This document discusses both sides of the argument about whether employees should change jobs or remain in their current roles. Some reasons presented for not changing jobs include the difficulties of finding a new job with adequate pay and the challenges of integrating into a new corporate culture. However, changing jobs can provide benefits such as higher salaries, learning new skills outside one's comfort zone, and creating new job opportunities. Overall, while changing jobs has drawbacks, the long-term benefits for workers, companies, and society outweigh these challenges.
This document discusses both sides of the argument about whether employees should change jobs or remain in their current roles. Some reasons presented for not changing jobs include the difficulties of finding a new job with adequate pay and the challenges of integrating into a new corporate culture. However, changing jobs can provide benefits such as higher salaries, learning new skills outside one's comfort zone, and creating new job opportunities. Overall, while changing jobs has drawbacks, the long-term benefits for workers, companies, and society outweigh these challenges.
This document discusses both sides of the argument about whether employees should change jobs or remain in their current roles. Some reasons presented for not changing jobs include the difficulties of finding a new job with adequate pay and the challenges of integrating into a new corporate culture. However, changing jobs can provide benefits such as higher salaries, learning new skills outside one's comfort zone, and creating new job opportunities. Overall, while changing jobs has drawbacks, the long-term benefits for workers, companies, and society outweigh these challenges.
This document discusses both sides of the argument about whether employees should change jobs or remain in their current roles. Some reasons presented for not changing jobs include the difficulties of finding a new job with adequate pay and the challenges of integrating into a new corporate culture. However, changing jobs can provide benefits such as higher salaries, learning new skills outside one's comfort zone, and creating new job opportunities. Overall, while changing jobs has drawbacks, the long-term benefits for workers, companies, and society outweigh these challenges.
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Task 2: Some think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should
because it brings advantages for themselves, the company, and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People’s opinions differ as to whether or not employees should settle with their current jobs (while this does present the two sides, it is not very descriptive of the reasons, especially of the side that supports changing jobs). Whilst there are some strong arguments against the decisions about resigning from their position, I still believe that it is a necessary action of working life. (You have introduced this like an opinion essay, but it is not. Please see my feedback for the preferred introduction format)
One the one hand, Tthere are two main reasons why people might argue that changing job employment is an unnecessary action. Firstly, nowadays, after leaving their job, people are unlikely to immediately find suitable work with adequate income to afford for their living costs. Secondly, it may takes a long time to completely integrate into a new working environment. In fact, coperate corporate cultures over companies are totally differ differ greatly between companies and it may simply not be in line with their personal values and beliefs.
In spite of the above arguments, I support the view that (your opinion should not be here, I will explain why in the feedback) the benefit beneficial effects of it ranging from workers and the firms to socitety society is are considerable. In terms of workforce, by seeking new jobs, they may well be attain the opportunities to earn a higher salary. For instance, according to Bloomberg, those who choose to switch jobs enjoyed an increase in pay of around 5%. MoroverMoreover, when people start a new job, they are pushed out of their comfort zone as well as are forced to learn new skills. No matter how good their current job is, these are the kind of skills that can only be learnt from entering a new work situation. As regards employers, although in the short term, it probably takes time for them to train the new one hire, they will gain more advantage later. It is clearly to recognize recognizable that newcomers of the companies usually work with more enthusiasm than others and sometimes they will generate new ideas which in turn accelerate the working process. Finally, by starting a new position, workers help society create new job vacancies for unexperience inexperienced workers, especially recent graduates.
In conclusion, changing jobs certainly has its drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits outweigh them in the long term. (This conclusion format is not correct either, see my feedback)
Grade
Task Response 6 250 -320 words
326 all parts of the topic are responded to well all parts of the question are responded to well Try to get a more even balance in the coverage of each side of the argument. The body paragraphs should be roughly the same size, as you should be saying a similar amount about each side of the argument.
