Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory

The microsystem is the smallest and most immediate environment in which the child lives. As such, the microsystem
comprises the daily home, school or daycare, peer group or community environment of the child.
The mesosystem encompasses the interaction of the different microsystems which the developing child finds himself
in. It is, in essence, a system of microsystems and as such, involves linkages between home and school, between peer
group and family, or between family and church.
The exosystem pertains to the linkages that may exist between two or more settings, one of which may not contain the
developing child but affects him indirectly nonetheless. Other people and places which the child may not directly
interact with but may still have an effect on the child, comprise the exosystem. Such places and people may include
the parents’ workplaces, the larger neighborhood, and extended family members.
The macrosystem is the largest and most distant collection of people and places to the child that still exercises
significant influence on the child. It is composed of the child’s cultural patterns and values, specifically the child’s
dominant beliefs and ideas, as well as political and economic systems. Children in war-torn areas, for example, will
experience a different kind of development than children in communities where peace reigns.
The chronosystem adds the useful dimension of time, which demonstrates the influence of both change and constancy
in the child’s environment. The chronosystem may thus include a change in family structure, address, parent’s
employment status, in addition to immense society changes such as economic cycles and wars.

Vygotsky’s Sociocultural Theory of Cognitive Development

The Vygotsky theory of cognitive development is mainly concerned with the more complex cognitive activities of
children that are governed and influenced by several principles. 
Lev Semenovich Vygotsky, a Russian psychologist who lived during the Russian Revolution, developed a theory of
development known as the Sociocultural Theory of Cognitive Development in the early twentieth century.

As a proponent of the sociocultural perspective to development, Vygotsky’s sociocultural theory gained worldwide
recognition. It began to exert influence when his work was finally translated into English in 1962 and the importance
of both sociocultural perspective of development and cross-cultural research was recognized.

Zone of Proximal Development

Vygotsky is most recognized for his concept of Zone of Proximal Development or ZPD pertaining to the learning of
children. Children who are in the zone of proximal development for a specific task can almost perform the task
independently, but not quite there yet. However, with an appropriate amount of assistance, these children can
accomplish the task successfully.

The lower limit of a child’s zone of proximal development is the level of analysis and problem-solving reached by a
child without any help. The upper limit, on the other hand, is the level of additional responsibility that a child can
receive with the support of a skilled instructor.

More Knowledgeable Other

Children are entrenched in a sociocultural backdrop (e.g. at home) in which social interaction with significant adults,
such as the parents, plays a crucial factor that affects their learning. These adults need to direct and organize the
learning experiences to ensure that the children can master and internalize the learning.

According to the Vygotsky’s sociocultural theory, any person who possesses a higher skill level than the learner with
regard to a particular task or concept is called a More Knowledgeable Other or MKO. This person may be a teacher,
parent, an older adult, a coach or even a peer.

Scaffolding

Vygotsky’s concept of scaffolding is closely related to the concept of the zone of proximal development. Scaffolding
refers to the temporary support given to a child by More Knowledgeable Others, usually parents or teachers, that
enable the child to perform a task until such time that the child can already perform the task independently.
Scaffolding entails changing the quality and quantity of support provided to a child in the course of a teaching session.
The more-skilled instructor adjusts the level of guidance needed in order to fit the student’s current level of
performance. For novel tasks, the instructor may utilize direct instruction. As the child gains more familiarity with the
task and becomes more skilled at it, the instructor may then provide less guidance.

Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development

According to Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development, there are 6 stages of moral development, separated into 3
levels:

 Pre-conventional
 Conventional
 Post-conventional

Age ranges of these levels are considerably more vague in Kohlberg’s stages of moral development than in Piaget’s
stages, as children vary quite significantly in their rate of moral development.

At the pre-conventional level, children are only interested in securing their own benefit. This is their idea of morality.
They begin by avoiding punishment, and quickly learn that they may secure other benefits by pleasing others. No
other ethical concepts are available to children this young. This Kohlberg’s stage is a parallel of Piaget’s sensorimotor
stage – for a child whose conceptual framework does not extend beyond their own senses and movements, the moral
concepts of right and wrong would be difficult to develop.

According to Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development, the conventional level is the stage at which children learn
about rules and authority. They learn that there are certain “conventions” that govern how they should and should not
behave, and learn to obey them.
At this stage, no distinction is drawn between moral principles and legal principles. What is right is what is handed
down by authority, and disobeying the rules is always by definition “bad.”

