. Or FBF profile pics.

THE UNUSUAL SUSPECTS...

...is the name devised to describe the late-night fangatherings, surprisingly often in the environs of N Farey, which are mostly laid-back
affairs, tending to involve the consumption of Jim Beam and other fine liquors, and a whole lot of bullshit amenable conversation on
whatever topic might arise.

If you think you might be or might have been an Unusual Suspect at any point in time, then you probably are.

Wherever two or more may be gathered in the spirit of Tucker, we encourage you to raise a glass to the Suspects’ Toast: “Absent Friends”.

"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"

7
DRAMATIC TRUTH
D E V A RG AWA L

Imagine this scene: done. Your guys are in the background playing
It’s 1993. You’re a twenty one year old man, a with the football, laughing, yelling, goofing off, as
hothead. You’ve argued with your family, ended instructed.
your first relationship. You’re angry and confused. The colonel, you reflect, is a very senior rank.
So you join the US Marine Corps. Unless you're on parade, you never even see a
general. Now here you are about to have a
You find what you wanted: order, discipline,
conversation with a colonel. He is basically, as
routine. Your hard work is rewarded and you
Steve points out, a general-in-the-field.
make corporal after two years. Now you begin to
play the army like a system. What once appealed The colonel is looking at you. Expectant. “And
is now tedious. You yearn for days off, for the what about you, corporal? What are your men
discipline to ease up. doing?”
One morning, your men are out in two squads. With nothing to lose, you explain your thinking.
You’ve got one; your friend Steve Weddle is in You recount your men’s experience, the reality of
charge of the other. You’re dropped at the base of current world conflict and the chances for another
a hill and given a mission. Hike to the top, set up war after such a convincing result in the Gulf.
a perimeter and defend it. But the feeling that The colonel nods, apparently understanding.
you’re pretending and it's pointless is relentless. Feeling more confident you explain more.
Congratulations, this is your first existential crisis No one will even know when you come down off
at the age of twenty three. the hill. So if no one knows, what is the point in
At the top of the hill, you get out a football and doing it? The whole squad can do this exercise in
invite your squad to start playing. They follow their sleep, what does one less repetition count?
orders and you just gave them one. Steve’s squad The colonel nods again and looks at Steve.
is busy setting up a perimeter and marching “Thank you, sergeant.” He’s readying to leave.
around it with their empty machine guns. To you, To you he says, “Thank you, private.”
it’s glaringly obvious that they’re pretending. Reflexively, you correct him. “Corporal, sir.”
Meanwhile, the earth hasn’t opened up, the world The colonel leans in and shakes his head at you.
didn’t end because you let your men blow off “No, son. Private.”
steam instead of marching in circles.
In an instant, two stripes, two years of work
But here comes someone. And it must be dissolves in front of you...
someone as they’re in a helicopter. Senior
This was not your story (obviously). I recount it
management. Who else flies at random in a
here by way of discussing character and character
military helicopter? They land and out comes a
sketches.
colonel. Like most colonels he’s past middle age,
with an iron crew cut and silver moustache. He’s There are many traps to avoid in writing.
old enough to have come through the Vietnam Repetition, laziness and superficiality are the more
War. He walks over, a slender rack of a man, obvious ones. How to distinguish between
ramrod straight. characters, to make them distinct is perhaps a
He smiles amiably to you and Steve. Steve, the subtler challenge. Drawing on real experience
sergeant, explains the mission and what they’ve and things you know to be true is an asset. In this
case, I don’t know any of the details I’ve just

8
 D E V A RG AWA L

described. But I know what I was doing when I he was training to be a social worker. He’d learned
heard this story and who I heard it from. I heard it responsibility in the military and wanted to get out
more than once and I then recounted it to other of its relentless macho culture.
people -- one of the reasons that it stays fresh in In April, I saw Geoff for the first time in a few
my mind. years. Over taco soup in a Mexican restaurant, I
Over time, I’ve embellished it. Steve Weddle must mentioned his friend who’d been in the marines
have told me the hapless corporal's name but I and was training as a social worker.
doubt he described the colonel’s moustache and He paused and said, “Steve Weddle”. Then he
posture. I’m fairly certain that I remember Steve’s laughed.
exact words -- “No, son, private” -- delivered like a
Geoff told me that Steve never became a social
punchline.
worker. “And he wasn’t in the marines either.”
I’ve used it as the guts of this article, taking
Steve Weddle was a compulsive liar.
advantage of the events as they present themselves
to me to create characters for the people involved. After I’d stopped choking on my soup, Geoff told
Stories like this surround us. Vivid details cross me a series of anecdotes that convinced both him
our lives constantly. The trick is to be receptive to and me that Steve was lying. What impressed me
them. If we’re listening, we have the raw material was Steve’s mental alertness, his ability to keep his
to turn them into characters that tell the stories we story straight each time I saw him.
want. A normal reaction might be annoyance, but I was
Everyone has a clear idea who Winston Smith is. intrigued. Steve’s stories resonate with a new
No one would confuse him with Tolkein's Samwell dimension now that I knew he made them up. For
Tarly or China Mieville’s Isaac Dan der me, that added another layer of character. In this
Grimnebulin. The voice of the character is case, Steve personifies Dr Johnson’s adage that,
imbued in the details, which come from the care “Every man thinks meanly of himself for not
that the writers take in developing their having been a soldier.” Steve is now a ready-made
personalities. They feel true to us, because they character, filled with such conflict and self doubt
are wholly realised. And their truth is based, that he invents his own past, complete with
oddly enough, on the lies that the writer tells. fictional anecdotes about other people.
Writing fiction is lying. By exaggerating, by So I might dedicate this article to Steve Weddle. It
manipulating details to fit a wider story, writers wouldn’t have been possible without him and his
seek to illuminate character for the reader. These invention. You may pity him his lying and his
lies are told for entertainment, but also to reveal desire for self-aggrandisement. But if you made it
truth -- not actual, provable historic truth, but the this far, you kept reading, that’s thanks to Steve.
more dangerous concept of dramatic truth. As a character he comes right off the page.
I heard this story many years ago in Santa Cruz, Finally, in keeping with his fantasy past, Steve
California, when my friend Geoff introduced me Weddle is not, of course, his real name.
to Steve. This was a funny story that Steve
recounted. There was, according to him, even
more confusion and chaos in his life. Being a
sergeant had really straightened him out.
Steve was perhaps an archetypal American, blond,
strong, easy going. He had a past, he had a future:

9
WINTER SUCKS
LEE WOOD

Winter sucks. slippery muddy bog. They’re moulting – which

Not those nice saccharine-crystal white Hallmark chickens tend to do when the weather is at its
movie winters, where pretty divorcees with two coldest and wettest because chickens be stoopid,
troublesome teenagers meet the local handsome and for the most part they’ve stopped laying eggs,
ski lodge architect / sports doctor / skiing which is a good thing – they need to recharge
instructor / budding snowboard mogul / strudel their egg laying batteries for spring. Also time to
and hot toddy ski lodge chef / curmudgeonly grow in new feathers.
bestselling author with writer’s block hiding out That hasn’t, however, stopped two of the hens
anonymously at – you got it – a ski lodge, and all from managing to hide a clutch of eggs from me.
problems are solved over hot cocoa, power First, it was a little black hen I hadn’t noticed
outages, roaring fires and snow…. and lots of taking up residence in a flower planter, cleverly
pretty white sparkling snow. Oh, and if it isn’t a hidden by – well, okay, I admit it – mostly weeds
ski lodge, it’s a charming New England colonial I never got around to pulling out. I’d caught her
farmhouse with a big red barn left to said pretty first batch and destroyed them before they were
divorcee by an eccentric aunt. And horses. And too far along, but she got sneakier and with
dogs. Because, Hallmark. Cyclone Dovi making the weather even more
No, we don’t have those sorts of winters in sucky than usual, I wasn’t outside all that often
Taranaki. Once in a blue moon, we might get a looking for hidey-hens. By the end of February, I
dusting of snow that turns everything magical for had eight little chickadoodles. (For those of you
about 20 minutes before it all melts away into who are in the northern hemisphere, that would
muddy slush, but winters in Taranaki are wet, be equal to around the end of August, mid-
bitterly cold, and windy with a conspicuous autumn – and no, Taranaki autumns don’t come
dearth of architects, chefs and in Hallmark colours, either.)
good-looking if curmudgeonly Luckily, a colleague wanted them for
bestselling writers. And doctors. her son’s eighth birthday – eight
All of New Zealand has an chickadoodles being his best present
acute lack of GPs right now, so if ever, apparently – and I sold the lot
you’re looking for somewhere to for $50. Little Black Hen and
escape, we would welcome you chickadoodles went off to a new
with open muddy arms. We home, and I breathed a sigh of
don’t care if you’re handsome or relief…
not. … until Big Barred Rock Hen
Winter sucks for people, but it managed to hide her clutch of eggs
really sucks for animals, and for in the back of a tumbledown
me that means chickens and woodshed, and I had no inkling she
ducks. The cats have plenty of was even there until I passed by and
access to warm beds, the goats heard the distinctive sound of cheep
have shelters and winter coats. cheep cheep cheep cheep. Goddammit.
But the chickens have turned a It took some clearing out and
significant portion of the fenced clambering over timber to reach her,
off part of my land into a one baby had been squished (she’s a

10
 LEE WOOD

BIG hen!), one dead in the shell, cold and paddle in the pond, naps in the grass, and by
stinking, and seven more had hatched with two sunset, she’d waddle back with babies in tow. If I
eggs left to go. She’s obviously not the only was home, I kept an eye out and stood on the
mama who contributed to the nest, so the chicks road while she crossed, but drivers in Stratford
were a range of sizes and colours from white to seem a bit more kindhearted than elsewhere (also
gold to grey to black – and at least two of the more on that later…)
black had a tell-tale white spot on the head that Once she knew they knew where to come for
sex-link them as Barred Rock; Roger has finally meals… by Boxing Day, Mama Moonfoot had
gotten his own in, with Randy being the obvious vanished. Ordinarily, Mamas stay with their
father to the rest. babies for 50 to 60 days, long enough for them to
I didn’t want any more chickens, especially this be able to fly and fend for themselves. This lot
late in the year – end of March (beginning of was still too young to be left to their own devices.
October Northern hemisphere type weather). No Mama Moonfoot smooshed on the road, and
She and her surviving chickadoodles were while the new dog next door is definitely a bird
promptly evicted from the woodshed and put into killing machine, no feathers in the paddocks
the chickadoodle nursery in the main coop. The either. She’s still young and inexperienced and
other coop is currently home to five bachelor maybe she’d decided hey, I've convinced some
roosters awaiting the chop. They’ve been in sucker to feed this lot, they'll be fine, I'm off.
there awhile, fattening up. (I made a bad mistake Maybe she’ll be back next year with a new batch
and named them as chicks – NEVER NAME of cute fluffies.
YOUR FOOD!) I took the two remaining eggs Every morning, babies would
and popped them into my tiny show up for breakfast, and
emergency egg incubator. One learned to climb the stairs to the
hatched. The other, when I back deck, look in the door and
candled it, was murky and dark scream at me if they saw me –
and, sure enough, when I or the cat, for some reason, who
cracked it open it was stinking was not amused – to come feed
and rotten. I called the little them. I’m only glad they never
chick Lucky Number Eight. figured out how to use the
More on that later… catflap, or I’d have had duck
Meanwhile, on the duck front, poop all over the house…
Mrs Moonfoot managed to … speaking of duck poop.
successfully hatch a dozen of Ducklings are so sweet and
her own ducklings a week or so fluffy and cute. What they do to
before Christmas, a sensible a fishpond, however, is not. By
time to be raising young birds as the end of summer, any
that’s summer down here. Cute surviving goldfish were long
as, little balls of fluffiness. She gone, the lotus plants shredded
introduced them to me, and I and the water a murky soup of
dutifully fed the lot. They were shit green. Cleaning out the
sleeping somewhere across the fishpond and repairing the
main road, and every morning damage is on my list of things to
Mama Moonfoot would lead do over the summer break –
her babies across for breakfast, a

11
 LEE WOOD

along with duck proofing it.

I’ll be happy to buy a plastic
kiddy pool for them, should
Mama Moonfoot come back
with another brood, or any
of these grow up and come
back for a visit with
grandkids in tow. But it’s
winter, and one by one, the
number of ducklings
dropped to eight who grew
wing feathers, flapped and
practiced flying by jumping
off the top of the deck, and
eventually disappeared. As
wild ducks do. Mallard duck
season in Taranaki runs from
the 7th of May to the 3rd of
July, hunters allowed to shoot
up to 10 ducks a day. If any
survive, they’ll be back.
I gave my best friend, Kelly, and intentionally ran over and killed Goldie. The
some “starter” hens once her lovely husband had neighbour got the name of the business, and Rob
finished building their own run and coop – three – a kind-hearted sweetheart in a “don’t fucking
aging Hylines who still laid eggs once in a while, mess with me” physique has since… ahem… had
but were nearing retirement. She named them a word. And cried; he loved Goldie.
all, of course, and it was Rob, her husband, who Lucky Number Eight had several close calls
really fell in love with “their girls.” Three very during her short childhood. Once she’d hatched
spoiled girls, Goldie, Blue and Violet (named for in the incubator, I waited until 2:30 in the
the colour of their plastic ring bands on their morning to take Number 8 out to the coop
legs). They now have another, Decca, one of my nursery, lifted mum up just far enough to pop her
crossbreed mongrels, who has since managed to last chick into the middle of the scrum under her
hatch a single fertile egg from a dozen I gave to and drop her back into place before she was even
Kelly when Decca went broody – sweet little hen quite awake. Lucky Number 8 was a wee bit
turned into Super Bitch. Only one of the eggs smaller and a wee bit more unsteady on her feet
hatched, a chickadoodle that Kelly named L’il than the others, but alive and active. She was
Peep, which sadly may end up being a rooster. always the last in line running for anything,
Time will tell. competing with her bigger siblings, and one
But a few drivers in her neck of the woods are evening was too small to jump over the jamb of
real bastards; a neighbour witnessed a man the door into the main coop, peeping sadly for
driving a company truck jump the verge when mum in the rain. I found her, cold and wet,
the chickens were grazing just by Kelly’s house

12
 LEE WOOD

shoved her under mum for the night and she optimistically planted a small grape vineyard
recovered nicely. that, given a few more years, might actually
My other bestie wanted more chickens, so she produce maximum a half dozen bottles of sour
bought a bag of chick crumble for me, with the homemade wine, and are raising chickens. Not
idea that once the chickadoodles were old enough for meat or eggs, but because they’re cute. Uh-
to survive without Mama, she’d take them off my huh. “Cute chicken” is a contradiction in terms.
hands. All looked like it was going well… Thus the little silkie hen. One of three Katy got
… before winter roared in with a brutal from a brother-in-law as a gift. A couple days
hammering. We’ve had successive waves of cold ago, Katy was on my doorstep, silkie hen in her
fronts rolling up off Antarctica, putting a lot of arms, asking, “What’s wrong with her?” A quick
strain on both livestock and wildlife. One by one, examination showed the hen had a small vent
the chickadoodles disappeared. Two I think prolapse and a bunged up backside. So off we go
made the mistake of slipping under the gate, to Katy’s where she draws a nice warm sitz bath
because they were small enough where Mum was for the hen and holds it down while I wash as
not, and ended up as feathered chicken nuggets much yuck off the chicken’s arse as I could before
for the dog next door. I’ve tried to chicken proof I stick my finger up the cloaca to see if it might
wherever I can, but little birds tend to wander be a broken egg inside her. Thankfully, it wasn’t
where they shouldn’t and not come back. A few I – that pretty much spells death for a chook.
think might have been carried off by native Instead, I pulled out clump after clump of
harrier hawks feeding their own late season constipated chicken poop until there was no more
chicks. And – judging by the tunnels dug into the I could get out and the hard lump around her
coop from under the thin tin walls – rats. Katy backside had relaxed. A couple more sitz baths
next door, when I was in her laundry room with and blowdrying later, and the silkie is out in the
my finger up her new silkie hen’s arse – more on run, eating and drinking and pooping with
that later – remarked that none of her chicks this enthusiasm. And I’m the neighbourhood hero
year survived, either. One by one, they just… because I’m willing to stick my finger up a
disappeared. Dogs, hawks, rats. Even stoats and chicken’s bum. (Something that one of Katy’s
hedgehogs, none of which (except the hawk) are two teenaged girls declared as “ewww, gross!”
natives to New Zealand, and are a chicken’s and left gagging.)
worst enemies. Not that chickens are natives Thus endeth this instillation of things eating
either. Or humans, for that matter. other things and copious pooping.
Oh yes, Katy from next door. They’re a young Oh, were you expecting a heart-warming essay
couple with two teenaged daughters and a about cute and fluffy chicks and ducklings? It’s
preteen son, with three large dogs and a Kune winter. I have a horrible chest cold, coughing and
Kune pig that escaped several times to root havoc runny nose and no it’s not Covid because being a
in my flowerbeds before they moved the pig to a teacher means I have nearly unlimited access to
more secure pen further down their own RAT kits to constantly check. Just your normal,
paddocks. They, like me, are former townies who run of the mill, miserable winter cold.
know nothing about livestock but are, like me, Because… winter sucks.
learning as they go. They have sheep and haven’t
yet given up (I learned a lot about sheep in a few
short years, mostly that I don’t want sheep), have

