Examples of Social Graces

1. Say “Excuse me”, “Thank You”, “Please” and “Sorry”

One fundamentals of social graces is “Say excuse me, thank you, please and
sorry”. The simplest rules were taught to us at a young age and those consist of the
magic words: “please,” “sorry”, “thank you” and “excuse me.”

“Please” is often used to show courtesy and it displays respect for the person you
are requesting something from. While saying “excuse me” expresses awareness and
acknowledgement. The phrase “thank you” shows appreciation and gratitude.
Saying “sorry” is also important if you hurt someone because it shows that we are
remorseful or have genuine regret for any harm we may have caused, whether
intentionally or unintentionally. However, saying these words is not enough, you
should also be sincere when saying these words.

2. Next, use good table manners.

When eating, we should respect the food and the people we are eating with. Thus, it
is important to practice good table manners like putting the phone away, avoid
talking while chewing your food, eat if everyone has been served and excusing
yourself If you need to do something. Lastly, Write thank you notes wherein you have
received something, became a guest during dinner and if someone helped you,
writing thank you notes can help you show your appreciation , gratitude and
acknowledgement. It shows you appreciate the gifts you received, thankful for the
invites and acknowledge other people’s help.

3. Open the door for everyone

They call someone who opens the door for you a doorman or porter in British English,
a person hired to provide courtesy and security services at residential building or
hotel. They are particularly in urban luxury high rises. But this etiquette does not
say that when you open door for others, you’ll be called a doorman. This action is a
social grace that shows respect and is a way to help others specially the elders,
mothers, and those who need physical assistance. Moreover, the etiquette says
“everyone”, regardless of status, appearance, being special or anything, but when we
can do it. When someone shut the door in our face can set the tone for the rest of
our day. It changes the mood, people are able to swear at them, what a bad
experience.

Accordingly, opening the door for others is a simple gesture of courtesy. It is rude to
bemoan someone’s innocent act of kindness, therefore, the correct reply is “Thank
you!” When do we open doors for others? When someone is next to you it is crucial
to open it for them and not to shut it in their face. According to Maralee Mckee, this
act of courtesy is mostly done 1) at home, as you greet people at your door allowing
them to enter and also when they leave. 2) At work, chivalry isn’t dead! It’s just that,
in the workplace, gender is neutral. The first person at the door opens and holds it
for the next person. Open the door by pulling it towards you and standing behind it
to allow maximum room for people to pass. 3) in Public, when out and about, there
are a lot of times you’ll want to those a head of you, “I’ll be glad to get the door!”
 These would include times when they: have their hands full, are pushing a baby
stroller, have 2 or more small children with them, wearing cast or brace indicating
they have broken arm, wrist, or such, are on crutches or any. It is better to ask them
first and wait for their response because not all the time people agree with it, it’s
kinder than assuming. 4) Opening car doors, when driving someone in your car
you’re the host. In the same way your opening the door at your home, you should be
the one opening for your “guest”.

According to Jacquelyn Youst “hold the door for everyone every day, not just when
you feel like it”.

4. Be on time
The “Filipino Time” as a culture is not a good practice, it ruins the plans of others,
the mood and your image. A promised time/ commitment or the set time must be
followed because of those reasons. It is important to be on time.

Etiquette has changed a lot in the last decades, but some rules have remained the
same, even if many people choose to disregard them. Why? The first thing is that
being on time shows care. Respect the person and their time, and take the trouble
to get to your meeting or appointment early enough. While it might not always be
true, there is the idea that you are late because you don’t care, and that’s the
impression many can walk away with. Next is that it improves trustworthiness and
responsibility. Getting somewhere on time is easy, but if you fail to do it, it can show
that you lack organization or that you did not take the situation seriously. Being on
time might not be enough to establish your reputation as a reliable person, but can
be a strong first step. It proves you can fulfill a commitment, starting with basics. It
also prevents stress, not only to you but also to others who are waiting. Being late
might less focus, it is more prone to distraction and mistakes.

It is more efficient to be punctual and not be late because of its negative impact to a
person. Value your time and the time of others or the term “respect people’s time”.
It’s acceptable to be late in the event because of an emergency, but texting them in
advance that you’ll be late is better. Be considerate and plan your time accordingly.
No one wants to wait around because some thinks their time is more valuable than
yours. (Youst, n.d.)