This level is split into two stages:

 First stage: Children are interested in pleasing others and securing the favor of others.
 Second stage: Children extend the principle to cover the whole of their society, believing that morality is what
keeps the social order intact.
Kohlberg believed that many people stay in this stage of moral reasoning for their whole lives, deriving moral
principles from social or religious authority figures and never thinking about morality for themselves.
 Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development: Post-Conventional Morality

At the post-conventional level, children have learned that there is a difference between what is right and wrong from
a moral perspective, and what is right and wrong according to the rules. Although they often overlap, there are still
times when breaking a rule is the right thing to do.
Post-conventional moral principles are either utilitarian principles of mutual benefit (closely related to the “social
order” stage, but universal and non-authoritarian in nature)

Learning disabilities are problems that affect the brain's ability to receive, process, analyze, or store information.
These problems can make it difficult for a student to learn as quickly as someone who isn't affected by learning
disabilities.

Common types of learning disabilities

Dyslexia – Difficulty with reading

 Problems reading, writing, spelling, speaking

Dyscalculia – Difficulty with math

 Problems doing math problems, understanding time, using money

Dysgraphia – Difficulty with writing

 Problems with handwriting, spelling, organizing ideas

Dyspraxia (Sensory Integration Disorder) – Difficulty with fine motor skills

 Problems with hand-eye coordination, balance, manual dexterity

Dysphasia/Aphasia – Difficulty with language

 Problems understanding spoken language, poor reading comprehension

Auditory Processing Disorder – Difficulty hearing differences between sounds

 Problems with reading, comprehension, language

Visual Processing Disorder – Difficulty interpreting visual information

 Problems with reading, math, maps, charts, symbols, picture

The Dominant Side of the Brain

Facts about the human brain

 The human brain is the largest brain of all vertebrates relative to body size
 It weighs about 3.3 lbs. (1.5 kilograms)
 The brain makes up about 2 percent of a human's body weight
 The cerebrum makes up 85 percent of the brain's weight
 It contains about 86 billion nerve cells (neurons) — the "gray matter"
 It contains billions of nerve fibers (axons and dendrites) — the "white matter"
 These neurons are connected by trillions of connections, or synapses

The five main functions that the brain serves are:

 Creativity.
 Memory and the ability to learn.
 Social interaction.
 Emotion and feelings.
 Planning

The brain is made of three main parts: the forebrain, midbrain, and hindbrain. The forebrain consists of the
cerebrum, thalamus, and hypothalamus (part of thelimbic system). The midbrain consists of the tectum and
tegmentum. The hindbrain is made of the cerebellum, pons and medulla.

The Cerebral Cortex- The brain that functions to make human beings unique. Distinctly human traits including
higher thought, language and human consciousness as well as the ability to think, reason and imagine all originate in
the cerebral cortex.

The cerebral cortex is what we see when we look at the brain. It is the outermost portion that can be divided into the
four lobes of the brain. Each bump on the surface of the brain is known as a gyrus, while each groove is known as
a sulcus.

Four Lobes of the Brain

 The frontal lobe is located at the front of the brain and is associated with reasoning, motor skills, higher level
cognition, and expressive language. At the back of the frontal lobe, near the central sulcus, lies the motor
cortex. This area of the brain receives information from various lobes of the brain and utilizes this information
to carry out body movements. Damage to the frontal lobe can lead to changes in sexual habits, socialization,
and attention as well as increased risk-taking.
 The parietal lobe is located in the middle section of the brain and is associated with processing tactile
sensory information such as pressure, touch, and pain. A portion of the brain known as the somatosensory
cortex is located in this lobe and is essential to the processing of the body's senses. 
 The temporal lobe is located on the bottom section of the brain. This lobe is also the location of the primary
auditory cortex, which is important for interpreting sounds and the language we hear. The hippocampus is also
located in the temporal lobe, which is why this portion of the brain is also heavily associated with the
formation of memories. Damage to the temporal lobe can lead to problems with memory, speech perception,
and language skills.
 The occipital lobe is located at the back portion of the brain and is associated with interpreting visual stimuli
and information. The primary visual cortex, which receives and interprets information from the retinas of the
eyes, is located in the occipital lobe. Damage to this lobe can cause visual problems such as difficulty
recognizing objects, an inability to identify colors, and trouble recognizing words.

The brain stem is comprised of the midbrain, pons, and medulla.

 The midbrain is often considered the smallest region of the brain. It acts as a sort of relay station for
auditory and visual information. The midbrain controls many important functions such as the visual and
auditory systems as well as eye movement. Portions of the midbrain called the  red nucleus and
the substantia nigra are involved in the control of body movement. The darkly pigmented substantia nigra
contains a large number of dopamine-producing neurons are located. The degeneration of neurons in the
substantia nigra is associated with Parkinson’s disease.
 The medulla is located directly above the spinal cord  in the lower part of the brain stem and controls many
vital autonomic functions such as heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure.
 The pons connects the medulla to the cerebellum and serves a number of important functions including
playing a role in several autonomic functions such as stimulating breathing and controlling sleep cycles.

