Understanding and Developing Christian Accountability
Understanding and Developing Christian Accountability
Accountability
Dr. Richard J. Krejcir
What is accountability?
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and
good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of
doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the day
approaching. Hebrews 10:25
A popular American TV show from the 1960’s was Dobie Gillis. In this hit
show, there was a character played by Bob Denver called Maynard G. Krebs,
better known for later playing Gilligan on Gilligan’s Island. Maynard was a
“beatnik,” a precursor to a “hippie” and a pioneer stereotype of the atypical
“teenage slacker.” He was the person who refused to work, was very lazy, and all
of his energies were spent on conniving to get what he wanted without earning it.
His catchphrase was “wooooork?!?” when confronted that he needed to work for
something in order to receive something. He was very funny and was just listed
in the top 100 memorable entertainers of the twentieth century. The TV episodes
can still be seen today (I know this stuff because my church is near Hollywood
and many people in that industry go there). Maynard represents a lot of Christian
mindsets today—not the fear of work, but, rather “acccountabilityyy?!?” We fear
and hide from it as if it were an assault upon our lifestyle, fears, and plans. We
do not want to hear about it nor be tied to it. Yet, it is essential in order for us to
grow and produce godly character and fruit.
As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the
hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!"
. . . If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part
rejoices with it (1 Cor. 12:20-21, 26).
Having other people around whom you can trust and get to know more
deeply will enable you to know yourself—your strengths, weaknesses, and
opportunities—more deeply. You will be able to see in the mirror to your inner
being and desires and see if they line up to what God has for you. You will
become more aware of issues, relationships, and life as life’s purpose and God’s
call are unfolded before you. Because you see life and God’s Word more deeply,
your behaviors and response to others will also change for the better (Eccl. 4:8-
12; Rom. 15:7; Eph. 4:9-13; 1 Thess. 5:11; Heb. 10:24; James 5:16).
The pages of the Bible are filled with stories of people leaning on others
for growth and personal and spiritual development. Deep connections help great
leaders overcome their struggles and see what they cannot see on their own.
Most prominently in the Old Testament are Moses and Aaron (Exodus), and
David and Jonathan (1 Sam. 18-20). In the New Testament are Paul and
Barnabas, and then Paul with Titus, Silas, and Timothy (Acts 11-14; 2 Cor. 2:12).
And, of course, our Lord Jesus, while He walked this earth, had His twelve with
an extra connection to the inner three, Peter, James, and John.
Thus, we can surmise that accountability is not for just for those who are
weak, needy, or for wimps; it is for the strong who want to be stronger and the
unconnected who need to be connected. If you think, as a man, this is still just for
the weak, consider that greatness and authenticity cannot come about without
humility and connection (James 4:7-12; 1 Pet. 5: 1-11)! “Real men” will be
accountable to other real men, and real godly women will be connected to other
godly women (Prov. 31). There is no way around this vital call! God gives us the
call to be deeply connected to one another because we need it. The leaders in
the Bible knew this well, Jesus modeled this for us, and the only hindrance is our
willingness to comply. Leaders and pastors who are not accountable will
eventually fall, and, until then, be very ineffective! God has called you to be the
iron that sharpens others’ iron, as their iron will sharpen you (Prov. 27:17)!
Thus, the bottom line of why we need accountability is, we will be tempted;
and, unless we have a system to protect ourselves, we will fall to that temptation
(Prov. 6:27; 1 Cor. 6:18, 10:14; 1 Tim. 6:9-11; 2 Tim. 2:22)! The world is rich in
temptations and we can not fight against them effectively unless we allow the
One who overcame the world to infuse us (John 5:4), and not love the world (1
John 2:15). It comes down to having trusting faith in Christ, and allowing His work
in others to help keep us connected to Him. His empowerment will be synergized
when we are connected with others whom we trust and who can warn us of
coming dangers in our pursuits and thinking, encourage us when we are down,
and who will hold us accountable. The love of God is often best reflected in the
love and care of others. Allow that care to shield you from the wrong pursuits in
life.
Many Christians think, all I have to do is leave Satan alone and he will
leave me alone so I do not need accountability. The response to that is no, he
will go after you even more! We will be tempted by Satan and by his influences
that seem enticing but will only hurt us. Satan seeks, not to give us what we
want, but to steal from us all that which God has given. Thus, if we submit to
God, then the devil flees; if we run to Satan and his ways, God is far off from us.
We can try with all of our might and effort to have accountability, but unless
others are there for us, and unless we are headed toward God, it just will not
work! The only thing that can thwart Satan is God. So, be in Him and not in the
world (Eph. 6:10; James 4:7-10; Rev. 12:11).
