PUSS IN BOOTS - THE LAST WISH - Screenplay
PUSS IN BOOTS - THE LAST WISH - Screenplay
PUSS IN BOOTS - THE LAST WISH - Screenplay
Screenplay by
Paul Fisher
Tommy Swerdlow
Story by
Tommy Swerdlow
Tom Wheeler
DreamWorks Animation
TM (c) 2022. All Rights Reserved.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 1
EXT. A STARSCAPE
PUSS (V.O.)
Star light, star bright, first star
I see tonight-- I wish I may, I
wish I might, have this wish I wish
tonight.
PUSS (V.O.)
Once upon a time, a wishing star
fell from the sky--
PUSS (V.O.)
Scorching a great woods black.
PUSS (V.O.)
The Dark Forest was born. The
wishing star hidden at its center
filling it with new life and the
legend of a single wish, locked
away in the star... waiting to be
granted.
CROWD (O.S.)
Puss in Boots! Puss in Boots!
Puss limbers up, takes a deep breath and steps through the
curtain. It’s showtime...
PUSS
Welcome to my fiesta!
PUSS (CONT’D)
Make yourselves at home! Yeah!
PUSS (CONT’D)
Come on, eat!
PUSS (CONT’D)
Drink up! Ha, ha!
PUSS (CONT’D)
Hey! Hola, amigo. Good to see you
again!
LITTLE BOY
Papa! He stepped on my face!
PROUD PAPA
And we will never wash it again!
PUSS
Good people of Cordova--
PUSS
People of Del Mar, accept these
golden gifts from Puss in Boots!
Puss tips over a wooden chest and gold coins rain down on the
audience below. Applause!
PARTY GOER #2
(shouting up)
Play a song!
PUSS
No, no, no, I couldn’t.
LITTLE BOY
Sing, Puss! Sing!
PUSS
(feigning modesty)
I couldn’t possibly--
PUSS (CONT’D)
(singing)
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
SONG MONTAGE: The cuts are fast, the action is crazy, the
crowd is loose.
Giant BALLS OF YARN are launched into the audience. The crowd
bounces them around like BEACHBALLS!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 4
PUSS (CONT’D)
(singing)
Who is brave and ready for trouble?
CROWD
(singing)
You are! You are!
PUSS
(singing)
Hah hah! Who is unbelievably
humble?
CROWD
(singing)
You are! You are!
Puss stage dives from the balcony and crowd surfs. He lands
elegantly on a bar top, spins and kicks glasses of leche to
the crowd. One happy party goer is clobbered by a glass.
PUSS
(singing)
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
PUSS (CONT’D)
(singing)
Who’s the gato who rolls the dice?
PARTY GOERS
You are!
PUSS
And gambles with his life?
PARTY GOERS
You are!
PUSS
(singing)
Who’s never been touched by a
blade?
PARTY GOERS
You are!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 5
PUSS
Puss in Boots is never afraid!
PUSS (CONT’D)
(singing)
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
PUSS (CONT’D)
(singing)
Who is your favorite fearless--
PUSS (CONT’D)
(trailing off)
--hero?
GOVERNOR
My clothes!
GOVERNOR (CONT’D)
(gasp)
My portrait!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 6
PUSS
Oh, hey, Governor. Uh...One second.
GOVERNOR
The outlaw Puss in Boots!
PUSS
Welcome! Mi casa es su casa!
GOVERNOR
No, su casa es MI casa!
Arrest these filthy peasants-- and
bring me the head of Puss in Boots!
The guards run at Puss. He draws his sword and turns to the
band.
PUSS
Hey! This is a party! Where is the
music?
BAND
(singing)
He’s the blade of justice. Stands
up against evil. Fighting for the
people. And he’s very good looking.
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
BAND (CONT’D)
Puss in Boots! Puss in Boots!
PUSS
Puss in Boots has never been
touched by a blade.
BAND MEMBERS
(singing)
Never been touched!
PUSS
But you--
GOVERNOR
Skin that cat!
PUSS
Governor...
(touching a fuse)
Lighten up!
PUSS
Ha, ha, ha-- uh-oh.
PUSS (CONT’D)
Silly guards, dog-piles don’t work
on cats!
PARTY GOER #2
You awoke the sleeping giant of Del
Mar!
Puss springs into action as the giant hoists the Little Boy
into the air!
LITTLE BOY
Wheee! I’m flying!
PUSS
No, you are not flying! I will save
you!
GOVERNOR
Save me, too!
PUSS
If it’s convenient.
PUSS (CONT’D)
(to bassist)
You! Launch me!
(to the band)
And the rest of you, play double-
time!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 9
BAND
(singing)
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
PUSS
The Spanish Splinter!
MOUNTAIN GIANT
Yeeeaaahhhhhgh!
PUSS
Gracias.
The espresso does the job. Puss MEOWS, slams the cup onto the
table and launches back into action, revived.
BACK WITH THE GIANT: who smashes through a BELL TOWER, rips
the bell free and starts swinging it around like a wrecking
ball. Buildings are reduced to rubble.
PUSS (CONT’D)
Fear me, if you dare!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 10
VILLAGER
(muffled)
Help! Please, señor!
Puss leaps onto the satchel and cuts a strap. The captive
villagers CHEER as they swing gently to the ground and run
for freedom.
LITTLE BOY
Yay!
PUSS
(quiet)
Hey giant, pray for mercy from...
(loud)
Puss in Boots!
Puss grabs onto the huge eyepatch and slides it over the
giant’s one good eye. The giant blindly swings the bell. The
bell rope cinches around his antlers, tightening as the bell
spins in diminishing circles.
PUSS (CONT’D)
Hey, you want to see something
cool?
CROWD
PUSS IN BOOTS! PUSS IN BOOTS!
PUSS
Gracias, Del Mar! You’ve been
great! Get home safely! Goodnight!
PUSS (CONT’D)
You still here?
PUSS (CONT’D)
Okay, okay, one more number...
I call this one, “The Legend Will
Never Di--”
DONNGGG! The BELL lands right on PUSS, smashing him flat!
CROWD
Ohhh!
LITTLE BOY
Puss in Boots!
CUT TO BLACK.
VOICE
Puss? Puss? Puss in Boots?
VET
Not to worry, You’re in good hands.
MY hands.
VET (CONT’D)
I am the village doctor.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 12
VET (CONT’D)
I am also the village barber,
veterinarian, dentist and witch-
finder!
VET (CONT’D)
And in my professional opinion: you
need a wash, a blow out and a
little trim around the
hindquarters.
PUSS
Uh--
VET
That’s my professional BARBER
opinion. But! Putting on my
doctor’s hat--
VET (CONT’D)
I think we need to run a few tests.
Reflexes!
The Vet raps Puss on the knee with a MALLET. Puss cat-slaps
him ten times in the face.
VET (CONT’D)
Cat-like. Temperature! Now lift
your tail and relax.
VET
Then how about the latest in modern
medical technology? Leeches! To
draw out the evil humors...
The Vet seizes a LEECH from the jar and comes at Puss. Puss
HISSES.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 13
VET (CONT’D)
Suit yourself. More for me.
PUSS
Listen, doctor. Thanks for
everything, you know, but I am
feeling great! Strong, like the
bull! You know? Now, do you know a
good place to get some gazpacho?
VET
Puss, this is serious.
PUSS
What is it?
VET
Puss in Boots...How do I say this?
You DIED.
PUSS
Doctor, please...
(bright)
Relax! I am Puss in Boots. I laugh
at death! Ha, ha, ha-- you see? And
anyway, I am a cat. I have NINE
LIVES.
VET
And how many times have you died
already?
PUSS
I dunno, I never counted. I am not
really a “math guy”.
VET
Gato--
PUSS
Take it easy, doctor. Let’s see...
(thinks)
There was the running of the bulls
in Pamplona...
FLASHBACKS
PUSS
Hola, señorita. Do you like
gazpacho?
PUSS
Guess it’s not your night, huh
fellas?
PUSS
(tipsy)
And I’m telling you, a cat always
lands on his feet! Watch!
Puss leaps heedlessly from the tower and plunges toward the
streets. That’s DEATH NUMBER THREE.
PUSS
No! Puss in Boots doesn’t need a
spotter. Watch!
PUSS
No need to pull into port! This
will revolutionize travel! Watch!
PUSS
Excuse me, does this have shellfish
in it?
WAITRESS
Yes, sir.
PUSS
(shrugging it off)
Eh.
GINGY
Puss, I think you set the oven too
high!
PUSS
(scoff)
I’m a master of the baking. Watch!
BACK TO
PUSS (CONT’D)
And then there was the giant today.
(counting)
So what is that, like... four?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 16
VET
That makes eight, Puss. You are
down to your last life.
(writing on clipboard)
My prescription: no more adventures
for you! You need to RETIRE.
PUSS
Me, retire? Are you the village
comedian as well?
VET
Puss, is there any safe place you
can go? Any special someone you can
rely on in this moment of need?
PUSS
I am Puss in Boots, loved by one
and all.
VET
Anyone in particular?
PUSS
I mean-- uh, how could I possibly
choose?
VET
This is the address of Mama Luna.
She is a cat fancier, always on the
lookout for a new lap-cat. You will
be safe there.
Puss leaps from the exam table and heads for the exit.
PUSS
Lap-cat?! I am no lap-cat, Doctor.
(again, emphatically)
I am Puss in Boots!
VET
Not any more. Barber’s orders.
(correcting)
I mean, Doctor’s orders.
Puss opens the exam room door and heads for the exit, not
looking back.
VET (CONT’D)
And remember, Puss. Death comes for
us all.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 17
VET (CONT’D)
Treat?
PUSS
(munching away)
You’ve really got to work on your
bedside manner!
WIDER: It’s late. The tavern is empty. Puss sits at the bar,
lapping shots of heavy cream, contemplating his future and
his fate.
PUSS
(muttering to himself)
I am Puss in Boots, I am no one’s
lap-cat. That doctor is a quack and
a crazy man. He should stick to
cutting hair...
BARTENDER
Last call, Señor Boots.
PUSS
Another glass of cream. Make it
your heaviest.
BARTENDER
I keep the heavy stuff in the back.
The Bartender exits. Puss regards his reflection in the
mirror over the bar.
PUSS
Retire? Hah! You are too good
looking to retire.
WOLF
Well, well, if it isn’t Puss in
Boots himself.
(chuckles)
In the flesh.
PUSS
Uh-- hey.
WOLF
There’s the famous hat. The
feather. And of course, the boots.
(appraising them)
My compliments to your cobbler.
PUSS
(turning away)
Thanks. Good to meet you, too.
WOLF
Hey, I never do this, but-- can I
get your autograph? Been following
you for a long time.
WOLF (CONT’D)
Sign right there.
WOLF
So I’ve heard.
PUSS
You will find your reward does not
come easily, this I tell you.
WOLF
Everyone thinks they’ll be the one
to defeat me, but no one’s escaped
me yet.
PUSS
(yawns)
Let’s get this over with.