The Cerebellum

Sometimes referred to as the "Little Brain," the cerebellum lies on top of the pons behind the brain stem. The
cerebellum is comprised of small lobes and receives information from the balance system of the inner ear,
sensory nerves, and the auditory and visual systems. It is involved in the coordination of movements as well
as motor learning.

 The cerebellum makes up approximately 10 percent of the brain's total size, but it accounts for more than 50
percent of the total number of neurons located in the entire brain. This structure is associated with motor
 movement and control, but this is not because the motor commands originate here. Instead, the cerebellum
serves to modify these signals and make motor movements accurate and useful.
 For example, the cerebellum helps control posture, balance, and the coordination of voluntary movements.
This allows different muscle groups in the body to act together and produce coordinated, fluid movement.
 In addition to playing an essential role in motor control, the cerebellum is also important in certain cognitive
functions including speech.

The Thalamus- Located above the brainstem, the thalamus processes and transmits movement and
sensory information. It is essentially a relay station, taking in sensory information and then passing it on to
the cerebral cortex. The cerebral cortex also sends information to the thalamus, which then sends this
information to other systems.

The Hypothalamus- A grouping of nuclei that lie along the base of the brain near the pituitary gland. The
hypothalamus connects with many other regions of the brain and is responsible for controlling hunger,
thirst, emotions, body temperature regulation, and circadian rhythms. The hypothalamus also controls the
pituitary gland by secreting hormones, which gives the hypothalamus a great deal of control over many body
functions.

The Limbic System

Although there is no totally agreed upon list of the structures that make up the limbic system, four of the main regions
include:

 The amygdala
 The hippocampus
 Regions of the limbic cortex
 The septal area.

These structures form connections between the limbic system and the hypothalamus, thalamus and cerebral cortex.
The hippocampus is important in memory and learning, while the limbic system itself is central in the control of
emotional responses.

The Basal Ganglia- A group of large nuclei that partially surround the thalamus. These nuclei are important in the
control of movement. The red nucleus and substantia nigra of the midbrain have connections with the basal ganglia.

Mental Health Challenges

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)- is thought to be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that
affects attention, concentration and impulsivity. Someone with ADHD might have significant attention problems,
appear restless, fidgety, overactive and impulsive. They can act before thinking and often speak before thinking by
blurting out and interrupting others. ADHD isn't a disease or the result of damage to the brain but is a dysfunction that
means the brain doesn't function in the way it should. Studies show that ADHD may affect certain areas of the brain
that allow us to solve problems, plan ahead, understand others' actions, and control our impulses. It begins in
childhood and can continue through adolescence and into adulthood.

 Anxiety (Panic Disorder) Anxiety disorders are different, though. They are a group of mental illnesses, and the
distress they cause can keep you from carrying on with your life normally. For people who have one, worry and fear
are constant and overwhelming, and can be disabling.
 Autism Spectrum Disorder- is a neurological and developmental disorder that begins early in childhood and lasts
throughout a person's life. It affects how a person acts and interacts with others, communicates, and learns. It includes
what used to be known as Asperger syndrome and pervasive developmental disorders.
 Bi-Polar Disorder- also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood,
energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.
 Depression- (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you
feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or
a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed.
 Eating Disorders
6 Common Types of Eating Disorders (and Their Symptoms)
1. Anorexia Nervosa
Anorexia nervosa is likely the most well-known eating disorder.
It generally develops during adolescence or young adulthood and tends to affect more women than men. People with
anorexia generally view themselves as overweight, even if they’re dangerously underweight. They tend to constantly
monitor their weight, avoid eating certain types of foods and severely restrict their calories.
Common symptoms of anorexia nervosa includes:
- Being considerably underweight compared to people of similar age and height.
- Very restricted eating patterns.
- An intense fear of gaining weight or persistent behaviors to avoid gaining weight, despite being
underweight.
- A relentless pursuit of thinness and unwillingness to maintain a healthy weight.
- A heavy influence of body weight or perceived body shape on self-esteem.
- A distorted body image, including denial of being seriously underweight.
Obsessive-compulsive symptoms are also often present. For instance, many people with anorexia are preoccupied with
constant thoughts about food, and some may even obsessively collect recipes or hoard foods. Such individuals may
also have difficulty eating in public and have a strong desire to control their environment, limiting their ability to be
spontaneous.
Anorexia is officially categorized into two subtypes — the restricting type and the binge-eating and purging type
Individuals with the restricting type lose weight solely through dieting, fasting or excessive exercise.
Individuals with the binge-eating and purging type may binge on large amounts of food or eat very little. In both
cases, after they eat, they purge using activities including vomiting, taking laxatives or diuretics or exercising
excessively.
Anorexia can be very damaging to the body. Over time, individuals living with it may experience the thinning of their
bones, infertility, brittle hair and nails and the growth of a layer of fine hair all over their body In severe cases,
anorexia can result in heart, brain or multi-organ failure and death.

