[ NARRATOR [ ANDREA ]

The year is 1989, In the faraway lands of Europe, There was a Theater, but not just any theater.

[ NARRATOR [ JANSEL ]

This theater is the place to be for those who are seeking charisma,

[ NARRATOR [ ANDREA ]

uniqueness

[ NARRATOR [ JANSEL ]

nerve

[ NARRATOR [ ANDREA ]

and talent

[ NARRATOR [ ANDREA, JANSEL ]

This is...........

[ NARRATOR [ JANSEL ]

The Moulin Ru!

[ OPENING ACT ]

[ ALL ]

moulin ru!

moulin ru!

[ CHARISMA [ CHESKA ]

and to the ones I love

know that you’re the reason why

[ UNIQUENESS [ CHESKA ]

I dare to live my life

dare to liberate my mind

[ NERVE [ DENISE ]

you’re running through my veins

won’t you make me come alive?

[ TALENT [ DENISE ]

give me one shot, one shot

(unh)

of adrenaline

[ ALL ]

moulin ru

start your engines

moulin ru

it’s about to begin

[ ZIDLER [ JM ]

Welcome to the moulin ru!

where drag rules as

king, queen, and everything in between

[ ALL ]

moulin ru

( this is the main event )

start your engines

moulin ru

( this is the main event )

it’s about to be

’bout to be

’bout to be

’bout to begin

(rakata tititata)

moulin ru!

[ LELAND INTERLUDE ]

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

This is a story about love

My love- for a queen named Saltine (Aww!)

[ ZIDLER [ JM ]

Poor penniless fool!

People don't come to the Moulin Ru looking for love

They come for charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and-

Line?

[TALENT [ DENISE ]

Talent!

[ ZIDLER [ JM ]

Talent!

[ ZIDLER [ JM ]

Now performing their hit single, Jaloux de ma Gelée

Or as you Americans would say

Don't be jealous of my jelly!

[ JALOUX DE MA GELEE ]

[CHARISMA [ CHESKA ]

I like the guys that are sweet (Mhm!)

By that, I mean sugar daddies (Any here tonight, boys?)

This one's got cash to the skies

And I'm gonna get it

When he dies

[ALL]

Don't be jaloux de ma gelée

Jaloux de ma gelée

That means don't be

Jealous of my jelly!

[ALL]

Charisma (Oooh!)

Uniqueness (Yeah-yeah!)

Nerve and Talent (Oh, oh, oh!)

[TALENT]

I don't do tricks, don't do pain

I give the love that I lost in the game (Oh!)

And two comfy pillows to sleep (Well, if that's what they need!)

[ALL]

Don't be jaloux de ma gelée

Jaloux de ma gelée

That means don't be

Jealous of my jelly, yeah, yeah, yeah!

[ LELAND INTERLUDE ]

( CHESKA LEAVES SETTING )

( LELAND ENTERS )

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

It’s incredible here!

[ DENISE ]

Welcome to the Moulin Ru, my friend.

Where Eros thrills your blood like the clatter of a thousand

castanets!!

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Wow. Okay ... But are you sure this “Saltine” will even agree

to meet me?

[ DENISE ]

You see, she's an uh...

special kind of girl...

She thinks and acts like this.

[ MATERIAL GIRL ]

[ DENISE ]

Some boys kiss me

Some boys hug me

I think they're ok

If they don't give me proper credit

I just walk away

They can beg and they can plead

But they can't see the light

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

that's right!

[ DENISE ]

'Cause the boy with the cold hard cash

Is always Mister Right

'Cause we are living in a material world

And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world

And I am a material girl

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

And what about romance?

[ DENISE ]

Oh, sweetie.

Listen up.

[ DENISE ]

Some boys romance

Some boys slow dance

That's all right with me

If they can't raise my interest then I

Have to let them be

[ LELAND AND DENISE ]

Cause we're living in a material world

[ DENISE ]

And i am a material girl-

[ DENISE ]

Get it?!

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Yes!

[ LELAND AND DENISE ]

Cause we're living in a material world

[ DENISE ]

And I am a material girl

You know that we are

[ LELAND AND DENISE ]

living in a material world

[ DENISE ]

And I am a material girl...

( Cause we are Living in a material world )

( And I am a material girl )

( You know that i am a ma- )

[ LELAND AND DENISE ]

Material GIRL!