13
THESE FANNISH THINGS
N O T E R I C M A S C H W I T Z ( H O LT M A RV E L L )

A coffee cup that's stained with inky fingers,

That smell of skunky weed that always lingers
The arrows and the slings, these fannish things remind me of you

Gestetners cranking in the next door slan shack,

That package from JB I had to send back
The phone that never rings, These fannish things remind me of you

You locced, you sneered, you cancelled me

When you did that, you see
I knew somehow this had to be

Spike's legs do bop 'cause she's a a dancer

The neo we all thought was such a chancer
Oh, how the past still clings! These fannish things remind me of you

Drunk oldpharts in the scuzzy consuite

Arm wresting when Charnock gets well beat
Lilian's abandoned rings, These fannish things remind me of you

Those softball games insisted on by Hooper

As Martin Smith lies in a drunken stupor
KTF that stings.These fannish things remind me of you

How strange, how neat, to find this still

This much is clear to me
They seem to keep it near to me

The dinner plans that went completely tits up

The times we had to swallow pride and sadly kiss up
Ken Forman's bits of string. These fannish things remind me of you

But when all's said and done we're still together

The ups and downs of this we'll always weather
My fannish heart has wings. These foolish things remind me of you

The “not” credit above is to the original lyricist of “These Foolish Things”, written under his pseudonym of Holt Marvell

Lyrical manipulation by Nic Farey

14
RENEWING THE PAST, RESHAPING THE FUTURE
JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH

Prelude: The Voices of the Past The writings found within Langford’s digital
books contain much material which points toward
the need for a serious revision of one of the most
popular and widely used methods of structuring
fan history. But getting there requires some
history in itself….

1: Numbers

The development of science fiction fandom

proceeded quickly after the founding of Amazing
Stories. The first letters to the magazine arrived
within months; the first clubs (the Science
Correspondence Club and the Scienceers) formed
in early 1928 and late 1929, respectively; the first
fanzine (The Comet, the organ of the SCC) debuted
in May of 1930; the first convention, with a dozen
or so attendees, took place in October of 1936;
and the first world convention (retrospectively
yclept Nycon), boasting as many as 200 attendees,
took place over the weekend of July 2-4, 1939.
Fandom, it seemed, had completed its
development as a phenomenon on the American
scene; everything necessary was in place and
operating smoothly.
Author, editor, and Hugo Award collector Dave So it was that Jack Speer, in June of 1939,
Langford maintains a website (https://taff.org.uk/ published “Up to Now,” the first significant work
eupdates.php) devoted to digital reprints of once of fan history. Speer made no grandiose claims
well known fannish texts and work by for his narrative; “this doesn't pretend to be the
contemporary leading fanhistorian Rob Hansen. final history of fandom,” he proclaimed; “ -- far,
Writings by Ella Parker, Charles Burbee, Bob far from it. I only hope to make a connected
Shaw, Francis Towner Laney, John Berry, and beginning, perhaps to slam such a mass of
many others, long buried in collections of print misinformation at you that those who know will
fanzines, have been resurrected and given new be bound to give the true accounts.” He
availability. Among the treasures are included trip anticipated that his own work, admittedly
reports associated with the Transatlantic Fan Fund incomplete and biased, would soon be superseded;
(TAFF), which has been a key aspect of fandom he expected that the inevitable corrections, by
for nearly seventy years. Langford’s assemblage is people who were involved in the events portrayed,
an enormous and valuable resource for those would lead toward deeper understandings,
interested in fan history. And— followed by a more detailed descriptions of what
was done when, and by whom. “The eventual

15
 JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH

historian or committee of historians will thus have Publication” (October, 1954 or earlier), and then
a good groundwork for a better, fuller, and more “an Eleventh Fandom Publication” (no later than
accurate account than could possibly be supplied December, 1954, a designation retained until
by any one fan, however experienced, working some time in 1955) It was only later that various
alone to write “the” history of fandom.” fans made serious claims about the actuality of a
Things did not work out quite as Speer Ninth Fandom; Dick Lupoff, in his and Pat
anticipated. In the course of launching his Lupoff ’s Xero, laid out the logic in his article “N-
discussions, Speer divided his history, which N-Ninth F-Fandom?,” in January of 1961 (issue
covered barely a decade, into distinct periods 3): “Peter Vorzimer and Company’s Seventh
(“Fandoms”), separated by “Transitions,” which Fandom movement was a thoroughly deserved
themselves could be longer than the preceding or flop. Fannish evolution is a natural process and no
succeeding Fandom. Speer acknowledged that one has yet succeeded in creating an artificial
this was a matter of convenience as much as fact Great Leap Forward. [….] “a reluctance to use
— “I acknowledge that the periods are much the dis-credited name of the Vorzimer movement
more strictly delineated than the actual conditions, makes it pretty much mandatory to call the years
but I have ample precedent in the writing of since then Eighth Fandom. If we are now in fact
general history”—, but the division caught the entering a new period, it will logically be Ninth
imaginations of fans intrigued by the very idea Fandom.” As had Speer and Silverberg before
that fandom could have a coherent vision of its him, he attempted to provide a list of
birth and development, and was quickly taken up, characteristics; “There are, however, certain
a process encouraged by Speer’s extension of the characteristics of “a fandom” which do change,
original idea in Fancyclopedia, published in 1944. and when most or all of them have undergone a
transition, why, lo and behold, it’s a new fandom!”
Other fannish historians soon extended the idea Most interestingly, Lupoff singled out “Comic
past Speer’s original three fandoms. Robert books!” [his exclamation] as a shared outside
Silverberg went furthest, in an article in Lee interest, one of his categories of relevant
Hoffman’s Quandry 25 (October, 1952), entitled characteristics.
“First and Last Fans,” in which he asserted,
explicitly following a template set by Olaf Most of Lupoff ’s suggestions were promptly
Stapledon (in Last and First Men, the title of which rejected by other fans; Bill Donaho’s response,
he had evidently misremembered), the existence of “Ninth Fandom?,” in Xero 4 (April, 1961), for
three further fandoms. example, omitted both the stuttering and any
sense of enthusiasm for the idea: “Since I suspect
Scarcely had Silverberg’s article been published that once the warmth wears off the nostalgia,
when a group of fans, including Harlan Ellison, even the current hard core of comics-fandom will
proclaimed the creation of Seventh Fandom (May, be getting pretty bored with the whole thing, it
1953). This was greeted with a high degree of might be just as well to hold off having a great
derision, and another group of fans, including batch of ‘Ninth Fandom’ buttons made up just
Peter Vorzimer, soon similarly proclaimed the yet.” Larry Shaw (“but numbers will never hurt
existence of Eighth Fandom (adumbrated in me [lower case sic],” in the same issue)
Abstract 4, June, 1954). As this was happening, the sidestepped the numerical approach as denying an
news of Seventh Fandom made its way to important aspect of fandom’s relation to the
England, where Pete Campbell, seeking to get mundane world: “Fandom, although we
ahead of the nonsense, declared his fanzine
sometimes forget it and sometimes actively deny it,
Andromeda to be, first, a “Tenth Fandom

16
 JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH

exists in the real world. Fandom can never be Speer’s descriptions rely on two assumptions,
entirely separated from the real world. As distinct yet related. The first is that the analysis of
individual fans are subject to mundane influences, different fandoms could be done entirely within
so will these influences have their effect upon the development and functioning of fandom itself;
fandom. And there are some pretty powerful and as Speer wrote, referring to himself in the third
ubiquitous mundane influences floating around person, “Speer maintains that fandom as fandom
these days.” The idea of numbered fandoms should influence the world only thru [sic] its
independent of outside, non-stfnal, influences, influence on the individual fans, who may be
thought Shaw, was largely pointless at best. Harry influential men someday.” The second is that the
Warner, Jr. rejected the concept wholly. “The pattern of development, success, and decline
trouble with any such division of fandom,” he which Speer found in each numbered fandom (“a
wrote, some years later, in A Wealth Of Fable, fairly stable stretch in which known elements work
“...is the way it ignores the interests and out to their conclusion thru interaction and
activities of the bulk of active fans. The development”) would repeat itself continually.
collectors, those who were interested only in Both assumptions were wrong, albeit in different
con-going, those who specialized in local club ways.
affairs, and those who preferred sercon The error of the first was shown quickly. Speer’s
fanzines outnumbered those whose activities expanded argument, spread out over various
resulted in the distinctions between numbered entries in Fancyclopedia, came at almost the last
fandoms, and this majority showed no possible moment; within a year fans who had been
corresponding differences in personnel or serving abroad during World War Two began
forms of activities at the moments when the returning home, and neither they nor the fans
transitions and new numerical fandoms were who had remained in the United States but who
supposed to be affecting fannish fandom.” had lost friends or relatives held the same opinions
It was the beginning of the end for the numbered in the same ways as they had before the war. Nor
approach as offered by Speer, Silverberg, Lupoff, was the attitude of the general public, or at least
and others.1 the small segment of the general public which was
so much as aware of science fiction, as dismissive
as had been the case prior to the war. Destructive
2: Assumptions rockets, jet airplanes, and the destruction of
Hiroshima and Nagasaki, each by a single atomic
It isn’t surprising that there were problems with bomb, suddenly made ‘that Buck Rogers stuff ’ too
the Speer/Silverberg system; indeed, it is probably plausible for comfort.
more surprising that the problems weren’t obvious The flaw in the second assumption became
from the beginning. evident soon afterward, as the returned fans
resumed activity, but with a much broader range
1 A ghost of this approach may be found in Pablo Lennis, a of ideas and approaches. Humorous material,
current fanzine by John Thiel, who began his long fannish sometimes dark, became much more common, as
career just before Lupoff ’s ideas once more raised a
controversy over numbered fandoms; recent issues of Pablo did references to sexuality, and, most significantly
Lennis often make some sort of reference to “Ninth Fandom,” for the argument I will be making, a desire to
which Thiel has described as “the progressive fandom” (e.g. in expand fannish contacts far more extensively than
issue 406, September, 2021).
had hitherto been the case. So it was that the

17
 JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH

range of fanac and fanattitudes expanded the idea of a central fanzine may have made sense
considerably. The problem this posed for the in regard to fandom of the 1930s, when the total
system of numbered fandoms may be seen in number of active fans was scarcely a hundred, it
Silverberg’s gyrations in attempting to broaden became more difficult to sustain as the numbers -
Speer’s methodology. Writing of Fourth Fandom, and disparate interests - of fans increased in the
“which began some time in 1944 and ended about years following the war.
1947,” Silverberg was forced to admit that it “left Nor did the simplistic approach, sometimes little
few remains of importance,” raising obvious more than a listing of popular fanzines, take into
questions about the reasons for identifying it as a account one of the most important developments
separate entity at all. Its successor was similarly in fandom since its beginning: the creation of
insignificant; it “was short-lived. It began in the fannish travel funds.
declining days of 1947 and lasted only until
1949.” Silverberg’s last comments, regarding
what he called Sixth Fandom, indicated something 3: Truth…
close to a surrender:
“Sixth Fandom is a horse of a different color. Early fandom was largely a creature of the
Just as Stapledon’s Sixth Men branched off Depression. Although the first clubs predated the
into all sorts of variants, so has Sixth Fandom. Depression, every single early science fiction
It is impossible to generalize about it, because fanzine was published during the economic
it is still going on (although some have catastrophe. Fannish communications were
detected the identity of a Seventh, Eighth and almost entirely by mail, either as letters or through
even Ninth Fandom).” fanzines (there were plenty of fans whose families
In other words, any sort of coherent definition did not possess a telephone). Even so, there were
was, only a few years after the original proposal, efforts made to get fans together in person, even if
becoming increasingly impossible to attain, let the rather grandly styled ‘conventions’ sometimes
alone sustain. Yet there are good reasons, more saw attendance in single digits. Not even the early
evident as fandom approaches its centennial than world conventions exceeded 200 attendees, and
they were when fandom was barely three decades the term itself was, to say the least, an
old, for adopting something similar yet broader. It exaggeration. As Forrest J Ackerman noted in the
is to these which I now turn. As is so often the Philcon News 1 (February, 1947), “There have been
case in fannish history, the reasons are found in, thus far four World Science Fiction Conventions.
and through, fanzines. However, despite the all-encompassing title
“World Convention”, no one from outside the
Fanzines, or at least certain fanzines, played a
confines of the USA has ever attended. It will be a
significant role in Speer’s analysis, Silverberg’s
decidedly different story at THE PHILCON.”
analysis, and, even after the idea of numbered
fandoms had largely faded out, the attitudes, if Something more was wanted. The answer came
not full-scale analyses, of later fans. Their in the form of a process unmentioned by
relevance came from the fact that specific fanzines Silverberg (Speer could not have heard of it while
could be defined, or at least appear, as “focal crafting his own numbered fandoms, as the idea
points,” the term indicating that the fanzine in had not yet been broached): fannish travel funds.
question served somehow as the core of fannish Travel assistance appeared early in fandom, but
activity in the period under discussion. The only at the individual level: older fans who owned
problem with this definition is easy to see: while automobiles would sometimes trade

18
 JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH

transportation for gasoline money, or might even fundraising, Vick changed the invitation to Chicon
absorb the latter cost in whole or in part. There II, adopting the phrase “WAW With the Crew in
was, though, nothing organized about the process; ’52.” Willis wrote an extended essay, “Willis
nor did it often involve extended distances. Discovers America,” as a sort of prelude to his
This changed after the war, as fans in the United visit even before he knew he was coming
States, many of whom had met fans from the (ironically, it was not published until 1955), and
United Kingdom while stationed abroad, started the fundraising exceeded expectations, allowing
thinking in terms of resuming contact directly. So Willis a leisurely and enjoyable trip.
it was that Ackerman proposed what he called the The second sequel followed almost directly: the
“Big Pond Fund,” intended to pay for the travel creation of what is now known as the
expenses of Ted Carnell, “for many years one of Transatlantic Fan Fund, or TAFF, a subsidization
England’s most active fans, and now editor of the of fannish travel, usually, but not always, to a
British promag, NEW WORLDS.” Worldcon. The first of these launched in 1954,
but its intended
recipient (Vincent
Clarke) could not
travel, so the actual
first recipients , in
1955, were Ken and
Pamela Bulmer.
The Fund has
remained active ever
since, its success
giving rise to several
subsequent funds
with different
geographical foci.
Fandom’s reach was
indeed broadening.
Ackerman started the drive off with a five dollar
This, though, is not the sole, or perhaps even the
donation (about sixty-five dollars today), and a
most important, aspect of the development of fan
large collection of books and other prizes was
funds. What mattered most was the example set
assembled to be awarded in a drawing once the
by Walt Willis. Willis, widely considered the best
fund achieved its goal. It did not; Carnell had to
writer in the whole of fandom, recounted the
wait two more years to attend a Worldcon
details of his trip in a lengthy essay, “The Harp in
(Cinvention, in 1947; much of the funding, in fact,
America: Over There with Grunch and
came from Ackerman). But the idea remained
Eggplant” (the first part of the title derived from
attractive.
his renowned column in Lee Hoffman’s Quandry,
The first sequel came in 1951: Shelby Vick, then a “The Harp That Once or Twice;” the second part
well-known fan himself, started a campaign, akin from an anecdote by Bob Shaw), printed first in
to Ackerman’s for Ted Carnell, to bring the Irish Quandry 27/28 and then in an expanded version,
fan Walter A. Willis to the New Orleans The Harp Stateside, with illustrations by ATom,
Worldcon. There being limited time for published by Willis himself.

