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 Verses marked niv are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copy-
right © 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Verses marked kjv are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
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of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189. All rights reserved.
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Cover by Koechel Peterson & Associates, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Cover photo: Tom Henry / Koechel Peterson & Associates, Inc.
Published in association with the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200,
Colorado Springs, CO 80920.

THE POWER OF BEING A WOMAN

Formerly The Power of Femininity
Copyright © 1999/2004 by Michelle McKinney Hammond
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-4015-6 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-4015-3 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
McKinney Hammond, Michelle, 1957–
The power of being a woman / Michelle McKinney Hammond.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-7369-1249-5
1. Christian women—Religious life.   2. African American women—Religious life.
3. Women in the Bible—Biography.   I. Title.
BV4527.M419  2004
248.8’43—DC22 2004002117

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or trans-
mitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other—
except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Printed in the United States of America
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Power of Being a Woman 4/3/14 4:08 PM Page 3

To my mother,
Norma McKinney,
who taught me, by example, to rejoice in being a woman.
Not only did you fill my life with all the wonders of
femininity, but you gave me the precious gift
of sharing my life with many mothers.

The women in my family are

each extraordinary in their own right.
They have reflected the beauty, the grace,
and the triumph of the feminine spirit to me,
a little girl who watched them all in wonder.
I pray that I have become
a composite of the best parts of them all.
Alexandra Petrona Branker
Sarah Ayodele Sam
Charity Hammond
Eglantine White
Ernesta Forde
Marion Arkaah
Anna Efua Hammond
I love you all.

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Acknowledgments
To my Harvest House family—thank you for laboring with
me. Bob Hawkins, Jr., LaRae Weikert, Barb Gordon,
as well as all who work to bring my books to life and
make them reach the world.
I appreciate you more than words can say.

Nicole—thank you for being there.

You are such a great sister. I’m so proud of the
wife and mother you are.
I love you so much!

Sheila—keep me straight, girl.

Sophia—keep fussing. Ha ha!
Stacey—keep telling me the truth.
Nana—keep me focused.
Amanda—keep being a calming force.
Charlotte, Karen, Michelle, Brenda, Theresa—
keep supporting me and asking the hard questions.
Keep the laughter coming.
What women!
You make me celebrate sisterhood all the more!

Jeff Morrow, Bill Trammell, Derek Tripplett, Kevin Whalum,

Dwayne Bryant, and Pastor Ghandi—
my precious buds, protectors and confidants.
What can I say? Thanks for affirming that being a
for-real woman is a good thing!

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Contents
A Note from the Author

1. Woman to Woman
9

2. Back to Basics
17

3. Taking the Lead

51

4. ’Bout Birthin’ Babies

83

5. It’s a Sister Thing

113

6. How to Build Your House

145

7. The Strength of Vulnerability

175

8. The Power of Influence

209

9. Going over His Head

239

10. An Ounce of Praise

267

11. The Reward of Virtue

303

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A Note from the Author

Relationships between men and women—both platonic and
romantic—are in trouble. It is as if all the actors in the play of
love have forgotten their lines and staging directions. What was
supposed to be a classic romance has turned into a tragedy with
all of the players doing nothing more than stepping on one
another’s toes and limping offstage to their respective dressing
rooms. The audience is left confused, while the actors themselves
are befuddled as to what really happened.
The popular theater line, “There are no small parts, only small
actors,” seems appropriate here. Men and women are different
and were created so deliberately by God. Yet present-day moral
issues and the fight for equal rights have left most men and women
confused about who they are, where they fit, and what they mean
to one another. Women have felt devalued and powerless. This
causes them to embrace the modern-day opinion that they must
operate by male standards in order to gain respect in the world.
But the real tragedy is that the transition back to being a soft
woman after leaving the hardness of the boardroom becomes

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more and more difficult. It is safe to say many have lost their way
back to femininity.
Oh, the backlash this creates in male/female relationships!
The anxiety it causes in the spirits of women who can’t quite put
their finger on what is wrong! It’s truly overwhelming. The Power
of Being a Woman is a journey back to the basics to reclaim the
pieces of self that countless women have lost in the struggle to
validate their own sense of worth.
Through biblical insights in light of modern-day illustrations,
God’s original design for woman will be explored, thus supplying
a map “back to the garden,” so to speak. It is my prayer that this
book will liberate, heal, and release women to celebrate who they
were created to be and discover the true source of their value and
power.

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ONE

Woman to
Woman

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S omewhere between her home

and a placard demanding equal rights
she got lost
wandering past the garden
following where the serpent pointed
she turned left instead of right
and got off track…
and though the scenery looked vaguely familiar
a frown of consternation
began to crease her brow
as she realized
it was taking her
far too long
to reach her desired destination
still she determined to go
yet another mile
before turning off her chosen path
perhaps she was being too anxious…
and as she wandered
looking for a marker
to get her bearings
man wondered where she’d gone
as she ventured too far to hear
his need for her
or her children crying
and they too lost their way
trying to follow her
misled by traces of her perfume in the air
the memory of a gentle touch
an encouraging word…
a piece of fabric soft to the skin

10

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and sage advice

were found along the path
now littered with confusion
and distrust…
and as man’s shoulders began to slope in resignation
weakening his arms
causing him to abdicate his seat as protector
and her children began to find their own way
allowing new friends of rebellion
to fill the space she left behind
a cry rang out…
it filled the earth
it reached the skies
and rang throughout the heavens
“Woman, where art thou?”
“Woman, where art thou?”
“Woman, where art thou?”
it echoed off the mountaintops
and stretched across the plains
it descended throughout the valleys
this plaintive cry
mourning the absence
of this precious lost treasure
and she hearing the cry
came to a halt
not quite sure of where she stood
unable to give her location
she turned looking for her own
footprints in the sand
only to find shallow remembrances
of where she had been