[ LELAND AND DENISE ]

Material!

[ DENISE ]

Hey hey!

[ LELAND AND DENISE ]

Material!

[ DENISE ]

Material World!

[ LELAND, DENISE EXIT ]

[ DUKE AND ZIDLER INTERLUDE ]

[ ZIDLER [ JM ]

All is in readiness, your grace.

[ DUKE [ AEHRON ]

She’s awaiting me?

[ ZIDLER [ JM ]

After her performance.

[ DUKE [ AEHRON ]

When does she go on?

[ ZIDLER [ JM ]

Saltine closes the show. She is our coup de grâce.

[ DUKE [ AEHRON ]

She had best live up to your description, Zidler.

[ ZIDLER [ JM ]

Hyperbole has no place in my heart, sir! Saltine is every inch the

Venus, I have promised.

[ DUKE [ AEHRON ]

Go back to work.

[ ZIDLER [ JM ]

And now

The Moulin Ru proudly presents

The star of our show, Saltine!

[ MONEY MONEY MONEY ]

[SALTINE[ SAM ]

L-U-C-K-Y, honey, honey

A little twist and slide (Unh, unh)

You're so lucky tonight

'Cause I'm giving you the show that you want

Kiss me like you miss me

Hump me like you hate me

Shoot a movie on my face

Take another picture

Put it on my Insta

Come give me another taste

[ ALL ]

(Hey, kitty girl!)

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

I'm the kitty girl

[ ALL ]

(And it's your world!)

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

And it's my world

[ ALL ]

(Hey, kitty girl!)

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

Oh, the kitty girl!

[ ALL ]

(And it's your world!)

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

And I want-

[CHARISMA [ CHESKA ]

Money!

[UNIQUENESS[ CHESKA ]

Money!

[NERVE[ DENISE]

Monеy!

[TALENT[ DENISE ]

Money!

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

( gasps )

( chokes )

( faints )

( zidler comes out from the crowd and catches saltine )

( zidler passes saltine to denise )

[ ZIDLER ]

( stuttering )

don't worry everyone! this is a part of the show!

( claps )

[ AUDIENCE ]

( applause )

[ BACKSTAGE ]

[ DENISE ]

Saltine are you alright?

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

Yes- It's just these costumes..

( gasps )

( coughs )

[ DENISE ]

( gives saltine a handkerchief )

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

( coughs up blood)

( they look at each other )

[ DENISE

[ SALTINE [ SAM }

Don't tell anyone.. please..

If you tell Zidler, i'll get red..

this is the only reason i'm alive right now.

please.

[ DENISE ]

( nods abruptly )

( leaves setting )

[ LOVE INTERLUDE ]

[LELAND [ AEON ]

Saltine

You're the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen

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Come away with me

And I will love you forever

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

You're gonna have to do better than that to get me silly fool.

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Well, my "queen"

What do you want me to do for you?

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

This is a wonderful place for a poetry reading. Don't you think?

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Very well.

Let's get it over and done with

I prefer to do it standing.

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

( stands up )

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

You don't have to stand.

Sometimes it's... It's quite long,

and I'd like you to be comfortable.

What I do is quite modern.

It may feel strange at rst, but if you're open,

you might enjoy it.

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

( sarcastically )

I'm sure I will.

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

"The sky..."

"The sky... the bluebirds..."

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

Come on. Come on.

I think There might be some shaking.

Is everything okay?

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

I'm a little nervous.

Sometimes it takes a while for...

...inspiration to come.

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

( SARCASTICALLY )

Oh, yes, yes.

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Tell the truth.

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Can't you feel the poetry?

Come on! Feel it.

"It's a little bit funny...this feeling inside.

" I'm not one of those who can easily hide."

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

There you go!

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

"I don't have much money,

but if I did, I'd buy...

...a big house where we both

could live."

"If I were a sculptor, then again, no."

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

You devil.

"I know it's not much."

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

WOO!

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

"It's the best I can do."

[ YOUR SONG ]

My gift is my song

And this one's for you

And you can tell everybody

That this is your song

It may be quite simple, but

Now that it's done

Hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind

That I put down in words

How wonderful life is now you're in the world

So excuse me forgetting

But these things I do

You see, I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue!