19
 JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH

and Chicago. I am happy to say that this is

not true. Not once, in all my long and eventful
association with the Greyhound Company,
have I known that noble and generous
organisation to foist me off with a patched-up
bus. Every time one broke down they would
simply throw it sway and bring on a new one.
Their courage in persisting with this policy in
the face cf financial ruin was in keeping with
the old bus company motto "None but the
brave deserve the fare.” I am glad to say it
was finally rewarded. You will scarcely believe
this, but the fourth and final bus did not break
down at all. This remarkable vehicle was
immediately whisked away to the Greyhound
Research Laboratories, where they are
working on a form of Willis-proof transport.”
A very high bar had been set both for something
which had not yet come into being - the TAFF
report - and for subsequent fannish essays, stories,
and reminiscences.
Writing had always been important to fandom, of
course, but the 1950s saw a surge of major fannish
pieces, many of them with roots in the work of
Walt Willis even when they were not actually
This mixture of personal anecdote and written by him. With “WAW With the Crew in
travelogue, written with Willis’s customary humor, ’52” as its predecessor, the TAFF Award included
gentle but often incisive, was like nothing most the expectation that each winner would write a
fans had ever read. Something of its flavor may trip report. At first they did, most of them
be sensed by Willis’s narrative of his problems appearing initially, and sometimes only, in various
with bus travel; the reader senses the frustration fanzines: Ken Bulmer (Taff Tales, 1955); Robert
Willis must have felt as yet another bus broke Madle (A Fake Fan in London, 1957); Ron Bennett
down, yet nowhere does frustration gain the upper (Colonial Excursion, 1958); Don Ford (, 1959); Eric
hand. The point regarding Greyhound is all the Bentcliffe (EpiTAFF, 1960); Ron Ellik (The Squirrel’s
more devastating for being made elliptically: Tale, 1961), and Ethel Lindsay (The Lindsay Report,
1962).
“Now, at this point I would like to defend the Not until 1963 did a TAFF winner fail to produce
Greyhound Company against an unfair a trip report, and not until 1969 did the tradition
accusation that has been levelled against them. weaken into only occasional publications. Nor
It has been bruited about, probably by some was this all; plenty of pieces, now legendary,
brute employed by Trailways, that our bus appeared alongside the TAFF reports. Among the
broke down three times between New York material from the 1950s available on Dave
Langford’s website, we find John Berry’s long-

20
 JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH

running fanfic spoof, known past seventh, or even sixth,

by its overall name, The Goon fandom hold up under
Defective Agency; Chuck Harris’s examination.
regular column “Random,” in Nor, in fact, do the preceding
his celebrated fanzine Hyphen fandoms hold up well - save
(co-edited by, you guessed it, First Fandom, which,
Walt Willis); and, above all, encompassing fannish
The Enchanted Duplicator, by beginnings, is secure (if
Walt Willis and Bob Shaw, the anything comes afterward,
single most frequently there must always have been a
reprinted piece of fan writing. first). The problem, which
These pieces, and others like might have been obvious even
them, towered over a decade earlier, had anyone looked for
of superb fan writing. it, is that too much is being
made of situations too small to
4: … and Consequences carry the weight thrust upon
them. In 1939, it may have
seemed plausible to posit
Fandom in general, and fanac detailed segments of fannish
in particular, meant many different things to many history as having particular meanings; by the
different people over the decades, and those mid-1950s, despite Robert Silverberg’s best efforts,
meanings have been felt and demonstrated no such plausibility existed. Fannish history, as
passionately, and sometimes very well. Yet it is not practiced by Speer and Silverberg and their
difficult to see, in many of the writings of the followers, was something like carefully examining
1950s, an expressive expansiveness and generosity the cracks in the varnish on an oil painting and
of spirit hitherto much less common in fannish drawing conclusions about its aesthetic
circles. This should come as no surprise; fandom importance therefrom.
itself was expanding enormously. Chicon II, the Especially vulnerable to criticism were the
1952 world convention, had more members than transitional eras depicted by Speer (Silverberg,
the first six Worldcons combined, and most others whether intentionally or by virtue of being
of the decade exceeded 400 attendees (no unaware of the idea, never used them). Once the
convention prior to 1950 had more than 200 salience of the years to either side of a transitional
members). era diminished, the point of the transition all but
As fandom grew, things that had seemed to be of disappeared. In fact, Speer had missed the role of
vast significance to earlier generations often transitions altogether: a transitional era becomes
diminished in memory, becoming mere significant only in retrospect; it acts as the fertile
catchphrases or even being all but forgotten (it is ground out of which changes can grow. The
no accident that The Immortal Storm, Sam transition, therefore, is in fact part of something
Moskowitz’s hyperbolic history of early fandom, which had not yet happened; it has no existence of
made its first book appearance in 1954). Among its own.
the casualties was, as we have already seen, the With this in mind, I propose, eighty and more
numerical system of fannish eras; despite an years later, revising Speer’s approach to take
occasional effort, no one has ever made anything account of forces which he could not have seen

21
 JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH

and did not imagine. To avoid unnecessary As Harry Warner, Jr. would write later, in an essay
conflict with current usage, I will apply letters reprinted as the introduction to Rob Hansen’s e-
rather than numbers, and will use only three. edition), Laney “was following a hallowed
The beginning - Fandom A - is implicit in much of tradition which most fans obeyed at this particular
what I examined in Section 2. It encompasses the time: when you think you’ve had it in fandom, do
early efforts of fans to organize, define, and create something spectacular to call attention to your
science fiction fandom. It begins in 1928, with the gafiation. Often this took the form of a cynical
earliest club, and ends in 1948. The reasons for and bitter letter to this or that fanzine, or an
the latter date are straightforward, both directly article blasting all fandom as a useless or
and indirectly. The obvious landmark is Torcon, dangerous institution.” The description is mild
the first Worldcon not held in the United States; compared to the reality of Laney’s prose. This is,
Torcon itself included another, perhaps surprising, again, a landmark of fannish vituperation (and,
landmark: it featured the first Fan Guest of Honor occasionally, generosity), and it remained
(Bob Tucker). influential, although unreprintable, for years
afterward. Fandom was vastly different, and in
Conversely, 1948 also saw the publication of the very distinct ways, once Laney had released his
first truly notorious fan book (129 pages): Francis blast.
Towner Laney’s Ah, Sweet Idiocy!.
These are events of the year. 1948 also falls
midway between Forrest Ackerman’s first attempt
at the Big Pond Fund (1947) and his later success
(1949); here we see, as noted above, the slow
development of what will be a major component
of fannish practice and lore. Similarly, and
symbolically, it might be noted that February of
1948 witnessed the final installment of E.E.
Smith’s Children of the Lens, his last major work,
while March and November saw the first
appearances of, respectively, Judith Merril’s “That
Only a Mother” and Arthur C. Clarke’s Against the
Fall of Night. Science fiction itself was changing in
ways scarcely imaginable even a year or two
earlier, changes which would inevitably find their
echoes in subsequent fandom(s).
The expansion of fandom continued apace for the
next two decades; many were the subfandoms
which found a home within the larger whole.
This began to change in 1969, and in 1972 it
became clear that a new fandom - Star Trek
fandom - was making its won way in the world.
Thus comes Fandom B. This being rather beyond
my frame here, I will note only two key moments,
one actual and the other symbolic. The first is the
Star Trek Lives! convention in New York City. The

22
 JUSTIN E.A. BUSCH

conrunners anticipated that they might reach 500 conventions, and of an increasing fragmentation
attendees; in the event over 3,000 appeared, more of the very idea of fandom as a community. It is,
than had attended any Worldcon to that point. however, well out of my analysis here, save as a
Subsequent Star Trek conventions were even more fact in itself.
massive in their attendance, and eventually 5: L’Envoi
became wholly commercial propositions, as what
is now known as media fandom exploded into life.
Few events have had a more significant impact on Occam’s razor applies to history as to philosophy:
science fiction fandom. it is best not to multiply historical entities (eras, if
you will) unnecessarily. At any given point, there
The same year also marked the end of crewed
are those who aware of current tendencies and, in
moon voyages, Apollo 17 (December) being the
accordance with their own views, goals, hopes,
last. Since World War Two, science fiction fans
and fears, are working for or against what
had been witnessing technological triumph after
surrounds them. There are others who are
technological triumph, many of them seeming to
oblivious, having better, or at least more
point toward the eventual colonization of the
interesting, things about which to think. And
moon, of Mars, and perhaps even of objects even
there are those who are attempting to analyze the
further away, just as depicted in so many stories
forces impinging upon them and their colleagues,
and books. This, it now appeared, was no longer
friends, and even enemies. All are part of the
to be the case, and an era of fannish - and
process of history, but few are those who can truly
perhaps also mundane - optimism faded into
grasp it from within; that is a task best assumed by
history.2
those who come later, who have, perhaps, gained
Fandom C is harder to place chronologically, distance and perspective. Most of what seems
although its driving force is obvious: this is the vitally important at any given moment will take its
fandom born of the dominance of the internet. place among the minor matters of the past soon
Perhaps 2001 is as good a date as any; certainly enough. This, though, does not mean that those
somewhere around the turn of the century, print for whom certain topics or issues demanded
fanzines ceased to be central to fandom, which intense personal responses were wrong. Quite the
communicated now increasingly through digital opposite: it is only by engaging with the passions
platforms (outside of apazines, I know for certain of the past that we can hope to gain a clearer
of only five print-only fanzines, two of them mine, sense of our own passions. Resources such as
and have some awareness of a few other those provided by Rob Hansen do not merely
possibilities, although attempts to trade with their provide an opportunity for exercises in nostalgic
editors have been met only with silence). This is curiosity; they offer ways to develop a deeper
also the era of fanac.org and efanzines.com (and sense of our predecessors in fandom and what
Rob Hansen’s website), of podcasts and virtual mattered most to them and why. We can learn
2 from them, of course, both as regards what we
It is worth noting also that 1972 also marked the
reject and what we might wish could be retained,
beginning of NESFA Press, best known for its
excellent reprintings of novels and stories by but, far more importantly, we can find ourselves
authors drawn generally from earlier generations. engaging with people we never knew at a deeply
Modern fandom may be digital in most things, human level, one which has the potential to
but it is accompanied by a certain nostalgia, even reshape both our understanding of fannish history
if many a reader might find it difficult to say just and of ourselves.
for what.

23
A VISIBLE FAN ABROAD
MICHAEL J LOWREY

A TAFF Journal of the Plague Years and other Eurofen can provide. (Perhaps some
Chapter the First: The Trip That Never of the folks currently registering for
Was ConFiction?) One of Langford’s few failings is
that his Ansible con and meeting lists mostly
It was about the Beginning of January 2020, that I, seem to stop east of the English Channel. If
among the Rest of my Neighbours, heard in ordinary there are no fannish contacts to be made,
Discourse that a new Plague was come from the East, obviously the Finland and Eastern Europe leg
for it had been very violent there. It matter'd not, from could be omitted, instead going through
whence it come; but all agreed, it was come into Denmark to Germany. And if there were
Europe. [apologies to Daniel Defoe] invites from Italia or Portugal: hey, I’m eager
to be flexible. There’s no place I want to avoid
I didn’t pay much attention. I was watching the outside of Putin’s Russia and Russian-
election for the Trans-Atlantic Fan Fund, whose occupied Ukraine.
results were announced about the same time. This
was my third nomination, and this year, huzzah! I I do want to emphasize: I am a union activist
was the winner. The complications and politics, and former student radical; I have no problem
including the thunderous editorials by a good with staying in hostels, or sleeping on couches,
friend (Nic Farey) telling people not to vote for futons, air mattresses, or piles of donated
me? Those belong in a history of TAFF, not in clothing heaped in church basements [real-life
what is after all a trip report. example]. I'm a cheap date (teetotaler, too; so
cheap for drink-buying) and not a picky eater
That January, I wrote: (just enthusiastic). I have no problem with
Ideally, after leaving Stockholm on 22 or 23 traveling by means of buses, trains, trolleys,
March, I'd like to get over to Finland, then ferries, hovercraft [not full of eels], car rides
proceed south and west through the Baltics, from fen I just met, etc. My only first-world
Poland, maybe the Czech Republic or even need is WiFi, as frequently and cheaply as
Hungary?, Germany, the Netherlands, ideally practicable.
France, then up to England, over to Wales, Alas, I am only fluent in English and
across briefly to Ireland, then double back to somewhat in rusty Esperanto; I can stumble
England, to London, then north through through a menu in Spanish, or insult idiots in
English fandom to Scotland (at least the limited and somewhat archaic Deutsch. I have
Lowlands, whence the Lowreys/Lauries/ no Svensk, Suomi, Latviesu Valoda,
Lowerys came; and Edinburgh) and back Magyar, Lëtzebuergesch, etc. I’m also horrible
south, arriving in Birmingham for Eastercon 9 with faces and names; fair warning.
or 10 April.
I want to emphasize, my ultimate itinerary will
Ambitious? Hell, yeah. be determined by where fans want to have me
I warmly remember 1990, when there were visit, not by where I would like to be a tourist.
busloads of Finns and carloads of Poles at I just want to get away from the ‘ambassador
ConFiction; I'd love to have contact with folks from Anglophone North America to
like that, make this a truly European visit and Anglophone Europe’ syndrome.
not just the British Isles. I don't have names or By late February, I had a schedule in place. With
addresses for any of these places, though, and the help of such stellar folks as Johan & Linnéa
would be pathetically grateful for any aid you Anglemark, Marcin “Alqua” Kłak, Jukka Halme,

24
 MICHAEL J LOWREY

Tomas Cronholm, Pilar Fernández, and Blanca

Now Fantastika has been cancelled/
Rodríguez, from mid-March, when I would begin
postponed, and Eastercon may follow. All the
with the Swedish national convention Fantastika
meetings and stayovers and gatherings in
2020, I was struggling to make arrangements to
between? They may be banned, or fans may
visit as much of Eurofandom as practicable, from
simply consider it prudent to avoid such
Sweden onward, ending my Grand Tour at
assemblies for now.
Concentric. As late as March 9, details were being
finalized for a sofa in Barcelona on which I could I am sorry if anybody perceived my previous
rest my head. Tickets were being bought and my attitude as one of irresponsibility; I thought of
itinerary finalized; Py had even created and it rather as steadfast determination to fulfill the
ordered limited-edition enameled pins as guest obligation I had undertaken to serve as
gifts for those who would host me. fandom’s ambassador. I had all these invites
from eager fans (they felt like they were
Not all my ambitions were realized, but I was set
younger and more enthusiastic than the Old
up to land in Sweden for Swecon, go on to Turku
Fans and Tired I usually hang with) in places
and Helsinki to meet with Finnish fans, then do a
like Helsinki and Katowice and Barcelona,
run through Warsaw, Katowice and Krakow
boldly seizing a chance to connect with the
meeting various Poles along the way, followed by a
broader fannish world. I was looking forward
hop over to Madrid, then Barcelona for visits with
to crashing on sofas in Krakow and Madrid
Spanish fandom, then to London. I was to hit
and Turku. And now….
Gatwick at 8:20 on the morning of the 3rd of
April, and had no idea what would be doing from My heart is breaking as I face the probability
there until the Thursday before Eastercon in that all this planning, all this enthusiasm, will
Birmingham on Easter weekend (10-13 April). I prove to have been for naught. I am hoping
had to return to the States after that, but I was that something can be salvaged from the
pleased by what I had been able to do. wreckage, and in the meantime I thank all of
fandom for their input, even those who
And then it all fell apart. On March 11, one of my
criticized me most harshly.
Spanish contacts told me the country was being
closed off. By March 12, I announced, under the Sure enough, every con and meeting was
header ‘Shredded Orange TAFFeta: A Journal of cancelled and travel was globally forbidden. With
the Plague Year’: a few minor exceptions (a ferry and a train ride, I
think), all of the tickets I’d scheduled were
As the 2020 TAFF delegate, I was booked to
cancelled without refund, costing TAFF more
begin next week with Fantastika 2020, the
money than I care to think about, even two years
Swecon (Swedish national SF/F convention),
later. Everyone rushed to insist that I remained the
then going on to Turku and Helsinki in
2020 delegate, whenever I would travel (not least
Finland; Warsaw, Katowice and Krakow in
of all Nic); and I was assured by older, wiser hands
Poland, and Madrid and Barcelona, before
that TAFF would not be bankrupted even if
carrying on to London, parts unknown in the
almost every cent/euro/pound spent on tickets
UK, and eventually Birmingham for
was to be lost (as most eventually were). But as the
Eastercon (the British national con). Less than
world learned more about COVID-19, glib hopes
24 hours ago, I posted a defiant determination
of a fall 2020 trip collapsed; as would, in their
to be fandom’s delegate across the Great
turns, spring and then fall of 2021.
Water.

