Darleen A.

Tapia CAS-06-502A

Major Depressive Disorder

Case study / Thought paper #2

Are we really aware of what depression looks like? Do we really distinguish

depression from someone we think is strong enough to handle her emotions but
hides her/his hardships through resilience for the sake of his/her own family?
According to the case study I read, Janet is a divorcee and has three children and
she has experienced marital issues and blamed herself for believing that she’s the
reason why their marriage failed. If I put myself into her shoes, I feel like I also
experienced that kind of pain, the way I know how it feels to fall apart while handling
your own family, though I don’t have my own family but I always blame myself if I
experience failures. However, I could not really describe her pain but all I know is
how I could make her feel better or how I could make someone feel better if they are
in pain or agony.

Extreme independence is what my parents taught when I was young, and in this
case her dependency with her husband goes out-of-hand and this is the scariest part
of someone who’s all in life believes that they could just lean to someone they call
“constant”, but I don’t believe that everybody will stay in your life through the end.
“You're own your own, kid” is what they always taught me and I don’t know if it is a
good or bad idea to be that kind of independent person but sometimes it is
misunderstood. I defined myself as an independent person but honestly, I have
difficulties in seeking help from others because I am not taught to ask for help, all I
know is to help others. In terms of relationships, I also see myself with Janet,
however, I know how to control my impulsiveness with having a romantic relationship
with a man but I don’t blame her for being impulsive in her actions, she thought if she
rushed romantic relationships, it would just be constant. We should always
remember that it is fine that we take care of others but we should always prioritize
ourselves but in her case, I understand that she can’t really put herself first because
of her own children. It was a mother's instinct to always nurture her children with
endless love. I appreciate mothers that are giving their all to her children at her
expense.

Support System from Family and Friends

I am convinced that if we were feeling down, happy, anxious or anything that

you’re feeling we should always have what we call a support system. Support
systems are easy or difficult for others to seek. It is easy because you have the
ability to create your support system just like having a family, best friends or a
partner in life, or maybe just a pet that can ease your mood. The reason why Janet
suddenly burst her emotions is because of lack of intimate relationships with her
friends but it is not intentional that she cut it off, it is just that she’s too preoccupied
dealing with her own problems or trauma. It is also highly encouraged that we all
have a social support system because it benefits our psychological health. The first
that we all crave for is emotional support and not everyone is capable of giving it to
someone. We all need someone that would still be there for us whether in success,
chaos or doubt in life. Maybe they couldn’t help you literally but having someone that
you could just vent out everything is a blessing. Though in Janet’s case, she seeks
medication and therapy but we all know that not everyone can afford high
maintenance sessions.

Deeply Loving Yourself

Everytime we fall in love with someone, we unintentionally neglect our own self
such as prioritizing someone’s need instead of ourselves. Craving someone’s
attention and love is the reason why they’re getting into a relationship, and
sometimes that’s the love you never received when you are young and you seek it
from others. I’ve read some random insights from social media pertaining that
self-love isn’t always easy when all of your life revolves around or you always
depend on someone. Janet’s failure of marriage deeply affects her mental health and
that’s the inevitable thing from someone who only revolves her world with her
husband. Possessing various unpleasant feelings like hatred, disdain, and envy can
be detrimental. We need to develop the ability to embrace all of our feelings,
including those that lead to fear, uncertainty, and wrath as well as those that foster
love, joy, and happiness in our life.If we will learn to love and care for ourselves, we
will also learn how to love the people around us. It is challenging to accept the pain
and move on with your life, however, if we would just stay where we are (lowest), we
wouldn’t realize what the future awaits for you, that life doesn’t end just because you
became a divorcee. It is also a beginning to look forward to your own life with your
own family and friends.

Always remember that love is a choice, and not a constant feeling, and we all
have the potential to control what we feel like how we chose hatred, sadness and
happiness. The way Janet believes in herself and nourishes her environment with
love and care with her family, it becomes her choice to be happy and start a new
journey with them. It is a choice she chooses consistently (like she wants to fix her
own issues), sometimes it also becomes a feeling.

I will always choose myself for the sake of peace of mind because I’ve seen
people fall apart when they depend too much on someone.The way I look at extreme
independence as a response is a good thing because I don’t really rely with the help
of others, instead I will always look for a solution before I ask for help with someone.
I’ve also learned that being a mother is a difficult role because they are always the
one left behind with children, and children should have a nourishing environment
from their parents. Unfortunately, being a single parent is also exhausting because
you’re just the one left with responsibilities.