Attachment Styles
Attachment Styles
Attachment Styles
Word recognition task studies, they struggled to pick up on words like love, happiness, care.
But when they were distracted their ability to repress lessened.
Avoidance are quick to think negatively about their partners, seeing them as needy and
overly dependant, but ignore their own needs and fears about relationships. They despise
others for being needy and are themselves immune to those needs. It is the defensive style
that makes them seem that way. Faced with a stressful life event, avoidance are quick to
break down, they then appear and behave like people with anxious attachement style.
You connect with your partner, but always maintain some mental distance and an escape
route.
Deactivating behaviour: any behaviour that’s used to squelch intimacy. Suppressing your
attachment system:
You have this false notion of self reliance. You count on other people for work.
Studies show the belief of self reliance is associated with reduced degree of comfort and
intimacy. By overrating self reliance, you diminish the ability to get support from other
people, thus cutting yourself off from an important life line.
You ignore the needs of your partner and focus only on your own needs, prevents you from
enjoying being part of something bigger than yourself.
Time and distance, the threat of intimacy is gone, you no longer feel the need to suppress
your true feelings.
Partner that is crushed ad protests but this only strengthns your conviction that she or he is
not the one.
How can you change?
Avoidant attachement style assume that the reason why they’re unable to commit to a
relationship has little to do with themselves and a lot to do with external circumstances.
They rarely search inside themselves
Typically, despite differing intimacy needs, the anxious partner usually has to make the
compromise by accepting the rules imposed by the avoidant partner. Avoidance tend to
become more hostile and distant after arguments progress.
Priming for security: Find a secure attachement style couple and a secure way of dealing
with their partner.
Summerise the characteristics that you want to adopt, and this becomes your inspiring role
model.
The hearts of the people are like containers. The best container is the one with greater
capacity.
The 1st part of ishfaq: having sympathy for your actions.
2nd part: having a deeper insight into the management of time.
Time is used as an expression to utilise every moment of his time is association with Allah.
Detach themselves from dunya, and driving your focus towards allah.