25
ALL THE WAY FROM PANGLOSS
NOT MOTT THE HOOPLE

Forgot my six-page one-shot, and hit the sky

Half way to Pangloss 'fore I realized
Well I rang the next door neighbor, we had a bond
He said it's in a pile of Vanamonde

Now it's a mighty long way to get to B.C.

And I don't have the ish to bring with me
Gonna look like a bum with no membership fee
All the way to Pangloss

Well I got to Pangloss, crept in, kept my head down

Two hundred fanzines out, and me the clown
Stavros said "Drunk old arseholes, you're all the same
"Can't even get a one-shot done", I felt so ashamed

Now it's a mighty long way to FIAWOL

Through the Corflu cult (yeah, that's getting old)
You're a wannabe star but you're still on parole
All the way to Pangloss

Yeah it's a mighty long way to FIAWOL

And they keep telling you, you got to stay in your role
You're pubbing your ish but it falls down a hole
All the way to Pangloss

Yeah it's a mighty long way to FIAWOL

Some say you're hot, and some say you're cold
At least you're not dead, but just fuckin' old
All the way to Pangloss

Yeah it's a mighty long way to FIAWOL

And the nextish is great, I mortgaged my soul
Came away fired up, this is gonna be gold
All the way from Pangloss

Original song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuMOWrRZ0HA

Lyrical manipulation by Nic Farey

26
TO Å CON, WITH LOVE
Y L VA S P Å N G B E R G

I learnt to knit in school, we all did – at least they Swedes. The first years there was only one real
tried to teach us all. But I wasn’t very keen on it. Ålander among the members. She was venue
In those days I was way more interested in doing liason and liased us with Hotel Adlon, an
drawings, something that kept me happily establishment boasting a sports bar, a pizzeria, a
occupied all evenings and half the nights, to my not really immense lobby and one conference
mother’s resigned concern. I had a mild case of room, which during Åcon is used for the only
the knitting craze that was rampant in the early program track. Because of these limitations,
eighties and achieved two sweaters, with great Åcon accepts only a hundred members.
pride. After an episode when I went home to And yet, this miniscule con manages to have a
mom’s for Christmas, broke out with chicken-pox high quality program and guests of honour from
and had to stay with her for two weeks, and then, abroad – Britain, mostly, but also the States and
upon returning home, found that the knitting I Canada. Don’t ask me about how this is feasible
had forgot to bring with me for the holidays had financially, I’ve never been on the committee. I’m
shared its bag with a pear I experienced some just in awe of the fact that it can be done.
doubt. Neither the knitting nor the pear were Members don’t come only from Scandinavia but
very appetizing at that stage, and I thought that also from Britain, and sometimes further afield.
perhaps knitting wasn’t for me after all. (Though the member from China probably was
But fifteen years later I suddenly developed an in Europe on other business.)
urge to spin and dye yarns, something that Åcon is … how should I describe it? Relaxed.
turned out to be a lot more difficult without Familiar. Exhilarating. Relaxing. Awesome.
tutelage than I had anticipated but led to me
Maybe “awesome” isn’t quite the right word. You
amassing yarns of all possible qualities and
see, both Finnish and Swedish have vowels with
characteristics. A budding passion took hold of
tréma, thus Ä (pronounced as in “hair”) and Ö
me and I started knitting.
(“first”). But Swedish also has the vowel Å
When the first Åcon was held in 2007, I was a (“call”).
little nervous. Leave home for the weekend
The Finns seem to think this poor letter endlessly
without a knitting? No. Knit in public … at a
entertaining, hilarious even. Åcon is, therefore,
con?
”the åsomest little con in the world”.
I needn’t have worried.
Or as the convention’s motto went a few years
Åcon is an annual Finnish-Swedish con, held on back: The most fun you can have in a
Ascencion weekend, in Mariehamn, the capital of demilitarized zone!
Åland. Åland is a small group of islands in the
And the knitting?
Baltic, just between Finland and Sweden; it’s an
autonomous part of Finland but the inhabitants Oh, I almost forgot about that. Åcon is a knitters’
(about 30 000) speak Swedish, albeit with a con. Everybody knits. I could happily continue
dialect very close to the one spoken by the with my lace cardigan (in cheap cotton yarn, now
Swedish-speaking minority in Finland. thrown away) even when participating in a panel.
The idea of Åcon was to bring the fandoms of Just one more reason to love Åcon.
Sweden and Finland closer, and the committees
have, over the years, consisted of both Finns and

27
SHOW ME THE MONEY
N I C FA R E Y
The genesis of this article occurred as a cannot and could not possibly have seen through
serendipitous confluence. In an editorial Zoom projects such as the Hoover Dam or the US
conference with Ulrika (yes, we do do that, and Interstate highways. We could interpret the need
they’re not all dominated by scurrilous gossip) we for a starship or a fleet of them at some point in a
alighted upon the topic of Universal Basic similar public works concept, but this implies an
Income programs, some of the experiments of overall governmental authority which is both
which I had already been aware of and interested willing and able to make it happen, a situation
in. This led me to consider whether a discussion from which mankind is deliberately retreating.
of monetary systems in sf (where they exist or are Larry Niven’s contentions that at the point we'll
central to the world-building) would be need to construct a Dyson sphere or indeed a
worthwhile, even from my typical position of Ringworld, then we'll have the ability to do so
single-minded anti-capitalist fury, or perhaps looks like utter fantasy, since the current state of
because of it. “government” suggests that we’ll be grunting and
The very next day (or at least it seemed like it), I hurling feces at more enlightened alien visitors by
was having a typically meandering conversation then.
with my work colleague “Mad” James Kerns
while staging at the airport and bemoaning our
penury, when he observed that “You know, in Star
Trek there isn’t any money”, after floating the idea
that all the money in the world might be collected
and divided evenly among the population for a
fresh start. After disabusing his belief that Star
Trek doesn't have an overt medium of exchange
or seemingly an inherent desire for wealth with
“Tell that to a Ferengi” (and later thinking of the
episode ‘The Most Toys’) I did continue to
ponder.
Concurrently, the BBC World Service broadcast
a short series of documentaries, ‘Money Money
Money’, on the history and establishment of
media of exchange and the forms they take.
James’ mention of Star Trek prompted the
immediate question in my mind of “How do you
get a starship built?”, and I then realized that any
theoretical consideration of a moneyless society is In the case of most science fiction, the existence
hampered by the fact that we’re inculcated to of a medium of exchange of some kind seems to
everything having to be paid for. This is a fact of be either assumed or ignored completely. In my
our individual lives which are transactional, but undoubtedly less than comprehensive (though not
consider that this does not have to be the case insubstantial) reading in the field I can think of
with a more collectivist mindset. The ultra- only one capitalist-as-hero, Van Vogt’s Artur
capitalist system (properly, I suppose, termed Blord, although there are more than enough
“late-stage capitalism”) which currently exists examples of characters who are simply rich

28
 N I C FA R E Y

enough to do as they like (Jubal Harshaw, an historical example, but also really any metal
perhaps?) with little comment as to how they you can think of - iron can be made into swords
reached their plutocratic status (although or ploughshares, silver and gold into jewelry and
Harshaw is stated to have plied the trades of so on. This moves us to the need for a
doctor and lawyer). That’s not to say that sf representative currency, the “gold standard” or
stories centrally concerned with money or some equivalent.
economics don’t exist, as a quick peruse of the A representative currency is, at least in theory,
SF Encyclopedia under the headings one that is backed by a commodity, for example
‘Economics’ and ‘Money’ will easily show. the gold standard in which a bearer’s note can be
Asimov’s 1958 short ‘Buy Jupiter’ is one where cashed in for its denominational equivalent in
the sneaky capitalists get the win. the underlying commodity. I wonder if anyone
The history (or manner) of media of exchange ever tried to do this by, say, turning up at Fort
can be reasonably broken into four stages: barter, Knox with a sack of used notes and asking for
commodity, representative and fiat, and it’s gold bars. Representative currency predictably
worth defining these. Barter is simply enough became a transitional state, since it was tied to
understood as an exchange of items of need. I the value of the underlying commodity, which
have more firewood than I need, you have an would itself be subject to the whims of supply
apple orchard, and we exchange presumed and demand and is also manipulable (which is
surplus to each other’s satisfaction. This is simply not to say that the next stage isn’t). There is at
expanded to a tripartite situation where perhaps least one fine example I know which posits a
Fred needs apples but not firewood and I need representative currency, the typically and
cabbages, which he cultivates in abundance, so wonderfully subversive ‘Spondulix’ by Paul di
we agree that I will give you firewood in Filippo, in which the commodity is deli
exchange for you giving Fred apples, and he sandwiches.
gives me cabbages. The further expansion of this The vagaries of having a representative currency
inevitably local system should end up with the are pointedly expressed in Blish’s ‘Cities in
entire community having a big swap-meet with Flight’, where the underlying commodity
hopefully everyone coming away with their changes, in this case to a drug standard related
needs met. Very socialist, but really only to anti-agathics, a huge amount of which Mayor
workable at a local level. Inter-community Amalfi has passed up (not knowing what their
trading creates the necessity for the commodity future value would be), ultimately leaving his city
system, in which a single item of intrinsic value of New York impoverished rather than
(like a piece of metal) is determined by whatever immeasurably wealthy.
method of bookkeeping to be worth an
Fiat currency supplants the representative
equivalent in other commodities: one unit of
version, and here an issuing authority (usually a
whatever can be used to acquire a cord of
government) mints coinage or prints pieces of
firewood, a bushel of apples or a crate of
paper in useful denominations which have
cabbages, say. This soon requires subdivision of
transactional value (only) for getting that
the commodity, since I might only want enough
firewood, apples or cabbages. Fiat currency was
apples to make a pie and not leave the unwanted
first created in 11th century China, but didn’t
amount to rot, which starts the process of
achieve a measure of ubiquity until the 20th
coinage denomination. The inherent problem
century in the rest of the world. President
with this type of money is that the commodity is
often if not always consumable itself, salt being

29
 N I C FA R E Y

Richard Nixon’s defaulting on the gold standard also strongly implied here (as in Star Trek) that
was the turning point for the USA, here. there almost has to be some kind of cataclysm
None of this, though, predicts the Star Trek resulting in the effective destruction of existing
moneyless future, and there's little I could find society, only to be recovered from by the
that depicts any transitional stage between serendipitous invention of replicator technology.
needing and then not needing some form of This sidetracks us to the consideration that
currency, until the blinding flash of light arrived replicator technology isn’t all-powerful, since, for
with the season finale of Orville: New Horizons. example, Star Trek ships have to beetle around to
Without spoilers, I hope, Commander Grayson various mining planets to secure supplies of
(Adrianne Palicki) explains to a would-be but dilithium (and other commodities in other
well-meaning thief of the technology that the instances), a situation that doesn’t appear to have
turning point is the invention of the matter changed much in the future of ST:Discovery. The
replicator, which leads to a post-scarcity society limitations of the replicator remain unexplained
in which the irrelevance of money is just a side- and ignored. It’s worthy of note that in the
effect. Grayson, however, also explains (with a travels of ST:Voyager, for example, transactions
clear in-universe historical example) the reason often occur as barter, which is quite the
for the existence of the Planetary Union's throwback. That very much echoes the Maori
equivalent of the Prime Directive: replication concept of “koha”: a favor done for some
technology had been gifted to one particular perhaps future return, but primarily as a way of
planet which swiftly proceeded to destroy itself, establishing community bonds.
implying that late-stage capitalism isn’t geared to It seems, then, that we can’t expect any smooth
getting this bounty to those who would most transition from a wholly transactional society to
need it. In other words, any race or species has a post-scarcity (moneyless) one. I’d like to get the
to be philosophically able to reap the benefits for Orville's version of replicator technology, though.
all, not just some elite who would wish to remain It is able to produce a decent whiskey.
ascendant at the expense of the rest of us. It’s

30
TITS
ULRIKA O’BRIEN
Tits are just weird. Or at least, becoming the the women in those movies seemed very little like
custodian of a pair, particularly a large pair, is anyone I knew. They wore extravagant,
weird. beautifully form-fitting, décolleté dresses in
There are things that just fell through the cracks luxurious, slinky fabrics. They also spoke in
(you should excuse the expression) when it came contrived, stilted periods, were perfectly coifed
to my early sex education. My mother gave me a and made up, and tripped along like elegant
very rudimentary talk when I was eight or so – unicorns on their impossibly high heels. They
whenever it was I first asked about reproduction I were nothing like my mother, grandmother, or
guess – and then left the rest for me to figure out any real women I knew. I don’t remember ever
from a series of worthy and educational books. aspiring to dress or be like them. They were too
Not one of which, by the way, felt it incumbent alien, too unattainable. Something. Besides, I
on them to make even passing mention of was a tomboy.
erections – what they are, or are like, or are for, But in the movies, despite vast tracts of generous,
or indeed that they happen at all. So that was an shapely, miraculously well- supported cleavage
interesting surprise. Perhaps as a direct result, I being on more-or-less constant display, nobody
find erections endlessly fascinating, miraculous, made a thing about tits. Men in the movies did
and charming to this day. not grope them, or ogle them, or even notice
And yeah, another thing that never really got them, really. Along with the pineapple
explained was the whole tits-as-mind-control headdresses and strappy platform heels, along
thing. with the New Look silhouette, tiaras, Audrey
Hepburn updos, and all the rest, prominently
Sure, I understood that adult women had breasts,
displayed bosoms were simply part of the
generally speaking, and I suppose I had some
package. That was how women dressed fancy in
vague inkling that I would eventually develop a
old movies.
set of my own. I never yearned for breasts of my
own. Indeed, I didn’t give them much thought,
not even when the Tit Fairy showed up, way too
fucking early, before I turned eleven. I certainly
had no conception that anybody else would think
about them, ever. Other than perhaps my
grandmother who got a bit persistent about
getting me my first training bra. Nobody warned
me about tits’ awesome potential. Absolutely no
one told me that my tits might have the power to
make boys and men lose their damn’ minds. And
yet...
I don’t think I had any very good modeling on
how tits work in the wider world. Not in real life,
certainly. As a kid, I did watch a lot of old black
and white movies from the ‘30s, ‘40s, and ‘50s –
back then, old black & white films were
practically all that was on TV. Them and
Captain Kangaroo. He was no help, either. And

