It looked like a good thing; but wait till I Bill and me figured that Ebenezer would melt

tell you. We were down South, in Alabama- down for a ransom of two thousand dollars to
Bill Driscoll and myself-when this kidnapping a cent. But wait till I tell you.
idea struck us. It was, as Bill afterward About two miles from Summit was a little
expressed it, "during a moment of temporary mountain, covered with a dense cedar brake. 6
mental apparition"; 1 but we didn't find that On the rear elevation of this mountain was a
out till later. cave. There we stored provisions.
There was a town down there, as flat as One evening after sundown, we drove in a
a flannel-cake, and called Summit, of course. buggy past old Dorset's house. The kid was in
It contained inhabitants of as undeleterious 2 the street, throwing rocks at a kitten on the
and self-satisfied a class of peasantry as ever opposite fence.
clustered around a Maypole. "Hey, little boy!" says Bill, "would you like
Bill and me had a joint capital of about six to have a bag of candy and a nice ride?"
hundred dollars, and we needed just two The boy catches Bill neatly in the eye with a
thousand dollars more to pull off a fraudulent piece of brick.
town-lot scheme in Western Illinois. We talked "That will cost the old man an extra five
it over on the front steps of the hotel. hundred dollars," says Bill, climbing over
Philoprogenitiveness, 3 says we, is strong in the wheel.
semi-rural communities; therefore, and for That boy put up a fight like a welterweight
other reasons, a kidnapping project ought to cinnamon bear; but, at last, we got him down
do better there than in the radius 4 of in the bottom of the buggy and drove away. We
newspapers that send reporters out in plain took him up to the cave, and I hitched the horse
clothes to stir up talk about such things. We in the cedar brake. After dark I drove the buggy
knew that Summit couldn't get after us with to the little village, three miles away, where we
anything stronger than constables and, maybe, had hired it, and walked back to the mountain.
some lackadaisical bloodhounds and a diatribe Bill was pasting court plaster 7 over the
or two in the Weekly Farmers' Budget. So, it scratches and bruises on his features.
looked good.
1. apparition (ap';}·rlsh';m): a sudden or unusual sight;
Bill meant an "aberration," a moving away from the
normal to the atypical.

W
e selected for our victim the only child
2. undeleterious (i:in-del'!-t!r'e·;}s): harmless.
of a prominent citizen named 3. philoprogenitiveness (fll' o-pro-jen'!-tlv·n;}s): love for
Ebenezer Dorset. The father was one's own children.
respectable and tight, a mortgage fancier and 4. radius: range or area.
a stern, upright collection plate passer and 5. bas-relief (ba'r!-lef'): slightly raised; a kind of sculpture
carved so that figures stand out only slightly from the
forecloser. The kid was a boy of ten, with
background's flat surface.
bas-relief5 freckles and hair the color of the 6. brake: a thick grouping of trees or undergrowth.
cover of the magazine you buy at the 7. court plaster: adhesive cloth for covering superficial cuts
newsstand when you want to catch a train. or scratches on the skin, used in the 18th century.

