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 Table Of Contents – Part 2

Chapter 10: Messages Of Obsession Formula (Drama Techniques)______ 3

Chapter 11: Knock Out Baby Technique _________________________ 11

Chapter 12: Oomph Of Love Technique_________________________ 44

Chapter 13: Attraction Lock-In Technique _____________________ 73

Chapter 14: Magnetic Bonding Formula ________________________ 87

Chapter 15: Classy Naughty Technique__________________________ 106

Chapter 16: The Impatience Rule______________________________ 138

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 Chapter 10: Messages Of Obsession Formula
In Chapter 9, I spoke about the emotional cage reality that men are stuck in, and I
also mentioned how, because of this, men are natural born thrill seekers. What this
ultimately means, is that men actually WANT drama.

Now I also spoke about good stress, or eustress, and bad stress, or distress. Good
stress is the embodiment of necessary drama. It’s the kinds of thrills that we allow
ourselves to experience or go through, so that we can experience a peak mode of
ultimate pleasure and happiness. In this case, the more the necessary drama, the
merrier.

It’s basically like winning the emotional lottery.

This is EXACTLY what men are after, but most of the time they can only get a few
thrills here and there, with their thrill seeking ventures. They ultimately look to
women, therefore, to fill in the rest of the blanks, and to actually help them fulfill the
“other half” of everything they are still missing.

What are they missing? Well they are still missing proper emotional fulfillment. They
don’t have a place to put all of their emotions, so this means that, again, all of the
good emotions are pent up, and locked away, until a man feels safe enough to unlock
the cage.

To recap on what you’ve also learned, men are also extremely vulnerable, once they
do unlock their emotional cage, which is why they are very, very careful as to who or
what they allow near this cage.

Now, men NEED drama, because of the fact of how their emotions work. They need a
place, and a way to release those emotions. Until or unless that way is created, their
emotions build up, until the guy emotionally explodes, but this “explosion” is never a

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good thing, because it usually means that a man has imploded internally, before this
ever was made known externally.

Ultimately, what the Drama Method will do, is it will give you the ability to completely
remove the internal emotional implosion that men feel, from bulking up their emotions
over time, by giving them a release, similar to the one adrenaline gives them, only on
a scale that is so grand, that it will become impossibly addictive to a man.

But, before I can tell you how to do this, there is just one more thing that I have to
show you, for your own benefit, when using this method. I have shown you that men
need a certain kind of drama, and that they actually seek it out, privately, right
underneath your nose. But did you know, that men NEED drama beyond this level as
well, ESPECIALLY in a relationship, otherwise they get bored, and leave?

Let me explain.

I want you to imagine a beautiful goddess of a woman. Let’s say, that this woman has
every facet of beauty, that you could ever imagine. Everything about the way that she
looks, is beyond reason. She is absolutely stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, and sultry, in
appearance.

Now, let’s also say that this woman is with a man who loves her. She can be married,
engaged, or dating, depending on the preference- but she must be with a man, who
wants to be with her.

This man, of course, is absolutely thrilled, because he 100% feels that way about this
woman. He finds her to be the most stunningly beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes
upon, and he is definitely more than attracted to her.

So, let’s allow some time to pass, shall we?

Maybe 6 months, tops?

What do you think would happen between these two, after 6 months have passed? Do
you think they are still together, and their love has grown stronger… because of this
fact?

If you thought this, you’d be dead wrong. In fact, you’d be so wrong, that the real

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truth would shock you.

A couple in this situation, would not even last 6 months, regardless of their
relationship status either. It wouldn’t matter how long they had been together, before,
either, because the reason upon which everything started, will quickly become the
death of the entire relationship.

In this case, the basis of the relationship, was attraction. The man was obviously
smitten, with this woman’s beauty.

But as you learned in an earlier section of this program, men need, desire, and crave
something more, something BEYOND simply “love at first sight” itself. Especially in this
day and age, that reality really does not apply.

In fact, the whole “love conquers all” thing, doesn’t work, as you’ve learned. What’s
even more devastating, to this reality, is the fact that men easily grow bored of a
woman’s looks. As you’ve learned, love alone does not conquer all. The same thing
applies to physical attraction.

While it may “start” a relationship, it simply cannot, on its own, SUSTAIN a

relationship. Eventually a man will grow ‘used’ to the way a woman looks, even if she
is the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid eyes upon.

What happens once a man grows used to something about a woman, is that this
woman must step up to the plate and deliver something more, to further fuel and
sustain his interest. If she does not do this, and continues to rely on the initial basis
for attraction, such as her beauty, in this case, then a man will grow bored, because
she will be unable to fulfill him on a deeper level.

Looks alone, can only fulfill a man for so long, before he becomes bored of them. This
is why men, need to be stimulated, mentally, emotionally, and physically, beyond that
level, and even beyond the level of love itself.
They NEED this, and when they don’t get it, guess what they do?

They either stray, or they leave. You’ll note that with Amy’s story, at the beginning of
this program, her man also strayed. In fact, he cheated on Amy.

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Now it might be reasonable to expect Amy to hate Derek for that, and to never forgive
him, but Amy realized one KEY thing. What was that thing she realized?

Part of it was her fault.

See, the problem is this: Amy thought that she was fulfilling Derek’s every desire and
dream, by mothering him to death.

But what she learned, was that he didn’t actually want to be loved, the way that SHE
wanted to be loved.

What does that mean exactly?

Well, it means this: the way that you want to be loved, will never be the same way
that your man wants to be loved. If you want to be treated extremely kindly,
passionately, gently, and want to be able to talk out all of your feelings, and to be
comforted when you are hurting etc… with your man, trust me, your man has a
different idea of how HE wants to be loved.

That’s all fine and dandy for you to want that, and many men would be more than
willing to oblige that, but it’s important to learn, that just because you want those
exact things, that it doesn’t mean your MAN wants that for himself, as well.

Amy made the fatal error of trying to love her man, the way she actually wanted to be
loved herself, and it resulted in her simply mothering the guy, and smothering him
with all kinds of things, that actually never reached him.

Why didn’t her attempts to reach him work?

Again, it’s because that’s not what he needed, and it’s not the way he needed it. Amy
also didn’t know how to communicate properly with him, which also meant that most
of her attempts to reach him, ended up confusing him more, and he almost always
got the wrong message each time.

Another problem, that Amy realized, was that love simply was not enough, and that
Derek had grown bored of her looks. Amy had to bring something else to the table,
beyond simply her “beauty”.

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The reason she couldn’t get him to commit, and the reason why she just couldn’t get
him to become 100% exclusive to her, is exactly that same reason. Derek actually
feared spending his life with Amy, and had even referred to her, as a “Heck No” reality,
if you recall.

He feared committing to her, because initially he was attracted to her looks, but over
time she failed to help him become attracted to the other parts of her, parts that
would have maintained the relationship, if they had finally been fulfilled.

Now, Amy eventually did fulfill the other aspects over time, and this caused Derek to
completely commit to her, and to finally give in emotionally. They now live happily ever
after, in the “right” way, but this only happened when Amy realized that there is more
to fulfilling a guy than simply how you look.

This is why necessary drama is important. To help illustrate this for you, I want you to
imagine your favorite food.

You can only pick one thing. Do you have something in mind? Something you really
crave, and love, and could eat a ton of?

Got it?

Good.

I want you to imagine that you are only allowed to eat JUST this one thing, for the
rest of your life.

Now imagine, day 1 of eating this thing. It would be amazing, mouth-watering, with a
“man oh man, this is delicious” kind of a feel… right?

How about day 2? Still pretty good, and it feels awesome to be able to eat this two
days in a row, because of how delicious it is.

What about day 3, though? Day 4? How about day 16?

Remember that you are ONLY allowed to eat this one thing. You literally cannot
substitute or change anything out. You must only eat this one thing, from hereon out.

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By day 60, this is going to probably be your least favorite food, even if you really like
it, isn’t it?

Try multiplying that into the future, for the rest of your life.

You’d have to say “no”, now, to this reality. Why would you have to say no, to your
favorite food?

It’s simple: you need variety. In order for this to be your favorite food in the first
place, you have to be able, allowed, and given the opportunity to actually try, eat, and
enjoy other foods too.

Without the dramatic element of other foods, EVEN the not so great ones, you’d never
be able to feel that you have a favorite food. If anything, you’d end up in a cycle of
unnecessary drama, as you eat the same thing every day, spitefully.

Keep in mind that the only reason you ever gained appreciation for your favorite food
in the first place, is because of the variety reality, which in itself, is a form of necessary
drama. This is the same reality that has to be present between you and a man.

You must create a variety reality, otherwise you will cease to remain or become his
ultimate and most desired outcome.

If you don’t do that, just like with the example of the beautiful woman, a man will
become bored, and will quickly stray, either emotionally, mentally, or physically. Either
way, he won’t be “all there” emotionally, and he will only be partially in the
relationship after that, because it’s impossible for him to feel fulfilled.

Using the Drama method, therefore, is the ultimate key into creating a variety reality,
in your relationship, so that you are appealing to every sense, desire, wish, and need
that your man could possibly ever have.

Now I know this sounds extremely difficult, but it’s actually pretty easy. There are a
few simple core steps that you must follow to achieve this, and then the rest comes
naturally. So here’s where I’d like to introduce you to the second half of this program,
by introducing the steps behind the Drama Method.

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There are exactly 4 steps which you need to follow, as the core principle or base of
the Drama Method itself. These steps allow you to infuse the right amount of
necessary drama into your relationship, to fulfill your guy to the ultimate level of
emotional intensity peaks, which in turn, makes him see you as the ultimate resource
for eternal fulfilment.

What are those steps exactly?

Step 1: You Charge Him Up Emotionally- Which means that you give him an
emotional high, by raising his emotional temperature. It means that no matter
whatever situation you are in, you have to twist his ‘love intensity knob’, to make the
situation a lot more spicy.

Step 2: You Offer A Little Relief From The Charge- Which means that you give
him a little relief, by diffusing some of that charge, or by offering some relief from the
charge. How? You open a loop, but then step back, or talk about something different,
to give your man the space to handle, process, and deal with this new charge. At this
stage of the step you can also substitute stepping back or changing the concentration
on the subject, by rewarding him with intense levels of appreciation, respect or
admiration.

Step 3: You Make Him Work To Get Complete Relief- This means that you only
go halfway, but make him come the rest. This means that you do not hand him the
relief, or the complete reward, without making him first earn it, and work for it.
Making a man work for the relief, ignites a deeper purpose within him, that he
ultimately feels pleasure in having activated, through you.

Step 4: Renew Him- Which means that you diffuse the charge, and charge him up
with something new. You open up a new loop, after this, and thus give him something
else to work on.This means that you don’t just start something, and then leave it as is,
hoping that your relationship will be fixed with just one thing, but it instead means
that you will move on to another technique, or method so that you are always
renewing your man’s ability to have his emotional peaks raised, at all times.

The basis of these 4 steps is simple: You emotionally charge him up, and you
maintain control over the level of the charge, throughout timeframe that actively have

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the charge working. You only release that charge, once you have him, where you need
to be, if that means emotionally, mentally, or physically, either way, you maintain
control.

Because men look to women as the ultimate emotional masters, and because men
react based on how you act, this means that by holding onto the emotional charge,
and tuning it up and down based on his reactions, you can completely change the
outcome of any situation you are in with a man, or your relationship.

In the coming sections, you will see how to apply these 4 steps to even more powerful
tactics and methods, where I will show you exactly how to use these steps, to get
specific results. Keep in mind, however, that the basis of each new tactic you are
about to learn, remains the same.

The core of each one, still centralizes around controlling the level of emotional
intensity, and using necessary drama to achieve this result. The coming sections will
show you exactly what kind of necessary drama, you need to use, to do exactly that.

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 Chapter 11: Knock Out Baby Technique
~Treat Your Man As He Wants To Be Treated~
The best way to control a man’s level of emotional love intensity toward you, is to
treat your man as he actually wants to be treated.

By now you’ve probably heard the saying… “do unto others, as you’d have them do
unto you”, which basically translates in most people’s minds as this:

Treat people, as I want to be treated.

But let me tell you something shocking about this reality…

Men don’t actually want you to do that. In fact, they HATE it when you do this.

Why?

Men don’t want to be treated, as you want to be treated.

The problem with prescribing to the “I am treating you, as I want to be treated”

mentality, is that you end up loving your man, in a way that YOU actually want to be
loved.

But, in his world, that love means something else, because it’s mostly created, driven,
and projected in ways that actually are more in tune with what you want, need, and
desire.

Again, if you are loving your man in a way that basically represents how you actually
want to be loved, and thus, is really a form of how you want to RECEIVE love, then
you are doing it all wrong.

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I want you to imagine, for just a quick second here that your favorite kind of ice
cream, is chocolate. Now, since this is your favorite kind of ice cream, you want others
to enjoy it equally as you do.

So you give them this ice cream too, expecting that it will taste the same to them, and
that they too will react as strongly as you did, since it’s your favorite ice cream.

But, suddenly, other people start to tell you, that it’s “OK”, but it’s not their favorite.

Confused, you begin offering them more and more chocolate ice cream, just thinking
that if you simply give them more, that eventually they will “get” that chocolate ice
cream really is the best.

But, the only thing that happens then, is people start avoiding you, and they even
start to feel as if you are a little bit crazy.

They have already communicated that this wasn’t their favorite. But, instead of
accepting that response and reality, you just keep trying to give them more, and trying
to convince them that they must accept your reality.

In your mind, if you can simply explain it, and offer more, people will eventually
agree.

But the reality of it is, people simply cannot agree, because no matter what, their
tastes are different.

Now some of those people might agree, and say “hey, chocolate is my favorite too”,
but it’s extremely important to understand, that you have to let the other person
choose, and feel like they are allowed to choose, their favorite flavour of “love”.

Prescribing to the “do unto others” mentality, means that you are actually trying to
force somebody into a reality that completely centralizes around what you want, and
how you want those things.

When you are dealing with love, and a man, however, you cannot do this. You have to
completely change your level of approach and thinking, because your man wants to be
loved in a way that reaches him.

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This may, or may not be the same as the way that you want to be loved, but you must
allow him to communicate, in the very least, what it is that he even wants.

A lot of women completely cut off the communication, by trying to TELL the man what
he should want, by projecting the “do unto” reality onto them.

They start loving their man, intensely, but in a way that reflects heavily, the same kind
of love that a woman wishes for in return.

Just like with the ice cream story, a lot of men might come in and say “hey, this isn’t
my flavour”, or they might not react as strongly as you wish.

So a lot of women, end up trying to give the guy more of their “chocolate ‘ love’ ice
cream”, after that, thinking that they just need to do more, say more, and love harder,
and then the guy will give in.

But as you can see, it’s not about how hard you love, or how hard you try to convince
him that you really do love him. It’s actually just about HOW you love.

As you are starting to see, the “how” is all in the art of the approach, and the art of
the approach in this case, simply means, learning to love your man the way he
actually wants to be loved.

Do this, and you will reach him on an extreme level, because you will be pleasing and
fulfilling him to such an unimaginable level, that he will melt like putty into your hands
after.

It’s important to note, therefore, that men want to be treated a certain way, and as
you have just learned, that way doesn’t always look, sound, or feel like what you are
used to, and it might be something completely different than how you want to be
loved.

But this is completely alright. In this section, I am going to show you exactly how to
use a tactic that helps you to implant addictive seeds of desire into a man’s mind.

This tactic, utilizes the ‘treat a man as he wants to be treated’ rule, to help you
implant an idea into your man’s mind, that you are his resource for the ultimate form
of approval in love.

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Now, what exactly do I mean by, approval in love?

All men have a certain standard within them that seeks to uphold a certain level of
approval, because every man commands a certain level of respect.

Respect to a man, is the ultimate boundary condition, wherein he actually uses it to

draw his boundaries, and define himself.

Due to this fact, a man also commands respect in his relationships as well, because it’s
a part of how he defines himself, and it’s a part of how he gains acceptance within
and without, in his lifetime, regardless of his age.

This is true throughout every facet of a man’s life, from his friendships, to his career,
to his family, but a man has a whole NEW level of respect and boundaries pertaining
to this, when it comes to love and intimacy with a woman.

The history of man, actually lends an interesting insight into the reason behind why it
is that men need to have, and feel respected in their relationship, and even within the
other kinds of interpersonal relationships that they experience in their lifetime.

You see, the history of men, is one that has had men providing, leading, and guiding
their tribes, and families ever since the dawn of time. It is deeply ingrained in the
male subconscious, therefore, that his role in life, and society, is one that has him
commanding, therefore, a certain level of respect.

Why is that?

Well, for a man to be able to command a group of people, or to lead them, or even for
a man to be able to provide for a group of people, he has to be able to first be in a
position where the people want this from him, and feel that he can provide it.

This is where respect comes into play, because if you truly did not respect somebody,
you’d never listen to what they had to say, or take what they had to offer. In fact,
you’d be more likely to reject anything that this person could do for you, based on
your lack of respect.

Thus, respect to a man, means his ability to in essence fulfill his core purpose as a

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man. What is that core purpose?

That core purpose is to provide for, to command and lead, and to guide.

It’s so important to a man, to be seen as capable in this purpose of his life, that a man
would even rather be seen as stupid, than to be seen as incompetent, unable, and
even unworthy of respect.

Men even peg the importance of respect as being above and beyond their need for
love. You see, a man could put up with a great deal of many things. A man could
handle or even accept being seen as stupid, or cold even, and he could even handle
not being loved, but no man wants to be seen as being the kind of guy who is
unrespectable in nature.

Now this does not, by any longshot mean that men simply don’t want to be loved, or
that they don’t want love. Quite the contrary. In fact, men start to begin feeling loved,
and begin to open up to love, once they feel they have first established a boundary of
respect surrounding their relationship with a person.

Have you ever, for example, seen a “mama’s” boy? This is the kind of guy who
basically would do anything to please his mother, and he listens to her every word.
This behaviour even drives some women mental, because it means that his mother
always gets the final say, even over his own girlfriend or wife!

But let me explain something here, about this kind of a behaviour. If you ever see a
man commanding himself in such a way, it means that there is a level of respect going
on, in that relationship, so deep, and so profound, that the man will more than go out
of his way, to love that person, to even unreasonable levels.

What is even more astounding about the “mama’s boy” relationship, is that it means
that the man’s mother would have so intensely given her son a level of respect, that
he feels absolutely fulfilled in returning anything she desires, back to her.

This is why “Mama’s boys”, are often seen going well out of their way to please their
mother, and their relationship is often more intensely strong, than any other kind of
relationship.

At first glance, to many outsiders looking in, it might appear as if the mother is heavily

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controlling, and that she has an unrealistic grip over her son and his life, but if you
were to really look into this relationship, all the mother has really done, and ever did,
was give her son a level of respect.

Once she did this, the son felt important, and found a purpose, therefore in everything
after, the love in the relationship only grew to intense amounts.

The good thing about this reality, is that you can replicate it, on an equal and even
greater capacity as well, but this time, without having to “mother” your man into
loving you. There is a way to get the same response, in your love life, and in your
relationship with a man, wherein he will equally open up his control panel of love to
you, and allow you in, to get, do, and have anything that you want from him.

Now keep in mind here, that this isn’t some kind of sneaky, under the table trick here.
You can do this right in front of your man, even with his awareness, and he will
literally WELCOME this reality.

Why is that? Well the answer is simple: as long as you give a man the level of respect
that he needs to feel fulfilled, he doesn’t care what else is going on.

Again, a man would willingly allow himself to feel stupid, to be considered cold, and to
even forfeit love, if it meant that he was avoiding a disrespectful situation. Men, will
go out of their way to ensure that they command respect, which means even allowing
other intense situations, just to accomplish that.

This is why, once you respect a man, in the way that he needs, you will find that it
wouldn’t bother him after this point, to actually do things for you, and that he won’t
even feel bad doing it either, because the main thing, that was the most important to
him as a man, is being fulfilled through you.

What’s even better about this reality, is that because men are hard-wired to be
providers and helpers, it means that once you show him that you respect his
leadership, as a man, he will then proceed to fulfill his other core desire, which is to
provide for you and help you.

This is why a man who feels respected in his relationship, is often seen as going above
and beyond to help provide for and help the woman giving him this respect.

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It means that if you need certain things from your man in the future, whether that is
romancing you, or helping you around the house, or listening to you… that he will
more than oblige, and in fact you will find him agreeing with you more often than not
after this too.

So remember, to prioritize respecting your man, as he needs in the relationship, to in

turn have his main priority taken care of. Once you take care of a man’s main priority,
he then has all the room in the world to concentrate on anything that comes after this
priority.

Keeping that in mind, there’s one more thing I’d like you to know about this respect
and love reality. In the earlier sections, I hinted at the idea that women are emotional
thinkers, because they have been encouraged to express this part of them, and to
define their lives around that reality.

But I also noted, that men, however, are logical thinkers, because they have been
discouraged from openly evolving around their emotions, and thus they had to take on
a different level, and reality of thinking, which we call logical thinking.

Now all logical thinking is, is simply a form of reasoning that takes your personal
feelings or emotions out of the equation.

To best give you an example of what this means, I want you to imagine for example,
that you have a pet cat, but your cat is sick, and old.

Your veterinarian is telling you, that your cat may need to be put down, but because
you feel so deeply for your pet, you opt for surgery to try and save your cat, and
prolong his/her life.

A man in the same situation, although he may feel equally passionate about trying to
save his pets life, would more likely opt, however, to actually put his cat down.

Why is that?

Well, this is where a man would bring logic into the situation, because the situation
requires for a decision to be made.

Should he spend a great deal of money, on surgery for his pet, and hope for the best,

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only to have to come to the same conclusion, because his cat is sick and old.

Or should he allow things to be, as they are, because his cat is dying, his cat has lived
a long life, and his cat is old, and let his cat pass away?

Logic would dictate that a man would have to remove his personal feelings from the
situation, even if he wanted to spend an eternity with his beloved pet, he has to
consider reality.

Reality, therefore, will tell him that putting his cat down, might be the best thing for
his pet, because then his pet no longer has to be in pain, no longer has to suffer, and
doesn’t have to go through an intense and even more painful surgery.

Logic would remind a man that his cat is old, and has lived a typically longer life, than
what was expected, and so, trying for anything further would just be trying to post
pone the inevitable at this stage. It would mean putting both himself, and his cat
through more pain.

Thus, the only conclusion left, therefore from this man’s logical perspective, would be
to let his beloved cat pass away, and although this is a painful decision, he had to
consider his cat’s quality of life, and other things, above simply what he felt.

Now this may seem like an extreme example, but it’s the perfect example of the kind
of thing that goes on in a man’s mind, even when he is dealing with love, but
ESPECIALLY when he is dealing with respect in a relationship.
Now, there is one more thing which must come into this mix, because of that reality.
It’s something called:
Logical Attraction
Men are therefore wired to focus on their visions, thoughts, and ideas, before they
focus on the feeling surrounding any of that. More importantly, is the fact that the
forefront of all of their thoughts, is always going to be what is going on cognitively
and logically, rather than emotionally inside of them. Ultimately, this means that the
forefront of a man’s thoughts is fueled by logic, rather than his emotions.

This is also why men appreciate and need respect, because respect is more of an
action of logical confirmation, than it is of emotional satisfaction. Respect means that
the other person involved, logically recognizes the importance of that man, and that

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they recognize this man as being valuable and useful.

It means that the other person, isn’t relying simply on how they feel, but rather are
relying on the actual facts of what is, when they approach that person. This is exactly
what a man is looking for, wants, and needs, when it comes to love. This is actually
called “Logical Attraction”.

He wants you to be able to think beyond your feelings, to see who he is, what he is
capable of, and to recognize his importance beyond your feelings. Why is this?

Well, again, men were not taught to rely on their emotions to guide them. They were
taught to rely on logic. But there’s an even deeper reason for this need that men have
for logical attraction, which is this:

Your emotions can fluctuate. It’s impossible for you to feel only one way, and one
emotion for all of eternity. Your feelings, move, fluctuate, and change, because your
circumstances in life will never be the same either.

Men recognize this, and therefore are weary of relying solely on emotions, because
they know that instant changes can come in life, but they especially know that
relationships go through all kinds of changes.

It’s impossible, therefore to predict 100% how things will be, and is dangerous,
therefore to rely solely on how you ‘feel’ about somebody, to dictate your entire future
together.

Men require a deeper confirmation, to feel secure, and will actually avoid committing,
until they start to see that this confirmation is present.

What confirmation is that?

The confirmation that you respect them and that through this respect, logical
attraction exists. You see, respect, in a man’s mind, equates as a deeper emotional
understanding.

It means that, no matter how much your emotions waver, and that no matter what
goes on outside of the relationship (or circumstances of life), that you do in fact
recognize this man as being important, as being capable, and as being competent.

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It means that you put faith in your man, and that you trust him, to do the right thing,
and to know what to do, no matter what the circumstance is. It means that you will
also recognize this, even if he makes you mad, or upsets you.

It means that you will still be there for him, on a deeper level, even if your emotions
are not always on the same page.

When you do this, you will find that a man will act a lot quicker to rectify and fix a
situation, wherein you emotionally are lost, or have been hurt by him. It means that
he will move extremely fast, to ensure that you feel better again, because again, he
knows that you EXPECT him to do his job as a man, and to lead, and that you respect
this in him.

Thus, respecting a man, also means drawing an invisible, but known boundary
condition, wherein a man knows that it’s his job, from hereon out to take care of you,
because you have shown him that you TRUST him to do that.

Respect therefore = trust + logical understanding

This equation, although at first glance, might have seemed rather confusing, but
again, it’s all about Logical Attraction here, to a man. He needs you to prove that you
can value him beyond your emotions, and that you can logically recognize who he is
as a man.

Doing that, of course, comes in extending a level of respect to a man, in the first
place, which then tells a man that he can trust you, and that you are capable of
understanding him. To extend that level of respect to your man, you must first
understand one important thing, which is known as this:

Addictive Seeds Of Desire

You’ll notice that this section is called the Addictive Seeds Of Desire tactic.

Now here is where everything ties in together, because the main basis of the Addictive
Seeds Of Desire tactic, is everything you have just learned. The core principle of this
tactic, is simply using logical attraction, to fulfill a man’s desire and need for respect.

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This tactic, is actually aptly named so, because doing this, is basically the equivalent
of implanting seeds of desire, into your man’s mind.

As I pointed out with the earlier example of “mama’s boys” who often can be seen
going out of their way, to please their mothers, the reason they do that, is because a
seed of desire has been planted deep into their core.

This seed, over time, grows up, into a blossoming tree of trust and understanding.
Again, if you can prove to your man, that you are capable of trusting his ability to
provide, guide, and help, then you will have effectively opened up the eternal door to
receiving this reality from a man.

When you open up the door of trust, in his ability to do this, it means that a man feels
100% comfortable, therefore, in doing everything and anything for you, to help fulfill
that purpose further. It means that you finally recognize, but more importantly,
ALLOW your man to actually become a giver, provider, and helper in your relationship.

The same is true for “mama’s boys”, only with a little bit of a difference in dynamic.
These men go out of their way to give, provide for, and help their mothers, because
once again, their mothers have extended a level of respect, which in turn shows their
sons, that they are welcome to fulfill their ultimate purpose as a man, of being the
provider and giver in the relationship.

After that point, there are no more questions, doubts, or excuses in the way. If a
man’s mother asks for something, she simply receives it, after that point, and her son
is more than happy, and willing to do it too.

The importance of the Addictive Seeds of Desire tactic, in this case, is that it takes this
same reality, but completely digs deeper into a man’s core. In this case, you involve
attraction, which is logical in a man’s mind as well, which creates an even more
powerful response, and reaction from a man.

It shows a man that you are the kind of woman that he can spend his life with, and
the important thing to note here, is that when a man gets into a serious relationship
with a woman, he is in effect, creating an entirely new life.

Before this point, his life is that of his family, and work.

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By using logical attraction, you open the door to a completely new life, for your man
to create for himself, which finally gives your man the power to be seen as, and to
fulfill his destiny, as a provider in his lifetime.

He would finally have a new family, and something of his own to create, provide for,
and fulfill. This is why the Addictive Seeds of Desire tactic is extremely powerful,
because it gives your man his own purpose, one that he will defend, protect, and fulfill
till he dies.

It’s important to note that men are always after the ability to create and fulfill a
legacy. They want to be able to create, and leave something behind, something which
makes them feel like they have fulfilled a greater purpose in life.