31
 ULRIKA O’BRIEN

Apparently, this is not how things work in real me, muscular adult arms, holding me against
life. It did take the clue train several passes to himself, hard. His mouth was on mine, wet and
finally run me down, though. confusing, and I could feel his tongue pushing
In retrospect I realize the stupidly premature tits against my closed lips, against my teeth. I was a
had a part in the cherry orchard incident. At the blank. My heart was hammering in the base of
very least, they made me seem far older than my my throat and I was paralyzed. Could. Not.
ten years and some months. That day, I was Move.
running away from home. Finally. It was a fine After some nameless eternity, just as quickly it
spring day, and I had my lime-green vinyl purse was over. He was talking again, still on about
with me, and a flowered, bell-bottomed pantsuit seeing a show. He asked me to meet him there
my mother had made for me, and I was going to after his work was over. He set a time, and I
show my parents whatever it was I was going to agreed to it. He made me promise. I promised.
show them. I would be revenged for some Anything to get away. I turned back the way I
injustice or other. I have long-since forgotten it. had come up the sidewalk. Back toward home.
Forgot it the same day, probably. I walked calmly until I was sure I was out of
I got as far from home as the cherry orchard sight. Then, I ran.
next to the junior high school. There was a man It was years before I stopped feeling guilty about
there, working in the orchard, picking fruit breaking that promise. It was years before I
maybe. (Maybe there were others there, too – could interact normally with Hispanic men. But
surely there must have been if it was harvest in all of that horrifying, endless abortive French
season – but I only remember the one.) kiss, I’m pretty sure he never groped me. Small
He called me over as I was walking past on the blessings.
sidewalk, asking me if I had the time. Back then The first time I was groped was in junior high
I wore a gigantic man’s style watch – the only school. Seventh grade, it was, in the cafeteria. I
kind my mother ever bought for me – so I could hated junior high. I was often the object of
hardly have denied knowing, even had it mockery and torment, and in that first year,
occurred to me to try. It did not occur to me. I largely friendless. I was in line for a tray of
came over, and told him the time. He asked my something awful. I have a clear memory of
name, and I told him. He told me his name was wilted, near-black canned spinach in a
David, with the soft, fricative Spanish ‘v’. He congealing pool of urine-yellow fluid. There
taught me to make the unfamiliar sound, made may have been a rectangular block of so-called
me repeat it until I had it right. To this day, my pizza. Reed O’Reilly was just behind me in line,
Spanish ‘v’s are excellent. with a giggling pair of his cronies behind him. I
I don’t remember what all he asked me, but at knew I was in for it.
one point he did ask how old I was. I told him. Reed asked me whether I ‘stuff.’ “What?” I
I don’t know if he believed me or not. He said I asked. “Do you stuff ?” he asked again. There
seemed much older. He began asking me if I was more giggling in the background. “What??”
wanted to see a show with him. I didn’t “Do you STUFF?” What? Stuff ? Stuff what?
understand what he meant, what he was asking I don’t think I even responded out loud that
me. He repeated the question, several times, but time. Like I say, I never had any particular
it was the same words and I still didn’t know how ambition to get breasts. They came unsought
to answer. Suddenly, the world got darker. He and uninvited, and had simply to be dealt with.
had stepped in close, and his arms were around So it would never in a zillion years have occurred

32
 ULRIKA O’BRIEN

to me that someone might pad out the contents I tell these stories not to beg sympathy or imply
of her bra with Kleenex or whatever. I simply that I am still traumatized. I just wanted to give
couldn’t comprehend what Reed was asking me. some concrete examples for the observation that
Getting no useful information from me, Reed men (not all men!) do some really epically stupid
apparently decided that the empirical approach shit when under the influence of a pair of
was best. Quick as a blink, his hand was on my knockers. I see that now, after many reinforcing
breast, squeezing it. Not painfully, but there was lessons, but it was a while yet before the clue
not one damn’ thing erotic about it. My mind train caught up with me. Even after Reed’s little
went blank again, frozen in an eternal instant. I stunt, I had no notion that my breasts might
had no reaction to give. I don’t remember if I have had something to do with weird male
paid for my lunch. I guess I must have, then behavior.

stumbled away feeling mocked and humiliated, Then I bought a pink sun dress on a visit to
once again. Many, many years later Reed ran Sweden. I loved that dress. It had a tailored
into my mother while she was out walking the bodice that fit like a bustier, cut low, and
dog, and asked her to send his regards to me. required no bra underneath to keep the girls
Apparently, he liked me. Only now, retelling this, snugged together and well forward. It buttoned
do I begin to wonder if the whole stupid incident all the way down the front. ALL the way. Also,
happened because he liked me. Holy fuck. it was just exactly the shade of ice pink that suits
Fathers, please, please tell your sons not to pull my coloring. It absolutely gave me cleavage that
shit like this. The contents of a girl’s bra is not wouldn’t quit and I felt pretty wearing it,
your business unless she invites you, and especially with a pair of espadrille heels that
checking for yourself is no way to handle a cross-laced around the ankle and all the way up
declaration of interest, or affection. Obvious to the knee. Without fully realizing it, I felt sexy.
observation is obvious, right? Too sexy, apparently. My normally very broad-

33
 ULRIKA O’BRIEN

minded Swedish grandmother did NOT want That scoop neck will get you every time. For a
me wearing it out. I couldn’t get a straight while in college I worked as a courier for a fancy
answer as to why not. To me, the display wasn’t Century City law firm. (I was, in fact, the first
any different from what you might see in one of woman my boss, Roger, hired into that job and
those old black and white movies that we thanks to me, he went on to hire other women
watched together. That seemed perfectly okay in couriers after me. Presumably small-breasted
the films. Now would have been the time to ones, though, as we shall see. But teaching
explain to me in so many words that large Roger that women make perfectly competent
breasts when squished together like that have the couriers was a proud moment, after the fact.)
power to rot men’s brains right out their ears. Over that summer word came down to Roger
Especially when what’s doing the squishing is a from the lawyers that I wasn’t dressing
dress that, if unbuttoned, would leave nothing professionally enough. Now, I was just delivering
but girl underneath. And for esthetic reasons, I filings to the court clerk’s office and making
preferred to wear it with the topmost and copies at the law library, occasionally serving
bottommost buttons undone. There is such a summonses, and driving a banger Pinto wagon
thing as preying too much on the imagination of with no working A/C so no, I wasn’t wearing
the observer. blouses that buttoned up to the neck. But I
The pink dress never actually got me in trouble, wasn’t going out of my way to show skin, either.
but it sure provoked attention. Home in San I just needed to survive driving around in the LA
Jose I wore it to the county fair and actually had heat without air conditioning. But the attorneys
a small group of men following me around the objected to cleavage, and Roger dutifully
entire fairground. Not approaching – possibly delivered the message that the partners wanted
thanks to my kid brother and his best friend -- me showing less skin. I quit soon after, for
but just, apparently, fascinated. A few years later entirely other reasons. But by then I had come
I wore it to my speech class on a day when I was to appreciate the brain-crushing power of tits,
speaking. While I waited outside the classroom and was therefore able to deploy them in a
for class to start a woman, a total stranger, came measured and deliberate way. Tactical tits, you
up to me and berated me at length for showing might say. On my last day, I wore my Suzi Wong
up on campus looking like that. We didn’t have dress to work, as a final “fuck you” to the
the term for it then, but this was my first episode attorneys.
of slut shaming. It’s not like my nipples were Now, the Suzie Wong dress was something
showing or anything. But I had big tits and I special. My boyfriend of the time had bought
wasn’t hiding them. I was, in fact, showing them me a gift certificate to Trashy Lingerie for
off. This is another thing that nobody tells you. Christmas that year. Trashy Lingerie made what
Nobody told me, anyway: large breasts are you might call erotic couture: custom corsetry,
shameful, proof of a base nature, and need to be bustiers, bras, the whole line. At the time their
hidden away to protect society at large. Small- confections were much seen in the pages of
breasted women can get away with absolute Playboy magazine, particularly on various
murder and nobody blinks. Décolletage down to Playmates of the Month, and they were
her navel? Fine. Nipples clearly visible in side eventually skyrocketed to even greater fame
view through the armholes of her shirt? No when Madonna debuted one of their corsets
problem. But you put a pair of D-cups into a onstage. Jet black it was, with gold tassels at the
scoop neck shirt? Die, heretic! nipples. Typical Madonna restraint.

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 ULRIKA O’BRIEN

Now, on my own I
have never been
the sort of girl
that turns heads,
garners adoring
worshippers, or
stops traffic. Best
I could ever
manage was the
lesser laurel of
Babe by Fannish
Standards.
*shrug* That’s
not a terrible
thing, I’m not
complaining. But
it means I can
fairly give credit
where credit is
So. The Suzie Wong dress was made to due, to that
magical damn’ dress and the Mind Melting
measure. Built for me, you could say. Like its
Power of Tits. When I strode into the lobby of
namesake, it was cut as a Chinese chi pau, form
the Century City office tower that housed
fitting, with a mandarin collar. Unlike the
Wyman, Bautzer, Rothman, Kuchel, and Silbert
original, it had a deep keyhole neckline made to
(hut, hut, hike), I was truly rocking the house.
show off the effect of a push-up bra underneath.
I had it made up in black silk, edge-piped in red. At the elevator, I waited for a couple of tall,
It was just shy of knee length, and slit right up to pinstriped, three-piece suited attorneys to step
the hip on either side. With gartered black off before I marched into the carriage. The two
stockings and my red stiletto pumps, that dress of them stopped dead, did a comedy double-take
could literally stop traffic. Among other things. and fairly scrambled over each other to try to
In that dress, I had it going on. When I wore it push their way back into the elevator. Too late. I
to John’s next office Christmas party one of the smiled sweetly at them as the doors closed
staff wives actually creaked -- like a rusty hinge -- between us. I may have laughed out loud. I have
when she saw me walk in. For that matter, when never in my life, before or since, had that kind of
I wore it on a visit to the Magic Castle absurd first-sight effect on men. It was amazing.
magicians’ club in Hollywood, I actually got Supernatural. I don’t think I’d want to have that
selected to be the audience assistant in the close- kind of power on an ongoing basis, it would be
up show. Assisting the magicians is more uncomfortable and alienating. But for just a
typically the exclusive province of the sort of moment there, I was very fucking mighty.
long, lean, devastatingly beautiful sylph that the And that, my dears, is why tits are weird. But
film and fashion industry litters the landscape kinda fun, once you learn how to use them.
with. But that time, runty, unbeautiful me. That
dress was magical.

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SUSCIPE VERBUM
THE READERSHIP

Public and heartfelt apologies to Jerry Kaufman, sharpness could be blunted if various award
whose loc on 15 somehow slipped through the and convention committees would stop
cracks in the long interim between that issue and capitulating to threats by whiners. The fact
16. Here it is… that committees keep caving is what gives the
outrage addicts power. Dog trainers know
that the way to expire bad behavior is to stop
Jerry Kaufman rewarding it.
It was a pleasure to get a paper copy of BEAM 15 FYI, when you say of Campbell that he was
(51 MAEB). I’ve enjoyed reading it, and have a “devoted to a lot of ideas we’d now call
comment or twelve to make, starting with a gush pseudoscience, with our benefit of half a century
of appreciation for Sara Felix’s cover. It’s a of hindsight and discovery,” you’re assuming that
watercolor, isn’t it? Not a medium I see used in the readers of Astounding took Campbell’s ideas
fanzine art very often. Hardly ever, really. at face value. Plenty of people, fans or not,
Ulrika: I am forced to conclude that you thought those ideas were preposterous
either don’t read This Here... or you don’t pseudoscience at the time. And even with half a
look at the pictures. TH... is positively century gone by, plenty of people believe in
chockablock with watercolors, at least in those pseudoscience still. I’ll leave it for Gary Farber,
issues where Nic runs illos by, er, me. should he decide to read something other than
Andy Porter was not the only person to attempt to tweets and Facebook posts, to give you book,
defend Ulrika and fanzine fandom at chapter, and verse.
File770.com; Ken Josenhans also made a couple Nic: Citing Farber always brings to mind
of posts, and I feebly tried to suggest fanzines either or both of the Goon Show sound effect of
were a Good Thing (I chimed in at the end of the stampeding boots running off into the
conversation), but we all were roundly condemned distance in search of brandy, or Graham
for our condescension. Chapman’s King Arthur: “Run away! Run
away!”
Nic: I don’t think it ever works (although it
can be reflexive, and Ghu knows I’ve done it) Pat McMurray’s story of “Dr. Mengele at
to meet condescension with equivalent Octocon” is saddening and maddening. I can’t see
condescension. In effect you’re then playing what the joke was supposed to mean, what was
on enemy ground with the enemy’s choice of supposedly funny about it, or why the jokers only
weapon – and I use the term “enemy” showed chagrin in the moment they thought Pat
guardedly but circumstantially accurately. was Jewish.
Ulrika: I think it’s just further evidence of the
heroically tin ears of the respondents at File Ulrika: Yeah, that whole episode was
770 that they accused you, of all people, Jerry, mysterious. The ‘joke’ was stupid, unfunny,
of condescension. I’m not sure I know anyone and deeply childish. Luckily, that’s the first
more anxious to appease all interlocutors. and last time anyone in fandom has opted for
the deeply childish approach.
I think naming awards (scholarships, buildings,
Say, I know the Boiled in Lead song that “The
etc) after people has pitfalls, and in today’s culture
Facebook Algorithm” is built on. Nice job.
the pits have sharp stakes.
Ulrika: Thank you! I’m glad someone out
Ulrika: Sharp if you (the awarding body)
there had the context. I knew the source was
have a thin skin, mostly. A lot of the

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 SUSCIPE VERBUM

Really Fucking Obscure, but the fit of the hives, and I don’t apply it except when it
alternate lyrics was too good to pass up. actually fits the case, which is rarely.
Leigh reports on the room keys needed to access I don’t recall clearly if I accepted that style of
upper floors in Robin Johnson’s hotel… At the fanzine reviewing as appropriate, although it
San Jose Worldcon a couple of years ago, the could be amusing. One criticism was that it
hotel hosting the party rooms also had this discouraged more people from starting or
arrangement - not only the elevators but the entry continuing to publish than it helped people to
needed a room key to open - but there the hotel improve or to seek out zines new to them.
would NOT unlock the lifts or even the entrance, Ulrika: I very much doubt that anything I do
so volunteers had to monitor the entrance and the or say could discourage John Scalzi the tiniest
elevators to allow attendees to get to the parties. little bit from doing anything at all, but if my
What a pain that was! commentary had the effect of dissuading pros
Ulrika: As I write this, we don’t yet know who don’t do any fanac from arrogating fan
how this very type of limitation will play out Hugos to themselves by dint of having a large
in Vancouver for Corflu Pangloss, though the and devoted personal fan base, I would take
Sands has been very accommodating so far. that as a good thing. A very fucking good
Fingers crossed. thing. So if you’re trying to convince me that
the KTF approach was misguided, you’ve
As is often the case with Andy Hooper’s plays, I definitely picked the wrong argument.
found myself gauging how many fannish Nothing hilarious, Nic, in seeming to define
references I got, how well I tracked the parallels fannish fanzines as “not useful” because I was
with 1984, and, in this case, how many of the trying to explain what the Hugo voters voted for,
deleted songs I’d heard of. and why. Judging by the winners in the fanzine
I enjoyed Steve Jeffery’s Corflu report, especially category, at least, they seem to prefer zines that
the bits wherein his seven year old brain tried to have a direct and obvious connection to the SF
understand Eternity, and his visit, with others, to genre, and that gives them information. (That’s
the Museum of Visionary Arts (official name, per not my main criterion for what I would consider
their website, is American Visionary Art best.) I can’t comment in detail about either The
Museum).. I’ve always had the same problem with Drink Tank or Emerald City, as I read neither of
the concept of Eternity, and I’ll bet the artists them with any regularity, but the few issues I saw
whose work is in that museum also grappled with either concentrated on a movie or movie subgenre
it. (My idea of Eternity is that it’s a single endless (Drink Tank) or reviews and commentary on
moment without detectable duration - yes, a time current events and conventions (Emerald City),
paradox.) IIRC.
It’s just my imagination, but I think that in the Ulrika, I think “reach” is a factor, although I
movie version of her life, Mary Gentle could be doubt it’s the only factor. It’s hard, probably
played by Emma Thompson. impossible, to look back at fanzine nominees and
Nic: I wonder what Mary thinks of that idea. see if the winners had significantly larger
circulations than the runners-up most of the time.
Regarding what I saw as undue harshness of your
Scalzi roast, Ulrika, you claim KTF privilege. Ulrika: I don’t think it would be that hard to
assess relative distribution of nominees in lots
Ulrika: Nerp. I claim many things, but of cases. But you’re missing an entire
“privilege” is not among them. Thanks to category of fanzines (and fan writers, and fan
flagrant abuse by idiots, that word gives me artists, which is more what I was thinking of)

37
 SUSCIPE VERBUM

– i.e. the zines, writers, and artists that don’t the internet in a given year, irrespective of
ever or often even make the short list, despite whether they are writing to, for, about, or
excellent quality of output. And while it is even in awareness of, Science Fiction or its
not uniformly the case that excellent fanac fandom. I become deeply tempted to start a
that’s overlooked is also of limited series of monkey warfare pranks involving
availability, I’d say it’s true of the majority of getting ever more ridiculous non-fan
cases. “fanwriters” stuffed onto the Hugo ballot.
Should we start with Queen Elizabeth?
While we’re all feting her memory anyway,
might as well get her a fanwriter Hugo as
well.

