Swordfish Islands LLC

San Antonio, TX 78217

©2019 Swordfish Islands LLC
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Printed in the USA

1st printing 500 copies

SFI0007
 The Lapis
Observatory

Jacob Hurst

Gabriel Hernandez

Evan Peterson

Donnie Garcia

The Swordfish Islands

Illustrations by
Gabriel Hernandez

Maps by
Billy Longino
The Lapis
Observatory

T
he Lapis Observatory was first built The observatory itself, situated atop the
to observe the heavens. As the elves tower in a golden dome, was packed with the
began visiting the planes beyond the remaining magical research apparatus and
stars the observatory was adapted to assist occasionally opened for wealthy, museum loving,
with their exploration, providing vital data. In eccentrics. Despite the observatory's shuttering,
time the elves outgrew the services provided by the theme of space persisted throughout the
the arcanodemics, and the mappers of stars and tower in art, architecture, trinkets and small
planes were pushed out to make way for more personal scrying or viewing devices.
modern elven pursuits of decadent excess.
When the cataclysm struck the Isle of Light,
Like most things that make money, the Lapis the giant floating staircase encircling the
Observatory was most profitable when basalt outcropping that holds the Lapis
it was most useless. Much of the magical Observatory crumbled and fell away. Many
research apparatus was removed with the of the elven revelers, at the height of a
arcanodemia and the tower was converted sipopa binge, melted into orange sludge
into a hyper-exclusive hotel and event and remain trapped on the spire to this day.
venue. The lower levels were converted into Almost every surface in the lower levels is
posh sipopa lounges, a grand ballroom and a coated in thick layers of translucent orange
swanky restaurant. These areas were open to crystal. Much of the ancient opulence of
any that could afford them and parties were elven society has been preserved beneath
held almost every day of the week. Some these protective layers, and the tower's relative
historians say Lady Hedonia herself hosted isolation has deterred most would-be looters
a party here shortly after the observatory's throughout the ages. Any looter not deterred
remodel, but others insist the mass orgy/ by a 150' climb up a sheer basalt spire is
suicide of the Kitflare Trading company typically finished off by one of the dozens
was outside her influence. The upper levels of orange sludges roaming the halls. Astral
of the tower were converted into "Hotel spinners, muttering serpents, boltforagers,
Lapis" and only the most powerful and best other adventurers and embercoral or salt
connected could secure a room or visit the vine from the Conservatory of Extra-Planar
Conservatory of Extraplanar Delights. Delights, handle the rest.
Note: This setting is system neutral, so there are no stats for monsters or
prepackaged treasure parcels. No levels are assumed, and there is
no expected or correct path of advancement through this dungeon. In addition to the
entrance on the ground floor, balconies and windows can provide skilled climbers with
access to the 2nd and 3rd floors from outside the tower.

What’s happening in Lapis when the party arrives? (3d6)

3 All orange sludge have retreated to THE BALLROOM. Salt vine covers all other rooms.
4 An elf is trying to rent the observatory. He's here with prospective tenants right now.
5 Tuning Day! Functional golems tune each other while sludges try to break them.
6 3d6 adventurers are camped outside. Intend to survey tower. Likely all dead in 24 hours.
7 d4+1 Goa are rock climbing the basalt outcrop on which the tower sits. For sport.
8 d4+1 extraplanar party goers have arrived thinking Hotel Lapis is still open.
9 3d6 orange sludge are attempting to suicide out the windows. Furious they cannot die.
10 Half the sludges inhabit broken singing golems and pretend to be elves. The rest are pissed.
11 The tower is lit for a party. Music plays. Fireworks at night. "Auto party" magic functional.
12 2d12 Fuegonauts camp below the tower to collect gems from the broken stairway.
13 Steam imps sent d6+1 adventurers to save imps in THE KITCHEN, but bet against them.
14 All the golems in STORAGE have reactivated and are attempting to clean the tower.
15 An elf is hosting d4 extraplanar business associates in THE OBSERVATORY.
16 d4x100 migrating boltforagers roost here for the night. The stench is overwhelming.
17 A nature deity's avatar has arrived to reclaim something powerful from THE GARDEN.
18 A roc roosts atop the observatory.

Global Encounter Table Once the What’s

Happening table has
3d6 Encounter Motivation
3 3d6 Orange Sludge Art/Performance established the vibe of the
4 A Lizardman Shaman Wounded Observatory, you may want
5 A Blindfire Vine Setting up an ambush to roll up the encounters
6 An Adventurer Fleeing* for every location on a level.
7 A Singing Golem Delivery
8 d6+2 Astral Spinners Laboring/Nesting This way you can approach
9 3d6 Boltforagers Eating/Drinking the encounters and their
10 An Orange Sludge Investigating/Searching motivations from a more
11 d4+5 Orange Sludge Social/Creative macro level and figure out
12 A Muttering Serpent Interacting With*
13 d4+1 Adventurers Fighting* how they (dis)harmonize
14 A Singing Golem Repairing/Maintenance with dungeon as a whole.
15 A Boltforager Territorial Display
16 3d6 Astral Spinners Returning Home
17 A Lizardman Just Passing Through
18 A Crystal Frog Waiting (for you)
*Roll again
Basement