Now in the coming sections, I will explain a little bit more about the purpose of a
man’s legacy, and what it truly means in your relationship, but for now, know this:

After a man’s need for respect, this is the next, most intense need that a man will ever
have, for the length of his life.

But, by using the Addictive Seeds of Desire tactic, you can effectively take care of
BOTH of these realities, by firstly opening up the door, for him, to actually do this
through you, in the first place.

So how do you prove to a guy, that you are capable of having a level of Logical
Attraction toward him? There are 4 levels of respect which you need to fulfill, in order
to make a man feel fulfilled with Logical Attraction.

Each level, implants an addictive seed in your man’s mind, which grows to fulfill his
needs. When this happens, your man will effectively desire you more and more,
especially as the seed solidifies and grows with time, because at that point, he won’t
even be able to remove it.

Think of it like an amazing tree of life. This tree blossoms, and creates “love fruits”,
which your man can eat, if he wants to have more in life, or if he simply wants more
of life itself. Each time he takes a bite of the fruit, he feels rejuvenated, more alive,
and feels his sense of purpose being fulfilled and satisfied.

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Now over time, to satisfy his hunger, he will have to come back to this tree. But, this
tree is in your garden, and your man knows this too. So to receive from the tree, he
must enter your garden, and thus he comes back to you, addicted to what you have
to offer.

Now, when it comes to the 4 levels of respectful fulfillment, which I just mentioned, I
want you to imagine that this same tree, has 4 different fruits, with each one, fulfilling
a different need, but each still equally capable of calming his hunger. He can come,
therefore, and have a variety, so that not only is his hunger fulfilled, but his desire to
have variety therein, for each different craving, is also fulfilled.

What’s important to remember about this idea, is that no other tree, will be like the
tree you have planted. The trees that other women plant, or try to offer, will be more
like lemon, orange, or apple trees. Sure they satisfy the hunger, but they don’t fulfill
him on a deeper level. They simply scratch the surface.

Would you rather, eat a fruit that made you feel like your ultimate purpose was
satisfied & fulfilled your hunger… or would you instead, want a fruit that simply
stopped making your stomach growl?

Obviously when given the choice, you’d pick the first fruit, the “love fruit”, because it
simply offered you far more, and still satisfied your initial hunger.

This is why your seeds of desire, when planted will become 1000 times more
addictive, because not only do you scratch the surface, but you dig deeper and help to
fulfill an even stronger desire that men have.

So what do you have to do then, to implant the addictive seeds of desire? There are 4
things which you need to fulfill, and they are as follows:

Step #1: Give Him A Feeling Of Emotional Choice-

Because your man’s main desire is to feel as if he can provide, lead, and guide, as a
part of his core purpose and make up as an individual, it means that you man MUST
feel as though he actually has a choice.

Failure to make your man feel this, means that he feels caged, and feels as though
you doubt his ability to lead and provide for you. Part of extending respect to your
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man, in the way that he needs it, comes within the idea of giving him a feeling of
having an emotional choice in the first place.

What is an emotional choice?

It means giving your man the ability to CHOOSE to be with you, want you, desire you,
and have you.

A lot of women make the mistake, of trying to force their man to be with them.
Emotionally, it means that you are projecting, and appear to need your man on such
an extreme level, that it no longer feels like a choice to your man.

Again, you have to be able to prove to your man, that you are capable of respecting
his ability to lead, and part of that comes in the choices he makes. A man needs to
feel that he actually chose you, and that this is his decision.

When you project your emotional neediness onto him, by becoming clingy, calling too
much, or questioning his loyalty every 2 seconds etc… it means that you have now
made this into a decision that is ONLY yours now.

You have decided that you want to be with him, and this is final. A guy, therefore
feels, in that moment, that this no longer has anything to do with what he wants, or
his own decisions… and that now it’s all about what you want, and your choices.

It equates simply, to you not trusting in his ability again, and this means, in a guy’s
mind, that you don’t respect him.

So the trick here is to logically remove your emotional needs, temporarily, and to be
careful not to project your emotional needs heavily onto the guy. Let him know that
you are there, but don’t push the idea of being together, or having him want you
deeply, onto him.

Let him CHOOSE to have that, on his own, by giving him the emotional freedom and
space in the first place to do that. A man can’t decide to do that, if you are
emotionally projecting onto him, all of your wants and needs, every moment of the
day.

Therefore, if you are guilty of telling a guy all the time, just how much you love him,

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want to be with him, want to marry him, need him in your life, or need him to comfort
you, etc etc etc… to such a level where basically, you are turning your man, into your
entire life, almost, then you are only making a man feel disrespected, and worse:

You are forcing it upon him. It’s no longer a decision anymore. So the key again, is to
not seek his approval. No acting in a needy way, and no demanding him to fulfill your
needs, because you feel desperate or alone.

It means that you demonstrate your attractiveness, on a deeper scale, by using

restraint in the way that you act, and react around him.

Ultimately, what this means, is that you WANT the guy, but don’t need him. It means
proving to him, that you can handle yourself, and that he is not your “end all” or “be
all” situation.

When you do this, you ignite a “loss reality” within your man’s mind, which tells him,
that he better act, and choose to need you, or else he might lose you. It plays into the
“scarcity” mentality that we all have.

A scarcity mentality, is simply this ultimate fear, that there is not enough of something
to go around, and thus we must get as much of that thing, as quickly as possible, to
alleviate the fear that it might not be there forever, or always.

This is the same fear that every man has, but it’s only ever triggered in a relationship
situation, if the woman in question, first lets the man know, that she doesn’t need
him, but simply wants him.

It means, going halfway, but giving him the power to come the rest of the way,
himself, and to choose.

You’ll find that in this situation, men almost always come the rest of the way, simply
because you have shown and have proven that you trust him to make the right
decision, instead of trying to emotionally force him to do it, which in itself would mean
that you never trusted him to do the right thing.

Step #2: Give Him A Feeling Of Control- Again, playing into the ultimate desire
that your man has, to be allowed and appreciated for his leadership, decision making,
and provider realities, you give your man the ability, again to do this, by allowing him

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to have a sense of control.

As I explained in step #1, dumping your needs and desperate emotional projections
onto a man, to try and force him to do the right thing, and accept you, doesn’t work.
It in fact, signals to a man, that he should leave, because you don’t respect his
decision making processes.

Well, when you try to make a guy be with you, by heavily throwing every emotion and
effort therein, his way, you make him feel as though he has no control over anything.

It’s basically like saying this, to a man:

“Hey, be with me. Forget how you actually feel about this, or what you need or want.
Just do it anyway. It doesn’t matter”.

Nothing gives a man more fear, than exactly that: which is the feeling that he has no
control over any part of the situation, regardless of what is going on.

It completely removes his ability to actually be a man, and removes his ability to do
his job as a man in the relationship. A man’s job is to lead, and provide.
But you are stepping on his toes, and are basically saying “hey, that’s my job now”,
when you do that. Again, it means you aren’t respecting him, and you are trying to
use emotional attraction, to reach him, when he actually needs logical attraction.

Again, men don’t have the same level of emotional control as you do, which is why
you must give them LOGICAL control.

So how do you do that?

You temporarily suspend your emotions, at strategic intervals, so that you don’t make
it about “feelings” all of the time.

Now I know that you would like for your man to fulfill your emotional needs, and you
even find comfort in expressing your emotions, in his presence, but a mistake that a
lot of women make when it comes to this, is they turn the entire relationship into an
emotional nightmare.

Everything becomes about how you feel, and about your feelings after that. It means,
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it becomes all about you, which means you are trying to be in power, and in control.

All of this, once more, equates to you undermining your man’s ability to lead, and help
you fulfill your needs. It means you prematurely project your needs to the forefront of
the relationship, and completely overshadow any of your man’s needs, at the same
time.

This is why you have to strategically, and temporarily suspend some of your own
emotions, so that you don’t inadvertently make everything about you, and completely
cut off his needs, wants, and desires.

The relationship needs to be balanced. It cannot be about one person taking, taking,
and taking over and over again, all of the time. Worse, is the fact that you don’t even
allow your man to give to you, in his own space and way, by doing this. It means that
you are instead, draining… instead of taking at this stage too.

So how do you strategically remove your emotions, or temporarily suspend them, so

that the relationship isn’t always about how you feel?

You begin to take responsibility for some of your own emotional fulfillment, that’s how.
As I explained in the earlier sections of this program, it’s unfair, and even
unreasonable to expect your man to fulfill everything you could ever need, desire, or
want in life.

It means that you are asking your man to live your life for you, and that he is
supposed to carry himself, PLUS you, at the same time.

That’s an impossible request.

Fixing this problem,therefore comes in your ability to begin taking care of some of
your own emotional needs, but more importantly, in learning how to separate a
relationship need, from a personal need.

Some of your emotions will have to be fulfilled by the relationship, and it’s completely
OK to actually ask for that.

But a lot of your emotions, you will find, actually should be fulfilled and dealt with on
a personal level. One such emotion, for example, is the feeling of loneliness.

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It’s insulting to a man, when you project this emotion onto him, because it’s basically
like saying this: “hey, even though we are in a relationship, I feel alone”. It’s the
equivalent, of punching your man in the gut, and saying “you are not enough for me.
Do more! Be more!”.

Is that how you want to be communicated to? Would you feel good, if your man did
that to you? Probably not, right?

This is why a feeling or emotion such as that, must be dealt with privately, and you
must look into the core problem causing that emotion, therefore.

Most likely, with a feeling like loneliness as the example here, it means that you are
struggling to accept your own company, or that you are dealing with some self-esteem
issues, that make you feel as if being alone in your own company is not fulfilling.

Why would that be true?

Well in this case, it would mean that you don’t see enough value in your own being,
and that you seek approval therefore, with your man.

This can become toxic if you allow an emotion like this into the relationship, because it
means that you expect your man to give you a feeling of self-worth and value, as a
human being. But this, quite obviously, is something that you actually have to learn,
earn, and give yourself over time.

This will never be something that another person can fulfill for you, or give you, even
if they wanted to, you’d always find yourself coming back, with doubts, and needing
more reassurance.

Why is that?

It’s because that self-worth, approval, and feeling of value came from somebody else.
It came from their ideas, their opinions, and their thoughts… all of which are outside
of your core. It will never feel natural, and you can never accept this 100%, because
of that fact.

It must come from within, be realized from within, and more importantly, be PROVEN

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from within.

This is why you’d find yourself always coming back and projecting this need to feel
valued, because you are lonely, because the answers and approval were never
PROVEN, they were just stated by the other person.

The only way to get proof, therefore, is to internalize that emotion and to deal with it
privately, outside of your relationship needs, therefore. It is a personal need, and
although you can ask your man for help, you cannot expect, therefore, in the future
for him to simply fulfill that emotion.

Again, even if he wanted to, he’d never be able to, because it is a bottomless pit that
can never be filled, until or unless, you actually recognize that this is an emotional
need that you actually have to personally fulfill and handle.

There are quite a few other emotions that have the same effect on a relationship, and
all of which actually are outside of the relationship. These emotions all tie back into
the negative emotions that I spoke about in Chapter7.

Basically, any time that you recognize an emotional need creeping up, that remotely
resembles something that makes you feel extreme pain, sorrow, or anxiety, then this
is almost always something that you should suspend, or temporarily hold off trying to
project into the relationship.

Almost always, when an emotion like that comes up, that makes you feel as
mentioned, it means that it’s something you must look at personally, and privately. It’s
not usually something that your man can fix, or change for you, even if he wanted to.

Now I listed some of those emotions, in Chapter 7, so I’d like to remind you that you
can always go back to that part of the program, if you need a reminder of exactly
what kinds of emotions these are.

You’ll notice that I also mentioned, that you must strategically suspend your emotions,
or you must learn how to not project negative and bad emotions into the relationship.
Doing this, gives your man the space, and room to actually help you, where he is
meant to, and shows him that you are not concentrating the entire relationship into a
“how I feel” reality.

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I’d like to clarify now, that in times when the emotions are positive, it is perfectly fine
to express, talk about, and even project those emotions. So if you are feeling happy,
secured, or excited etc… it’s perfectly fine, to stop and address that emotion, and to
even share it.

Doing this actually helps your relationship, because it signals to your man, that he
should be doing more of the things you love, because you are rewarding him with
positive feedback.

It also leaves him room to actually concentrate on giving you more of the ‘good’,
because you are no longer weighing him down emotionally, with all of your emotional
needs, and are giving him a reasonable need to fulfill now.

It also shows him that you are capable of handling yourself, outside of him, which in
turn gives your man a sense and feeling of control. If you do not do this, your man
will feel as if he has no control, because you would in effect be requiring him to fix,
solve, and help every aspect of your life.

It means you are telling him, that you cannot help yourself, and he would feel an
intense onset of pressure, as he tries to do his best, only to learn each and every
time, that no matter how hard he tries, it will never be enough.

Again, it’s important to remember that a great deal of your negative emotional needs,
actually stem from something deeper that you need to look at, address, and fulfill
outside of the relationship. Projecting them into the relationship, and onto your man,
means that you will be creating an endless and bottomless pit, which he can never fill,
no matter what he does.

There is no faster way, to make a man feel out of control, than to give him a
bottomless pit, but to still expect him to succeed in filling it. A man simply cannot, and
the feeling of loss of control in this situation, will be overbearing.

This time, it means that you are overbearing him, and that you don’t even trust
yourself. It makes a man feel disrespected as well, as he tries to work out, why it is
that nothing he does is ever enough for you, as you keep coming back with heavy
demand after demand, due to your emotional neediness.

Thus, the best, and quickest way, therefore to make him feel respected, is to bring

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some logic back into the mix.

Suspend emotions that you should actually be addressing yourself, but allow positive
emotions through, that are meant to be projected toward your man, so that he can
feel in control, and secondly, so that he can actually feel as if he can finally do
something with those emotions.

Note: this is the step that offers relief to your man, because you take away the
burdens that don’t actually belong in the relationship or on his shoulders, and thus
give him room to act, and react to the things that he actually should be responding to.

Step #3: Give Him A Feeling Of Emotional Significance-

This is the biggest, and most important step. Why is that? Men have fragile egos.

If it wasn’t clear already, it will be now: the whole reason why men command, and
demand respect, is because they have fragile egos.

Respect is all about helping a man resolve that internal conflict, of his fragile ego, so
that he always feels secure. When a man feels insecure, you will find that he becomes
extremely volatile, and even reckless. In that state, a man may insult you, become
rude, or say things that he really didn’t mean, to try and regain a feeling of power
again, and control.

Thus, as part of the logical attraction and respect realities, you have to help him
solidify his sense of ego and self, as strongly as possible, so that you never find your
man wavering therein, and so that he no longer struggles to maintain that internal
balance, within.

How do you do that? You give him a sense, and a feeling of emotional significance.

Every man wants to feel important (helpful), and wants to feel as if he is useful.
Again, a man could accept being considered stupid or dumb, but it would completely
crush his core, if somebody were to say he had no use, or that he wasn’t helpful.

Now I spoke a bit about this earlier, but I’d like to completely take the lid off of this
reality, by revealing something important to you now.

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You see, the reason why a man could take being seen as stupid, and even dumb… is
that it doesn’t change how he feels about himself. If he is secure within himself, his
abilities, and his understanding of himself- this would NEVER bother him.

In fact, it wouldn’t upset him in the least. As long as a man has confidence in his
ability, to provide, help, and lead, then he will NEVER feel compromised, no matter
what others think, or feel about him.

But, if somebody begins to start questioning his ability to provide, help, lead, and
guide… well then a massive controversy rises up deep within him, that now brings a
man to his knees.

Why is that?

Again, a man’s entire core purpose, is to be able to provide, and lead. Now, if
somebody is suggesting that he might not be good at that, it’s basically like telling a
man, that he’s not a man.

Every single man, will therefore fight that reality, to regain his sense of purpose, self-
worth, and being. It’s his job to protect his ability to be a man in the first place,
because after all, this is what a man stands for.

Who would he be, and what would he be, otherwise?

Thus, as long as a man feels secure, you could say and even do anything to him, and
he would not feel compromised. But if you cause a crack in that security, by
questioning or placing doubts within him, of his own ability to be a man, then he will
completely crumble, and will come back with a vengeance against you as well, to
prove you wrong.

So keeping this in mind, I’d like to talk about a little something called, “sucking up”,
that a lot of women are guilty of.

As I have just shown you, as long as a man is secure within himself, nothing that
others say, really has any significance to him, or in the very least, doesn’t affect him
deeply.

The only time, a man listens then, is when something is genuine and valid. This is why

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men freak out, when their ability to provide, help, and be a leader is compromised. It
means that there is a genuine concern, about their abilities, and they will immediately
address it.

But, if somebody just called them stupid, obviously that has nothing to do with their
ability. It just means that the other person is getting emotional, and most guys brush
that off, because nothing was proven, it was just a statement.

The same problem happens when you try to “smooj” a guy. What I am talking about
here, is sucking up to him, by giving him insincere compliments, or by telling him what
you think he wants to hear.

Tons of women are guilty of this, but it actually does the opposite of what you think it
does. Giving him a compliment, just because you want to make him feel better, or
because you are trying to inflate his ego, translates in a man’s mind, as a lack of
respect.

It means that you’d willingly lie to him, or falsely state something, simply to try and
achieve a genuine response from him.

Of course, in your mind, this wasn’t lying, and you were just trying to do the right
thing. But in a man’s mind, this was insincere, and it wasn’t genuine, it means that
you are all talk, and that you will say anything, even if it wasn’t true.

Again, heading back into the whole realm of respect, this is not what men see as
being respectful or even helpful, especially when it comes to their ego.

If you want to reach the male ego, you have to be sincere and genuine, even if it
means being brutally honest.

Remember, that what you think would hurt you, doesn’t actually hurt a guy. A guy can
even handle being called stupid, because again, he is secure within himself. So it
means, that as long as you are being real, and direct, that he can handle it.

Thus, the solution here, is to give him bits of respect, in everyday life, when he
actually deserves it, or has earned it. This is the strongest way to give your man a
better sense of self- worth in the relationship, but more importantly, to prove to him
that you actually logically recognize a level of importance and value in what he is

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saying, or doing.

The problem with sucking up to your man, is again, it shows him that you are
approaching the relationship, as an emotional reality. It means that you are turning
everything into a “how I feel” reality, and then it all becomes about your emotions.

Turning things around to only actually compliment him when he’s earned it, or when
he is actually doing something right, means that you respect him, and that you are
capable of using logical attraction.

Once more, a man needs you to have a level of logical attraction, so that you can
prove to him, that you can love him, desire him, and understand him beyond a level of
your emotions alone. He needs you to be able to recognize the true and genuine
value.

Indicating that to him, and proving that to him, means genuinely complimenting, and
speaking to him on a genuine level. It means you no longer falsely inflate his ego, or
falsely inject ideas or feelings that aren’t actually there, just because you wanted to.

Again, with step #2, you have to control what you release, so that he can actually see
the bigger picture, and can recognize what it is that you are doing in the first place.

“Smoojing” up to your man, is basically putting up a huge wall, that will ultimately
block him, one insincere compliment at a time, from being able to reach you, as he
needs to.

Thus, the ultimate way to give him a feeling of emotional significance, is to make it
sincere, and to not turn it into a game of only complimenting your man based on how
you actually want to feel, by removing false ego inflation.

If you make it genuine, and give accordingly- rather than always giving in, and dishing
out goodies to him excessively- he will actually start to feel, exactly as you wanted
him to, a lot quicker, and faster.

What’s even better about this method, is that he will become more consistent in his
actions, and words, because now you are giving him REAL feedback. It means that
you are finally telling him when he is really doing his best, instead of falsely telling him
that he is good all the time, even when he is not.

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Remember that the ego responds to genuine compliments, but also genuine threats.
Being real with him, when you actually need to be, instead of falsely telling him
everything is fine when it’s not, allows his ego to actually begin addressing and
changing things accordingly.

Earlier, I spoke about how a man will respond and react almost violently, when he
feels that his ego has been compromised, and the only way for that to happen, is for
you to question his ability to do something properly, on a level that matters to him.

When you implement this step, you will notice that his ego will activate, accordingly, to
push him to actually improve, fix, or change his behaviour, when a problem arises in
the future, because it means you are no longer falsely telling him all the time that he
is perfect, and that everything he does is fine.

It also proves, and shows your man that you are not becoming extreme with your own
statements, and projections. Kissing up to a man, is in itself extreme, because you will
say, and almost do anything, if you thought that your guy would feel good, in the
process.

The biggest problem with this, however, is that it signals to a guy, that you don’t have
his best interests in mind. Why is that?

Doing this, tells a man that you have your OWN best interests in mind. It means that
you’d lie, falsify, or blow things out of proportion, to fulfill one of your own needs or
desires. Once again, it means you are making everything about how you feel, and you
are once again overshadowing any of his needs.

This is why it’s extremely important to show him that you really do have his best
interest in mind, by not getting extreme with your statements. Again, try to withhold
your emotional feelings, so that you can deliver the reality first.

It’s ok to let your feelings come into the picture after this, but you must first show a
level of respect, that way, before you bring the emotions into the mix again. Prove the
logical attraction, so that you can bring in emotional attraction.

Logical attraction would simply dictate, that not everything your guy does is
spectacular. Logical attraction reminds you to not always kiss up to him, just because,

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but to do this when it has actually been earned.

Step #4: Do These 3 Unreasonable Things, To Give Him A Feeling Of

Freedom –

It’s important to create a certain atmosphere around your man, that makes it easy for
him to love you. Part of creating that atmosphere means that you may have to do a
few things, that at first seem completely unreasonable to you, but at the same time
those very same things mean the world to your man, if you were to do them.

It’s important to remember that what seems unbearable to you, as a woman, is

sometimes completely normal and fine in a man’s world. A man, for example, can get
away with bottling up his emotions, and could even feel fine with it, because he has
his own quirky coping mechanisms in place.

But you, however, under the same circumstances would feel like you were going to
explode trying to hold everything in.

This is the kind of unreasonable, therefore that I am talking about, when I say that
sometimes you must do unreasonable things. I don’t mean to say that these things
are completely out of the ordinary, or out of this world, but rather to say that they are
definitely out of your comfort zone, because they align more with realities that men
are comfortable with.

Ultimately, what these 3 unreasonable things will do, is they will put you in a position
where you can make your man MORE THAN pleased with you. In fact, doing these
three things, will make your man feel extreme joy, and infatuation toward you,
because very few women take these extra precautionary steps when it comes to their
relationships.

The point to these 3 unreasonable rules is simple. Sometimes you have to bend over
into your man’s state of logic, and being, so that he can know that you understand

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him, and so that you can be there for him the way that he needs.

This is no different than the moments when your man has to bend over sometimes
into your state of logic, to listen to you when you want to express your emotions, and
to be there to support you in your emotions.

This is not a natural thing that all guys go around doing, so if your man is doing that
for you, it means that he is bending over, to your reality, from time to time, to help
you feel comfortable, loved, and at ease.

There are many other things that men do to bend over into your reality, because if
they were to approach you from their reality, all of the time, you would never end up
feeling supported, loved, or cared for.

Why is that?

Again, a man’s reality is to come in heavily with logic, and problem solving viewpoints.
Sometimes you don’t need him to solve your problems, and instead just need him to
listen, or need him to be there to be your sounding board.

See my point now?

If a man were to come in strictly with his own viewpoint and reality, you’d end up not
feeling heard, and would feel as if he isn’t even trying to listen to you, because he’d
be busy telling you how to fix it, and would be pushing you to do something about it.

The same reality applies when you approach your man, in that sometimes you have to
be able to bend over into an area that actually helps him feel supported, in a way that
he needs, as he needs it.

The 3 Unreasonable things that you must do, therefore represent 3 things that you
will have to bend outside of your own reality, to do, but doing them means that you
will be able to make your man feel so loved, understood, and comfortable in your
presence, that he will become extremely romantic after this, because he will derive an
extreme sense of satisfaction out of loving you, the way YOU want to be loved.

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Why will he do that?

Because again, you will have taken the leap to love him the way he needs to be loved
first.

So, what are those 3 unreasonable things? They are as follows:

The First Unreasonable Thing - Give him an unreasonable amount of space. What
this means, is that you must give him space, even when you don’t feel like it.
Ultimately, it means that you give him space, EVEN when things are going brilliant.

I know this sounds absurd, and again this sounds completely unreasonable.

Why would you step away from your man, if everything was going perfectly?

See, that’s just it, if you want to maintain that PERFECT, you have to learn to back off
from your man, strategically, even when things are going well.

Why do you back off?

You back off so that you don’t ultimately end up overbearing your man with things
like:

A) The same routine every day, which ultimately leads to a feeling of boredom. Sure
things are great, but after a while this gets boring having the same level of “good”
always happening.

B) Your overbearing presence can ensure that even if things are going smoothly, that
the more time you spend around your man, the more time he has to notice your
annoying habits. Thus, the little things start to grow on him over time in a negative
way, just as they would grow to annoy you over time as well. You don’t want him to
get annoyed of being around you.

C) The relationship itself can overshadow the personal time that your man needs.
Sometimes men just need a break from the relationship. It’s nothing personal against
you, and it’s not meant to disrespect the relationship either. But sometimes men have

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things that they need time to work out alone, privately, but a relationship can eat up
so much of their time that they never get the time to privately problem solve on more
personal or private, yet unrelated things.

There is so much more that can be said about this, but the main basic point is simple.
Men need that space, plain and simple, and it’s nothing personal against you, again.

It’s just something that they need, so that they can regenerate, and so that they can
maintain a level of freshness and calmness for you in the relationship. It’s basically a
renewal period that you allow your man from time to time, in a loving way.

You must let him know that you want to give him this, and sometimes he may say no,
so the key then is to just let him know that it’s available if he wants it.

Doing this, once more, allows your man to renew himself, so that he is always at his
best level of presence in the relationship, and so that each time he can come back to
you with a renewed sense of devotion.

The Second Unreasonable Thing- You must create a life outside of your man. Now
this doesn’t just mean that you have your own job or career outside of him, and that’s
it.

Many women, when they find a man they truly love and desire, end up wanting to
turn that man into their life. They want to spend their life with this man, so they begin
converting their life over into his, until suddenly, the only thing that you are doing,
concentrating on, and are living in your life, is basically your relationship with your
man.

This ultimately translates to a reality where if you are bored, you want your man to
entertain you, or if you are sad you want him to cheer you up. Eventually it gets to a
point where any time something happens, or doesn’t happen, you come in with an
expectation that your man should help you solve or fulfill those things.

This places a heavy burden on men, and is an expectation that they cannot actually
fulfill. A man just simply put, cannot be your life, nor can he become your life. He can

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ONLY be something in your life, but he cannot become your whole life, and he cannot
be everything, therefore for you.

This is why it’s extremely important to learn to create a separate life outside of your
man, so that he sees you are a strong, independent individual, instead of a
needy/obsessive leech.

Now I know this is putting it pretty harshly, but if this offends you, imagine how tough
it is for a man, who feels like he has to come in and be everything, do everything, and
say everything for a woman, otherwise she has no life?

That’s an even harsher reality. So the message here, is this: get a life outside of your
man. It means that you have to find a way to fulfill some of your needs outside of
him, so that his load in the relationship becomes more reasonable, as well.

This means that you should begin taking up new hobbies, or widening your social
circle, without the expectation of your man having to be involved. It means that you
are your own unique individual outside of him, who has your own set of dreams,
goals, and interests.

Meanwhile your man has his own, as well, outside of you.

You’ll find that once you do this, and begin separating your life from his, you will have
a lot more to talk about with your man as well, because now you finally have some
unique, but interesting differences, in what you do each day, or each week, or in what
you are pursuing in your lives.

It adds a deeper level of quality and understanding to your relationship as well, as you
encourage your man in his dreams, and he encourages you in yours. It gives you
more to celebrate when you accomplish it as well, because now you are accomplishing
many things, instead of only a few things.

The Third Unreasonable Thing-is to show him an unreasonable amount of respect,

even when you feel he doesn’t deserve it. Men value respect at a higher level than
love even, which means that they would rather you respected them, before you even
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loved them.

Why?

Again, it’s about a logical level of attraction in a man’s mind, which proves a deeper
kind of love to them. Respect, in a man’s mind is basically like a deeper level of love,
and that love equates to a man receiving appreciation, acknowledgement, and
acceptance from those around him.

It’s kind of like this… would you want somebody to hate you, just because you made a
mistake, or did something wrong, even if you didn’t intend to?