(drawing his sword)
Fear me, if you--
PUSS (CONT’D)
Okay, no more messing around. Hah!
Puss charges, flips acrobatically and swipes his blade at the
Wolf. The Wolf evades it with ease.
WOLF
(dodging blows)
Slow. Sloppy. Sad.
The Wolf pulls two SICKLES from his belt and attacks. The
fight is on, a furious exchange: flashing blades, the ring of
steel-on-steel.
WOLF (CONT’D)
You’re not living up to the legend,
gato.
WOLF (CONT’D)
(sniffing)
Ahh, I just love the smell of fear.
The Wolf stalks towards Puss, scraping his blades across the
flagstones, drawing sparks.
WOLF (CONT’D)
What’s the matter? Lives flashing
before your eyes?
WOLF (CONT’D)
Pick it up.
WOLF (CONT’D)
Pick. It. Up.
He can’t. Puss runs from the fight, leaving the sword behind.
A sickle slips through the jamb and SLICES the latch. The
Wolf enters, scowling into the shadows, eyes glowing an
uncanny red.
WOLF
(chuckles)
Corre corre gatito.
Puss consults the card the Vet gave him: MAMA LUNA’S CAT
RESCUE. This must be the place.
CUT TO:
PUSS
I am no longer worthy. I am sorry.
PUSS (CONT’D)
We are gathered here today to say
goodbye to Puss in Boots.
PUSS (CONT’D)
There-- there are no words to
express such a loss...Thank you.
PUSS (CONT’D)
But, it would be a crime not to
try. He was known across the land
by many names: The Stabby Tabby, El
Macho Gato, The Leche Whisperer.
To some, an outlaw. To more, a
hero. To all, a legend.
(sighs, slumps)
I was right... words were not
enough.
HIGH ANGLE: Mama Luna’s house casts a long shadow over Puss
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 22
Puss steps onto the front porch and drops into the four-
legged posture of a ordinary cat. He knocks on the door.
The door opens and MAMA LUNA peers out uncertainly. She’s a
hippy-dippy old lady with colorful clothes, coke bottle
glasses and terrible eyesight.
PUSS
< MEOW!>
MAMA LUNA
Oh! You’re not from the health
department are you? No you’re not!
Mama Luna sweeps Puss into her arms and hugs him. Tight.
MAMA LUNA
I am Mama Luna and this is my home.
And now, it’s your home too.
Puss’ POV: towering stacks of kitty-litter bags and kibble.
It’s cat care on an industrial scale.
MAMA LUNA
(singing)
The kitty gets a bath-- the kitty
gets a bath-- hi ho, the derry-o--
NEXT: Mama Luna dries puss with a towel. His fur POOFS UP
like a blowfish.
MAMA LUNA
Brother cats! Sister kitties! Meet
your new roommate!
Luna sets Puss down. The cats are sleepy and lazy and regard
him with little interest.
PUSS
What? Did I say something salty?
It’s my second language.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 24
PUSS (CONT’D)
Stupid mittens. Get off me.
PUSS (CONT’D)
Oh no.
PUSS
(relieved)
Ahhhhh--
MAMA LUNA
This is a person potty, Pickles.
That’s your potty...
PUSS
So this is where dignity goes to
die.
PUSS
(spitting it out)
Ugh! No, no, no way.
MAMA LUNA
Uh, uh, uh.
QUICK SHOTS: Mama Luna RIPS open a bag of kibble. She DUMPS
the bag into the KIBBLE TROUGH. Cats RUSH to it.
PUSS
Meow?
CUT TO:
FADE TO BLACK
MAMA BEAR and PAPA BEAR follow, lumbering close behind. Baby
GROWLS against the wind.
GOLDILOCKS
You got the scent?
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
These are too small...
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
And these are too big.
(noticing)
Ah, but these ones--!
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
These ones are just right. Baby,
track that cat!
PUSS
Do you mind? Trying to eat, here.
(catching himself)
I mean-- “meow-whatever.”
The cat looks up. Except it’s NOT a cat-- it’s DOG, a tiny,
teacup mutt in a filthy sweater. Dog is wearing a ludicrous
CAT DISGUISE with broom-bristle whiskers and a feather duster
tail.
DOG
Oh, Sorry.
(realizing)
Oh! Oh, oh, you’re a talking cat?!
I’m a talking cat! Let’s talk!
PUSS
(sighs)
I’d rather eat.
DOG
Not a problem!
Dog takes a bite of kibble and talks with his mouth full.
DOG (CONT’D)
(spraying kibble)
We can eat and talk at the same
time!
PUSS
No hablo Inglés.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 28
DOG
Hablas Español? Yo también! De
donde eres? Te gusta las siestas?
PUSS
I don’t speak Spanish either.
DOG
You’re funny!
PUSS
(turning away)
Okay. Good talk.
DOG
Oh hang on! Pickles? Is that your
name? Me, I don’t have a name-- or
a home--
DOG (CONT’D)
So I’m no expert, but you don’t
look like a Pickles to me.
PUSS
Well, you don’t look like a cat.
DOG
(whisper)
Okay, okay, okay. Full disclosure,
I’m not a cat. I’m a DOG.
(noticing Mama Luna)
Shh...
Mama Luna strolls past. Dog poses and feigns a MEOW and a
phony PURR.
MAMA LUNA
Oh! Pickles has a new girlfriend!
Okay...
DOG
I live under the porch. It can get
a little lonely down there. It’s
mostly controlled by the rats and
the centipedes, but I have my own
little corner.
PUSS
Congratulations.
DOG
I just come up here for the food
and the friends.
DOG (CONT’D)
Mostly the food. Please! Don’t tell
anyone! I need this!
PUSS
I won’t tell. I don’t care.
DOG
So, you’ll keep my secret? A secret
between friends?
PUSS
Just a secret.
DOG
It’s funny, despite all this best
friend bonding, you’re still a
mystery to me, Pickles. What’s your
story?
PUSS
My story--
PUSS
--is over!
DOG
(gasps)
Oh, no! Wanna rub my belly?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 30
PUSS
What’s happening?
DOG
Rub!
PUSS
Hard pass.
DOG
C’mon, rub. I need the practice.
I’m gonna be a therapy dog someday.
PUSS
What the hell are you talking
about?
DOG
I’m glad you asked! When people
feel bad, they can rub my belly.
It’ll make them feel better!
(sudden determination)
Rub my belly!
PUSS
No.
DOG
C’mon. RUB IT.
PUSS
No. Not happening.
DOG
RUB IT!
PUSS
(climbing)
No! Let me be clear: I don’t. Want.
To touch. Your belly.
DOG
Okie-doke! So what do you want?
PUSS
I want to be left alone.
FADE TO BLACK.
It’s quiet. Sleeping cats all over the place. Mama Luna
dozes, cozy in her armchair, practically covered in lap-cats.
PUSS
(startled)
AHH! You’re back!
DOG
(still not blinking)
I never left.
PUSS
(scared)
The wolf. He’s found me.
GOLDILOCKS
Hello, missus. We’re looking for a
cat.
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
This cat. We’ve got an offer for
him.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 32
PUSS
What could they possibly want to
offer Puss in Boots?
DOG
What’s a Puss in Boots?
PUSS
Seriously?
MAMA LUNA
I told you health department
people, there are no cats here!
GOLDILOCKS
Make her talk.
Papa Bear looms over Mama Luna, opens his terrible jaws
and... SPEAKS in a surprisingly cheerful cockney accent.
PAPA BEAR
Excuse me, my darling! We’re
looking for the legendary Puss in
Boots. Have you perhaps--
GOLDILOCKS
Too soft.
GOLDILOCKS
Too hard! That was not JUST RIGHT!
Oi, Baby! Sniff him out.
BABY BEAR
You don’t tell me what to do.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 33
MAMA BEAR
Listen to your sister, Baby!
BABY BEAR
She’s not my sister, she’s a
fugitive orphan!
PAPA BEAR
She is your sister! Do as she says!
BABY BEAR
Fine. But all I can smell is cat
pee.
MAMA LUNA
Everybody get to the safe room,
just like we practiced! Follow me,
children!
GOLDILOCKS
Oi! She’s leggin’ it!
MAMA BEAR
Give her the piano treatment, Papa.
Papa crosses the room and STUFFS Mama Luna into an upright
PIANO. Her legs stick out from the top, bicycling in the air.
MAMA LUNA
(muffled)
Ha! You think this is the first
time I’ve been stuffed in a piano?!
Papa sits on the piano bench, which nearly buckles under his
weight. He cracks his knuckles and starts to play, cutting
loose with a jaunty music-hall tune.
PAPA BEAR
Here we go!
(singing)
Roll out the barrel, we’ll have a
barrel of fun.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 34
GOLDILOCKS
Mama! Focus, please.
Mama abandons the hats and gets back to business. Baby sniffs
his way over to a closet and opens it. Dozens of cats tumble
out, scrambling up his legs, hissing and clawing him
savagely.
BABY BEAR
Ahhrrgh! There’s cats everywhere!
There’s so many cats!
PAPA BEAR
(singing)
Now’s the time to roll out the
barrel...
Papa shoves Luna’s head down, closes the lid and keeps
playing.
PUSS AND DOG to watch from their hiding place. Puss ROLLS HIS
EYES at the clumsy bears and their strong-arm tactics.
PUSS
Pff. Amateurs.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 35
Suddenly, Mama Bear reaches down, GRABS DOG and lifts him
into the air! She presents him to Goldi.
MAMA BEAR
Goldi, is this him?
GOLDILOCKS (O.S.)
That’s a dog in a cat costume.
MAMA BEAR
Oh yeah... Tricky little bugger!
Mama casts Dog aside, seizes Puss by the scruff of the neck
and yanks him from his hiding place!
GOLDILOCKS
Is that a joke? You think this
scruffy, geriatric bag of bones
looks like a legend? This is
definitely not--
From outside:
The Three Bears and Goldi look down at Puss’ grave. Baby
gives it a SNIFF and nods sagely.
BABY BEAR
Puss in Boots: dead and buried.
GOLDILOCKS
Dead? No, no, no! He can’t be!
BABY BEAR
Yup! The nose never lies.
PAPA BEAR
Well, that’s that, then. What say
we go hibernate?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 36
GOLDILOCKS
No! The map is being delivered
tonight and we have one chance to
steal it. Without it, we’ll never
find the Wishing Star.
PUSS
(to himself)
The Wishing Star? It does exist!
GOLDILOCKS
That star has one wish to grant.
PUSS
(to himself)
One wish?
GOLDILOCKS
Think of what that could mean for
us!
PUSS
Nine lives! Yes!
BABY BEAR
Well, I don’t see why we needed to
hire Puss in Boots in the first
place.
GOLDILOCKS
Because nobody steals from Big Jack
Horner!
PUSS
No! Not Jack Horner!
MAMA BEAR
Don’t worry, love. We’ll get that
wish, somehow...
GOLDILOCKS
Thank you, Mama.