2 3

4 5
6
Room Encounter Motivation Notes
1
2
3
4
5
6
1. The Sliding Doors 5. Golem Storage
20' x 20', two engraved panels[white stone, Door: Steel[heavy, high relief, golems]
highly detailed, left panel broken, passable, 4d10+10 singing golems[deactivated,
crawling, engraved with: stars, constellations, stand in rows and columns], 2d8 sedan
sipopa flower fractals], rubble[door chunks, chairs[posh, weird construction, gaudy with
statue fragments: arms and heads], orange gold, jewls and precious metals]
crystal [thick sheet, covers rubble and
bottom third of door] Sludges have not made it into this room. Any
non-stone objects are little more than dust.
The orange crystal is brittle and shatters
loudly if broken 6. The Herald
Singing Golem - elf, male, black basalt,
2. The Warehouse "perfect" features/body/structure, gold
20' ceilings, dark, giant shelving shorts[removable, fully functional sexbot]
structures[7, stone and metal, 20' high, 4
tiers], trunks[wood, metal, broken, fallen, The Herald possesses numerous chimes
ransacked, goblets, jewels, lace, drug granting access to 3d10+10 locations
paraphernalia, preserved under orange throughout the Swordfish Islands. The Herald
crystal], webs[d4, large, silver, bright, astral is active and says "Hello, who are you?"
spinners] on a loop in 30 different languages (can
function as a perfect translator). It will bond
3. The Fallen Shelf to the first person to answer its question,
Rubble[stone, metal, jagged, chunks], and serve this individual to the best of its
planks, statue fragments[arms, legs, heads], ability. In any sort of social situation (other
orange crystal[thick sheet] intelligent creatures involved), the Herald will
loudly announce its master's name and an
Rubble contains d4+1 broken singing golems. assortment of wildly exaggerated titles and
Orange sludge in area may animate it and accolades based on events it has witnessed
bust through crystal layer. or been told about. If the Herald recognizes
other individuals in the vicinity it will loudly
4. "Servant's" Quarters announce their name, titles, and accolades,
Door: Oak[heavy, gold sipopa detailing] but do so in a way that is as diminishing
Beds[4, four poster, lace or velvet curtains, as possible without causing direct offense.
crystal coating, shattered], chairs[6, The Herald is capable of recognizing the
wingback, velvet, fallen, ruined, broken, crystal orange sludges in the Lapis Observatory
coating], trunks[ransacked, wood, impossible and will loudly announce and introduce its
clothing], fireplace[stone, cooking, large], new master and these elves to each other
shelves[wood, mostly fallen, books, ruined], according to its protocols.
cupboards[ransacked], kitchen implements
[strewn about], drug paraphernalia

For a time it was fashionable for elves to

pretend to be servants. They wealthy would
vye for the privilege of staying here and
"roughing it" as the help.
Ground Floor

1
2
10 3 7
5 6
4
9 8

To Second Floor

Room Encounter Motivation Notes

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
1. The Grand Door Delfina (nereid) - Was once one of the 50 Vision's
most accomplished dancers. She killed a powerful
20' x 20', gold, high bas relief[elves,
idealized, naked, constellations, stars, elven trader just before the cataclysm and has been
comets], opens and closes silently and left in the painting ever since. Although the elf she
automatically when approached killed deserved it, guilt consumes her, and her fearful
emotional state is as tight as a drum.
2. "Space" 6. The Gift Shop
Walking into this room is like walking into
Ransacked. Windows[large, gaping, no glass,
space. Walls, floor, and ceiling are enchanted
stained sills], jungle debris[leaves, vines], brick red
with ancient magic to show highly detailed, feathers[boltforager], bones, shelving[wood, toppled,
lifelike depictions of galaxies, nebulas, supernovae, broken, burned, preserved, red lacquer], desk[obsidian,
pulsars, comets, asteroids and planets. The scenes mirrored, glowing insets, secret cash box], orange crystal
are depicted on a 72 hour loop. Room is otherwise [part of room, preserves some shelves], stench[rot, death],
empty with no apparent exits. May induce splatters[dried blood, throughout], drug paraphernalia
feelings of insignificance.
7. Drinker's Library
After a short time a glowing, translucent High backed chairs[groups of 4, around small
automated phantasm will appear as a strikingly round tables, some fallen, some preserved], wood
paneled walls, plush green carpet[under orange
beautiful male or female elf. If acknowledged it
crystal], shelving[wooden, ransacked, throughout],
will say the following in a language the guest can books[piles, ruined, throughout], small round tables
understand: "Welcome to Hotel Lapis. Please, [hollow, contain tea services], broken statuary,
unburden yourself and relax. Servants will come drinking paraphernalia[kettles, goblets, mugs,
for your luggage. Would you like to enter?" An wooden boxes], orange crystal[throughout]
affirmative will open a door to [3].
8. Smoker's Den
3. The Walkway Hanging cubes and spheres[10'x10'x10', metal,
White marble, columns, railings[carved, woven, hang at different heights from ceiling, circular
"impossible" lattices, mathemagical], sheer openings, like bird houses], pillow pits[3' deep, 10'
curtains[partially preserved under orange diameter, under each cube or sphere, ransacked, pillows,
boxes, containers, hookahs, censers], pedestals[by each
crystal], orange crystal[varying thickness]
pit, obsidian, gold inlay of sipopa flowers, button], shag
carpet[gold, walls, floor], orange crystal[throughout]
4. Directions
White marble, arrows[8, gold, in floor, elven Pedestals raise and lower the smoking "nests".
moves], stairs down, orange crystal[lumpy]
9. Duster's Gymnasium
Orange crystal partially preserves remains of Wooden floor, mirrored walls, standing
sheer curtains[cloth] tables[20, mirrored], targets[along North wall,
darts and archery], rings on poles, gymnastic
5. Front Desk equipment[pommel horses, uneven bars,
Lapis lazuli walls[gold hexagonal mirror parallel bars, broken, fallen], pointed sports
insets], desk [obsidian, mirror finish, glowing equipment[lawn darts, javelins, arrows, bows, atlatals,
fallen, disarray], orange crystal[throughout]
line insets], vases [toppled, shattered,
porcelain, detailed, otherworldly flowers,
preserved beneath crystal], books [disarray,
10. Chaser's Stone Garden
A giant garden carved of white stone. Stone
piles, under crystal], sofas [partially burned, sipopa bushes[seed pods are beds for one],
partially preserved], painting [nereid, forest creatures[stone, stylized birds and animals,
trapped, depicts desert scene, stagnant oasis, 1d10 are singing golems], orange crystal[thick
sandstorm] layer throughout]
Second Floor