No, obviously not.

You’d want them to still be capable of loving you, if possible, and in fact, you’d more
than love if they could forgive you, and could express admiration toward you,
regardless of that fact.

If anything you’d feel really good, knowing that somebody was not punishing you or
blaming you for that mistake.

Men want the same kind of a thing, only in a little bit different of a format. They want
you to be able to offer them a level of respect, even if they are not perfect, that tells
them that you are still supportive of them, on a deeper level, regardless of what is
going on otherwise.

When you give this to a man, ultimately it helps him to feel worthy, and ultimately
makes him want to return that feeling back to you, on a very strong scale.

So coming back to the 3 ‘unreasonable’ points together, once you do these 3 things,
you will find that your man will sway and bend more often into your reality as well, to
help fulfill your needs and desires, because you will have made it really easy for him to
feel comfortable and at ease around you, by offering him an extended understanding
that you communicated through actions, and not just words alone.

To Make These Steps Work:

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A key factor in all of these steps, is that you are not needing him to like you, or want
you, but instead you are just wanting that from him, openly.

Something brilliant happens, when you actually emotionally and physically step back
from projecting your needs onto him, and instead, turn them into “wants”… he comes
back, and fulfils your needs.

Why would a man do that, if you aren’t clearly telling him that you absolutely need
him?

This happens, because you gave him the space to actually need you, in the first place.
Men want to be able to need you, and want you, but if you make it impossible for
them to freely feel like they are allowed to, then they cannot.

Again, you don’t want to end up removing their feeling of choice, or ability, and thus
disrespecting their power to do this, but instead you want to make your man feel as if
this is his idea, that he is allowed to do this, and that he is FREE to do this.

By doing this, you grow from becoming the woman who was simply chasing after him,
to becoming a woman that HE now chases after.

Ultimately, this means learning to OPENLY respect him. What that translates to, is
simply this: you don’t need something from him, simply because YOU are doing the
right things.

You remove the expectation of: “hey, I respected you, and I therefore gave you
something, therefore you better be better with me”. It means that you are showing
your man, that you are not doing anything to earn, or even win something from him;
but instead are giving him the room to actually figure that out, and PROBLEM solve on
his own.

A part of a man’s leadership and helper mentality, means that men are heavy problem
solvers, and that problem solving is something that they NEED to do, to feel as if they
are useful, and are doing something right.

A lot of women, remove a man’s ability to problem solve, by handing him all the
answers, and by being too overbearingly direct with their needs, to such a level where

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you are practically gagging the guy, by forcing that down his throat.

There’s no fun, thrill, or desire therein, though, for a man to actually comply through
that method, because you completely removed the core key, required for a man to
want to give back to you in the first place.

That core key, is in allowing him to do his job, and giving him the space to figure
things out, and problem solve on his own. Your job is to guide him to your pool of
love, but you cannot stand there, shove his head in the water, and try to force him to
drink from it.

You simply lead him to it, let him know it’s there, and respect his own ability to figure
out what he must do with it. Again, remind yourself along the way that your man
WILL actually recognize, and know that this is a pool of love.

Remove the fear, or the idea that your man cannot see that this is a pool of love.
Remove the thinking that he is sitting there thinking it must be a pool of acid, or a
pool of rotten garbage.

No. Trust your man’s ability to recognize, and realize that this is the ultimate pool of
love, to drink from, by respecting his ability to first choose, to secondly know, and
thirdly, to therefore act accordingly therein.

That’s what the first three steps you have just learned, are all about, they are about
simply guiding your man into the right area, and then letting him know that you will
let him take the rest of the steps necessary, by trusting in his ability to do that in the
first place.

Doing this, means that you are now acting based on how your man commands
himself, instead of only acting based on the fact that you need something. It means
that, in your man’s eyes, everything you do from hereon out, is extremely genuine,
and valid.

It helps to remove any doubts your man may have about you, or the relationship,
because all of the unnecessary drama has been removed.

Do these 4 steps, then you’ll see that your man will desire you more, and will become
addicted to your presence, because you will be proving to him that you know how to
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treat him, on a deeper level.

Simply put: give to him, the way he wants to be given to, and you shall receive.

Chapter 12: Oomph Of Love Technique

“If you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for
somebody, you’ll end up not doing nothing for nobody.” ~ Malcom Bane

In Chapter 7, I spoke about how there are two kinds of emotions, we experience. I
also spoke about how we need both of those emotions to be fulfilled, because
“negative emotions”, are actually an indication of a deeper need.

Thus, by fulfilling negative emotions, a deeper need, want, or desire is ultimately

resolved.

The purpose of the Cocktail Drama Technique is to actually tie in together both
negative and positive emotions, so that a sweet mixture of fulfillment is created,
afterward, for your man.

That is why it is called the Cocktail Drama Technique, because it is a mixture of both
realities, to form one final, and brilliantly prepared cocktail of emotions.

This method, will show you how to blend together both kinds of emotions, and how to
actually resolve and fulfill negative emotions, within your man, so that by the end of
it, your man is left standing with only an intense level of awe and ultimate desire for
you.

So how does this technique work?

Well, the quickest way to tapping into any kind of emotional fulfillment, is to show and
exhibit a level of appreciation. By doing so, you give a man a false sense of power,
and a feeling of control.

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Now, when I say ‘false sense of power’, I use this term lightly, because the truth here,
as you’ve learned, is that you actually are in control, and you are the one guiding your
man.

But you never actually want your man to feel, think, or know this. You want him to
believe, and feel as though he is in control, and as you have learned in the previous
section, a man needs that reality to be fulfilled, before he can trust you.

I’ve shown you how to handle that reality, in the previous section, but the Cocktail
Drama technique takes this reality to a whole new level, by bringing emotions back
into the mix, and by furthermore giving your man the idea that he absolutely is in
control.

So how do you do that? There are two components to the Cocktail Drama technique.

The first, is the “give”. The give refers to the mental and emotional stimulation that
you give your man. This does not mean, simply giving things to your man, but it also
means giving to your man, in a way that has him working for what you give, which
brings me to the second point:

The second half of the Cocktail Drama technique, is the “take”. The take, temporarily
removes and suspends your man’s ability to receive, which in essence, means that you
stop giving to him. Doing this, causes your man to push for you to give in, and return
the “give”.

The reason this half of the technique, is called the take, is because you actually, take
back everything you just did, said, or gave…

Doing this, reminds your man, that he must earn it, and that it should not be taken for
granted. But, a much deeper response happens within your man, when you do this.

You see, the Cocktail Drama technique, is really a “halfway” reality, wherein you meet
your man halfway. It means that you don’t just give him everything, without him
agreeing or wanting to return any of that back to you, in the first place, but rather, it
forces your man to want to return everything back to you, ten-fold, just to receive
more from you again.

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This is why it’s a halfway reality… because you show your man, that something is
there, and you come halfway. But you let him WORK, the other half of the way, to
receive it, so that you are not left feeling used, and instead end up feeling
appreciated, desired, and wanted by your man.

The best part about this technique, is that it harnesses the power of both positive and
negative emotions. There is a powerful reaction that occurs, when you give
something, but then temporarily take away a man’s ability to receive it.

What is that reaction?

It’s a mix of negative and positive emotions. First you were making him feel good,
everything was going right. But then you removed his ability to feel good, in essence.

Now, negative emotions come into play. Feelings of loss, rejection, and insecurity
arise.

The power of this technique, comes in the fact, that in order to resolve those new
negative feelings, that he MUST first come through you, again, to fix this.

This isn’t something in his control anymore, and you now yield the power, which is
why he comes to you to fix this, and to feel a sense of control regained again. Until, or
unless you release him, in this very moment, he will do, say, and be anything that you
need, to come back to a level of “take” and receiving again.

Thus, you train your man, over time, to actually work, and want to work to gain a
“take and receive” reality from you. The result is an overwhelming level of
appreciation, love, commitment, and desire that comes from his end, as he ultimately
ends up wanting to give more to you, in order to receive more from you.

The end goal, is therefore achieved, of getting your man to endlessly fulfill your
needs, as he ends up feeling that his are equally fulfilled as well. I will explain in just a
bit, how this technique can actually fulfill your man’s needs as well, and I will even
show you WHY it is that your man requires you to do this, but for now, I want you to
remember that your man has an ultimate need to feel in power.

But, it’s your job to give him the ability to be in power, in the right way. In the
previous section of this program, I spoke about how a man needs a certain level of

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respect, because he requires a woman to have faith in his ability to lead and guide.

I also spoke about how some women take this idea, and end up ruining it, by trying to
kiss up to their man. Part of kissing up to your man, also comes in how much you give
him, without him actually having earned it in the first place.

I will explain this in just a bit, but understand that no man can truly appreciate,
desire, or want something that almost just fell upon their doorstep, without them even
trying to get it in the first place.

They especially will not want that thing, if the thing appears to be worn out, used, and
tattered. They would end up throwing that thing in the garbage, because it would
appear to be “gross”. Some men might even assume that this thing was simply a piece
of garbage that blew onto their doorstep, because of the condition it arrived in.

What do I mean by that?

Well, this is where one key aspect of the Cocktail Drama technique comes into play.
This aspect, is what I call the “Pedestal Secret”.

The Pedestal Secret

The “pedestal secret”, is a condition that men actually require from the women they
become intimate with, which commands women to become the ultimate prize.

A lot of women, when they approach a guy they want to be with, come in, with their
emotional neediness guns blazing, shooting at everything they possibly can.

This obviously, reeks of desperation to a man, which then suggests a very sick and
awful reality to a man.

What is that reality?

It’s an idea that you are just too easy to have, and thus that basically any guy could
have his way with you, and that you’d accept, and welcome any kind of guy into your
life.

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It tells a man that you are a low quality catch. You end up appearing to be the
wrapper on top of the actual thing the man wants.

To give this some perspective, imagine that you have just bought an item. On the
outside of this item, is a fancy wrapper, with all kinds of graphics to make the actual
item appear appealing.

When you were in the store, you actually found the item to be appealing, because of
the outside packaging, but when you take the item home, what do you do with the
package?

You unwrap it, and take the item out. What happens to the package then?

You throw it away.

It was nice, when it was introducing the actual item you purchased, but now you don’t
need it, do you?

An “easy to have” girl, is like the fancy packaging. At first, a man pays attention to it,
because it’s advertising this “amazing thing” inside. But then, when the man takes it
home, he reaches in for the actual item… only to find that the package was empty..

Why was the package empty? Because it was all about the package, and nothing else.

So what does the guy do? He throws it away, and he might even demand a refund
too, because he paid for something, that wasn’t there.

How does this tie into neediness, and being easy?

Anybody can get the package. But can you give the guy, the actual item inside?

Can you give him, the actual thing, that you are advertising?

Or are you just a flashy, but empty box?

The point here, is this: You can sell anything if you package it right… even junk. This
is going to heavily offend you, but understand that this honesty is only coming to you,
to help you, not to hurt you.

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An easy to have woman, as in a woman who easily gives in to a man’s wants, desires,
and needs, is almost entirely seen as being JUNK in a man’s eyes. The flashy
packaging, in this case, refers to how willing you are to give in to him, how nice you
are, or how giving etc…

All of that, is simply not enough, because the man needs the actual item, to be inside
of that packaging, and furthermore, he needs that item to be of quality.

No man wants to invest in something that he feels is actually junk, or low quality…
especially if that investment means taking a part of his life, and putting that back into
that thing.

That’s why you must prove to him, that you are the ultimate prize, and NOT just an
empty package.

Part of this comes, by removing some of your vulnerability from the mix. Yes, you
have needs, and wants, and desires. But you can’t heavily project that onto your guy,
because if you do, you appear to be extremely needy, but worse: you appear to be
easy.

Again, easy in a man’s mind, equates to junk.

Why is that?

Well if you start dishing out the goods, without even making him earn it, it means in
his mind, that he can literally do NOTHING, and will still receive.

The problem with this, is that a man will start to wonder, very early on, just how many
other guys you are this way around. This is the deadliest idea your man can ever
have, because it actually makes him disgusted, thinking about you, after that, because
now he will imagine that you have been this easily open and giving for everybody.

It’s no longer special or nice anymore. Now it’s just gross in his mind that you are this
giving, this open, or this nice etc…

Why is that?

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Again: the man didn’t have to do anything, to earn that reality or reward from you.
You simply handed it out, just because he was present.

It makes a man feel devalued as well, because again, you are compromising his ability
to actually give you more. In a guy’s mind, it also means that you see him as a low
quality catch.

We all have a worthiness factor within us, which actually demands that we earn our
own level of worthiness in everything. Now this doesn’t mean, that we must work
HARD for everything, all the time, and thus everything seems or feels impossible.

That’s not what this means. It actually means, that we have to feel we have simply
earned what we are receiving, at least on a justifiable level that we can accept in
ourselves. I will illustrate this with an example in just a bit, but for now I want you to
understand how this works with men.

In men, the worthiness factor is activated the minute he gets into a relationship with a
woman, because now he feels that he has to prove he is worthy to her.

But the problem comes, when women make themselves too easy, because now you
completely remove your man’s ability to actually be able to feel worthy. How did this
happen?

You gave everything to him, without even allowing him the chance or opportunity to
prove that he deserved it, and worse: you removed his ability to prove to himself, that
he actually deserves this.

It makes your man feel, again, like he is a low quality catch. Why is that?

In his world, it means that you’re just doing this anyway. It becomes a pretentious act
now, one which your man will not tolerate, nor appreciate. On his end, he sees this:
it’s not as if you are doing this because your man has earned it, or because he brings
that value to the table. You’re just doing it, out of desperation, and you’re doing it,
because you have an intensely hollow need to fill within your own personal emotional
void.

It lowers a man’s self-esteem, because it’s not coming from a place of genuineness,

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it’s rather coming from a place of seeking approval, and hoping in return that he will
give you approval.

To help you understand how this works in a man’s mind, I want you to imagine that
everyone was telling you to your face, that you are really good at playing the piano. In
fact, everyone starts to tell you how amazing you are, and no matter what key you
press on the piano, and EVEN if you aren’t even touching the piano, people applaud
you!

What if, however, you actually didn’t even know how to play the piano, and you KNEW
this. What if deep inside, you began to question the sincerity, therefore, of everyone
around you… because you actually know for a fact, that you don’t even know how to
play the piano.

To further solidify this idea in your mind, is the fact that people compliment you, even
when you aren’t even playing the piano, and moreover, people applaud you, no matter
what keys you press, when you are pressing the keys of a piano.

Would you, in that moment, EVER be able to accept other people’s praise? Would you
be able to believe them?

Would you even want people to tell you how great you are at playing the piano, after
this, when you’ve clearly proven to yourself that you don’t even know how to play the
piano?

What if, you knew that you sucked at it too, and a few people, were real with you
about it, at least?

What if you even couldn’t stand the sound of the piano as you played it, because of
how horribly you knew you played?

Would you still try to believe that you are good at it, and would you ever accept
anybody else’s words as a genuine compliment?

Or, would you think, and feel that people were lying to you, and you would reject their
opinions?

In this case, most people would probably reject the compliments, or opinions of

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others, if they knew that they really couldn’t do the very thing that everyone was
giving them praise for.

Why is that?

Again, people have to feel like they have earned that praise, at least on a believable
level. People desire the ability to feel like they DESERVE and have EARNED the praise,
and rewards that they receive from others.

Men have this same need.

But, unfortunately, a lot of women come in with the “easy” route, and start
complimenting their men on their beautiful “piano playing”, when their man actually
doesn’t know how to do that.

These women start giving that man all kinds of praise and rewards, for this reality, but
the man deep down inside, knows that everything that is happening from the woman’s
end, is not genuine, and is in fact, fake.

You cannot be in a position, therefore, of always giving, giving, and giving some more.
This is why the Cocktail Drama technique, involves both give and take.

The whole position of being “easy”, only exists, because some women only know how
to give, give, and give some more. They do not allow any room for “taking”.

It’s all about giving, regardless of whether or not the man had earned that, deserved
it, or actually needed it.

So the “easy woman”, in this case, refers to a woman who simply gives, gives, and
gives… but without having any sort of conditions in place, for a man to receive what
she has to offer, to begin with.

Being the giver, makes you vulnerable as well, because again, you now appear to be a
flashy package, without anything inside. A man can get everything, but if that
“everything” comes without the feeling that any of it is of value, a man will be forced
to discard those things.

Why?

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You’d be giving him absolutely nothing of what he truly wants, and in essence you
simply become the flashy package with nothing inside then.

Fixing this problem, fortunately, is simple. It involves the pedestal secret.

You see, within the kind of power that a woman is meant to harness, is a very
intelligent secret. What is that secret?

It’s the secret of the pedestal.

The pedestal is something you must place yourself high upon, so that you don’t
appear to be easy to have, to a man.

It means proving to him that you are the ultimate prize, by giving in to him, and
rewarding him only SOME of the time, and in doing so, you activate the ‘scarcity
mentality’ that I spoke of in Chapter 11.

The scarcity mentality, once again, is simply an ultimate fear within all of us, that
something of great value, will disappear, or will not always be there. When we
encounter something in which we see great value within, we end up making the most
of that thing, and thus we end up appreciating that thing to the max, because we
understand that we cannot take it for granted.

When a man appreciates you, it means that he sees such a level of value in you, that
he will go out of his way, after that point to please you, and to do anything for you, as
long as he felt that doing those things, would please you.

The best part about the pedestal secret, is that it removes your vulnerability from the
mix. So if you were desperate, lonely, and needy, when it comes to love, you will now
be able to mask that reality, and to control that reality, to a level where your man no
longer sees only THAT side of you.

The pedestal secret, allows a man to enter deeper into who you are, what you have to
offer, and so much more, because it creates a never ending chase, and challenge for
your man, but in a good way.

Your job here, is to never frame yourself as the helpless, and needy girl. Being the

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“giver”, all of the time, causes your man to see you as such. You must prove to this
man, that you are a powerful woman, who in herself, commands the very best to
come out from within her man.

Girls are helpless, needy, and fragile, but women are powerful, goddesses who know
how to take care of themselves, and in doing such, establish themselves as the
ultimate trophy, for a man to obtain in his love life.

This may sound strange, but a man wants you to be a challenge.

Why?

So that he can know, understand, and appreciate the fact that you truly are the
ultimate prize.

To help illustrate this for you, I want you to imagine a world, where the only prize was
a “participation award”, and that everybody got that prize, no matter what they did.

Would you feel good, special, or powerful in achieving this prize then, if everybody got
it?

Would it feel special to know that some people literally had to do nothing, and sat on
their butts, and still received it?

Would you feel good in knowing, that a million other people also got this prize? How
about, the fact that 7 billion people all got it, regardless of what they did to earn it?

They could have been low quality people, or complete losers, and yet they received
this “participation” award. Some of these people could have even been abusers, or
worse, and yet, they too would have received this award… and for what?

For simply participating. For simply being there. That’s the only criteria, and the
problem, as you can see with this reality, is that everyone “wins” or gets something
then.

There has to be, therefore, some criteria that goes beyond simply “being there”, or
being present. Otherwise the “award” or “reward” itself becomes useless, and even

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the people who receive it, would no longer see value in that prize, because they only
won it, simply by “being there”.

Again, people have to be able to reasonably justify the things they receive, especially
if they are things that appear to be a reward, within themselves.

If a man, cannot work out why it is that he is receiving something, aside from simply
existing, then he will have to question the entire purpose of it all, and then he will
wonder if it’s even valuable in the first place, if it seems like something “anybody” can
just come along and get.

The same concept applies to your man, and the relationship, which justly means
simply this: you cannot reward him, with everything that you have to offer, JUST
because he is simply there.

Sure, he’s interested in you. Sure he might even like you. But has he EARNED
everything from you, simply by participating and being there?

No, he has not!

You are turning yourself into a “participation award”, if you simply give in to your man,
and go all out for a man who is ONLY present, but who isn’t in himself, doing more
than simply existing in the relationship.

This is what the pedestal secret means- it means requiring a man, to do, say, and BE
more, before you allow him to reach you. It’s also important that you do, because as
you learned in Chapters9 and 10, men need the thrill of it all, to feel like they are even
getting any kind of emotional fulfillment or release.

Your job, of course, is to make your man feel like that release can come through you,
and it all starts with the pedestal secret.

Your man actually feels a sense of control and power in his life, when he takes part in
any kind of thrill, because again, that’s releasing a ton of emotional aggression for
him. It’s something that he finally feels, is in control, when his internal workings are
running wild emotionally.

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Part of the pedestal secret, is giving your man the thrill of chasing YOU. Yes, you
heard that correctly, your man should be chasing you, even if you have been in a
relationship for a long time, and especially if you are just getting to know one another.

It doesn’t even matter what stage of the relationship you are in either, because this
reality never goes away. It will always be true for a man, no matter how long he’s
been around you, and even if you feel like he already has you, and that you’ve given
him everything.

Remember that there is always MORE to give, and men are 100% open to receiving
more too. Part of giving a man more, comes in creating that “more door” for him to
open in the first place.

So how do you do that? How do you make a man chase you, and see you as the
ultimate goal, and desire?

You push him to do that.

How do you push a man?

Well, this is where everything comes full circle again, back to the Cocktail Drama
technique itself. You see, now that you understand the core drive within this concern-
which is to use the pedestal secret, and to never allow yourself to ONLY be the “giver”,
you are ready to learn the 2 simple steps, of the Cocktail Drama technique.

Step #1: The Giver-

Now a lot of women are pretty familiar with this step, but the giving that I am
referring to, is not the same kind of giving that most women are familiar with.

The giving that you are probably familiar with, involves a lot of the “easiness”, that I
explained is a huge no-no because of the pedestal secret.

But the KEY here, is that you only give him one thing at a time, not everything at
once! The second key to this step, is that you are very careful in what you actually
give him as well, so as to ensure that it’s seen as valuable and desirable to your man.

What I am talking about, is when you give a guy something, such as a compliment, a

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reward, or something that he’s been wanting from you for a long while etc… but you
attach a reason to it, and secondly, you attach that to an action of his, to further
validate it.

Thus, what you give him becomes genuine. You cannot play around with saying what
you think he wants to hear, or doing what you THINK he wants at this stage, without
actually telling him WHY you are even doing that.

In the previous chapter, I spoke of how men seek genuine validation, which means
that if you compliment them on something, for example, it has to be the kind of
compliment that isn’t just tossed around lightly, isn’t being said all of the time, or
simply has a rhyme to the reason.

You must, therefore, be able to deliver a genuine form of giving, one that only has you
ever giving that thing, genuinely (more rarely), instead of insincerely (or all of the
time).

A good example to help illustrate this, is a statement that many women make
constantly around a man, almost horrendously and robotically.

What statement is that? The “I love you” statement.

These 3 simple words, are almost like play-dough in a woman’s hand, and a lot of men
find this annoying. A man doesn’t want to hear every 10 minutes, how you love him.
In fact, the more you do this, the more he starts to question if you actually do,
because you are only ever robotically telling him that you do, as often as possible.

But you never seem to attach any reason to this statement. You simply just love him.

But a man needs to know WHY, to find value in it. He needs to be able to see what he
is doing right, or what is being done positively from his end, that is causing this love in
the first place, so that he can internally validate what you just said.

It takes away the value of the words, and the meaning, when you continuously project
your feelings, through one statement, all the time, over and over again, without
actually explaining any rhyme or reason to it.

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“I love you” will not mean the same thing to a man as you intended it to, after the
10,000th time of simply saying it and repeating it.

It ends up meaning “I am needy, and desperate, here, please take my love. Please”,
after a while.

Tying this all back into the first step of giving, what this means, is that you don’t hand
out your ‘gifts’ or ‘rewards’ to him like clockwork anymore, without first attaching an
action of his to the statement.

You must change it up when you deliver something to him, even if it’s something as
simple as saying you love him, so that your man can recognize and see the value in
what you are saying.

Likewise if you are DOING something for your man, you must change up how you
deliver that to him, so that he equally can see or understand why it is being done.
In the case of the “I love you X a million”response, that many women appear to be
stuck reusing, there is actually a very simple way to change up that reward of letting
your man know that you do have a positive feeling toward him. What way is that?

You simply attach an action to your feelings.

It means that instead of saying “I love you”, you now say something like this:

“You know what I really love about you?”

Allow the question to sink in a bit, because you are now building up curiosity for your
man to want to know. Obviously he doesn’t know yet, but now he will be waiting for
you to answer.

He is expecting you to simply come in and say that you love him, but now you are
saying that there’s something to this love, and this will definitely intrigue him.

But, this is where you now attach an action of his to the emotional statement, such as
saying the following:

“I really love how you take the time to listen to me, after I’ve had a stressful day. It

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makes me feel so appreciated and loved. Thank you”

Now here’s where things get interesting. Not only have you given him a reason, you
have also told him exactly what that does for you (an explanation), but you’ve also
rewarded him. (Thanked him).

So now you are giving on a level of 3 tiers, instead of one.

Before, you would have just said the feeling, and left your man hanging, as he tries to
figure out why you are even saying it.

But now, you’ve not only told him how you feel, but you’ve also told him what it is
that he does for you, inside of that feeling, PLUS, you’ve rewarded him for that, by
thanking him.

There are 4 things you must include, therefore, in any statement that you give to your
man, when it comes to the “giving” stage, of this tactic.

These 4 stages appear as follows:

Stage 1: Attach an emotional noun or verb, a.k.a. a positive feeling. Tell him
the positive feeling that you have, regarding what you are about to say. Examples of
this include, but are not limited to verbs like: love, like, enjoy, appreciate, admire, or
even statements, like ‘I am crazy about’, or ‘I really take comfort in’ etc…

Stage 2: Attach the action your man is being addressed for. State the thing he
is doing or saying, so that now your statement becomes about his actions, and is
justified, because you can prove he has actually done something now to earn that
feeling from your end.

Stage 3: Explain what this action does to you, or why you feel that way, by
attaching a “because” explanation. To further solidify what you are saying, as a
genuine and valid statement, you should tell him what it is exactly, about the thing
that you are addressing, that has led you to feel as described in stage 1.

For example, you could say something like this:

“I really love how you call me pet names, BECAUSE it makes me feel special knowing
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that we have our own private language, that only I understand.”

Or

“I really enjoy it when you hold me before we fall asleep, because it makes me feel
safe, warm, and protected”

Or

“I really take comfort in the fact that you always follow through on your promises,
because it shows me that I can trust you, and I appreciate that”.

Again, you are giving a reason now, as to why you feel that way. You are simply
explaining just a little bit deeper, why that feeling is important to you, or what you get
out of it.

The explanation can say anything, but try not to make it too complicated, and limit
your explanation of the reason behind the feeling, to only a few things, so that it’s
simplified and clear in your man’s mind.

Stage 4: Reward him, using appreciative words or actions. This stage can be
done in 2 ways, and the two ways can even be combined into one, depending on how
generous you feel, and how rewarded you want your man to feel.

The first way, is to verbally thank him. Now you can simply say “thank you”, or you
can take it a notch further and suggest that you appreciate it, using other appreciative
words, or statements, such as ‘I appreciate it’, ‘I am really thankful for that’, ‘I am
really fortunate to have someone as caring as you’, ‘I really enjoy that’, or ‘I am really
indebted to you’etc…
When you put each of these 4 stages together, into one statement, the backbone of
your statement now appears as such:

“ I really (Stage 1) it when you ( Stage 2). It makes me (Stage 3), (Stage 4).”

Remember that you are free to play around with the words, or actions that you refer
to, as it’s important to individualize this formula, so that it works in your situation, and
so that it’s believable to what you’d reasonably say, or feel.

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Doing this, will actually encourage your man to want to do more of the same actions
or behaviors that you are rewarding him for, because now you are giving him specific
instructions as to what exactly it is that you actually need, enjoy, or want from him.

Rewarding him, is indicating to a man, that you actually want more of what you are
rewarding him for.

This is why it’s extremely important to ONLY reward a man, when he’s actually earned
it, because FALSE rewarding (giving in to him, just “because”), communicates to a
man, that he should actually do more of the poor things that he’s been doing, even
though you clearly need him to improve.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t reward him for the small things either. In fact, you
can, and it’s encouraged. If he makes a small breakthrough, or takes a tiny step in the
right direction, you may reward him all you want, but always remember to attach an
action to the reward, and to never simply give to him, without first having him earn it
in some way.

Now, there is one more step, that needs to come into play here, so that you can
maximize the full potential of the Cocktail Drama technique.