James is saying to first turn to God and surrender to His ways. If not, the
ways of Satan and the world will gladly take up that role. We need others in our
lives to point out to us the pitfalls before us, as we may not see them ourselves,
blinded by desires and wanderlust. We cannot do this solely by our own efforts
and strength; we need others, too. Others will see what we refuse to see, or what
is blocked by our desires. It is about the insight of others and the power of the
Spirit working in us all. It is not the strength of others; rather it is their eyes,
words, and assistance, and our allowing God to be our strength. To remove
Satan from our lives, we have to fell him—not just ignore him, but run away from
him and to God, and allow others to help us in our scurry.
Objections to Accountability
The other typical objection believers give is that we are not under any kind
of law, and now we have liberty and Grace, so it does not matter. A prominent
Christian leader a few years back asked me, after I had done a workshop on
accountability, Why is this important? Can’t I just live my Christian life as I
please? After all, I have liberty in Christ! I answered him to the best of my ability,
but he just would not get it; shortly thereafter, he fell and fell hard. It turned out he
did not like accountability because he has been having a long-term affair. He did
not want to be convicted! Our liberation is not to protect us from conviction; it is to
enjoy our Lord so we can pursue His precepts as we realize our indebtedness to
Him.
Liberation simply means Christ has set us free (John 8:32-36; Rom. 6:3-
23; Gal. 5:1). Paul was overcome by his liberation in and by Christ (Mark 7:18-
19). He stressed that we must behave and be responsible in the correct manner.
We many enjoy our freedom, but freedom does not entitle one to do anything one
wants, just as living in a “free” county like the U.S. does not, as we cannot steal
or murder or not pay taxes. What about free will? Yes, we have “free will;” Calvin
spent most of his writings discussing this fact. He taught that we have
responsibility, and duty to faith and prayer, three areas that require free will. We
are still to allow His work to continue in us; the Holy Spirit will lift our sin and our
will out of the way. If you truly give up your will to God, will you be liberated or
would you be obligated as a servant/slave with no real life as you would see it?
The fact is that you are free in Christ! The question is how will you live your life of
freedom?
1. Freedom from law. (Rom. 3:19; 6:14; -15; Gal. 2:20-21; 3:23-25)
2. Forgiveness, acceptance, and access to His presence. (Rom. 5:1-2)
3. Freedom from having to base our acceptance on our performance. (Rom. 7:
7-11; 10:3)
4. Freedom from sin, and declared cleaned! (John 8:34-36; Rom 3:19; 6: 3-23;
1 Cor.15: 16; Gal. 3:10-20; 4:21-31)
5. Freedom from our own faulty thinking and superstitions. (1 Cor. 6:12-13; 8:7-
13; 1 Tim. 4:1-5)
We are not to allow our liberation and freedom in Grace to cause people
to stumble by our actions or inactions. Our faith and actions are monitored
closely by God as well as by other people, and we must realize that our actions
are more influential than our words. We will either lift people up or bring them
down! Hypocrisy is perhaps the most deadly threat to new or weak Christians
who fall victim to it, and is a heinous sin against Christ and His children by those
who cause it! We, as a body of Christ, must seek to show right actions to one
another, to be cautious, and to act with charity, humility, and self-denial within our
Christian liberty. We are still called to be responsible in the correct manner. We
may enjoy our freedom, but freedom does not entitle us to do anything we
want. A true Christian will never destroy another person's faith so he can have
his own way! Our freedom must not bring dishonor, division, or disrepute to the
church.
The first two objections are from theological standpoints, but what most of
us struggle with is emotional—our fears and cultural hesitations. Connecting with
others and exposing our feelings may be much easier for most women; but, for
men, this is sometimes a seemingly impenetrable barrier. It can be a scary
business to share your feelings and be open and introspective, as people may
betray us, belittle us, or ignore or step on our heart. And to tell you the truth, yes,
that can happen. It has happed to me several times, as close accountability
partners have betrayed confidences and spread rumors. However, the benefits
have far outweighed the few times I have been wronged.
Remember, people will hurt you, because people who hurt are usually
hurting themselves and they do not know how to relate (which an accountability
group can help with). What can we do to overcome this obstacle? Be vulnerable,
yet discerning. Only allow people whom you already know and trust to be a part
of your support group, and advance slowly. Start off with a few of the simple
questions and prayer; as you get to know one another, you will build the trust. (I
did not do this with the people who betrayed me!) When we feel safe, we are
more apt to share; this goes for both men and women. When we feel safe, we
better receive essential positive feedback, listen to constructive criticism, and
have a longer and deeper prayer time.
