18 Year Old Nymphs 3
18 Year Old Nymphs 3
art of
seducing 18
year old
nymphs
PART III
HOW TO PULL
PERFECT 10S:
PART II
Dear friend,
Yes / no
...she’s been draining your energy by begging you to fuck her constantly?
Well… if that’s the case… then the fact that you haven’t approached today is
understandable.
However…
...the fastest way to create that outcome is to go and approach some women now.
!1
It’s just like diving into a pool.
But the moment you hit the water, you realise it just wasn’t that big of a deal… and…
Whatever.
The reason I’m hammering you to approach girls is actually two reasons.
Reason Number #1 is that TAKING ACTION is how you’re going to get results.
Reason Number #2… is that what follows in this module isn’t going to make a
whole lot of sense to you unless you’re going out and approaching girls regularly.
You see, I’m going to be addressing one of the biggest “confusion points” in the whole
area of picking up girls.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re meeting her at the club… the bars… the library… the
street… online… or on the top of Mount Everest….
….then you’re not going to have a whole lot of success with women.
It sucks, right!
!2
Well, here’s why.
Women throw tests at you largely because they feel nervous around you… and they
don’t know how else to behave.
And yes, even the HOTTEST most “intimidating” girls feel nervous and self-conscious
when you approach them.
So when you roll up and approach them, they’re going to act “weird”.
Sometimes, they’re going to react with the “face of disgust and horror”.
The reason they do this is because they’re nervous… self-conscious… and trying to
act “cool”.
I get this “bad reaction” from most girls I approach…. even after YEARS of doing
pickup and sleeping with countless women.
If you stay in set, and don’t REACT to the girl’s “bitchy” behaviour…
...then over time she will RELAX around you, and attraction can happen.
Enduring tests comes from knowing that there’s no reason you’re not enough.
When you internalise that, it becomes easy-peasy to endure women’s nervous and
idiotic reactions.
!3
And they become attracted to you and aroused by you, precisely because you’re not
reacting to them.
Q: Ok… but if the girl keeps telling me to leave… or acting like she wants me to
fuck off… where’s the line between enduring tests and harassing her?
The 4 Times Rule states that in a social environment (like a bar or club), you’re allowed
to approach a girl and stay in set up to four times of her objecting or telling you to go.
If she tells you to leave a fifth time… then it’s actually time to go.
But you can stay up to four times… and it’s not harassment… it’s called being a MAN.
Being persistent.
...because the hottest most high quality girls will RARELY react positively the first time
you approach them.
The 4 Times Rule is also refers to how many times you’re allowed to re-approach a girl.
You assumed that if she rejected your first approach, it was “over and done with”,
right?
I did too.
85% of the women I’ve slept with from cold approach rejected my first approach…
!4
...but when I approached them a second or third time, they were HORNY for me!
And… with the 4 Times Rule… you are allowed to re-approach a girl up to FOUR times.
It’s called being a MAN… being assertive…. and having the courage of your
convictions.
!5
HOW TO PULL A STUNNING 18 YEAR OLD VIRGIN HOME FOR SEX WITHIN 20
MINUTES OF MEETING HER…
I remember the night I first truly internalised the enormous power of the 4 Time Rule.
I was in the club solo, and I was having one of the worst sessions of cold approach
ever.
Awkward, stifled, barely approaching, and every girl I tried to talk to shut me down
instantly.
(These nights happen from time to time even after years of experience, incidentally.)
At the bar, I approached a very hot, kind of elfen looking girl, and before I'd said more
than a few words she simply walked past me as if I wasn't there - pure ice.
About twenty minutes later I was in the smoking area, and I saw the hot, pixie-ish girl
again.
Because I love the ice princesses, I re-approached her, expecting her to brutally reject
me again.
In fact, she reacted with immediate arousal. It was like I was talking to a different
person.
The same girl who'd been a 100% "evil bitch" just twenty minutes ago was now flirty
and warm and talkative and intelligent.
When I asked her about why she had ignored me earlier, she genuinely couldn't
remember it.
She sincerely believed that my re-approach was my initial approach. She hadn't even
seen me when she "rejected" me the first time.
(There's a powerful esoteric lesson in the above sentence which you should meditate
on frequently.)
Anyway the long and short of it is that she must have been the smartest girl in the
entire club, because she agreed to come home with me fifteen minutes after my re-
approach, and within five minutes of getting inside my house she was giving me some
!6
of the best head I've ever gotten, the quality of which surprised me given that she was
18 and a virgin.
■ approach + re-approach
Often, the first time you approach the hottest, most in-demand girls in the club... things
get ugly.
Remember also that the very act of not getting pushed out of set is, in itself, an
immensely attractive quality in a man, and will enormously arouse the girl.
!7
HOW TO BE PERSISTENT WITHOUT BEING NEEDY
A. Imagine you're walking down the street and you see a brand new Bugatti Veyron
parked there.
"It's yours," he says. He holds the keys out for you to take.
Sounds great, right? But would you immediately take the keys? Probably not.
You'd be questioning the man's motives, trying to figure out what his angle is. You'd be
surprised by his offer. You wouldn't refuse, but you most likely wouldn't just take the
car.
Any sensible person would want to know a little bit more about what was going on here
before they blindly accepted such a "gift".
At the same time, you wouldn't want the man to immediately give up.
If he suddenly said, "Don't want it? Your loss, pal"... and drove off, you'd be
disappointed.
You'd think: "Wait, what if he was really serious? Did I just blow the opportunity of a
lifetime?"
When you leave set after just two or three objections, this is exactly what you're doing.
You're not giving the girl the time she needs to become calm, to get to know you,
and to understand that you're a man... unlike the vast majority of guys she gets
approached by. (Drunks, try-hards, douchebags, cardboard players, paper tigers.)
!8
To return to the car metaphor... you're walking past the Veyron. The man smiles and
says, "like the car? It's yours."
For a minute or two you're confused. You don't know the score. Is this alright? Is all
this legal? Why is he giving you this car?
But as the man remains calm and is patient with you, you begin to understand.
He works for Red Bull, he explains, and they're giving away five Bugattis as a publicity
stunt.
He shows you proof of his identity. He puts you at ease. He lets you look at the Red
Bull website on his iPad, which explains all about the PR operation.
He’s humorous and friendly and you trust him. After a few minutes you've got to know
his personality a little bit and to feel that he's coming from a good place. He's no
longer a stranger to you.
And, just to calm your concerns, he says: "Listen, you don't have to make a choice
right now. I understand this is completely out of the blue and you want to make sure
it's all above board. How about you and me take it for a test drive up to HQ down the
road, and then if you still want the car, you can fill in all the forms. Take as long as you
want to make a decision. Call your lawyer if you want. I can give you this car right now
and you can drive away, or we can do it the long way. It's completely up to you."
Well, suddenly you'd begin to realise this was the lucky break of a lifetime.
And because the man was patient with you, and empathised with your initial surprise
and concern - instead of shutting you down when you didn't immediately comply to his
first request - you were able to drive away with a new Bugatti.
Now, was the man offering you the free car being "needy" by staying with you and
answering your objections?
He didn't need anything from you. He could have given the car to anyone. But he was
patient with you while you calmed down and got your head around the fact that you
were being offered a great opportunity.
!9
The same is true of your approach. Persistence isn't "needy"... it's doing for the
girl what you would want someone to do for you, if you were in her position.
Of course the girl's going to be a little nervous, hostile and defensive at first.
She'd be an idiot if she simply treated every douchebag who approached her as if he
was a king.
She needs a little time spent with you to understand that you're a man of value - unlike
the guys who usually approach her.
And she can only come to realise this if you "harass" her a little bit: remaining in set,
enduring tests, re-approaching, going slower, connecting with her so that her trust,
comfort and attraction for you can gently begin to blossom with time spent together.
This is the meaning of "Enlightened Harassment" also known as the 4 TIMES RULE.
Beneath their often cold and even callous exterior, even the very hottest and most
seemingly intimidating "turbo-stunners" are sweet, nervous, and self-conscious...
which can make them act a little bit foolish in an attempt to be cool when you
first approach them.
Being a man is about making these girls comfortable around you and showing them a
good time. For this you often need to be a little bit more persistent and patient than
you would be with your male friends.
!10
HOW TO OVERCOME ANY WOMAN’S RESISTANCE WITH A SMILE
“Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do
anyway.”
When you internalise and live by the 4 Times Rule, you'll notice that you begin to
get better reactions from girls you approach and re-approach and that, with time,
you attract far more sexual encounters than you did previously - and with a more
aesthetically engaging calibre of woman.
Often a very hot girl will reject your approach, then you'll re-approach a few minutes
later and she's extremely attracted to you.
Being persistent by holding your frame and standing up for yourself is enormously sexy
to women.