BABY BEAR
Yeah, because I’VE got a plan! I
can nick a map as good as any old
cat!
GOLDILOCKS
YOU’VE got a plan?
BABY BEAR
What? I’m smart, ain’t I? Ain’t I
Papa?
PAPA BEAR
No, you ain’t well fixed for
brains...
Once the bears are gone, Puss steps from cover. He paces and
plans, his eyes full of hope for the first time in a long
time.
PUSS
Robbing Big Jack Horner... very
risky... But that wish could get me
my lives back-- and my LIFE back.
PUSS (CONT’D)
(decisively)
Goodbye, Pickles!
DOG
Oh no, Pickles. You’re leaving?
PUSS
Perro! Start digging!
DOG
Okay. But, if this Puss in Boots is
such a big deal, maybe we shouldn’t
be desecrating his grave.
PUSS
I don’t think he will mind, because
he--
PUSS (CONT’D)
-- is me!
DOG
Oh-kayee...
PUSS
Uh, normally I have a sword.
It’s like a whole thing, you know?
DOG
(it sinks in)
Pickles, YOU’RE Puss in Boots?!
PUSS
Not yet. But I will be!
With that, Puss runs off, heading toward the horizon at high
speed.
DOG
Wait! I’ll come with you!
PUSS
(already far away)
Sorry, Perro! Puss in Boots walks
alone!
GUARD (O.S.)
Open the gate!
The SERPENT SISTERS (JAN and JO) climb down from the wagon,
bearing an ORNATE BOX. They’re cut-throat mercenary-types,
full of swagger. One of the guards reaches for the box. Jan
holds up a knife, backing him off.
JAN
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hands off the
merchandise. We got this!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 39
PUSS
(self-motivating)
Okay. Just get in, and get out.
Easy-peasy.
DOG (O.S.)
Lemon squeezy!
PUSS
(startled)
Ai! What are you doing here?
DOG
I brought you a sword.
PUSS
That’s not a sword, that’s a stick.
DOG
It’s a stick-sword.
PUSS
Go home!
DOG
My home is where my friends are.
PUSS
Again, not friends.
DOG
Rub for luck?
PUSS
I don’t need luck for this. I am a
highly skilled master cat thief.
Watch!
DOG
You got this!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 40
JACK HORNER
I pronounce this batch...
(more lip-smacking)
Delicious!
Jack wipes his thumb on his smock. The plum stains look
unnervingly like blood.
The bakers exhale, hugely relived. They cart off the pies.
JAN(O.S.)
Mister Horner! The Serpent Sisters
got the goods!
Jack looks off to see the Serpent Sisters entering with the
box. Puss in Boots watches from an air vent as Jack hurries
to meet them.
JACK HORNER
Is it, is it?
(overjoyed)
The map to Wishing Star! Stop
everything. You two come with me.
We must get this to the trophy
room.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 41
JO
You know it took a lot of murdering
to get this map. It all started...
JACK HORNER
(exploding)
TAKE IT TO THE TROPHY ROOM!
PUSS
What the--
Puss swats out the flames and takes cover just as Big Jack
enters with the Serpent Sisters.
JAN
(gasps)
Whoa! Look at all the magic stuff!
JACK HORNER
Yes, I collect enchanted objects,
magical icons, bobbles, gee-gaws,
ladee dah and blah, blah, blah.
JO
Check it out, I’m walkin’ on a
magic carpet!
JAN
Suh-weet! The shrunken ship of the
Lilliputians!
JO
(disbelief)
Shut. Up. Are those unicorn horns?
JACK HORNER
Baby unicorn horns. Half as heavy,
twice as sharp.
JAN
Savage!
JACK HORNER
Bah! They’re trinkets! They’re
nothing compared to the awesome
power of the magic Wishing Star!
Speaking of which--
(gestures impatiently)
Make with the box, sister.
JO
You got it boss! Like I was saying,
the amount of murdering--
JACK HORNER
(exploding)
MAKE WITH THE BOX!!!
JACK HORNER
Excuse me?
JO
Could you do the thumb-thing? Like
in the fairy tale?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 43
JAN
Shhhhh.
JACK HORNER
(bitterly)
It wasn’t a fairy tale, it was only
a nursery rhyme.
JO
Oh, yeah. The lame one.
(reciting)
“Little Jack Horner sat in a
corner, eating a Horner pie--”
A FLASHBACK
AUDIENCE MEMBER
(pointing off)
Look! A magic puppet!
PINOCCHIO
(singing)
Cause I’m a real boy. No strings
attached!
PINOCCHIO (CONT’D)
Thank you! Thank you!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 44
JACK HORNER
Little Jack Horner didn’t have any
magic. He was a pathetic, buttered
baker’s boy.
As Jack attends to the sisters, Puss drops onto the desk and
stealthily picks the locked box with a single claw. CLICK!
Success!
JAN (O.S.)
Uh, Mister Big Jack Horner, Sir? I
barely know her.
JO (O.S.)
Whaddya mean? We’re sisters, ya
goof! We got matching face tattoos!
Puss opens the box. Within, lies the ENCHANTED MAP, carefully
rolled and sealed, shining with supernatural power.
PUSS
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
KITTY
(realizing)
Puss?
PUSS
Kitty?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 45
KITTY
Puss!
PUSS
Kitty!
PUSS (CONT’D)
(recovering)
This is my job.
KITTY
No, this is my job. I’m
double-crossing the bears.
Kitty walks off with the map. Puss grabs onto one end of it
and yanks her back.
PUSS
(pulling on the map)
No, I’m double-crossing the bears.
They tried to hire me earlier
today.
KITTY
(pulling it back)
Well, they tried to hire me two
weeks ago. That makes you Plan B.
Kitty and Puss keep yanking on the map, a back and forth
TUG-OF-WAR. Meanwhile, Jack settles up with the Serpent
Sisters, oblivious to the cats. He takes something from a
high shelf.
JACK HORNER
Ah, there it is. Now, about your
payment...
He holds a jeweled case before the sisters’ eyes and opens
it. THE GOLDEN HAND OF KING MIDAS is nestled inside, its
index finger stabbing toward the ceiling.
JAN
Hold up. You promised us our weight
in gold.
JACK HORNER
I did, didn’t I? Ever hear of the
Midas Touch?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 46
JO
Cool! Dibs!
JO (CONT’D)
Oh no. I misjudged the situation.
Jack turns from them, chuckling, and returns the Midas Finger
to its place. Puss and Kitty take cover as he passes.
PUSS
(whispering)
This is why you don’t cross Jack
Horner!
Puss is plainly terrified. Kitty doesn’t notice. She’s
distracted, staring at Puss’ SCRUFFY BEARD. She gives it a
sharp tug.
KITTY
What is this? Are you a pirate now?
PUSS
Shhh.
KITTY
It’s like a possum crawled on your
face and died.
PUSS
Shhh!
KITTY
Of shame.
PUSS
Please mock me quietly.
KITTY
I hate it. It’s disgusting.
PUSS
Well, I love it. It’s
distinguished.
Baby Bear falls into the room, bouncing down the towering
display cases and landing on the floor in a heap.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 47
GOLDILOCKS
Great plan, Baby. Real cat-like.
JAN
Uhhh, can I go?
JACK HORNER
Pleasure doing blah-blah.
GOLDILOCKS
Puss in Boots?
PUSS
Goldi, Bears.
JACK HORNER
Kitty Softpaws! My you have a lot
of nerve coming back here.
KITTY
Please, I was the best thief you
ever hired!
JACK HORNER
You robbed me!
KITTY
YOU set me up!
GOLDILOCKS
(to Kitty)
You said you were going on a
spiritual retreat!
KITTY
Namaste.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 48
GOLDILOCKS
(to Puss)
And YOU’RE supposed to be dead.
PUSS
I got better.
GOLDILOCKS
Ugh! Just give us the map!
PAPA BEAR
And throw in a dozen pies!
GOLDILOCKS
Eh?
MAMA BEAR
Ohh, have you got any savory pies?
BABY BEAR
Yeah! What flavors you got?
MAMA BEAR
Can we get all of that in a bag to
go?
GOLDILOCKS
Wha-- Would you stop talking about
blooming pies?! Focus!
Goldi grabs the bottle with the Lilliputian Ship and breaks
it over the side of the desk. She waves the broken end
around, flinging Lilliputians into the air.
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
Hand over the map, or I’ll punch
holes in the lot of you!
MAMA BEAR
Oh, bums!
PAPA BEAR
Look out! It’s coming down!
Puss and Kitty see a chance to escape with the map. They jump
onto the MAGIC CARPET and grab the tassels. The carpet rears
back like a spirited horse and flies into the air.
Puss and Kitty shoot from the trophy room, knocking Jack onto
his back.
PUSS
Hah!
Kitty and Puss fly through the factory. Jack emerges from the
trophy room with an ENCHANTED TRIDENT. There’s murder in his
eyes.
JACK HORNER
I hate talking fairy tale animals!
PUSS
Ha! Ha!
KITTY
What?! Get back here!
PUSS
The best thief has won!
KITTY
(waving the map)
You’re right! She did!
PUSS
Huh?
PUSS (CONT’D)
Ah! C'mon!
BACK WITH JACK as the Three Bears BURST from the trophy room
wall and TRAMPLE HIM. Goldi is riding Mama’s back, pointing
toward the cats.
GOLDILOCKS
There! They're getting away!
INTERCUTTING ACTION:
PUSS
No, no, no, no!
KITTY
(running off)
Nice catching up with you, Puss!
Gotta go.
Puss manages to free his beard, but the Three Bears are
closing in. Papa Bear advances on him, snarling.
PAPA BEAR
Here, Kitty, Kitty!
BABY BEAR
Is that a stick?
MAMA BEAR
Ouch, me knuckles!
PAPA BEAR
(unfazed)
You shouldn’t-a done that, mate.
Papa launches Puss into the air with a powerful swipe of his
arm.
PUSS
Aaahhhhhhhgh!
KITTY
(rolling her eyes)
This idiot...
Puss SLAMS into Kitty. The two of them crash through the
window and plunge toward the courtyard.
The cats land in the Serpent Sisters WAGON (still parked and
heaped with bags of gold).
PUSS
Oof!
PUSS
(slapping it away)
Drive, Perro!
DOG
Okie-doke!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 52
Dog snaps the reins, sending the horse into full GALLOP. The
wagon tears out of the courtyard at high speed.
HENCHMAN
There they are!
DOG
Oh, cool! Another member of the
team!
PUSS/KITTY
We are not a team!
PUSS
Eyes on the road!
KITTY
Who is this guy?
DOG
I’m Puss’ best friend.
PUSS
No, he isn’t!
DOG
And his therapy dog!
PUSS
Definitely not!
KITTY
Finally! You need therapy.
PUSS
Give me the map! Trust me!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 53
KITTY
(bitterly)
Trust you?! Like I did in Santa
Coloma?
PUSS
Really? Santa Coloma?
KITTY
Si! SANTA COLOMA!
PUSS
Mine!
