1.1 Manage Conflict

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1 Manage Conflict
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Accept that Conflicts are Inevitable

Whenever we bring people together to solve problems and build products or services, we
will encounter differences of opinion and conflict. Some forms of debate and arguing are
productive. For instance, debating options and the best way forward can lead to better
decisions and more robust solutions.

However, when arguments escalate beyond the facts at hand to become personal or
impact team performance, they need to be addressed. A critical skill project managers
need to develop is diagnosing the difference between the healthy debate of options or
ideas and damaging arguing.

1.1.1 Interpret the Source and the Stage of the Conflict

(Be on the look-out for conflict)

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One tool for diagnosing the severity of conflict is the “Five Levels of Conflict” model
developed by Speed Leas. It shows a progression from a simple problem to solve all the
way to people or groups declaring war on one another.

Listening to the language and phrases the team uses and comparing it to descriptions of
the five levels can help determine the stage of a conflict.

Level 1 (Problem to Solve) – The language is friendly and mostly constructive.


People back up with statements with facts. E.G. “Oh, I see what you are saying now.
I still prefer the other approach, but I understand your suggestion.”
Level 2 (Disagreement) – People start to include self-protection. E.G. “I know
you think my idea won’t work, but we tried your suggestion last time, and there were
a lot of problems.”
Level 3 (Contest) – The language becomes distorted with over-generalizations
and magnified positions. E.G. “If only he wasn’t on the team…”, “She always takes
over the demo.”
Level 4 (Crusade) -The conflict becomes more ideological and divided. E.G.
“They’re just plain stupid" and "It’s not worth talking to them."
Level 5 (World War) – The language is altogether combative, or the opposing
people do not speak directly to each other. Only talking to those "on their side" and
saying things such as, "It is us or them" and "We’ve got to beat them!”

So, while conflict can escalate to toxic levels, it is crucial to understand why it can also be
constructive. Teams need to feel safe debating ideas and disagreeing with suggestions in
order to build commitment for outcomes. Without passionate debate, which includes

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good-natured conflict, team members rarely buy-in and commit to decisions.

This lack of commitment, based on a fear of conflict, then leads to an avoidance of


accountability as people hesitate to call out their peers. These factors are documented in
Patrick Leniconi’s “Five Dysfunctions of a Team” model.

Healthy conflict is necessary for building commitment to decisions; it allows for the
robust testing of ideas. This leads to a stronger commitment to the final group decision.
This is why many high-performing teams seem to be continuously engaged in good-
natured argument. They are trying to understand all the options, testing ideas for flaws,
and consensus-building. These types of conflict are productive and desirable.

1.1.2 Analyze the Context for the Conflict

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(Determine the severity of the conflict)

Analyzing the context and the words used in arguments is an excellent way to understand
the level of conflict.

Based on the 5 levels concept, the following model suggests some de-escalation responses
based on conflict level.

Using this model, if we hear examples of, say, “Level 3: Contest” type conflict, we could
try negotiating and getting to the facts. This tries to take it from personal to factual.

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1.1.3 Evaluate / Recommend / Reconcile the Appropriate Conflict
Resolution Solution

(Try to resolve the conflict)

When it comes to resolving conflict, a practical model is the Dual-Concern Grid by


Langton and Sadri. It describes conflict resolution options plotted on an axis that shows
Concern for Others (X-axis) and Concern for Ourself (Y-axis).

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There are several ways we can try to resolve conflict. We could use positional power and
tell people to stop arguing (graph Top Left – Force / Direct), but this is temporary and
futile since it does not solve the problem. Alternatively, we accommodate people by
smoothing the problem and do the work ourselves (graph Bottom Right – Smooth /
Accommodate). However, neither of these approaches is ideal.

Instead, we should try to be in the upper right quadrant of high concern for others and
high concern for oneself. This is the collaborative area of conflict resolution where we
confront the issue and hopefully solve it. This all sounds good in theory, but dealing with
people when they are angry or upset is never straightforward.

A good approach to try is the Three Steps for Managing Conflict using a
Confronting/Problem Solving Approach that combines several conflict resolution models.

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The three-step model, starts with Step 1 “Define the Problem.” This involves
acknowledging the conflict, establishing common ground or goals, such as ‘we both want
what is best for the customer’ and separating the problem from the people. Next, Step 2
‘Explore and Evaluate Alternatives’ is a “diverge,” brainstorming phase where many
different alternatives are investigated and assessed. Lastly, Step 3 “Select Best
Alternative,” is the “converge” step where we decide on the best way forward.

These tools are, at best, direction arrows on a tricky journey. They can help us navigate to
a solution, but they do not replace the hard work of actively listening to both sides of the
conflict and empathizing with different viewpoints. That takes an investment of patience
and empathy. So too does the following steps of encouraging people to let go of personal
attachment to ideas or feelings.

Conflicts are inescapable. At best, they are signs of a vibrant, robust team that is happy to
test and improve their ideas and choices. However, if arguments become more personal,
they also develop a harmful and counterproductive impact. Team members disengage and
distance to protect themselves. Then ideas are not well tested, and blind-spots and
problems occur.

The key is to care, to get engaged, listen and try to diagnose the conflicts occurring. Maybe
do a reality test by following up individually afterward. Ask, “You and Preeta seemed to be
having a heated debate about the design. Did you come to an agreement you are OK
with?” Knowing when to let it go and when to step in is half the battle. Using these tools
can help and provide some guidance for conflict resolution.

Deliverables and Tools

Five Dysfunctions of a Team – Patrick Lencioni


Five Levels of Conflict – Speed Leas
Dual-Concern Grid – Langton and Sadri
Confronting/Problem Solving – Various authors

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