Most men don't stand up for themselves. When they approach and the girl gives them
an objection, they are visibly wounded by it. They slink off with their tail between their
legs, never to be seen again.
By staying in set and/or re-approaching, you differentiate yourself from 99.9% of the
mass of men. It's very stimulating to women.
They're not used to meeting a man who is level-headed enough to deal calmly and
patiently with their neurotic and hysterical idiocy, and so on this basis you can become
very valuable to them very quickly.
!11
The problem is that you approach a girl, and you think that she's being hostile, or
defensive, or blasé, or that she's rejecting you.
But in her mind, she's just trying to act cool around you.
She's nervous, a little bit excited, a little bit self-conscious about being approached by
a potentially attractive man.
!12
EXPRESS EMPATHY + APPRECIATION TO OVERCOME THE GIRL’S RESISTANCE
Q. So what, if I approach her and she’s telling me to fuck off, I just need to act like
nothing’s wrong? What I do I say in response to objections?
A. The girl says to me something like: "You should go back to your friends."
I say: "It's alright, I enjoy talking to you. I prefer looking at your face than my friend's
face. It makes me feel all warm inside."
That's just my style - you don't have to answer the same way. But one element is
important. When she's saying "you should leave", she's actually looking for you to
verbalise why you're there with her.
In other words, she wants you to qualify her - to explain to her why she's special.
Most guys think this is the girl literally asking them to leave - but that’s not it at all.
You need to be smarter about reading female psychology, which does not express
itself logically.
When the girl resists, says “you should leave”, etc, she basically wants you to explain
why you like her specifically rather than all the other girls you could have approached.
Tell her firmly: "It's alright, you have a good energy, I feel good about talking to you."
When you get an objection, stay in set and qualify her. Express your appreciation for
her.
Very important: when I say express appreciation, I mean express appreciation for
what you're getting from being there with her in the present. Not for what you
hope to get in the future.
For example...
Her: "Anyway, it was nice to meet you, you should go back to your friends."
Me: "It's alright, I think you're really sexy and I want to get to know you better."
!13
What I said there wasn't actually bad, and you could pull it off. But the problem is that
it strongly implies that I want something from her in the future - i.e. sex, or a date, or
whatever.
It puts pressure on her to commit to me. This isn't fun. There's less romance and
ambiguity and intrigue.
WHAT TO DO:
Her: "Anyway, it was nice to meet you, you should go back to your friends."
Me: "That's alright, I'm enjoying being here with you. I prefer looking at your face than
my friend's face."
I'm telling her that there's no reason why she is not enough. She doesn't have to do
anything.
I will enjoy myself simply by being in her presence, because I find her charming and
attractive.
I don't want anything from her. I'm enjoying the present moment which I spend with
her.
The more personal and specific you can make this, the better. Find something
attractive about the girl's personality, or her aesthetic or style or whatever, and give
that as your reason for staying with her.
This is a subtle distinction, and maybe not necessary to understand right away if you're
new, but it is hugely powerful.
It serves both to defuse and disarm objections, while also qualifying the girl - that is to
say, making her feel like you have chosen her for some reason that is unique to her,
rather than blindly trying to fuck her like a piece of meat simply because hers is the first
skirt your eyes happened to rest on.
!14
"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."
- William James
You may very well simply want to fuck the girl because she's very pretty and you've got
a healthy sex drive. Nothing wrong with that.
But I promise you this: the more you qualify the girl for who she is, and the more you
really begin to believe your own bullshit... the more often you'll find yourself rapidly
connecting with hot girls in a way that naturally becomes sexual.
Sex Energy Hacking is a hugely effective tool in your toolbox for coming to
appreciate the soft feminine energy of women.
When you get to a point at which you genuinely appreciate and enjoy simply being in
the presence of an attractive woman as much or more than the act of sex itself, it
paradoxically becomes easier to get sex (assuming you've got logistics dialled).
Another very effective way of qualifying the girl in this way is if you've indicated the
possibility of going somewhere more isolated together (your house, her house,
afterparty, etc) and she objects.
There's a classic response to this created by Jeffy of RSD which bears memorisation:
"We're going to go somewhere lovely that you will love, you can leave
whenever you want and either way it doesn't matter because I'm having
fun."
The point is that this takes the responsibility off the girl's future self.
You're verbalising that whatever happens - whether or not you have sex, whether or
not she wants to leave the place that you're taking her as soon as she arrives - you're
simply enjoying being in her presence.
That whatever she does, you'll be happy, because you're spending time with her and
that there are no obligations on her.
!15
THE HIGHER YOUR VALUE AS A MAN, THE MORE PEOPLE WILL SEEM
“BORING” WHEN YOU FIRST APPROACH THEM
Q. I find that the women I approached don't have a single damned interesting
thing to say. It's like talking to a mannequin.
A. As a man of value, nobody you meet in the world is going to be as stimulating for
you as you can be for yourself.
Many of the girls you meet will be subordinate to you in emotional strength and
initiative.
As a leader, you need to be the one who takes total responsibility for giving the
interaction time to develop and showing the girls a good time.
When you first approach a girl or a group of girls, they're never going to be as
interesting in the beginning as they are later on when they've come to trust you
and feel at ease around you.
When you are able to make people feel at ease around you, then over time they can
begin to open up to you, and to let their real self show.
When people are "boring", it's because they're wearing a mask. No one is boring. But
when meeting a stranger - especially a high value, confident, socially outgoing man -
people feel tense and they don't show their true self, because doing so would make
them vulnerable.
As you spend more time with the girl and her group, however, they get a better feel for
who you are and a sense that you're not judgemental, and so they allow themselves to
relax and to open up and be vulnerable and cute around you.
I'd be willing to bet that that's really just a self-justification and that - in the moment -
you leave not because she's boring you, but because you feel tense and awkward
spending time with her.
You leave not for logical reasons, but for emotional ones. Emotionally, you don't want
to keep talking to her, because you feel awkward, and so you eject.
!16
Q. To be honest, yes.
A. Staying in set is a skill. You build it exactly like a muscle. The only difference is that
it's emotional strength we're training by staying in set.
The girls won't have this emotional strength. They become awkward when you
approach. As a man it's your duty to take responsibility and bear the awkwardness,
staying in set anyway.
When they see you're not awkward, they won't be awkward. Your role as a man is to
take responsibility not just for yourself, but for her too - to carry the load for both her
and you.
Nature has given you a stronger body and a larger brain1 than women not
because it’s unfair, but so that you can carry the load for both you and her.
As a woman, it's not her responsibility to bear awkwardness for both of you, it's yours.
If both the man and the woman in an interaction are unable to endure awkwardness,
then there is no man there - there are two women. And that's why sex doesn't occur.
For sex, for attraction, we need man and woman. Only the woman has the luxury not to
endure awkwardness or tension.
Man can’t afford that luxury, not if he wishes to live a good life.
1 http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/males-and-females-differ-in-specific-brain-structures.
!17
YOU'LL GET BETTER AT ENDURING AWKWARDNESS FASTER THAN YOU THINK
You won't be good at it at first. Stay just a little longer each time.
You get better at this faster than you'd think, by the way - the trick is to start with small
efforts of endurance, and build up.
There is almost no skill in game more valuable than staying in set and enduring
tests and "awkwardness".
The girl will thank you for it later on when you're rubbing oil on her nude supple body,
giving her an erotic massage, rubbing her clit, etc.
But it's all based on this: emotional endurance. Mastery of your own emotional center.
Q. I understand that this form of game - one long set - is better for getting laid. I
have done it and gotten laid from it before. But I still get bored. I just can't be
bothered staying with her over time... the girls just seem to have absolutely
nothing interesting to bring to the table conversationally.
A. The girl and her group will never be as interesting in the beginning as they are later
on, when they've become comfortable with you and relaxed in your presence.
Only with time spent in your presence can they feel unselfconscious enough to express
themselves fully. Be patient with people. Go a little slower.
Give compliments to put the girl and her friends at ease. This way a lower status,
"boring" (nervous) person can connect with a higher status, socially outgoing person.
But it takes time. People's conditioning makes them feel nervous. You need to be
patient as the girl allows herself to become unhibited and more reactive to you in a
good way - less mechanical and more human.
The more confident and powerful you become as a man, the more boring people will
become to you. This is quite natural.
2 http://psychcentral.com/news/2006/10/06/anxiety-more-common-in-women/312.html.
!18
But you need to evolve past this. Become a leader. Learn to appreciate people who are
less socially outgoing than you, less evolved in their level of consciousness.
This is the price you pay for personal power. You must learn to be tolerant of weaker
people's unconscious and negative manifestations. (The alternative is to become a
hermit.)
Bear in mind people as we find them in life have no control over their own behaviour -
particularly the way they relate to others. They are literally enslaved by their
conditioning and by external forces. And internally they know they are imprisoned, but
they can't act any other way.