This first step alone, works wonders, but there is one final twist which you can add to
the mix, that will absolutely drive your man mental, and will push him to take
immediate action, in any way that you need, or see fit for him to do, after, which
brings me to my next point…

Step #2: The Taker-

The “taker” is the one who almost exclusively receives, and takes, and “gets” in the
relationship. Now, as I’ve explained, you actually need a balance of both giving and
taking, for your relationship with your man to work, because if you limit yourself to
exclusively one pattern, you end up setting yourself up to be viewed as too easy, or in
this case as a low quality user, in your man’s eyes.

Either way, you end up appearing to be a low quality catch.

So what exactly do takers do?

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Takers are generally the opposite of the givers. They don’t earn anything that they
receive. They don’t work for it… whereas givers work hard for everything they do, and
they deserve any positive result they get.

This is not the kind of “taking” I am referring to though, because the kind of taking I
am actually going to introduce here, actually proves its worth, and earns its right to
receive. In doing such, you actually cause yourself to be seen as the ultimate
“Pedestal Secret” kind of a woman, because again, you are giving your man a way to
justify the “taker” attitude.

So how exactly do you become a taker?

The first step, is actually to be a giver. You’ve seen how to effectively “give” to your
man in step 1 of the Cocktail Drama technique, but the second step, is simple. All you
do, is remove everything you’ve said, so that you effectively put a stopper on how
much your man can get, without taking further action to earn more.

Normally, a typical ‘giver’ would compliment her man on something, but unfortunately,
she wouldn’t stop there. A lot of women keep on giving and giving, and giving some
more.

So eventually, even if you were complimenting your man, or were rewarding him for
something he did good, you actually stop somewhere in there, rewarding him for
doing the right thing, and begin to instead reward him for doing the bad thing.

This happens, because continuous giving, means that you are rewarding and
rewarding, without a pause, or lapse in time, that allows for your man to actually
respond to what you had to say in the first place.

You just keep feeding him with reward after reward, without actually stopping to let
him respond, or react to that.

If you were to actually stop, however, for a short bit, you’d notice that something very
magical happens.

Your guy tries to please you more. He does more for you. He steps out of his comfort
zone to now do MORE of what you asked, because now he not only has a reason to,
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but furthermore, you actually stepped back to let him do his job.

Remember how in Chapter 11, I spoke about the problem solving reality that men
have? Men want to be able to problem solve, because it’s a part of how they indulge
in their need to provide for others, and lead others.

Stepping back to allow a man the space, and room to problem solve, means that you
are actually giving him a chance, and the motivation, to come up with better ways to
do more of what you said you enjoyed, liked, loved, or wanted from him.

Failure to do this, means that again, you doubt his ability to do that, and even though
you clearly told him you liked it, you haven’t given him the space, time, or way after,
to do more of it, because you just keep bombarding him with compliment, after
reward, after ‘goody’… “just because”.

Well now you will be taking out that “just because” factor, and you will be replacing it
with a new “thrill of the chase” factor.

I mentioned earlier, within the pedestal secret, that you can create a never ending
chase, within your man’s heart, by proving to him that you really are the ultimate
prize. You show him that you are the prize, simply by creating the chase to begin with,
and that chase is created when you ONLY give in to him halfway, but let him work to
come through the rest of the way.

You can complete that reality, by offering up, a positive reality to the man with step
#1, but by stepping away to let the man work toward more of that, in this part of the
step.

It’s basically like showing the guy, a huge gold mine… but by then saying “hey, it’s
here, and you can even have access to it, but you’ll have to get your pickaxe out, and
dig a little, but it’s all here. If you do that, you’ll see that gold will appear, and it’s not
even that far down either.”

It’s important to note, that women who simply give, and don’t partake in step #2, end
up doing this, instead:

“Hey, here’s the gold mine, and you have access to it. Wait while I go get my pickaxe
out, so I can dig it all up for you.”

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Meanwhile, a little while later, these women end up doing this, too:

“Whew! That was a lot of work, but here… see… here’s all the gold! I dug up every
last chunk of it for you. Now I want you to have all the gold here. Here! Take it.”- and
then these women proceed to cram this down their man’s throat, and into every
crevice that they can possibly find, just to make him take it.

The poor guy, though, is left choking, and beaten up by the time these women have
tried attaching all of this gold onto him, so that he can take it.

But the fact of the matter is, he can’t even lift all of that gold at once, and secondly, it
was beyond bizarre for him to watch it all be dug up, just for him, without him even
earning or deserving it.

Obviously, it just sounds ridiculous, when worded this way, but that’s the same thing a
man experiences, when you ONLY do step 1… even if you are doing all of the stages
of step 1, the fact of the matter is, that until or unless you step back to let him work
for the gold himself now, you’d basically be digging it all up for him, plus giving it to
him, on top of that.

Trust, and understand that it’s enough to SIMPLY lead him to it, to offer it, and EVEN
show him where it is.

That should be enough, and honestly it is, so the sooner you accept the reality that by
rewarding him, and stepping back to let him work for the rest, you’ll both end up
succeeding, the better it will be for you.

Again, be careful to remind yourself, that you’ve actually done a lot in rewarding him.
You don’t need to come in and dig everything up for him too, and process it all for
him, and hand it to him. That’s actually his job, so stop stepping all over his toes.

Get off his toes, so that he can move to do it himself.

So how do you get off his toes then? How do you become a “taker”?

You apply a counter condition to everything you said in step #1.

What is that counter condition? You shut the giver door on your man, when it comes
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to him ever wavering or faltering on that subject ever again. You basically give him no
option, but to move forward, and onward from there.

I want you to imagine, that you are a huge building. Let’s say that there are 25 floors,
to your being. Your man is currently on level 1, after the first step of the Cocktail
Drama technique, but you actually secretly want him to be on floor #25.

Now obviously, he can’t just magically end up on floor 25 either. He must pass through
each floor, before he can ever get to floor #25, whether or not he takes the stairs or
the elevator, the fact still remains. He can’t get to floor 25, until he has passed by all
other floors first.

The way to get him to want to reach the other levels, and floors, though, is to let him
know that once he is on the ground floor, or level one, that there is no turning back.

How do you do that?

You give him something so enticing, and so powerfully gripping, that he won’t ever
walk out the front doors again, back onto the main street. This will be something that
pushes him so hard, to want to go to the next floor, and up into your building, that he
won’t even THINK about what’s outside anymore.

He will believe, after this point, that all of the gold, is within the building, and so he
works to stay there, and works to move up each level, to receive it all.

So what exactly do you have to do then, to close the giver door? You give him a
counter condition, which communicates to your man, that MORE of whatever you just
said, has to occur.

But you do it in a gentle and encouraging way, that leaves your man feeling like he
actually has a CHOICE to want to do it, and secondly, leaves your man feeling like it is
something he SHOULD do.

You do this, by rewarding him once more, but this time, prematurely.

To best illustrate this, I want to give you an example of this stage in motion. So let’s
say that you’ve just rewarded your man for being loyal to you. You’ve told him how
you appreciate how dedicated he is to you, and then you’ve told him what that does

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for you.

So now there’s only one thing left to say, and that’s the following:

“I know you’ll never cheat on me, because of this, and for that, I really appreciate
you.”

So the key here, is that there are 3 stages, after the “giver” step. Those 3 stages are
as follows:

Stage 1: State what you want to have happen in the future, or what you
want more of, matter-of-factly.

Use the purpose that you first gave to him, in step #1, of the Cocktail Drama
technique, as leverage for this step.

What this means, is that you remove all ideas that there is any doubt even in your
mind, that your man would ever NOT do this thing again in the future (encouraging
him to do more of this). So you must use words or phrases that reflect your
confidence now, in the fact that you KNOW your man will do more of that in the
future.

Statements which accomplish this reality, include, phrases like: “I know that”, “I can
see now, that”,“I trust that”, “I am confident that”, or “I feel secure therefore, in
knowing” etc…

Stage 2: Transition to the condition, which basically dictates a do or don’t

situation. This involves using action statements, like “you will/won’t”, “you will/will
never”, or “would/wouldn’t ever” etc…

And then insert the action or thing that you want to see him do, or not do.

You are free to play around in the delivery of the message, but the core must remain
the same. You must be sure to very clearly point out what it is that you actually
expect afterward, and to also make it clear that you are not even asking, but rather
are clearly expecting.

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There is no “might not”, or “maybe” anymore. You have completely removed the idea
that he “could” do something, but now are replacing that, with an expectation of what
he SHOULD do.

The phrases that I have just given you, very clearly indicate to your man, that you are
actually expecting more of that in the future, and it will be extremely hard for him,
after that point, to break free of that reality.

He will now be stuck, with an intense need to fulfill that desire, because you have first
rewarded him, but secondly, you have now made it clear that you want more of that,
using the very compliment you gave to him in step 1, as the purpose for him to give
you more of that.

Stage 3: Explain why you need this, by rewarding him prematurely. This is
where you add in a cementing and premature “rewarding statement”.

A cementing and premature “rewarding statement”, is a finalization statement that

gives a “why” to your request. Although you are actually telling your man what you
want to see more, or none of, in stage #2, your man actually sees this as a request.

Since he sees this as a statement of something you’d like further from him, that’s why
it feels like a request to him, but what you want to do, to make him comply, is to once
more explain the reasoning.

You do this by prematurely rewarding him, but this time, by using reverse psychology.
To do that, you simply reverse whatever it is that you said in step #1, and combine
that with stage #2.

So for example, if in step #1, you complimented your man on his honesty, what you’d
want to do next, is say something like this: “This makes me feel secure in knowing,
that you trust me enough to be honest with me, and I appreciate that”.

The reverse psychology, comes into play, with the part where you said that you know
that your man trusts you enough to be honest with you. This implies that he will do
more of this in the future too, and you tie all of it together, by further reiterating the
fact that you do appreciate it.

Some other examples of a reverse psychology statement, include, but are not limited

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to…
· “Because you’re not like other guys.”
· “Because I know you’d never disappoint me.”
· “I just hope things don’t go sour between us, because I’d really miss this about you.”
· “I trust that I am in good hands now, because you really know how to treat me like
a lady.”
· “I am really looking forward to more of this now, because I just can’t get over how
alive this makes me feel.”
· Etc…
Note, that you don’t even always have to tie in, a specifically thankful statement.
Simply stating that you expect more of that and why, alone, can be rewarding enough
for your man, because now you are literally telling him, that you can USE more of
that.

The idea that you can make use of more of that behavior alone, is rewarding to a
man, because it indicates to him, that he is doing something right, and that more of
that, means a better future with you.

It’s important, however to understand that you have to indicate what it is that you
want now or don’t want, pertaining to your original statement from Step #1 of the
Cocktail Drama technique, and to tie in an expectation of what you want or don’t want
in the future immediately after.

Doing this, actually rewards your man prematurely, because you are in effect,
thanking him for repeating this behavior in the future, by telling him that you KNOW
he will do more of that, or by clearly stating that you know he will ensure not to do
anything to compromise that in the future.

Have you ever seen a comedy skit, for example where a piece of paper money is tied
to a string. When somebody comes along to pick up the money, somebody pulls the
string, and the paper moves away.

Generally, the person might try to continue picking up the paper, but the person
holding the string keeps pulling it away.

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This stage of the tactic, is essentially like that, except with one huge difference. You’ve
given him the paper money, but you’ve attached to that, an entire bank account filled
with tons and tons of paper money bills.

You now, simply pull the string to lead him to that bank account, by telling him that
more or less of a certain behavior in the future, means that he gets the password to
that bank account.

At this stage, your man will want to oblige, because you’ve not only given him a small
tidbit of relief, but you’re also showing him something even bigger, in the picture.

So to sum up the 3 stages, into one equation, when you are done, you should end up
with a finalizing statement which looks something like this:

I ____(stage 1) that you____ (stage 2), because ____(stage 3).

So, some examples of this, to help illustrate all 3 stages together, look something like
this:

“I know that I can trust you now, because you’re not like other guys.”

“ I just hope things don’t go sour between us, because I love the way you do this for
me.”

“I know you’d never disappoint me.”

“I know that I can expect to see more of this in the future, and I appreciate that.”

“I know you won’t disappoint me, after this, because now I can trust you.”

“I trust that I am in good hands now, because you really know how to treat a lady.”

“I’m looking forward to more of that from you now, because you really make me
feel alive.”

“I finally feel secure, and I understand now that you would never hurt me.” Etc…

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To Make These Steps Work:

So, tying the two steps of the Cocktail Drama technique, together into one process,
what you ultimately end up with is this:

1. A rewarding statement, clarifying exactly what it is that you are rewarding and
why.
2. A cementing statement, further solidifying the importance of the first statement,
by now clarifying a future expectation, with the option of premature appreciation, to
further cement the idea.

When put together, into words, these statements, may sound something like these
examples, for reference:

“When you talk nicely to me, I really enjoy it, because it makes me feel respected. I
know that you are trying your best, and I look forward to more of that in the future.”
Or

“I really love it when you go out of your way to help me out with the little things. It
helps me to feel less stressed out, and shows me that you take responsibility in the
relationship. I now know that I can trust you to know when I need a little extra help,
and I appreciate that.”

Or

“I can’t believe how kind you’ve been to me lately. It just really shows how much you
truly care for me, and I trust that I am in good hands now. Thankyou.”

Or

“I really enjoy it when you take time out of your day to listen to me, even if you are
tired. I really feel understood when you do this, and I know you’d never disappoint me
because of this.”

Or

“I find comfort in the fact that you are so loyal to me. It helps me to know that you’re
not like other guys, and that you’d never cheat on me. I really appreciate that, about
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you.”

Etc…

Again, your initial statement can literally be about any topic, and you can use this
tactic for almost everything imaginable, as well, because of the way it is set up.

You can even use this method on intense subjects like, a concern with loyalty for
example, and what it does in that case, is it further solidifies in your man’s mind, the
idea that he should remain loyal to you.

Now earlier on in this section, I spoke about how the Cocktail Drama technique caters
to BOTH kinds of emotions, from negative to positive, and I also mentioned how this
technique can even HEAL negative emotions, to give a positive outcome.

I’d like to explain briefly, why this is so, now that you know how to use the tactic.

You see, when you use this tactic, you allow a man the space, and the room to
actually problem solve. But you also don’t let your man walk all over you either.

What this means ultimately, is that you remove any lingering negativity, or hard
feelings that normally would have remained in your relationship, because you now are
clearly communicating to your man, what you’d like to see more or less of.

You also help to resolve negative emotions, because you give your man a deeper
purpose.

What purpose is that?

The purpose of working to fulfill your needs, because now you have created a
challenge that he cannot back out of, but you’re giving him a reason to see ultimate
value in that purpose, so that he doesn’t want to back out of it anyway.

The reason why negative emotions can be resolved, as well, is because you are
actually directly addressing the POSITIVES that you’d like to see more of, and you are
rewarding the positives.

It means that you are not giving intense power to the negatives in your relationship

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anymore, but furthermore you help to alleviate any negative emotions by also directly
addressing them, but this time, without projecting onto your man, and without
dumping a ton of emotional baggage onto him.

This effectively gives you a way to still create and use necessary drama in your
relationship, but without causing further harm, or drawing upon painful things, but
rather by using what is already working, in such a way that it reaches your man on a
deeper level.

The best part about this particular technique is that the more you draw upon his
strengths and encourage that, the less concentration room your man will have, to
spend time doing all of the things you hate.

It also means less time spent on negative emotions from his end, which actually hurt
or bother you greatly… because now you have given him something else to replace
that reality with, something which is far more powerful than any negative emotion he
could have.

Another reason why negative emotions can be fulfilled and resolved with this tactic, is
because you are not addressing the negative with a negative. You are actually coming
in with a positive, and are encouraging growth and change in a positive direction.

It means that you aren’t nagging him, pushing him, or punishing him into an outcome,
but rather are encouraging, and are actually challenging him to bring out his best, by
reminding him of what it is that is so good about him, and are using that as
motivation.

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 Chapter 13: Attraction Lock-In Technique
“It’s not enough to be spectacular sometimes, you have to be spectacular every single
time.”
Have you ever heard of the fable, of the goose that laid the golden eggs? This story is
one of the many great fables told by a legendary man named Aesop, who lived a long
time ago. A fable, is simply a short story, designed to convey an underlining or
obvious moral message. I’d like to use this particular story, in this section, to help
demonstrate a very important message, which is at the core of the Sweet Turmoil
Method.

To do this, I’d like you to first hear the story, which is as follows:

“One day a countryman going to the nest of his Goose found

there an egg all yellow and glittering. When he took it up it was
as heavy as lead and he was going to throw it away, because he
thought a trick had been played upon him. But he took it home
on second thoughts, and soon found to his delight that it was an
egg of pure gold. Every morning the same thing occurred, and
he soon became rich by selling his eggs. As he grew rich he grew
greedy; and thinking to get at once all the gold the Goose could
give, he killed it and opened it only to find,—nothing.”

It might not seem like it at first glance, but this story actually has a lot to do with the
way that a lot of women approach their relationships, and it especially has a lot to do
with the way that women in general approach the art of love itself.

You see, in this story, your relationship is actually the goose, and love is the golden

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eggs that are being laid, for you, in your relationship.

Now a lot of women when they see the golden eggs start to appear want to come in
and get ALL of them at once, just like the countryman, in the story.

But, the result of doing that, means you ultimately, kill the goose… or in this case, you
end up killing the relationship. So then you are left with no more relationship, and no
more golden eggs of love either.

This is why it’s important to pace yourself, when it comes to your “relationship goose”,
so that you end up getting your little golden egg of love, each and every day.

Failure to do this, because you want to come in and get everything at once, when you
realize in the beginning that your relationship has the potential to give you the golden
eggs, means that you end up cutting open your own relationship, in an attempt to get
more.

This is where the Sweet Turmoil Method comes into play, because the purpose of this
method is to actually allow you the opportunity to pace yourself properly, and to set
your “relationship goose” up, so that you actually end up with a golden love egg
everyday.

So what exactly is the Sweet Turmoil Method?

The basis of this method is simple. You have your golden love eggs, and the goose
already… so everything should be going smoothly, and it is. But you have to throw in
the element of the pace, so that you don’t end up trying to take too much at once, or
worse: so that you don’t end up giving your man too much at once either, because the
same thing is going on, on his end too.

On your man’s end, the exact same thing is happening here. He has the goose, who in
this case is the relationship. You are giving him your golden love eggs as well. So he is
actually going through the exact same experience as you, and the same problem on
his end is almost 100% likely to occur.

What problem is that?

The greed factor.

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You are giving him a golden egg, but the first thought that pops up into a man’s mind,
is “what else can I get too” or “how much more of this can I have, NOW”.

There’s actually a reason for this, which I will get to in just a bit, but the moral of this
story is simple. It’s in our human nature to want almost everything at once, whether
that involves us giving, or us receiving, if we feel that the thing we want, is going to
give back to us, ten-fold.

So, the truth of the matter remains to be simply this: that we are inclined to want to
go all out, if we feel that the thing we are involved in, is going to give back more.

Now, earlier on I spoke about something called the greed factor, which in essence is a
response that many men have when it comes to relationships and love. They see the
goose laying the golden eggs, and the next thing you know, they are trying to cut the
goose up to get it “all” at once.

This is something that almost every man has within them, and it’s always activated
the moment that something seemingly valuable appears in a man’s life.

The reason for this, ties back into some of the principles which I explained to you in
the earlier sections of this program. Men are designed to want to lead and guide.

But, what you may, or may not have realized, is that a part of leading and guiding, is
conquering. That’s why men love to problem solve, because it’s a form of “mental”
and “emotional conquering” for them.

As you’ve learned already, men are often stuck with a lot of pent up emotions, with
nowhere to place them. When they get into a relationship, they’d like to be able to
start placing those emotions back into the relationship, but they can’t do that, unless
the woman they are with knows how to open that door for them.

Thus, until they can do that, they thrill seek. Problem solving, is a form of thrill
seeking for men, because it means that something can be laid before them, in which
they actually can dictate the outcome of, which ultimately means that they gain a
sense of control, figuring out how something works, or should be fixed.

The same is true, when it comes to conquering. This is why video games, sports, and

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basically any activity that involves a challenge where there is a clear winner, are all
addictive activities that men partake in.

So what does this have to do with love, and the Sweet Turmoil Method? Well,
everything.

Your man wants to be able to conquer you. He sees you as the ultimate challenge,
and problem which he can solve for himself. You see, although he won’t admit this,
and his pride would never allow him to reveal this… you really are the ultimate thrill
and challenge to your man.

That is, as long as you keep it that way.

What’s even more sick about this reality, is the fact that your man ENJOYS that about
you. It’s exactly what keeps him sticking around. If he didn’t feel that way, he would
have left, a long time ago. It’s that simple, in his world.

Of course when translated over to your world, it appears a lot differently. It looks
more confusing, is more frustrating, and makes almost no sense.

Why doesn’t it make sense for you?

Because on your end it looks something more like this, usually:

“I want you…” … “wait..no…no I don’t”…. “I want you again…”… “actually, never-

mind….”… “No, please I really do want you, just…”…. “no, now I’m sure I don’t want
you.”

Does this kind of behaviour sound familiar?

It probably does, even if you are in a long term relationship, or are in the initial dating
phase… I’m pretty sure that you’ve heard, or seen a guy behaving this way toward
you.

First he comes, on strongly. Clearly he wants you. But the next thing you know, he’s
pulling away again.

This behaviour continues for quite a while, and although it’s extremely frustrating to

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women, it has a very interesting effect on almost every woman, that cannot be
denied.

Which effect is that?

The effect of creating the chase.

What exactly does that mean?

It means that, over time your man either grew bored of you, or began to feel as if you
were not challenging enough to have, be around, or experience. So what does he do?

He pulls away, creates a bit of negative drama, and suddenly you are sucked into this
emotional vortex, where you find yourself chasing after him, as he pulls away more
and more.

This is a very typical tactic that men use, to either test women, or to create an
“imbalance” which they can come in and solve.

Why would men need to create an imbalance, or need to cause problems if everything
is going good?

Well it’s simple: for him it’s not going good. He’s becoming miserable, and bored out
of his mind. He NEEDS that thrill, to be maintained, again because it’s a part of his
ability to release his emotional tension.

So if everything is going fine, and he finds that the relationship and even YOU are
settling, almost always, a man will instantaneously pull away, on purpose.

The thing is, though, that this is mostly a subconscious response. Not a lot of men are
aware of this reaction, but the thing is, the ones who are, don’t stop it from
happening either, because again, there is a need that must be fulfilled.

The problem with this reality, is that:

A) It means that you are not fulfilling your man in the way he needs. He’s bored, he
wants to be challenged, and he needs you to give him something more than what is.
So, tying this back to the goose story, it’s like this:

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He had ONE golden egg, but now he’s thinking… gee… I had one, but now I need
more. How do I get more?

So then…

B)He pulls away, which in effect is basically like cutting the goose open, and it takes
away any control that you have over the relationship, and causes you to end up
needing him, running to him, and basically dancing to his every tune.

To tie everything back together now, the problem with point B, is that when you do
this, you end up becoming the golden goose who gets cut up, by the farmer, to see if
he could get all of the gold out at once.

But, let me ask you a pretty serious question, about this.

What do you think the farmer did with the goose, once he was finished with it, and
learned that there were no golden eggs to be had, through that method?

Do you think he cuddled the goose, held it, and told it how much he loved it?

Or do you think he threw it in a trash can, and got rid of it?

Obviously, the farmer would have gotten rid of the goose. It can’t lay eggs anymore,
because he killed it. He can’t do anything more with it now.

The same problem happens with point B, in that you set yourself up to appear as if
you don’t have any golden eggs left, anymore, when you give in to your man that
way.

Remember how earlier on, in this section, I mentioned that men want to conquer, and
that it’s a part of their ‘leadership’ programming?

Well, what exactly does conquering mean?

Conquering means to overcome, or to take control of. In essence, it means that the
man feels he has the power, is in control, and moreover that he has gained all of it, by
overcoming something.

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This same mentality carries on through into intimate relationships that men have,
wherein they need to feel like they are conquering and controlling it.

But this is one area of your mans’ life, where you shouldn’t actually give in to, and
here’s why:

Once a man conquers you, he is in essence “done” with you. He has done all that he
feels CAN be done with you.

So it is actually your job to create an ultimate chase, and an impossible mountain to

climb, for your man, so that there is always something sitting in there, for him to
actually conquer.

If your relationship is the goose, and the golden eggs are the love… then it’s your job
to make sure that your man doesn’t come in, trying to cut the goose open to get
EVERYTHING at once, because if he does, there is no more “relationship goose”, and
no more golden eggs.

That’s basically what everything means, here. This is the essence, of the Sweet
Turmoil Method.

It means that you must TRAIN your man, to wait, and take one golden egg at a time.
You do this by proving to him, that by waiting, and receiving one golden egg at a
time, that he will actually get MORE over time, instead of less.

You basically teach your man that cutting the relationship goose open, yields nothing,
and train him to want to receive the golden love eggs strategically, instead of
forcefully.

This of course, goes against the nature of what a man WANTS to do, because as
you’ve just learned, a man wants to conquer you, and he wants to get everything at
once from you… that’s in his nature.

But you can train, and guide a man to feel that it’s actually a better idea, to do this
over time, instead of all at once.

When you do this, you’ll find that your man becomes far more attentive to sticking

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around longer, committing better, and he’ll even become extremely nurturing as he
begins to see that the better he treats the ‘relationship goose’, the better the quality
of the ‘golden love egg’ too.

So how do you do that? There are 2 steps to the Sweet Turmoil Method.

Step #1: Make Him See The Value, by giving him a heavy compliment.

This compliment, in essence acts as the proof that there is in fact a giant golden egg
lying around, and what’s better: he will be able to see that this egg is coming from
you, and is being offered to him.

So what you do here, is you come in with a heavy positive statement, compliment, or
recognition of something that you feel is already golden, or something that COULD be
golden, about your relationship, or your man.

It’s important to note, that whatever you say, has to be believable, and must, once
again, be something that he has actually done, or has earned recognition for. I’ve
already explained why this is important, in the previous section of this program, but
just remember that it needs to be justified.

So you can’t come in with a statement or compliment like this: “Oh wow, my jaw is on
the floor. You are just the most amazingly brilliant man I have ever come across.
Nobody is like you, and how great you are!”

Obviously, that becomes unbelievable to a man, because again:

A) You haven’t justified anywhere in the compliment, WHY this is true.

B) It just sounds like an emotional “jargumble” of desperate feelings, and desperate
attempts to seek approval.

So keep the statements and compliments justifiable. Do this, and you will begin to
start proving to him, that there is a golden egg laying goose in your relationship,
because you are now revealing to him, exactly where those golden eggs are hidden.

Ensuring that your statements are justifiable, ensures that you are in essence giving
him something that he cannot really deny either, or something which he cannot 100%

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disagree with.

It must be something which he can reasonably accept, which is why, if you use
phrases or terms that tie into ultimate desires or wants, that your man has, you will
see even greater success, because now you are tapping into a greater need of
fulfillment that your man has.

So what are some examples, of greater needs or desires that your man has?

Well almost every man, as noted has a desire to be and feel, respected, helpful,
wanted, desirable, useful, understood, or in control etc…

So, if you simply play into those desires and needs, now, by giving him a statement of
value, you ultimately create an undeniable truth, that your man cannot back away
from, or get out of at this point.

He will have no choice but to agree, because he wants that from you, and now you
are recognizing it directly.

So for example, you could tell him something like “We could be wonderful together”,
or, you could say something like “You know, other couples struggle to find the kind of
understanding that we have between each other”.

Some other examples include, but are not limited to:

“We get along really well…” … “We are compatible”… “I feel good around you”…. “I
can’t believe how happy you make me feel”, or “I am still trying to wrap my head
around how understanding you are” etc…

Step #2: You Add In The BUT Factor, combined with a Barrier Condition

In this step, you make him work to get the daily golden love eggs, by reminding him,
that there is a barrier in between. He can get to the egg, but he will never be allowed
to solely have the goose itself. You even go as far as to let him know that he will only
be allowed to have and receive the golden eggs, through you too.

So now he has no choice, but to come back through you, to get them each and every
time, but keep in mind here, that your man will come back, because you’ve already

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justified a reason for him to do that in the first place.

Also remember that at this stage, the “golden egg” is good enough for him. He
doesn’t need direct access to the relationship goose, if he is preoccupied with the idea
of the eggs, and doing whatever it takes to continue receiving them.