This task has 3 main parts – you should argue the two points from a neutral perspective, and then give your opinion in the conclusion. By adding your opinion into one of the body paragraphs, you run the risk of missing one of the 3 parts. It also lessens the development of your opinion, as it is really just “other people’s” opinion. Your opinion should have some personal justification, after all, you may agree with some aspects of both sides.
main ideas are clear
explanation/examples of main ideas are clear
Cohesion and 6 good overall structure
Coherence the first paragraph clearly introduces the essay Your final sentence of the introduction makes it seem like the essay is about your opinion only but you are asked to write about both views and give your opinion. You should write something like " This essay discusses both sides of this argument and then I will give my own opinion".
topic sentences introduce paragraphs well / clear central topic
these should not include your opinion for this style of essay paragraph development is logical
Vocabulary 7 x appropriate word choices / control of word endings/forms
Errors and changes are highlighted in yellow
spelling
repetition is avoided
Grammar 6 errors Errors and changes are highlighted in green
The question has three requirements. You must discuss each side of the argument from a neutral point of view and then give your opinion, which is your view on the argument. In order to score a six and above you need to make sure you meet all three requirements of the question. To get to 7 you must answer all three requirements fully.
A typical error that students make is to not say sufficient about their opinion. One sentence that is opinion related in the conclusion is clearly not enough to get to 7.
Remember this is a both sides + opinion essay. It is a different type to an opinion essay.
With the rephrasing or paraphrase of the topic you must capture the essence of the two sides. The specific statement that is about to be discussed refers to the two sides so it is essential that these are correctly transcribed into your general statement.
With the specific statement, you need to say what the essay is about
This sentence can always be written the same for every question of this type, as follows:
This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective which is (STATE BRIEF SUMMARY OF YOUR OPINION). Nothing more is required in the introduction. You should try to memorize a sentence like this for this type of essay because you will be able to write it very quickly and without any errors with vocabulary and grammar. The introduction for this type of essay is the easiest of the three types of essays. If you want to use a slightly different sentence:
The purpose of this essay is to analyze both sides of this
argument and then I will give my own perspective which is (NOW STATE A BRIEF SUMMARY OF YOUR OPINION).
“This essay discusses both sides of this argument and why I
believe that [your opinion].”
After you have written the introduction, you will need exactly two body paragraphs. You want a paragraph for each side of the argument. I suggest putting exactly two main points in each paragraph. A good paragraph should only have one main idea. The main idea of each paragraph is the side of the argument that it is focused on. After this you have two main points to support each side. You can then support each of these main points by explaining it or giving an example to illustrate it. In order to keep the size of your essay manageable, you might choose to have a major and minor point in each paragraph. The major point may use three sentences and the minor point 2 sentences. For instance, you might use this structure:
S1 topic sentence: make it clear which side of the argument you are discussing
s2: make the first main point
s3: explain the main point
s4: give an example to illustrate the main point
s5: make a second main point
s6: explain or give an example to illustrate the second main point
Each body paragraph should start with a topic sentence. The topic sentence should make it clear to the reader which side of the argument the paragraph is about. For example:
There are merits of schools only focusing on preparing young people for their working lives. Giving your opinion, which happens in the conclusion
You should always signal the start of your concluding paragraph to the reader by using the words "In conclusion". Do not write "to summarise" or similar to begin this paragraph as you are not doing this; you are giving your own opinion. For this type of essay you should follow this with a phrase to make it clear that this final paragraph is about your opinion ….I believe. Generally, your opinion can consist of three parts. The first part states that there are merits of both sides of the argument, which makes sense given that you have discussed these in the body of your essay. Second, you should give your opinion on the argument. The best way to do this is to say which side you support more strongly. Third, you should give a justification for your opinion. In other words, you should state the reason why you more strongly support this side of the argument.
Essentially the structure is as follows:
1. Signal the start of your final paragraph.
2. State that both sides of the argument have merits.
3. Say which side you support more strongly.
4. Give a justification for supporting this side more strongly.
I recommend that each of these elements is related to your opinion. The following is the recommended format to achieve this.
In conclusion, I believe both sides have merit. On balance, it is my opinion that ---------- (add a full stop and start a new sentence) This is because it is my firm belief ………………………………… as I feel that………………
I have highlighted the opinion comments so there is no misunderstanding.
