GRADE 11

UNIT 8: SELF RELIANCE

Meaning of self-reliance

 Self-reliance is the ability to do things and make decision by your, instead of

relying on others.
 Self-reliance is the ability to support and take care of your-self and to make
decisions independently.
 It means to be free from the undesirable influence and control of others.
 Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world. Even your shadow leaves you
when you are in darkness.
 It is the ability to develop the skills to be independent both in our thinking and in
the way that we live.
 Free ourselves from being dominated by others.
 Emerson now focuses on four social arenas in which self-reliant individuals are
needed: religion, which fears creativity; culture, which devalues individualism; the
arts, which teach us only to imitate; and society, which falsely values so-called
progress
 Self-reliance is being true to self and is lived by being responsible, disciplined, and
confident while staying connected to one's cultural roots. The three concepts of
self-reliance are (a) being responsible, (b) being disciplined, and (c) being confident.
 “Self-reliance & individualism” means “reliance on oneself; independence; emphasis
on individual strengths and accomplishments.
 It the ability or the art to solve problems and make decisions for your-self.
 You feel happy by yourself, in yourself, and about yourself—without needing to rely
on others.
 Self-reliance is a quality of depending on your-self for things instead of relying on
others
A bird sitting in a tree is not afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not
in the branch but in her own wings.
It is the ability to depend on oneself through the effective use of one’s power,
resources and judgments.
Self-reliance is about trusting in one's own abilities and resources.
Steps to Self- Reliance
Here are tips to promote self- reliance:
1) Be your best friend
Support yourself 100% and focus on your strengths and achievements. Self-reliant
people make the best of them and don’t put themselves down. They realize that they
aren’t perfect but they make the most of what they have.

2) Quiet Confidence
  Self-reliant people don’t need to tell anyone who will listen about their positive
attributes.
 They don’t need to prove themselves to anyone.
 They are kind, calm and collected.
 They are comfortable with themselves and feel happy in their own skins.

3) Discretion

Discretion means the freedom to decide what should be done in a particular situation.
It is a science or understanding to discern between falsity and truth, between right and
wrong, between shadows and substance, between equity and colorable glasses and
pretenses and not to do according to their will and private affection.
It is the power or ability to make a choice among different actions or alternatives.
Self-reliance means you have the ability to look inwards for strength.

4) Monitor Neediness

Take responsibility for your own life instead of leaning on others too much. When you
count on others too much, you deny yourself the chance to figure things out for
yourself and you also deny yourself the opportunity to develop the confidence that
comes along with knowing you can make decisions and stand by them. Personal
responsibility is an important aspect of self-reliance. We all need others at times but
be careful not to adopt a belief that you cannot get by without help from others – a
very self-limiting place to be.

5) Self-Acceptance (self-love)

 Understand who you are as a person, accept your boundaries as a person.

 The awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses
 It is the ability to accept both your strengths and your personal faults without
judgment.
 Being able to see yourself fairly, accurately and recognize what you are and
aren’t good at.
 Seeing your-self as a whole human being, rather than defining your-self by any
one characteristic, ability, or weakness.
 Being able to love and respect your-self.
 This means you have to accept whom you are completely from the inside and
outside, both positive and negative. Did you know that everything in life, include
human beings, there is always two sides to everything. For example, the color black
cannot exist without the color white.
 A left cannot exist without a right side. In this case, you cannot have positive qualities
without negative qualities. So if you want to keep your positive qualities, you have to
accept your negative qualities.
 It the term positive exists, then the term negative has to exist.
 You cannot have one without the other. If you try to delete one, the other will also be deleted.
 Self- acceptance is not self-esteem.
It’s Importance
Helps you feel better about yourself and it make you feel capable of dealing with life’s challenges.
 Attributes of Self-reliant people
Self-reliant peoples have the following unique features or qualities.

1. Self- Confidence (believing in oneself)

 Self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities.
 It means you accept and trust yourself and have a sense of control in your life.
 You know your strengths and weakness well, and have a positive view of yourself.
 You set realistic expectations and goals, communicate assertively, and can handle criticism.
 They do not change their mind without sufficient reasons.
Self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. It means you accept and trust
yourself and have a sense of control in your life. You know your strengths and weakness well,
and have a positive view of yourself. You set realistic expectations and goals, communicate
assertively, and can handle criticism.

One's self confidence increases from experiences of having

satisfactorily completed particular activities. It is a positive belief that
in the future one can generally accomplish what one wishes to do.
Self-confidence is not the same as self-esteem, which is an evaluation
of one's own worth, whereas self-confidence is more specifically trust
in one's ability to achieve some goal, which one meta-analysis
suggested is similar to generalization of self-efficacy.