Bulimia Nervosa
Just like anorexia, bulimia tends to develop during adolescence and early adulthood and appears to be less common
among men than women. People with bulimia frequently eat unusually large amounts of food in a relatively short
period.Each binge-eating episode usually continues until the person becomes painfully full. Moreover, during a binge,
the person usually feels that they cannot stop eating or control how much they are eating.Binges can happen with any
type of food, but most commonly occur with foods the individual would normally avoid.Individuals with bulimia then
attempt to purge to compensate for the calories consumed and relieve gut discomfort.Common purging behaviors
include forced vomiting, fasting, laxatives, diuretics, enemas and excessive exercise.
Symptoms may appear very similar to the binge-eating or purging subtypes of anorexia nervosa. However, individuals
with bulimia usually maintain a relatively normal weight, rather than becoming underweight.

Common symptoms of bulimia nervosa include:

- Recurrent episodes of binge eating, with a feeling of lack of control
- Recurrent episodes of inappropriate purging behaviors to prevent weight gain
- A self-esteem overly influenced by body shape and weight
- A fear of gaining weight, despite having a normal weight

Binge Eating Disorder

Binge eating was only officially recognized as an eating disorder relatively recently.
However, it is currently believed to be one of the most common eating disorders, especially in the US.
Binge eating disorder typically begins during adolescence and early adulthood, although it can also develop later on.
Individuals with this disorder have similar symptoms to those with bulimia or the binge-eating subtype of anorexia.
For instance, they typically eat unusually large amounts of food in relatively short periods of time and usually feel a
lack of control during binges. However, contrary to the two previous disorders, people with binge eating disorder do
not restrict calories or use purging behaviors such as vomiting or excessive exercise to compensate for their binges.

Common symptoms of binge eating disorder include:

- Eating large amounts of foods rapidly, in secret and until uncomfortably full, despite not feeling
hungry.
- Feeling a lack of control during episodes of binge eating.
- Feelings of distress, such as shame, disgust or guilt, when thinking about the binge-eating behavior.
No use of purging behaviors, such as calorie restriction, vomiting, excessive exercise or laxative or diuretic use, to
compensate for the binging.People with binge eating disorder are often overweight or obese. This may increase their
risk of medical complications linked to excess weight, such as heart disease, stroke and type 2 diabetes.

Side effects of bulimia may include an inflamed and sore throat, swollen salivary glands, worn tooth enamel, tooth
decay, acid reflux, irritation of the gut, severe dehydration and hormonal disturbances.In severe cases, bulimia can
also create an imbalance in body levels of electrolytes such as sodium, potassium and calcium. This can cause a stroke
or heart attack.

Pica
Pica is another entirely new condition only recently recognized as an eating disorder by the DSM.
Individuals with pica crave non-food substances such as ice, dirt, soil, chalk, soap, paper, hair, cloth, wool, pebbles,
laundry detergent or cornstarch. Pica can occur in adults, as well as children and adolescents. That said, this disorder
is most frequently observed in children, pregnant women and individuals with mental disabilities.
Individuals with pica may be at an increased risk of poisoning, infections, gut injuries and nutrition deficiencies.
Depending on the substances ingested, pica may be fatal.
However, to be considered pica, the eating of non-food substances must not be a normal part of someone's culture or
religion. In addition, it must not be considered a socially acceptable practice by a person's peers.

Rumination Disorder
Rumination disorder is another newly recognized eating disorder.
It describes a condition in which a person regurgitates food they have previously chewed and swallowed, re-chews it
and then either re-swallows it or spits it out.
This rumination typically occurs within the first 30 minutes after a meal. Unlike medical conditions such as reflux, it
is voluntary. This disorder can develop during infancy, childhood or adulthood. In infants, it tends to develop between
three and 12 months and often disappears on its own. Children and adults with the condition usually require therapy to
resolve it.
If not resolved in infants, rumination disorder can result in weight loss and severe malnutrition that can be fatal.
Adults with this disorder may restrict the amount of food they eat, especially in public. This may lead them to lose
weight and become underweight.
- Avoidant or Restrictive Food Intake Disorder
- Avoidant or restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) is a new name for an old disorder.
It actually replaces what was known as a "feeding disorder of infancy and early childhood," a diagnosis previously
reserved for children under seven years old.
Although ARFID generally develops during infancy or early childhood, it can persist into adulthood. What's more, it
is equally common in men and women.
Individuals with this disorder experience disturbed eating either due to a lack of interest in eating or a distaste for
certain smells, tastes, colors, textures or temperatures.
Common symptoms of ARFID include:
- Avoidance or restriction of food intake that prevents the person from eating sufficient calories or nutrients.
- Eating habits that interfere with normal social functions, such as eating with others.
- Weight loss or poor development for age and height.
- Nutrient deficiencies or dependence on supplements or tube feeding.