W 0 RD s diatribe (di'a-trib') n. condemnation; bitter, abusive criticism

To ransom (ran'sam) n. a price or a payment demanded in return for the release
KNow of property or a person
71
 There was a fire burning behind the big rock in this cave? Amos Murray has got six toes.
at the entrance of the cave, and the boy was A parrot can talk, but a monkey or a fish can't.
watching a pot of boiling coffee, with two How many does it take to make twelve?"
buzzard tail feathers stuck in his red hair. Every few minutes he would remember that
He points a stick at me when I come up, and he was an Indian, and pick up his stick rifle
says: "Ha! cursed paleface, do you dare to enter and tiptoe to the mouth of the cave to search
the camp of Red Chief, the terror of the plains?" for the scouts of the hated paleface. Now and
"He's all right now," says Bill, rolling up his then he would let out a war whoop that made
trousers and examining some bruises on his Old Hank the Trapper shiver. That boy had
shins. "We're playing Indian. We're making Bill terrorized from the start.
Buffalo Bill's show look like magic-lantern "Red Chief," says I to the kid, "would you
views 8 of Palestine in the town hall. I'm Old like to go home?"
Hank, the Trapper, Red Chief's captive, and "Aw, what for?" says he. "I don't have any
I'm to be scalped at daybreak. By Geronimo! fun at home. I hate to go to school. I like to
that kid can kick hard." camp out. You won't take me back home
again, Snake-eye, will you?"
"Not right away," says I. "We'll stay here in
es, sir, that boy seemed to be having the the cave awhile."
time of his life. The fun of camping out "All right!" says he. "That'll be fine. I never
in a cave had made him forget that he had such fun in all my life."
was a captive himself. He immediately We went to bed about eleven o'clock. We
christened me Snake-eye, the Spy, and spread down some wide blankets and quilts and
announced that when his braves returned from put Red Chief between us. We weren't afraid
the warpath, I was to be broiled at the stake at he'd run away. He kept us awake for three
the rising of the sun. hours, jumping up and reaching for his rifle and
Then we had supper; and he filled his mouth screeching: "Hist! pard," in mine and Bill's ears,
full of bacon and bread and gravy and began as the fancied crackle of a twig or the rustle of
to talk. He made a during-dinner speech a leaf revealed to his young imagination the
something like this: stealthy approach of the outlaw band. At last,
"I like this fine. I never camped out before; I fell into a troubled sleep, and dreamed that I
but I had a pet possum once, and I was nine had been kidnapped and chained to a tree by a
last birthday. I hate to go to school. Rats ate up ferocious pirate with red hair.
sixteen of Jimmy Talbot's aunt's speckled hen's Just at daybreak, I was awakened by a series
eggs. Are there any real Indians in these woods? of awful screams from Bill. They weren't yells,
I want some more gravy. Does the trees moving or howls, or shouts, or whoops, or yawps,
make the wind blow? We had five puppies. such as you'd expect from a manly set of vocal
What makes your nose so red, Hank? My organs-they were simply indecent, terrifying,
father has lots of money. Are the stars hot?
I whipped Ed Walker twice, Saturday. I don't
8. magic-lantern views: slides. A magic lantern was an early
like girls. You dassent 9 catch toads unless with slide projector used to show an enlarged image of a
a string. Do oxen make any noise? Why are picture, popular in the 19th century.
oranges round? Have you got beds to sleep on 9. dassent: dare not.

72 UNIT ONE PART 1: UNDERSTANDING RELATIONSHIPS

The Birthplace of Herbert Hoover (1931 ), Grant Wood. Collection of the Minneapolis Institute of Arts, jointly owned with the
Des Moines (Iowa) Art Center. Copyright© Estate of Grant Wood/Licensed by VAGA, New York, NY.

humiliating screams, such as women emit the sun. I wasn't nervous or afraid; but I sat
when they see caterpillars. It's an awful thing up and leaned against a rock.
to hear a strong, desperate, fat man scream "What you getting up so soon for, Sam?"
incontinently in a cave at daybreak. asked Bill.
I jumped up to see what the matter was. "Me?" says I. "Oh, I got a kind of pain in
Red Chief was sitting on Bill's chest, with one my shoulder. I thought sitting up would rest it."
hand twined in Bill's hair. In the other he had "You're a liar!" says Bill. "You're afraid.
the sharp case knife we used for slicing bacon; You was to be burned at sunrise, and you was
and he was industriously and realistically afraid he'd do it. And he would, too, if he
trying to take Bill's scalp, according to the could find a match. Ain't it awful, Sam?
sentence that had been pronounced upon him Do you think anybody will pay out money
the evening before. to get a little imp like that back home?"
I got the knife away from the kid and made "Sure," said I. "A rowdy kid like that is just
him lie down again. But, from that moment, the kind that parents dote on. Now, you and the
Bill's spirit was broken. He laid down on his Chief get up and cook breakfast, while I go up
side of the bed, but he never closed an eye on the top of this mountain and reconnoiter."
again in sleep as long as that boy was with us. I went up on the peak of the little mountain
I dozed off for a while, but along toward and ran my eye over the contiguous vicinity.
sunup I remembered that Red Chief had said I Over toward Summit I expected to see the
was to be burned at the stake at the rising of sturdy yeomanry of the village armed with