How self -confident are you?

High Self Confidence
– Do what you believeto be right, even if cri5cized for it
– Willing to take risks
– Admit your mistakes and learn from them
– Extol your virtues often
– Accept compliments Graciously: “Thanks, I really worked hard on
that paper.”

Low Self Confidence

– Govern your behavior based on what others think

– Stayin your comfort zone
– Work hard to cover up your mistakes
– Wait for others to congratulate you
– Dismiss compliments: “Oh that paper was nothing really, anyone
could have done it.”

2. Self-respect (having a high regard for one self)

 Involves accepting your-self the way you are.
 is loving your-self and treating yourself with care.
 Self-respect is… • Firstly, you should know yourself • you should believe in
yourself • you should learn your strength sides • you should learn your
weakness sides • You must trust yourself • You must improve your abilities.
 They love and respect themselves and others.
 It is important; because if a person does not believe in her/himself she/he
cannot be successful in her/his life; People should believe in themself!

4. Ways to Respect Yourself • you should improve your expertise. • You should detect
your strengths sides. • Forget about your bad experiences. • Think about what you
exactly want.

Teach others how to treat you by first treating your-self with respect; if you do
not respect your-self, it will be hard to demand that others treat you with respect

Self-Concept :( positive self-concept)

 is the attitudes and feelings of a person’s towards himself.
 Your view of your-self; the entire pictures
 Not innate but are formed through the learning process and generate from the
process of individual interactions with the environment continuously
 Self-concept is the self- knowledge we have about ourselves in various aspects
such as physical characteristics.
 Thus, self- concept is multi-dimensional. One way of capturing the
multidimensionality of self -concept is to see it as composed of:

Physical Self- concept – It includes the image of one’s body, appearance, its
attractiveness, e.g., How do I look? Am I attractive? Which part of the body am I
most happy with? Which part of the body I am not happy with?

Psychological Self- concept – It includes one’s personality traits, abilities, weaknesses,

level of adjustment, e.g., Am I smart, rude, anxious, honest, outgoing, good in chess,
art, or pathetic in sports? Can I take care of myself?

Attitudinal Self- concept–It includes one’s values, beliefs, convictions, ideals,

philosophy of life, e.g., Am I a cautious spender or a spend thrift? Do I like a life full of
excitement and change or safe, secure life? Do I support inter caste marriages or
marriages within caste?

Essentially it includes the following aspects that consists of

1. How do people observe themselves?

2. How do people think about themselves?
3. How do people rate themselves?

2. IT IS ORGANIZED
- STABLE
-RESIST CHANGE

1. It is Learned 3. It is dynamic
- Not instrictive -continuous
-Social product- process
developed through -direction for
experience behaviour

Qualities
of self-
concept

SELF-ESTEEM

 Self-esteem is a way of thinking, feeling, and acting that implies that

you accept, respect, and believe in yourself.
 Part of self-esteem is knowing that you are important enough to take
good care of yourself by making good choices for yourself. For
example, choosing nutritious food for your body, exercising, giving
yourself time to relax, etc.
 Self-esteem doesn’t mean you think you are better or more important
than other people are, it means that you respect and value yourself as
much as other people.
 Self-esteem needs to come from within and not be dependent on
external sources such as material possessions, your status, or approval
from others.
 Having self-esteem also means you don’t have to put other people
down to feel good about yourself.

Signs of high self-esteem Signs of low self-esteem

- Confidence, Ability to solve problems - Perfectionistic attitude
- Self-direction - Lack of confidence
- Independent and cooperative attitude - Negative view of life

- Non-blaming behavior - Fear of being ridiculed

- Ability to set boundaries and say no - Distorted view of self and others
- Awareness of personal strengths - Blaming behavior
- Ability to make mistakes and learn from - Fear of taking appropriate risks
them
- Ability to accept mistakes from others - Feelings of being unloved and unlovable
- Optimism, Good sense of personal - Dependence on others to make
limitations decisions
 Self-awareness
 It refers to conscious knowledge of one’s own character and feelings.
 It is an understanding of who you are and how you behave.
 Self-Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality,
including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and
emotions
 Self- awareness is the ability to understand that the self is separate
from others.
 Self-awareness includes recognition of our abilities, strengths and
weaknesses.
 On a broader scale, self-awareness allows a person to answer the
following questions:
1. Who am I?
2. What do I want now or in the future?
3. What should I do next?
4. What do I think about a particular topic/situation?
5. How do I feel (physically and emotionally) right now?
Self-awareness happens through the various areas listed below:
a. Sensory Data: Assessing the five senses (taste, touch, smell, hear, feel)
b. Thoughts: Analyzing the self and the world based on beliefs,
assumptions, opinions, etc.
c. Feelings: Deciphering what a person is feeling and labeling that
emotion
d. Actions: Looking at past and present behaviors/experiences while
assessing future promises and plans
e. Wants: Identifying the desires of the self- versus others
Self-Awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive
you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment.
You understand your own boundaries and limitations. Therefore, you are
comfortable saying no

Self-awareness boosts your confidence.