It's important to note that ARFID goes beyond normal behaviors, such as picky eating in toddlers or a lower food
intake in older adults.
Moreover, it does not include the avoidance or restriction of foods due to lack of availability or religious or cultural
practices.

Other Eating Disorders

In addition to the six eating disorders above, less-known or less common eating disorders also exist. These generally
fall under one of three categories:
Purging disorder: Individuals with this disorder often use purging behaviors, such as vomiting, laxatives, diuretics or
excessive exercising, to control their weight or shape. However, they do not binge.
Night eating syndrome: Individuals with this syndrome frequently eat excessively, often after awakening from sleep.
Eating disorder not otherwise specified (EDNOS): This includes any other possible conditions that have symptoms
similar to those of an eating disorder but don’t fit into any of the categories above.
 One disorder that may currently fall under EDNOS is orthorexia. Although increasingly mentioned in the media and
scientific studies, orthorexia has yet to be officially recognized as a separate eating disorder by the current DSM.
Individuals with orthorexia tend to have an obsessive focus on healthy eating, to an extent that disrupts their daily
lives.
For instance, the affected person may eliminate entire food groups, fearing they’re unhealthy. This can lead to
malnutrition, severe weight loss, difficulty eating outside the home and emotional distress.
Individuals with orthorexia rarely focus on losing weight. Instead, their self-worth, identity or satisfaction is
dependent on how well they comply with their self-imposed diet rules.

 Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)- is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either
experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as
uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

Emotional intelligence (EI), Emotional leadership (EL),Emotional quotient (EQ) and Emotional Intelligence

Quotient (EIQ), is the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between
different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage
and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one's goal(s).
Emotions are what you feel on the inside when things happen. Emotions are also known as feelings.
1. Afraid: feeling fear and worry
2. Angry: feeling mad with a person, act, or idea
3. Ashamed: feeling bad after doing wrong
4. Confident: feeling able to do something
5. Confused: feeling unable to think clear
6. Depressed: feeling sad, blue, discouraged, and unhappy
7. Embarrassed: feeling worried about what others may think
8. Energetic: feeling full of energy
9. Excited: feeling happy and aroused
10. Glad: feeling joy and pleasure
11. Jealous: feeling upset when someone has something that you would like to have or they get to do something you
wanted
12. Lonely: feeling alone and that nobody cares
13. Proud: feeling pleased for doing well
14. Relaxed: feeling at ease and without worry, calm
15. Stressed: feeling tense, tired, uneasy and overwhelmed

TYPES OF RESPONSES
Passive response: Behaving passively means not expressing your own needs and feelings, or expressing them so
weakly that they will not be addressed.
 If Geneva behaves passively, by standing in line and not saying anything, she will probably feel angry with the girls
and herself. If the ticket office runs out of tickets before she gets to the head of the line, she will be furious and might
blow up at the girls after it's too late to change the situation.
 A passive response is not usually in your best interest, because it allows other people to violate your rights. Yet
there are times when being passive is the most appropriate response. It is important to assess whether a situation is
dangerous and choose the response most likely to keep you safe.

Aggressive response: Behaving aggressively is asking for what you want or saying how you feel in a threatening,
sarcastic or humiliating way that may offend the other person(s).
 If Geneva calls the girls names or threatens them, she may feel strong for a moment, but there is no guarantee she
will get the girls to leave. More importantly, the girls and their friend may also respond aggressively, through a verbal
or physical attack on Geneva.
 An aggressive response is never in your best interest, because it almost always leads to increased conflict
Assertive response: Behaving assertively means asking for what you want or saying how you feel in an honest and
respectful way that does not infringe on another person's rights or put the individual down.

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
The concept of relationship is very broad and complex. In our model, personal relationships refer to close connections
between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow from and are strengthened by
mutual experiences.
Relationships are not static; they are continually evolving, and to fully enjoy and benefit from them we need skills,
information, inspiration, practice, and social support. In our model there are three kinds of personal relationships:

Family
The concept of "family" is an essential component in any discussion of relationships, but this varies greatly from
person to person. The Bureau of the Census defines family as "two or more persons who are related by birth, marriage,
or adoption and who live together as one household." But many people have family they don't live with or to whom
they are not bonded by love, and the roles of family vary across cultures as well as throughout your own lifetime.
Some typical characteristics of a family are support, mutual trust, regular interactions, shared beliefs and values,
security, and a sense of community.
Although the concept of "family" is one of the oldest in human nature, its definition has evolved considerably in the
past three decades. Non-traditional family structures and roles can provide as much comfort and support as traditional
forms.