KITTY
Mine!
PUSS
(high-pitched)
Miine!
KITTY
(higher pitched)
Mii-iine!
PUSS
Good people! Accept these golden
gifts from Puss in Boots!
PUSS (CONT’D)
Speed up! Go, go, go!
JACK HORNER
(to a Henchman)
Assemble the Baker’s Dozen!
LOCK-AND-LOAD MONTAGE:
FEMALE GUARD
Ahhhhh!
JACK HORNER
I’ll take this! And that! Oh, and
these!
Jack grabs the caged PHOENIX and crams it into the bag’s
endless depths. Still more fairy tale objects go in after it.
The factory gates crash open. Jack’s Pumpkin Tank speeds PAST
CAMERA pulled by four HORNLESS UNICORNS. Jack stands at the
top looking determined. Also onboard, thirteen thuggish
henchmen armed with deadly kitchen utensils: THE BAKER’S
DOZEN.
Jack squints into his crystal ball and sees an image of Puss,
Kitty and Dog galloping across the landscape. He smiles
grimly, tracking them.
JACK HORNER
I’ll get you my kitties-- and your
little dog, too.
The wagon speeds over rugged terrain. Kitty and Puss break
the seal of the folded map and open it with anticipation.
KITTY
What? This is blank! We’ve been
ripped off! Where is the--
KITTY (CONT’D)
Oh yeah, I knew it was going to do
that.
PUSS
(reading)
“The Dark Forest is deep and far.
Within its bounds you'll find the
star ”
KITTY
The Dark forest? No one goes into
The Dark Forest.
PUSS
Or comes out.
KITTY
“A single wish burns true and
bright. This map’s the key, so hold
on tight.”
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 56
KITTY (CONT’D)
Sueltalo.
PUSS
YOU let go.
KITTY
A stick?! What happened to your
sword?
PUSS
Got rid of it. You know, made
things too easy. I needed a
challenge.
KITTY
Yeah, you looked pretty challenged
back there.
PUSS
There is no way I’m letting you
hold the map.
KITTY
Well, there’s no way I’m letting
YOU hold the map!
DOG
I can hold it.
KITTY
Yeah, right! What’s your deal
anyway? You run with the Chihuahua
Gang?
DOG
I don’t think so.
KITTY
I don’t believe you.
DOG
(brightly)
That’s okay. As long as you believe
in yourself!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 57
KITTY
(to Puss)
What? Is he deranged?
PUSS
Yup.
KITTY
(to Dog)
What’s your name?
DOG
Oh, I’ve been called all kinds of
things. Dog, Bad Dog, Stupid Dog,
Hey You, You There, Get Out, Leave
It, Drop It, Big Rat. Small Pig.
Rat Face. Butt Nugget, *BLEEP* for
Brains...You Know, that sorta
thing. But I’ve never had a name
that really stuck. You know, and
belonged to ME.
PUSS
Is he done?
DOG
And you are--?
KITTY
Softpaws. Kitty Softpaws.
DOG
Wow. Yeah, now that’s a good name.
There’s music in a name like that:
Kit-ty Soft-paws!
KITTY
Nice try. Classic con. No one’s
that dumb. No one’s that nice. I
don’t trust you.
PUSS
Me neither. He cannot be trusted.
KITTY
BUT! I trust him more than I trust
you.
The wagon charges away from camera, Puss and Kitty still
staring each other down, not letting go of the map.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 58
PUSS
(sighs)
This trip is going to be fun.
Puss and Kitty are still holding onto the map, but they are
fully focused on the scene before them.
PUSS
This must be... The Dark Forest!
Puss reaches out with his stick-sword, extending his arm into
the wall of trees. The entire spooky tableaux SHIMMERS like a
pond reflection rippled by a tossed stone. It’s all an
ILLUSION, some kind of magic portal...
Puss withdraws the stick and to his horror finds that his
HAND IS MISSING!
PUSS (CONT’D)
Oh my Gah!
KITTY
It’s gone!
KITTY (CONT’D)
It’s back! Que miedo.
PUSS
(nervous chuckle)
Nothing to worry about.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 59
PUSS (CONT’D)
We step through as one. Ready: One,
two-- AFTER YOU.
DOG
Ahhh!
PUSS
Dog? Still alive?
KITTY
Let’s go find out!
PUSS
Wait!
PUSS
Whoa...
KITTY
For a dark forest, this place is
pretty colorful. I wish I had my
quinceañera here.
PUSS
(standing up)
The Wishing Star is in here
somewhere.
PUSS (CONT’D)
(sweetly)
Kitty, may I please see the map?
KITTY
No.
PUSS
Seriously? You won’t let me hold it
for even one minute?
KITTY
Nope. Not even for one second.
PUSS
Come on, Kitty. You’ve got to--
Puss lowers his head and takes off his hat, a subtle antic.
PUSS (CONT’D)
...TRUST ME...
DOG
(noticing)
Wait, wait, what’s going on with
his eyes? They’re getting bigger!
Oh, Kitty, you gotta trust
him...Look at those eyes!
KITTY
Really? You call that cute?
DOG
Oh! Look at her! Those eyes are
even bigger than yours! Do whatever
she wants, Puss!
DOG (CONT’D)
Ohhh, wait a second! So poofy!
DOG (CONT’D)
No! With the paws! Come on--
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 61
DOG (CONT’D)
(gasps)
With the hat? It’s ALL... SO...
CUTE! Cuteness overload!
PUSS
Can we look at the map now?
Kitty relents. They roll Dog out of the way and spread the
map on the ground. Stardust begins to swirl across it,
inscribing another rhyme.
KITTY
(reading)
“Follow this enchanted chart, it
knows your path and knows your
heart.”
PUSS
(points at avatars)
Is that us?
Puss touches the map. When he does, magic dust shimmers and
sketches out a CUSTOMIZED ROUTE to the Wishing Star.
PUSS (CONT’D)
(reading the map)
It says we must go through the
Valley of Incineration, over
Undertaker Ridge, through the Cave
of Lost Souls...
The forest around them magically readjusts, conforming to the
map. Rocks, trees and topography shift, revealing a
FRIGHTENING LANDSCAPE: valleys of fire, avalanche battered
canyons, mountaintops lanced by lightning bolts...
PUSS (CONT’D)
(aghast)
Really?
KITTY
Let me take a look.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 62
Kitty pushes Puss away and places her paw on the map. The map
sparkles and shows a different path.
KITTY (CONT’D)
(reading the map)
What? Swamp of Infinite Sorrows.
Mountains of Misery, The Abyss of
Eternal Loneliness?
KITTY (CONT’D)
There’s something wrong with this
map.
PUSS
I guess there’s a different
terrible path for everyone.
KITTY
It’s almost like the forest doesn’t
want anyone to make a wish.
DOG
I don’t even have a wish, but can I
try it?
Dog steps onto the map. Once more, the landscape shifts, this
time revealing a path that passes beneath a RAINBOW ARCH and
into FLOWERING MEADOWS. Bird song and butterflies fill the
air.
DOG (CONT’D)
Mine says we skip through The
Pocket Full O’Posies, and then
drift down the River of Relaxation--
oh, that sounds fun.
KITTY
No fair! Why does he get the good
ones?
DOG
...Wander the Field Of Quick And
Easy Solutions, and arrive at the
star. Oh wow! That sounds
wonderful!
DOG (CONT’D)
Oh-- but this is your quest. I
don’t wanna impose.
PUSS/KITTY
You hold the map.
DOG
Really?
KITTY
But, don’t you cross me-- or your
name will be Perro Muerto.
DOG
Okie-dokey.
PUSS
Wait. Is that--?
High in the sky, a flash of light. Goldi and the bears FALL
through a magic portal and plunge into the forest canopy,
SCREAMING.
PUSS (CONT’D)
It’s raining bears, time to go!
DISSOLVE TO:
GOLDILOCKS
Ohhhh, I’m telling ya. When we get
that wish it’ll make everything
JUST RIGHT for all of us.
PAPA BEAR
Will it make us rich? Rich enough
to hibernate all year round?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 64
GOLDILOCKS
The richest.
BABY BEAR
Will we be like big time thieves?
GOLDILOCKS
The biggest!
BABY BEAR
You know that suit Jack Horner
wears?
GOLDILOCKS
Yeah?
BABY BEAR
I’m gonna have one-a them.
GOLDILOCKS
Yeah!
BABY BEAR
Only mine will be purpler. Like,
twice as purpler!
GOLDILOCKS
The purplest!
BABY BEAR
Noice! Big time thieves, comin’
through!
PAPA BEAR
I’ll race ya!
MAMA BEAR
What kind of wish can do all that,
Goldi?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 65
GOLDILOCKS
I can’t tell ya. If you say what
your wish is, then it don’t come
true. Sorry-- Birthday Wish Rules.
MAMA BEAR
Oh come on, mother-daughter secret?
GOLDILOCKS
Mama. Just drop it, please.
MAMA BEAR
Oh...okay.
GOLDILOCKS
Eh, c’mon. We got some cats to
catch.
DOG
Birthday wish rules? What’s that
mean?
PUSS
It means I’m not telling you my
wish.
KITTY
He doesn’t want to tell us because
it’s something stupid. Like
conditioner for that thing on his
face.
PUSS
It’s distinguished!
DOG
What about you, Kitty? What are you
gonna wish for?
KITTY
Um-- can’t tell you. Birthday Wish
Rules. Or whatever.
PUSS
I bet your wish is something
stupid, like-- OOOF!
A GIANT ROSE bursts from the ground and sends Puss tumbling.
Kitty LAUGHS, but then ANOTHER GIANT ROSE shoots up,
launching her skyward.
KITTY
Ahhhh!
DOG
This must be the Pocket Full O’
Posies.
PUSS
Out of the way, demon flowers!
KITTY
It’s pruning time!
Kitty and Puss start HACKING at the flowers. Every time they
chop one flower down, two more grow back in its place.
DOG
Awww, thank you!
Soon, the cats are overwhelmed, sandwiched close together in
the middle of a HUGE BOUQUET. Kitty’s face is pressed right
into Puss’ beard.
KITTY
We don’t have time for this!
PUSS
Perro, I thought your path was
supposed to be easy!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 67
DOG
You know, I think all you have to
do is stop and smell the roses.
KITTY
Seriously? Ugh.
PUSS
This is stupid.
KITTY
All I smell is bull--
DOG
Shhhh. Watch.
Dog takes a big whiff of the flowers that are trapping Puss
and Kitty.
DOG (CONT’D)
(exhale)
Ahhhhh.
The flowers lower Puss and Kitty to the ground and release
them.
DOG (CONT’D)
Don’t rush through it. Take your
time and really appreciate what’s
right in front of you.
DOG (CONT’D)
Gracias.
Puss and Kitty trudge along behind him.
KITTY
Ugh, his path is so corny.
PUSS
And cheesy.
KITTY
And lame.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 68
PUSS
And weird, like him.
KITTY
Yeah. Why are you so ridiculous,
Dog? What’s your story?