5. Shaking of hands
In before times, if someone asked. Are you shaking?”, it was probably a sign that you
were shaking from cold, from fear, or in awe of God, like the “shaking Quakers”.
However, according to a Washington Post article about returning to office life, “are
you shaking?” is a question of moment: asking if you are willing to shake hands and
resume a practice but became rare due to the CoVid-19 pandemic. (James Deutsch,
2021)

Shake hands when you meet someone new, greet an old friend and saying good bye.
In North America, the standard greeting is “hello”. But “Hello” is usually
accompanied by a handshake in formal settings. In informal situations, “Hello and
 wave or hug are appropriate. Most Americans associate a good hand handshake is
important. Plus, a person would make sure they don’t grip the other person’s hand
too hard. Handshakes are used in business and social setting. Handshakes are used
as greetings across the world. Countries like China, Germany, Great Britain and
Rwanda all use handshakes to say hello. However, the prefer handshake of each
country is a little different. (Acrutants19, 2021) In Middle East you should shake
hands with your right hand. In China, you should use a lighter grip. But then,
handshakes in Japan are rare. It symbolizes things like strong relationships, large
deal signings and high-profile mergers. On another note, Japanese culture is not
very touchy-feely.

It is important to ask the person if they are shaking hands before offering them. In
business appointments, businessmen research in advance the person they are going
to meet with to familiarize them. Shaking hands is a good etiquette but then culture
and disease/virus hinders us from doing it.

6. Put the cell phone away

This includes proper cell phone etiquette.

Smart phone etiquette:

1. Put your phone down when someone is talking. (Meetings, class discussion,
and having interaction with your friends)
• Do put your phone away or you may also put your phone on vibrate or silent
and tuck it away.
• Avoid placing it on the table as it is impolite and you may find yourself
distracted or tempted to check it.

This simply means that, we should show respect to the person who is talking in
front. For instance, in school, when the teacher is discussing in front we must listen
attentively and avoid peeping on our phones, if you’re expecting an emergency call
you should ask the teacher to excuse you.

2. Don’t text while walking or driving and be aware of your surroundings.

This is really important for us to avoid any accidents. Accordingly, in Sweden it’s
illegal to hold your phone in your hand while driving because you’re not only putting
yourself in danger, but others as well.
• Focus on the road, the phone can wait.

3. Don’t have your phone on the dinner and make eye contact when conversing
• Respect the people whoever you are eating with, and also respect the food.
• Listen carefully to the person if he/she is talking to you. Instead of looking
on your phone, make an eye contact with her/him and show that you are
interested on what he/she is talking about. Don’t be rude.

4. Don’t post anything in social media.

 If you have any problem don’t always post it on social media because, as they always
say, social media won’t help you find solution to your problem. It might worsen the
situation.

5. Don’t make family and friends secondary to your phone.

Always prioritize your loved ones. For instance, instead of playing games all day,
you should at least give time to your family.

6. Don’t take a call in the middle of a face-to-face chat.

According to Graff “Cell phone can destroy all your interpersonal dealings”.

7. Answer phone calls politely

In recent years, digital communication such as telephone is still a primary
communication device for many organizations, like businesses, health institutions,
schools and more. Since, texting, email and social media have become the preferred
mode of contact for many people, it is important for us to learn the proper way of
answering a call in a proper and professional way.

Accordingly, The phone should be answered with a positive greeting such as “Hello,”
“Good Morning,” or “Good Afternoon,” etc.

Here are some steps you can take to practice answering the phone professionally:

1. Answer by the third ring. It’s courteous to pick up the phone promptly to avoid
making callers wait. Out of respect for the caller’s time, try answering any call by the
third ring or send it to voicemail if you are unavailable rather than letting it continue
ringing. This way you can help the caller in a timely manner.
2. Offer a greeting. As I stated above, the call should be answered with a positive
greeting before anything else.
3. Speak with a smile. As strange as it may sound; your tone often changes
noticeably when you smile while speaking. So, try smiling when you greet the caller.
Using this trick can help you maintain a professional, friendly and positive tone
throughout the phone-answering process.
4. Be clear. If you speak slowly and clearly, it will be easier for callers to hear what
you say the first time so that you don't have to repeat yourself.
5. Avoid slang. In order for callers to understand you, avoid using slang and
industry-specific buzzwords. Rather than using casual phrases like "cool" and "no
problem" on the phone with clients, swap them out for more professional ones, like
"very well" and "you're welcome." Even further, try to avoid using filler words like
"um," "like" and "y'know," and focus on using appropriate, professional language
instead.
6. Be positive. Maintaining a positive and upbeat tone can help callers feel welcomed
and at ease.
7. Close on a positive note. When you're about to hang up with a caller, try to end
the conversation on a positive note. You can do this by thanking them or wishing
them well. This can motivate clients to feel positively toward your organization and
make them more comfortable calling in the future to address other requests,
questions or problems.
For instance, "Thanks for your call today, Mr. Weston. I hope you have a wonderful
rest of your day."