How to Conquer Strife

The fight is on—at every level. Strife is separating nation from

nation, brother from sister and husband from wife. The conflict
comes in varying degrees—from minor disagreements at the
office to bomb-dropping border disputes between nations. But
one thing is certain, if you're going to live in this world, you're
going to have to deal with it! And, as a believer, you're going to
have to deal with it severely.

Strife isn't something you can treat casually. It's a deadly

enemy. Just look at what the Word says about it. James 3:16
says where strife is there is confusion and EVERY evil work.

Allowing strife to go unchecked or entering into it opens the

door to every evil work. Careful study of the New Testament
reveals strife as a deadly enemy that must be stopped in
our daily lives.

In fact, as a born-again child of God, you're not only expected to

avoid strife, you're expected to be a "peacemaker" (Matthew
5:9). But is it really possible to live in a world that's so full of
strife without being drawn into the conflict yourself?

That's a question I used to ask myself a lot. My life used to be

full of turmoil and conflict. Even as a boy, I fought over
everything—my bike, my clothes, anything. It seems like I was
always fighting!

When I was in grade school I stood out like a sore thumb

because all of the other boys wore blue jeans and I
wore corduroy knickerbockers. So other boys made fun of me
by imitating the sound my corduroy britches made as I
walked, "Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh."

And all of the other kids laughed at me.

That always started a fight!

It never took much provocation for me to end up in some kind of

strife with someone. Even as an adult, I'd look for opportunities
to fight. I'd try saying something ugly in the elevator and
then watch all the women's ears roll up!

Then I'd hope some fellow would say something about it so that
maybe I'd get to hit him! I was pretty ornery before I made
Jesus the Lord of my life.

Even after I was born again, I could be pretty ornery. But then I
fought with my tongue instead of my fist. I said cutting things
that packed a more powerful punch than my fist ever did.
Instead of slugging a man in the face, I hit him in the heart and
that was much more devastating. A black eye will heal in just a
few days, but a wounded spirit will fester and fester until
someone reaches in there with the love of God to heal it.

What I couldn't understand is why I spoke more harshly to my

family than to anyone else. It seemed that no matter how hard I
tried, I couldn't speak a kind word to them. I criticized Gloria's
driving so much that she nearly refused to drive while I was
with her. And I criticized her flying until she finally decided to
just sleep and let old "bad mouth" do all the flying. The way I
spoke to my children was no better.

I didn't want to be so insensitive, but I couldn't help it. I had a

well-developed habit of speaking harshly and didn't know how
to change it. One day I realized that I could hardly
remember the last time I said something kind to my children.
That was when I decided that I had to change some things.
But how?

I asked the Lord, "How do I change a pattern of behavior that's

been part of me for so long?" I knew that Ephesians 4:29 said,

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but

that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister
grace unto the hearers."

And harsh words and criticism are certainly not edifying

and gracious. I was willing to change this pattern, but I needed
a replacement for the things I was so used to saying, something
more powerful than these words of strife and criticism.

I found that alternative in Ephesians

5:3-4. "But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let

it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither
filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not
convenient: but rather giving of thanks."

The alternative to speaking ugly is thanksgiving. The New

English Bible says it this way, "No coarse, stupid, or flippant
talk; these things are out of place; you should rather be
thanking God." I realized that I couldn't speak harshly and
thank God simultaneously. I couldn't criticize those around me if
I had a thankful attitude about them.

I immediately decided to put this principle to work in my life.

Rushing into my son's room one day ready to lambaste him
about something he had done, I recognized my old behavior
pattern. I just stopped and said to myself, The Word says that
this kind of behavior is out of place, so I am going to stop and
thank God. I wasn't nearly as angry after I spent a few minutes
praising and thanking the Lord for him.

We're not supposed to correct our children in anger. Ephesians

6:4 says,

"Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger—do

not exasperate them to resentment—but rear them [tenderly] in
the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of
the Lord" (The Amplified Bible). And verse 1 of Chapter 5 said
that we are to "be. .followers of God, as dear children." In other
words, we are to imitate God as children imitate their parents.

When we miss the mark, God doesn't hit us with a barrage of

verbal abuse!