It used to discover your strengths, weaknesses, and personality type.

Productivity is another benefit of self-awareness. Being able to control

your emotions means you replace reactivity with proactivity
Developing self-awareness can help us to recognize when we are stressed
or under pressure. It is also often a prerequisite for effective
communication and interpersonal relations, as well as for developing
empathy for others.

Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel,

see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place.
Essentially, it is putting your-self in someone else's position and feeling
what they are feeling.
Affective empathy involves the ability to understand another person's
emotions and respond appropriately. Feeling concerned for another
person's well-being, or it may lead to feelings of personal distress.
Somatic Empathy: the ability to feel what another person is feeling.
Cognitive empathy: thinking about what other people are thinking.
It the ability to understand someone’s response to a situation

EMPHATHY SYMPHATHY

 Ability to understand and identify  Feelings of sorrow and pity for

another person’s situations and someone else’s misfortune
feelings

 Can understand another’s situations  Cannot understand another’s situations

 May have similar experience in the  Does not have similar experience
past

 Understanding and acceptance are  Pity, sorrow and concern are evoked
evoked

 Just listen  Give unasked advice

NOTE

Self- awareness does not inform the following points

do not think of yourself more highly than you should.

In other words, do not have a superiority attitude.
Rather have a moderate view of your strengths.
On the other hand do not exaggerate your weaknesses and look down on yourself,
but do not excuse you r weaknesses.
Developing Self Awareness

1. Look at yourself objectively. ...

2. Keep a journal. ...

3. Write down your goals, plans, and priorities. ...
4. Perform daily self-reflection. ...
5. Practice meditation and other mindfulness habits. ...
6. Take personality and psychometric tests. ...
7. Ask trusted friends to describe you

Communication styles

1. Assertiveness :results in an “I win; you win” outcome

 Assertiveness is a communication style.
 It is the capacity or being able to express your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and
opinions in an open manner that doesn’t violate the rights of others.
 Being assertive does not mean that you always get what you want.
 In fact being assertive is not a guarantee of any outcome at all. Being assertive is
about expressing yourself in a way that respects both your needs and the needs of
others.
 Sometimes this means you get what you want, sometimes you won’t get what you
want at all and sometimes you will come to a mutually satisfactory compromise.

Assertive behavior includes:

 Taking a positive role in conversations;

 Sharing feelings, opinions and experiences with others;
 Making requests and asking for favours;
 Refusing others’ requests if they are too demanding;
 Questioning rules or traditions that do not make sense or do not seem
fair;
 Addressing issues that bother you.
Being assertive:
 Can lead to a more rewarding life
  it can improve your relationships with friends and family, and
introduce you to new personal or career opportunities.
 While the decision to develop your assertiveness is a personal one,
the rewards can be much greater than personal satisfaction.
 Being assertive not only improves your self-respect, but also earns
you respect from others.
 The change in your behavior can positively influence those around
you, both in their behavior toward you and towards others.