So this is where the “Barrier Condition” comes into play.

What is a barrier condition?

The barrier condition, is basically an idea or suggestion which you impose, that cuts
immediately through your man’s ability to try and pull everything out from the
relationship, and your love at once.

It means that after you have given the heavy compliment, you come in and softly
reject him, for that same reality, by contradicting what you just said with a very slight
issue, condition, or boundary which you raise up.

Ultimately, this creates a disconnect, and you do that, by adding in the “but…” reality,
and then by attaching a condition upon which your statement in step #1 will not be
PERMANENTLY true immediately after.

In other words: you give your man a REASON as to why your heavy compliment might
not always be true.

If you recall, earlier I spoke of how men want to conquer all, but once they do, they
basically feel that they are DONE or finished with that thing. This part of the step,
ensures that you remind him that the ball is actually not in his court yet.

He has the golden egg, but he won’t get all of the golden eggs, until he sticks around,
and works for it. Trying to cut the goose open and get it all at once, doesn’t work
either, so you deal him a new reality, one where he learns that there is more that can
be done, to receive more golden eggs from you.

So what you are doing here, is therefore creating a barrier of disconnect. To put it into
simple terms, you give him LIMITED access to yourself, just like you’d have to do with
the goose that lays the golden eggs.

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The man can’t come in and get UNLIMITED access to everything (which translates as
him coming in and trying to take everything at once) just like he cannot go in and get
UNLMITED golden eggs, by cutting open the goose.

Thus, the only way for him to receive, is for your man to understand the barrier, and
secondly, for you to impose it in the first place.

So how do you create the barrier? How do you make him work around the limitations
you are about to set?

You create doubt, introduce a contradiction, or insult him slightly when it comes to his
ability to do or fulfill whatever you said in step #1.

To best illustrate this, I am going to give you some examples of what can be said. For
example:

If, in step 1, you told your man that you’re glad that your relationship is an honest
and open one, you could come in, immediately after, and say the following:

“You know, I am glad that our relationship is an open an honest one, but it might not
work out between us, because sometimes people change.”

What you are doing, in the second half, is introducing doubt, or the idea that you
actually indirectly expect him to be MORE honest with you. You aren’t directly saying
that, but what you’re doing, is you’re saying it like this:

“Look, you’re really good at this thing now, but I need you to be good ALL the time at
this thing”.

You’ll notice that the beginning of this chapter, starts with a quote that reads: “It’s not
enough to be spectacular sometimes, you have to be spectacular every single time.”

The essence of step #2, is exactly the same point that this quote is making. It’s that
you need your man to be spectacular all of the time.

It’s not enough to just be good NOW. You need him to want to work to be great all of
the time. The way to do that, has just been revealed to you, because both steps of
the Sweet Turmoil Method ultimately push your man to want to become more

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spectacular, as he reaches deeper into himself, to try harder for you, do more for you,
and to BE more for you.

Keep in mind that he’s not just doing this for no reason either, because you are in
essence rewarding him each and every time as well, by giving him the idea or the
challenge of what he is working toward.

So you are simply pulling out something good, and are refining it into something
better. Thus your relationship goes from having one golden egg, to having many.

To help you do this, I’d like to offer you a few more examples of the types of
disconnects you could create, once you combine step 1 and 2. So, for example you
could say:

· “I can’t believe we get along with each other so well! But, let’s take things slow for
now.”

· “You’re so honest with me, but I hope that things remain that way.”

· “You treat me really good, but usually people change with time.”

· “I like how you take the time to listen to me, but I know that sometime in the
future you probably won’t care to try.”

· Etc…

As one final statement for step #2, I’d like to clarify something very important. Some
women already unknowingly use this tactic, but they do it indirectly, testing their man
by saying something like this:

“Oh, I know you love me now, but will you still love me when I am fat, old, and ugly?”

It should be noted that THIS is extreme, and again a man responds to extreme, with
extreme. So you must be careful to tone it down, and not to extremely insult the guy
or back him into an emotional corner that he can’t even get out of.

Questions like “am I fat” or “will you still want me, if I was ugly” etc… are exactly the

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kind that you must avoid trying to ask, because they actually do the exact opposite.

Again, the point here, is to offer a heavy compliment, and to slightly counter balance
that reality, so that he doesn’t take you for granted, or so that he doesn’t just assume
that everything will come magically on its own.

Another important factor in this method, is the fact that you need your man to feel
like he should work for it.

No man would ever want to work for something that scares the living crap out of him.
Intense questions or statements like the ones I just described, only scare a guy, and
make him feel like you are living on extreme levels, emotionally.

You want him to know and understand that you are emotionally reasonable, which is
why you must always be careful to tone down your statements in step #2, so that
they do not completely overtake step #1.

They must play off of step #1, but must never overshadow, or completely ruin step
#1. The message of the compliment, and what is going RIGHT, must always still be
able to shine through.

Again, you are only nudging him, or encouraging him to seek more from you. You’re
not trying to make him become the farmer who cuts open the goose, by pushing him
hard.

The reason why this method is actually called the SWEET Turmoil method, is because
of the fact that you at least offer a morsel of sweetness, by letting him know that
something is actually good.

You aren’t just coming in, and bashing him with complete turmoil this way, which
ultimately, when done in the way that the two steps describes, actually encourages a
man to repeat more of the behaviour you love, rather than to do more of the things
you hate.

So always remember, that when using this tactic, to make sure that the sweetness
factor is included, so that your man doesn’t feel like you are simply punishing him.

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So you might be wondering what happens next, after you use this method. Here’s
what will happen…

He will suddenly find himself feeling strong urges to prove himself to you because you
gently rejected him. Again, you basically came in and said “hey I like something you’re
doing, but I am not sure you are good enough to give me more of this in the future”.

This is a kind of rejection therapy, wherein your man now has something new, he
feels that he needs to conquer.

Without using this method, your man would have been sitting comfortably, getting
bored, thinking that he already conquered that area of your relationship, or that thing
which relates back to you.

But by using this kind of soft rejection, you give him the idea that he hasn’t actually
WON everything yet, or that he hasn’t actually conquered it all. You ultimately create
the endless chase, one which your man will gladly oblige you in, because it helps him
to feel fulfilled in doing so.

We all want what we can’t have and that’s the feeling you’re creating in his mind by
using this.

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 Chapter 14: Magnetic Bonding Formula

“Emotional variety is the spice of life”

In the previous section, I spoke about how men can grow bored around you, if they
feel as though they have “conquered all”. It means that they end up feeling as if there
is nothing left to do, say, or even feel that they haven’t already experienced.

Obviously, when worded that way, such a life DOES sound boring. To help illustrate
this to you, I want you to imagine that you have a favorite T.V. show, and you like to
tune into this show, every time a new episode comes out.

I want you to also imagine the thrills, excitement, and passion that peaks up from
within you, as you go through the twists and turns that your favorite T.V. show offers
you emotionally.

Now, what if, one day, all of a sudden, everything on T.V. were to be cancelled, for
everyone, everywhere, except for ONE episode, which happens to be your favorite
episode of that very same T.V. show you love.

This doesn’t sound so bad at first. At first you rejoice. You’re happy. At least it’s
something you like, after all, right?

But after a while, you start to miss the entertainment value, that other T.V. shows had
to offer, and you EVEN start to miss shows that you hated.

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After a while, of realizing that the ONLY thing that will ever play on your T.V. ever
again, is this ONE episode of a show that you’ve now seen 5000 times, you eventually
decide to completely turn off the television, and to start doing other things, only to
never look back at T.V. as a fulfilling thing in your life ever again.

In fact, you are rather disappointed, if anything, about the way that things turned out,
when it came to the television and you.

I want you to now imagine, that this is how a LOT of men feel, when they are in a
relationship.

You see, men get into relationships, expecting that the very same thrills and peaks in
emotions that they experience early on, will be maintained. But then they aren’t.

To make matters worse, over time, the “other” shows start to slowly get cut off, until
finally there is only one repeat show, that is left playing, over and over and over
again.

Now how many times, do you reasonably expect your man to want to ONLY watch
that same show?

How many times could you reasonably expect your man to do that, before finally, he
will say “I’ve had enough of this. This is boring and predictable now”.

Eventually, under those circumstances, there is only so much patience that a man can
have, once the relationship starts to turn into a repeat episode, of the exact same
show over and over again.

Of course, not all of this is your fault, and some of it may be his, because as you get
into a relationship, you begin to get comfortable with the other person, then there
comes a “settling stage”, as you learn how to settle into each other’s habits and lives.

But then, there comes a deadly stage, which I like to call, the SCHEDULING stage.
The scheduling stage is basically a stage, that almost every single person and
relationship ends up stuck in.

It’s the ultimate limbo zone, where basically everything you had worked so hard for,

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goes to die.

Why is that?

The scheduling stage, is all about routine, and repetitiveness. By the time you have
reached, or are inside the scheduling stage, it means that your entire life can literally
be predicted almost 100%... from when you get up, to what you eat, to what you and
your partner do together, and when.

Yeah, it’s pretty bad… but the problem is, is that most people don’t see that, or
recognize it, until it’s too late.

By the time you’ve realized you are in the scheduling stage, you’ve probably argued
your brains off with your man, and he has equally argued to hell and back, with you in
return too.

Why is that?

Well things got so boring, so predictable, and so scheduled… that almost always, you
begin arguing with your partner, to create a little drama, and to spice things up.

The only problem is, that arguing becomes a part of your schedule too, until finally
arguing completely takes over your entire schedule, so that the only thing you and
your partner ever do after that, is fight, until finally one of you cheats, or you simply
just break up.

Of course, this may sound extreme, especially if you are learning this for the first time,
but this truly and honestly is the typical pattern of almost all relationships. Why is this
the most common pattern of all relationships?

It’s because neither partner understands that some variety is needed. Both partners
get so wrapped up in the idea of feeling comfortable, that they forget, it was the
VARIETY that actually made them feel comfortable.

People get sucked into the scheduling reality, simply because of how simple it appears
to make things. Learning how to mesh your life in with a completely different persons’
life can seem, and even feel awkward.

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Scheduling makes it easier to plan and mesh both of your lives in together, so that you
at least somewhat know what you are doing. So, scheduling can be useful, but it
becomes toxic when couples begin to turn EVERYTHING into a scheduled event, from
how you should feel, to how you should fight, to even when you should get intimate,
and how.

Everything becomes this massively, replayed out routine, and it grows old, boring, and
predictable very quickly.

So how do you solve this dilemma? How do you fix this problem?

The answer is simple. You use the Emotional Variety Trick.

The Emotional Variety Trick, is an emotional loop hole opener, wherein you plant a
seed to a new idea, that will give your man something bigger, deeper, and better to
look forward to, think about, or desire from you.

To put it simply: it gives him a window, to become more passionate with you, by
allowing him to experience an emotional variety, that you will give him.

Now, you have most of the basis that you need to understand this trick, which I have
given you at the beginning of this section, wherein I explained how a relationship can
fall into a deadly and dull zone, one which completely lacks passion or any thriving
emotions.

But there’s one little detail which I strategically left out, until now. What detail is that?

The fact that men grow bored at a rate 1000 X faster than that, of a woman.

Why is that?

Well, it all comes back to, again how you perceive and experience your world. As a
woman, you derive a lot of depth from everything around you, by attaching an
emotional experience or feeling to things.

You perceive your day, based on how you felt about it. You perceive your favorite
foods based on how they make you feel when you eat them too. Everything on your
end is an emotional transaction, taking place, wherein deeper needs are often

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satisfied, as long as you involve your emotions.

As you know, men can’t always do that, so they have to look at things more logically.
The problem with being extremely logical, however, is that everything is mostly dry,
and boring after that.

There’s a lot of “surface” interests that take place in this reality as well. To help you
understand, I want to illustrate one very important key, that is predominant in men,
when it comes to attraction and intimacy.

Men are initially visually attracted to women. What does that mean?

It means that a man first feels attracted to you, based on how you look. Now this
doesn’t mean that he’s expecting or demanding a “Barbie doll” kind of a figure… but
rather it just means, that he will physically look at you, to see if parts of your body,
from your hair, to your eyes, to your hands etc… appear to be appealing to him.

It’s never just one specific thing, either that he’s looking for, which is why men can
feel attracted to a variety of women, even if they look different from one another.

But why do men pay attention to the physical, before they pay attention to the
emotional connection?

Well I’ve already mostly explained that, by teaching you about the closed off nature of
a man’s emotional flood gates, and I’d like to remind you now, that the door to a
man’s emotional connective side, can only be opened once he first establishes a level
of trust with you.

You’ve learned a little bit about how to do that in the previous sections, which involved
using something called Logical Attraction, to prove to a man, logically that you can
offer him what he needs, first.

When a man uses physical attraction, initially, it’s only because that’s the only thing he
can go off of, until you prove that you can give him more. It’s not to say that men are
chauvinist pigs, or that they are sexist even.

In fact, it has nothing to do with that. It’s simply all that a man can know, or trust, to
at least START initiating some kind of relationship. So the only thing he can see is

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maybe if you have nice eyes, or if you smell good, or if you are articulate in your
words etc…

He will go off of the seemingly superficial, until you give him more, and furthermore,
until you prove to him, that he should want more from you as well, because men don’t
want to end up stuck investing their time, and emotions in a woman who might be a
waste of their time.

The reason I am telling you this, is because this actually remains to be true, even if a
man is in a relationship with you. He may stay stuck in the superficial level, of logical
attraction, if you never actually help him open up a deeper level.

You could even be married to a man for years, and yet the level at which he addresses
the relationship, and you, is still in the early stages of infancy, rather than a deeper
stage of passionate desire, and ultimate understanding.

What this ultimately means, is that your man will grow bored, and has no choice. Let
me be brutally honest with you here, and fill you in on a little secret…

Men actually begin to hate logical attraction, if they have to be stuck on that level for
the rest of their life.

It means that the superficial no longer temporarily satisfies them. It means that those
beautiful eyes, and the way that you speak etc… no longer “cuts it” for him.
Eventually, he will start to long for more, because there is only so much that the
logical level of attraction can fulfill, and a lot of that fulfillment comes early on.

So the problem is, that as long as a man is stuck in the logical attraction stage with a
woman, wherein he has not yet crossed over into a deeper more connected emotional
level of attraction, it means that it’s not an emotional transaction yet for the guy.

At this stage, it’s mostly logical attraction (which I spoke about in an earlier section)
and direct emotions, for a man, which means everything is mostly black and white, or
hot and cold for him.

This is why emotional variety is important, because it allows you to open up an

emotional window that was either closed, or did not exist, within your man, so that he
can begin to feel, and experience you on a deeper, more passionate level.

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This is a level which will go beyond the surface logic, to dig deeper into his ultimate
desires, but this level can only be activated, if you know how to push the right buttons
in the first place.

As you are now aware, a man can only open up his emotional flood gates to you, if he
feels like you are going to give him a safe place to do that, but more importantly, he
can only do that, if he feels like you are capable of fulfilling his needs to begin with.

The Emotional Variety Trick, actually gives you a way to create trust in your man’s
mind and heart, that you can actually fulfill his emotional needs, which in turn begins
to help him open up his control panel of love, exclusively to you.

So what do you have to do, to use the Emotional Variety Trick to open up your man’s
flood gates of emotional passion and fulfillment?

There are 2 simple things you need to do, which are as follows:

Step #1: Plant a Seed Of Suggestive Potential-

What is a seed of suggestive potential? A suggestive potential, in and of itself, is
something which you raise, or bring up, with your man, that has the power to “be”,
but doesn’t exist just yet.

The power of the suggestion comes into play, in the fact that you are informing him
that it’s something that COULD be, or COULD happen, but you aren’t directly telling
him, that it’s going to be, just yet.

It should be something that gets your man’s creative juices flowing, or something
which makes your man feel or think “huh, that’d be nice”, or “huh, I wonder what
that’d be like”.

The purpose of this seed, is that it will become something that rolls around in your
man’s mind over and over again, and it will be something that continuously creeps
back in his mind, as his curiosity spikes more and more, wondering what that thing is,
or what that thing would be like.

So how do you do that?

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You open a loop, which you only partially explain or fulfill.

So if you are telling him a story, you don’t give him the conclusion just yet. If you are
complimenting him, you only do that half way. If you are telling him about something,
you only give him SOME of the details, but hint that there is more.

Even if you are talking about something that you did today, or something that you
want to do, you are careful to only give away as many details that simply give your
man the IDEA of it, but opens a door, to another idea that you haven’t exactly given
him ALL of it.

Do you see the bigger picture yet?

Basically what you are doing, is you are enticing your man to want to ask more, know
more, and get more from you, because you are basically leaving him hanging, right in
the middle of the most juicy parts.

It doesn’t even matter what you are talking about either. You could be talking about
work, and what happened there, but the minute you suddenly cut off a piece of
strategic information, or if you indicate that there is something important you are
withholding, your man will be stuck in a perpetual place where after that, he will want
to know more.

There are actually 3 ways to accomplish this, which are as follows:

Method A: The Burger Theory Compliment- This basically uses the same format
as a burger, wherein you have the bottom bun, the burger patty in the middle, and
then the top half of the bun on the top. The two sections of the bun, represent what
will become two positive compliments, that will hold the entire thing together. The
“burger patty” in the middle, is actually a negative compliment.

Layering your idea seed as a burger compliment, means that it becomes digestible for
your man, and even ‘tasty’, as sick as that might sound.

So what this ultimately means, is that you come in, offer up a compliment, and then
you counter balance that with a negative statement, only to counter react that once
more with a compliment.
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For example, you might say something like this:

“I really like you as a person, but I don’t know if we would get along, however I kind
of like having you around.”

So you delivered a roundhouse compliment, to your man, but then you threw in your
negative statement, only to hold it all together again, with a compliment that brings
everything back around, just like a burger.

Some more examples of this method, include, but are not limited to, saying things
like:
· “I really love how comfortable you make me feel, however, I am not sure that you
are the right guy for me. But nevertheless, I still like how you can calm me down so
easily.”
· “I am really crazy about the way you kiss me, but sometimes it seems like you’re not
all that into it. Either way, when you do take the time to kiss me passionately, it really
drives me wild.”
· “Sometimes you do this thing, where you open up to me, about something, and I
really like that. But then sometimes you shut me out, and get mean. I am glad that
you’re only mean sometimes, because I really love it when you treat me right.”

Method B: The Outsiders’ Story-This method utilizes the story of somebody or

something which is outside of your relationship. It could be a story of a friend, a
coworker, or even something you’ve read in the news.

You can EVEN make the story up, but the point is that everything you reference to in
the story, will appear to be something that either should NOT happening in your
relationship, or will appear to be something which SHOULD be happening in your
relationship.

What you do, when delivering this story, is you offer a compliment, either hinting at a
behavior that you want more or less of, ultimately, but without directly saying it.

Because you are no longer telling your man what to do directly, this will rattle around
in his brain, as he thinks about what you said, especially when you add in the element

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of prematurely complimenting him on something that hasn’t happened yet.

Again, as I’ve explained in Chapter 12, a premature compliment is something which

you offer up, before your man has actually earned it, in such a way, that it makes your
man work to actually earn it, after that point, because now he knows you expect it
from him.

For example, you could say something like:

“You know, my friend recently told me that her husband cheated on her. She
explained how crushed she feels, and how alone and abandoned this has made her
feel. Now she doesn’t know what to tell her kids either, because she has been crying,
and her kids just keep trying to ask her what’s wrong, but she doesn’t have the heart
to tell them, because she wants them to still love their daddy. Her story really made
me appreciate the fact that you are so loyal and committed to me. I know that you’d
never do something like this to me.”

So to recap, with this example, what you are doing, is basically offering up a scenario
in a story format to your man, of a situation, either negative or positive.

You then tie in your man himself to the story, by prematurely complimenting him for
either doing that thing, or not doing that thing, which further cements in your man’s
mind, the fact that he should be doing more of that.

Now this was a pretty dull example here, so since we are trying to ignite passion, I
want to give you a couple of direct examples, of using the outsider’s story method,
only this time, you are trying to encourage your man to take an action which is
directly passionate, or you are hinting that you’d like him to do something. So for
example, you could tell your man, this:

“Today I saw a young couple kissing, and I laughed to myself, because I just thought,
we share such a more intense passion toward each other. I remember this one time
you kissed me (then explain how), and I just got Goosebumps on my skin. I really
love that about us.”

This would cement the idea, in your man’s mind now, that you really love it when he
does that, but an even deeper seed will be planted, one that tells your man, that he
needs to take things to the next level, because you now just indicated, that this is

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what you really like about him, but you’ve also indicated how he is different than other
guys in that area.

Your man will now work to prove this to be MORE true, because you’ve directly come
in and hinted now, that this is something he should be doing more of.

Here are some other examples, to help you get a better idea, of what you could say:
· “I was reading an article online earlier today, about a couple who were arrested,
because they were fighting over whose turn it was to watch their favorite T.V. show. I
almost burst out laughing, when I read what they were arguing over, and then I
realized that I am so glad that you at least take me out to do things together, and give
me a choice, and sometimes you even enjoy the movies I pick! I’m just so glad that I
have an understanding guy like you.”

Or
· “When I was younger, my mom and dad used to go out for a walk, together once a
month. My mom explained that when they did this, they wouldn’t try to include
anything else in the walk. They wouldn’t get food, or go to see a movie, but they’d
just walk together, beside each other.

She explained that the reason they did this, is because they had stopped spending
time on one another, and were concentrating on everything else. Taking the time to
just walk together, without planning on doing anything else, gave them the time to
actually express what was really going on to one another, without masking it.

Sometimes when you come home from work, and listen to me tell you how my day
was, I feel like we are getting close to having that. I really appreciate it when you do
that for me, it makes me feel like you truly love me.”
Or

· “I got this really dirty text from a wrong number today, out of nowhere. Then the
person goes “oh, wrong number”. I just laughed to myself, at how corny and dry the
message was, because at least when you talk dirty to me, it really makes me go wild,
and it really makes me feel like I am with a passionate man.”

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Or
· “Today on my way to work, I saw a couple arguing by a car, screaming at each other,
and one of them just kept yelling “you’re not listening to me. Listen! Will you just
listen?!” and then I thought, I am so glad that I never have to go through that with
you, because you always take the time to hear me out, even if what I have to say
upsets you.”

Or

· “Recently my girlfriends all started talking about how their men don’t take them out
anymore, and how boring their relationship has become. I told them about how you
used to take me out, and how alive and wild I felt, when you did. I’d really like to
experience that again, and I know that we won’t end up like them, stuck in a dry
relationship.”

· Etc…
Now,there is one component to this method, which I have not explained just yet, but I
will explain it in just a bit, because it’s actually Step #2, to the Emotional Variety trick.
But, before I can reveal to you what that last component is, and explain it, I first have
to show you the last method to Step #1, which you can use.

But for now, understand that with this method, as a part of Step #1, all you are
basically doing is making an example of an outsiders’ situation or story, and then you
are tying that back into your own relationship, by pointing out something about that
original story that you either like about that happening in your own relationship.

This ultimately indicates to your man, that he should step up his game, and should
take action to fulfill your indirect request.

Method C: The Direct Bull’s-eye-

This method goes directly in for the kill, by directly complimenting your man, or by
directly pointing out a positive behavior of his that you either:

A) Want to see more of,

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B) Really enjoy, or
C) Absolutely need him to do again, immediately.

This method is a lot like the method in Chapter 13, in that you offer up a sincere
compliment, only this time, you don’t explain WHY, and you DO NOT justify the
compliment. You simply deliver the compliment, but you ensure that the compliment
itself is actually reasonable or believable.

So for example, you could say something like this:

“I really love it when you hold my hand, in the car.” Or “Sometimes you tell me how
your day was, and I really appreciate it”.

Again, normally you’d be telling him WHY you feel this way, but it’s important for this
method, to actually cut that off, because you are going to add in another element,
from step #2, that actually ties in and finishes off this method, which leads me to my
next point:

Step #2: Don’t Water The Seed You Just Planted, With All Of Your Water At
Once

In this part of the step, you carefully make sure that you only reveal SOME of the
information from step #1, or that you HINT that there is MORE, after you’ve revealed
the information that you needed to.

In all of the methods above, from step #1, what you are doing, is planting an idea.
But you need this idea to grow into a certain level of curiosity from your man’s end,
wherein this idea starts to rattle around in his mind, and it starts to play over and over
again, in his subconscious.

You see, curiosity, in a man’s hands, is the ultimate fire of passion, because it starts
the process of “problem solving” in your man’s mind.

Why does it do that?

It does that, because you’ve now presented a potential problem that now needs a
solution… even though you haven’t exactly said that something is completely wrong,
you’ve still suggested that something can be better.
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So now your man will work to figure out how, because you’ve initiated a subconscious
level of interest. So for now you’ve created the loop, but now it’s time to completely
rip that loop open.

You now want to create an open loop, by twisting through everything you just said,
and cutting it short. You must do this, because if you truly want him to get to work
immediately, you have to create a disconnect within everything you just said.

This disconnect, will ultimately tell him that there is something MORE, or that there is
something else within everything you just said that he ALSO needs to know.

This is about, creating one final thing, which you say, that makes your man feel as if
you haven’t given him everything, and which also makes him want to dig to get
everything.

So how do you do that? You add in a “But Factor”, just like you did, with the Sweet
Turmoil Method from the previous chapter.

Again, a “But Factor” is simply a further condition you impose, indirectly or directly,
that indicates to your man, that he must now either do more, or do less of whatever
you are hinting at.

Only, when it comes to this particular method, you are going to use the “But Factor” to
actually WITHOLD that information, instead of actually giving it to your man. You are
literally going to use it, to stop him dead in his tracks, from getting the whole story
from you.

The best way for you to see what I mean, is once again for me to illustrate it. So let’s
say, that you’ve used method C, from step #1, and you’ve delivered a Direct Bull’s-eye
compliment. Here’s what that compliment, combined with step #2, will look like, in
action, once you say it to him:

“I’ve noticed something good about you, but something strange as well.”

What you will do now, is you will actually GIVE him that good thing, but you will out-
rightly refuse to actually tell him what that “strange” thing is. Thus, you are creating a
barrier, to withhold the rest from him, and this is what I mean, when I say not to

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water that seed right away.

You reserve some of that water for later, and you do that, by withholding a piece of
information, preferably a negative piece of information, from him, and by instead
giving him the compliment.

You’ll notice that when you do this, your man will be driven almost mad, as he tries to
figure out what it is that you are withholding, and he will even begin pressuring you to
reveal it, but the key is, to withhold revealing it, until later.

You can ONLY release him, once he’s worked to try and get the answer, and once he
has begun making progress in the first place. This is especially true, if you are trying
to spike his curiosity, so that he will take action, toward something.

So for example, if you have just begun dating a guy, and you are in the early stages,
you might want to help raise that guys’ interest in you further, by saying something
like this:
“There are 3 things that I judge a guy on, early on. The third thing I’ll tell you later on
when I get to know you.”

So you give him the first 2 things, make them positive sounding, and leave the third
thing for later. It doesn’t matter how hard the guy pushes to learn the 3 rd thing, you
simply don’t water that seed, until later.

Answering a part of something, but leaving the other part of that something
unfinished and unanswered, causes the idea to circulate in your man’s mind constantly
after that point, as he waits for relief from you.

The best part about this is, that until or unless you actually give in and tell him, he will
keep coming back with an even more intense level of curiosity, until you finally tell him
what that other thing is.

I mentioned in Method B, from step #1, that there was an aspect of that method,
which I would detail further in Step #2, so I’d like to come back to that now. You’ll
notice that in a lot of the sample stories given, from that method, that at the end of
each story, a condition is imposed.

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What condition is that?

The expectation that your man either will or will not do the same thing, or will do
BETTER than everything you just exemplified in your story.

This is a part of step 2, wherein you give your man a HINT of something, by using the
outsiders’ story, but where you don’t directly give him the answer to that, except to
say that you are happy he does or does not do that thing.

All you are simply doing, is adding in a “But Factor”, on top of the story, wherein you
say something like: “But I know that you wouldn’t do that to me”, or “But I know you
wouldn’t disappoint me like that” or “But I know that you love me, so I look forward to
the times that we do those things.” Etc…

It basically implants the idea that, again, your man should be doing whatever it is that
you are hinting at, whether that’s taking you out dancing, becoming more loyal, being
more open, or communicating better… etc.