8
4
8 3
7 2
8
6 1
8 5
9 To First Floor

Room Encounter Motivation Notes

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
1. Scintillating Concourse 5. The Kitchen
Hallway. Music[faint, from THE BALLROOM], Doors: secret[two statues in hallway]
shining movement on walls [small triangles, Within: Ransacked industrial kitchen.
gold, lapis, obsidian, tessellation, kinetic Tables[metal, prep work, utensils],
sculpture], alcoves [10, black basalt, arched, cabinets[metal, broken doors, empty], small
statues, elves, gold plaques, prominent waterfall[from crystal egg into stone basin,
arcanodemics, broken, rubble, legs remain water imp visible in egg, nonresponsive],
standing], rubble [statue pieces, faces, drug large metal eggs(?)[Three, hinged doors,
paraphernalia, black basalt chunks], orange ovens, two contain trapped steam imps, non-
crystal [throughout, partially up walls] responsive], orange crystal[throughout]

Kinetic sculptural "wallpaper" of gold, lapis 6. The Pantry

and obsidian triangles. Moves when passed Door: [steel, sealed]
by sapient creatures if not coated in crystal. Within: Empty. Metal shelving. No crystal.

2. The Crack 7. The Ballroom

Cracked opening[in wall, size of two fists], Doors (interior): White stone[heavy, high
orange crystal[thick, heavily trafficked] bas relief, constellations, naked elves, sealed]
Doors (exterior): Metal and glass[fractals]
3. A Taste of Space Exterior(balcony): telescopes[4, point
Doors: Basalt[fallen, broken], orange crystal west, gold, intricate, ornate], statues[2, 10'
Within: Ransacked, crystal coated, once tall, male and female elf, naked, hold gold jugs,
plush fine dining. Carpet[plush, white], pour water endlessly], jungle debris[leaves,
chairs[~100, white, nondescript, fallen, vines, flowers, sticks]
broken], tables[25, white, nondescript, Within: Ballroom. Black and white
fallen, broken], china[broken, food on "checkerboard" floor. Hanging
some, extravagant], drinkware, goldware, orrery[ceiling, gold, gems, accurate, planets
vases[giant, otherworldly pompom flowers] glow, no obvious suspension], orange
crystal [thick layer, throughout] Obsidian
Thick orange crystal preserves the opulence stage[mirror finish, reflects stars and comets],
beneath. The ceiling is on the same loop as pillars[4, on stager, chunky, abstract, glowing
"Space" [2] on the First Floor. insets, play to movement on dance floor]

4. Jagged Crystal Column d10+1 orange sludges are here at any given
Floor to ceiling. 10' diameter. Milky white time enraptured by THE MIRROR [8].
crystal [jagged, uneven, chunky, translucent,
soft glow] 8. The Mirror
Floor to ceiling. Shows the viewer as the most
Activates three times per day. Changes perfect and idealized potential form. Others
al fixtures in the room (but ceiling) to an appear as almost, but not quite, as perfect.
extravagant theme(oriental, medieval, Effective sludge trap.
underwater, made of lightning, gold!,
impossible geometry, surreal, etc). Also 9. The Gold Arch
permanently changes clothing/armor of guests 10' x 10'. Gold arch[abstract tessellations,
to coordinate in the most revealing yet "high chunky], shimmer[purplish, inside arch]
fashion" way possible. Changed garments still
afford the same warmth/protective qualities. Anything passing through the arch teleports
to The Other Gold Arch on the 3rd Floor.
Third Floor

6 6
6 6
4
5 5
6 1 6
2
6 5 3 5 6

6 6
6 6
Room Encounter Motivation Notes
1
2
3
4
5
6
1. The Other Gold Arch 6. The Rooms (d20 table)
10' x 10', gold arch[abstract tessellations, Roll, or drop dice on map to determine ruined
chunky], shimmer[purplish, inside arch] rooms, then roll d20 to determine the feel/
style of non-ruined rooms. The external walls
Anything passing through the arch teleports are ancient floor to ceiling walls of force to
to The Gold Arch on the 2nd Floor. maximize the view of the jungles and island. In
ruined rooms this wall failed, and boltforagers
2. Raised Platform or something awful has probably moved in.
Lapis platform[smooth, blue, gold and
white veins], orange pillars[4, crystalline, d20 Style Motivation
An overgrown private patio
translucent, chunky], stairs[lapis], orange 1 Drinkers decorated with exhibits of
crystal[thick layer throughout] impossible weather
Limestone hearths decorated with
2 Drinkers
3. The Orange Arch 3 Drinkers
exhibits of undead creatures
A stone gazebo in an aquarium
10' x 10', orange arch[crystalline, of aquatic cacti
Limestone hearths in a library of
translucent, chunky, abstract tessellations], 4 Drinkers
mechanical songbirds
shimmer[white, inside arch] Pub booths in an aviary of
5 Drinkers
iridescent beetles
A collection of small beds
Anything passing through the arch teleports 6 Smokers
encircle soil filled pits
to The Other Orange Arch on the 4th Floor. 7 Smokers
Screens of wood and pearls hide
embroidered cotton tents
4. Hotel Lapis 8 Smokers
Enclosed opim beds hide
embroidered cotton tents
Carpet[plush, black, silver constellation 9 Smokers
A collection of small beds hide
small private rooms
patterns], ancient finery[ruined, rotted], 1000 floating lanterns hang
art[defaced, ruined], chandeliers[crystal 10 Smokers
above soil filled pits
tubes, broken, fallen, glowing], A swimming pool made of ever-
11 Dusters
shrinking fractal flowers
rubble[throughout, lapis chunks, statuary A shooting range covered in
fragments], orange crystal[thick layer 12 Dusters
glowing petals
throughout] 13 Dusters A squash court of glowing petals
A dance floor decorated with
14 Dusters
distorted golden statuary
5. Sipopa Bars 15
16
Dusters
Chasers
A gymnasium of kinetic sculpture
A column of ringing glass sarcophagi
Circular bar[alabaster, smooth, 20' 17 Chasers A pile of multicolored sipopa pods
diameter], tall chairs[gold, plush, fallen, bent, 18 Chasers A pile of bladed metal hexagons
broken], pedestal[ceter of bar], broken 19 Chasers Illuminated crystal skull beds
A sphere of floating multi-
statue[alabaster, elf, fragments, shattered, 20 Chasers
colored stasis tubes
no orange crystal on fragments], orange
crystal[thick layer throughout]