Burnout occurs when our spiritual energies are totally exhausted, and we
have no will or vitality to make relationships, or whatever our task is, work. We
are completely worn-out and spent. Thus, if we stay in our position without being
refueled, we will just be throwing a monkey wrench into vital components,
causing them to break. If you are a leader, your burnout is especially devastating
to others because you will be the monkey wrench that sabotages the machine of
ministry. We may not desire or be willing to do so, but because of our lack of
availability due to the fact that there is nothing left of us, we are of no service,
and are, in fact, endangering the vitality and ministry of others.
The stresses of life and the hassles of family will get us down and test our
limits; even the best-run family will have this problem from time to time. So, how
can we tell if we’re just tired or are experiencing burnout? First, we need to ask
ourselves the accountability questions. If we are operating in His precepts, it is
probably just exhaustion. However, if we find ourselves being apathetic and
detached from our families, we have a problem. We have to be on guard against
the most destructive force, pride! Pride and arrogance will produce a superiority
complex. Then, we become careless towards others and lose our perspective of
what God has called us to do. We can hurt our family, our friends, and if we are
married, cause intense harm to our spouse. Either the pride, the refusal to set
boundaries, the refusal to be accountable, or a combination of the three will
cause us to fall into burnout and lead us into sin. We have to be willing to
determine if we need an overhaul or just a good night’s sleep. A mentor or
accountability partner will help us see the warning signs.
You can expect that people at home, church, and work, in addition to your
loved ones, friends, pets, and acquaintances will ask you for favors as in your
time, resources, talents, or attention. This is good and you should do what you
can, but there will be times when they will deplete you, causing you stress. You
cannot be everywhere nor do everything! So, you have to learn how to build a
fence that says I love you, but can you leave me alone for now! The most
important aspect in preventing stress is saying NO in a firm yet kind way with an
explanation of why. That way, you can be better prepared. People deserve a
reason; don’t just say no! Be honest, even if you just need time alone. Do not feel
guilty; you have to take care of yourself first before you can care for others!
Leading a lawless, indifferent, irreverent life while having a faith that is just
fire insurance from Hell may save you—may; however, you will reap dire
consequences for this mindset (Deut. 18:15; Matt. 22:13-14; 23;1 Cor. 10:11-13;
2 Cor. 5:11)!
God designed the church as the body of Christ. Thus, we are called to
utility and cooperation so we can be there for one another in times of fun as well
as stress. We are called to encourage and equip as well as hold each other
responsible to the commitment we have made in Christ as Lord.
But exhort one another daily, while it is called "Today," lest any of you be
hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13
To get involved in an accountability group, first look for an existing one you
can join such as a small group through your church or a neighboring church if
your church does not have one. Make sure it is gender specific—men to men and
women to women. Most of these groups are found under men’s or women’s
ministries. If none are available or you are not led to one, hook up with another
two or three people and start your own. You can find people through a church
leader or pastor. In this process, make sure you are in prayer, asking God to lead
you in the right direction! The substance of why and what you are doing is more
important than the form of how you do it. See our small group channel for ideas,
as an accountability group is just a small group with more emphasis on
accountability (Small Groups). The key to making this work is for you and the
other participants to be open, submissive, listening, and authentic so you can
confess your sins in a safe, confidential environment.
How can we do this? By seeing others with the eyes of Christ—to see
love, compassion, and forgiveness. Take the one another passages to heart
(One Another Passages), and when we do instruct, warn, or even chastise, do
it in the parameters of the fruit of the Spirit, without judgment or commendation
(as there is no such thing in Christ!). Then, we can be open and honest with one
another. God gives us the faith, the strength, and the empowerment to do this,
and when we are with others, it is synergized! It is not about our weakness, it is
about His strength! When we rely on God and build one another up, we grow in
faith and maturity and become more effective to one another. This is reciprocal,
and will replicate and continue.
Accountability Questions
Take it slow and easy. Don't try, or even expect, to immediately delve into
the deepest, darkest corners of your life. Begin by having your close friends hold
you accountable for things like praying regularly and integrity issues. As you see
the results and benefits of this, you will also be building up trust, which is
necessary for accountability in more personal and private areas. If you need
further help in this area, seek a qualified and trusted pastor or Christian
counselor. Also, seek someone to whom you can be accountable. Do not just
trust yourself; have a small group or mentor ask you these questions on a regular
basis!
Richard Joseph Krejcir is the Founder and Director of Into Thy Word Ministries, a
missions and discipling ministry. He is the author of several books including Into Thy
Word, A Field Guide to Healthy Relationships and Net-Work. He is also a pastor, teacher,
and speaker. He is a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California
(M.Div.) and holds a Doctor of Philosophy in Practical Theology from London (Ph.D).
He has garnered over 20 years of pastoral ministry experience, mostly in youth ministry,
including serving as a Church Growth Consultant.