They wouldn't be boring around you if they could help it. Slow down. Appreciate every
single person you speak to. Otherwise, your confidence intimidates them.
!19
BE POLITICAL:
Have patience with girls. Go a little bit slower. Take the time to appreciate them.
Tolerate their initial nervousness - which expresses itself as "awkwardness" or
attempts at being blasé and cool.
By the way, one rule of thumb is very useful. If you ever find yourself talking casually to
a girl who you consider unattractive, or less attractive than yourself, compliment her.
Find a reason to appreciate a less aesthetically interesting girl, and verbalise it. It could
be physical or something to do with her personality, but compliment her. In this way,
you make lesser people feel good and you create "alliances" within the club.
This is doubly true of the friends of the girl you like. Compliment them. Flatter
them shamelessly.
Now, don't lead unattractive girls on by flirting if you're not interested in them (use no
physical communication). But go out of your way to compliment them and make them
feel at their ease.
KEY CONCEPT:
■ Be a politician - a leader.
We call this friend game. Compliment the shit out of every girl (and guy) in the group
except the one who you like. This keeps everyone on excellent terms with you.
Q. Example?
A. Recently I was in the club and of course your boy was spitting that game. Out of the
corner of my eye I saw a girl who looked like the chick in Legally Blonde.
!20
I was about to approach but I stopped myself. The girl had three friends around her, all
girls. Two were cute, one was less athletically and nutritionally self-disciplined.
I - like every other man in the game - have done hundreds of approaches in which I
elicited massive attraction and arousal from a hot girl, only for her "LANSD" friend to
swoop in and snatch her away at the last minute.
(There's something about eating a lot of pizza and not working out that makes a
woman simply love to stop her friends from meeting people. Maybe it's chemical, I
don't know.)
I walk up to the group and open not the hot girl, but the LANSD girl. I chat to her in a
friendly way, give her compliments, and we get on very well. She's obviously charmed
to be approached by a high status guy. Her "greed/vanity glands" are working
overtime.
So what I've done here is - through the use of compliments and flattery - turned
someone who would have been my fiercest enemy not just into an ally, but into a slave.
Then, from that position of (social proofed) power, I introduce myself to the blonde
chick. She's aroused, chat to her for a while, and we're all good.
Time passes, the club closes, and later a group of us are all standing outside. I
reapproach Legally Blonde and her friends who are standing nearby. I chat to LANSD
girl for a while - let's say her name is Karen. I put my arm around both her and Legally
Blonde and say to Karen, "Karen, don't you think that Legally Blonde here is
adorable?"
"Yeah!"
"Karen," I say, grinning like Jack Nicholson while looking her dead in the eyes, "would
you mind asking Legally Blonde here to give me her number so that we can get a
coffee tomorrow and get to know each other better?"
Karen is a little bit weirded out and is clearly offended and disappointed, but because
she's spent the last half hour singing my praises, she's compelled by consistency and
commitment bias to do as I say.
She asks Legally Blonde, who's right there, to give me her number, which she does. So
not only do I get the number, but it's massively social proofed by the girl's own close
friend.
!21
And the icing on the cake?
I manipulated the very person who otherwise would have been my fiercest, most
obnoxiously obstinate opponent into doing the work of seducing her friend for
me.
How? Simply with liberal compliments and flattery. They are an unstoppable weapon.
No one can resist them - especially not people who feel inferior to you.
!22
YOUR WORD IS LAW
The more of an "inner nullity" a person is, the better that compliments work.
Have no shame: compliment people on the very things that are actually their worst
traits and they will eat out of the palm of your hand for life.
If you have any kind of charisma and basic confidence at all - especially if you're seen
talking to girls - and you compliment a man, he will be your greatest supporter for the
rest of the night, or even for life.
Think about this for a second. Probably (at least) 75% of the people in the club are
individuals who you have zero interest in sleeping with.
Why not turn that 75% into followers of your personal "cult" through simply enslaving
them with compliments and flattery? You create powerful momentum this way.
And by winning dozens of allies and new friends you create a machine that will feed
you girls throughout the night and make you appear to be the most high value man in
the entire environment.
One caveat: If you don't go out and do cold approach regularly, then there's a chance
that you shouldn't use compliments. Compliments coming from a weak person can
signal weakness, not strength.
But if you are going out regularly, and you're a relatively confident, socially outgoing
man, then compliments are a devastatingly powerful and much overlooked weapon.
Master this art and you can get away with murder.
!23
HOW TO GET PAST HER DREADED “FACE OF DISGUST/HORROR” + RIGHT INTO
HER LITTLE WHITE PANTIES:
"My servants began to forge what was to become the most dreaded costume on
the face of the earth... The last thing to fit, was the mask... Would it conform to
my twisted features in comfort...?"
- Dr. Doom
Q. When I approach certain girls they look at me as if I'm scum. I just can't take
the pain of it any more, the feeling in the pit of my stomach when they look at me
like this.
Your instinct is to think the girl is looking at you weirdly because there's something
wrong with you as an individual (not good looking, bad game, whatever).
Everyone gets this response - men with a pleasing external appearance, men who are
highly social proofed, men who have decades of experience with game, etc.
When I approach a hot girl, she usually looks at me like I have leprosy. The face is a
mixture of disgust and horror.
About 80% of all the girls I've slept with from cold approach began by giving me this
face. Time is your ally.
A. Persevere isn't the right word. Persevere implies force. This gets you nowhere, and
can actually make the girl more defensive and tense.
Rather, simply endure her "wall of ice" and keep talking. Then you'll find that it melts of
its own accord with time spent together.
!24
And remember also that these reactions are not really a manifestation of her.
Bitchiness, aloofness, coldness: none of these really show her true self. You can get a
measure of her true self by imagining her on Christmas morning.
Then you'll see the "shield" of aloofness for what it is: cute, endearing, a ham-fisted
attempt to look cool.
But you can't blame her for being nervous, can you? After all, it's very unlikely that she
chose to be nervous, and that she would willingly be nervous around you if she had
any control over it.
So you have to simply be patient with people as they calm down and become normal
around a confident, socially outgoing man.
A. If it helps you to view it in those terms, then by all means you can see it that way.
But the difference is that your frame (it's normal to be social in a social environment) is
the truth.
Her frame - if she gives you the bitch face - is not the truth. It's emotional: the result of
her feeling nervous and self-conscious and not knowing what to say.
So her frame cracks fairly quickly when you don't react to it or acknowledge it.
And then she can just be normal around you. Which is, ultimately, what she wants. To
feel good and relaxed and social, not nervous and defensive.
When you anticipate that the girl will be nervous when you approach her, and you
anticipate her blasé, aloof reaction, and endure it, something magical happens.
She begins to become increasingly reactive to you, more and more sweet and cute and
dorky. But it can sometimes take a while.
Q. How do I know if a girl is attracted to me at all though? What are the main
indicators of interest to be aware of? I say this because I sometimes approach
!25
and stay with a girl for a long time but she doesn't give me any signal that she's
into me and I leave.
A. Looking out for “indicators of interest” contradicts the principle that there is no
reason why you are not enough.
There is only one "indicator of interest" that counts: the girl has continued to stay in
your presence.
A cute girl has a hundred options. She could do anything else, but she's still with you.
It could be the most cold, aloof, bitchy girl in the world, but if she's still with you, that's
enough... she's potentially interested.
Some girls will become more affectionate over time. Others will be completely "cold"
towards you... even until after you've had sex a few times.
My current girlfriend didn't give me a single "indicator of interest" until after the fourth
or fifth time we'd had sex. She was a total ice queen. I tried to hug her once, and she
laughed at me.
But that girl is now among the most desperate for affection of any girl I've dated.
Whenever she sees me she hugs me tight and lets out this weird little squeak sound.
If I had put any stock in IOIs, however, I would never have even slept with her -
because she didn't give me a single IOI for weeks.
When I first approached her, she looked at me with a face of surprised horror. The man
who gets his knowledge of women from Hollywood movies and the funny pages would
have thought I was being "rejected" at that point.
And on our first date, to an observer, her body language would have indicated that she
had absolutely no interest in me... right up until we were in bed together.
That's just how it goes with a large percentage of women in the beginning of your
relationship with them.
Some of the best looking women won't give you any kind of attention or obvious
interest for a long time. This is largely because they're secure in their own skin, and so
they assume you are too. They assume you have enough basic trust in your value that
they don't need to validate you. Hopefully, they're right.
!26
IOI’S ARE A BIG FAT LIE
It's important to get this because a lot of the really high quality girls (the ones who are
both highly desirable and also self-confident and intelligent) are usually going to be
pretty blasé in the beginning of the relationship.