In ancient times the statues were bartender/

security golems, but now a days they are the
ALABASTER GUARDIANS.
Fourth Floor

4
7 6
2
3
1

8 5

Room Encounter Motivation Notes

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
The conservatory of extraplanar delights was
once one of the most beautiful gardens in
4. The Glass Vivarium
Glass(?) cube, 7' x 7' x 7'. Embedded into
the multiverse but time has not been kind floor. Miniature pastoral scene within[hills,
to it. Embercoral and salt vine have grown pastures, streams, purple grass, neon green
wild throughout the area leaving most of the fungal "trees", terracotta village of spheres,
floor uninhabitable for mortals except for The 100% self contained]
Opalized Forest[3] and a small strip across the
center of the area where neither plant can firmly Tiny green mold men and their black mildew
establish itself before being killed by the other. dogs tend flocks of fuzzy white mold sheep
in the purple pastures.
1. The Other Orange Arch
10' x 10'. Orange arch[crystalline,
translucent, chunky, abstract tessellations],
5. Pod People
Pods[7, planted in circle, horizontal on
shimmer[white, inside arch] ground, mottled green-brown-yellow, 5' long,
clearly humanoid in shape]
Anything passing through the arch teleports to
The Orange Arch on the 3rd Floor. Pods contain desiccated remain of the last
members of a dying race of plant men.
2. Glory Resuscitation unlikely.
10' statue[alabaster and gold], elf[female,
nude, arms outstretched, triumphant, face
appears rapturous, wavy hair made of gold
6. The Dead Oak
Large tree[reaches ceiling, dead, no leaves,
but moves and feels like hair], dais[lapis, scorched, cracked, 20' diameter, ancient oak]
inset gold elven runes spell "GLORY"] orange
moss[on dais, ambermoss] This is/was a dryad's tree. If not dead, the
dryad should be well beyond insane.
With the correct chime the statue and dais
will rise 10' and open a portal arch to the 7. An Acorn of Yggdrasil
fifth floor observatory. A giant acorn[10', appears to be a bronze
sculpture, rings beautifully if struck]
3. The Opalized Forest
Gravel floor[polished semi-precious tiger's 8. The Gold Grove
eye], pillars(?)[17, trees, no branches, Trees fill area[white bark, black details, gold
naturally petrified/opalized], benches[5, black leaves, real gold, aspen trees], pink boulders
iron, floral styling], jagged boulder[semi- [throughout, pink quartz, translucent]
metallic, like oiled bronze, sleeping spine
dragon], orange moss[on trees and benches] Trees bleed black if cut. All interconnected
by roots and are a single, dying colony.
Standing next to a tree for 30 seconds Leaves are real gold, but only grow once
causes it to split apart in a spectacular and never regrow. If leaves are picked the
fashion to show its insides. Some split branch drips black blood until staunched or
horizontally, some vertically, and some come all connected trees die.
apart into many floating pieces. Information
about the tree and its particular petrification
is engraved on each. Embercoral and salt
vine do not grow on the tiger's eye gravel
because the plants are eaten from time to
time by the spine dragon.
Fifth Floor

4 2
5
1
6
Room Encounter Motivation Notes
1
2
3
4
5
6
1. The Silver Arch zooming, rotating) and basic instructions are
found on the chair. Without training it is easy
10' x 10' silver arch[chunky, abstract
to cause the map to move too rapidly and
tessellations], dark shimmer[inside arch,
induce vertigo in onlookers.
starfields, space]
Specific location maps are low resolution
Anything passing through the arch teleports
and only provide a general feel of the area
to GLORY on the 4th Floor.
(prominent terrain features like mountains or
2. The Empty Museum deserts are typically all that is visible), but
the high level galactic map is exceptionally
Glass walls[clear view of the observatory
beyond], display cases[glass, empty, accurate with stellar distances and locations.
no dust], pedestals[lapis, empty, no
dust], crates[14, wood, contain straw], A secret map showing large chunks of
plaques[gold, elven runes] Ygdrassil's root and branchways can also be
accessed from the chair.
3. The Observatory 6. Disassembled Telescope
Domed roof[gold, 20' to 30' high at apex,
panels on south side appear to open], Stairs[black iron, 10'], golden tube[gold, 20'
stage[center of room, lapis, silvery chair], long, resting on floor, engraved, runes, 28889,
theater seating[low, recline, magically bolted looks like it connects to another (missing)
to floor, seat folds down, distinct seating piece], crates[20, wood], tool chest[fallen,
groupings(gold, basalt, lapis, alabaster)] tools, screws, strewn about]

4. The Star Chair Crates contain: straw, 18.5' mirrors, 2 self

ringing bells, gold gears, gold tubes, gold
Large reclining throne(?)[platinum, chunky,
abstract, covered in runes and star maps] mechanical parts, sheet music[incomplete
symphony]
Sitting in the chair activates the Star Map [5]
and causes engravings on the chair to glow
softly. Speaking while seated causes elven runes
to appear on the map (like a sub title) and can be
clearly heard throughout the entire room.

5. The Star Map

ONLY visible when the Star Chair is in use.
Fills the dome above the stage and darkens
other lights on this floor

Three dimensional map of the galaxy and

the top layer of d10+3 populated planes of
existence. Known portal locations (accurate
as of several thousand years ago) light up
and provide information on how to reach that
destination, what the inhabitants buy/sell, a
count of known elven deaths at the location,
and basic survivability requirements. The
map is controlled by hand gestures (swiping,
Alabaster
Guardians

F
our, 11' tall, golems of translucent white
stone stand on the third floor of the
Lapis Observatory ready to serve
sipopa to the tower's guests. Time has
not been kind to the statues. Their forms
are cracked and broken and their stores
of sipopa ran out long ago. Under normal
circumstances, aside from their larger size,
the Alabaster Guardians are no different
than other singing golems found throughout
the Swordfish Islands. What sets these apart
is the orange sludge found in observatory.

