Every educational
path is unique
A JOURNEY THROUGH GRADES,
EMOTIONS, AND EXPECTATIONS
Index
Introduction pag. 3
01 7 tips for managing emotions pag. 6
before and during the return
02 Your grades don’t define you. pag. 8
03 Coping with parental expectations pag. 12
04 Socializing can be scary. Some pag. 14
advice to make it a bit less so
05 Don’t stress too much: follow pag. 17
these tips for organizing yourself
06 Why we sometimes need support: pag. 20
here are some insights
2
Introduction
75% of mental disorders emerge during adolescence and early
adulthood. Discussing mental health in school and university can be
daunting, but it’s essential, and there’s no right age to begin.
In every educational journey, there are times when we feel
somewhat lost, feeling like we need to be up to the mark. There can
be days when we feel less confident about our abilities, times when
everything seems bewildering, and days that seem overwhelming.
There are also days when we feel on top of the world, ready to “rock
everything.” This roller coaster of emotions and motivation is typical,
even if we wish we were more consistent.
Then there are teachers’ expectations, classmates’, and parents’
expectations. There are grades, performances, and comparisons
with others’ journeys. It feels like there’s a constant need to prove
ourselves. This pressure can lead to self-doubt and feelings of
inadequacy, feeling perennially trapped and without a way out.
In such contexts (and not only), it’s entirely normal to experience
fluctuating, explosive, sometimes devastating emotions. Everyone
has their ups and downs, and there’s nothing wrong with facing
challenging times. Whether we like it or not, it’s human nature. Some
days, we feel satisfied, joyful, and full of energy; others, we might
feel down, worried, or anxious.
We all go through such phases, and what truly matters is how we
confront and narrate these feelings to ourselves. Words, even those
we tell ourselves, matter profoundly.
3
Introduction
Hiding the less pleasant emotions or feeling guilty for experiencing
sadness or worry is not without its toll; it can come at a very high
cost in terms of inadequacy: the feelings we deem negative make us
feel profoundly alone, and in loneliness, our mind formulates equally
harsh judgments. We have the right to feel and live every emotion
and allow ourselves to process or even succumb to it. It’s essential to
know you’re not alone in these experiences.
If these emotions become too heavy, leading to a downward spiral,
asking for help is not only a right but a duty to oneself: there’s
nothing wrong with seeking assistance. Asking for help is an act of
courage and self-love. We aren’t superheroes and don’t have to face
everything alone. There’s strength in being vulnerable and opening
up to someone you trust.
4
This eBook is dedicated
to the challenges often
encountered in growth and
self-realization.
Together, we’ll embark on an exciting journey,
exploring the various phases of returning to school
and the feelings associated with them. We’ll learn
that while grades are important, they aren’t the
sole defining aspect of who we are. We’ll delve
into managing parental expectations, realizing
that our path to identity is personal and unique.
Moreover, we’ll examine social anxiety and how
to overcome fears arising in social settings. Lastly,
we’ll discuss common disorders among the youth,
offering valuable insights to face them with courage
and understanding. This eBook is a support tool
to approach these topics with confidence and
awareness, fostering growth, resilience, and mental
well-being.
This eBook is for you
because you’re not alone, regardless of
your experiences.
chapter 1
7 tips for managing emotions
before and during the return
Returning to the classroom is a period full of emotions. While
some students feel excited to reunite with friends and teachers,
others might experience anxiety or nervousness concerning the
unknowns the academic year might bring. We might feel drained at
the thought of the challenges ahead, have had a different summer
than expected, or feel less energized than others anticipate. We might
even dread simpler things, like returning to a familiar classroom.
It’s entirely natural to experience a wide range of emotions during
this transitional phase. Some of the most common might include
excitement, happiness, anxiety, nervousness, sadness, and
frustration.
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chapter 1
Normalizing these emotions and understanding they’re a natural part
of the school experience is crucial. To manage them effectively, it’s
first essential to recognize them. Here are some tips:
Express emotions
Don’t hide them; talking about them with parents, friends, or teachers can
make you feel heard and understood.
Keep a journal
Track your emotions by noting them in a diary or a specific app on your
phone. It can serve as a record during overwhelming times.
Deep breathing
Try deep breaths, inflating the belly, close your eyes, inhale for four seconds,
and exhale for five; it can help calm anxiety or nervousness.