They'll become more affectionate later. But in the beginning, they'll be cool. It isn't a
big deal. Trust. There's no reason you're not enough.
Others will be very affectionate towards you early on. It just depends on the person.
Alexander says the only real IOI that counts is that the girl is “quiet and attentive”.
If you’ve been with her for any length of time and she hasn’t left (especially in a
hectic nightclub environment), and if her focus is on you, that’s more than enough
to know that she’s potentially into you and that it's on.
!27
HOW TO GET PAST HER “FILTER”
When you begin to see "hot girls" for what they are - nervous, self-conscious, a little
insecure - you'll forgive them for acting moronic around you when you first approach.
And you'll endure their unconscious, automatic reactions + stay in set anyway.
And as you endure their initially unpleasant reactions ("unpleasant" in the subjective
sense, of course) then something very interesting happens.
It's like there are two different personalities within the girl. One personality is hostile,
nervous, defensive. The other is cute, open, playful, warm.
When you endure bad reactions to your approach and stay in set (not acknowledging
that they're giving you a "bad reaction"), after a little bit of time something cracks -
suddenly the first personality disappears and is immediately replaced by the second.
The transformation point can come five minutes in, ten minutes in, or longer. But often
it can happen even after just the first thirty seconds in set.
It's a very distinct "break". Hard to put into words, but you'll know it when you see it.
This sudden personality shift was described by Tyler of RSD once. He articulated it as
follows:
2. She gives you a "look" that indicates that what you're doing is not normal.
3. You stay in set, and continue to talk to her, as if she wasn't giving you this
reaction. (In other words, you talk to her as if she was being friendly and normal
towards you, rather than weird.)
4. She realises that you are the boss (dominant male) in this environment, and
immediately begins to become attracted.
The above fourfold sequence is also probably the simplest possible way that you
!28
could illustrate what "good game" looks like (intermediate-advanced level).
But, of course, what do most beginners do? They only get to the second step in the
sequence and then they run away.
2. She gives them a certain "look" or facial expression that indicates that what
they're doing is not normal.
...And then they repeat this process many times, until they occasionally - through sheer
luck - happen to find a girl who is already in such a social and outgoing state when
they find her that she is kind towards them, and this gives them confidence to begin to
"game" her, as it's called.
In other words, they disqualify themselves from talking to 99% of girls in the
environment - who are, as a rule, going to have "getting approached anxiety" and are
rarely going to be self-confident enough to give you a calm, normal, friendly reaction in
the beginning.
When you stay in set - ignoring bad reactions - this is when the magic happens.
With just a little bit of time, if you endure her reaction, her "frame" cracks. She submits
passively to the new frame - your frame.
The frame that there is no reason why you are not enough to talk to her, and that
there's no reason why she is not enough to talk to you.
Your energy as a man calms her (via pheromones and mirror neurons) and she
becomes less defensive. She becomes "tuned to receive"... passive, as is her proper
state relative to man, rather than combative.
That's the pseudo-biological explanation for this "shift" in the girl's personality.
!29
The psychological explanation lies in the idea that the girl changes her tune very
suddenly, because she quickly (subconsciously) realises that you are the alpha male in
this environment.
Being an alpha has nothing to do with fixed, determinate, innate qualities - like your
muscles or your hair or something.
Being alpha is expressed simply by the fact that you don't crumble like a piece of wet
cake in the face of her initial negative reaction the way that 98% of the "mosquitos"
who approach her at a bar her usually do.
That's all.
When you endure tests, the girl assumes by proxy that you must be the dominant force
in that environment... because only a man who was extremely popular and had social
authority would be able to withstand her worst "bitch persona character" without being
internally shaken by it.
When you approach a girl and she looks at you as if what you're doing isn't normal, but
you continue to talk to her in a normal way anyway, it functions as a pattern interrupt
that completely changes her behaviour.
It's like "shortcircuiting" a robot. You can almost see her physically "jolt" out of her old
pattern of behaviour and into a different pattern - one which she assumes is more
appropriate to dealing with a dominant male.
People will act largely as they believe they are expected to.
How does her personality shift so quickly from "nasty" and "aloof" to receptive and
aroused?
We can only theorise, but the most persuasive explanation has to do with the power of
implied social proof.
In other words, when you are unreactive to her "weirdness" and are able to remain
easy-going and patient, your behaviour implies that when you approach girls they are
!30
usually highly attracted to you.
So the girl herself acts out the role that she believes (unconsciously) she is being
expected to act out: that of the woman who is responsive, attracted.
And in consequence (because identity and desire is fluid) she really becomes attracted.
A. Yes. It's a "calculation" that happens within her, but not consciously.
A little like how when a police officer approaches you to say something, you act
respectful, maybe even timid.
Unconsciously, your brain immediately puts you into this role simply on the basis of the
uniform he's wearing: you don't consciously think about it. It happens automatically.
In the girl's mind, when you approach, she acts bitchy, and you continue to behave
normally as if she were a friend, the "cognitive-behavioural script" that begins to play
out below the level of consciousness in her mind looks something like the following
sequence:
(I) "I rejected him and gave him a bad reaction. Usually when I do this, most
guys look wounded, and either insult me back or leave, or both."
So the social role she plays when she's around a (real or perceived) alpha male of
the tribe like her boss, her father, or a high value man who's a force in his own context,
immediately comes to the surface... she's passive, receptive, charming, flirtatious.
!31
In other words, simply by virtue of you staying in set and not acknowledging her initial
frame, she has literally become a different person in front of your eyes.
There are hundreds of different social roles we play in life. These are the "masks" that
make up all human life - social life in particular.
Every one of these "roles" has its own unique personality, and its own suite of
behavioural scripts that are distinct to it.
The role of "woman at a bar batting away the 'mosquitoes' who approach her", and the
role of "woman who is in the presence of an alpha male" are completely different
personalities.
But I have found from my statistical, empirical observations that these roles selectively
alter memory.
That is, very often, when a woman is in the second role, she cannot accurately
remember her behaviour while in the first role...
You will find this out when you sleep with a girl who was initially "bitchy" or hostile to
you at first. Later, when you're in bed, you ask her something like: "Why were you so
resistant earlier, but you're so affectionate now?"
You say, "Well, when I approached you, you told me to fuck off, that you had a
boyfriend, that you were going to get your boyfriend to beat me up, etc etc."
She then says, "I never said that. I would never say something like that. What are you
talking about? You must really be quite mad."
So you say, "Okay, how did we meet? Describe your first impression of me?"
!32
And then - far more often than you would believe - she will then describe how she "first
met you" in, say, the smoking area of the club... Whereas you actually approached her
at the dancefloor, were talking to her for twenty minutes, and then led her to the
smoking area.
But it was at the smoking area that her current personality came to the surface... so
this is where she remembers first talking to you.
You are quite literally talking to a different person - to a different "role", with its own
memories, likes, dislikes, etc.
So the Captain of the Football Team effect is a very useful little jujitsu maneuver when
you can get it down. It doesn't require you to do anything or to actively "game" the girl.
It just requires you to not acknowledge her initial frame that what you're doing by
approaching her is somehow "not normal"... and to stay in set anyway, keeping it light
and playful.
Endure the indignity and insults she throws at you with patience and tolerance, as you
would the inconsequential behaviour of a small child.
And sooner or later (oftentimes much sooner) a completely different personality comes
to the surface...
Your unreactiveness tacitly implies that you're a dominant male in this environment who
is used to people saying "yes" to him.
And because people always want to act consistently with how they imagine the people
around them are acting (social proof), she "plays along".
The Captain of the Football Team Effect (which is really just another name for the 4
Times Rule) is probably at the root of all of my game.
It requires practice to get it right. The first time you try to stay in set after the girl insults
you, she'll sense that you really are wounded by it.
!33
The second time, you'll be better at hiding it.
The third time you won't even take her insult personally at all. And she'll sense this and
become attracted.
KEY CONCEPT:
■ If you can train yourself not to react, and to be patient and tolerant with
the weak + nervous behaviour of lower status people, they will
instinctively realise that you are higher value than them and will quickly
change their tune.
You don't resist the fact that she's looking at you as if you were a leper. You continue to
talk to her normally, as you would to a friend.
Lower status people become nervous around higher status people. They insult them,
or act weirdly around them generally, only because they're nervous.
And higher status people don't react to these insults. Imagine a man who was actually
of consequence like Obama or Jamie Dimon arguing with people in YouTube
comments, defending himself.
No. Higher status people don't react to the insults and criticism of lower status people.
They accept this behaviour as a matter of course and continue to move forward,
trusting that lower status people will, in time, reconcile themselves to reason.
By simply enduring the "resting bitch face" or "face of disgust and horror" you are
immediately putting yourself in the same category as the highest value males that this
girl has ever met.