Any orange sludge defeated in the tower but

not thoroughly slain (burned, melted in acid,
frozen and shattered, etc.) furtively retreats
up to the third floor and into one of the
guardians. When the sludge has regenerated
sufficient bodily mass (2d12 hours) it will
awake, and in its sipopa starved insanity,
believe itself to be a beautiful elf once more.
The sludge filled guardian will normally want
to leave the tower and return to its posh
home, so the statue will walk downstairs.

As of this time, none of the oozing guardians

have managed to leave the observatory, or
make it past the ballroom on the second
floor. The ballroom's floor to ceiling mirrors of
idealized self have thus far enraptured every
sludge attempting to pass with perfect visions
of their old form. Standing still and unfocused
for a prolonged time causes the sludge to drip
out of the statue, and once the golem is no
longer under the elf's control, it will return to its
post on the third floor.

What do they want?

•  To destroy beautiful non-elven humanoids
•  To collect beautiful objects
•  To be friends with other elves and
commiserate with their new friends about
how beautiful they are and how tough it is
to be so beautiful in a world that doesn't
have the capacity to understand
•  To get laid (has a "You're welcome I'm
interested" mentality)

What do they NOT want?

•  To see what it actually looks like
•  To be rejected
•  To feel slighted, irrelevant, or ignored
•  To not get the joke (over the top
laughter at the wrong time)
•  To see the truly ugly or deformed
•  To see sipopa use

What else?
The wants and not wants of the Alabaster Guardians
are considerably flexible and should reflect the
personality of an insane elf who has lost much and
now thinks it has regained it.

If orange sludges are rapidly defeated inside

the Lapis Observatory up to six sludge remnants
will inhabit the same guardian. This is sufficient
biomass to control a guardian without needing to
spend any time regenerating. The most dominant
personality will control the guardian and will
probably be considerably angry.

The sight of dwarves makes the ooze filled

statues physically ill as they're all just so
reprehensibly ugly.

The orange sludge is capable of inhabitins

other broken singing golems as they do
the Alabaster Guardians. They prefer the
guardians however because of their size,
beauty and "status".
Plants

Ember Coral Salt Vine

Growing as tall as 7’, the otherworldliness of ember The grey, ropey plant known as salt vine produces
coral is undeniable. Its forking, tree like branches, clusters of transparent crystals in place of
resemble many of the larger corals dredged up from leaves and flowers that absorb moisture from
the Shorken Reef on their way to become jewelry anything they touch. As the crystals drink up
for Banuvish nobility, but unlike those watery their surroundings they gradually change to a
corals of pale yellows and deep pinks, ember coral milky white and cease to function. Librarians
grows on land and resembles cooling lava flows. Its and curators pay top coin for salt vine to protect
branches of ashy black, cool to the touch, are split their collections from moisture and some chefs
with a myriad of cracks that pulse and glow with and butchers use it as a secret ingredient in jerky
the unquenchable red’s and gold’s of a blacksmith’s production. The crystals should be handled with
forge. The dull black “bark” of ember coral is as extreme care however as a single handful can
dense and strong as steel, and if properly harvested suck all the water out of a human in about four
and shaped, can maintain its soft glow. One foot of hours. All known attempts to transplant a salt vine
properly treated ember coral produces illumination have resulted in the deaths of the adventurers
equivalent to a single beeswax candle. digging it up. The plant cannot survive without
its root system, but once the roots are exposed to
Ember corals defend themselves like any other air they rapidly drain all moisture within a radius of
coral (by extruding their threadlike guts and about 10’. When alive, the roots of a salt vine seem
digesting their foes) only they do it in real time to be unquenchable, and if the plant is killed, will
and add fire. Search “fighting corals” videos retain their draining aura for upwards of a week.
online for more ideas on how this could play out.
 touching the same spot on the plant. Once
Sipopa a person has been poisoned by ambermoss
they will experience the same reaction in any
subsequent encounters. While the effects are
temporary they can last up to four hours. The
liquid, toxic or not, is an incredible lubricant.

d12 Ambermoss Effects

1.  You hear the sound of bees buzzing constantly.

2. Things seem normal, but when a person you

care about speaks all you can hear is awful noise.

3. Your vision is inverted. Constant nausea and

penalties to actions requiring sight.

The elves turned sipopa into a variety of drugs 4.  All living creatures appear to you as being inside
that greatly augmented their magical abilities. out, and you can smell it all. On the plus side, you
None grows in the observatory, but it defined can check everyone for tumors.
their culture and artistic references to it abound.
5. You are struck blind whenever you attempt
It is a bushy, medium sized plant (3' - 5' in
to do something significant. The rest of the time,
diameter) with thorny branches, and leaves that are
everything is tinged orange.
almost black. The flowers are fuzzy and vibrantly
orange and, when pollinated, drip nectar.
6. There is orange powder all over your body.
And in your things. And in your hair. And under
Ambermoss your feet. And you can't get rid of it.

7. In order to move any of your appendages you

must concentrate on it directly (e.g., "I pick up my
left foot and leg and set it on the ground in front
of my current position.").

8. You can feel everything. Every hair. Every dust

mite crawling in your nose. Every itching fiber in
your clothing. Only total nudity, shaving off all of
your body hair and a strong constant wind can
bring you anything resembling relief.

9.  You are compelled to vocalize every thought. All

the time and in any circumstance. No matter how
petty or inappropriate it may be.