DOG
My story? Oh! It’s actually a very
funny story!
DOG (CONT’D)
Back when I was a pup, me and my
littermates lived with a family. A
family full of pranksters who liked
to play hide-and-seek. And I was
always IT. Pick on the little guy,
am I right?
DOG (CONT’D)
They tried putting me in a packing
crate, a dumpster... no matter how
hard they tried, I’d ALWAYS find
them.
DOG (CONT’D)
So one day, they get creative and
they put me in a sock-- with a rock
in it! And then they throw me in a
river!
KITTY
Wow. That is the saddest funny
story I’ve ever heard.
DOG
Well, joke’s on them. That sock
they put me in? I grew into it!
(MORE)
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 69
DOG (CONT’D)
So I got a great story and a free
sweater out of it. Win-win!
KITTY
Dude, you didn’t win! You of all
people should have a wish!
DOG
I already have a comfy sweater and
two best friends. I’ve got
everything I could wish for-- no
magic required.
Puss and Kitty take that in-- then shrug and start sniffing
flowers. WIDE as FLOWERS PART to reveal a clear path forward.
DOG (CONT’D)
(big sniff)
Oh, lovely.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears travel through the meadow that
the cats and Dog passed through earlier.
BABY BEAR
Oh, we’re getting really close! I
can smell two cats, a dog, and--
(sniff-sniff)
-- pie?
JACK HORNER
Well, if it isn’t the idiots who
tried to steal from me!
BABY BEAR
(proudly)
Hey, he remembers us!
JACK HORNER
(pulling)
Behold, Excalib-- Excalib--
Excalibur!
With a mighty effort, Jack pulls out the fabled SWORD IN THE
STONE-- its blade still sunk in a heavy boulder.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 70
MAMA BEAR
He’s gaining on us!
JACK HORNER
(muttering)
Ok-- a little left. That’s it!
GOLDILOCKS
Go faster!
PAPA BEAR
He’s up my back door!
Jack takes a massive swing, clubbing Goldi and the bears off
the path. SLO-MO: Mama cradles Goldi, protecting her as they
tumble down a rocky slope.
MAMA BEAR
(slo-mo voice)
Goldi!
BAKER #12
On it! You don’t have to tell me
twice.
The bakers leap to the forest floor and start HACKING away at
the flowers with their razor-sharp kitchen utensils.
BAKER #4
Jerry! No!
It spits out the baker’s CLEAVER too. The blade sinks into
the tank RIGHT NEXT TO JACK’S HEAD!
JACK HORNER
Nope!
Jack grabs his nanny-bag and takes cover on the side of the
tank.
ETHICAL BUG
I’m not a magic locust. Why, I’m
not a locust at all.
JACK HORNER
What are you, then? Some sort of
demon grasshopper? A deadly fairy?
Put a spell on the forest, then.
ETHICAL BUG
I don’t cast spells.
JACK HORNER
Well, what DO you do?
ETHICAL BUG
I-- I judge you. I sit on your
shoulder and judge your actions and
the quality of your character.
(jumps on Jack’s shoulder)
I’m your conscience!
JACK HORNER
I really did overpack.
BAKER #5
Help me, Jack! Help!
ETHICAL BUG
Aren’t you gonna help him, Jack?
You’re losing a lot of men!
JACK HORNER
(conspiratorially)
I’m not really stressing about the
manpower. I’ve got a bottomless bag
of magic weapons. These babies are
gonna get me that wish even after
this whole team is dead and gone.
ETHICAL BUG
Now, now, Jack as your conscience -
Jack withdraws the PHOENIX from the bag. Ethical Bug looks
seriously impressed.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 73
JACK HORNER
Pretty boss flamethrower, right?
ETHICAL BUG
I really have my work cut out for
me on this one...
Jack sprays fire everywhere. Some of his own men are caught
in the blaze!
BAKERS
Ahhhhhhh!
JACK HORNER
Don’t be near where I’m flame-
throwing!
CLOSE ON THE MAP: The Avatars of Dog and the cats are getting
closer to the star. Jack Horner’s avatar is stuck in the
POCKET FULL OF POSIES location, not moving.
PUSS
Do your job, demon flowers...
PUSS (CONT’D)
(sotto)
Soon...
DOG
Okay Kitty, I think I’ve got it
now.
Dog turns his face to Kitty. It’s hideous. Big veiny eyes, a
strained smile.
DOG (CONT’D)
Trust... meeee.....
KITTY
Easy, easy, you’re going to give
yourself a hernia. Here, one more
time. Like this.
KITTY (CONT’D)
... TRUST ME...
DOG
(melting)
Awwwww!
(shakes it off)
But of course, I trust you and
Puss, even without the eyes.
KITTY
Yeah? Big mistake.
DOG
Whaddya mean? You’re my friends.
KITTY
You know what trust gets you? A
sock, a rock, and a swim in the
river.
DOG
But-- you have to trust SOMEBODY,
right?
KITTY
Not me. Whenever I’ve let my guard
down I‘ve been double-crossed,
declawed, played and betrayed.
KITTY (CONT’D)
Never again. I’m a solo act.
I keep my secrets and I play my
cards close. That’s how you get a
winning hand.
KITTY (CONT’D)
Take it from me. Never trust
anyone.
PUSS
Kitty, I’ve been thinking...
KITTY
Thinking about what?
PUSS
My beautiful beard. It’s very
distinguished, yes, but it does
deprive the world a good look at--
(with reverence)
THE FACE. So, if it will make you
happy, I could be convinced
to--
KITTY
I’ve gotten used to it.
PUSS
Wait, what?
KITTY
The beard. Keep it.
PUSS
Ah, well, um, you see--
(breaking down)
Kitty please! Get this itchy thing
off me! It’s like a fever on my
face!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 76
KITTY
Hold on, is the great Puss in Boots
asking for help?
PUSS
Sí, help! You were right, the beard
is disgusting.
KITTY
And?
PUSS
And it’s like a possum crawled on
my face.
KITTY
And?
PUSS
And died of shame.
KITTY
Okay, okay, possum face.
I won’t make you beg.
PUSS
Hey! Slow down. Ow! Go with the
grain! You gotta go with the grain!
KITTY
I know what I’m doing. I’m a master
of the blade.
(winks)
Right, perrito?
PUSS
What. What’s funny? Nothing should
be funny.
KITTY
Shh. ¡Cállate!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 77
KITTY (CONT’D)
There’s the handsome face I
remember. The face I haven’t seen
since--
PUSS
Ai!
KITTY
--Santa Coloma.
DOG
Ahh, yes! Santa Coloma!
KITTY
You had that coming.
KITTY (CONT’D)
Here. You can have my gatito blade.
PUSS
Um-- Thank you?
KITTY
Better than a stick.
True enough. Puss slips the knife into his belt and CHUCKS
the stick toward the shore.
PUSS
Vaya con Dios, stick-sword.
PUSS (CONT’D)
Perro, what are you doing!?
PUSS
(calling out)
Perro! Where did that crazy dog go?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 78
KITTY
I think you like him.
PUSS
No, no I don’t.
KITTY
I think you’re ready to name him.
PUSS
No, I just need his easy path to
get my wish.
KITTY
You mean my wish.
DOG
(stick in mouth)
Sorry!
The Baker’s Dozen jump off from the tank, brandishing weapons
and looking scary as hell.
BAKER #6
(psychotic)
Hahahahahahahahahah.
BAKER #7
(bestial)
Grrrrrrrrr.
PUSS
The Baker’s Dozen.
KITTY
(re: Dog)
Let him go!
JACK HORNER
Oh, I don’t know, I might keep him.
(to Dog)
Would you like a treat?
KITTY
Nice granny bag, Little Jack.
JACK HORNER
It’s not a granny bag. It is a
magic nanny-bag.
ETHICAL BUG
(gasp)
You’re not going to shoot a puppy
are you Jack?
JACK HORNER
Yeah, in the face. Why?
WHAM! A baker flies in from nowhere and slams into the side
of Jack’s tank.
JACK HORNER
What the!
GOLDILOCKS
Give us the map, or the baker-man
gets it!
BABY BEAR
Yeah!
JACK HORNER
I don’t even have the map, Little
Bo Creep.
Baby chucks the baker. He SLAMS into the side of the tank.
Jack is jolted by the impact, dropping Dog.
Dog makes a break for it, scampering across the forest floor.
Jack’s henchmen lunge for him.
Baby Bear points at Puss in Boots from the top of the canyon.
BABY BEAR
Puss in Boots has the map!
PAPA BEAR
Let’s get him!
Goldi and the Bears charge toward Puss! The Baker’s Dozen
spring into action as well! The battle is joined!
KITTY
(to Puss)
I’ve got a plan. First one to the
dog gets the wish.
Kitty charges right into the fray, letting lose with a full-
throated WAR CRY. She’s in her element. Puss, decidedly, is
NOT. He stands there, blinking...
PUSS
What? Ah come on!
BACK AND FORTH ACTION as Kitty, Goldi and the bears brawl
with the bakers.
JACK HORNER
(mutters)
Steady...
Jack fires, but a CLUMSY BAKER jumps in the way at the last
moment. The unicorn horn sticks him right in the butt and he
EXPLODES into a cloud of magic glitter. Jack LAUGHS!
PUSS
What?
JACK HORNER
So that’s what it does. Cool!
ETHICAL BUG
(judgey)
No! Not cool!
BAKER #11
Ah you shot me J--
JACK HORNER
Ah, the sight’s off!
BAKER #7
I got him, Mister Horner!
JACK HORNER
My bad.
PUSS
Oh no.
The Wolf locks eyes with Puss and draws his sickles. Puss’
fur stands on end. The beat of his heart drumming on the
soundtrack, accelerating as--
HE PANICS, turns, runs away. Dog notices and runs after him.
DOG
Puss wait!
KITTY
Perro?
Suddenly, Goldi charges in, riding Papa Bear. She KNOCKS the
distracted KITTY DOWN with a blow from her staff.
GOLDILOCKS
Thanks for the map, Softpaws!
Goldi snatches the map from the forest floor and lets out a
triumphant BEAR-LIKE ROAR.
JACK HORNER
No, no, no!
KITTY
No!
BABY BEAR
Oi! You’ve just been crimed by The
Three Bears Crime Family!
MAMA BEAR
Oh yeah!
GOLDILOCKS
So long, ya plonkers!
KITTY
Voy a hacer alfombras de baño de
todos ustedes!
(exploding)
Puss! Where are you?!
DOG
Puss? Puss?
DOG (CONT’D)
Puss! Puss, what’s wrong?
PUSS
Thank you, perrito.
DOG
What’s going on with you, Puss?
PUSS
I am down to my last life. And I am
afraid.
DOG
Well-- it’s okay to be afraid.
PUSS
No! Not for Puss in Boots. I am
supposed to be a fearless hero, a
legend-- but without lives to
spare, I am nothing.
PUSS (CONT’D)
I need that wish to get my lives
back.
DOG
You should tell Kitty, she would
understand.