"Value" is a subjective term, of course, but in this case it just means the men who that
girl perceives to be on a higher level than her own.
!34
Alpha males, popular guys, jocks in high school, her boss, her father, possibly her
uncles or older brothers, and so on.
In the girl's reality, almost all of the above male figures have one thing in common: they
have a stronger frame than hers.
Q. It's very difficult to endure it. It's easy to say that you will, but in the field, when
you're actually looking at a girl and she's treating you like a piece of shit, it's
much harder not to just eject.
A. That's right. Non-reactiveness is a skill. The most important skill in the whole of
seduction.
No one is born knowing how to do it. It has to be learned. And it can only be
learned through practice - the practice of staying in set.
It will feel unnatural to you to stay in set at first, but it's really the most natural thing in
the world. All our existing relationships with people were borne purely out of spending
a sustained amount of time with them.
!35
HOW TO BUILD “RAPPORT” WITH ANYONE AND MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
First we are either neutral or hostile towards them. Then we become lukewarm towards
them: we're more comfortable in their presence. Then with time we begin to like them.
And finally, they become an integral part of our lives.
If you think about it, every single person you now consider a close friend became
"close" to you (important to you) in this way.
Doesn't matter if it's a friend, or a girlfriend, or a friend with benefits. The graph always
looks the same:
We start off with no accord. We meet someone and we either feel nervous around them
because they're a stranger, or we simply feel completely neutral towards them.
Then, as we're exposed to that person more and more over time, we become less
nervous in their presence, more at ease around them, and we begin to like them more
and more.
Finally, as in the case of a close friend or a sexual partner, they become integral to our
lives. We love them. There's a bond, a connection, shared experiences.
You hear a piece of music somewhere - a song or album. At first you hate it. It grates
on you. You try to avoid it.
Then you’re exposed to it more, and as it becomes familiar, you gradually come to find
it okay.
Then you start to like it. You find yourself wanting to listen to it, actively searching it out
online.
And sooner or later you reach a point at which you can’t stop listening to it. And not
only that - but you’re frustrated that you can’t find anything else as good as this piece
of music.
!36
Well, this is the way women become attracted to men.
The hot girl begins by going about her life not knowing who you are.
Then you enter her reality, and she doesn't think much about it. Initially, she's nervous
around you. Or she might find you slightly irritating, or ridiculous.
As she spends more time with you, she starts to wonder about you. Eventually she
finds you tolerable. With time, she'd rather see you than someone else.
And simply with time - nothing else but time - the spark of sexual tension grows until it
has become a roaring blaze.
She comes to like you much more than you like her. She's hitting up your phone with
needy texts, she's begging you to see her, etc.
This happens as a result only of time spent together. Time + being a man, in the full
sense of the word (for which see In Search of the Miraculous + ANIMAL
MAGNETISM X).
Become a master of spending time with the girl, and you will never want for sex or
feminine energy again.
!37
BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS + CONNECTING WITH THE GIRL AS A HUMAN BEING
PREVENTS FLAKE NUMBERS
Girls are flakey. Asking for a girl’s number and then getting it is very exciting in the
beginning, until you come to the realisation that the vast majority of numbers will flake
– no matter how solid the attraction appeared to be (making out together for hours,
etc).
There are several tricks to prevent and minimize flaking (see MIND CONTROL +
INDOCTRINATION Module).
But the most powerful one is simply to spend a lot of time together with the girl you
want to see again, and to leave the club with her at the end of the night.
The club is not “reality”. When you leave the club with the girl at the end and go
through the front door together, you re-enter “reality”.
Likewise, if you go and get food, or go to an afterparty, the number she’s given you will
be much less likely to flake.
And even if she absolutely insists that she can’t go anywhere with you and has to go
home, get in her taxi with her and say you intend to make sure she gets home safe.
Not only is this the gentlemanly thing to do, it also has a fairly good chance of getting
you invited into her house and ultimately having sex...
And even if you can’t manage to talk your way inside, the number will be 1,000% more
solid than if you had simply put her in a taxi, or heaven forfend, parted ways with her in
the club.
Would you rather have 10 flakey numbers from somewhat attractive girls, or 1-3
extremely solid numbers from "turbo-stunners"?
If your answer is the latter, then I suggest maturing into a "one long interaction" frame.
Especially if you’re going for quality over quantity, deep and long interactions are key.
Even if you don’t have sex with her that night, staying with her for much longer
significantly reduces flaking and positions you favourably for setting up a date.
!38
And assuming that this is a beautiful girl with a feminine essence who is pleasurable
both to look at and spend time with, that’s not a bad consolation prize.
The point is to play to win – not just to satiate your ego by doing lots of approaches.
!39
LONG SETS DON’T PRECLUDE FAST SEX:
Q. Experience says that some girls - not all, but definitely some - are open to
having fast sex.
A. True, and if that's what you're looking for, use the Dominance Trifecta, escalate
early,3 and see if she's down.
Combine this with leading her around the club a lot + the Cumulative Charisma of
going out 2-4 nights in a row each week and you’ll rack up notches.
But if you're going for quality - tall, beautiful, intelligent, cosmetically refined, well-
dressed, elegant, lingerie-model type girls - then you'll rarely get them aroused enough
to go home with you using a scattergun approach.
These girls aren't less slutty... but because of their beauty they're usually far more
experienced with one night stands than other girls, and therefore more jaded.
What these girls crave on a very deep level is to feel like they're the ones
seducing you.
This is what excites them the most. And creating this kind of vibe is NOT AT ALL
DIFFICULT.... (We’ll get into it in detail in the upcoming module HOW TO
MASTURBATE HER EMOTIONS)
And of course, you will have occasional experiences where a beautiful woman does
want to have sex almost immediately (whether in the club bathrooms, in an alley, or
whatever).
When you’ve had even just a couple of months of decent cold approach experience,
you will be able to sense when a girl is ready to get laid then and there. And you will act
accordingly.
You can still grab the low hanging fruit when it's there.
3 Lean towards her for the kiss right off the open while saying “You’ll never see me again.”
!40
And ironically, when you internalise the idea that there's no reason you're not enough
and that time is your ally, this will make you relaxed - and it is this very relaxation which
will actually make the girl more aroused and open to sleeping with you sooner rather
than later.
In other words, there’s a strategy which works with 5% of girls - who already want to
have fast sex upon meeting you - and a strategy which works with 95% of girls... who -
like most relatively sober human beings - need to spend a certain amount of time with
a complete stranger before they’re comfortable enough to let their guard down and
become intimate.
But because the latter strategy also works on the 5% who are an "easy lay", you may
as well apply it in all cases and then rely on your animal instinct to pull the trigger when
you sense the girl is DTF.
!41
PERCEPTION IS REALITY:
This system begins from the starting point that human beings are asleep.
There’s also a very good book on the subject called In Search of the Miraculous:
Fragments of An Unknown Teaching.
And their fear causes them to "hallucinate", and to see things which are not there.
This includes not only you and I and other men who study pickup, but your parents,
your friends, your coworkers, your boss, your boss's boss, and the girls who you meet
in nightclubs.
If so, I recommend you watch this video of a presentation given at Google by the
physicist Leonard Mlodinow.4
It's about how the unconscious mind influences and distorts our perceptions of reality.
4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ-IfVHJH58&app=desktop.
!42
"Our mental lives proceed along two paths, the conscious and the unconscious,
of whose influence we are unaware... Our perceptions, memory and social
judgements are all constructed by our unconscious from limited data,
employing context, expectation, desire... The way we experience the world
is largely driven by this unconscious processing."
This is almost nowhere more true than in the case of how we perceive other human
beings:
I don't want to get sued for copyright infringement but if you watch the talk from 15:20
on, you'll see a striking visual demonstration of the difference between what our
eyeball actually sees when we look at an image, and what we perceive after our
unconscious processes have “filled in the gaps”.
The first is extremely vague, blurry, distorted - with only a little clarity in the middle, but
"murky fog" around the edges.
The second is crystal clear - like a digital photograph taken on a high-end phone.
The first picture - the vague, blurry, distorted one - is what your retina actually
transmits to your brain when it looks at something.
But the clear image is the image you think you're seeing: because your unconscious
mind has filled in the gaps, making the blurry image clear to you based largely on what
it expects to see.
The retina receives the data of only a vague, blurry image, while the unconscious mind
"fleshes out" this raw, imprecise data and gives it detail and vividness, based on a
whole range of variables like context, fear, desire and expectation based on past
experiences.
!43
Thus, findings from modern neuroscience and in particular from the new field of social
neuroscience are beginning to lend practical and empirical basis to the assertion of the
Armenian mystic and systems thinker G.I. Gurdjieff - made over one hundred years ago
- that human beings are asleep, and that without making conscious efforts to sustain
attention (self-remembering), we perceive the world not as it is in reality, but as an
illusion, a fantasy proceeding from unconscious forces.