Rather, He corrects us with gentle reproof, and that's the way

we're to correct our children. When we're angry, if we'll just
stop for a few minutes and thank the Lord, it will change the
way we discipline them.

This approach will work in any situation where there's a

temptation to tear into someone with cruel and unkind words.
When someone crosses you on the job, at school, or
wherever, instead of the verbal abuse, let your mouth be filled
with praise to your God.

He is worthy of your praise! If you are thinking about how good

God is, you can't be talking about how bad others are!

A lot of believers don't realize it, but this is what Jesus meant
when He said that we are to take up our cross and follow Him.
People have some strange ideas about what their cross in life is.

Some think it's sickness. Others believe it's poverty. Still others
think that their unruly teenagers are their cross to bear.

But the one thing that you will never be rid of in this life—the
one thing that will be your cross to bear—is unkind, hard-to-love
people. There will always be someone who will try to provoke
you.

But in order to stop strife, you'll have to take up the cross and
follow Jesus.

How did Jesus respond to unlovely people? He imitated His

heavenly

Father and spoke the Word of God. He said, "The words I speak
are not My own. I only say what the Father tells Me to say" (see
John 8:28). And John 3:34 tells us that because He only spoke
the Word of God, He had the Spirit in an unlimited measure.
The power of God was Jesus' vindication in every situation, not
His smart-aleck words! He didn't use any flippant words. He
only said what the Father told Him to say.

In Ephesians 4:29-32, we find the kinds of things the Father is

telling us to 12 How to Conquer Strife

say.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your

mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that
it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the
holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of
redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and
clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all
malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath
forgiven you.

Notice the words even as. We are supposed to be imitating God

no matter

what the circumstances are. We are supposed to be acting like

God, speaking His words and doing His work.

If we keep ourselves busy doing His thing, we won't have time

to do our thing! We will be so full of God's love that there won't
be any room for strife.

That's the key to having the power of God manifested in our

lives just as it was manifested in Jesus' life.

Smith Wigglesworth is an excellent example. He went into the

ministry because he became so involved in the work of God that
he just didn't have time to be a plumber anymore. He was so
full of the Spirit and so busy preaching to folks one-on-one that
he had to go into full-time ministry.

Mr. Wigglesworth jumped onto a fellow's wagon one day and

said, "I'm going to stay here until you let me tell you about
Jesus." Just to get rid of him, the fellow said, "Well, go ahead
and tell me. Then get off my wagon!"

So Mr. Wigglesworth started telling him about how God loved

him and wasn't holding his sins against him.

After a while, tears started flowing from the fellow's eyes and
he said, "Pray for me, Mr. Wigglesworth. I want to accept the
Lord." The man died two weeks later. What would have
happened to him if someone had not been doing God's work?

That was God's love in action. Men in themselves are not

capable of that sincere concern for total strangers. It takes
God's love to reach out to others.

God's love must be in your heart in abundance for it to come out

of your mouth the way it came out of Smith Wigglesworth, and
the best way to be filled with the love of God is to renew your
mind to that love.

The way that I renew my mind to the love of God is to study and
meditate 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I read it in the first person like
this: "I suffer long and am kind; I do not envy; I do not parade
myself; I am not puffed up; I do not behave rudely; I do not seek
my own way; I am not provoked; I think no evil; I do not rejoice
in iniquity, but I rejoice in the truth; I bear all things; I
believe all things; I hope all things, and I endure all things. I
never fail." This is a valid confession because God is love, and I
am born of God. Therefore, I am born of love. The love of God in
your heart and the praise of God on your lips are an unbeatable
team. When an unlovely person tries to provoke you into
strife, you will remember, I am not provoked.

Instead of retaliating, let the praise of God come out of your

mouth.

This doesn't mean that you have to let them take advantage of
you. Praise brings the presence of God on the scene and causes
some astounding things to happen in the spirit realm. Notice
Psalm 8:2.

"Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained

strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the
enemy and the avenger." When Jesus quoted this verse in
Matthew 21:16, He said, "Out of the mouth of babes and
sucklings thou hast perfected praise."

Jesus equated praise with strength. Strength against what?

Strength against Satan, our only real enemy. Praise stops the
devil.