Physical activity
Exercise is a great way to release stress and enhance mood. Find what fits
you best, irrespective of others’ choices.
Maintain a balanced routine
Balancing studies, rest, and leisure is essential to avoid feeling swamped.
Face challenges step-by-step
Expectations can be tricky; while they can motivate, they can also be
overwhelming. Each staircase is made up of small steps.
Self-care
Taking time for personal interests helps maintain a positive mental state.
Find what inspires and excites you.
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chapter 2
Your grades don’t define you
How often do we feel overwhelmed by the pressure to achieve the
best outcome? Sometimes, school seems to demand only that. This
belief can create constant anxiety about academic performance,
making us feel our value as individuals solely depends on our grades:
if we’re not at the top, we’re nothing. Alternatively, we might expect
so little from ourselves that we immediately feel like a hopeless
zero and don’t even try. We may constantly compete with other
students, continually comparing ourselves to them, as if it’s vital to
outperform someone else.
Such thinking can negatively influence our approach to learning.
The primary goal might be to score high rather than deepen the
understanding of content and nurture a genuine curiosity about the
subjects. Sometimes, this very thought keeps us from a passion for
studying.
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chapter 2
In a society where competition with others is increasingly felt, a
uniform grading system has been developed, which disregards
individual uniqueness. Our society often “talks the talk but doesn’t
walk the walk,” as the famous saying goes. While it speaks of
generosity, tolerance, and inclusivity, actions often don’t match
words. Feelings of inadequacy may arise since we are pressured to
fit a rigid mold to gain recognition and appreciation. This becomes
even more challenging when one faces tangible difficulties that make
learning hard, if not impossible. We might think we must sacrifice our
uniqueness to be accepted or deemed successful, leading to feelings
of isolation.
Understanding that everyone’s differences and peculiarities are
valuable and should be cherished is vital. There’s a time during our
growth when fitting into a group is crucial, even if it means limiting
oneself. It’s entirely normal, but setting boundaries is equally
essential. Embracing our individuality, finding strength and self-
confidence, and seeking help when we can’t do it alone is vital.
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chapter 2
GRA D E S A R E N ’ T
EVERYTHING
Our identity transcends a mere number.
Being human means being complex and
unique, with various skills, talents, and
facets.
A grade may only represent a tiny part of our identity, while our
emotional, social, creative, and intellectual abilities go far beyond
any academic assessment. It’s merely a tool to gauge our task
performance, not a valuation of our identity.
Our personal growth and development can’t be measured by a score
alone. One’s value is learning from mistakes, facing challenges, and
passionately pursuing beliefs. Every life experience, whether positive
or negative, helps us grow and mature, shaping our identity. It’s vital
to convey this to those around us who seem to demand so much that
they leave us no space, be it a parent or a teacher. Always strive to
find a way to communicate, even seeking assistance if necessary.
The journey of learning is endless, and therein lies its beauty.
Education offers us the chance to open up to the world, to choose
freely, and even to reject when something doesn’t sit right with
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chapter 2
us. Knowledge and wisdom can’t be quantified but evolve over
time through exploration, experience, and interaction with our
surroundings.
While we can’t change the entire grading system independently, we
can ground ourselves, understanding when the pressure becomes
too much. Rethinking the whole perspective and shifting focus
from grade importance to a more balanced learning approach can
help reduce stress and rediscover the joy of learning for the sheer
pleasure of knowledge and personal growth.
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chapter 3
Coping with parental
expectations
Our parents love us; they want the best for us, but alas, they might
have a terrible way of showing it. Their worldview, conditioned
by their experiences and expectations, affects their relationship
with us. Dealing with parental expectations can be an emotionally
intense and frustrating experience. Sometimes, it feels like
whatever we do holds no value and that more is needed. Socially,
we might feel pressured compared to peers, especially if parents
have high academic performance, career, or behavior expectations.
This can create anxiety and fear of disappointing them, feeling less
appreciated or even loved if we don’t perform at our best.
Parental expectations can impact our sense of identity and self-
worth. We need to recognize our actual value to feel judged or
evaluated based on success or failure. As much as we might resist,
parents’ love and esteem centralize our self-esteem.
However, it’s crucial to understand that parental expectations often
stem from a desire to see their children succeed and be happy.
They might think that by setting high expectations, they’re motivating
us to give our best. Always remember, our parents were once young,
too, with their journey potentially shaping their expectations for us.