Ambermoss grows throughout the observatory 10. You are mortally afraid of water. And the
usually above doorways and archways where color orange. If you see orange colored water you
it can hang and move freely. Its texture is like a must immediately save or lose half your health
fine cotton velvet, but great care should be taken and be stunned for d6 minutes.
to avoid touching it with bare skin as the moss
secretes a translucent orange liquid of exceptional 11.  You are compelled to speak obscenities in the
toxicity. The effects of the poison begin to take presence of holy people, places or objects until they
effect in as little as fifteen minutes and can have leave your line of sight.
vastly different effects on two different people
12. You have severe narcolepsy
Monsters

are replaced by hollow fangs. The hair on the

Astral Spinners host's head turns an iridescent beetle black and
grows to a length of at least 300 feet, and the host's
Astral spinners and their hosts are a sort of eyes change to glowing, liquid filled orbs of red, blue
aberrant symbiote attracted to the ripples of planar or purple. The orbs cause extreme irritation unless
disturbance caused by frequent, rapid, magical travel. plucked out, and the hungrier a host is, the faster
Although their webs are located on the physical plane, these globes grow back (2d4 -1 hours).
spinners dwell in the astral on their host.
Baby astral spinners (the size of a thumbnail) are
When a web is disturbed, d4 spiders appear vomited forth by the host in groups of 50 to 100,
and investigate. Scouts attempt to goad stuck one to two times a day. These silver babies grow
creatures into becoming completely immobile. rapidly, killing and consuming one another until they
Sections of a body wrapped in the silver are large enough to claim an orb. Astral spinners
webbing appear transparent, phasing into the with orbs, nest in the hair of the host, weaving it into
astral. Webbing can be cut away by normal elaborate hives and do not fight or kill each other.
weapons until the body has been fully wrapped
at which point only magical weapons can sever The true curse of the host is that it does not
the transparent bonds. When their target is remember its past until it feeds, at which point
completely wrapped the host begins to feed, all the old memories rush back, momentarily
sucking the fluids from the squirming, fully paralyzing it with total clarity and despair.
wrapped and fully astral creature. After all bodily
fluids have been drained, the desiccated corpse is
returned and the webbing begins to disintegrate.

The thorax of every spinner holds a glowing,

liquid filled orb of red, blue or purple. If the liquid
is consumed it causes the imbiber to astrally
project for d4 hours. There are no apparent
negative side effects to this consumption (the
juice tastes like candy), but consuming too much
(perhaps 12 uses) they and are transformed into a
host over d6 days and become fully astral.

The new host's body emaciates and stretches one

to two feet. Fingers and toes lengthen by at least
six inches. Ears, nose and nails fall off, and teeth
 blue skies so they rarely take wing in broad
Blindfire Vine daylight. They hunt most frequently from skies
painted by sunrise or sunset when their wings will
blend with the pinks and oranges. A bony yellow
ridge protrudes in a long spike over the creature's
beak, and the small feathers covering its head
resemble a furry mohawk from a distance. The
birds stink of death and their feathers emit clouds
of dust with each wingflap.

Boltforagers only eat dead, rotted creatures, but

that doesn't mean they don't help make them that
way. The birds attempt to impale targets with
their horn or rake with their talons. They flap their
wings vigerously during these attacks creating
clouds of orange dust before flying away. This
dust contains the eggs of a species of carniverous
worm that hatches 3 to 5 days after entering the
blood stream of a warm blooded creature. Once
Feathery leaves cover the core of the blindfire inside a host, the worms bore into the victims
vine disguising a circular maw ringed with long bones, consuming the juicy marrow within. This
teeth used to chew its prey. About a dozen vines, process kills the host and causes the worms to
dotted with red flowers and orange peppers, produce an abundance of foul smelling gas that
snake from the central cluster. The ends of some bubbles out of the corpse, attracting boltforagers
vines widen into a diamond shaped leaf like to their decaying meal.
structures with a barb covered underside to help
the plant grasp its prey. Crystal Frog
Blindfire peppers are flavorful and spicy and a
number of cook-offs and festivals have sprung
up in Swordfish Bay that celebrate or make use
of them. The more a blindfire vine or carpet kills,
the spicier and more prized its peppers become,
especially around festival time.

Boltforagers
Magical constructs capable of reproducing, these
tiny frogs of clear, angular crystal are usually no
larger than a human's thumb. The frogs will bond
with intelligent creatures, similar to a mundane
dog or cat, and a tiny heart beating within
changes color to match its owner's mood. Instead
of croaking like a normal frog, crystal frogs twitter
and chirp like a nightingale.

Crystal frogs enjoy being bonded with an

intelligent creature that will give them attention.
If a frog has chosen to stay with a creature, and
feels well treated, it can heal its owner of one
Brick red feathers covered in light orange dust disease, curse or poison each day by singing a
cause boltforagers to stand out against tropical special song in their ear.
 territory and communicate with them
Muttering Serpent telepathically. The serpents tend to use
No one knows what the head of this large questions exclusively, and almost constantly
serpent, covered in mirror like scales, when communicating with potential
actually looks like as it always appears as victims. The target of this barrage hears
the observers head, even in death. The the questions as if they were being said
mirror like scales shift to match the muttering by their own voice. A single serpent can
serpent’s surroundings providing it with communicate with up to eight individuals at
excellent natural camouflage when not in once, and seeks to separate and turn party
motion. The serpent secretes an oil, smelling members against one another. When a victim
like fresh wood shavings, allowing it to finally sees a muttering serpent they will be
silently glide through its territory. alone as their own face unhinges its jaw to
consume them.
Muttering serpents are extremely territorial
and consider any entry into their domain as
an affront, despite the fact they take great
pains to ensure their territory is unmarked. “When death finally
When a serpent detects trespass they slink
silent through the territory to determine comes, the last eyes
who or what disturbed them. Unintelligent
interlopers are eaten immediately and you want to see are
intelligent creatures are played with.
Muttering serpents can read the surface your own.”
thoughts of intelligent creatures in their
 Orange Sludge What else?
Sludges prefer to be where they will be
The orange sludge that gloops and schlorps protected from the elements.
about the Swordfish Islands used to be elves.
When the cataclysm struck, those at the height As they move, they leave behind translucent
of a sipopa bender, melted and deformed into orange residue. In darkness (or even shadow)
slop. Hate filled, ravenous, violently insane it hardens like amber. This has preserved
slop. The sludge hungers for sipopa. Fiends for many delicate elven artifacts (wood, cloth,
it in a way that only Tantalus can understand, paper) that should have rotted away long ago
yet cannot consume it. in transparent orange crystal. In sunlight this
crystal melts and evaporates completely.
The insanity of the orange sludges stems
from a couple of reasons. First, they are Instead of attacking with shapeless
elves. Ageless things that were once pseudopods like common slimes and oozes,
beautiful and powerful, but are now orange sludge strikes out with vaguely
anything but. They miss their bodies and humanoid appendages (heads, legs, bones,
hate their forms and their mind has snapped hands, etc).
accordingly. Second, each sludge suffers
from a permanent negative effect because Some sludges will inhabit broken golems to
of their unfulfillable sipopa addiction. These try to be a normal elf.
manifest in different ways, see the d12
Ambermoss Effects table. Seeing their reflection, or an elf, throws
orange sludges into a ballistic rage. If they
In many ways, sludges are one big sensory kill an elf they will spend a great deal of
organ. They can smell sipopa from long time with the body trying in vain to shape
distances and are drawn to it, even though themselves into its image.
they cannot consume it. When they are
hit, it hurts. Tremendously. The rain stings
them. The wind burns them. Loud noises are
explosions and in their burning and twisted
despair they must engulf the offender and
make. it. ALL. STOP.