PUSS
No. She cannot hear of this.
KITTY
¿Adónde fueron ese idiota y su
perro?
She sees Puss and Dog and is about to call out, when she
overhears:
PUSS
Kitty will never trust me again.
Not after Santa Coloma.
DOG
But that’s just one bad heist-
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 84
PUSS
Santa Coloma wasn’t a heist,
perrito. It was a church...
FLASHBACK VIGNETTE:
PUSS (V.O.)
With a priest... and guests... and
Kitty. Everything but me. I ran
away then, too.
END FLASHBACK
DOG
Oh.
(it sinks in)
Ohh.
(it truly sinks in)
Ohhh! You left her at the altar?
PUSS
It was wrong, I know.
PUSS (CONT’D)
I am ashamed. I just wish I hadn’t
hurt her so badly.
(sighs)
I regret that day...
DOG
So maybe you should tell that to
Kitty. Might make you feel better.
Might make her feel better too...
Kitty looks moved. She withdraws into the forest and then
makes a big show of stepping back out, making lots of noise.
KITTY
Puss? Dog? Oh, there you two are!
What happened back there?
PUSS
Kitty...I lost the map. I messed
up.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 85
KITTY
(waving it off)
We’ll get it back. We’ve been in
worse pickles.
PUSS
Who told you that name?!
KITTY
What name?
PUSS
Oh-- um-- nothing.
(recovering)
The bears! We have to find them
before they find the star!
GOLDILOCKS
(excited)
Oh, we are SO CLOSE!
Goldilocks and the Three Bears are making good time. Goldi is
leading the way, reading the map. Papa and Baby Bear jog
behind her, happy and upbeat.
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
It’s finally happening.
PAPA BEAR
I can taste that wish now. And you
know what it tastes like?
BABY BEAR
Pies?
PAPA BEAR
Pies!
BABY BEAR
Oh! It’s gonna be wicked.
PAPA BEAR
Yeah! Imagine us: a BIG TIME crime
syndicate!
MAMA BEAR
Not a big time crime syndicate,
love. A big time crime FAMILY.
Isn’t that right, Goldi?
(no answer)
Goldi?
GOLDILOCKS
What--
PAPA BEAR
Hey! Look, the map’s going all
fizzly!
BABY BEAR
What’d you do?! Give it me!
GOLDILOCKS
Hey!
BABY BEAR
No, no, no, no. Ah! Goldi! No
biting! Ow!
GOLDILOCKS
You’re the smash, I’m the grab. I
hold the map, you got it?
BABY BEAR
(squealing)
Okay!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 87
GOLDILOCKS
(reading)
“To find your wish, adjust your
view. What you seek may be right in
front of you.” Well that’s a load
of rubbish. What’s that supposed to
mean?
BABY BEAR
Right in front of us...
MAMA BEAR
It looks like our cabin back home!
GOLDILOCKS
You really think our cabin is in
the middle of The Dark Forest?
PAPA BEAR
Baby, give it the old sniff test.
BABY BEAR
Something’s cooking.
PAPA BEAR
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
GOLDILOCKS
No!
GOLDILOCKS (O.S.)
Don’t open that door!
Wham! The bears open the door and enter, smiling broadly.
BABY BEAR
We are home! Hello, door.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 88
GOLDILOCKS
Oh, don’t go inside...
MAMA BEAR
Maybe just a quick pop in.
BABY BEAR
Hello chairs!
PAPA BEAR
What say we hibernate?
BABY BEAR
Hello, Honey!
PAPA BEAR
Hello my old friend. I have missed
you so....
MAMA BEAR
Look, Goldi! Porridge!
(sniff, sniff)
And it’s made just the way you like
it.
BABY BEAR
No matter how you make it, she
doesn’t like it.
GOLDILOCKS
Stop it, all of you.
MAMA BEAR
Maybe our wishes have been granted.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 89
GOLDILOCKS
Just stop! It’s not our wish
granted, it’s an obstacle. It’s the
forest playing tricks!
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
This isn’t real. None of this is--
Little Goldi climbs into the third bed, snuggles up with her
book and falls asleep.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 90
MAMA BEAR
This was it.
GOLDILOCKS
What was it, Mama?
MAMA BEAR
The day a little orphan girl broke
into our cabin and stole our
hearts. The day when our world
became just right.
DOG
(calling up)
How’s it going? Can you see
anything up there?
PUSS
(calling down)
Not yet, Perrit--
Puss SLIPS.
PUSS (CONT’D)
--OH!
KITTY
You okay?
PUSS
(covering)
Sí, I am good... so good.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 91
KITTY
If you wanted to hold my hand, all
you had to is ask.
PUSS
Um... just... feel free to pull me
up whenever you get a chance.
KITTY
I was just remembering the last
time I offered you my hand. Only,
that time I believe you had cold
feet.
Puss smiles weakly. Kitty finally pulls him back up and turns
her attention back to the climb.
PUSS
Kitty, about that day... Puss in
Boots is not supposed to be afraid,
but outside that church in Santa
Coloma-- that was the first time I
ever felt fear. So I ran.
PUSS (CONT’D)
It was a mistake, Kitty.
KITTY
It’s okay.
PUSS
No, no-- it was cowardly.
KITTY
It’s okay.
PUSS
You alone at the altar...
KITTY
Puss--
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 92
PUSS
In your beautiful, poofy wedding
dress.
KITTY
Puss, it’s okay. I didn’t show up
either.
PUSS
Wait, what?
PUSS (CONT’D)
What do you mean you didn’t show
up?
KITTY
Well, I knew I could never compete
with your one true love.
PUSS
Who?
KITTY
Yourself! “The legend”.
PUSS
Oh.
KITTY
I wasn’t going to show up for that
guy.
Kitty lifts the brim of Puss’ hat and looks in his eyes.
KITTY (CONT’D)
But, you don’t seem like that guy
anymore.
Kitty playfully yanks Puss’ hat down over his face and climbs
off. Puss is left behind on the branch to work it out.
DOG (O.S.)
Everything okay up there?
DOG (CONT’D)
I’m giving you a Thumbs-Up, just so
you know.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 93
WITH KITTY near the top of the tree. She’s staring off as
Puss clambers up to join her. Kitty points into the distance.
KITTY
Puss. Look.
JACK HORNER
What do you think, bug? Do I wait
for the cats to steal the map and
then kill them? Or do I just kill
everybody all at once?
ETHICAL BUG
You know, I’m starting to think you
don’t appreciate the value of a
life.
JACK HORNER
What? No! I mean, I love THESE
guys.
JACK HORNER
You know I never had much as a kid.
Just loving parents, stability, a
mansion and a thriving baked goods
enterprise for me to inherit... you
know, useless crap like that.
ETHICAL BUG
Oh, well what’s that?
JACK HORNER
All of the magic in the world. For
me. And no one else gets any. Is
that so much?
ETHICAL BUG
Yes!
JACK HORNER
Agree to disagree.
The unicorns draw JACK’S TANK over the human bridge. The
bakers groan as it rolls over their backs.
The unicorns reach the edge of the canyon, but Jack’s men can
no longer bear the tank’s terrible weight. The human bridge
COLLAPSES! The tank and the unfortunate bakers plunge into
the deep divide.
Jack and Ethical Bug watch as the tank EXPLODES on the canyon
floor. A single, surviving baker holds onto the cliff edge
for dear life.
BAKER #2
Help?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 95
ETHICAL BUG
Sweet Mother of Goose, Jack!
JACK HORNER
Well, you know what they say: Can’t
bake a pie without losing a dozen
men.
ETHICAL BUG
That was horrible! Your wish is
horrible. YOU’RE horrible! You’re--
you’re an irredeemable monster!
JACK HORNER
(mocking)
Wha-wha-what took you so long?
Idiot.
ETHICAL BUG
Ohhhhhhhh!
JACK HORNER
You’re not chatty are you?
BAKER #2
(shaking her head)
Uh uh.
The cats and Dog approach the cottage warily, like commandos
on a mission behind the lines.
KITTY
(to Puss)
Okay, you take the window, I’ll
take the chimney.
DOG
What do I take?
PUSS
You take it easy, Perrito. We need
you to stay here and, um...
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 96
KITTY
And guard our rear.
PUSS
Yeah, yeah!
DOG
On your six! Got your rears
eyeballed and covered! Hands in,
crew!
DOG (CONT’D)
Ready-- Go TEAM FRIENDSHIP!
PUSS
(hating it)
Team Friendship? I did not agree to
this.
KITTY
Yeah. Do better. Try harder.
DOG
Well, just a placeholder name, you
know. I’ll workshop it, okay? Go
get ‘em, tiger!
PUSS
Hey! Take it easy!
KITTY
Ready to get our wish back?
PUSS
Our wish?
KITTY
Well, I’ve been thinking. Maybe--
if you play your cards right-- we
could share the wish.
PUSS
Share the wish...
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 97
Baby’s SNORING, his head resting on the table beside the map.
Mama and Goldilocks are still looking at glowing visions of
the past.
GOLDILOCKS
It’s gone! Wake up! Someone’s
nicked the map!
PAPA BEAR
What’s all this-- what’s all this
bother about?!
MAMA BEAR
Oi! Did you not hear her?! THE MAP
IS MISSING!
GOLDILOCKS
Somebody took it!
PUSS
Hola...
BABY BEAR
Oi! You criming us when we just
crimed you? No crime-backs!
GOLDILOCKS
You’re dead cat meat.
PUSS
Okay, okay, okay. It’s all...
YOURS!
Puss tosses the map high into the air. It’s grabbed by Kitty,
who’s standing on a shelf full of bric-a-brac and keepsakes.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 98
GOLDILOCKS
Nowhere to go, Softpaws.
KITTY
Really? Let’s see what the map has
to say...
Since Goldi isn’t holding the map anymore, the COTTAGE ITSELF
begins to drift apart, separating into individual pieces as
the forest conforms to Kitty’s path.
GOLDILOCKS
No!
MAMA BEAR
Our cabin!
BABY BEAR
My honey!
PAPA BEAR
What the Dickens?!
DOG
Uh-oh.
GOLDILOCKS
Oh no you don’t!
PAPA BEAR
We’re coming, Gold---Oh!
BABY BEAR
I’ll get it. I’ll get it!
PAPA BEAR
Oh get off me you big lump!
BABY BEAR
Hold still!
DOG
Hold on! I’m coming teaaammm!
DOG (CONT’D)
Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
KITTY
Shall we dance?
PUSS
Huh?
KITTY
I’ll lead.
The cats clasp hands and lock eyes. They begin to DANCE THEIR
WAY UP toward the map. They ascend higher and higher, passing
Goldilocks and the bears.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 100
MAMA BEAR
Ah! Too hot!
Kitty and Puss spin. Kitty kicks another porridge bowl into
Baby’s face. Baby hollers and falls away.
BABY BEAR
Ah! Too cold, brain freeze!
PAPA BEAR
Ahhh, that is just righhhhht!