THE RANSOM OF RED CHIEF 73

scythes and pitchforks beating the countryside Jane or one of the neighbors. Anyhow, he'll be
for the dastardly kidnappers. But what I saw missed today. Tonight we must get a message
was a peaceful landscape dotted with one man to his father demanding the two thousand
plowing with a dun mule. Nobody was dollars for his return."
dragging the creek; no couriers dashed hither Just then we heard a kind of war whoop,
and yon, bringing tidings of no news to the such as David might have emitted when he
distracted parents. There was a sylvan attitude knocked out the champion Goliath. It was a
of somnolent sleepiness pervading that section sling that Red
of the external outward surface of Alabama But we've Chief had pulled
that lay exposed to my view. "Perhaps," says I out of his pocket,
to myself, "it has not yet been discovered that got to fix and he was
the wolves have borne away the tender lambkin whirling it around
from the fold. Heaven help the wolves!" says I, up some his head.
and I went down the mountain to breakfast.
When I got to the cave, I found Bill backed
plan about I dodged, and
heard a heavy
up against the side of it, breathing hard, and
the boy threatening to smash him with a rock
the ransom. thud and a kind
of a sigh from
half as big as a coconut. Bill, like a horse
"He put a red-hot boiled potato down my gives out when
back," explained Bill, "and then mashed it you take his
with his foot; and I boxed his ears. Have you saddle off. A rock the size of an egg had
got a gun about you, Sam?" caught Bill just behind his left ear.
I took the rock away from the boy and kind He loosened himself all over and fell in the fire
of patched up the argument. "I'll fix you," says across the frying pan of hot water for washing
the kid to Bill. "No man ever yet struck the Red the dishes. I dragged him out and poured cold
Chief but he got paid for it. You better beware!" water on his head for half an hour.
By and by, Bill sits up and feels behind his
ear and says: "Sam, do you know who my
fter breakfast the kid takes a piece of favorite Biblical character is?"
leather with strings wrapped around it "Take it easy," says I. "You'll come to your
out of his pocket and goes outside the senses presently."
cave unwinding it. "King Herod," 10 says he. "You won't go
"What's he up to now?" says Bill, anxiously. away and leave me here alone, will you, Sam?"
"You don't think he'll run away, do you, Sam?" I went out and caught that boy and shook
"No fear of it," says I. "He don't seem to be him until his freckles rattled.
much of a homebody. But we've got to fix up "If you don't behave," says I, "I'll take you
some plan about the ransom. There don't seem straight home. Now, are you going to be good,
to be much excitement around Summit on or not?"
account of his disappearance; but maybe they
10. King Herod: Herod ruled Judea from 37 B.C. to 4 B.C.,
haven't realized yet that he's gone. His folks and at one point ordered the execution of all boys in
may think he's spending the night with Aunt Bethlehem younger than two years old (Matthew 2:16).

WORDS
TO pervade (par-vad') v. to be spread or to be present throughout
KNOW
74
 "I was only funning," says he, sullenly.
"I didn't mean to hurt Old Hank. But what
did he hit me for? I'll behave, Snake-eye, if you
won't send me home and if you'll let me play
the Scout today."
"I don't know the game," says I. "That's for
you and Mr. Bill to decide. He's your playmate
for the day. I'm going away for a while, on
business. Now, you come in and make friends
with him and say you are sorry for hurting
him, or home you go, at once."
I made him and Bill shake hands, and then
I took Bill aside and told him I was going to
Poplar Grove, a little village three miles from
the cave, and find out what I could about how
the kidnapping had been regarded in Summit.
Also, I thought it best to send a peremptory
letter to old man Dorset that day, demanding
the ransom and dictating how it should be paid.
"You know, Sam," says Bill, "I've stood by
you without batting an eye in earthquakes,
fire, and flood-in poker games, dynamite
outrages, police raids, train robberies, and
cyclones. I never lost my nerve yet till we
kidnapped that two-legged skyrocket of a kid.
He's got me going. You won't leave me long
with him, will you, Sam?"
"I'll be back sometime this afternoon," says

J
I. "You must keep the boy amused and quiet I
till I return. And now we'll write the letter to tr-=- •
old Dorset."
Bill and I got paper and pencil and worked I
on the letter while Red Chief, with a blanket
wrapped around him, strutted up and down, (
guarding the mouth of the cave. Bill begged
me tearfully to make the ransom fifteen
hundred dollars instead of two thousand.
\l ........
.,.,-·
"I ain't attempting," says he, "to decry 11 the
celebrated moral aspect of parental affection,

11. decry: to minimize or make light of.

THE RA NSOM OF RED CHIEF 75

but we're dealing with humans, and it ain't I addressed this letter to Dorset and put it in
human for anybody to give up two thousand my pocket. As I was about to start, the kid
dollars for that forty-pound chunk of freckled comes up to me and says:
wildcat. I'm willing to take a chance at fifteen "Aw, Snake-eye, you said I could play the
hundred dollars. You can charge the difference Scout while you was gone."
up to me." "Play it, of course," says I. "Mr. Bill will
play with you. What kind of a game is it?"
"I'm the Scout," says Red Chief, "and I have

S o, to relieve Bill, I acceded, and we

collaborated a letter that ran this way:

EBENEZER DORSET, ESQ.:

to ride to the stockade to warn the settlers that
the Indians are coming. I'm tired of playing
Indian myself. I want to be the Scout."
"All right," says I. "It sounds harmless to me.
We have your boy concealed in a place far I guess Mr. Bill will help you foil the enemy."
from Summit. It is useless for you or the most "What am I to do?" asks Bill, looking at the
skillful detectives to attempt to find him. kid suspiciously.
Absolutely the only terms on which you can "You are the hoss," says Scout. "Get down
have him restored to you are these: We demand on your hands and knees. How can I ride to
fifteen hundred dollars in large bills for his the stockade without a hoss?"
return; the money to be left at midnight tonight "You'd better keep him interested," said I,
at the same spot and in the same box as your "till we get the scheme going. Loosen up."
reply-as hereinafter described. If you agree to Bill gets down on his all fours, and a look
these terms, send your answer in writing by a comes in his eye like a rabbit's when you catch
solitary messenger tonight at half-past eight it in a trap.
o'clock. After crossing Owl Creek on the road "How far is it to the stockade, kid?" he
to Poplar Grove, there are three large trees asks, in a husky manner of voice.
about a hundred yards apart, close to the fence "Ninety miles," says the Scout. "And
of the wheat field on the right-hand side. At the you have to hurry to get there on time.
bottom of the fence post, opposite the third Whoa, now!"
tree, will be found a small pasteboard box. The Scout jumps on Bill's back and digs
The messenger will place the answer in this his heels in his side.
box and return immediately to Summit. "For Heaven's sake," says Bill, "hurry back,
If you attempt any treachery or fail to Sam, as soon as you can. I wish we hadn't made
comply with our demand as stated, you will the ransom more than a thousand. Say, you quit
never see your boy again. kicking me or I'll get up and warm you good."
If you pay the money as demanded, he will I walked over to Poplar Grove and sat
be returned to you safe and well within three around the post office and store, talking with
hours. These terms are final, and if you do not the chaw-bacons that came in to trade. One
accede to them, no further communication will whiskerando says that he hears Summit is all
be attempted. upset on account of Elder Ebenezer Dorset's
TWO DESPERATE MEN boy having been lost or stolen. That was all I

WORDS
collaborate (ke-lab'e-rat) v. to work together on a project
TO
comply (kem-pli') v. to act according to a command, request, or order
KNOW
76
wanted to know. I referred casually to the "What's the trouble, Bill?" I asks him.
price of black-eyed peas, posted my letter "I was rode," says Bill, "the ninety miles to
surreptitiously and came away. The postmaster the stockade, not barring an inch. Then, when
said the mail carrier would come by in an hour the settlers was rescued, I was given oats. Sand
to take the mail to Summit. ain't a palatable substitute. And then, for an
When I got back to the cave, Bill and the hour I had to try to explain to him why there
boy were not to be found. I explored the was nothin' in holes, how a road can run both
vicinity of the cave and risked a yodel or two, ways, and what makes the grass green. I tell
but there was no response. you, Sam, a human can only stand so much.
So I sat down on a I takes him by the neck of his clothes and
I showed mossy bank to await drags him down the mountain. On the way he
developments. kicks my legs black and blue from the knees
him the road In about half an down; and I've got to have two or three bites
hour I heard the on my thumb and hand cauterized. 13
to Summit bushes rustle, and Bill "But he's gone"-continues Bill-"gone
wabbled out into the home. I showed him the road to Summit and
and kicked little glade in front of kicked him about eight feet nearer there at one
him about the cave. Behind him
was the kid, stepping
kick. I'm sorry we lose the ransom; but it was
either that or Bill Driscoll to the madhouse."
eight feet softly like a scout, Bill is puffing and blowing, but there is a
look of ineffable peace and growing content
with a broad grin on
nearer there his face. Bill stopped, on his rose-pink features.
took off his hat, and "Bill," says I, "there isn't any heart disease in
at one ic . wiped his face with a your family, is there?"
red handkerchief. The "No," says Bill, "nothing chronic except
kid stopped about malaria and accidents. Why?"
eight feet behind him. "Then you might turn around," says I, "and
"Sam," says Bill, "I have a look behind you."
suppose you think I'm a renegade, but I Bill turns and sees the boy, and loses his
couldn't help it. I'm a grown person with complexion and sits down plump on the
masculine proclivities and habits of self-defense, ground and begins to pluck aimlessly at grass
but there is a time when all systems of egotism and little sticks. For an hour I was afraid of
and predominance fail. The boy is gone. I sent his mind. And then I told him that my scheme
him home. All is off. There was martyrs in old was to put the whole job through immediately
times," goes on Bill, "that suffered death rather and that we would get the ransom and be off
than give up the particular graft they enjoyed.
None of 'em ever was subjugated to such tortures 12. depredation (dep'r1-da'sh:m): robbery or plundering.
as I have been. I tried to be faithful to our articles 13. cauterized (ko't:J·rizd): burned a wound in order to stop
of depredation; 12 but there came a limit." bleeding or to promote healing.