Passive communicators
 do not defend their own personal boundaries.
 They allow other people to harm or unduly influence them.
 They are unlikely to risk trying to influence anyone else
Aggressive
 is when someone stands up for their own rights without regard for
others.
 Aggressive behavior results in an “I win; you lose” outcome.
 Aggression is self-expression that demands, attacks, or humiliates
other people, generally in a way which shows lack of respect for
others.
 Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others
and thus are liable to harm others while isolating themselves as a
consequence.
Passive Person Assertive Person Aggressive Person
Is afraid to speak up Speaks openly Interrupts-‘talks over‛ others
Speaks softly Uses a conversational tone Speaks loudly
with confidence
Looks down or away Maintains good eye contact Glares and stares at others
Shows little or no Shows expressions that Shows aggressive/threatening
expression match the message expressions
Slouches and Relaxes and adopts an Stands rigidly, crosses arms,
withdraws open posture and invades others‛ personal space
expressions
Agrees with others, Mixes well with groups Controls groups
despite feelings
Sees self as inferior Values self- equal to others Looks down on others
Generally, self-reliant people:
 Do not change their mind without sufficient reasons.
 have self-respect;
 Love and respect themselves and others.
 Also appreciate the good work of others.
 Do not think that they know everything.
 As they also know their weaknesses, they are ready to learn from others.
 Has a good relationship with other people, be it in school, the workplace or in the
community.
 Have good social relationships and social skills when living and working with others.
 Know that they always do what they say and they make wise decisions.
 Do not feel inferior to others.
 Know that they have some good qualities.
 Also know that they are capable of contributing something to the welfare of others.
Dependency and its Consequences
What is Dependency?
Dependency is the notion that an individuals or a country fully relies on the
support of other countries and international organizations in many
different ways.
 They may rely on them for food donations, financial donations and
skill support.
 It refers to lack of the ability to make decision and to support and
take care of your-self independently.
 Dependency is a belief that people or groups cannot solve their own
problems without outside help.
 It is the habit that can weaken your ability to stand on your own.
Is it ever a good thing to be totally self-reliant or totally dependent on others? No,
and all of us exist on a spectrum between dependency and self-reliance . But the
extremes of dependency – where we have a hard time knowing who we are, sticking to
and achieving goals, and taking care of our needs – are not a healthy place to be
(Bacon et al., 2020).

Being overly reliant on others, focused on others’ needs, and having

trouble making decisions on one’s own are sometimes called being
codependent (Bacon et al., 2020).

Goal dependency
In a Goal-dependency, the depender depends on the dependee to bring
about a certain state in the world. በግብ-ጥገኛነት፣ ጥገኞች በአለም ላይ የተወሰነ ሁኔታ ለማምጣት
በአስጊዎቹ ላይ ይመረኮዛሉ።

The dependee is given the freedom to choose how to do it. ጥገኛው እንዴት
ማድረግ እንዳለበት የመምረጥ ነፃነት ተሰጥቶታል።

With a goal dependency, the depender gains the ability to assume that
the condition or state of the world will hold, but becomes vulnerable since
the dependee may fail to bring about that condition.(p14)

Under goal dependency, the dependee is free to, and is expected to make
whatever decisions are necessary to achieve the goal (the dependum).
(p15)

Task dependency

In a Task dependency, the depender depends on the dependee to carry

out an activity. በተግባር ጥገኝነት ውስጥ፣ ጥገኞቹ አንድን እንቅስቃሴ ለማከናወን በጥገኛው ላይ ይመረኮዛሉ።

A Task dependency specifies how the task is to be performed, but not

why. (The depender is vulnerable since the dependee may fail to perform
the task. ጥገኛው ተግባሩን ማከናወን ስለማይችል ጥገኛው ተጋላጭ ነው።

Task specifications should be viewed as contains rather than as complete

(and therefore adequate) knowhow for performing the task. This is one
reason why a dependee or dependent (one who relies on another for
support) may fail in performing the task.

Another reason may be that the dependee decides not to perform the
task even when it is able to, e.g. if it decides there are more important
things to do (which may be due to other commitments). (p14)

Under task dependency, the depender makes the decisions. The

depender's goal are not given to the dependee.(p15)

Resource dependency
የሀብት ጥገኝነት
በሀብት ጥገኝነት ውስጥ፣ አንድ ተዋናይ (ጥገኛ) ለአንድ አካል (አካላዊ ወይም መረጃዊ) ተገኝነት በሌላው (ጥገኛ) ላይ
ይወሰናል።In a Resource dependency, one actor (the depender) depends on
the other (the dependee) for the availability of an entity (physical or
informational). By establishing this dependency, the depender gains the
ability to use this entity as a resource. At the same time, the depender
becomes vulnerable if the entity turns out to be unavailable. (p14)

Under resource dependency, the issue of decisions [how takes decision for
"achieveing" the dependum] does not come up. A resource is the finished
product of some deliberation-action process. It is assumed that there are
no open issues or decision to be addressed. (p15)

Soft goal dependency

In a Soft goal dependency, a depender depends on the dependee to

perform some task that meets a soft goal. The meaning of the softgoal is
specified in terms of the methods that are chosen in the course of
pursuing the goal.

As in the goal dependency, a depender gains the ability of having the

goal condition brought about, but becomes vulnerable in case the
dependee fails to bring about that condition. The difference here is that
the conditions to be attained are elaborated as the task is performed.
(p15)

Under soft-goal dependency, the depender makes the final decision, but
does so with the benefit and knowhow