Now…
!44
WHY A “TEN” IS NOT A “TEN”
But the fact that we so-called "pickup artists" - and the girls we approach - do not see
reality as it actually is, but that rather we (and they) get only a vague image and our
unconscious "fills in the gaps" based on context, fear, desire and past-programming is
going to revolutionise the field.
How does this relate to you accelerating the speed at which you learn to reliably
seduce and build relationships with the most desirable women?
#1: The "9"s and "10"s you see in the club are not really "9"s and "10"s
Rather, you see a kind of blur of feminine energy, then your retina projects an image (or
hologram) of a "hot girl" and - based upon fear, desire, context and past programming
- your mind fills in the blanks to make her a "9" or "10".
Take an archetypal "10"... a dimepiece of the club who looks like she could be a
lingerie model.
When a man who has slept with hundreds of women looks at this girl, he sees a
completely different image than does a man who has slept with only a few.
This is because fear, desire and a powerful cognitive bias called "Deprival super-
reaction syndrome" combine to make the man with little sexual experience literally
hallucinate the woman as a kind of symbolic fantasy image... constructed by his mind
!45
based on conditioning (subjectively similar women previously perceived both in real life
and in the media and pornography).
The man with extensive sexual experience, however, sees the "10" for what she is: just
some girl - imperfect in certain ways, potentially attractive in others, and relatively
skilled at creating a mask and imitating the cultural standard of what a "hot girl" is
supposed to look like.
The main difference is that the man who has less sexual experience is not yet
disillusioned with the fantasy imago of the imagination-based "hot girl", whereas the
womanizer is.
Every so-called "10" he has ever slept with was really a "6" or "7" when they didn't
have all the symbolic accoutrements and optical manipulations (makeup, sexy clothes,
high heels, etc).
While some girls have great bodies because of exercise and nutrition, and faces that
are cute, the experienced man understands that "10"s are actually a kind of "unicorn"
species which doesn't exist.
It is the disillusionment of the more experienced man that makes him more confident
and relaxed when he talks with these supposedly "unattainable" girls.
# 2: When you approach any girl, she does not see you.
Instead, she sees an image in her mind in your place - based partially on her
emotional state at the time, and partially on what she expects to see.
The image she sees "in your place" will very often be not only distorted, but even
completely contrary to reality.
Partially, she can see you as you are... but only as if "through dark glass".
The details of who you are, however, are being coloured, filled in, and constructed by
her unconscious mind.
This is nowhere more true than in the first several minutes of the interaction.
!46
When you first approach a girl, what she actually sees approaching her is NOT YOU,
but a walking, talking hallucination.
This hallucination is based on a foggy image of “you” transmitted from her retina to her
brain.
The details and finer points of this image are being generated by a mixture of the girl's
expectations, fears, desires, past programming, and by the context in which she
encounters you.
Any more or less reasonable man will conclude on this basis that to become upset
about eliciting "bad reactions" from girls he approaches would be naive... because the
way she sees him is largely being generated by her own unconscious mind - not by his
behaviour or what he actually "is".
This is true in ordinary life but it is nowhere more true than in a nightclub situation -
where alcohol, excitement, nervousness, fear, social pressure, and the tension of being
in a large crowd and having to seem impressive all combine to throw the quality of our
(without this, already extremely unstable) perceptive faculties completely out of whack.
You'll have experiences where you approach a girl and you find yourself having sex
with her twenty minutes later.
Why? Because she has projected certain qualities onto you which turn her on.
She has not seen you - but an image in her mind of a man she is aroused by. And it is
this constructed imago which she is having sex with, not you.
Likewise, when you approach a girl in a perfectly normal way, and she hisses at you to
fuck off or even becomes violent, it is usually because she is not seeing "you", but an
“evil mirage” in your place, which does not in actuality exist.
She is projecting qualities (this time, negative ones) onto you which, once again, have
no basis in reality.
She cannot see you, only the mirage - formed from the "ghosts" of various men
encountered in her past. And it is this mirage who she is reacting to with violence and
hatred, not you.
!47
The girl's hallucinated perception of you - positive or negative - will inevitably be
deeply coloured by her "archetype of a man".
This can be compared to the source code of how her unconscious constructs the men
she encounters.
You must understand that when you approach any girl, you are a walking hallucination
- constructed partially from what you are, and partially from the combined impression
of hundreds of men who she has encountered in the past in a similar context.
And you are doing the same to her. You do not see her - but a "reflection" of your own
past which you project onto her.
When we talk to someone new, we impose upon them a certain "profile" or composite
of characteristics based on what we've seen before, and thus what we expect to see
again.
Philosophers, scientists and mystics have always suspected this, but it is only now that
we have access to the cutting edge in scientific technology (fMRIs and associated
computerized interpretative tools) that we can actually prove it for an objective fact.5
5 See in particular Leonard Mlodinow, Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior
(Pantheon Books, 2012).
!48
IMAGO + REALITY
When the girl sees "you", she largely sees a composite based upon many different
formerly perceived impressions ("data").
When she hears your voice, she largely hears the voice and words of this composite -
the content of which may be a distortion, or even a complete deviation, from what
you’re actually saying.
This composite can be constructed from pieces of her father, past boyfriends, past
sexual partners, past male authority figures and male peers, various (in reality non-
existent) stereotypical types of men imprinted on her psyche by things she's read or
seen in the media, plus a large collection of other impressions... all of which coagulate
together into a single form of what a "man like you" is to her - particularly a man who
approaches her in this specific context.
The majority of men who made an emotional impression on her in her past might have
been good men, on the whole.
What you can be certain of is that when you approach her, she largely does not
see you, but an "imago" that has been automatically constructed for her, by her
unconscious mind.
A former girlfriend was verbally abused and degraded by her father growing up, and so
because I was a self-centered piece of shit at the time, she gravitated towards me and
the drama and push/pull that I manifested towards her like a moth to a flame.
My current girlfriend idolizes her father and projects his personality onto mine, because
we are both driven, hardworking, strict, and intolerant of any kind of crap or malarky.
You'll generally find that even the women who come to know you most intimately rarely
see you for what you actually are. People see what they want to see.
!49
Nowhere is this more true than in relation to how you are perceived during your initial
approach.
When a woman is first approached by a man, he's like a vague blur... onto which her
unconscious mind is free to project fantasy, illusion and fear-based imagination.
Based on her emotions at the time you approach her, and also on her unique past
impressions of similar types of people or situations previously encountered, her mind
fills in the gaps, colouring not just how she sees you, but how she perceive you're
treating her, the sound of your voice, your facial expression, and even selectively
altering your words.
It is very important to note here that in the vast majority of cases, and for men
and women alike, when first meeting a stranger, this initial "filling in the gaps"
process is negative.
We not only fail to give new people the benefit of the doubt, we make them even worse
than they are.
This is due to the state of fear in which the ordinary person perennially lives due to the
complete ignorance of self-remembering in the culture at large.
When you approach a girl, she will usually see some kind of "asshole", "try-hard" or
"obnoxious dick". This is not because that's what you are, but because that is how she
has been programmed to view the men who approach her.
This applies not just to how she sees you, but even to what words she hears when you
talk to her.6
You say some words, and her ear picks up on about 10% of what you've said. The
other 90% her brain fills in the gaps based on what she wants to hear, or fears to hear,
or has been conditioned to expect from a man who approaches her.
If you could see and hear “yourself” as she is seeing “you”, you would be
observing a man who is literally unrecognisable.
6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ-IfVHJH58#t=20m38s.
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The girl needs time to adjust and become normal around you before she will let her
guard down. She will often perceive you - when you approach - as a vaguely hostile,
threatening blur, who is trying to get her to "choose" him so that he can fuck her like a
piece of meat.
This has nothing to do with you. This is what she expects to see when a man
approaches, you understand, so this is what she sees.
She will require you to spend time with her and talk to her normally so that she can
come to see you more as you are, rather than as a projected image reflecting the
majority of “men in quotation marks” who she has become habituated to dealing with
in this kind of context.
It is your duty as a conscious man, who understands and empathises with the
weaknesses of others, to deal patiently with the girl’s initial awkwardness, to keep
things light, be playful, and allow her to come to see you as you are.
Only in this way will you be really just towards her, and only in this way will she become
relaxed and aroused enough by your essence as a man that she is open to going home
with you and having sex later on.
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YOUNGER GIRLS WITH LESS LIFE EXPERIENCE ARE GENERALLY LESS
NEUROTIC, HYSTERICAL AND WOUNDED, AND MORE PRESENT TO THE
MOMENT
Our culture assumes that the older someone gets, the wiser. In a sane world, this
would indeed be true, but in the world we have, it is often exactly the opposite.