The map is still floating above Puss and Kitty, but there’s
no remaining objects they can use to reach it. They share a
knowing smile and tap out a flamenco beat, heel-to-heel,
stomping skyward, dancing through the very air.
GOLDILOCKS
Eh? What the--?
Finally, The cats reach the map and pull it free. They each
hold an end of it, their momentum causing them to spin as the
background goes soft focus and the scene gets VERY ROMANTIC.
The mountaintop SPLITS and divides them. The cats and the
bears end up on two separate peaks, rapidly moving apart.
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
No!
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
Oi! Forget something?
KITTY
They got Perrito!
PUSS
Don’t worry, we can track them--
with this!
KITTY
Wait! Stop!
KITTY (CONT’D)
Puss, watch out!
PUSS
Kitty!
KITTY
Puss!
PUSS
Look!
The map shows the avatars of the Bears and Dog nearby.
KITTY
There! There they are. Just down
there.
PUSS
You get go Perrito. I’ll find a way
out of here.
Kitty nods, holds her paw up against Puss’, then RUNS OFF
into the forest.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 102
Puss walks though the cave, holding the map. Crystal pillars
tower above him, catching reflections. Puss sees multiple
images of himself, vanishing into infinity. UNEARTHLY VOICES
ECHO faintly.
ECHOING VOICE
Puss...
SWORDSMAN PUSS
Hey, good lookin’!
PUSS
Ohmygah! What is that?!
GAMBLER PUSS
Why so jumpy, amigo?
PUSS
Whoa... what’s happening?
PAMPLONA PUSS
(mouth full)
Hello, Puss. Gazpacho?
GAMBLER PUSS
Long time no see!
VANITY PUSS
Always a pleasure to see me!
GUITARIST PUSS
(singing)
Hola, Number Nine!
BURLY PUSS
(pumping iron)
It’s a proper party now that all
nine of us are here.
TIPSY PUSS
You know what? I love you guys!
PUSS
So, you are my-- my former lives?
VANITY PUSS
(gazing into hand mirror)
Reflections of the good old days.
PUSS
(unsure)
Okay?
BURLY PUSS
Back when we were larger than life.
SWORDSMAN PUSS(O.S.)
A legend!
DANCING PUSS
We dance!
GUTARIST PUSS
We sing!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 104
BURLY PUSS
We are strong--
GUITARIST PUSS
Número nueve, you remember this
one?
(singing)
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
ALL REFLECTIONS
(singing)
Who is your favorite fearless hero?
PAPA BEAR
Well that’s it. Game over, innit?
Them cats stole the stolen map we
stole and we ended up with didley
squat. Nothing!
MAMA BEAR
Well, maybe we could be happy
without a wish.
BABY BEAR
What are we doing? They ain’t
coming back. Goodbye, purple
trousers.
GOLDILOCKS
Oh, they’ll come back--
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 105
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
For him!
DOG
You’re darn tootin’! Puss and Kitty
always rescue me when I’m
kidnapped... which happens a lot...
Cause we’re a TEAM.
MAMA BEAR
Aw, that’s lovely.
DOG
Yep! Team FRIENDSHIP.
MAMA BEAR
Ugh no, that’s a crap name.
DOG
Well, we’re still workshopping it.
BABY BEAR
Them cats ain’t gonna risk their
lives for this daft little pup.
GOLDILOCKS
You’re just saying that because you
want to eat him.
BABY BEAR
I do not.
GOLDILOCKS
Stop thinking about your belly,
Baby. In fact, stop thinking
PERIOD. You’ll just hurt yourself,
you muppet.
DOG
Ha, ha! Muppet.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 106
BABY BEAR
And why should I listen to a
porridge-stealing orphan like you?
You’re not even a bear.
DOG
Zing!
GOLDILOCKS
Hah! I’m more of a bear than you
are.
DOG
She got you!
BABY BEAR
You’re nothing but a low-rent
Cinderella.
DOG
Oooooh!
GOLDILOCKS
Well, that’s rich coming from you,
Baby. Cause you know what you are?
DOG
(having a blast)
Wait for it...
GOLDILOCKS
You’re a daft, fat, slow-thinking,
no-reading, lyme-diseased-flea-
ridden-dingleberry-bear!
DOG
Boom!
BABY BEAR
(sullen)
I haven’t got dingleberries!
PAPA BEAR
No, you do. You do have ‘em.
DOG
Dingleberries!
BABY BEAR
Oi! You shut up, you little mutt,
or I’ll cut you from pooper to
snooter.
DOG
Ooh, I’m in the mix now!
DOG (CONT’D)
Okay, okay, here we go: you’re ALL
a bunch of knuckle-dragging, honey-
scrounging, grub-munching...
Goldi and Baby are shocked at Dog’s outburst (much of which
will be tastefully *bleeped*.)
DOG (CONT’D)
Oafish *bleep* weed, mangey, butt
*bleep*-ing, *bleep* chompin’,
*bleep* nuggets--
DOG (CONT’D)
*Bleep* *bleep* *bleep* and YOUR
snooter!
PAPA BEAR
Ha, ha. I like the cut of his jib.
DOG
Ah, this is great. Razzin’ and
ribbin’ and barbin’ and poopin’ and
snootin’. Wish I had a family like
this.
MAMA BEAR
I like his jib as well, Goldi.
Let’s keep him.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 108
SUPRISE REVEAL: Mama and the others look back to see that Dog
has VANISHED. His place on the stump has been filled by a
crude, smiling DOG-DOLL fashioned from a pinecone.
GOLDILOCKS
Wha--?
PAPA BEAR
Huh? Where’d he go?
BABY BEAR
Gah! We said no crime backs!
GOLDILOCKS
No, Baby, wait!
BABY BEAR
Oww! Not the bees!
Back with Puss and the EIGHT LIVES, dancing and singing. Puss
hits a triumphant high note, finishing big.
PUSS
(singing)
The legend will never die!
SWORDSMAN PUSS
Bravo! Ha, ha!
BURLY PUSS
The voice of an angel!
GUITARIST PUSS
One more number!
PUSS
No, no, sorry, fellas. This has
been fun, but-- could you tell me
how to get out of here? I’ve got to
get back to Dog and Kitty.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 109
BURLY PUSS
Whoa! I thought you were going to
get the wish. You got the map. You
don’t need them.
SWORDSMAN PUSS
Yeah! Get those lives back. Become
the legend again. Town to town.
TIPSY PUSS
Party to party.
VANITY PUSS
Puss in Boots walks alone!
PUSS
(sotto)
Yeah... Puss in Boots walks alone.
PUSS (CONT’D)
Was the legend so big there was no
room for anyone else?
BURLY PUSS
Yeah, you changed man.
GAMBLER PUSS
I hear he’s best friends with a Dog
now.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 110
SWORDSMAN PUSS
And he doesn’t even have a sword!
(laughs)
Some hero.
BURLY PUSS
You have become a scaredy cat! We
should call him “Wuss in Boots.”
ALL LIVES
Ha, ha, ha!
TIPSY PUSS
No, no, no, no! Didn’t you hear?
His new name is “Pickles!”
GAMBLER PUSS
So lame! Ha, ha, ha!
VANITY PUSS
Ha, ha! Where’s your litter box,
Pickles?
PUSS
You know what, you guys are
jerks... which is VERY conflicting
for me. I’ll find my own way out!
Adios!
PAMPLONA PUSS
Oh? You think you’re better than
us? Without us, you will always
live a life of--
WOLF (O.S.)
FEAR.
PUSS
You!
WOLF
I do love the smell of fear.
(sniff)
It’s INTOXICATING.
TIPSY PUSS
It is?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 111
The Wolf draws his sickles and shatters Tipsy’s column with a
single blow. SMASH!
WOLF
Sorry to crash this party with your
past lives-- or past deaths, as I
like to call them.
PAMPLONA PUSS spits out his gazpacho. The Wolf smashes his
reflection.
WOLF (CONT’D)
I was there to witness all of them.
Each frivolous end. But you didn’t
even notice me. Because Puss in
Boots laughs in the face of death.
Right?
WOLF (CONT’D)
But you’re not laughing now.
PUSS
You are no bounty hunter! You are--
WOLF
DEATH. And I don’t mean it
metaphorically or rhetorically, or
poetically or theoretically or in
any other fancy way.
The Wolf looms over Puss.
WOLF (CONT’D)
I’m DEATH STRAIGHT-UP. And I’ve
come for you, Puss in Boots.
PUSS
But-- I’m still alive.
WOLF
You know, I’m not a cat person. I
find the very idea of nine lives
absurd.
(MORE)
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 112
WOLF (CONT’D)
And you didn’t value any of them.
So why don’t I do us both a favor
and take this last one now?
GAMBLER PUSS
That’s cheating!
WOLF
Shhh. Don’t tell.
SWORDSMAN PUSS
Run Puss in Boots! Make the wish!
WOLF
Go ahead, run for it. Makes it more
fun for me.
Kitty and Dog reach a ridge looking down at the cave. They
see Puss rush out and head into the forest with the map.
DOG
Hey, Puss!
Kitty waves. Puss sees her, but, consumed with fear, he keeps
running.
DOG (CONT’D)
Puss! Puss, we’re here!
DOG (CONT’D)
(to Kitty)
Where-- where’s he going?
PUSS
Whoa.
The surface of the star. Pure silver. Puss walks across it,
kicking up stardust.
GOLDILOCKS
That’s the third time we’ve passed
that same rock, Baby.
PAPA BEAR
Oh, not again!
BABY BEAR
What do you want me to do?! I’ve
lost the scent!
GOLDILOCKS
You only have one job. The one
thing that makes you mildly useful
is your nose, and apparently you
can’t even use that!
MAMA BEAR
Goldi...
BABY BEAR
I’m starting to think this wish
isn’t what you promised us.
MAMA BEAR
Leave off, Baby.
BABY BEAR
So what is it, eh? What’s your Just
Right? What’s so blasted important
that you’ve got us stranded in this
haunted forest?!
GOLDILOCKS
I’m getting a family, that’s what!
A proper family. Then, everything
will be JUST RIGHT!
BABY BEAR
So-- your Just Right is getting rid
of us?
PAPA BEAR
Well, I guess some people just
stick around until the porridge is
gone. Eh, Goldi?
GOLDILOCKS
Come on... you didn’t think I would
actually stay? I’m not a bear.
MAMA BEAR
I was always afraid it was too good
to last. And whether you think
we’re your family or not, if this
is something that will make you
happy, we’ll get you that wish.
(solemnly)
Come on, boys.
Jack Horner emerges from the forest with the last baker. He
spots the light on the horizon and casts away his crystal
ball.
JACK HORNER
Oh, what a good boy am I.
PUSS
(reading)
“Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish--”
KITTY (O.S.)
I can’t believe I fell for it
again.
PUSS
Kitty, you don’t understand...
KITTY
Don’t understand what? That you’ve
been playing me this whole time?
PUSS
I need this wish.