Anyway, the thing is

What I really mean

Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

And, you can tell everybody

This is your song

It may be quite simple, but

Now that it's done

Hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind

That I put down in words

How wonderful life is now you're `in the world

[ ZIDLER[ JM ]

Saltine!

The rich duke was in the audience, and he wants to meet you!

With his money

And your beauty

The Moulin Ru will be saved!

Wait here

[ ELEPHANT LOVE MEDLEY ]

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

Leland, look im sorry, but i cant-

I can't fall in love with anyone.

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Can't fall in love?

A life without love? That's terrible!

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

Being on the street that's terrible.

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

No! Love is like oxygen.

Love is a many splendored thing

Love lifts us up where we belong

All you need is love

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

Please don't start that again

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

All you need is love

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

A girl has got to eat

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

All you need is love

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

Love is just a game

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

I was made for loving you baby

You were made for loving me

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

The only way of loving me baby

Is to pay a lovely fee

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Just one night

Just one night

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

There's no way

Cause you can't pay

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

In the name of love

One night in the name of love

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

You crazy fool

I won't give in to you

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Don't leave me this way

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

You think that people would have enough of silly love songs

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Well what's wrong with that

I'd like to know

Cause here I go again

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Love lifts us up where we belong

Where the eagles y

On a mountain high

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

Love makes us act like we are fools

Throw our lives away

For one happy day

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

We should be lovers!

( We can be heroes )

and that's a fact

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

Though nothing, will keep us together

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

We could steal time

[ LELAND AND SALTINE ]

Just for one day

We can be heroes

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

fl
Just because I, and I will always love you

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

I and I..

[ LELAND AND SALTINE ]

Can't help loving...

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

You

[ LELAND AND SALTINE ]

How wonderful life is

Now you're in the world

[ DUKE OF DICKINGTON INTERLUDE ]

[ZIDLER]

Saltine!

May I present to you, the wealthy and generous

Duke of Dickington!

[DUKE OF DICKINGTON]

Enchante!

Hey!

I thought you said she was single

And looking to mingle

[ZIDLER]

Saltine

You have a choice to make

And don't f--k it up

[ COVERGIRL TANGO ]

[ZIDLER[ JM ]

Covergirl put the bass in your walk

Covergirl, don't you wanna be rich?

Well, here they are

To give you their pitch

Hey!

[DUKE OF DICKINGTON[ AEHRON]

I'll give you runways

I'll give you paydays

Covers of magazines

[LELAND [ AEON]

He doesn't love you

The way that I do

We'll be a family

[CHARISMA, UNIQUENESS [ CHESKA ], NERVE, TALENT[ DENISE ]

Bing, bang, bong

Sing, sang, song

Ding, dang, dong

[DUKE OF DICKINGTON[ AEHRON ]

Covergirl put the bass in your walk

You'll be a star

Isn't that what you want?

[LELAND[ AEON]

Lover girl

Go with what's in your heart

Leave with me

And we won't be apart

[DUKE OF DICKINGTON[ AEHRON ]

Covergirl!

[PENNILESS WRITER]

Lover girl!

[DUKE OF DICKINGTON[ AEHRON]

Covergirl!

[LELAND [ AEON]

Lover girl!

[DUKE OF DICKINGTON[ AEHRON]

Covergirl!

[LELAND [ AEON ]

Lover girl!

[CHARISMA, UNIQUENESS, NERVE, TALENT]

Bing, bang, bong

Sing, sang, song

Ding, dang, dong

[SALTINE[ SAM]

Can't decide

What is right

What is wrong (Oh!)

[LELAND [ AEON]

Lover girl!

[DUKE OF DICKINGTON[ AEHRON]

Covergirl!

[ZIDLER[ JM ]

Covergirl!

[ NARRATOR INTERLUDE ]

[NARRATOR [ ANDREA ]

And so Saltine is left with a choice to make as she's caught between the Duke of Dickington
and Leland.

[NARRATOR [ JANSEL ]

But which path will she take? Will she choose the life of luxury and fame promised by the
Duke, or will she follow her heart and run away with Leland?

[ ABSINTHE INTERLUDE ]

[SALTINE[ SAM ]

Why does life have to be so binary?

Can't I have both

[UNIQUENESS[ DENISE ]

Saltine!

The answer to your problems is in this little bottle of absinthe

( SALTINE DRINKS BOTTLE )

[SALTINE[ SAM ]

Are you my inner saboteur?