David Redd
Many thanks for BEAM 16, astoundingly good-
looking yet again, and some fascinating reading
for which I made notes even more indecipherable
than usual. I gather that I was interested in the
brontosaurus revisionism, which showed our
world to be as mutable as Philip K Dick
perceived. Tuvan throat singers were once a
distant rarity, but now they’re everywhere. A few
years back the same things happened to Andean
panpipes.
Ulrika: The sudden efflorescence of Andean
pan pipe music makes some degree of sense to
me, given the influx of Peruvian musicians
I really agree with you both, Nic and Ulrika, into the busking scene of various metroplexes.
about what fan writing is, but as we’ve been going I don’t think I ever heard Tuvan buskers,
on about the Hugos, which evidently we all care though, so presumably that’s not how their
about even if we don't take direct part in the music achieved its sudden burst of
process, here's what the WSFS constitution says: mindshare. While Sturgeon’s law applies to
“3.3.16: Best Fan Writer. Any person whose ethnic music as well as anything else, I was
writing has appeared in semiprozines or fanzines very pleased with the (re?)naissance of pan
or in generally available electronic media during pipe music in anglophone countries. I love
the previous calendar year.” There’s nothing the plaintive, mournful vocal quality of the
pipes, particularly when it’s deployed as a foil
subjective here, like there is in our preferred
to a cheerful melody. The counterpoint
definition. creates a feeling that even in great joy weaves
Ulrika: Yes, it’s inarguable that this is the a thread of pending sorrow. That tension
official definition. But my point, in case it speaks to me on a deep level.
was previously too subtle(!), is that it’s a As for Erle Stanley Gardner and your title for
terrible definition. It functionally includes him this issue, I have found (but cannot trace) a
everyone who ever wrote anything put out on reference to the numerous expendable fatalities in

38
 SUSCIPE VERBUM

an old TV detective series as “Cannon Fodder”. “Quantify” but also be able to judge how
Apt in your case and that. Apologies for not trustworthy those numbers are. (Something
joining in the conversation on Firefly/wokeness, Sagan really ought to have added, although you
but in my distanced way (hermit in the country, could argue they are covered by his last couple of
remember) I’m too remote from current points.) But I’m a stats nerd, and Speigelhalter
sociological phenomena to do more than note and Tim Harford - along with the late Hans
their occurrence – and for some vocabulary I Roslin and the Rev. Thomas Bayes - are high on
again need a translation before I can appreciate my go-to list for making sense of numbers.
your dialectic. Oh well. “Capsule Lovecraft This looks a fascinating, and sizeable, issue, and
fandom description” was noteworthy. No note it's going to take me a while to work through it.
for Sandra Bond’s tour de force? Should have
Tommy, I did warn you about Rich Coad’s
been. Clearly, I was so overawed and overcome
unerring ability to channel the competitive spirit
by enjoyment that the pen slipped from my
and last second buzzer reflex of Paul Merton in
helpless fingers. My last note, “p67 illo”, means I
Just a Minac. Note to self: do not try to play
liked it.
competitive board games with Rich. There will
be blood.
Steve Jeffery Nic: Having been the inaugural winner of
That is a splendid editorial from Ulrika. I felt/ ‘Just A Minac’, and having seen how
feel the same confusion and anxiety when things aggressively and brilliantly it’s come along, I
I thought I knew or learned as solid fact suddenly am minded to retire undefeated. Rich
change or disappear. I’d probably feel even more complained (but not too vigorously) after that
beset if failing memory didn’t cast a vague fog first episode that I had unfairly handicapped
him by plying him generously with Bulleit
over what some of these old certainties used to be
whiskey throughout, and there’s much truth
before they came back wearing new names and in that.
faces. Sometimes age has odd benefits in that it
can teach an old dog new tricks if they have Glad you enjoyed your time at Corflu Heatwave,
forgotten what the old trick used to be. But at the but really how could you - or anyone else - not in
same time, it is the things you remember from a small and fan friendly con. Good to see you
long back (like the Brontosaurus) that tend to again at Concorde too.
stick and serve to throw you off kilter. Just lay From which comes Sandra’s illustrated(?) GOH
your hands off Triceratops I say. That was always speech ‘Fandom Considered as a 1966 Two-Tone
my favourite. Triumph Herald’. I did briefly consider opting
out of the draw again this year, but having done
Ulrika: Triceratops was dead good, yeah.
it the last couple of times I decided what the hell,
I saw a book on a library shelf this morning titled if it comes I might just remember enough to
Living with Uncertainty, by Susan Jeffers, and rather wing it. Maybe not wise, but having a speech
wished I’d taken it out for a browse now. It might typed out in double spaced to go with a
have helped. (I had gone in to return James PowerPoint slideshow doesn’t quite seem to be in
Young's Nico: The Songs They Don't Play on the the spirit of Corflu. And in the event I’m not
Radio). On the way out I found a new book by entirely convinced Rob would be able to navigate
David Speigelhalter and took that out instead, so and cue PowerPoint slides on his laptop.
I can at least apply this to Sagan’s advice

39
 SUSCIPE VERBUM

Ulrika: I have great faith in Rob

Jackson’s technical savvy. And
while it may not have been him,
someone surely ran PowerPoint
slides for us during the
presentation of Corflu Pangloss’
bid at Concorde.
I must get a laptop sometime.
Although my 1996 Sony Vaio still -sort
of- works, it can hardly be classed as
portable (luggable maybe). But then
it’s taken me more than three years to
finally get round to buying my own
PC, especially as it was more
convenient to use the work laptop
while working from home over the last
two and a half years, at least up to the
point IT locked its ability to connect to anything each other, but you know it it might be a good
outside the company domain.) But given that idea to have some form of mutual recognition
Corflu has a small and relatively static system when meeting fans for the first time. Like, I
membership, an increasing number of whom are dunno, some form of obviously recognisable t-
ineligible for the dubious honour of the GOH shirt, or a rolled up copy of Warhoon 28.
spot having already been selected in past years, Ulrika: Yes, Steve Glover used a similar trick
there must come a time when it comes down to when I arrived in Edinburgh, which worked
the single remaining eligible candidate. And then quite well. He was flourishing a copy of
what? Robert Parker’s novel, The Widening Gyre,
I did particularly like Sandra’s observation about which was also the title of my fanzine at the
time.
the fragmentation of fandoms: “We got comics
fandom - their car was quite like the first one but Given Ulrika’s knowledge of the UK from old TV
painted brighter.” and “We got Lovecraft fandom shows, it's a wonder she wasn’t more nervous
- their car had an interesting hollow knocking about coming to a country where people in small
sound from the engine, and their hood ornament English villages are murdered at an alarming rate
was a bit awful.” which I thought was pretty neat until the culprit is finally uncovered by a little old
for something apparently made up off the cuff. lady. It’s for similar reasons that I’ve decided to
avoid visiting bridges in Scandinavia.
Like Ulrika, Rob and I had communicated only
via a series of text-only emails up to the point he Ulrika: No need to be nervous if one is
said would pick me up from Dulles arrival lounge advisedly cautious. I simply didn’t visit any
on my trip to Corflu FIAWOL with a vague small villages.
description to look out for an “oldish guy with a I must check out some of those Pre-Raphaelite
white beard”. Who was terribly confused when I painters Ulrika mentions since I only really know
introduced myself, and denied all knowledge of about Artemisia and a couple of others from a
being either a Rob or indeed a Jackson or wanting series of post that Tiga has put up on Facebook. I
to meet me. Some people. We did eventually find think it was at the Birmingham Museum of Art

40
 SUSCIPE VERBUM

that I stood in front of an apocalyptic painting by Leigh Edmonds

Mad John Martin for about 10 minutes, There’s no need to apologize, Ulrika, about Beam
completely transfixed. (I did the same when seeing being late. Most fans have excuses much less
an actual Jackson Pollock work at the Philadelphia compelling than yours, or no excuse at all.
Museum of Art and completely revising any
preconceptions I had picked from ‘Jack the Ulrika: Oh, sure, I know, but realize too that
there are certain Fannish Traditions to be
Dripper’ documentaries. Ditto Duchamp's ‘Nude
upheld, at least occasionally, and surely
Descending a Staircase No. 2’ in the same gallery.) wasting a few column inches making excuses
Ulrika: It is startling how powerful some about Why This Zine Is Late is a tradition of
artworks turn out to be in person. I never very long standing. It also allows the writer,
believed the frequent claim that photos can’t if she is so inclined, to invite the reader into
convey the impact of a painting until I met my the quotidian impedimenta of her life a little,
first Van Gogh at the Getty Museum as it without having to resort to some sort of full-
then was. The painting poleaxed me. I blown and tedious diary zine.
stopped in my tracks, rooted to the spot and I don’t know about others but I’m delighted to get
dumb with awe and wonder, for I don’t know a copy of your BFF no matter when it arrives.
how many minutes. I have been a devoted Among other things, it restores my faith in fankind
Van Gogh fan ever since, but I don’t have any
and the ability of fans to be entertaining,
prints of his work on display. Prints are too
disappointing to bother with. thoughtful and artistic all at the same time.
My prog rock philistine eye is drawn to the flowers Ulrika: Aw, thank you. That’s kind.
behind Stokes’ Madonna and wonder if it is If I may, I thought the highlight of this issue was
indeed Giant Hogweed. your TAFF report, Ulrika. You tell us that writing
(I nearly snorted my morning coffee the first time is difficult for you but the writing in this report
I heard Lauren Laverne announce Stuart suggests otherwise.
Maconie’s and Mark Riley’s radio show as Ulrika: Writing for me is more slow and
“immune to all our herbicidal batterings”.) punctuated than precisely difficult. I can
I don’t know when it changed, but in Victorian certainly string together a sentence pretty
times, pink was held to be the stronger colour and easily. Getting to the right words, and
assembling them in the right order,
more appropriate for boys while the softer blue particularly if I’m working toward making a
more suitable for girls. I don’t know if this is why particular argument, that’s what takes
the Victorian's poster-child, Alice, is typically thought, time, craft, and blood on the page. If
depicted as dressed in blue, or at what point pink the result looks fluid and effortless, if the
became regarded the more ‘feminine’ colour. transitions make sense and the humorous
Thank you both, Leigh and Tommy, for the kind beats land correctly, that means I struggled
comments on my trip report. long and hard to get it that way. Most of the
time, I only get part way there. My writing
I was discussing Mary Gentle’s work with involves a lot of thinking and reading and
someone (Jerry Kaufman, I think, in Littlebrook) a reordering to achieve the overall shape I want,
little while ago, which prompted me to retrieve and then, as Nic will tell you through gritted
Ilario:The Lion's Eye from the shelf for a re-read teeth, nearly endless small revisions to get to a
alongside here newest one, Black Opera. final version. In which I will then spot further
necessary revisions only after everything has
already gone Orff to the printer. Everything I

41
 SUSCIPE VERBUM

do is a work in progress, but eventually Nic them, thanks for that. I enjoyed the first book
rips it out of my hands and calls time. immensely but would prefer, I think, the sense of
Nic: What teeth? wonder that Clarke created in that first volume
which does not, it seems, follow through so
Or perhaps it is that your difficulty with words strongly in the following volumes. The other
means that you work harder at knocking them contributions were also interesting and/or
into shape than most of us do and the results are entertaining but do not inspire any comments
excellent. There are many highlights to your from me. Apart from, of course, Stacey Tappan’s
report but the one that comes to mind most piece which is truly dreadful in the sense that it is
readily as a really good example of writing is about something dreadful. The actions of The
description of your feelings about Birmingham. I Met illustrate, among other things, what happens
don’t know whether I now want to avoid the place when you place the arts in the hands of the money
or go and have a look for myself just to see if it is lenders.
as you described it. (I’m guessing that you wrote
this some time ago, either than or the notes you I did think, Nic, that you went off like a fire
took at the time must be voluminous - or you have cracker about Farah Mendlesohn’s off the cuff
an amazing memory. I tried to think what I was comment. It did not occur to me that it was the
doing in 1998, possibly working on a book about put-down that you seemed to take it for. There
power stations but maybe not.) are quite a few tv shows I've seen that I could
make the same glib comment about, but perhaps
Ulrika: Bits were certainly written right at the key phrase was her “recognized what I was
the time, mostly in the form of disconnected watching” which might suggest that she is of a
notes, anecdotes, and episodes. My notes from higher intellectual level than the rest of us. Still, I
the time are in fact voluminous. The raw
material I’m extracting these TAFF chapters know capitalist propaganda when I see it, there’s
from runs over 70 pages, closely typed. So I an amazing amount of it on the media but I don't
have lots of fresh impressions to draw on. And know that I need to go into chapter and verse
of course, Google Street View is my friend when saying why I don’t watch most of it.
when it comes to reminding myself of Perhaps my problem here is that I don’t know
locational details that have long since lost what Firefly is, found The Dukes of Hazzard so
their brightness in memory. silly that I don’t recall watching more than one
Then there was Sandra Bond’s GoH speech from episode and don’t know who Farah Mendlesohn
Corflu. It’s a better way of describing the changes is. So perhaps I should be more circumspect. Or
that have taken place in fandom than anything perhaps your complaint is that her comment was
else I’ve seen so I will use it in the future if anyone glib and in unpacking it you have discovered
asks me for an explanation. Lucy Huntzinger’s things that you don’t agree with. That’s okay, but
contribution was another great piece of writing I cannot imagine that there is anyone among us
which made me feel somehow deprived that I who has not made similar short hand comments
have not gone on that voyage of exploration to from time to time. I’ll plead guilty anyhow.
find something of my identity, but on the other Your editorial, Ulrika, is very clearly and
hand I am more than a little relieved that I have eloquently argued. I guess that what you wrote
not had to. Lee Wood’s contribution is very needs to be expressed to folks who do not
evocative but also makes me glad that I don’t live understand that all knowledge is provisional, but
on a farm. Jane Carnall’s long exposition on the perhaps people who do not understand that would
Rama books now means that I don’t have to read