It doesn’t really matter what it is that you are hinting at, it just matters how you
deliver it, so that it has the chance to grow as an idea of something that your man
must do more of, and must look into.

The reason why method B works so well, from step 1, using the outsiders story, is
because it cements the idea that this isn’t just you demanding or asking for it
anymore, but this is you telling your man that something is happening, and he is a
part of a bigger picture.

It’s planting the seed to allow him to step up to the plate and make something of
himself because of that, which then gives your man a new, more empowering
challenge.

At the beginning of step #2, I mentioned that you must carefully reveal SOME of the
information from step #1, or that you HINT that there is MORE, after you’ve revealed
the information that you needed to.

I’d like to walk through how that works for each method listed in step #1.

If you are using Method A, the Burger Theory Method, all you do, is simply

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withhold the details about the negative statement you sandwiched between the two
compliments. You simply don’t EXPLAIN why you feel that way, and you post pone
even discussing it until a later date.

You can post pone that, by either:

A) Placing an expectation on him- such as telling him that you can only do that,
once you know that you can trust him more. Or saying that you can only reveal it
when he’s proven that he can handle you etc…

OR

B) Giving him an exact time, at which you will reveal it- such as telling him- “I
will tell you later tonight”. Or, “I can’t tell you till tomorrow”. Or, “I will show you what
I am talking about in 3 days”.

If you use this method, your man might ask you why, because again, he’s trying to
pressure you into giving up the details and the goodies here, to which you basically
must only give a somewhat reasonable answer, but still stick to your guns, and
withhold the information.

After the expectation has been fulfilled from option A, or the timeframe has passed,
from option B, you can reveal to him what that thing was, and explain it.

It’s important to not completely leave him hanging, because then he will start to feel
like you are playing mind games, and he will learn pretty quickly that you are only
doing this to entice a response.

It’s better to allow him to reap the rewards of his efforts, even when the only thing
you are revealing is something negative, which is the case in Method A… remember
that your man STILL wants to know that, and at this stage finds it HELPFUL.

So you can literally be negative, and your man at this stage, would enjoy it, and would
find it helpful, simply because of how you delivered it, and made him curious about it
in the first place.

He wouldn’t have normally cared otherwise, if you never made him curious, but now,
he’s invested in it, and interested, and now it’s useful to him, because of that fact,

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even if it’s a negative reality.

You’ll find that once you deliver the negative tidbit, that your man will actually work to
rectify that situation, because now, again, you’ve made him interested in wanting to
do that.

It’s important to remember as well, that when you deliver the negative piece of
information, that it’s a good idea to counter balance that as well, by reminding him
that there are good things you like too, so it doesn’t turn into a huge “bash your man”
session.

If you are using Method B, “The Outsiders Story”, from step #1, then you
apply Step #2, by adding the “but factor” condition that I spoke of earlier. You simply
add on an additional expectation, that you make clear is automatically expected from
your man, from that point forward.

Doing this raises his curiosity, and can help peak his passion, because now you have
given him a purpose, indirectly, but without demanding it or nagging him to do it.

Now you have actually given him a reason as to why he should do it too, because
you’ve directly given an example with your outsiders’ story, as to why that would be a
good or bad thing, if he did; but you’ve also boosted his EGO, in the process, by
making him out to be the ultimate hero.

Doing this pushes your man to want to do more of the behavior you like, but also
opens up his emotional floodgates for you, because you directly gave him an example
of what that can do for him, if he were to do it. Thus the motivation to seek more of
that, and to find comfort through you in that, is at an all-time high.

If you are using Method C, the Direct Bulls-Eye, from Step #1, then you might
recall that I specifically told you to actually give NO reason or justification for your
compliment when using this method.

The reason for that is, because with Step #2, you actually come in, and counter that
compliment with something negative, or with a time barrier. This entices your man to
want to work for an answer to BOTH realities, but more importantly, it doesn’t
immediately answer everything for him, which in turn spikes his curiosity.

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To help illustrate this for you, I’ve prepared a few examples of what you can say,
paired with Step #2, which either counter balances the compliment, or it removes
your man’s ability to get an immediate explanation to that compliment.

Here are some examples, of what you could say, when pairing both steps together:
· “I’ve noticed 3 wonderful qualities in you, but just one bad trait.”
· “Sometimes when you reveal your secrets to me, I feel really good, but .... never
mind, I’ll tell you more about that some other day.”

· “There are things I’d like to discuss with you, but we can only do that once we know
each other on a different level.”

Now, as you can see from some of these examples, you basically offer up the
compliment, but leave your man hanging halfway in the middle of that, by taking
away a part of it, with a “but factor” reality, either by telling him that you can’t reveal
it all till later, or by counteracting it with a negative statement.

It’s important for you to note and understand that you must partake in step #2, in
order for the Emotional Variety Trick to work, because until or unless you take away
the piece of the puzzle for your man, either by making him wait, or by suggesting
there is something else he doesn’t know… you are not effectively creating that
curiosity spike within him.

It’s important to stick to your guns, even if your man starts attempting to beg, argue,
or coerce you into revealing it. Remember that the only reason he is doing that in the
first place, is because his curiosity is spiking, but you must ONLY give in, once his
behavior is more in tune with what you want.

It’s bad to give in, when he is misbehaving, or when he is not doing what you actually
asked for or intended, because it means you are rewarding him for all the wrong
things.

So just be careful when using this tactic to hold your ground, if your man does react,
and to remember that after a while he will give in, and will get the hints you are
dropping. Again, allow him to do his job and problem solve.

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Don’t overshadow that, by stepping on his toes early, and giving in.

Chapter 15: Classy Naughty Technique

“…If you truly want to be happy, get out of your own way!” ~ Michael Nitti

Have you ever eaten something, which looked so gloriously delicious, and was put
together so beautifully, that mentally, you built up this idea of what you imagined it
would taste like?

I am talking about the kind of food, which when you see it, you almost have a mental
orgasm, because of how good it looks. I mean, this food, is on a whole other level.

Now, when you saw something like that, did that very same idea of how great that
food looked, equate to a feeling that this very same thing, would taste, well, so
frigging awesome?

It probably did seem like it would taste awesome, didn’t it?

On the same token, when you went to take a bite of this absolutely, and exquisitely
delicious looking thing, did you expect that very same thing to taste like crap?

Probably not right?

But it did.

What’s worse, is that now you are BEYOND disappointed, because you were more
than looking forward to the tasting experience you were about to have.

However, your delicious looking food, seemed to have other plans, as now it has

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become the ultimate disappointing reality for you.

It’s hard for you, after that, to even finish the food, too, because you built up this
image in your mind, that it was going to taste awesome, but now you are chewing on
something that you’d rather just throw away.

Now, would you ever want to go back and eat that food again, when you know that
even though it looks delicious, taste-wise it’s just absolutely disappointing?

Probably not.

On the same token, however, have you ever eaten something which looked absolutely
disgusting, and well, honestly could appear to almost look like vomit on your plate,
but it was ABSOLUTELY delicious?

Ever had that experience?

What were your thoughts, when you had that experience?

They were probably pretty interesting thoughts weren’t they? Like ‘hey, initially I was
worried about this tasting good, but now… well wow… now I want more.’

You’d probably end up eating all of it up, and you’d probably end up feeling like this
was one of the best meals you had, regardless of how it looks now.

But why is that?

Well, you see, it’s all about how you feel, when you are eating that thing. Now you
may not realize it, but a lot of the things you experience, you actually experience
throughout a wide array of emotions that all combine together, to give you, a final
experience.

That’s what makes the experience, either highly satisfying, mediocre, or really
disappointing. It’s those “feelings” that get involved.

So when you eat something, or drink something, you come in with a secret plethora of
emotional expectations.

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You want that thing to satisfy you on a level BEYOND simply the taste alone. A good
example of this, is pop/cola.

It’s not really something that humans need to drink, yet we do. Why?

Well, it is fizzy. So you get this interesting rush of sensation in your mouth and throat
when you first drink it.

It’s sweet, and most likely cold, so now you start to feel refreshed, but the flavour also
grabs you and makes you feel a rush.

So you went from simply drinking something, to now feeling a cold rush, and if you
were really thirsty, you might now feel relaxed and regenerated.

You’ll also notice that a lot of drinks have very vivid colors. Almost every drink doesn’t
have to, but a lot of them do. Why is that?

Again, it’s designed to appeal to your senses. Your eyes, and what you see are a part
of that experience, just as in the previous example where I described seeing
something that looked delicious, but didn’t taste so good.

The point here, that I am trying to make however, is simple: when you put everything
together, into one final mixture, you end up with a wide variety of feelings and senses
being satisfied, no matter what it is that you are doing.

In the previous section, I spoke about how you can use the Emotional Variety Trick to
spike a level of curiosity from within your man, which ultimately appeals to a wide
variety of a man’s emotional needs, because it changes up the way in which he
experiences you, and the relationship.

The same kind of a thing has to happen, when you get intimate with a man, and
when you are dealing with intimacy in general. You have to be able to appeal to as
many senses and emotions as possible, within your man, if you want to be able to
reach him on a level of ultimate intimate sex appeal.

Now I am using food as an example here, because it’s a common experience which
every single one of us is familiar with. We want the food to look, and taste good…. but
we would never want that food if it only looked good, but didn’t taste good once we

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were actually having it.

I will explain that in just a bit, but understand that all of us are designed to want to
get the maximum emotional and intimate experience from everything we participate
in, from watching movies, to eating, to even driving.

Did you know, for example, that there are people who actually engineer and DESIGN a
very specific engine sound, and even door “clunk”, so that when you get in your car,
you FEEL the best that you possibly can, from the minute you open and close your
door, to the moment you start your engine?

This kind of attention to detail goes on all the time, around every aspect of everything
you could possibly invest in. There are people behind that thing, designing it, so that it
can appeal to as many senses as possible, so that at the end of the day, you get the
best experience from it. So this includes, how something tastes, smells, sounds, feels,
looks, moves, and beyond.

Scientists and engineers, therefore, have learned that humans want to be appealed to,
when it comes to their senses, on a deeper scale- even if they are not consciously
aware of it, they want to come in and get an immediately good experience, is basically
what this means.

The same is true for men, and even for you.

When you experience something, you want it to be amazing, and to give you a good
feeling. This is especially true, the more intimate you get, especially with a man, and
likewise the more intimate a man gets with you.

He wants to be able to be reached on a deeper level of emotions and senses. It’s not
even that a man WANTS that either, he actually NEEDS it. More importantly, if you
want a man to settle for you, and settle with you, you MUST bring this element to the
table.

A man would never settle for, or be happy with a woman who could not do this,
because he’d always be left with the feeling that he could have more, and should want
more.

Just like with the fancy food, that looked good, but tasted like crap…men hate being

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stuck in that situation. They hate being in a situation where at first glance, a woman
looks good, but once he actually “tries her out”, she is rather disappointing.

In this section, I am going to actually show you exactly how to use the art of dramatic
sex appeal, to appeal to a wide variety of your man’s intimate emotional needs and
senses, so that your love life becomes extremely fulfilling, for both your man, and you.

This will form a very powerful grip, which you can use to penetrate deep into your
man’s ultimate emotional and sexual needs, to such a depth, that your man will feel
an intensely passionate level of desire and lust for you, afterward.

To start things off, I’d like to explain what Dramatic Sex Appeal means. Dramatic Sex
Appeal is a level through which you can appeal to your man, that goes beyond simply
how you look. You see, a man really only gives a 10-20% level of importance to how
you look, when it comes to sex and intimacy.

Just as in the example with the food, the “looks” only go so far. It only makes up a
part of the real experience, and the looks are only an INITIAL expectation, because as
you know, something could look awful, but if it TASTES absolutely delicious and “to
die for”, then you’ll completely throw away any previously conceived notions about
how it looks.

The same is true for a man. How you look physically, only helps to temporarily aid a
man, in tailoring his expectations, for the short term. By the time he’s gotten you into
bed, or is about to get intimate with you, however, that’s where the looks are either
made, or broken, because now he wants a delivery that can match or EXCEED the
expectations he has mentally set.

So if you are smoking hot, he will want you to be able to match that idea, in the
bedroom, intimately with him. If you are ok looking, or are below average, then he
won’t expect much, which is why it would completely BLOW HIS MIND away, if you
were to exceed those expectations.

Now I know a lot of women may think that men are strictly visual, but that only makes
up a small percentage of how a man perceives a woman sexually, especially the longer
he is around that woman.

In the previous sections, I spoke a bit about logical attraction, and how a man must

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use this level of attraction, initially, because he hasn’t yet opened up his emotions to a
woman.

During the logical attraction stages, a man’s concentration on how you look and sound
is definitely elevated, to a level beyond the 50-60% range, but did you know that
there is one more factor, that can completely turn a guy OFF, or ON, instantaneously?

What is that factor?

It’s how you act, behave, and conduct yourself. You see, that’s what makes you
unique, interesting, fascinating and so much more.

Why is that?

Well again, it’s more about how you can appeal to most, if not all of a man’s senses.
Looks only appeal to the visual sense, and some part of a man’s sexual desire.

But if you were to get inside a man’s head, when it comes to physical appearance and
sexuality, you’d see that a man actually mentally applies your physical sex appeal, to a
bunch of other senses. Thus, the only reason you are visually appealing now, is
because of a deeper idea, that you can come in and SATISFY other senses, and other
urges.

A man, uses that as a tool to help him gauge what to expect, but more importantly, he
uses a woman’s looks initially as a tool to help him move on to the fulfillment of his
other desires, senses, and emotions.

This is why looks are NOT everything, and in fact, they are only temporary.

Now I know that the media, and even the men of our modern society, sometimes
place a heavy and great level of emphasis on a woman’s physical looks. But I don’t
want you to be fooled with those false images, of what a man actually wants.

You’ll find that many men, when actually directly asked, will start to admit that they
don’t care about a lot of the things that you might feel they do, when it comes to your
looks.

Again, why is that?

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It’s because men actually need something more, and this especially becomes truer, the
more a man matures.

But, to help you understand something here, I want you to know a very disturbing
fact about men. This is a fact that may offend you, but I am only telling you this, to
help you learn something deeper about men.

What is that fact?

Men stare at women all the time, and gauge their sex appeal, all the time
too.

This is only a fleeting thought, however, because what you need to realize about this
reality is the fact that although a man may do that, he only ever RARELY actually acts
on those thoughts.

Think about it this way… you see food all the time. You see advertisements on T.V.;
you see it as you walk past restaurants, fast food chains, and grocery stores.

But you don’t end up eating it all, or buying it all… do you?

Why is that?

Well… not everything appeals to you. SURE, you might think about eating it, and sure
you might want to, but something inside of you, will always be there, saying “no”.

That “something” inside of you, that says “no”, is the part of you that knows right
away that this thing will not appeal to your senses, and it also knows that you could
never eat everything, even if you wanted to, and it knows that trying to do that is a
bad experience.

Your stomach would hurt, you’d get sick etc….

You know that, so what you do, from this point forward, is you CONSIDER, everything,
but NOW you only look for the thing that will give you the best quality outcome. Now
you are searching for the kind of food that will taste good, and will make you feel the
best.

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So it doesn’t matter anymore, if you browse past all kinds of foods, because now you
already know what you want, and you aren’t planning on getting anything else but
that.

The same thing happens in a man’s subconscious. He sees all kinds of women, and
most of the time he isn’t doing it on purpose, but some of the time he is. Should he
become aware of a woman, who slightly appears to be appealing, the next thought
that comes into his mind is one simple thought:

Will this appeal to me on a deeper level?

Almost always, that answer is no.

So this is why you don’t find guys sleeping with every single woman they think about,
or see, just like you don’t eat everything you see either.

This is why every single man isn’t trying to be with every single woman. It simply
doesn’t work like that, even if men are visual creatures, they have a deeper set of
rules and guidelines which steer them to only accept or go for things that appear to
be able to fulfill their deeper desires.

I want you to trust, that men actually have a deeper level of self-control, guided by
their own deeper desires, which means that they only place a small emphasis on how
you look, ultimately.

So what does this all mean, then, when we get down to the art of Dramatic Sex
Appeal?

It means that the art of Dramatic Sex Appeal, is about appealing to his senses beyond
the level of simply how you look.

I’d like to come back now, to the example I gave earlier, of the food that looked
amazing, but tasted like crap.

I want you to imagine now, that this amazing looking food, is a gorgeously hot
woman.

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Any man who would see this, would initially have to at least hope, that this woman
would be satisfying, but a very strange thing would happen, if that man were to take
that woman home.

What do you think that thing is?

Well, he’d find out that she looked good, but didn’t taste good. It was, therefore, a
deceitful image, because it lacked any substance, or actual flavour.

Do you think he’d want more of that woman, after realizing this?

The answer is an astounding no. After that, a woman could look as good as she
wanted to, but the man would never go back for more, once he realizes that this
woman ‘tastes gross’, metaphorically speaking.

That taste, that I am talking about here, by the way, is all in the personality, and
emotional appeal. The personality, is the actual flavoring.

Again, it’s not all about the looks anymore. After a while, the whole “appeal” of the
woman’s body, and a woman’s looks starts to grow old, because it isn’t the “whole”
experience.

If you are hungry, you aren’t going to stare at that burger. You are going to devour it.
Placing emphasis on your looks, is basically like expecting a man to come in and only
want to stare at the burger, but not want to eat it. Thus there has to be something
more, and a man starts to long for a deeper connection.

Why is that?

Sex appeal, means that there is something about you, that makes a man want to be
as close to you as possible. It ultimately means, that there is something so enticingly
attractive about you, that a man wants to bond with you.

If you are all looks, but have no flavour, a man will not want to touch you with a 10
foot pole… basically. He will not want to devour your greatness, because you actually
taste bad to him.

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Sex and intimacy, therefore, are about more than simply how a woman looks. It
becomes now, about how you can make a man feel, and more about how you can
appeal to his senses, to give him the ultimate experience.

What this section is therefore going to teach you, is exactly how you can do that.
You’ll notice that this particular section is called the art of DRAMATIC sex appeal, and
it is named aptly so, because if you want to appeal to a man on a deeper level, you
have to start involving and dramatizing a man’s emotions, to appeal to them.

There are 3 steps that you need to follow and apply, therefore to accomplish this.

Step #1: Assume Attraction-

A lot of women carry their insecurities on their sleeves, but this is a huge no-no when
it comes to sexual appeal and intimacy.

If you were to be the hottest woman on the planet… how would you act and react
around this guy? Would you stand there, telling him how you think you are fat, or how
you are uncomfortable with the lights being on during intimacy?

Would you constantly question him, to ensure that he is in fact attracted to you?

Probably not, yet what you don’t realize, is that by the time a guy is showing sexual
interest in you, it means that he physically finds you hot enough, or good enough. It
means that physically you already appeal to him.

It’s basically like shooting yourself in the foot, to come back and question that at all,
and to constantly push your insecurities about your image, body, and sexuality on to a
man, after he’s clearly shown that he is in fact interested.

This is why, the first step to having dramatic sex appeal, is to actually ASSUME that
this man is attracted to you, even if you are in the early stages of the relationship. It
means that even if you have doubts, and even if you haven’t 100% secured this man,
that you STILL act secured in YOURSELF.

It’s basically about stepping back, and removing the control of your own insecurities
over the situation, to allow this man to treat you as you actually want. It’s stepping
out of your OWN way. You’ll notice that at the beginning of this section, there is a

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quote about how you need to actually step out of your own way, if you want to see
happiness.

A lot of women are holding the door shut, to intimacy, because they are projecting
heavy doubts and insecurities toward their man. It means that you quite literally are
the only thing standing in the way of your own happiness here, and that’s why it’s
important to learn to project the RIGHT things toward your man. To help give you
some perspective I want to let you in on a little secret.

It’s actually rude to do anything BUT assume that a guy is attracted to you.

Why is that?

Well it’s basically like saying “hey, even I am unsure of your choice in me. I am kind of
ugly, why did you even pick me? Eww, gross, why are you even attracted to me?! How
revolting!”

It’s basically directing the guy to NOT be attracted to you, to not enjoy you intimately,
and to basically give up altogether, when it comes to feeling attracted toward you.

You are ultimately, and unfortunately indicating to a man that you believe that he
shouldn’t:

A) Find you attractive,

B) Want to be intimate with you, and
C) Waste any more time on you after this, because you are clearly telling him that he
should doubt his own decision.

Because of that fact, it’s extremely important to assume that a man is attracted to
you, and to deal with your insecurities and doubts more privately. It’s your man’s job
to prove to you, that he wants you, by taking action.

It’s not his job to confirm to you every step of the way, with WORDS alone, that he is
into you. Encouraging a guy to validate your needs, verbally, means that he ends up
becoming a guy who is a lot of “talk”, but not a lot of game.

Such encouragement is exactly what leads to one night stands, where a guy doesn’t
want to see you after, because you basically are signaling to him, that you actually

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didn’t need a commitment of further action.

Worse, is the fact that a lot of women become extremely insecure after sex as well,
and the same problem occurs. It tells a man that he shouldn’t stay with you, and that
you don’t want him around in the future, because you are creating an intense level of
doubt.

Now there is another section in this program, where I talk about that. You will find
that information, in Chapter18, but it’s important to note that all of your doubts and
insecurities are almost always heavily unjustified, and should only ever be
acknowledged, but never considered or acted upon.

It’s natural to have a sea of doubts when you are around a man, because you are
trying to almost read his mind, and figure out if everything is going fine. But you have
to give your attention and time, to a more important reality, one that goes beyond a
temporary doubt or insecurity.

You will find in fact, that your insecurities and doubts start to be resolved, once you
step back from them, and begin giving attention and time to actually ASSUMING that
this man has made the right choice in you, and by furthermore, ACKNOWLEDGING
that, and recognizing it.

Now this isn’t about becoming somebody else or pretending to be somebody you are
not either. It’s actually about allowing your man to recognize you, and to treat you as
the sexy kind of woman that he already sees you as, in the first place.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t tell your man about your feelings either, but it just
means that you have to work on projecting a level of confidence in his choice to be
with you, that translates over into the bedroom as well.

Remember that there is a time and place for every emotion, but insecurities should
only ever be mentioned and brought up, when you are clearly outside of the bedroom,
or when you are not in an intimate moment. That’s when it’s appropriate to bring up
something serious like that.

But when you are actually at a stage of being intimate with your man, the only thing
you can bring out, and the only thing you SHOULD project, is an intense level of
confidence in yourself, and moreover in his choice to choose you, in the first place.

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So how do you act as if he is already attracted to you? There are 4 stages that you
must follow, to immediately assume attraction.

Stage 1: Remove the “Failure To” Factor- The “Failure To” factor, refers to all of
the things that you FAIL to do, or simply struggle to do.

It includes, but is not limited to:

· Failure to keep eye contact/ remain engaged with your eyes when a man is speaking
to you, which in turn tells him that you either:

A) Are not interested (again, insulting)

B) Are extremely shy, (too high maintenance, and too hard to get to know now) or
C) Are extremely insecure, which is a turn off.

· Failure to accept compliments or praise from your man, for something that he
enjoys, sees value in, or likes about you. Even if you don’t agree with it, that doesn’t
matter, because your MAN agreed with it, and it really spoke to him, so refusal to
accept it is like outright rejecting your man.

· Failure to have fun, because you either turn too many things down, are too scared,
or can’t seem to allow yourself to get wrapped up in the moment because you are
concentrating more on how nervous you are, than what is actually happening FOR you
in that very moment. It’s a buzz kill to your man.

· Failure to approach. Your man likes to lead, but he doesn’t want to end up feeling
like he is doing all the work, because you are constantly emotionally shutting down, or
are closing off opportunities due to insecurities or doubts.

· Failure to be fluent in your conversations. A confident person is comfortable

speaking, to others, and about themselves. They don’t worry too much about what
the other person might think, and they can even come up with things to talk about
and say, even if they have the most boring life. Why is that? Well, confident people
are already secure in themselves, so they don’t need nor do they seek intense
approval or validation from their men, or even other people.

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· Etc…

So you must remove the “failure to” factor. Whenever you feel the pull to suddenly
STOP and NOT do something, that normally you should be doing, what you have to
do, is acknowledge that fear, or that pull, but you must never actually LISTEN to it.

It’s only there because you are anxious, therefore, listening to it, means you are
feeding your anxiety. It means that you are not giving your man a good feeling around
you, because you are sending him mixed and even negative signals about whether or
not you even want him, and want to be there with him.

Stage 2: Recognize And Acknowledge Your Greatness- now this doesn’t mean
that you have to walk around with the most inflated ego that the world has ever seen.
No. This means that if you are good at listening, you acknowledge, embrace and
accept that. If you are awesome, you welcome that, and project that as well.

You have to recognize and find within you, the potential that you actually have, to be
the best person that you can be. Part of doing that, comes with realizing that you are
NOT your problems.

A lot of women peg their problems as a definition of who they are. Your problems are
simply what happens to you. If you had a bad day, it doesn’t mean you are a bad
person. If you’ve dated some jerks, it just means that you’ve hung around the wrong
guys, but it doesn’t mean that YOU are the wrong person, or the worst person.

To help you quickly learn how to do this part of the stage, I’d like to talk about
something called the Bad Smell Factor.

You must eliminate The Bad Smell Factor, from your end, if you want your
man to feel an intense level of passion and love for you, intimately.
One of the main themes which has been appearing frequently, so far throughout this
program, is one of setting yourself up so that your man feels, and experiences an
ultimately attractive, addictive, and good vibe around you.

There is a vibe called the Bad Smell Factor, which actually determines the quality of

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man you end up experiencing in your relationship, which means, that your man will
either be good to you, or bad to you based on this. Likewise, this very same vibe, will
even affect the kind of men that you attract in the first place. This ultimately, also
affects your intimate love life.

You see, whenever we meet somebody, we always get a certain feeling of who this
person is. This feeling is what we call the first impression.

Sometimes our first impressions are wrong, but sometimes they are correct.
The Bad Smell Factor basically affects every aspect of a man’s impression of you, from
the first, to the second, to the more permanent impressions, but this is especially true
for ‘intimate impressions’.

Your job, therefore is to first of all, leave your man with the best possible first
impression that you possibly can, and secondly, if you cannot do that, you must help
him get past the first impression if it is bad.

Secondly, your job is to help any future impressions of you, that your man will have,
to be of high esteem, so that you can know for certain that your man feels good about
you, feels good around you, and feels good WITH you.

This is where the Bad Smell Factor comes into play, now, because there is an element
that every single woman brings to the table, unknowingly, and almost unconsciously,
but it can be the difference between a man who can’t stand you, and a man who can’t
stand to be without you!

So what is the Bad Smell Factor?

The Bad Smell Factor is a MENTAL feeling or vibe that your man gets when he is
around you that ultimately repulses him, just like a bad smell. Ultimately, the Bad
Smell Factor, is something that you project towards men, that makes it hard for them
to want to be around you, and makes it hard for a man to be attracted to you
intimately. Ultimately, it stops a man from wanting to give you more, because there is
one specific thing that you are saying and doing, that really throws them through a
loop.

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What is that thing?

It’s when you BECOME your problems, and become incapable of stepping outside of
them. A lot of women are guilty of this, and the reality, is that any time you do this,
you let off a “bad smell factor”, that starts to tell your man the following:
· That you are going to be difficult to handle, not only in the short term, but the long
term.
· That you are extremely dramatic in an unnecessary way.
· That you are really negative and thus are not even fun to be around, and are too
serious.
· That you are extremely needy, and potentially desperate in a detrimental way.
· That you don’t know how to handle yourself and take things to the extremes.
· That you want others to fix everything for you.
· That you don’t even know how to handle a challenge or problem in your life.
· Etc…

The list actually goes on and on, honestly, because there are so many things this
reality affects, that many women don’t realize.

So what does it mean, when I say that many women ‘become’ their problems? Well, it
means that when something is going wrong, or when you are facing a challenge, that
you basically start to turn that entire problem into your life, from the inside out.

It means that you start to complain about how this problem defines you, how it affects
your moods, how it affects your ability to function, and you keep going until finally you
feel like this problem quite literally is, and embodies who you are.

It basically means that you take all of your problems so personally, that you become
them, instead of separating the problem from who you are as an individual.

It basically means, that if for example, somebody called you ugly, that you take it so
personally, that now you start to ask and say things like “I must be ugly”, or “Am I

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ugly?”, or “I am so ugly”.

Again, any of the above responses to an instance of somebody calling you ugly, means
that you are trying to define yourself by the problem. It means that you are not
separating who you are, from what is happening to you.