[GREEN FAIRY [ ANDREA ]

No, my dear

I'm your hallelucination

[ GREEN FAIRY ]

[GREEN FAIRY[ JANSEL, ANDREA]

(A- one, two, three and,)

This is the beginning, the beginning

This is the beginning

For the rest of your life

You're a champion

Greatest of them all

You're a champion

Never gonna fall

If you dream

Everything you want to be

If you dream

All the possibilities

Choose you!

You're a miracle

Choose you

And who you want to be

[GREEN FAIRY [ JANSEL ]

Now, do you get it?

[SALTINE (spoken)]

No, can I hear it again?

[GREEN FAIRY[ ANDREA, JANSEL]

Fine

One, two three, and

[GREEN FAIRY [ JANSEL, ANDREA]

This is the beginning, the beginning

This is the beginning

of the rest of your life

You're a champion

Greatest of them all

If you dream

Everything you want to be

Choose you

You're a miracle

Choose you!

And who you want to be

[GREEN FAIRY [ANDREA]

Now you have to get it!

[SALTINE[ SAM ]

I am so sorry

I wasn't listening

[GREEN FAIRY[ ANDREA]

Oh, god!

One, two, three, four

[GREEN FAIRY [ JANSEL, ANDREA]

This is the beginning, the beginning

You're a champion

Greatest of them all

If you dream

Choose you

[SALTINE [ SAM ]

Choose me?

[GREEN FAIRY[ ANDREA]

Choose you!

 [SALTINE[ SAM]

Choose me!

[GREEN FAIRY[ JANSEL ]

Choose you!

[GREEN FAIRY [ ANDREA ]

You get the point

[SALTINE [SAM]

Huh?

You still talking to me?

[GREEN FAIRY[ JANSEL]

Oh, god!

[ I CHOOSE MYSELF INTERLUDE ]

[ZIDLER[ JM ]

Saltine consulted with the Green Fairy

But the nal decision is hers to make!

[SALTINE[ SAM]

( weakly )

I choose..

myself!

[DUKE OF DICKINGTON[ AEHRON]

I'm outta here

[ YOUR SONG REPRISE ]

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Look at me, Saltine. Why else live, if not for love?

[SALTINE[ SAM ]

Come what may, come what may

I will love you until my dying day

And you can tell everybody

This is your song

It may be quite simple, but

[SALTINE & ENSEMBLE]

Now that it's done

[ALL]

Now that it's done

I hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind

That I put down in words

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[SALTINE & LELAND]

We can be heroes

[ALL]

How wonderful life is

[SALTINE & LELAND]

We can be heroes

[ALL]

How wonderful life is

[SALTINE & LELAND]

We can be heroes

[ALL]

How wonderful life is

While you're in the world

[LELAND]

While you're in the world

[SALTINE]

How wonderful life is

[SALTINE, CHRISTIAN & COMPANY]

While you're in the...

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

How wonderful life is

While you're in the world..

[ AUDIENCE ]

( APPLAUSE )

[ NARRATOR [ ANDREA ]

Suddenly the world suspends, slows...

( saltine faints weakly, still conscious )

[ LELAND ]

Satine! What is it?!

[ SALTINE ]

Oh, Leland ... I think this is goodbye...

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

Goodbye?

No...

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

SALTINE!

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

 I should have told you. But I couldn’t bear to break your

heart again. I’m sorry. I’ve hurt you so much.

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

No, Satine.

[ SALTINE [ SAM ]

But your beautiful song. You did it, Christian..

Tell our story to the world..

( curtains close )

[ NARRATOR [ ANDREA ]

Saltine's tragic death left the audience stunned and heartbroken.

[ NARRATOR [ JANSEL ]

Years later, yet Leland and Saltine's love will still forever and always be a reminder of the love
and passion shared between them all.

[ NARRATOR [ ANDREA ]

The Moulin Ru will never be the same without the beautiful and talented Saltine.

( LELAND ENTERS )

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

That was perfect girls! You guys can take 5

( narrators leave )

[ LELAND [ AEON ]

( walks over to saltine’s grave )

i nally did it, my love..

i’m telling our story, just like you always wanted.

( places a rose on the grave )

I miss you every day, Saltine. You were the love of my life, and nothing can ever change that.

(turns to leave)

But I know you're always with me. And for that, I am forever grateful.

( curtains close )
fi