Now look at Psalm 9:2-4. "I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I
will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High. When mine
enemies are turned back, they shall fall and perish at thy
presence. For thou hast maintained my right and my cause;
thou satest in the throne judging right."

Praise stills the enemy. It stops strife because it stops the

source of it—Satan.

Praise and love pack a powerful one-two punch. Praise will

cause the devil to fall back and perish at the very presence of
God coming into a situation,
and love never fails. That's why the love of God in your heart
and the praise of

God on your lips are an unbeatable team. You have not only
taken a defensive action against strife, but an offensive action
as well!

An excellent example of how praise backs Satan down comes

from Aimee Semple McPherson's ministry. She was holding a
large tent meeting when some of the townspeople decided to
throw kerosene on the tent and "burn that bunch of religious
fanatics out of town."

They were making so much noise outside the tent that no one
could hear the preaching. Aimee McPherson took control of the
situation by praising God.

The Lord opened Aimee's eyes to see into the spirit. She noticed
that every time she said, "Praise God," the evil spirits that were
driving those men cowered and backed away. The men
eventually calmed down and became convicted of their
wrongdoing. Before the meeting was over, more than half
of them gave their lives to the Lord. Not only was the meeting
saved, but the men were too!

When you praise God in the midst of strife instead of retaliating,

God will not only maintain your right and your cause,

He will maintain the right and cause of the other person as well.
Because He is no respecter of persons, God will show you a way
to have a no-lose situation.

Everyone will win because Satan will lose!

Beginning today, you can conquer strife. Make a decision to

keep yourself full of the love of God. Meditate the "love chapter"
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Confess it in the first person several times a day. And when

others provoke you, don't retaliate. Instead, give thanks to God
for His goodness and watch His presence come on the scene
and put strife under your feet where it belongs!

Prayer for Salvation and Baptism in the Holy Spirit

Heavenly Father, I come to You in the Name of Jesus. Your Word

says, "Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be
saved" (Acts 2:21). I am calling on You. I pray and ask Jesus to
come into my heart and be Lord over my life, according to
Romans 10:9-10— "If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the
Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised
him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man
believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is
made unto salvation." I do that now. I confess that Jesus is Lord,
and I believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead.

I am now reborn! I am a Christian—a child of Almighty God! I

am saved! You also said in Your Word, "If ye then, being evil,
know how to give good gifts unto your children: HOW MUCH
MORE shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them
that ask him?" (Luke 11:13). I'm also asking You to fill me with
the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, rise up within me as I praise God. I
fully expect to speak with other tongues as You give me
utterance (Acts 2:4).

Begin to praise God for filling you with the Holy Spirit. Speak
those words and syllables you receive—not in your own
language, but the language given to you by the Holy Spirit. You
have to use your own voice. God will not force you to speak.
Worship and praise Him in your heavenly language—in other
tongues.

Continue with the blessing God has given you and pray in
tongues each day.

You are a born-again, Spirit-filled believer. You'll never be the

same!

Find a good Word of God preaching church, and become a part

of a church family who will love and care for you as you love
and care for them.

We need to be connected to each other. It increases our

strength in God. It's God's plan for us.

Begin to praise God for filling you with the Holy Spirit. Speak
those words and syllables you receive—not in your own
language, but the language given to you by the Holy Spirit. You
have to use your own voice.

God will not force you to speak. Worship and praise Him in your
heavenly language—in other tongues.

Continue with the blessing God has given you and pray in
tongues each day.

You are a born-again, Spirit-filled believer. You'll never be the

same!

Find a good Word of God preaching church, and become a part

of a church family who will love and care for you as you love
and care for them.

We need to be hooked up to each other. It increases our

strength in God. It's God's plan for us.

About the Author

For more than 32 years, Kenneth Copeland has led countless

believers on a journey to maturity in the principles of faith, love,
healing, prosperity, redemption and righteousness. Through the
Believers Voice of Victory broadcast—one of the top five
Neilsen-rated inspirational programs—and BVOV

Magazine, he has brought revelation knowledge on the truths of

God's Word. He has taught Christians everywhere that they can
conquer the problems and challenges life brings through faith
in God's Word.
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