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chapter 3
Here are some helpful tips to handle parental expectations:
Open communication
Open communication is key to understanding parental expectations.
Find a way to express your feelings and concerns, which can help reduce
misunderstandings. Getting assistance in this can be beneficial.
Set realistic expectations
It’s crucial to set reasonable expectations aligning with one’s abilities and
passions. Show your parents your realistic goals, helping them better
understand your perspective.
Seek their support
Engage your parents in your decisions and efforts. Show them that
their support matters when facing challenges, and openly discuss your
reservations about their attitude.
Focus on well-being
Remember that well-being and happiness are paramount. Communicate
your desire to lead a fulfilling life to help parents understand your choices’
motivations.
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chapter 4
Socializing can be scary. Some
advice to make it a bit less so
Socializing in school or academic settings can be daunting for
various reasons. Firstly, the school environment is where we interact
with new, often unfamiliar people, which can be intimidating. The
desire to be accepted and to make a good impression can heighten
social anxiety. Making friends isn’t always easy or accessible for
everyone, especially after the pandemic; many of us have great
difficulty socializing and feeling good about it.
The fear of being judged or criticized by others can discourage us
from actively participating in social activities
or making new friends. Being judged
negatively and, above all, being
excluded from the group is one of
our biggest fears. The fear of not
meeting social expectations or
not being interesting enough
can cause us to avoid social
situations and retreat into
our shells: it’s better to avoid
than be excluded.
Experiencing fear or anxiety
in social situations is an entirely
normal reaction. We are a social
species, and since prehistoric times,
belonging to a tight-knit group has
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chapter 4
protected humans and made them feel safe from all kinds of dangers,
including their own fears.
At some point in our lives, we all have felt unsure or concerned
about social encounters. It is a natural part of growth and adapting
to new environments: our experiences can plot a path from which
it seems impossible to escape, where we struggle to see the world
differently and expect different things from others.
To overcome the fear of socializing in school or academic settings,
here are some tips and suggestions to help you “center yourself”:
Be kind to yourself
Accept that we all have concerns in dealing with others and that everyone
feels this way sooner or later. It’s normal to feel anxiety sometimes, as well
as the fear of being judged. Allow yourself to take gradual steps, following
your feelings. If anxiety becomes debilitating, it may be helpful to seek help.
Practice empathy
Remember that others might feel the same fears and uncertainties. Each of us
carries our own story; none are the same, even if they seem similar, even if
we grew up in the same family. Showing empathy and understanding towards
others can ease social interaction and create more genuine connections.
Start with small steps
Begin socializing gradually, participating in small groups or more informal
events, and always following what makes you feel good without forcing
yourself. This can help you feel more at ease and gain confidence.
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chapter 4
Learn to listen
Listen carefully to others during conversations, showing genuine interest
in what they say. This can help create more profound, more meaningful
relationships. Relationships need to be cultivated; never take them for
granted.
Share common interests
Finding people with similar interests can facilitate communication and
establish a foundation for a stronger connection.
Volunteer
Participating in volunteer projects or group activities can help you meet
people with similar values and build meaningful relationships through
shared activity.
Seek help
If the fear of socializing becomes overwhelming, don’t hesitate to ask a
teacher, counselor, or parent for assistance. Discussing it can provide you
with the tools to overcome challenges.
Remember that socializing is a learning and growth process. With
time, practice, and appropriate support, you can overcome your fears
and discover the rewards of connecting with others and building
meaningful relationships.
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chapter 5
Don’t stress too much: follow
these tips for organizing
yourself
Balancing study and personal life can be challenging: it can reach
a point where it becomes very demanding and stressful. However,
you’re not alone in this journey; there are ways to make the
experience more manageable and balanced. Proper organization
and following some precautions can help prevent feeling
overwhelmed by daily challenges and help manage yourself at your
best.
Below are eight practical tips that can help organize study and
personal life, reducing stress and fostering a more serene outlook
during the academic journey and beyond. Remember, it’s a journey
where you’ll learn to balance the different spheres of life at your
own pace. This is essential, and everyone can find their own way to
do it. Let’s move on to the tips:
Plan your time
At the beginning of each week, plan your study activities. List the
subjects or topics you need to address and allocate dedicated time
in your day for them. This will help you maintain focus and maximize
your study time. Also, allow yourself some flexibility: there will be
days when you need to do something. Accept it as part of the journey;
you can make it up another day.