You may notice that when you approach younger girls (18, 19), they are often kinder,
sweeter, more spontaneous and free, and that they appear to be more capable of being
"normal" in a man's presence, relative to older women.
Young girls are generally less reactive, less insecure, more spontaneous and present to
the moment, more open to new experiences, and more innocent.
They're able to interact with you in a more spontaneous way without reacting to
impressions from the past because they have fewer such "ghosts" clouding their
consciousness and imprisoning them in a world of dreams and learned reactive
patterns of thought and behaviour.
With each passing year, the blank canvas is marked and filled in with false personality
and false consciousness until it is almost black.
As women grow older, life fills them in with mark after mark, until it is harder and harder
to have a fluid conversation with them without something touching them on the raw
and setting in motion a whole sequence of reactive, pre-programmed, argumentative
responses.
These marks can include past experiences with men, old wounds, and cultural
conditioning from the polluting and defiling influence of the media (mainstream +
online).
Just as modern education and main-culture media turns the mass of men into "walking
corpses" in which it can be said that "there is everything in him except himself", a
similar process of incremental mechanization goes on within women.
Most females are scarcely out of their teens before having already fully assimilated (of
course unconsciously) a certain "persona" through mimetic imitation of the people they
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encounter in certain kinds of media (notably reality television), as well as from real-life
influences.
This learned mechanical persona serves for them, they fancy, as a kind of "shield",
which makes them appear to others as strong-willed and independently-minded, but
which is in actuality not a shield but a coffin, in which - with every unpleasant
manifestation they express to others - they hammer in another nail, burying themselves
more and more immutably in a grave of loneliness and failure by the day.
- Merriam Webster
Younger girls often have less past wounds arising from defiling and unsatisfactory
experiences with men, and have not yet as fully assimilated as much of the "garbage"
programming of modern main-culture media as have their older peers.
And it is for this reason that girls of this age are, speaking in general terms, not only
more attractive aesthetically, but also personally.
People are not born machines, but they become that way over time.
They're not even there. Their faces are distorted in a sneer. They can't even see you.
Their eyes are on you but behind their eyes they are somewhere else.
When they talk to you they're reacting to things long in their past.
They can't see anything but a vague image of you - a hostile, threatening blur in the
shape of a man.
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The proper response to this kind of conditioned behaviour is neither anger or
cowardice but patience.
With time, as the woman gets to know you, her mask will drop while at the same time
she comes to see you more and more for what you actually are - the man behind the
fabricated hallucination in her mind.
And then she can become relaxed around you, and in turn aroused. You can bring out
the fun, spontaneous, childlike, non-reactive side of her personality, even if she is in her
mid twenties or older.
Often, as a result, the woman herself becomes addicted to being around you because -
like a snake charmer or magician - you are the only one who is able to elicit her real
personality, and put her at ease in such a way that her "mask" can drop and she can
be herself, free rather than a slave.
If you like, be assertive and dominant. If she insults you, you can tell her firmly with
booming voice (command tonality - going down at the end) while looking her dead in
the pupils: "AYE! CALM DOWN." Then stay in set and keep talking normally.
You can throw a strong pattern interrupt or hard neg at her to put her off balance so
that you then guide her to a more sane and reasonable perception.
(If it's a girl you're dating and she's being negative or weird you can even calmly get up
and open the front door in a completely relaxed way, gesturing outside. "Alright, you're
free to leave if you like.")
The actual external reaction you give her doesn't matter. You don't have to do
anything. You can endure tests simply by not responding to them at all. (Subtle but very
powerful.)
The important point is that whatever your external reaction, your internal reaction to
hostile treatment of this kind is always patience... tolerance towards the inevitable
weakness of others, which they manifest towards you not by conscious choice but
because they are unconscious.
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If you cannot tolerate others' weaknesses, it means that you have not yet truly seen
your own unconsciousness and mechanicalness for what it is.
"Before going further, I consider it necessary to explain exactly the expression 'a
remarkable man', since like all expressions for definite notions it is always
understood among contemporary people in a relative, that is a purely subjective
sense.
"For example, a man who does tricks is for many people a remarkable man, but
even for them he ceases to be remarkable as soon as they learn the secret of his
tricks...
"From my point of view, he can be called a remarkable man who stands out from
those around him by the resourcefulness of his mind, and who knows how to be
restrained in the manifestations which proceed from his nature, at the same time
conducting himself justly and tolerantly towards the weaknesses of others."
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WOMEN ARE NOT AROUSED BY MEN, BUT BY THE RELATIONSHIP THEY HAVE
WITH A MAN
However women are not aroused by all men so much as by the relationship that they
have with certain men.
The men who have the most sex are not the ones with the "highest value" or even
the most masculinity... but the ones who have the best relationships with the
given women.
I know that this way of wording it sounds kind of gay, but trust me: when you begin to
internalise this paradigm, your results fucking explode.
I am fully aware that many men reading this have no interest in "building relationships"
with girls, mainly because that sounds like long and difficult work.
Two things.
#1: The kind of "relationship" I'm talking about can be built in a night - or even in an
hour or two.
It's a question of trusting your own value and trusting in the knowledge that time is
increasing it in the girl's mind, thus making her more attracted.
And because you trust that time is making you attractive, you spend time with the girl.
Time spent with her - shared experiences in the environment - creates a relationship
between you two.
It doesn't take any work: it just requires time spent together. A relationship is the
emergent result as a default.
You can accelerate the process by leading her around the club. The more experience
she has with you in a variety of external environments, the better you two will feel you
know each other.
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worthwhile exploiting both for her sake and for yours (in terms of making her more
comfortable with you, and vice versa).
#2: Assuming you're successful in picking up a girl you find hot - you're going to have
a relationship anyway.
The word "relationship" just means a connection between two people or things.
The two of you still made contact with each other and touched each other's lives, even
if very briefly.
You may as well start thinking about it like this from the beginning, not just because it's
realistic, but because thinking about your interactions from a "relationship-building
frame" instead of a "same night lay frame" will triple your one night stands.
Learn to live within the paradox and you'll be very happy indeed.
■ Which company gets the contract to build military bases? ANSWER: The one
whose lobbyists have the best relationship with the congressmen and women
on the relevant subcommittee.
■ Why does Becky Quick appear to consistently interview Warren Buffett to the
apparent exclusion of every other CNBC journalist? ANSWER: Probably because
she has the best relationship with him.
■ And - out of the hundreds of options that she has - which man does a "perfect
10" choose to have come over to her house to drill the daylights out of her in her
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free time on the weekdays? ANSWER: The man who she has the best
relationship with.
Compare the "relationship frame" to running around the club talking to girl after girl for
just five minutes each. Do you have a relationship with any? No. Do you go home with
any? No. Do you get numbers that don't flake this way? Rarely.
But a man gets some quick club makeouts this way and even the occasional quick
pull, and this actually lends positive reinforcement to a bad strategy.
If you want the same night lay then stay in set. It's as simple as that.
Time is your ally. A relationship grows by default, if you let it grow by staying in set. It
requires only the oxygen of time.
But not that much time: even half an hour can suffice.
When you behave according to the assumption that you and the girl will grow closer
over time, and that there's no need to impress her now, but only to stay in set, both of
you become relaxed.
By taking the pressure off the girl and off yourself, you behave in a naturally relaxed
and arousing way. In turn, this allows the girl to relax and become aroused too.
She feels comfortable and secure around you because you're not trying to use
"game" or "being impressive" as a huge crowbar to force her legs open.
You're just appreciating her feminine energy, staying in set, dicking around, talking
about nonsense, and letting whatever happens happen.
The situation unfurls naturally. And gradually she starts to get curious about why you're
staying with her but not "chasing" her the way other guys do.
When you're not actively "trying" to fuck her but just hanging out with her in that
environment, paradoxically she becomes so comfortable, relaxed and unselfconscious
in your presence that you then end up having sex if you can lead the interaction
somewhere more isolated at the end of the night.
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When you understand that sex cannot and will not happen with a girl you've just
met, you actually end up having sex with her faster than you otherwise would.
!59
HOW TO TURN THE HOTTEST GIRLS INTO WILLING AND ENTHUSIASTIC SEX
SLAVES, USING LOW-ENERGY "INVISIBLE GAME"
This "low energy" / "building relationships" / "time = value" paradigm of game also
allows you to attract a higher quality of girl in terms of looks, social experience and
personality.
It works on girls at every level, but it is particularly effective on the very hottest girls.
Reason?
It's that because they're so physically charming, they've already had tons of one night
stands and it's no longer exciting for them.
For these girls - the "9"s and "10"s - to be excited, there has to be an emotional
component, and a feeling that they're the ones winning the man over.
This is what excites them, because this is what is so rare in their interactions with men.
The "TIME IS YOUR ALLY" frame triggers both of these things by default, without you
having to do anything other than stay in set with the girl and communicate as a man to
a woman.