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be difficult - if not impossible - to argue against as war must have been like for those who had fought
you have here. Good luck with that. for the losing side. Fair enough. But it’s a long
Apart from some excellent and thought provoking way from speculating about the experience of the
writing this issue of BEAM also looked great. losers in a rebellion to writing the world of Firefly
The cover and the back cover are lovely, as are as exactly analogous to Reconstruction-era
most of the interior illustrations. I think that the America. The analogy fails almost wherever you
effort you’ve both put into this issue pays off very look. Supposing that the show is some sort of
handsomely and I thank you for including me in apologia for the Confederate cause is not justified
your mailing list. by cues internal to the show, or the world it
imagines. There is zero indication that the
Browncoats were fighting for the preservation of
slavery or the justification of human chattel, yet
surely that ought to be central to any vindication
of the Confederacy? As Allison Douglass
observes, the core planets and their various
practices of treating human beings as cattle would
be a far better analog to the Confederacy. Neither
is that other salient feature of Confederate
ideology – virulent anti-Black racism – plausible
in the racially mixed composition of Browncoat
troops or the crew of the Serenity. Even the claim
that the imagery of the show is somehow derived
from that of the CSA seems strained to me.
But Farah Mendlesohn’s reaction to the show
strikes me as symptomatic of the woke response to
Ulrika O’Brien “problematic” content. It’s also reminiscent of
It’s not typical for an editor to write letters of the way certain kinds of fundamentalist Baptists
comment to their own fanzine, I guess. But I and Pentecostals will withdraw their children from
write comments when I want to take part in the public schools, or homeschool them from the
conversation, and at least in writing to BEAM I outset, lest they absorb the heresies of sex
feel I have a fair chance of getting into the letter education or evolutionary biology. Clearly, they
column, rather than simply winding up down the fear the arguments of their faith are so
oubliette. As I particularly wanted to make some insupportable that they couldn’t withstand even
observations on Nic’s editorial in #16, this seemed mild critical scrutiny or comparison to alternative
like the most equitable way to do it – putting me theories. And perhaps they’re right.
on even footing with other correspondents, rather John McWhorter has recently been flakking his
than taking advantage of my privileged status as book, Woke Racism, in which he argues that
co-editor. wokeness should be understood as a literal
So, Firefly as parable of the aftermath of the religion. He says it’s a religion based on structural
American Civil War: Joss Whedon has apparently similarities between wokeness and organized
said many times in interviews that he was inspired religion, especially Christianity. Wokeness believes
by reading a book about the Civil War and by in original sin, that cannot be wiped away: white
subsequently speculating about what life after the privilege. Wokeness holds its tenets sacrosanct

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and rejects any possibility that they might be in other hand was considered not very tough at all
error, or subject to factual falsification. Wokeness due to an association with flowers and birds and
is certain of its own moral purity to the extent of the French (typical English bias you understand).
justifying harm to heretics who question its beliefs Prussian blue was alright but that’s because the
or methods. Wokeness has a great love of casting Prussians used a very dark blue to clothe their
the tainted and impure forever into the outer soldiers and such a dark blue is a very intimidating
darkness, and this, too, has echoes in Farah’s colour when combined with a few muskets and
behavior profile. I suspect that Farah is very much bayonets. The French under Napoleon on the
an acolyte of this new religion, and as with any other hand used a much paler shade which looked
religious fanatic, argument is going to be a waste very festive, even when combined with a few
of your time. In fact, part of McWhorter’s point muskets and bayonets. Oh, and while red was
in calling wokeism a religion is to help potential considered too common for street wear it was also
interlocutors understand that productive considered very martial which is why hunting
exchanges are simply not possible when talking to parties adopted red for their outfits.
the woke. So while a pisstake of Farah may And that’s why English police were known as
provide you with a momentary satisfaction, it’s not lobsters. Of course the English didn’t want to be
going to change any minds, particularly hers. saddled with a police force because the French
Just wanted to toss that pebble into the pond of already had a police force. The reason usually
discourse. Otherwise, keep up the good work, given for disliking the French model was a fear of
guys. BEAM shows promise of becoming a pretty the police being used as spies and informers as it
decent fanzine someday. was claimed they were used in France. I suspect
this merely hid a dislike for the French. Anyway,
Nic: We’re working on that.
when the constabulary were introduced into
Signed, England it was decided to uniform them in blue
Ulrika O’Brien, flippant tosspot rather than military red so they would not be seen
as a symbol of brutal military oppression
belonging to the crown (it had become a very
Kim Huett
English hobby to not entirely trust whoever was
On the topic of pink it might be worth on the throne, which is why during the
considering the fact that back in the day it was Napoleonic Wars the King’s German Legion
pink for boys and blue for girls. Pink was hadn’t been allowed to ever enter Britain).
considered a manly colour due to an association However many Englishmen didn’t trust that the
with flesh and blood. Pink was the perfect new formed police wouldn't be used for brutal
compromise because it was considered one of the oppression if push came to shove. Consequently it
hot, fierce colours but not lower class like red was said that constables were like lobsters, blue
(which was forever tainted in Edwardian eyes by now but put them in hot water and they would
being the colour used for the coats of common soon turn red. However once people became used
soldiers). Purple was not an option as purple was to policemen in their blue uniforms it’s likely their
the royal colour, and orange was right out due to presence influenced people into thinking of blue
an association in English minds with the as a more masculine colour and helped the sexual
Netherlands, an association considered colour inversion to occur. So what do you think of
problematic by some people for reasons I don’t that?
have the strength to go into right now. Blue on the

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Ulrika: Well, it’s a very anglocentric account what she’d meant was that she was born in the
of why the colors switched gender Austro-Hungarian Empire, and in reality was
associations, and as far as I can tell, the flip probably Romanian. I am reminded of an old
was more broadly adopted than that, even in joke, from the Soviet Union era -- “Where were
places outside the British sphere of influence, you born?” “St. Petersburg.” “Where did you
so I think it might need further thought. grow up?” “Petrograd.” “Where do you live
now?” “Leningrad.” “And where would you like
Eli Cohen to live?” “St. Petersburg.”
Re Nic’s editorial: Gee, I watched Firefly and Leigh Edmonds, re our fandom vs others, and
never realized that it supported slavery and what to do about attracting newcomers: One of
unfairly represented the good-guy Alliance as evil. my regrets about the recent Worldcon was not
I just thought it was an outer-space Western (like getting to talk to John Hertz for more than 5
an SF version of horse opera; hey, maybe we minutes, as he was apparently working on a plan
could call it, um, “space opera”? Nah, never to deal with this problem. When I think about my
catch on). With as little to do with the American history and that of some Pittsburgh and Ottawa
Civil War as, say, “The Rebel”, a TV western friends, it seems to me that college SF clubs were
series from the early ‘60s about an ex-Confederate an important entry point (said clubs having a
soldier -- oh, wait... member or two, maybe a founder, who had at
least a peripheral connection to fandom at large)
Re Ulrika’s editorial: It is, indeed, crazy how facts
-- which encouraged groups of proto-fans to go to
keep changing out from under you, like Pluto
nearby cons, thereby having a chance to get
going from being the ninth planet to the eighth
infected by meeting people at parties; or being
planet (1979-1999) to not being a planet at all;
given fanzines; or even *gasp* joining the N3F! I
continents suddenly starting to drift apart in the
guess being “given a fanzine” today would be
1950s; humans losing 2 of their 48 chromosomes
someone texting you a URL... Also, the isolated,
in 1956; etc., etc.
secret SF reader of yore, desperate to find others
Ulrika: Wait, we had 48 chromosome pairs in who shared their vice, is long gone -- how many
the 1950s? Now we’ve only got 43? Someone people these days haven’t heard of Star Wars or
call the cops! We’ve been robbed! George R.R. Martin or hobbits? (And how many
Compared to this, country names
appearing and disappearing are
relatively minor, though they caused my
uncle no end of problems trying to
renew his passport -- see, he was born in
Czechoslovakia, but the U.S.
government demands that the country
of birth on your passport be a real
country when you renew, and he had no
idea which side of the Czech Republic/
Slovakia border he'd actually been born
on (he was three, by the way, when he
came to the U.S.). Meanwhile, I’d
always thought that my grandmother
(his mother) was Hungarian, but actually

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people today would even understand the meaning feeling the object at hand, its wraparound cover
of “that crazy Buck Rogers stuff ”?) I expect straining to contain the cornucopia of writing and
today’s college SF club members, if there are art within, brings it to life in a way no digital
such, would also be game, anime, and comic book image can. It’s the difference between an airport –
fans, with far too many conventions to choose a space intended to hustle the travelling pawns
from, tons of friends, thousands of e-zines to swiftly by, while mulcting them of as much money
follow... OK, boomer. as possible – and a vast urban train center of the
time of early fandom and before: a monument to
Ulrika: Not only do we have the
mainstreaming of every form of fantastic the significance of travel, or travelers, and of their
literature and media to get lost in, but perhaps possibilities.
more significantly, we’re up against a vast Ulrika: I am now envisioning the hard copy
proliferation of places and ways to connect of BEAM as a sort of Old Penn Station of a
with people who share your interests, pretty fanzine, and that may be unreasonably
much all of which give instant gratification in egotistical and grandiose of me, but fuckit, I
terms of response. If you’re cruising for the love the image.
dopamine hit of people responding to what you
write, waiting for someone to send a letter of Print zines, however unfashionable they may be,
comment or write a flattering review doesn’t do things e-zines cannot, and editors such as
even raise a flutter. What we do here, while yourselves have made much of the fact. BEAM is
deeper and more thoughtful (I think) than an admirable companion to William Breiding’s
pretty much anything posted on Twitter ever, Portable Storage and John Coker and Jon Swartz’s
simply can’t compete in terms of speed. First Fandom Annual as what I often call a
I could go on, but another stupid fanzine “sumptuous” zine. To paraphrase Hegel: The
appeared in my mailbox, by someone claiming to swan of extravagance strides forth only with the
be “Nic Farey”, and I feel I should at least look at twilight of print.
it, even though it’s probably spam. Anyway, I Writing LoCs on something I’ve already reviewed
enjoyed BEAM (must mention the lovely cover by is something of a challenge, since the review itself
Jeanne Gomoll; and I really liked Ulrika’s p. 59 is in essence a LoC published outside the
and p. 64 illos -- something about their view of publication being discussed. Fortunately, said
mountains across the water gets to me; I hope to cornucopia is abristle with other comment hooks,
see the view across English Bay in March, for the a couple of which I will utilize.
first time in over 40 years). Nic’s opening salvo struck the target squarely.
Ulrika: Time passed; things happened, and Some years ago I saw all fourteen episodes of
March became October, but we still look Firefly in the course of less than a week thanks to
forward to meeting in person on the shores of two students in a class I was teaching who forcibly
English Bay. loaned the box set to me. I really enjoyed two or
three episodes, generally enjoyed three or four
Justin E.A. Busch more, and didn’t dislike any of the others,
although they didn’t especially engage my interest.
Many thanks for the print copies of BEAM 15 At no time, despite my childhood having been
and 16. The physical presence of a zine does spent in Nashville, Tennessee, did I think anything
make a difference; an e-zine, however well done, is about the Confederacy, especially as a reason for
simply a flat thing on a screen, all too similar to so refusing to watch any further episodes. Oh, and
many other flat things on screens. Seeing and

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the course I was teaching? American History 2 Oddly enough, one of those exceptions, if only
(1789-1900) which does indeed touch upon a little partly, is Rendezvous With Rama (1973), the first
thing called the Civil War. But, you see, I did not novel in what became the series, which Carnall
have the advantage of Farah Mendlesohn having discusses mostly in passing. The book could hardly
given me the proper party line so that I could stop be described as balanced in its use of male and
thinking and simply respond as required. It rather female characters, but it is possible to see Clarke,
reminds me of those Cardinals who were reputed who had been writing for some decades before
to have refused to look through Galileo’s telescope creating the novel, making some genuine efforts to
because they already knew what they would see overcome his own past. That his success is limited
(Western Civ 1 (3000BC-1517), another course I does not diminish the value of the effort.
taught at the time). Nic: We could make comparisons with
The saddest thing here is that such blunt Asimov’s later attempts to include a bit of
dismissals for such banal reasons are not only the nooky in his work. His notable creation, Susan
antithesis of honest criticism, they forestall their Calvin, was depicted as sexless and
own purpose. We cannot improve our indubitably unapproachable, the jarring exception of the
biased (mis)understandings unless we get to short story ‘Liar!’ notwithstanding. Yet that’s
also a robot story that could have a deeper
witness the examination, and join the
analysis in that the woman (Calvin) is
conversation, which demonstrates both the bias depicted incongruously as pathetically weak
and its potential harm. Otherwise, s Nic pointed and susceptible, and the poor conflicted robot
out, what’s left is “arguments […] getting gets a lot more sympathy from the author than
presumptively solved in a fleeting fashion – actual she does.
analysis and thoughtful discussion […] going out
We meet Surgeon Commander Laura Ernst in an
of style in favor of sloganeering”. Let’s raise the ostensibly humorous manner, which I recall
slogan for the cadres, “Down With Sloganeering!” thinking awkward when I first read the book in
Oh, wait a minute… 1974. “Some women, Commander Norton had
Ulrika: Ah, Justin, I am on the verge of decided long ago, should not be allowed aboard
making you a declaration of undying love, just ship; weightlessness did things to their breasts that
now, and it isn’t only because you say such were too damn distracting.” It turns out also that
perceptive nice things about my art and he and Ernst have a history: “…in a moment of
writing, elsewhere. mutual loneliness and depression they had once
I praised Jane Carnall’s tour through the made love” (the sex part). But she did not get
Ramaverse in Fanfaronade [column] 17, but only pregnant, and it seems unlikely they will “repeat
briefly; it deserves further consideration. the experience”. (Astronauts are sterilized to
“When men write stories about women”, Carnall prevent mutations; there are women astronauts;
points out, “the women have sex (usually with presumably the same procedures for storing eggs
men) and get pregnant (mostly by men). Men who as those for storing sperm are in effect. Norton has
write novels about men do not in general focus two wives and three children, whose existence
much of the plot on whether the man is sexually seems mainly a method of giving him an
attractive, or whether he will succeed in having emotional connection to life on Earth; if there is
children.” Of course there are exceptions, but any mention of polygamy being limited to males, I
they are fewer than the norm Carnall depicts, and could neither recall nor find it). After that, Ernst is
often serve mainly to highlight their own treated quite seriously; she, the chief medical
exceptionality. officer, has virtually absolute veto power over crew