Friends
A friendship can be thought of as a close tie between two people that is often built upon mutual experiences, shared
interests, proximity, and emotional bonding. Friends are able to turn to each other in times of need. Nicholas
Christakis and James Fowler, social-network researchers and authors of the book Connected, find that the average
person has about six close ties—though some have more, and many have only one or none.
Note that online friends don’t count toward close ties—research indicates that a large online network isn’t nearly as
powerful as having a few close, real-life friends.

Partnerships
Romantic partnerships, including marriage, are close relationships formed between two people that are built upon
affection, trust, intimacy, and romantic love. We usually experience this kind of relationship with only one person at a
time.

WHY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT

Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and wellbeing. There is compelling evidence that strong
relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life. Conversely, the health risks from being alone or isolated in
one's life are comparable to the risks associated with cigarette smoking, blood pressure, and obesity.
Research shows that healthy relationships can help you:
• Live longer. A review of 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships are 50% less likely to die
prematurely. Similarly, Dan Buettner’s Blue Zones research calculates that committing to a life partner can add 3
years to life expectancy (Researchers Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler have found that men’s life expectancy
benefits from marriage more than women’s do.)
Deal with stress. The support offered by a caring friend can provide a buffer against the effects of stress. In a study of
over 100 people, researchers found that people who completed a stressful task experienced a faster recovery when
they were reminded of people with whom they had strong relationships. (Those who were reminded of stressful
relationships, on the other hand, experienced even more stress and higher blood pressure.)
• Be healthier. According to research by psychologist Sheldon Cohen, college students who reported having strong
relationships were half as likely to catch a common cold when exposed to the virus. In addition, 2012 international
Gallup poll found that people who feel they have friends and family to count on are generally more satisfied with their
personal health than people who feel isolated. And hanging out with healthy people increases your own likelihood of
health—in their book Connected, Christakis and Fowler show that non-obese people are more likely to have non-
obese friends because healthy habits spread through our social networks.
• Feel richer. A survey by the National Bureau of Economic Research of 5,000 people found that doubling your group
of friends has the same effect on your wellbeing as a 50% increase in income!
On the other hand, low social support is linked to a number of health consequences, such as:
• Depression. Loneliness has long been commonly associated with depression, and now research is backing this
correlation up: a 2012 study of breast cancer patients found that those with fewer satisfying social connections
experienced higher levels of depression, pain, and fatigue.
• Decreased immune function. The authors of the same study also found a correlation between loneliness and
immune system dysregulation, meaning that a lack of social connections can increase your chances of becoming sick.
• Higher blood pressure. University of Chicago researchers who studied a group of 229 adults over five years found
that loneliness could predict higher blood pressure even years later, indicating that the effects of isolation have long-
lasting consequences.
According to psychiatrists Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz, social alienation is an inevitable result of
contemporary society's preoccupation with materialism and frantic "busy-ness." Their decades of research support the
idea that a lack of relationships can cause multiple problems with physical, emotional, and spiritual health. The
research is clear and devastating: ISOLATION IS FATAL

25 MOST COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

Here is the list of the most common relationship problems most often encountered by couples
1. Affairs / infidelity / cheating. This includes emotional infidelity, one-night stands, internet relationships (including
‘sexting’), long- and short-term affairs and financial infidelity
2. Sexual Issues, particularly loss of libido and including questions around your gender, or your partner's gender
3. Significant differences in core values and beliefs
4. Life stages – you have ‘outgrown’ each other or have ‘changed’ significantly for whatever reason
5. Traumatic and/or Life-Changing Events
6. Responses to prolonged periods of Stress, such as Work-Related Stress, long-term illness, mental health issues,
Financial Problems, problems with the children, infertility and many more
7. Bored in or with Your Relationship
8. Dealing with a jealous partner
9. Having 'blended' family issues
10. Domestic violence, which includes verbal as well as physical abuse: THE most serious relationship problem.
11. Knowing you should not have got married in the first place!
12. Lack of responsibility regarding finances, children, health and many other issues
13. Unrealistic Expectations- still thinking your partner / spouse is the princess / knight and not seeing the real
human being
14. Addictions - substance abuse
15. Excessive reliance on social media, at the cost of the relationship
16. Lack of support during particularly difficult times from people that matter to you
17. Manipulation or over-involvement in your relationships with family or friends
18. Lack of communication about important matters
19. Poor division of and / or one-sided lack of responsibility for chores and tasks. It is not always women who
complain about this relationship problem!
20. Perceived lack of concern, care and consideration / attentiveness: feeling the relationship is one-sided is a big
one!
21. Significant personal disappointments and traumas that lead to a change in relationship dynamics
22. Long term depression or other mental health issues suffered by one partner or both
23. Significant differences in opinion on how to discipline / deal with the children
24. Long-term stress, particularly when not taking responsibility for doing something positive to address the cause,
or about learning to handle it if it cannot be changed
25. An unsupportive partner during pregnancy and/or significant problems after the birth of your baby.

NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Connect with your family
One of the biggest challenges for families to stay connected is the busy pace of life. But Blue Zones research states
that the healthiest, longest-living people in the world all have something in common: they put their families first.
Family support can provide comfort, support, and even influence better health outcomes while you are sick.

Practice gratitude
Gratitude is one of the most accessible positive emotions, and its effects can strengthen friendships and intimate
relationships. One 2010 study found that expressing gratitude toward a partner can strengthen the relationship, and this
positive boost is felt by both parties—the one who expresses gratitude and the one who receives it. Remembering to
say “thank you” when a friend listens or your spouse brings you a cup of coffee can set off an upward spiral of trust,
closeness, and affection.

Learn to forgive
It’s normal for disagreements or betrayal to arise in relationships, but your choice about how to handle the hurt can
have a powerful effect on the healing process. Choosing to forgive can bring about a variety of benefits, both physical
and emotional.

Be compassionate
Compassion is the willingness to be open to yourself and others, even in painful times, with a gentle, nonjudgmental
attitude. When you feel compassionate toward another person—whether a romantic partner, friend, relative, or
colleague— you open the gates for better communication and a stronger bond.

Accept others
It is also important to be accepting of the other person in the relationship. Obviously, this does not apply in situations
of abuse or unhealthy control, where you need foremost to protect yourself. But otherwise, try to understand where the
person is coming from rather than judge them.

Create rituals together

With busy schedules and the presence of online social media that offer the façade of real contact, it’s very easy to drift
from friends. In order to nurture the closeness and support of friendships, you have to make an effort to connect.

Spend the right amount of time together

Gallup researchers Jim Harter and Raksha Arora found that people who spend 6-7 hours per day socializing (which
could mean hanging out with friends, sharing meals with family, or even emailing a colleague) tend to be the happiest.
In contrast, those who have zero interactions (or an exhausting overload of social time) feel more stressed. Knowing
when to give your time to others and when to take some time for yourself can be crucial in maintaining balanced,
healthy relationships as well as emotional well being.

TEN RULES FOR FINDING LOVE AND CREATING LONG-LASTING AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS
1. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
Your relationship with yourself is the central template from which all others are formed. Loving yourself is a
prerequisite to creating a successful and authentic union with another.
2. PARTNERING IS A CHOICE MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR IT TO THRIVE
The choice to be in a relationship is up to you
3. CREATING LOVE IS A PROCESS
Moving from “I” to “we” requires a shift in perspective and energy. Being an authentic couple is anevolution
4. RELATIONSHIPS PROVIDE OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW
Your relationship will serve as an unofficial “lifeshop” in which you will learn about yourself and how you can grow
on your personal path.
5. COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL
The open exchange of thoughts and feelings is the lifeblood of your relationship.
6. NEGOTIATION WILL BE REQUIRED
There will be times when you and your partner must work through impasses. If you do this consciously and with
respect, you will learn to create win-win outcomes.
7. YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE CHALLENGED BY CHANGE
Life will present turns in the road. How you maneuver those twists and turns determines the success of your
relationship.
8. YOU MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR IT TO THRIVE
Treasure your beloved and your relationship will flourish.
9. RENEWAL IS THE KEY TO LONGEVITY
Happily ever after means the ability to keep the relationship fresh and vital.
10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS THE MOMENT YOU FALL IN LOVE
You know all these rules inherently. The challenge is to remember them when you fall under the enchanting spell of
love.

KEEPING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Good relationships are fun and make you feel good about yourself. The relationships that you make in your youth
years will be a special part of your life and will teach you some of the most important lessons about who you are.
Truly good relationships take time and energy to develop. All relationships should be based on respect and honesty,
and this is especially important when you decide to date someone.

In a healthy relationship, both partners:

 Are treated with kindness and respect
 Are honest with each other
 Like to spend time together
 Take an interest in things that are important to each other
 Respect one another’s emotional, physical and sexual limits
 Can speak honestly about their feelings

Sexual abuse is also a type of violence, and involves any kind of unwanted sexual advance. It can include everything
from unwelcome sexual comments to kissing to intercourse. But abuse doesn’t always mean that someone hits or hurts
your body. Emotional abuse is anything that harms your self-esteem or causes shame. This includes saying things
that hurt your feelings, make you feel that you aren’t worthwhile, or trying to control who you see or where you go.
Remember, you deserve healthy, happy relationships. Abuse of any type is never okay.