What do they want?

•  Sipopa
•  To be what they were, find what they
lost, and go home
•  To take their agony out on the world

What do they NOT want?

•  This continued existence
•  To die
•  To experience pain
•  To be reminded of what they were, and
what they lost
•  To see their reflection
•  To see anyone using sipopa, or making
motions similar to using
 door unlocked by a chime of gold would normally be
Singing Golems adorned with gold in some way. Symbols on or around
the object might also indicate the resonant frequency
The Isle of Light was a place without keyholes. This required for opening, but this is not guaranteed and a
is not to say the elves did not lock up their homes or knowledge of both the elves' language and music would
valuables. Quite the opposite. Their mechanisms were likely be necessary for decoding. All the locks can be brute
often complex to the point of absurdity. Instead of forced (they're more mechanical than magical), but
using keys to manipulate a lock's tumblers however, the would still require a chime (or chimes) of the correct
elves struck enchanted metal tubes near the door or material and resonant frequency. Elves typically
object they wished to open and let sound do the work. only kept important and showy chimes on their
person, using singing golems (chime filled stone
Most chimes were simple metal objects, but porcelain, golems) as their mobile key rings. Show chimes
bone, wood, crystal and other materials came into became increasingly important cultural objects in
use as different fashions rose and fell. Individual the centuries leading up to the cataclysm with elves
chimes were often attuned to a single door or chest, constantly striving to shock and awe one another
but could be setup like regular keys. For example, an with the latest prestidigitative memes.
elf might have a chime that opens every lock in her
house and a separate one for her lab. If she stayed in After the elven population was almost completely
a swanky hotel she would receive a chime to her room annihilated, they turned to golems to help maintain
(and maybe a separate one for the sipopa minibar) their civilization. Almost all golems made by the
and the hotel staff would have a skeleton chime for all elves were stone with cavities in their chest or head
the locks. Locked objects were typically inlaid with to hold some of their master's chimes. Early golems
decorations of the same material as their chime, so a were exceptionally simple and utilitarian, but models
grew more decadent and elaborate along with society.

Many golems remain in good working order

and, being simple automatons, attempt to carry
out their last programmed routine before the
cataclysm occurred. Very few singing golems were
programmed or equipped to fight but (contrary to
popular belief) all golems will defend themselves
against attacks (as a normal stone golem) unless
specifically programmed otherwise.

d6 Chime Effects
1.  The user is surrounded by a light fog while in
possession of the chime.

2. A small raincloud forms over anyone currently

in a bad mood (50’ radius)

3. Paper flowers bloom from the ground and are

consumed by golden flame that does not burn.

4.  Closures on clothing of members of the opposite

sex of the user (within 30’) come undone

5. Rings mundanely, but if a different chime was

rung <1 minute before, the holder of that chime is
covered in orange paint

6. All members of the same sex as the user within

20’ become clean, groomed, oiled, and perfumed
NPCs
a robe of living woven blindfire vine. He speaks to the
animals and laughs with the trees. Even though he has
a deeper connection to nature than his fellow man,
he is kind hearted and always offers a warm smile and
helping hand. Just wields a gnarled staff of ash and
calls upon nature for aid in combat.

Gretchen (wizard): A powerful

hydromancer drawn to Hot Springs Island due to
legends of mythical aquifers. Gretchen has red
hair and blue eyes, but they are hardly ever seen
as she dresses in robes and veils of dark green set
with crystals on tinkling chains. She is an adjunct
professor at the Royal College of Banuvo and
her plan had been to secure a number of grants
for (what she hoped would be) ground breaking
research. Unfortunately, her first drill hole unleashed
a torrent of crystal back wydarr and her party
Claire (wizard): The first apprentice to was slaughtered. Not content to simply survive,
a powerful wizard flung to Hot Springs Island Gretchen maps springs on the island and knows
when her spell was interrupted by witch hunters. the complete lay of the land in d4 hexes. The nereid
Claire has platinum blonde hair, green eyes and Daphne has begun to secretly observe Gretchen, and
a terrible sun burn that her tattered blue-grey plans to enlist her aid if she proves to be a true water
robe and floppy green palm frond hat do little friend. Gretchen wields an enchanted staff with crystal
to prevent. She was attempting to summon a inlays and each night she suspends herself from the
creature to protect herself and her master from branches of a tree, in an orb of water, to sleep.
witch hunters, but Neville (one of the hunters)
disturbed her in the spell's final moments and the Ulysses (fighter): The only survivor of a
two were flung to this remote place. They overcame group that came to Hot Springs Island to find
their differences in order to survive and after a series living statues made of gold. Ulysses wears a steel
of adventures have fallen in love. In addition to an breastplate over studded leather armor and has
exceptional intellect, Claire wields an ancient elven black hair and noble features. In the ruins of Hot
spell book she found in the ruins of Hot Springs City Springs City spiders appeared from nowhere,
and a slim metal wand of lightning. wrapped and ate his party (Astral Spinners).
Ulysses was wrapped up too, but his enchanted
Neville (fighter): Oldest son of an ancient sword and martial prowess saved his hide once
family of witch hunters. Neville was part of an again. He managed to recover the map the party
expedition to kill Claire's arcane master, but leader had been following and he plans to hunt the
during the battle he disrupted her spell and they statues once he figures out how to get off this rock.
both wound up on Hot Springs Island. He has Ulysses fights with an enchanted long sword that
chestnut colored skin and smooth, black shoulder grows hotter and hotter the more he fights with it.
length hair. His clothes and armor were once bright
red, but they are stained and streaked with mud. He
has come to love and respect Claire deeply during
their time on the island, and never wants to go back
home. Neville is terrifying with a spear, and he currently
wields a golden model with a superheated head.