47
 SUSCIPE VERBUM

involvement in the exploration, something Such are the women of significance on the Rama
accepted as normal by all, and is herself deeply exploration team (the two wives and Dr. Thelma
involved in that exploration. Price, a member of the Rama committee, appear
Sergeant Ruby Barnes, the other crew member briefly but with minimal import). The two women
treated at length, avoids sexual humor altogether are outnumbered by the simps, genetically
as she is introduced; her quirk is an emphasis on modified monkeys which perform much of the
boats as cultural indicators: “You can learn routine work aboard ship, but their presence has
everything about a culture by studying the way it far more significance. It is this which is key.
builds boats”. The idea is not widely shared, yet There is no condescension here. Both women are
neither is it dismissed; “Her colleagues thought professionals, and both take charge when the area
this rather a restricted point of view, but at least it of investigation intersects with their professional
was a stimulating one.” Her expertise proves capacity. No-one objects; Clarke does not gin up
useful in designing the raft needed to explore the artificial tensions by having some minor male
Raman waters, and she takes command of the character reveal that his parents owned a sailboat
process. “No one thought it in the least peculiar and he thus feels privileged to take charge, or any
that an executive sergeant was now taking charge other such nonsense. True professionals, Clarke is
of the proceedings. Ruby Barnes had the only saying, recognize the qualifications of other
master’s certificate aboard; so that settled the professionals and spend no time defending their
matter.” own egos at the expense of mission success. The
captain and crew of the Endeavour,
men and women alike, are trained,
and operate, as a team. Carnall,
referring to Rudyard Kipling’s
strictures upon a polo team in ‘The
Maltese Cat’ (from The Day’s Work,
1898) – “a team of crack players
rather than a crack team” – later
reminds us that of the Rama II’s
exploratory group only sex out of
twelve return alive. No one dies in
Rendezvous With Rama.
Lurking alongside her specific
critique is one of the great
problems with too much science
fiction, especially that by men: that
almost everything in it, including
the characters, is silently treated as
basically a piece of technology to
be used in the service of the
operant power structure’s ambitions
and goals. Perhaps this is indeed the
way the future will, or even must,
be if humanity is to survive (see, for

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example, Robert Heilbroner’s An Inquiry into the LoC: “WAHF Justin E.A. Busch, who offered to
Human Prospect (1974, mark the date), which make BEAM 17 make Outworlds 71 look like an
considers the likely need for an authoritarian infinitesimag. We passed on the offer.” I’d best
political structure to overcome the dangers of send this one anyway, les the third be even more
global warming and other environmental long-winded.
degradation. Heilbroner does not like the idea, Well, anyway, BEAM 16 is a fine contribution to
but considers it thoughtfully, dispassionately and the art and practice of fanzines, and I thank you
disturbingly plausibly.) But the point must be and your authors for it.
demonstrated, not merely assumed, lest all we
have is the Farah Mendlesohn approach writ large
by the party. Perry Middlemiss
Carnall’s critique is all the more devastating As the late, lamented Warren Z said in his song
because we have already seen the same author ‘Monkey Wash, Donkey Rinse’: “Hell is only half
portray two women who are indeed intent upon full/Room for you and me.” Near the end of my
understanding the universe and whose working life I could see the writing on the wall and
contributions to developing that understanding figured the time was rapidly approaching when I
are both vital and utterly independent of sexuality, would be hauled up before the thought police over
childbearing or even gender. I hesitate to blame something or other that I had said, and end up in
Gentry Lee; perhaps Clarke’s attitudes had Warren’s hell. I had learned early on that the only
changed in sixteen years. But Carnall’s points are jokes worth telling in a workplace were those
decisive: the flaw at the core of the three Rama where you were the only one appearing as the
sequels is that the authors “could not bring source of amusement. I knew I was in trouble
themselves to write a novel, still less a trilogy, when people got upset about those as well. I’m not
about a woman whose drive is to understand the only unreconstructed but totally unreconstructable
universe”. The shame, one touched upon but not I think. Hell is other people, especially those who
developed by Carnall, is that a central aspect of take “offence” on other people's behalf.
the disappointing aspects of the Rama sequels is Nic: I’ve noticed that there’s plenty of people
that they are regressive; contrary to the earlier who will bray that “Only [name an oppressed
novel, the depiction of women in the later ones all minority here] should speak for [the oppressed
too eagerly uses them as, in effect, machines for minority]” yet unaware of the utter irony of it
breeding, breeding made necessary by the lack of all, they presume to do so for [said oppressed
the consistent and coherent professionalism we minority].
had seen sixteen years earlier. The irony is clear: My wife has recently been to a few workplace
in novels supposedly about the expansion of training sessions where she was reliably informed
human possibility, their relation to their own that she wasn’t allowed to compliment someone
predecessor undercuts their central thesis: that on their new dress - reason given: you’re only
such progress is possible. saying this because the person wearing the group
Oh dear – my cacoethes scribendi has led me astray is of a different ethnic grouping from you and
for a second time. (The first version of this LoC you’re now just being demeaning. The fact that
began with a brief response to Nic’s take on Perry you might actually like the dress is beside the
Mason, a brief response which proved to be point. And, as for food, it now seems to be an act
nearly as long as this letter.) I can see the comment of cultural appropriation to pay less for, say,
now, should I combine the two into a jumbo-sized Vietnamese food than you would for French or

49
 SUSCIPE VERBUM

Italian. The fact that we’re Australian and, as all William Breiding
right-thinking Westerners know, “we don't have no I was resolved to loc this ish. But immediately a
bloody culcha, mate.” So we have to appropriate conundrum appeared. How do I approach BEAM
someone’s. Anyone’s. 16? A brash bray or something more measured?
Not that this has anything at all to do with Do I loc it in parts, as I was tempted, or as a
FIREFLY of course. But as I haven’t ever seen an whole, so I know what was attempted and
episode of that show I figured slagging off my achieved? In the end I chose to read the issue
own countrymen was a possible alternative. sequentially to see what it was you’d done.
Poor old Martin Tudor indeed. I was on my Overarching comments: if I had not received the
DUFF trip in 1996 when he was in the US on his apparently rare hard copy (for which you are both
TAFF journey. And what a journey that was. How blessed for sacrificing hard-earned cash) I’m pretty
he made it through to the end I’ll never know. sure BEAM 16 would have had less of an impact.
True grit and fannish perseverance and generosity Like Leigh Edmonds, my reactions to on-screen
I reckon. He did a wonderful job in the and hard copy are very different.
circumstances. The temptation to skip, skim, generally be
flippant, and often ultimately ignore, applies to the
Loccloud by worditout.com digital copy. The gravitas of heft and beauty of
the paper BEAM is harder to stash away in the
pile, easy to take seriously as a whole; it’s all right
there in front of you, screaming. Even if I were to
print it out myself (unlikely) it wouldn’t have that
same wow-oh-wow! effect of 11x17 folded.
While the both of you shine this ish, Ulrika is the
star. The combination of her gorgeous watercolor
paintings, lengthy essays, and pithy reaction to loc-
hacks, earns her the wizard’s hat.
What caused me to originally want to respond to
BEAM in parts was Nic’s opening statements.
Then I read Ulrika’s follow-up and I was ready to
have at you both. But rather than being mired
from the beginning, I moved on to the rest of the
issue, which in its whole had an admirable
intensity.
After I read Lucy Huntzinger’s piece on the quest
for her biological parents I was left musing at how
many adopted friends I’ve known in my life,
wondering if that was just happenstance or
common enough that everyone has adopted
friends. A half-dozen friends have struggled to
come to terms with being adopted. Among them
all their adoption has been a life-long issue, and its
effects can be measured, some major, some minor.

50
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For all it has shaded their psychological more novels in the Rama universe without the
background. Lucy and I never became friends Clarke name attached.
when she returned to San Francisco. The central fannish bits, Tommy, the Lulzine
It was sort of like the consuite at a Corflu; you see review, Sandra’s GoH speech, were all great fun. I
someone across the room and mean to go over kept hearing Sandra’s voice as I was reading,
and talk, spend time, get to know, but it somehow which made me giggle, and Tommy’s honest and
never happens. engaging con report on the precipice of Covid led
A friend emigrated to New Zealand. I used to call me down myriad avenues of why I so frequently
her the “it girl” of Tucson because she always shy from in-person fanac. The Monahan/Hardin
seemed to be at the center of any interesting fanzine review technique is unique, rather like an
happenings with any number of different groups extended loc, rather than a review, and they are
of people, and frequently she was the organizer. always interesting.
So it was with interest that I read Lee Wood’s Another great installment of Ulrika’s TAFF
breezy and enjoyable farm tales. It did lead me to report. I will be looking forward to rereading her
wonder why Lee moved there. (Ah yes, romance!) report in its entirety sometime soon! The high
My friend thought it hilarious that I viewed her as point was Ulrika’s description, interpretation, and
an It Girl when I told her, and asked if being the reaction to the Stokes painting, Madonna and
It Girl of Tucson was what had caused her to run Child, which, indeed, is a beautiful radical work
away to New Zealand, for certainly it must have conceptually undermining The Church. Thanks
been exhausting and attended by a certain for reproducing it here. In the final version of
amount of expectations. While Ingrid was Ulrika’s report it would be great if she were to edit
bemused, she never fully explained her move, out the self conscious conniptions about not
which by now proved permanent. She bought having taken notes and just rely on her memory,
property and has been there for more than a or just make some shit up (or be fantastical), like
decade. the best of the fan writers who have gone before.
The deeper I got into Jane Carnall’s “Reading Ulrika: I feel that self-conscious conniptions
Rama” the odder it all seemed. Not Jane’s piece, are kind of my hallmark, though. If I gave
but the Clarke/Lee Rama books, which I have not them up, there would hardly be much me left
read, and am now unlikely to have even the over to fill a report. But I’ll take the request
vaguest desire to do so - not from Jane Carnell’s under advisement. No promises.
rather measured look, but from the unsettling view I went back and reread Nic’s Erle Stanley
and approach to gender, character, and Gardner piece in 15 to see how it played out
motherhood that she describes. I’ve been delving against his discussion of the new “origins” series
into ancient issues of the Peter Nichols edited Perry Mason. I’ve never read a Mason novel and
Foundation (talk about sercon!) from the early-to- watched the show only enough to be enamored of
mid seventies which gave the original Rendezvous it stylized writing and trim acting, noting how
With Rama a rather bland review calling it a Mason always got the bad guy to breakdown in
characterless exploration, rather than a novel. Not court and say he done it. Not at all surprised that
having read a ton of Clarke’s novels I still get the the HBO series is updated to what are perceived
impression that the themes explored in these as modern, inclusive sensibilities. I don’t think
novels aren’t something Clarke would have done there’s anything wrong with this—you just have to
on his own, and much of this must be Gentry be ready to embrace that it will vary from the
Lee’s doing, considering he went on to write two much-loved original, and possibly give new twists

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to the Canon. My own favorite vintage detective comments were cruel, possibly thoughtless, and
stories are by Richard S. Prather. I found a copy of perhaps intentionally inflammatory in order to
one of his Shell Scott novels at a thrift shop for a cause a reader reaction. In my lexicon of fanzine
quarter called The Wailing Frail. I went home and publishing that just doesn’t sit well.
gobbled it down, laughing, and enjoying it all the Then we come to Ulrika’s very sly and engaging
way to the last line and have been a big fan ever essay on the nature of shifting-realities that, in the
since. Prather was, in his way, a great noir stylist end, is nothing but a defense for what Nic has just
who seems to have been completely forgotten. written, actually using the phrase, “felt like an
The books are very manly, so you have to be able orchestrated personal attack”. My reaction? I was
to overlook all the casual misogyny, racism, etc., to shaking my head in disbelief. If Ulrika was trying
get under that white brush-cut hair and into the to temper what had come just before by
skull of Shell Scott. explaining Nic to us through her shifting feelings
Stacey Tappan’s “Diva Diaries” was very blue about him it didn’t work. What Nic did was a
collar in its description of work ethics and the blindside and any point he might have made
entitled expectations of the Met. It actually about cancel culture and the woke was abnegated.
reminded me of my situation as a groundskeeper Sorry, buddy.
at the University of Arizona. We are constantly Ulrika: It’s fascinating that you saw my
being told that we are the most important editorial as responding to, even defending
employees in facilities management because the Nic’s. Funny what unintended meanings can
initial perceptions of the university is its grounds. be created by mere juxtaposition. The two
FM’s expectations of a groundskeeper are pieces were crafted entirely independent of
extraordinary. We are also the lowest paid each other, though of course I had some idea of
employees and the fewest; the acreage each Nic’s topic. No, I really did mean to point to
groundskeeper maintains is near breaking point. the great personal and intellectual value I
place on maintaining the ability to change my
When I read Stacey’s description of the Met’s mind about ideas, factual claims, and
expectations of its singers I was shocked. Without especially people. Nic and I got off on the
their singers they are nothing. But then this has (very) wrong foot, it’s true, but I’m not sure
been the plight of the working class forever; what it’s possible to get off on the right foot with
surprised me was seeing it applied to Opera. I respect to Farah Mendelssohn if one has their
shouldn’t have been surprised. critical and skeptical faculties engaged and
operating properly. That empress has no
And so we come back around to the opening intellectual clothes. Meanwhile, I owe not
statements. I won’t dwell overly long on either of only my tremendously valuable friendship
these. with Nic, but the even greater one with the
I can’t say I much agree with Nic’s approach to his love of my life, to having taken the chance to
protest of the woke and cancel culture, while re-evaluate a bad first impression when the
agreeing wholeheartedly with his sentiments. opportunity presented. Maybe someday I’ll
Unfortunately there ended up being no lasting say the same about Farah, but I very deeply
doubt it.
cognizant point to it, degrading into what
appeared in context an unwarranted personal Nic: It’s been noted by some correspondents
attack on a specific person for a one-line comment that ishes of BEAM have somehow managed
that was so nonspecific it could be construed in to be what I’ll call “accidentally thematic”. I
any number of ways. My reaction was that Nic’s can see your point in viewing Ulrika’s
editorial as a “defense” of sorts, but as she

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says that wasn’t its primary intent, and I articles mentioned were reprinted in Lulzine #13,
think you’ve got this a bit backwards. The Lulzine #17, and the upcoming Lulzine #18
salient bit of commonality, if you can call it (which comes out by the end of this month
that, is the contention that it’s better and more [December 2021], but isn’t out yet). All those are
sane to react and revise in the light of new available by heading over to https://lulzine.net/
information than it is to be unthinkingly so hopefully that’s helpful.” ; Bill Burns ; Jerry
doctrinaire. Kaufman ; John Purcell ; Fred Lerner ;
Another great issue of a really good fanzine. I’m Mike Glyer: “I'd forgotten I’d written a LoC. I
glad to hear that another issue may be coming was also surprised there was more to it than the
sooner than 16! first hundred words, since at the point Ulrika
jumped in with a thousand-word filibuster.
WAHF Insecure, anyone?” ;
John Coxon: “Liked the issue, thought-provoking Ulrika: I cannot hope to surpass the masterful
stuff. I don’t have any thoughts that are irony of Mike Glyer accusing anyone else at
particularly worthy of being committed to your all of insecurity. I will not detail the nuclear
meltdown he leveled at poor Sandra Bond for
loccol, but just a very quick note to say that I’m
merely preferring the honor of a FAAn award
very flattered that Jacq Monahan and John Wesley to that of a fan Hugo.
Hardin chose to review Lulzine #4! Just to let you
know, issue #4 is no longer on the internet Lucy Huntzinger ; Marc Ortlieb ; Paul Di
anywhere because we let our hosting lapse, but the Filippo ;

TOPIC F
Rather than reply bittily and repetitively throughout the loccol to comments on my editorial in 16, I’m
going to make a single, and I hope simple statement here.
Some correspondents (and this is fair and accurate criticism) pointed out that the “name-calling” bits had,
for them, completely overshadowed what was supposed to be the core point: the ridiculousness of Farah’s
rejection in toto of Firefly based solely upon a scant viewing interpreted through a lens of excessive
“correctness”.
Steve Jeffery, pointedly and on point, noted in This Here... that he had in fact “wasted half a day” going
back over the original Facebook postings, and equally on point, said that other readers would have been
highly unlikely to have done so. This made it abundantly clear that I had simply allowed Farah’s opening
statement “[I] recognized what I was watching, and left” to do all the heavy lifting without providing any
of the further exchange between us to contextualize - the rest of that conversation being something that I
knew, but the readers of the editorial didn’t.
This was a clear fail, presuming that everyone else is following the same things that you are, when they’re
transparently not.
In short, this defines the editorial as poorly or at least ineffectively written, not least because for several
correspondents, even those who divined its intent, it came across as nothing more than an unreasoned and
unreasonable hate-piece.
Of course, I stand by the intent of my diatribe while properly mourning its weaknesses of execution.
Nic Farey

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