WORDS
surreptitiously (sur'ap-tlsh'as-le) adv. in a sneaky way; secretly
TO
palatable (pal'a-ta-bal) adj. acceptable to the taste; able to be eaten
KNOW
17
with it by midnight if old Dorset fell in with half an hour. I opened the note, got near the
our proposition. So Bill braced up enough to lantern, and read it to Bill. It was written with
give the kid a weak sort of a smile and a a pen in a crabbed hand, 14 and the sum and
promise to play the Russian in a Japanese war substance of it was this:
with him as soon as he felt a little better.
I had a scheme for collecting that ransom
TWO DESPERATE MEN:
without danger of being caught by
Gentlemen: I received your letter today by
counterplots that ought to commend itself to
post, in regard to the ransom you ask for the
professional kidnappers. The tree under which
return of my son. I think you are a little high
the answer was to be left-and the money
in your demands, and I hereby make you a
later on-was
counterproposition, which I am inclined to
At half past close to the road
believe you will accept. You bring Johnny home
fence, with big,
and pay me two hundred and fifty dollars in
eight I was bare fields on all
cash, and I agree to take him off your hands.
sides. If a gang
up in that of constables
You had better come at night, for the neighbors
believe he is lost, and I couldn't be responsible
should be
tree as well watching for
for what they would do to anybody they saw
bringing him back. Very respectfully,
hidden as anyone to come
EBENEZER DORSET
for the note, they
a tree toad, could see him a
long way off "Great Pirates of Penzance," says I; "of all
waiting for crossing the the impudent-"
fields or in the But I glanced at Bill, and hesitated. He had
the messenger road. But no, the most appealing look in his eyes I ever saw
to arrive. sirree! At half on the face of a dumb or a talking brute.
past eight I was "Sam," says he, "what's two hundred and
up in that tree fifty dollars, after all? We've got the money.
as well hidden One more night of this kid will send me to a
as a tree toad, bed in Bedlam. 15 Besides being a thorough
waiting for the messenger to arrive. gentleman, I think Mr. Dorset is a spendthrift
Exactly on time, a half-grown boy rides up for making us such a liberal offer. You ain't
the road on a bicycle, locates the pasteboard going to let the chance go, are you?"
box at the foot of the fence post, slips a folded "Tell you the truth, Bill," says I, "this little
piece of paper into it, and pedals away again he-ewe lamb has somewhat got on my nerves
back toward Summit. too. We'll take him home, pay the ransom, and
I waited an hour and then concluded the make our getaway."
thing was square. I slid down the tree, got the
note, slipped along the fence till I struck the 14. crabbed hand: handwriting that is difficult to read.
woods, and was back at the cave in another 15. Bedlam: an insane asylum.

W0 RDs proposition (prop'a-zlsh'an) n. a suggested plan

TO commend (ka-mend') v. to speak highly of; to praise
KN 0 W impudent (lm'pya-dant) adj. offensively bold and disrespectful
78
 We took him home that night. We got him to " How long can you hold him?" asks Bill.
go by telling him that his father had bought a "I'm not as strong as I used to be," says
silver-mounted rifle and a pair of moccasins for old Dorset, "but I think I can promise you
him and we were to hunt bears the next day. ten minutes."
It was just twelve o'clock when we knocked "Enough," says Bill. "In ten minutes I shall
at Ebenezer's front door. Just at the moment cross the Central, Southern, and Middle
when I should have been abstracting the fifteen Western States and be legging it trippingly
hundred dollars from the box under the tree, for the Canadian border."
according to the original proposition, Bill was And as dark as it was, and as fat as Bill
counting out two hundred and fifty dollars was, and as good a runner as I am, he was
into Dorset's hand. a good mile and a half out of Summit before
When the kid found out we were going to I could catch up with him. •!•
leave him at home, he started up a howl like
a calliope 16 and fastened himself as tight as a
leech to Bill's leg. His father peeled him away 16. calliope (b-ll';J-pe'): an instrument fitted with steam
gradually, like a porous plaster. whistles, played by keyboard.

RELATED READING

I'M MAKING A LIST

by She l Silverstein

I'm making a list of the things I must say

for politeness,
And goodness and kindness and gentleness,
sweetness and rightness:
Hello
Pardon me
How are you?
Excuse me
Bless you
May I?
Thankyou -
Goodbye
If you know some that I've forgot,
please stick them in your eye!

THE RANSOM O F RED CHIEF 79