Jus (druid): A flock of starlings came to Jus as

he wandered the wetlands of his homeland and told
him of a dying dryad trapped on an island half a world
away. He left immediately and wanders the jungles of
Hot Springs Island seeking the dryad nature called him
to find [4th floor]. Jus is a large, jolly man who wears
A Selection of
Elven Treasures Illustrations by Eric Quigley

J
ewels, coins, hoards, treasure chests, cash
and bullion are not detailed because the
way gold values tie into experience can vary
substantially across game systems. As you design
cash treasure parcels for your groups these are the
core assumptions we have when we run Swordfish
Islands. To bastardize Coleridge:

Money, money, everywhere, Barren Mother: A fist sized porcelain statue

The adventurers did roam of a naked, weeping pregnant elf. If it is gifted
Money, money, everywhere, to a woman who has borne no children she
But how to get it home?
will become barren. If it is gifted to a pregnant
The elves were loaded like gods and fetishized woman she will miscarry before the sun sets.
gold. It’s everywhere. Gold gold gold gold gold! Blank Crimson Tome: A hardbound tome of
Some areas of their ruins could easily be plated in crimson leather bound with a platinum clasp.
it. It was so abundant that it was boring. As their The pages are empty but if held and the phrase
civilization tapped into the extra-dimensional “I demand [BOOK NAME]” is spoken, it will
markets they could access whatever they fill with a copy of the book demanded.
wanted and as time went on, the true currency
became attention. Surviving the ruins and getting Box of Bladed Scars: An ornate gold box
cash back to civilization should be difficult and engraved with scenes of nude figures in martial
problematic, but a couple of successful show up, combat. All engraved figures have a distinctive spiral
loot, and leave missions could absolutely lead to tattoo on their forearm. The box contains six belt
wide scale inflation and economic destabilization sized strips of fresh, bloody skin branded with elven
back in the home country, echoing Spain’s conquest runes. Two say long sword. Two say short sword.
of the New World. Consequences and Chaos! Two say dagger. If a strip is held it will start to move
towards its holder’s dominant forearm. If it is
not stopped it will spiral around the arm, fuse
to the flesh, and turn bright orange. Once
fused, a flick of the wrist will place the weapon
in the dominant hand. The weapons are silver, and
vanish after 10 minutes of inactivity.
Daphnee’s Vambrace: A delicate, decorative Honeypot of Hallucination: A glass jar decorated
gold gauntlet. Any article of clothing or outfit with tiny platinum bees and holding a platinum
(but not jewelry) touched by the gauntlet honeycomb shaped dipper. Any honey placed in
will be consumed and stored. If the wearer the jar becomes highly hallucinogenic. Whoever
says “clothe me”, the gauntlet will dress them holds the dipper can control and guide the
in something fresh and stylish. Up to 65 tons of hallucinations of all who have eaten the honey.
clothing can be stored this way, and the glove can
vomit forth a torrent of clothing the wearer has Lucid Dreamer’s Blackout Bag: A hood of
stored but now consideres outdated. Once expelled fine silver mesh with no face hole that can
however, the gauntlet will refuse to consume those be easily mistaken for a bag. Wearers will
clothes again, for its wearer’s own good. believe they are in a forest where everything
is made of candy and the evil sun threatens to
melt it all. In this state the wearer’s body will go
completely limp (as if asleep). The hood cannot
be removed unless another pulls it off (1 hour of
severe disorientation), the wearer defeats the
sun, or the wearer realizes they are dreaming
and takes full control.

Embroidered Bloodcoat: A slender short coat

of deep red with geometric black embroidery
on the cuffs. The coat never dirties, but as
fresh blood is spilled upon it, the embroidery
grows and expands. The coat cannot be
removed until it is completely black, which
takes about 10 humans worth of blood.
Ornamental Short Sword: An ornamental
Gold Faceball: A smooth sphere of gold about short sword of silver and onyx made to
the size of a human head. When held with resemble two highly stylized birds with
both hands a face extrudes and (d6): crossed beaks. Their entangled feet decorate
the hilt, a wing of each make the crossguard,
1. Yells your deepest, most scandalous secret. and their other wing rises up to make the
2-5. Vomits forth a cloud of 100 translucent, blade.
iridescent butterflies.
6. Yells the deepest, darkest, most scandalous Pipe Bombs: A polished wooden box with
secret of your sworn social enemy. velvet lining and six glass pipes. The clear
glass of the pipes contains free floating
For a time, this was an exceptionally popular metallic specks of color that drift and swirl
game on the Isle of Light. constantly. Any smokeable substance put
into the pipe will catch immediately. The
pipes will not break if dropped, but if they
are purposefully thrown or crushed they
explode like a couple of fireballs.
Swordfish IslaNds
.com, f