A lot of women don’t realize that the problem is what happens to you. But it is not
who you are. You are not your problems. They are just what happens to you.

But a lot of women, ESPECIALLY around men, and in relationships, and especially
during intimate moments, take all of the challenges and problems so personally, that
they no longer understand or accept the fact that these problems are not actually
supposed to define them.

An example, is if a guy doesn’t call you back right away. Most women come in, with
this heavy assumption that it must be something they did, said, or didn’t do. Again,
blaming themselves and taking it WAY too personally. Now suddenly, it’s not just
something that is happening that you don’t like, but now it’s starting to define who
you are as a person, as you question your value, worth, and everything else just
because a guy didn’t call you back right away, one time.

Do you see now, how detrimental this can be?

Meanwhile on the other end, your man may have been busy, maybe he was doing
something, or maybe he just wanted some space, because he was dealing with
something outside of you. Yet you were sitting there for possibly hours on end feeling
miserable from this one thing, because why?

Well again, because you took it so personally, that you became the problem.

This is what the Bad Smell Factor reality really is. It’s this condition that you create,
any time you are around a man, where you basically turn anything that is happening
that is difficult, challenging, or hard, into an assumption that it must be a reflection on
who you are as an individual.

Doing this means that you ultimately tell your man that you cannot handle him, and

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that you cannot even handle yourself either. It leaves an EXTREMELY bad taste in any
guys’ mind, when it comes to his impression of you, and is one of the deadliest things
that women bring into a relationship, from when they first meet a man, to when they
are in a long term relationship.

This is one of the main causes of men suddenly cutting off contact or communication,
or men who suddenly withdraw. Why do men do that?

Well you basically made it impossible for him to help you or be there, so he finally just
gives up.

How did you make it impossible? Again, you turned everything into this intense inferno
of self-depreciation and took everything far too personally, which meant that the
problem cannot actually be solved.

A man cannot resolve all of your insecurities and doubts. He simply cannot.

Now this doesn’t mean that he won’t try to do that for you, because almost every
single man out there, will do this, because his provider and protector roles will be
activated. But it won’t take him long to realize that he’s fighting an impossible battle,
as you explode every problem internally each and every time by turning your entire
life into that problem.

This means that when you are around a man, especially INTIMATELY, that it’s not OK
to actually constantly talk about a problem, over and over and over, never solving it.
This kind of behavior means that you are in fact, turning a problem into your life.

It means that men have no choice but to see you as this ultimate negative nagger,
who constantly complains, and who is a downer, and who twists everything around
into something that it wasn’t. This is not attractive, but worse…

It makes men feel like they have to be walking on egg shells just to be around you,
and makes them weary of being honest, open, or fearful of even giving you critical
feedback that you need.

I want you to imagine that your man needs to tell you that something you are doing is
really upsetting him. I want you to also imagine that your man is AFRAID of telling

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you this, so he keeps it to himself.

Over time, you continue to do that thing, that upsets him, and slowly he withdraws,
and you just can’t seem to figure out why.

Why is that?

Well he felt so afraid to tell you about it, that now he isn’t communicating properly
with you.

Why was he afraid?

He’s afraid because he figured out that if he tells you what that problem is, that you’ll
take it so personally, that the problem will take over the entire relationship after that
point.

No man wants that.

But I know that no woman wants this either. So the solution here, is to learn to
separate your problems from who you are as an individual, and to recognize that your
problems don’t define you, and should not be allowed to.

They should be dealt with separately, and outside of you as an individual, because
they are what happens to you, but they are not therefore who you are.

Learning to do this, over a period of time, means that men can feel more comfortable
being around you, because they can trust that you won’t completely break down if
something unexpected happens, or if you are faced with a challenge.

It makes men feel like you are a high quality woman too, because not many women
are actually aware of this behavior, and not many women know HOW to change it
either.

But, it’s extremely important that you work on this, because this affects every aspect
of your relationship with a man, even if you have just met him. It’s the difference,
ultimately, between a man who wants to be with you passionately, and a man who
would never be with you.

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One more important aspect about the Bad Smell Factor, is that women who constantly
revolve their lives around their problems, and who let themselves become consumed
by the problem, almost ALWAYS attract losers, abusers, and users in their lives.

Why?

Those are the ONLY kinds of men who will put up with this reality.

High quality men do not go near women who cannot tell the difference between an
external problem and an internal problem.

So if you are a woman who has been finding dead beat men, frequently in your life,
and you have been asking yourself “why”, for a long time now, this is your answer.

It means that you have an addictive pattern running through your mind, wherein you
concentrate yourself around your problems and thus project this. This turns away the
high quality men, but attracts the low quality men.

Fixing that once again, means separating who you are, from what is happening to
you, and dealing with each thing, SEPARATELY. So if you have insecurities, fears and
doubts those get dealt with as a completely different concern, and problem, outside of
what is happening to you. Then if you have a problem outside of you, such as in the
example of somebody calling you ugly, you realize that this doesn’t mean that you are,
but it means that the person who is saying this has an internal issue they need to
resolve.

It means you don’t allow the problem to become you, or to encompass who you are.

Separating your own internal problems, from external ones means that the quality of
your life increases too, as you will find your problems will be solved a lot faster, and
easier this way, because now you are not over complicating things, and aren’t giving
too much attention and time, feeding the wrong things.

So coming back to the main point now, of this stage, which is to appeal to a man,
intimately, by allowing your greatness to shine through, the main point here is this: if

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you want a man to be attracted to you, on a deeper, emotional level, you first have to
remove the mental barriers that he may have surrounding you.

Removing the “bad smell factor”, means that you make room, for the main point of
this stage, which is to assume that your man is attracted to you now. As part of this
stage, you also ultimately assume that you are WORTHY of attraction. It now means
that you are funny, you are beautiful, you are lively, you are fun, and you are exciting
to be around.

Again, you are not your problems… so don’t convert those very same problems over
into the bedroom, or into your intimate life. Deal with them, as they need to be dealt,
and allow yourself to acknowledge and recognize that there is more to you, so that
you can embrace that reality.

Assume this, and you will start to EMBODY it.

Stage 3: Convey That Assumption Through Action Solidifying- What is ‘action

solidifying’? Well, it’s simply applying actions to your assumption, so that now you are
actually DOING what you assume as well. To best help you understand what I mean, I
have you show you what that looks like.

So, what does that look like?

It looks like this:

· By being in a state of unaffected reality. It means that you are non-reactive to
whatever it is that is going on around you, especially when it comes to your man.
Remember: you WANT him, but you don’t need him. You aren’t a desperately needy
chick here.

You are an awesome power house, and this guy would suffer a loss if he doesn’t come
swoop you up. You know that you deserve that from him, so command it too, by not
being an overly reactive person.

· By having a healthy sense of physical body language. It means you sit closer
to him, lean in to him, and that you are comfortable allowing this man into your

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physical space, and that you in fact, welcome it. Your eyes stay on the prize, locking
into his gaze, so that he cannot get lost looking anywhere else. You know he is
attracted, which means you know where he needs to be looking, and who he needs to
be with you… and that is in YOUR direction, so help him to head in that direction too,
with your body language.

· By leading where it counts.This means that you are not always asking for, nor
seeking his approval, in everything that he asks you, or in everything that you say. A
lot of women make the mistake of becoming a “right”, or “question” woman, when
after everything they state, or answer for a man, they start asking for their approval,
or begin saying things like: “what do you think?” or “does that freak you out?” etc…

When you ask a question after something you’ve revealed, answered, or stated, it tells
a guy that you are not secure or confident in yourself. Be careful not to always ask for
your guys’ stamp of approval after everything you say. If what you said is true for you,
that should be enough, and if you accept it, he will too, in time, so remember that.

Thus, it’s ok to take the lead in a conversation, if what you are discussing pertains to
something that you are telling him, answering for him, or are giving him, so that you
aren’t coming back to him to finish everything off with a seal of approval each and
every time.

· By getting off the apology train- You aren’t 100% certain what your man wants
all of the time, so when you feel like you said the wrong thing, you immediately come
in with your apology train, offering up all kinds of apologies, just to gain his approval
again. A woman who assumes that a man is attracted to her, doesn’t need to
apologize all the time, for every little thing. Why should you be sorry? Think about
that, which leads me to my next point:

· Having the ability to be humorous- This means that instead of apologizing at

every thing you might get wrong, or not say right, you now just laugh it off. Again,
you are assuming attraction here, which means that you have to have a level of
confidence in your mans’ choice, that he made to be interested in you in the first
place.
Being extremely apologetic, therefore, tells a man that you are insecure, but laughing
things off, and moreover being able to be humorous, tells a guy that you are secure,
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and that you don’t take every little thing as this ultimately damaging and serious
reality.

It makes it easier for him to be around you, because now he knows that you aren’t
turning everything into this huge and intense “deal”, where you freak out every
second over the smallest of things.

Stage 4: Take It For Granted- Every fiber of your being is going to want to
question if he really does like you, and if everything is going well. You are going to
want to know what he REALLY thinks, but again, don’t give in to that. In fact, throw
that out the window!

Instead, act as if this guy has already been madly in love with you, and get
comfortable with that idea. Take for granted now, the fact that he DOES, and get
MORE THAN comfortable in that reality.

Your job here, is to assume again, that attraction is there. The whole purpose of that,
is to help you exhibit a level of confidence that will have your man wanting to know
more about you, and further more will attract him to want to be with you on a deeper
level.

This means that you quite literally have to take him for granted, and even yourself.
You are more than enough for him. So don’t question this, and don’t worry about this.

Again you are not going to try and PROVE that this guy needs you, by begging him to
stay, or trying to force him to see the goodies by becoming extremely needy. That
only makes a guy think that you are desperate.

But taking him for granted a little bit, makes him work hard to force you to see HIS
value, which now has him chasing after you.

It means that you aren’t, for example, calling him like crazy, and you aren’t constantly
seeking his approval every step of the way by asking for his opinion on everything. It
instead means that you give just as much space as is needed, and that you offer your
own opinions, and make him take them.

Again, if you assume that your man has already been madly in love with you, would
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you feel the need to call him every 10 minutes? Would you be intensely wrapped up in
trying to find out if he thinks one of your eyes is more crooked than the other?

Probably not. You’d probably act, and feel a lot more comfortable if you had been with
this guy for a long time, and knew already that he was comfortable… right?

You wouldn’t be worrying about intensely chasing this guy, at that stage.

That’s exactly what you need to do NOW, is relax, therefore, and take your man for
granted, so that you are no longer getting in your own way, which leads me to the
next point, of step #2 in the Dramatic Sex Appeal method.

Step #2: Dramatic Flirting- This is where you take the idea,and you put it into
action now, only you twist everything to be in your favor. That’s the element of drama,
in this case, because what you are in essence going to do, is you are going to change
the typical outcome, into something completely different.

What this means, is that, if your man is flirting heavily with you, you will come in and
throw a stopper on it, thus giving control back to you, all the while intriguing him
further.

If your man is growing dry and distant, and isn’t on the subject, what you do, then in
that case is twist things around, to drop another bombshell teaser on him, so that now
he is coming back to the subject.

Basically, all that you are doing in this step, is you are changing the outcome of
things, to be in your favor, by stopping the original outcome, and replacing it with an
even more powerful reality of an open loop that you are creating. This open loop can
only be satisfied and answered through you.

So you’re assuming that he is attracted to you, and you are exhibiting a level of
confidence. Unnecessary drama is removed now, which means you have room to
throw in some necessary drama. This is where you want to tease him, and build up an
intense level of curiosity, surrounding you.

What you’re going to do, therefore, is this: drop hints that he is already attracted to

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you, by directly teasing him for that reality in a slightly cocky manner, this time, with
statements where they don’t belong. There are two ways to do this.

The first, way, is when your man is either:

A) Flirting with you,

B) Dropping hints that he is into you, or,
C) Is clearly showing interest in you physically, or with his statements, by
complimenting you, or caressing you etc…

What you do in this case, is you push him away a little bit. So for example, if he is
flirting heavily with you, you drop a dramatic bomb, saying something like this:

“I can see you're into me, but can we please take it easy?”

It’s important to understand that a man’s natural response to this, would be to

basically go “what the heck?”, and to almost ignore your request, and try to push
further, because now you’ve challenged him.

You’ve basically put a stopper right in the middle of it, and said “hey, I like this, but I
don’t need this”. Your man is going to want work, to make you see that you do in fact
want it as badly, as he will now want it from you.

Emotionally this spikes his levels of curiosity, and a desire to approval seek will arise
from within him, as he will now seek further validation from you.

Your man will also feel confusion, as he tries to work out what exactly it is that he isn’t
doing well enough, to make you want to take things further.

You are now at this stage, starting to appeal to his emotions. Basically what you are
doing here, is you are dictating the course of action now, and aren’t just letting him
decide. He was EXPECTING you to give in, but you came in and twisted that agenda,
into another reality, where HE now has to give in to you.

You are literally telling him “what’s what” now, right when he was about to start into
something deeper with you. It makes your man work extremely hard after this to seek
your validation and approval.

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Some other examples of things you could say, include, but are not limited to the
following:

· Let’s say that you went out on a date and you can see that he is getting bored,
that’s when you spice things up, by saying: “Aren’t we so fond of each other already,
look at how much we have to talk about?”, and then you laugh, to further cement the
teasing aspect.

After the date, you can text him saying: “Today was wonderful, however, don't get any
crazy ideas yet and don’t ask me why I am saying that either.” You basically, at this
stage, are giving him something to work toward figuring out, once again. You aren’t
just handing him everything easily.

· You could also say, “I am getting strange feelings around you, which can’t be
described, but I’m not sure if it’s good or bad yet. Maybe I’ll know with time.”

It’s important to note that you must state these in a funny way, and you cannot
appear to be TOO serious when you say these things. It’s only going to come across
as a TEASE if you project it in a teasing way.

So it’s not about being rude, insulting him, or just turning him down- but rather about
just mixing up a little humour and slight rejection into the mix, so that your man
works harder to please you after this.

Doing this emotionally and intimately excites your man, because you build up a
deeper emotional connection, and level of approval seeking. It means that he starts to
need fulfilment through you.

Now earlier, I mentioned that there are two ways in which you can dramatically flirt
with your man. The first way, is when he is directly heading toward something
intimate, or when he is being direct with his attraction.

The second way, that you can dramatically flirt with your man, is to drop hints,
completely out of context, when you know that your man wasn’t even hinting at that.
It means teasing him outside of the moments when he expected it, and it makes him
think about you, after the fact, because now you dropped a huge hint.

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So, if your man, for example is talking about buying a new car… that’s when you
throw in a bomb like this:

“I hope you’re not buying that to impress me, I would rather prefer that you just take
me out to a nice dinner!”

Or if your guy is talking about how hard work is, say something like:

“I really love how hard you work. It turns me on.”

Basically, you flirt with him, and bring the conversation back to an idea, that you are
interested in him, or that something he is doing, is attractive to you, or impressive, in
a way that is seductive.

But you must be careful again, not to insult him, and to state things lightly, and
teasingly.

Step #3: Appeal to His Emotions-Although men are naturally born leaders, one
HUGE problem men have when it comes to intimacy, is that they often feel like they
are having to spoon feed their women.

A lot of women are so afraid to take the lead, intimately, that a man feels like he is
always stuck in a position where he has to tell her exactly what to do, how he wants
it, and why, every waking moment.

Obviously, that gets exhausting if a man feels like he always has to explain himself,
and always has to initiate everything. It means that he ends up feeling as if he is
almost forcing you to be intimate with him, or forcing you to be there, and forcing you
to understand him.

THUS, if you want to appeal to your mans’ emotions there are 3 things you must do.

You must:

A) Understand
B) Acknowledge

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C) Validate

What are you understanding, acknowledging, and validating? You are basically
recognizing his view of things, as a man, but you are going to do this, without
conditions or judgements.

I know it sounds selfish, but guys deep down, need that from a woman, just like how
a woman needs unconditional love from her man. It’s basically offering him up the
ultimate form of intimacy, by being compassionate, understanding, accepting, and
thankful for the reality that your man is and represents.

So How Do You Understand Him?

So the first step to understanding, involves listening. Listening does not JUST mean,
with your ears. It means paying attention to how he reacts, and feels when something
happens- but also paying attention to what he says about that thing.

It means paying attention to all aspects of his reaction to something, so that you can
start to get the bigger picture. You’ll notice over time, that your man actually drops
hints, or tells you what he wants, sometimes with actions, and other times with words.

It helps you to piece together his true desires, when you step back and actually listen,
and thus give him the space to communicate comfortably.

Listening means, that you don’t cut him off when he is trying to tell you something. It
means that you don’t immediately argue what he is trying to say, or try to prevent him
from revealing something to you, because it’s hard for you to handle.

Listening means that you take in what he is saying, or doing, and you allow that thing
to just exist and be, without reacting heavily, and without immediately turning that
into something about you.

It means you completely allow the concentration to be on your man, and what he is
saying, and on his feelings therein.

Another part of understanding comes in being able to recognize when your man is
going through something, or is feeling something, without him always having to tell

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you.

It means that if you see him withdrawing for example, that you don’t immediately turn
that into this assumption that he must be mad at you, and that YOU did something
wrong, because that would be a misunderstanding, but rather turn that back to him,
on what is immediately happening.

You can ask him in that moment if something is bothering him, but he may or may not
answer. It’s better, instead to recognize, the emotion first, by saying something like
“hey, I notice that you’ve been a little distant lately.”

You then let him come to you, by not asking him to explain himself, but by backing
away, and giving him the room to do that on his own terms, and in his own territory,
when he is ready.

This makes him feel more understood, because you are not jumping to conclusions,
but you are at least letting him know that you recognize something is going on.

An even better way to offer understanding for your man, is to after that point let him
know that you are there for him, but not to pressure him to open up, before he is
ready, either.

That alone, reveals to a man that you truly understand his needs, because you aren’t
pushing him to do what you want, but are giving him the space to prepare himself, to
do it. This is beyond attractive and intimately comforting to a man.

So How Do You Acknowledge Him?

The second thing you must do, therefore, to reach your man emotionally, is to
acknowledge the fact that he IS a man.

This means that you do not judge him, or you do not place a condition on how he is
feeling, or what he is telling you. It also means that you basically don’t blame, judge,
or criticize any behaviours of his which are predominantly a part of his make up as a
man.

It means showing and proving to him that you are not the kind of a woman who sees
him being a man, or who notices him doing his typical male routines, and judges him

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for that. It means that you don’t end up saying things like:

“I can’t believe my boyfriend spends so much time watching sports”, or “Ugh! How
come he doesn’t just talk about everything he is feeling”.

You cannot expect your man to behave like a woman. You must remember that men
have a different set up in the head, and they need to be recognized and
acknowledged for it.

You cannot punish your man, for simply being a man. So acknowledging your man,
means accepting, allowing, and APPRECIATING, all of the things that make him
different from you, from his behaviour, to mannerisms, to how he talks and thinks
etc...
This means that you begin letting him know that you are accepting of his ways, being,
and behaviours, without being judgemental about it.

So if your guy leaves the toilet seat up (one of those very common arguments that
annoys some women), don’t turn this into a battle of the sexes, and demand that he
react to his bathroom business, like you would.

Instead, accept that, don’t make a big deal about it. Acknowledge that he is doing it,
because he’s a man, and that’s about it. There’s no need to punish him for this.

The same thing when it comes to intimacy, you might notice that your man is pretty
direct in his approaches, and goes in straight for the kill. You might want him to take
longer, and do more… but he’s only doing it this way, because his logical brain is
saying hey, do that.

His emotional brain is not activated yet, so he’s only reacting based on how he’s been
taught to react as a man.

Again, accept the behaviours if you can, and don’t judge him. Some of them can be
improved and changed, and some of them cannot. The sooner you work out which
ones are actually a part of him, and which ones can be improved the better, because
then you will be able to do the next step almost effortlessly…

So How Do You Validate Him?

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Men want to know that they are doing things right, and that you love them for being
men.

This means that you must show appreciation, and validation toward the things that he
does, says, and expresses, so that he can feel like he’s heading in the right direction,
and so that it can feel fulfilling to him, emotionally, to come to you with his needs,
wants and desires.

This is especially true when it comes to intimacy, because that is the most vulnerable
time that a man will ever spend around you. His entire “manhood” is on the line there,
and can easily be disrespected, and his ego can easily be crushed in that very
moment.

So what you need to do is validate him. Now this doesn’t mean blowing things way
out of proportion, because as you learned in the previous sections, you actually have
to make it justifiable.

So what you do here, is you begin to recognize and offer appreciation or validation
toward things that he is saying, or doing that you really enjoy. You tell him why you
enjoy that, and what it does for you.

This ultimately tells him that he is truly appreciated, admired, and needed, and helps
him to fulfill a deeper purpose, of the need to feel useful. This tells him, that he is
useful to you, and helpful.

Ultimately, this appeals to a man on a deeper emotional and intimate level, because
you soothe him

Making These Steps Work:

It’s important to understand that if you truly want to be able to turn a man on, appeal
to him sexually, and satisfy him intimately, that the quickest, easiest, and most
profound way to do this over and over again, is to appeal to his emotions.

Throughout this chapter I have given you ways to help remove some of your own
obstacles, that as a woman, may get in your way of your ability to do that.

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If you truly want to have an intensely satisfying experience with your man, from start
to finish, it’s important to take care of him on a deeper level. Once you begin doing
this, you will notice that your man will pay attention to your needs as well, especially
intimately.

This means that if you are dealing with a sexually dry guy, or with a sexually selfish
partner, that he will change his behaviours, because again, you are leading the way. If
you take the time to stimulate him on a deeper level, that idea will be cemented into
his mind every time he thinks of you, so that ultimately he will be turned on heavily
even just at the thought of you.
When you do this, you also create an intense level of attraction and affection, which is
constantly at a peak level. It means that your man will start to feel like he cannot get
enough of you, and he will begin to want “all” of you.

Things that might have been ignored, or things which he might not have found
attractive before, will now become irresistible.

Why?

Again, he will want to eat ALL of you up, on a very passionate and intense scale.

Why would a man suddenly want to treat you this way?

Again, if you reach him on that deeper level, you ultimately open up a window of
intensely passionate desire, because you would have in essence made your man
COMFORTABLE enough to open up around you, emotionally to begin with.

If you want him to open up on an intimately emotionally level, however, you must first
comfort him in general, and must then coax him into a dramatically appealing intimate
reality, that all first starts with his emotions and in his head.

If you were to think about it, all of our feelings come from our thoughts. So intimacy
starts in the thoughts, which is why it’s important to first reach a man based on how
he thinks about you, and to dramatically appeal to his thought process of who you
are, and what is attractive about you, so that ultimately you can cement a very

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powerful idea that you are this ultimately appealing woman, who he needs to just
come in, swoop up, and lavish with pleasure.

Chapter 16: The Impatience Rule

“Sometimes you have to get a little impatient, before you can get patient.”

So far, in this program I have been talking a lot about what you have to do, to give
your man what he wants, in order to get what you want from him in return, but I’d
like to now completely turn that reality upside down, for a moment.

Why is that?

Well, sometimes, it’s not about giving your man what he wants, in hopes that you will
get what you want. Sometimes, it’s about not giving him what he wants, so that YOU
get what you want.

Allow me to explain…

When your man is “behaving”, he most likely will go well out of his way to please you,
and to react to you positively, correct?

You’ll notice that by giving him what he needs, he gives back to you 10 times more,
just because.

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But sometimes, you either end up with a man who you feel like you have to mother or
baby sit into doing the right things, or your man starts to get lazy as he begins taking
things for granted.

Either way, sometimes you just need a tactic like this to kick your man back into
shape, because otherwise, if you did not, he’d end up walking all over you.

Now if you recall, in the story at the beginning of this program, Amy’s boyfriend Derek
just so happened to be one of those cases, of a man who really needed quite the kick,
to get going.

At first, Amy thought that she just had to push him, and that eventually Derek would
“get it”, but then over time she began to realize that a part of this, was her own fault,
and she learned that it wasn’t how hard you pushed a man, that mattered.

What mattered was HOW you pushed a man to begin with, and if you followed
through on your own demands, in the first place. In fact, it wasn’t even about
“pushing” your man to do something, but rather was about encouraging him, and
furthermore, by removing his ability to NOT do the right thing, in the first place.

What exactly do I mean by that?

Well, a lot of women actually end up doing one of the following, when their man is
misbehaving, or when he isn’t doing the right thing:

· Arguing, nagging, and complaining about it CONSTANTLY, or any chance you get.
· Negatively dramatizing everything, so that even if he was trying, now everything he
does is wrong.
· Blaming and guilt tripping him, to make him never want to do that thing again.
· Making a mountain out of an ant hill, to dramatize the importance of the actual
thing.

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· Bringing in arguments/statements that are outside of the actual problem to further
guilt him into taking action.
· Insulting and hitting a man below the belt to shame him into doing the right thing.
· Punishing him for the behaviour or actions that you don’t agree with.
· Disrespecting his boundaries, in an attempt to push him outside of his comfort zone
because you see your need as being more important, in the immediate future.
· Having emotional temper tantrums in front of him.
· Etc….
All of these behaviours have one unfortunate thing in common, wherein each and
every single one of them is designed to only cause MORE problems, rather than to fix
the problems.

Every single one of them, actually ends up making YOU wrong, because now you are
misbehaving, to try and get him to do the right thing. Have you ever heard the saying
“two wrongs don’t make a right”, or how about the famous saying, by Mahatma
Gandhi, which goes “an eye for an eye, and the world would go blind”-?

These sayings exist for a reason. They exist because many people, throughout history
have made the grave mistake of trying to solve their problems, with another problem.

But this is simply not how things should work, in life, and especially when it comes to
your relationships. It cannot work that way either, and here’s why:

If you try to solve a problem that you are having with your man, by introducing a new
problem, three ultimately negative things happen. They are as follows:

1. You turn the main concentration away from the actual problem, on to the
new problem. So now your man is ACTUALLY trying to solve this new problem, so
that the immediate pain and frustration he feels from that problem, can be resolved.
The older problem, doesn’t feel as immediately important to him, because you have
now just caused a very strong and volatile reaction after that, which he will have no
choice but to try and deal with first. Part of his attempt to deal with that, may include

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“avoidance”, because you are creating an emotionally intense environment, that either
elicits the fight or flight response in a man.

This explains why, even if you do all of the above, your man never does what he
needs to, to just fix the situation…. but he instead withdraws more, or fights what you
are trying to say.

2. You end up causing your man to feel like you are punishing him. He did
something wrong, now you are reacting strongly, and are doing everything in your
power to act against him, for doing that very thing. He will NEVER get the message
that you actually mean well, or that you were trying to communicate a deeper need
this way.

When your man feels like you are punishing him, he will fight it, and will begin
resisting everything you are saying. Even if you are right, you become WRONG now, in
your man’s mind, because you are reacting harshly to something.

3. You teach your man to do MORE of the very thing you asked him not to
do.I know it sounds absurd to think that your man would want to go and do more of
the very thing you hate, after you just made his life so miserable… but that’s exactly
what happens. Why?

If I told you not to think of a pink elephant, right now… what would you think of?

Well, most people would think of a pink elephant. It’s not because they want to be
defiant either, it’s because the message itself, gets broken down in the brain as this:
“Do not think of a pink elephant.”

Do you see the first word, of the sentence? It says “do”. That is the first instruction
that the brain hears.

Now, the second word, is of course an instruction not to, but the brain only has so
much time to come to terms with such a sudden demand, that really has no context.

I told you to not think of that elephant, but I never really gave you any context. I

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didn’t say why, and I never told you what it would do for you, if you didn’t etc…

I simply barked a command at you, and now you’re probably thinking of a pink
elephant, or in the very least, are listening to me talk about it now… but either way,
the concentration in your mind is now completely on that elephant, even though that’s
not what I wanted.

The same thing happens in a man’s mind when you try to push him away from
something. He hears this: do more of that thing.

It’s not even that he’s trying to be defiant, and it’s not that he’s trying to hurt you
either. It’s just that you haven’t given him a proper incentive to actually STOP doing
that thing, and even worse: you are giving him permission to do MORE of that thing,
by validating his behaviour.

What do I mean by that?

Well, when you put on a huge show, that gives attention to what he did wrong, it
indirectly tells a man, that by doing that, he can get more attention from you, he can
make you go emotionally crazy, and that he can cause you to think so heavily about
him, that you even get mad.