KITTY
Oh yeah? You want to know what my
wish was? Someone, ANYONE, I could
trust. In my whole life I’ve never
had that.
(sighs)
I thought I finally found that
someone-- without a wish. I thought
it was you.
KITTY (CONT’D)
But you’re still running. Still the
same old Puss in Boots.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 116
PUSS
But I’m not! I’m not Puss in Boots!
I’m on my last life! I need to get
my lives back! Without them I am
not...I am not...
KITTY
What? The legend? I still can’t
compete with your one true love.
KITTY (CONT’D)
Go on. Get your lives back, Puss in
Boots. Just keep them out of mine.
PUSS
(calling after)
Kitty, death is after me!
Jack hops down onto the star, holding his magic nanny-bag.
His last baker accompanies him.
MAMA BEAR
Oi! That’s Goldi’s wish!
FAST CUTTING CLOSE UPS: EYES darting back and forth, ala The
Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. A moment of unbearable suspense.
PAPA BEAR
Grab it!
BABY BEAR
I’ve got it! I’ve got it!
Dog swoops in and trips Baby before he can grab the map.
Jack pulls a WIZARD’S STAFF from his bag and shoots bolts of
rapid-fire magic.
BAKER #2
Mister Horner! I need your help!
JACK HORNER
(spotting the map)
Duly noted, but a little busy at
the moment. Pew! Pew!
BAKER #2
Mister Horner!
Jack scrambles for the map, but before he can get to it, Mama
Bear blocks the way. Jack points his staff at her, lining up
a shot.
JACK HORNER
Ooh, it’s bear season!
Baby Bear lunges in, knocking Jack back. Baby stands over
him, slamming his fist into his palm.
BABY BEAR
Oi! I’m gonna bust you up, plum-
thumb! And then I’m going to wear
your clothes!
JACK HORNER
That was weird.
Jack zaps Baby, lifting him off his feet. Baby is drawn
through the space, caught in the magnetic tug of star magic.
MAMA BEAR
Baby!
BABY BEAR
Mama, help!
MAMA BEAR
I got you!
BABY BEAR
Papa!
PAPA BEAR
Son! I’m coming! Got you!
Papa and Mama Bear grab onto Baby’s feet, trying to rescue
him. It’s no good-- the entire bear family is being drawn
into danger, linked like a daisy-chain!
BABY BEAR
Help!
--she looks over her shoulder. Across the star, she sees the
BEARS IN PERIL.
MAMA BEAR
Hang on, son!
PAPA BEAR
I can’t stop it!
BABY BEAR
Mama I’m slipping. I’m
slippinnnggg!
GOLDILOCKS
Like I told you, Baby. You’re the
smash, I’m the grab.
BABY BEAR
Yes! Yes!
BACK WITH JACK: Since Goldi has abandoned the map, he’s able
to grab it. Puss is too far away to stop him--
PUSS
No!
But Kitty isn’t! She makes a spectacular leap and kicks Jack
HARD. He staggers back, losing his WIZARDS STAFF.
JACK HORNER
Hey, Softpaws! How do you like
THESE apples?!
KITTY
Soft-paws.
JACK HORNER
(rolling his eyes)
Ugh.
DOG
Yeah, I dunno what to do with this.
But, if you think you need those
lives...
PUSS
(taking it)
Thank you, Perrito.
DOG
You know, I’ve only ever had one
life-- but sharing it with you and
Kitty has made it pretty special.
Maybe one life is enough...
PAPA BEAR
What is that?
DOG
Who’s that?
PUSS
He’s here for me.
The Wolf STRIKES the star with his sickles, creating screens
of magic that rise, isolating Puss. Kitty’s eyes widen. She
and Dog are cut off from him.
KITTY
Puss!
WOLF
I’ve enjoyed the chase, gato.
But I think we’ve reached the end
now, you and I.
WOLF (CONT’D)
You gonna take the coward’s way
out? Run away to more lives? Or are
you gonna fight?
WOLF (CONT’D)
Pick it up.
WOLF (CONT’D)
Go on. Pick it up!
WOLF (CONT’D)
What’s the matter? Lives flashing
before your eyes?
PUSS
No, just one. I’m done running.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 122
Puss drops the map, picks up his sword and accepts the
challenge. He faces down the Wolf with no lives to spare.
PUSS (CONT’D)
Fear me, if you dare.
WOLF
This is going to be fun.
WOLF (CONT’D)
Bien. Muy bien.
WOLF (CONT’D)
Tsk, tsk. You really gotta stop
losing that.
The Wolf CHARGES. Puss pulls out Kitty’s dagger, and blocks a
savage blow. And another!
PUSS
Say hello to my gatito blade!
PUSS (CONT’D)
Pick it up.
The Wolf takes up his weapons and steps slowly toward Puss.
He gets very close and leans in, fixing Puss with a
penetrating gaze. Then--
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 123
WOLF
Grrr...Porque diablos fui a jugar
con mi comida! Arggggghh! You’re
ruining this for me!
WOLF (CONT’D)
I came here for an arrogant little
legend who thought he was immortal,
(sigh)
But I don’t see him anymore.
PUSS
(tipping his hat)
Si hasta la muerte.
KITTY
You know, when you said death was
after you, I thought you were being
melodramatic.
PUSS
The wish is yours. You deserve
someone you can trust.
KITTY
I don’t need it. I’ve got what I’ve
wished for.
(smiles)
No magic required.
BABY BEAR
Uh oh.
PUSS
Holy frijoles.
JACK HORNER
I was worried for a second I’d come
out naked, but my clothes grew too!
Cool!
Jack stretches out one massive hand, snatches the map and
holds it high.
DOG (O.S.)
Señor Horner!
JACK HORNER
What?
DOG
Please, don’t make that wish!
Please!
DOG (CONT’D)
(straining)
Pleeease!
JACK HORNER
Wha--? What are you doing?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 125
DOG
Plee-ease!
JACK HORNER
Seriously. Are you having a hernia
or something?
And bigger--
DOG
Pleee-eeeeease!!!!
DOG HAS DONE IT! He’s mastered the feline CUTE-EYES trick.
His eyes are big, dewy and totally adorable. Jack seems
profoundly moved...
JACK HORNER
They’re such pools of
vulnerability. It’s so cute-- how
you think that would work on me.
Don’t you know I’m dead inside? By
the way, your nose is bleeding.
DOG
Oh, I was just buying some time for
TEAM FRIENDSHIP!
JACK HORNER
Team what?
FFFFT! Puss and Kitty bury their blades right under Jack’s
giant thumbnail!
PUSS/KITTY
The Spanish Splinter!
JACK HORNER
Ahhhhhgh!
Jack drops the map and flings the cats aside! As the map
flutters down, Puss, Kitty and Goldi grab it. They lock eyes
and then, together, they deliberately RIP THE MAP into
pieces!
VERY HIGH ANGLE: The STAR ITSELF RIPS just like the map, a
jagged crack splintering down its center. Raw energy surges
as its surface BUCKLES!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 126
MAMA BEAR
Go, go, go!
Puss, Kitty and Dog follow them, making a final, desperate
leap to the canyon’s edge. The bears lend an assist, pulling
them to safety.
JACK HORNER
It’s mine.
Jack LAUGHS, but then realizes that there’s ONE MISSING PIECE-
- and a GAPING HOLE in the center of the map.
Bug tosses the last scrap and the Phoenix SCORCHES IT. Jack
CRIES OUT. His foot breaks through the shattered surface of
the star.
JACK HORNER
Oh! What did I do to deserve
this?
(beat)
I mean, what specifically?
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 127
KITTY
I hate to say it, but-- should we
make a wish?
PUSS
Kitty, one life spent with you is
all that I could wish for.
Dog joins Puss and Kitty as they watch the celestial display.
BABY BEAR
You saved my life, sis.
(sobbing)
You was gonna make the wish, but
you didn’t make the wish ‘cause you
wanted to save your family.
GOLDILOCKS
Shhh...
BABY BEAR
(totally breaking down)
... and then I-- I was really
scared...
GOLDILOCKS
Oi don’t get so blubbery about it.
Whose porridge would I eat
otherwise?
MAMA BEAR
I’m sorry you didn’t get your wish,
Goldi-love.
GOLDILOCKS
But I did, Mama. I did get my wish.
Everything is Just Right.
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 128
Papa and Baby join Mama and Goldi for a group hug, a sweet
familial moment.
MAMA BEAR
Oh, now you’ve made me cry.
GOLDILOCKS
Now-- what say we all go home and
hibernate?
PAPA BEAR
Goldi, you’re a chip off the old
block, you are!
GOLDILOCKS
Well, what can I say? I won the
orphan lottery.
GOLDILOCKS (CONT’D)
Softpaws. Boots.
PUSS
Goldi.
KITTY
Bears.
GOLDILOCKS
Hey Baby, you got any ideas for our
next job?
BABY BEAR
Oh! Remember that pie factory? I
suspect that they might be
experiencing a leadership vacuum...
MAMA BEAR
Ooo! A family business! How
exciting!
ETHICAL BUG
Now’s a good time to talk about
ethical business practices...
BABY BEAR
Ah! There’s a talking cockroach on
my nose! Get it off! Get it off!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 129
GOLDILOCKS
Hold still.
ETHICAL BUG
Now wait just a second.
Goldi tries to swat the bug, but ends up BOPPING Baby hard on
the nose.
BABY BEAR
Owww!
ETHICAL BUG
Hey! Hang on a minute--
Goldilocks and the Three Bears and Ethical Bug disappear into
the forest, chattering chaotically.
PUSS
Hey, Perrito, about that name.
Let’s pick one out for you.
KITTY
Yeah! What about Chiquito?
PUSS
Chomper! What do you think,
Perrito? Chomper, no?
KITTY
I’ve got it! I got it! How about
Jeff!
PUSS
Jeff? He doesn’t have a Jeff face.
Dog laughs.
DOG
You know, if it’s the same to you,
I think I’ll just stick with
Perrito. I kinda like it, since
that’s what my friends call me.
KITTY
(smiles)
Then Perrito it shall be.
PUSS (O.S.)
You know to be honest, Chomper is
pretty good...
DOG (O.S.)
Yeah, but no.
PUSS (O.S.)
Well, we’ll keep workshopping it.
FADE TO BLACK.
GOVERNOR
I want this vacation to be perfect.
Did you remember to pack my
captain’s hat?
ASSISTANT
Yes, Governor. And your captain’s
shoes, your captain’s coat and your
captain’s pajamas.
GOVERNOR
And what about-- MY BOAT?
PUSS (O.S.)
Perrito!
PUSS IN BOOTS:TLW 10-11-22 FINAL WRITER CONFORM v3 Revised P.FISHER 131
PUSS (CONT’D)
Team Friendship? We did not agree
to this!
KITTY
Yeah, it makes us look ridiculous!
DOG
Too late now! It’s official!
KITTY
(still gazing)
Steady as she goes, Perrito.
DOG
Okie doke! Where are we headed,
anyways?
PUSS
Off to find new adventures. And to
see some old friends...
THE END