BASIC RIGHTS IN A RELATIONSHIP

• The right to emotional support
• The right to be heard by the other and to respond
• The right to have your own point of view, even if this differs from your partner's
• The right to have your feelings and experiences acknowledged as real
• The right to live free from accusation and blame
• The right to live free from criticism and judgment
• The right to live free from emotional and physical threat
• The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage
• The right to be respectfully asked, rather than ordered

In addition to these basic relationships rights, consider how you can develop patience, honesty, kindness, and respect.

What you can get from being involved in community activities

Role models
By getting involved with community activities, you can come into contact with like-minded peers and positive adult
role models other than your parents. Interacting and cooperating with other adults encourages you to see the world in
different ways.

Identity and connection

Young people are busy working out who they are and where they fit in the world. They try out different identities,
experiment with different styles of dress and might try out a range of different activities and hobbies.
Being involved in community activities can give you a positive way of understanding who you are.

Skills Community activities give you the chance to apply the skills you already have. For example, you could use the
cooking skills you have learned at home at a community feeding program or at a school fund-raising project.
Voluntary work and community activities are also great opportunities to show initiative and develop skills to get a
job.

Self-confidence, mental health and wellbeing

Community activities can boost one’s self-confidence. You can learn to deal with challenges, communicate with
different people and build up your life skills and abilities in a supportive environment.

Family Structures and Legacies

GENOGRAM
A genogram or family tree is a useful tool to gather information about a person's family. This visual representation of
a family can help us to identify patterns or themes within families that may be influencing or driving a person's current
behavior.
FAMILY STRUCTURE
The traditional family structure is considered a family support system which involves two married individuals
providing care and stability for their biological offspring. However, this two-parent, nuclear family has become less
prevalent, and alternative family forms have become more common. The family is created at birth and establishes ties
across generations. Those generations, the extended family of aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins, can all hold
significant emotional and economic roles for the nuclear family.

Different kinds of family structures:

Nuclear family: A family unit consisting of at most a father, mother and dependent children. It is considered the
“traditional” family.
Extended family: A family consisting of parents and children, along with either grandparents, grandchildren, aunts or
uncles, cousins etc. In some circumstances, the extended family comes to live either with or in place of a member of
the nuclear family.
Step families: Two families brought together due to divorce, separation, and remarriage.

Single parent family: This can be either a father or a mother who is singly responsible for the raising of a child. The
child can be by birth or adoption. They may be a single parent by choice or by life circumstances. The other parent
may have been part of the family at one time or not at all.
Adoptive family: A family where one or more of the children has been adopted. Any structure of family may also be
an adoptive family.
Bi-racial or multi-racial family: A family where the parents are members of different racial identity groups.
Trans-racial adoptive family: A family where the adopted child is of a different racial identity group than the parents.
Blended family: A family that consists of members from two (or more) previous families.
Conditionally separated families: A family member is separated from the rest of the family. This may be due to
employment far away; military service; incarceration; hospitalization. They remain significant members of the family.
Foster family: A family where one or more of the children is legally a temporary member of the household. This
“temporary” period may be as short as a few days or as long as the child’s entire childhood.
Gay or Lesbian family: A family where one or both of the parents’ sexual orientation is gay or lesbian. This may be a
two-parent family, an adoptive family, a single parent family or an extended family.
Immigrant family: A family where the parents have immigrated to another country as adults. Their children may or
may not be immigrants. Some family members may continue to live in the country of origin, but still be significant
figures in the life of the child.
Migrant family: A family that moves regularly to places where they have employment. The most common form of
migrant family is farm workers who move with the crop seasons. Children may have a relatively stable community of
people who move at the same time - or the family may know no one in each new setting. Military families may also
lead a migrant life, with frequent relocation, often on short notice.

FAMILY LEGACIES
The Emotional Legacy
In order to prosper, our children need an enduring sense of security and stability nurtured in an environment of safety
and love.
The Social Legacy
To really succeed in life, our children need to learn more than management techniques, accounting, reading, writing
and geometry. They need to learn the fine art of relating to people. If they learn how to relate well to others, they'll
have an edge in the game of life.
The Spiritual Legacy
The Spiritual Legacy is overlooked by many, but that's a mistake. As spiritual beings, we adopt attitudes and beliefs
about spiritual matters from one source or another. As parents, we need to take the initiative and present our faith to
our children.
The Emotional Legacy
Sadly, many of us struggle to overcome a negative emotional legacy that hinders our ability to cope with the inevitable
struggles of life. But imagine yourself giving warm family memories to your child. You can create an atmosphere that
provides a child's fragile spirit with the nourishment and support needed for healthy emotional growth. It will require
time and consistency to develop a sense of emotional wholeness, but the rewards are great.
The Social Legacy
In order to prosper, our children need to gain the insights and social skills necessary to cultivate healthy, stable
relationships. As children mature, they must learn to relate to family members, teachers, peers and friends.