It might sound sick to imagine that men actually enjoy this, but they do. It gives them
a huge ego boost to KNOW that they have this much power over you, to elicit such a
strong emotional reaction.

Sure they don’t like what you are saying or doing during that reaction, because it’s
negative, but what they do like, is the idea that your reaction represents. It represents
an idea that they should do more of that very thing, because you are indirectly
rewarding them by reacting heavily.

It means this, in a mans mind:“I can do something wrong, and she will give me
attention, she will prioritize me, and she will go nuts.”

So what you must understand about this, is that you actually should not do that. You
must not allow a man to gain power, through the wrong means. If he is wrong,
therefore, you must show him that he is actually wrong, through another means.

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What means, therefore, should you do this through? This is where the Impatience
Rule comes into play.

The Impatience Rule does the exact opposite of what you’d normally be doing.
Normally you’d be waiting it out, and nagging your brains off, to this guy over a long
and emotionally extensive period of time, just to get him to listen, and then to get him
to respond.

Normally, you’d be arguing all kinds of things, and you’d even end up insulting your
man in various ways.

The Impatience Rule does none of that, and involves none of that. In fact, it is the
exact opposite.

This rule involves 3 very simple steps, which when applied, will give you a much better
outcome. What are those steps?

Step #1:Infuse A Solid Level Of Polite Sincerity-

A lot of women, when something doesn’t go right with their man, end up feeling
angry, hurt, or heavily frustrated. The feelings multiply and grow over time, the more
that a woman feels her man is not listening to her, or is not changing, which in turn
results in her projecting those feelings back onto her man, in an attempt to alleviate
the pain she is feeling.

The problem with doing that, is again, as you’ve learned, the fact that your man ends
up feeling punished, and furthermore, the validation he receives from all of the
attention you give him, if he does something wrong.

It’s therefore, impossible to “punish” your man into doing the right thing. No amount
of nagging, pushing, arguing, or “talking” will actually get the job done. There is a
level upon which, explaining will only go so far.

Explaining things, in a man’s mind, means that you just want to be heard. It doesn’t
equate to the fact that you actually need to see a physical or emotional change in
your man. That is why you must change how you communicate with your man, if you
want him to change how he reacts to you.

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To do that, you must follow a “Fact-Feeling-Request” format. This format completely
takes out any arguments, blame, or anything else from the mix, and simply delivers
the reality that you are actually after.

So the “fact”, in this case, is a simple statement of what is actually going on. It’s
basically, you pointing out, quite literally what has happened.

So if your man is not listening to you, you would state something like this:
“Sometimes you ignore me, on purpose, when you get home from work”, or
“Sometimes I notice that when you get home from work, you struggle to listen to me”.

You must be very careful not to drag any personal emotions or feelings into this
statement, at this time. It cannot talk about how you FEEL that your man ignores you,
but rather must bluntly state the behaviour that you want him to directly look at.

This must be done, so that your man can clearly see EXACTLY what it is that you are
trying to get him to look at, which is happening. So be sure to only ever list the direct
event or circumstance as a fact, which means you might even have to spend some
time to dig and think about what actually is happening, before you approach your
man.

The next step, involves you telling your man how this makes you feel. This is basically
explaining the result of the behaviour, and why you are bringing it up. This should be
stated also matter-of-factly, and shouldn’t drag on into a huge intense list of all the
hurt that you feel.

Using the same example as before, with trying to get your man to listen, what you
could say in that circumstance is the following:

“When you brush me off, I feel hurt, because I struggle to understand why you don’t
want to help me feel understood.”

In this part of the step, you can explain where the feeling is coming from, or why you
feel that way, but be careful again, to deliver just the straight reality. If your man is
ignoring you, figure out the exact negative feeling that is arising as a result of his
actions, and then let your man know that this is being caused, and that it is hurting
you.

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The last part of this step, involves a request. Now that you’ve stated what is
happening, and you have told your man how you feel about that, you can now ask
him to make a change, because you have given him the problem, and a reason to
want to solve it.

It is fair now, under this circumstance to now directly ask for something. This request
must be fair, and must be reasonable.

Again, using the example from before, of trying to get your man to listen to you, you
can now request, something like this: “In the future, can you please take some time to
try and listen to me, for just 10 minutes, before you start doing other things?”

This is a more than reasonable request at this stage, and you are no longer trying to
force him to change, by nagging him, or by punishing him for the fact that he is doing
something wrong. This time, you are opening up the door to a solution and are quite
literally handing it to him.

Now it’s up to him to actually follow through, but that’s where step #2 comes into play
for this part of the method. I will get to that in just a bit.

Step #2:Become Consistently Impatient-

Now that you’ve made your request, or you have clearly brought up the issue in its
most raw form, your man is left with two options.

The first is to do something about it, as you’d like.

The second is to ignore it, and do nothing.

You can remove his ability to even attempt the second option, by drawing boundaries
that your man is not allowed to cross, or by imposing timeframes that your man must
complete your request within.

A lot of women end up compromising when it comes to their relationships, and

especially when it comes to their men. For example, you might need him to listen to
you more often, or to pay attention more often to some of the things you are telling
him.

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But time and time again, he seems to either be extremely forgetful, or he simply
doesn’t ever bother trying to place importance on hearing what it is that you have to
say.

Most women, when faced with this situation, would end up waiting it out, and telling
him over and over again, that she’d like to be heard. Yet, she still sticks around, even
if he is NOT doing what she wants.

That’s where the compromising is coming into play. It means that you are settling for
less, by staying around, and by rewarding your man with your presence, love, and
affection… even if he isn’t listening to you properly.

The same is true for any other problem you might be having with your man. If he is
doing too much or too little of something, and you need him to change, as in you
ABSOLUTELY need him to change that behaviour, then you need to start sticking the
priority onto your own needs here.

It means that if you need him to listen more, you don’t give in to him, until he’s
actually doing that in the first place. You don’t ALLOW him to slip into the bad
behaviour after that. It means that you no longer have the patience to sit around, and
WAIT for whenever your man “feels like” getting around to doing what you need.

This is not a “feels like” kind of a situation. Either he’s going to be the best man that
he can be, in your presence, or he will be an extremely lazy and arrogant man.

But all of that depends on how you react to him, and how you LEAD him, which is why
it’s your job to not actually compromise where it matters. If you have a direct need,
and you need him to be fulfilling that NOW, then you don’t wait until 4 years from now
for him to start doing that thing, especially if what you are asking for is a realistic
demand.

This is where the art of impatience comes into play. Sometimes, as the quote at the
beginning of this chapter suggests, you have to get a little impatient, before you can
get patient, especially with a man.

It’s important for you to understand, therefore, that impatience is actually a good
thing here, because it works in your favor.

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Impatience means that you won’t be wasting your time, efforts, emotions, and mental
power on a guy who refuses to give you, what you are openly giving him to begin
with.

Remember that you are giving your man affection, attention, understanding etc… and
you cater to every need that you possibly can, when you are aware of his needs. But
he is not returning that favor right now, which means he is taking you for granted, or
worse, he is just using you.

But you are not going to let that happen anymore. Allowing a reality of “patience” and
“understanding” which you extend toward all of the WRONG things, means that you
are missing out on all the greater things in life, and that you are settling for less.

So how do you get impatient?

You start to impose deadlines, or you simply refuse to allow something to be, until or
when he finally does what you were asking.

In the story at the beginning of the program, this is the exact tactic that Amy had
begun to use, to get her man to finally start committing to her, or calling her more
etc…

The way that she did it, was she worked with one problem at a time, and would start
to impose a deadline or a clear demand upon Derek, and she would not give anything
back to him, until he did this.

Now Amy’s case was pretty extreme, but the same thing applies, even if you are
dealing with a less extreme situation.

So how do you impose a deadline or make a clear demand?

Well, if you are giving him a deadline, you state that you need or would like for him to
complete your request, from step #1, within a certain reasonable time frame.

You do this, by asking in your request, for him to do that.

So if you asked him to listen to you more, you could actually change your request to

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accommodate a deadline, by now saying this: “Could you, give me 10 minutes of your
time tomorrow, so that I could talk to you about what’s going on?”.

Now you have told him what you want, and how you want it, but you’ve also given
him a time frame to complete it. The time frame should be attached to a reasonable
expectation of a date or place through which he could work to help change the
behaviour.

You don’t have to tell him to fix this today, or tomorrow, but you could tell him WHERE
he could work on that as well, if you have an actual place for him to try that. So if
your man doesn’t listen to you after work, because maybe he’s tired, or whatever the
reason, you could say something like this now: “Would it be possible for you to take
some time out of your day, for me, so that I could talk and share with you?”

You are still imposing a deadline, but this time you are giving him some flexibility to
choose when he can do that. Your man will give you a response, or he might think
about it, but ask him to let you know, after that, when he thinks that can happen, if
you don’t want to give him a direct date.

Indirect deadlines, like these are good for short term behaviours that you’d like your
man to change, but with things, that aren’t a “make or break” the relationship kind of
a deal.

Demands, however come into play, when your man is saying or doing something that
crosses your boundaries. These are things that you cannot, and must not compromise
on, which is why it now becomes a demand.

This includes things like, when you find that your man is hiding something from you
more often than not, or when you find that he is lying to you, or, if you find that your
man keeps on breaking his promises, etc.

These are serious situations that must be met with serious demands, because failure
to counteract the situation on an equal level, tells your man that it’s ok to be behaving
that way.

These kinds of situations, must be dealt with immediately, and strongly.

In these cases, you must change your request from step #1, to a demand. You must

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clearly state what you want, and why, now, to a level where your man understands
that if he does not change it, there are consequences for HIM… but not for you.

Right now all of the consequences are on your shoulders. He does something wrong,
you suffer.

It should be the other way around. If he does something wrong, he should be the one
dealing with the consequences. Once you can change the situation to be this way, you
will find that your man makes more of an effort after that point to do the right thing,
and secondly, he doesn’t even feel that NOT doing the right thing is an option
anymore, because there will be no reward in doing such.

So how do you make a direct demand, if you need him to change something serious?

You first give him a warning. This is a warning that does not attack your man, but
rather attacks the act or the behaviour that you are having a problem with. In your
warning, you must once again address the behaviour directly, that you are having a
concern with.

But you must do one more thing, this time when explaining your feelings, is you must
bring or allow him to bring his feelings into the mix. Remember that this behaviour is
likely happening because your man feels a block, or because something you are doing
might be encouraging it.

So it can be best solved, if you can actually get him to tell you what it is that is
pushing him to do it in the first place.

How do you do that?

You let him know that you actually aren’t sure why he’s doing it, and you throw in a
few guesses of your own. They can be correct guesses or incorrect guesses, but the
main point now, is that you are clearly indicating to him, an intention to figure out or
know what is going on with him now, that is causing the behaviour.

So, using the example of your man lying to you, you might say something like this
now:

“I don’t understand why you feel the need to lie to me, maybe it’s because you feel

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that I might not understand you, or might judge you incorrectly…”

So you’re giving him a clear indication that there is something negative happening,
and that you are trying to understand the cause. You can also say something like:

“I know that you have been lying to me more often lately, but I find that when I point
it out, you avoid me. I’d like to know what’s going on, but each time I try to address
it, you struggle to communicate with me. I want you to know that I am trying to
understand you, but I need you to tell me what’s going on, if you want me to actually
be able to help you here. I am sure that you don’t feel good lying to me either.”

As you can see in this statement, you are starting to bring his feelings into the mix as
well, by pointing out how he must be feeling, or how hard it probably is for him as
well. So now you are recognizing that the behaviour is happening, because your man
is already struggling, which means you are giving him a chance to open up and finally
let you know why.

Again, it’s important to note that you should not attack your man, but should go after
the action itself. Once you have pointed out the actions, you can then bring in explicit
details as to why this is affecting you, and how.

In the other step, I mentioned that you should not give too many details as to how
you feel, except to just clearly state one or two things that are happening to you as a
result of the poor behaviour.

In this case, the behaviour is more extreme, so it’s ok to get into more details, so that
your man can begin to understand the severity of the consequences of his choices.

Once you have done this, you must give him a reason to change, and you must let
him know why that is in the best interest of not just you, but BOTH of you.

So using the lying problem, as an example again, here’s what your statement would
look like, once you have tied in, the problem, his feelings, your feelings, and the
statement of change that you wish for him to make…

You tell him this:

“I don’t understand why you feel the need to lie to me, maybe it’s because you feel

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that I might not understand you, or might judge you incorrectly, however I just want
to let you know that you can be unconditionally honest with me, without fearing
judgement or a lack of understanding from my part.

I thought I’d just let you know this much, because I can sense that you have been
lying to me, and you must have some reasons why, so I just wanted to address them
and let you know that you can be completely honest with me.”

By stating that you wanted to let your man know that he can do the opposite of what
he has been doing, which in this case, is to be honest, you are in effect, telling your
man what you want from now on.

The key here, is that this is actually a warning. This is where you clearly lay down
everything in front of him, and offer him a way out. You haven’t come in and judged
him. You haven’t come in and pushed him hard with words.

You’ve simply said, “hey, this is how things are, but that reality is hurting both of us.
I’d like you to try this new reality now.”

Another way of putting this, is to turn it into a “fill in the blanks” kind of a statement,
which would basically now look like this:

“Recently, you’ve been _____________(insert the action).

This makes me feel ___________(insert the consequence). I am sure that you are
also feeling ________ (insert the secondary consequence) because of it too.
I need you to stop doing this, because I won’t be able to _______(insert the future
consequence, such as: trust, understanding, acceptance etc..) you after this, if you
continue to do this.”

But here’s where the “demand” comes into play, because once you’ve given him the
warning, he will either make a move to change on his own, or he will once more
ignore that. If he ignores it, here’s what you do now.

You come in with a boundary, or a demand, that he must respect and fulfill, otherwise
you make it VERY clear to him, that he won’t be getting much else from you, without
first doing that.

Now this is the part where a lot of women actually struggle, because again, you don’t

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want to be mean to your guy, you just want him to listen, or be honest etc… and you
think that by BEING there for him in every way, and by pushing him to do that, in
person, that he will do it.

But that is the wrong way to approach things.

A man only listens so much to what you say, but he mostly listens to what you DO.
Again, you are in charge of actually leading your man here, which means he follows
your lead.

If your lead, means that you normally stay, give him attention, baby him, or more
when he does something wrong, then that tells him one thing, and one thing only.

That thing, once again, is that it’s OK to misbehave, because now you are staying and
putting up with it.

So once it’s gotten to the stage where you have to make a demand or draw a
boundary, understand that your man is INTENT on actually crossing the line, which is
why you must now draw it and you cannot waver.

He won’t listen to your words anymore at this point. He will only listen to your actions,
which means there is only ONE action you can take.

That action is to pull away and take space.

So instead of babying him, giving him all the attention, and working around HIS
schedule during the problem that he is refusing to solve, you now back away. Literally,
you physically get away, and pull away emotionally.

This is to give him the space to realize that his actions have immediate consequences,
but without punishing him like you usually would. Giving him the space to work
through it, is the exact push that men need, to actually feel motivated to make a
change.

It tells them that their behaviour was NOT ok, and that acting in the way that you
didn’t want them to, means that they end up losing out on all of the good things.

That being said, once you are at the point where your man has ignored your request,

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and is ignoring your warning as well, what you do is you say this:

“Look, I tried my best, but if you want to continue to lie to me, I’ll need to protect
myself, since every time you lie to me, it really hurts me, and affects the trust
between us. Therefore, I’m just going to take some space for now.”

You make it clear that you’ve tried, and you also clarify the fact that your man is still
continuing the behaviour, while making sure to once again clearly point out the
behaviour which you dislike.

You then tell him again, that it hurts you when he does this, and now you apply a
consequence to that behaviour, such as saying it makes it hard for you to trust him. Or
it makes you feel like you cannot be open with him, or that you cannot feel safe
around him etc….

Ultimately the consequence should be something that he values, but something that
relates back to him as well, so that when you pull away, the effect is immediate on
him.

After this point, you must stand your ground. You cannot waver on this.

It doesn’t matter how many times he apologizes, or says what you want to hear, or
verbally promises to change.

You can ONLY budge, once he is ACTUALLY changing, not when he is only SAYING
that he will.

At this stage, you must emotionally back off, and physically you must leave him alone.
This means becoming dry, or even leaving, if that means staying with a family
member, or going somewhere else, then do it.

You do not go back to him, until or unless he changes that behaviour, because men
react more to your actions, than they do to your words.

If you still stick around even though he’s lying to you, even when you’ve given him all
the warnings, and everything, it’s validating, once more, his poor behaviour, by giving
him your attention and time, when he hasn’t earned it.

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Now I know that this sounds harsh, and sounds hard to do, but remember at this
stage, you’ve already been more than kind, accommodating, understanding and
patient, but your man is clearly intent on pressing your buttons, and crossing your
boundaries.

If you allow him to continue doing that, it means that you are giving him permission
to do the wrong thing, and that is NEVER ok to allow or do.

It doesn’t mean that you are punishing him either, because you are giving him a way
out, and you are not directing your concern at him personally, but rather you are
directing it at his behaviour.

So don’t feel guilty doing this, especially if his behaviour is already extremely hurtful,
or is crossing some very solid boundaries that you have.

Once you do this, you will see that your man will have no choice now, but to change,
because you are leaving him with no other option.

You are no longer babying him anymore, and you have stepped back, and allowed him
the space to be a man, and to problem solve. Keep in mind that he chose his actions,
in the first place, which means that he can CHOOSE to undo them as well, especially if
you show him that he will only get that slice of heaven, if he does the right things, in
the first place.

Step #3: Use The ‘Emotionally Lazy Principle’-A lot of women when they are in
a relationship, have an intense power struggle going on between themselves and their
man. This power struggle occurs often, and frequently in many relationships, and
usually almost always ends up in having the woman completely at the man’s mercy, as
he somehow works his way back into calling the shots, and having control.

A man usually does this by punishing the woman, for even trying to gain power over
him, through various means, such as ignoring her, insulting her, or even threatening to
leave. The ultimate fear of losing their man, means that many women end up
becoming submissive or end up putting up with backing down, so that they can still,
at least try to secure their man in the end.

Sometimes, as you may know, however, a woman cannot back down, and needs to

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hold her ground, because some of the decisions that a man makes when he is in
control, and in power of the relationship, are poor ones.

Sometimes they are things that you cannot sit back, and idly agree with, because
sometimes those decisions mean everything for the relationship.

In these moments, you need to be able to completely turn the situation around, to get
the power back, so that your man understands that YOU have needs too, and that
YOU need to be able to give input, and be heard.

Thus in a situation like this, there is one simple thing which you need to do. You need
to become “Emotionally Lazy”.

What does it mean to be emotionally lazy?

Well, when a man is going through his little moments of power struggle and
overzealous dictating in the relationship, what normally happens, is a woman tries to
counterbalance that by equally throwing her own little fit.

She tries to talk it out, almost to death, with the man. She cries, begs, pleads, and
chases him around with an emotional intensity like nothing the world has ever seen
before. Basically it means that she projects heavily onto him with her emotions.

As you’ve been learning so far though, emotional projecting means that you are:

A) Giving your man the validation to be over-zealously controlling even further,

because you are now giving him so much attention because of this fact.

B) Causing your man’s defenses to go up, because he feels attacked, by your

emotional onslaught and can’t handle all of the different emotions at once, and

C) Creating an intense level of desperation, which causes panic in the relationship, and
fear in your man’s eyes, because now you are overbearing, and are too pushy and
needy.

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Thus, the only thing that you accomplish, without being emotionally lazy, is creating
more problems for yourself, that you can’t solve, and you only further end up causing
your man to ignore you.

So, when I say that you need to be emotionally lazy, I mean that you must quite
literally take an EXTREMELY relaxed emotional position during these moments.
Ultimately, what this means is that you temporarily take on an almost casual to even
completely apathetic emotional reality toward your man.

So for example, if your man has suddenly stopped calling you, because again he is
controlling the amount of exposure and access that you have to him, a woman who is
not being emotionally lazy, would call him up 20 times, and would leave him voice
mails saying things like, “Why aren’t you picking up my call. I’ve called you 20 times.
Are you ok? Is something wrong? Are you ignoring me?”
Meanwhile, a woman who has taken on an emotionally lazy stance, would have an
attitude more like this: “hey, I love talking to you, and let’s chat, casually.”

A woman who is emotionally lazy, doesn’t reek of desperation or neediness, but

instead, very clearly isn’t going to be emotionally swayed by her man’s need to over-
zealously validate his own ego by calling the shots in the relationship, in ways that she
never agreed to.

But, she’s going to temporarily not care, which is not the same thing as agreeing to
what her man is doing, but rather is like saying “hey, go be a baby over in your corner
if you want, and avoid me. It doesn’t bother me. If anything, THANKYOU, because I
needed the space too, from your immaturity”.

It’s basically like saying that, ONLY without having to say that. Keep in mind that you
never want to SAY something like that to your man, but you want to SHOW that you
feel this way to your man instead.

Men listen MORE to actions not words. This is why, if you freak out and VALIDATE all
of his wrong behaviour, by spending a ton of time and attention on it emotionally, he
does more of it.

But if you step back and take an emotionally lazy stance, you in essence tell the guy,
indirectly that “hey, this isn’t ok, and I don’t have to put up with this, in fact, I am
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indifferent to this. Do what you want, meanwhile I am over here dealing with the stuff
that actually matters.”
What happens when you do this, is your man feels enticed to an extreme level to
basically calm down, and come down from his need to control, because now you are
not pulling him hard.

When you pull a man hard, whether verbally, or emotionally, the only response most
men have, is to pull back even harder. They want to feel like they are free, and as if
they have the freedom of choice, even in a relationship.

They hate being pigeonholed into having to do something, which is why being
emotionally lazy, is such a brilliant tactic to implement, because again, it quickly brings
your man back down to a mutual zone, wherein he will listen, and hear what you are
trying to say finally.
Furthermore, it means that you are easygoing and are more casual about everything,
and that you don’t try to cram everything into one rigid reality or outcome. This makes
it extremely easy for your man to feel comfortable in listening to what you have to
say, because now he doesn’t feel like you are taking everything to emotional
extremes.
It means that you slow down, instead of speed up, your emotional reactivity. If you
are angry, for example, you don’t come in with a “Hey! Now! Listen to me! You’re such
a slob!”, kind of approach.

Become proactive, and wait it out. Don’t express what you have on your mind right off
the bat and lash out at your guy.

If you are lazy, it means that you aren’t too motivated to immediately make a huge
scene out of it, but you’d rather sit back and relax for a bit, and it means that even if
things are intense, you still laze around, emotionally.
Why?

Again, because doing this, signals to your man that you aren’t going to GIVE him the
power, to begin with. The only time a man ever gains power over you, is if you allow
him to do that emotionally, by giving him the time, emotional energy, attention, and
everything else that comes along with it.

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Take that away, and you’ll see your man moving quickly after that to listen to you
again, because you would have effectively taken back the power, and furthermore,
you would have REMOVED the power struggle.

How did you do that? You did it by making your man the ONLY person in the
relationship who is struggling. It means that HE would be the only one still fighting,
still going to extremes, still being a huge whiny baby… and that would make him look
ridiculous.

That alone, makes a man quickly change the tune he is dancing to, because every
single man wants to live up to a certain standard and level of self-respect, and
external respect. Being the only one freaking out in the relationship, and being the
only one who is acting immature, means that your man would be setting himself up
for a huge embarrassment, and worse, he is setting himself up to be wrong.

In that situation, your man would have no choice but to calm down and finally come
back down to earth, where you and the relationship exist, in an equal opportunity
reality.

Making These Steps Work:

After this point, it will be up to you, to gauge and decide where each step above
belongs, and therefore, should be implemented. This means, that you will have to
work out, the severity of the behaviour against how immediately you need a change
to occur.

As you noticed in step #2, for example, there were two ways to go about handling the
level of severity. One of them imposed a light condition whereas the other method
imposed a very clear demand and boundary. That, again, all depends on how
immediate you feel your need for change is, and on how severe you feel his behaviour
is.

Therefore, be careful to use your own discretion in using these steps, to apply the
right level of impatience to the situation, so that you get the desired result from your
man.

You may notice, however, that after just implementing step #1, or after implementing
the first two steps together, that your man may begin to misbehave more. It should be

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noted that you don’t actually want to give in to him during this stage, and you
definitely don’t want to stop this step because of that fact.

This may sound strange, but if your man is misbehaving more, or if he is actively
trying to punish you, after the implementation of step # 1 or #2, or both steps
combined, that this ESPECIALLY means that the steps are working.

As mentioned in Step #3, your man will sometimes have a power struggle issue, as he
tries to adjust to reality, where he is required to treat you like an equal partner in the
relationship. Remember that up until this point, your man has been sitting on a high
pedestal, one that, depending on the timeframe in which it was first resurrected, could
have been getting higher and higher for quite some time now.

Once you implement step #1, and 2, however, you would have effectively knocked out
one of the legs of his pedestal, which in turn made the whole thing come crashing
down, due to a lack of balance.

In this situation, therefore, it’s important not to listen to any of your man’s whining,
pleading, complaining, or more. It really doesn’t matter, at this stage, again, what it is
that your man tries to tell you. He could threaten you, or he could throw a fit. He
could even have the temper tantrum of a century, but you must not budge.

The only reason he is trying to get you to budge at this stage, once again, is because
he NEEDS you to re-validate ALL of the WRONG behaviours again. He wants the
admiration, respect, and attention that he used to get, because he gained a feeling of
power, when you would ultimately reward him that way, whenever he did all of the
wrong things around you.

This is why it’s important to follow step #3, during, and even after the fact, of the first
two steps. This ensures that you are able to recognize the fact that your man is in fact
having a temper tantrum, and thus you don’t fear that reality, and instead, just
disregard it as your man being extremely unreasonable.

Again, he follows your lead, so if you become unreasonable as well, and give in to his
whiny or excessive emotional outbursts prematurely, it means that you are effectively
telling him again that it’s ok to be unreasonable.

You have to be reasonable, sometimes, on behalf of both yourself and your man, in

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the relationship, to help pull your man back into that reality as well. Again, sometimes
you also have to be a little impatient, to get back to a place of being able to be patient
with your man.

Once more, you also are not doing this just simply to punish your man, and you aren’t
getting direct like this, for no reason either. Remember to remind yourself of the
reasons why you are doing this, during the moments when you are taking action, so
that you don’t lose hope, or give in to your fears and doubts prematurely, before he
has actually permanently changed.

If your man, for example, starts throwing a temper tantrum right in the middle of the
first two steps, you will obviously feel a strong pull to stop your behaviour, because
you will feel like he is punishing you. You must push past this reality, because again,
you are actually NOT at fault here, and are not doing something wrong.

If anything you are being reasonable. You are giving him more than enough time,
understanding, and even ways to do the right thing, but time and time again, your
man comes back and disappoints you.

Thus, you should not feel guilty in asking him for what is only fair, in the first place, in
your relationship, and in your life. Remember that you deserve to be treated fairly, and
that it is completely OK to ask for this, and to get it from your man, and your
relationship, even if that means becoming a little impatient at times, to ensure that
your man respects this reality.

It’s important to also note and remember once again, that a man follows your lead.
This means that you ultimately allow or deny him the permission in the first place to
treat you a certain way. Thus, if a man is treating you with a less than worthy
approach, it is your job to whole heartedly put your foot down in the right way.

Remember however, that men don’t listen to your words as much as they listen to
your actions. You will feel tempted to want to talk things out extensively with your
man, and you will wish that he will just listen the first time, but sometimes a man
needs a little bit of a more clear boundary to be drawn, to fully understand the fact
that you are serious, or that you are not going to waver on your core needs or wants.

It’s important to also understand that a great deal of men are actually O.K. with this

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reality, and they’d rather you be extremely clear, in your actions and words combined,
rather than just in your words.

Remember that men are heavy logical thinkers, and problem solvers, which means
that they will be looking, and even testing you, to see if you are doing what you are
saying. If you start to become a woman who says one thing, but does another,
especially when it comes to your own boundaries and how far you let others cross
them, a man will begin a pattern where he starts to disrespect your needs and wants.

Why do men begin that pattern?

Again, because in their mind, the evidence equates to a reality where they feel like
you have ultimately given them permission to disrespect your boundaries, and desires,
because you are not matching up your actions consistently to your words.

This is why it’s extremely important to not fear the Impatience Rule as a tactic overall.
This rule, when used, will give you a fair advantage in your relationship, especially
when you need it most.

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