11

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and somewhere between her struggle to recall her true identity

and the place of her restoration
she saw visions of a man with sad eyes
longing for her love
praying for her return
and children
with their arms outstretched
crying for her wisdom to save them
but she had grown weary from the journey…
sadness rooting her to the spot
depression bowing her
into herself
she succumbed to her fatigue
sinking into a deep and fitful sleep…
and in the distance
the ring of hammers
began hesitantly
building
and building again
until it reverberated
through the land…
its sharp rhythm piercing the hearts of men
awakening sleeping women
and frustrated children
as wanted signs were posted
by determined hands
in search of the vanishing woman…

12

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L adies, can we talk? Talk about why women are frustrated

and men are confused? Talk about where we lost our way and
what that really means? Talk about where all the good men have
gone and why so many are wandering? Let’s talk about the fine
print we’ve neglected to read and how much that oversight has
cost us. About the power that we’ve thrown to the wind. About
what’s happening to our relationships. Our children. Our hearts.
Our bodies. Our souls. Let’s talk about how the art of being a
woman has become a near-extinct and priceless treasure. And
how those who stumble across it treat it as an antique they don’t
know the value of—tossing it aside, preferring the newer, more
streamlined, cheaper model of so-called liberation. Funny how
we never realize the value of Grandma’s brass bed until we get
older and find out how much others were willing to pay for what
we so easily discarded.
As creation longs for the original plan of peaceful coexis-
tence, the groans of weary women have come before the throne
of God. The vicious cycle of men abdicating, women rising up,
men fleeing, and women becoming embittered, hardened, and
hopeless has tainted society and caused wonderment in the
heavens. The lines are invisibly drawn, silently proclaiming war.

13

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14 THE POWER OF BEING A WOMAN

Romance lies trampled underfoot and understanding lies shat-

tered beneath hurled insults and accusations.
Ladies, can we talk? I mean talk without pretense, posturing,
or qualifying. After all, real life is not a talk show. I often wonder
if anyone is really tuned in to real life. I wonder if anyone is really
seeing what we’re doing to one another. How we’re robbing one
another. Hurting one another. Killing one another. The golden
rule of “love your neighbor as you love yourself” has been broken,
snapped over the knees of those determined to seize what they
want in blind frustration with total disregard for the whole pic-
ture. Can we talk about getting off the merry-go-round? Can we
talk woman-to-woman about how we’ve “lost it” and how to get
“it” back?
Can we talk about calling a truce with one another—with
our men—and finding ourselves again? Let’s talk about acknowl-
edging and learning to celebrate this simple fact—men and
women are different. I long for all women to sink back into the
glorious place of truly being women in the same way I long for a
hot bath when all of my muscles are screaming. The warmth of
the water closes over my limbs like a liquid blanket, wrapping
itself around me, becoming intimate with every part of me. I do
not recoil from this. Rather, I embrace it because it sets me free
from pain, free from the struggle I’ve endured all day long. It
defies my further efforts to stay afloat all by myself in the world.
It gently invites me to let go. Let go of all I think I should be. Let
go of the demands of others. Let go and just be. Just be a woman.
Naked and unashamed. Warm and soft. Content in my liquid
cocoon. Relaxed and unthreatened. Just a woman—lost in the
oasis of being me. Ladies, can we talk—I mean really talk—about
where we went wrong? Can we talk without shouting?

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Woman to Woman 15

“I am woman, hear me roar…” Well, I don’t know about you,

but I don’t want to roar or go to war! I believe I can speak in a
normal tone and still be heard. That I can stand perfectly still and
manage to get things done. That I can influence rather than pro-
voke, inspire rather than challenge. That I can affect a nation
from my home. That I can move mountains with my faith. Why?
Because God said so! Yes, girlfriend, it’s time to get this thing
right, not just for the sake of your own joy level but also for the
peaceful state of that which emanates from your personal
kingdom, your home, your job, your church, your community,
your city, your state, your nation. Your stake in eternity. Your
investment in God’s economy. You see, for every action you can
expect a reaction, like a pebble tossed in a pond that causes rip-
ples far beyond you. So pull up a chair and sit down, honeychile.
It’s time to talk—woman-to-woman.

Dear Heavenly Father, there are so many voices with various
expectations filling my world. Sometimes I find myself
confused and even frustrated in my search to establish who I
really am. Help me to remember that You hold the key to my
true identity. You created me to be a valuable addition to
mankind and a living expression and example of Your heart.
Blot out the lies the enemy tries to plant in my soul to
devalue me. As I cling to the truth from Your Word that tells
me I am “fearfully and wonderfully made,” a woman on
purpose, let the revelation of what that truly means saturate
my being, releasing me to celebrate my womanhood and to
rejoice in the gift I am to the world. Help me to resonate with

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16 THE POWER OF BEING A WOMAN

a sense of divine purpose. Grant me the confidence to walk

in Your original design for my life. Restore to me the gift of
my femininity and help me to harbor it as a treasure in my
heart. As I release it like a heady perfume from the inner
sanctum of my spirit, use it to heal others around me as I
touch them with my special brand of softness. And I will
always be mindful to give the glory back to You as You exhibit
Your love through my arms to liberate others to be all You
created them to be. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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