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chapter 5
Create a pleasant study space
Find a quiet, comfortable place to focus without distractions.
Personalize your study space with items you like, such as
plants, colored notebooks, or motivational images. A welcoming
environment can make studying more enjoyable.
Practice the “Pomodoro” technique
This involves 25-minute study sessions followed
by short breaks. This method allows you to
maintain high concentration and prevent
mental fatigue. We need to be able to
stay focused for an extended period
continuously. Use breaks to relax and
recharge.
Ask for help when needed
There’s nothing wrong with asking for assistance if you’re struggling
with a specific topic or feel overwhelmed by the study load. Teachers,
tutors, or classmates are there to support you. Asking for help is not a
sign of weakness but maturity and awareness of your needs.
Make time for yourself
It could be anything that relaxes and makes you feel good, like
reading, playing sports, listening to music, or walking outside. These
leisure moments are essential for maintaining balance and reducing
stress. Always follow what makes you feel good, and don’t fear
seeming “strange” due to your interests.
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chapter 5
Foster meaningful relationships
Don’t neglect time spent with family and friends. Meaningful
relationships can be a source of support, comfort, and joy. Schedule
meetings with loved ones, even if time is limited. Sharing emotions
and memorable moments with others helps lighten stressful times.
Set boundaries
Learn to say “no” when overwhelmed by external demands or
an excessive workload. Identify your limits and respect them. Your
health and mental well-being are paramount.
Maintain a balanced lifestyle
Try to lead a balanced life. Diet, rest, and physical activity are three
aspects that greatly influence health. Don’t neglect sleep; good rest
improves your concentration and learning ability during study. It
can sometimes be challenging to think about ourselves, especially
during tough times or when overwhelmed by emotions: finding
balance comes from many small things, and the body always
demands its due when we push too hard.
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chapter 6
Why we sometimes need
support: here are some
insights
Let’s look at the data together to understand better what young
people face regarding mental disorders, according to UNICEF data.
15% of students have been diagnosed with a
mental illness
40% of cases related to anxiety and depression
Anxiety
When afflicted with anxiety, daily activities can become a challenge.
One can feel as if worries and negative thoughts dominate the
mind, preventing concentration on anything else. This restlessness
can affect sleep and the ability to relax, leading to constant tension.
The Psychological Help Service of the University of Turin has collected
and analyzed data from 69 studies that include more than 40,000
students worldwide and found anxiety problems in 29-39% of young
people. The National Institute of Mental Health also confirms that
30% of young people suffer from generalized anxiety disorder.
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chapter 6
Depression
Another challenge that can significantly impact young people’s
lives is depression. Depression can make one feel down, making
everything so heavy. But what are the symptoms? According to
the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders (DSM V), those suffering from significant depression
display, almost every day for at least two weeks, a depressed mood
or loss of pleasure in daily activities, but other symptoms can be
experienced:
• Significant weight loss or gain not attributable to a diet;
• Considerable decrease or increase in appetite (every day);
• Insomnia or hypersomnia (almost every day);
• Agitation or psychomotor slowing (almost every day);
• Lack of energy (almost every day);
• Excessive, inappropriate, and delusional feelings of guilt
(almost every day);
• Indecisiveness, reduced ability to think or concentrate
(almost every day);
• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, without devising a
specific plan to commit it.
Persistent sadness and a lack of interest in customarily loved
things can make one feel like drifting away from the world. When
depressed, relationships with others can be challenging. One might
feel a sense of isolation, feeling truly misunderstood. It’s as if one is
amid an “emotional fog,” distant from the rest of the world.
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chapter 6
According to the American College Health Association (ACHA), anxiety
and depression are significant academic performance challenges.
This puts individuals at a higher risk of substance abuse and
suicidal thoughts. According to data reported by the ACHA, as many
as 65.7% of students admitted to having felt “overwhelming anxiety,”
which has doubled in the past 10 years.
This data helps us understand how important it is to care for
students’ mental health. The causes of discomfort seem rooted
in society, where competition is fiercer, and the pressure from
grades can become overwhelming. It’s crucial to understand that
these emotions are not something to be ashamed of. They are
not symptoms of weakness but natural reactions to stressful and
unpleasant situations. The pressure and stress associated with
studies can take a lot of work to handle. Still, anyone feeling
overwhelmed or in trouble must have the opportunity to ask for help
and support.
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