Why? Because:
(1) her emotions towards you are warming the more time she spends under your
influence (this is happening naturally as a result of pheromones).
Although it isn't strictly necessary, you can greatly increase the emotional component
by the use of push/pull and strong pattern interrupts. (We'll deal with the topic in depth
in HOW TO MASTURBATE HER EMOTIONS. Warning: this can become addictive.)
(2) when you trust that she's becoming attracted to you over time, you don't try to "win
her over" because you know that doing so would be pointless... Why try to game her if
you know that she'll be aroused enough to go somewhere more isolated at the end of
the night anyway? There's no point.
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The natural side-effect to this understanding is that she's going to become increasingly
confused by the fact that you're staying with her, but not trying to hit on her.
This creates a powerful undercurrent of intrigue within the interaction. The hotter
the girl, the more confused she will be that she's not getting feedback from you
that you like her...
Simply by doing nothing but staying in set and fucking around with her to pass the
time, a girl who is extremely attractive will begin to get her wires crossed.
This is because the hotter the girl, the more accustomed she is to a certain
energy of "chasing" from the men she speaks to.
Different males do it in different ways: some brag, some act macho, some try to make
her laugh, some use "game", some act aloof, some use shock humor and insults, some
are overly sexual, and so on...
Even so-called natural alpha males have an "act" they put on around this calibre of
girls. It's subtle, but it's there.
And all of these behaviours are fine on their own, but the energy that the girl senses
from guys is the same. It's a "wanting" energy. The guy is not being fully natural around
her. He's "trying" to attract her.
Being given attention by various guys in this way can be very flattering to the girl's self-
concept (ego), though it doesn't arouse her sexually.
In most cases she’s come to expect it by default. That's why when you subvert this
paradigm even in a very subtle way it can be so powerful.
Now the beauty of the "You are enough" + "Time is your ally" frame is this...
Just like those other guys who approached the “10”, you also want to sleep with her.
She's highly feminine and arousing to you. No shame in it.
But the crucial difference is that when you upload these two pieces of belief
software into your mental operating system, it completely changes the energy
that the girl is getting from you.
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Even though you have an underlying healthy desire to sleep with her, you realise that
she's only going to become attracted over time.
So you're in no rush to impress her or game her, because you know that doing so
might be entertaining if the impulse arises, but it is not what will make her aroused
enough to have sex.
The girl begins to sense this. Girls have antennae on their heads. You'll see.
Externally, you might be doing all the same stuff that other guys do - acting like a fool,
bragging, being cocky-funny, fucking around, being sexual, running game.
You don't appear to want her. You don't appear to be trying to get her.
A very fun way that you can accelerate this process is by opening other girls in front of
her, and introducing the girls to each other (merging sets).
Again, this is a massive pattern interrupt. No man who ever tried to pick her up has
done this.
It immediately throws her off balance and gets her wondering what you're trying to
accomplish, because you no longer fit into the established "role" of man trying to sleep
with a girl in a bar... which role has a very boring and limited repertoire of behaviour
when you think about it.
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MASTER THE REVERSE FRIENDZONE
The "silver bullet" is when the girl begins to wonder whether you like or her or
not...
Following from this, she begins to wonder if there's something wrong with her, or if you
ordinarily date much hotter girls.
Once that silver bullet of self-doubt about her own value has been "implanted" in her
mind by the fact that you're not giving her any of the ordinary feedback she's used
to getting from men, you've pretty much got her for life. The game is yours to lose at
that point.
Q. How do you know that the girl has begun to think this way?
A. This is the Zen part. You don't know. You have to trust.
There's a good rule of thumb, though: the hotter the girl is, the more certain you can be
that she is beginning to wonder if you're into her.
This is due to the all-powerful Contrast Effect. The hotter the girl, the less accustomed
she'll be to spending time with a man who doesn’t appear to be actively or obviously
trying to fuck her.
Ever been in the friendzone when you were younger, and you began wondering: "Does
this girl like me? Are we just friends, or is there something more going on? Should I
make a move? Does she want me to make a move?"
Well, this is like the reverse friendzone. In the absence of clear feedback from you,
this kind of self-questioning line is what is naturally going to start up sooner or later in
the girl's mind.
Q. Isn't there a risk that it really will fall into the friendzone?
A. If the girl is a stunner, you should want it to go into the friendzone. Nothing will
accelerate your results with women faster than having an army of hot girls who you go
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out with regularly.
She'll introduce you to her hot friends, you'll be surrounded by hot girls whenever you
go out, and if you want to "exit friendzone", you can cold approach other girls in front
of her and make her jealous for a while until she begins to see you in a new light...
But, generally speaking, if you interact with the girl as a man to a woman (physical
playfulness, and/or a little bit of playful push/pull), then the relationship won't shift into
the friendzone.
The beauty of this is the mixed signals, which is a subtle pattern interrupt and puts a
very attractive woman off balance.
■ But everything else you're doing - not trying to get her attraction - signals
"neutral or disinterested".
And together these form a huge question mark which draws her in.
Q. When I did this form of game before - low energy, staying with the girl, but not
chasing - she began trying to qualify herself like crazy. She was super hot but she
was taking out her phone and showing me pictures of her, saying she was a
model, and so on.
With some girls, this process of inner self-doubt will become obvious. They start
gaming you, little by little.
This includes behaviour such as touching you affectionately, talking about how she's a
model or knows this or that celebrity, hinting that she wants you to kiss her and so on.
Basically, she'll put "feelers" out to see if you're attracted. She's looking for feedback
to see if she's still hot.
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Most men - at this point - cave. They're not used to getting this kind of obvious
attention-seeking behaviour from the hottest girls, and so they'll lean in and start
making out with the girl and the girl will be into it.
And to be quite frank, it's very hard to resist the temptation to do this - especially if
you're not a seasoned veteran of the game.
So, by all means, feel free to just give in and give the girl the attention she craves. You
will have fun this way.
You break the tension - the tension of her not knowing if you think she's hot or not.
And this will tend to work against your odds of getting her home, because if there’s still
tension and uncertainty on her part then she’s looking at getting you home as a
potential reward for her - because it will validate her to sleep with you.
But if you validate her by making out with her as soon as she gives you IOIs, you
reduce the effectiveness of this dynamic.
On the other hand, when you simply stay free and easy, and act as if she's not trying to
get your approval by not giving her any feedback, she begins to game you even harder.
Sometimes, an exquisitely hot girl will begin to go into a kind of "downward spiral" of
validation seeking.
She starts chasing you like a dog chasing a car. It's very interesting to watch.
Some girls will begin seeking your validation, but others will remain completely cool
and seemingly aloof.
So don't expect that you're always going to elicit chasing behaviours from her in the
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first several hours.
These will come eventually - as the relationship progresses - but some girls have a very
good poker face, particularly when they’re first getting to know you.
Very often, the girl will give you no sign that this process of self-doubt and
intrigue about you is going on in her head. But it is.
The key is trusting in the process that is inevitably going on within her - regardless of
the feedback she gives you.
It's very subtle with some girls. You both know that you're attracted to one another,
and you stay in set talking to her and her friends for hours, but neither of you shows
your hand.
The "artistry" in this situation is to be able to lead her into isolation without giving away
whether or not you like her.
Sooner or later, this seed of self-doubt - if you give it the space it needs to grow, while
staying in set and enduring tests - will eventually turn into her trying to seduce you.
A. Good question. This is a term from cybernetics - from guided missile technology.
■ When the missile has locked on to its target, it gets positive feedback, and it
doesn't change its course.
■ When the target is peeling off in a different direction, however, the sensor sends
!66
negative feedback to the missile, and the self-steering mechanism springs into
action and self-corrects. That is, it steers the missile back towards its target, until
it begins to receive positive feedback again - and then the self-steering
mechanism goes dormant.
People calibrate their personality and their behaviour based on feedback, much
like a guided missile.
"Positive" in the sense of being feedback which validates her self-concept (ego), and
all the work and considerable expense that she invests into looking the way she does.
Positive feedback for a hot girl - that is, feedback which confirms her view of herself,
her identity, and her favourable position within the social hierarchy - includes:
■ Guys checking her out (especially when she's dressed up for the club etc)
■ Men in authority using their position to make her life easier (bouncers,
bartenders, promoters, etc)
■ Guys trying to impress her, game her, or display their dominance in front of her
■ Male friends wanting to have sex with her, though not admitting it openly
All of this feedback can be obnoxious to her, and it doesn't turn her on sexually, but it
does serve to confirm her identity as an object of desire to men.
As obnoxious as she might find this behaviour sometimes, it gives her (to some degree)
a feeling of control, a sense that she is on a stable footing in the world.
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This kind of behaviour is a given in her life - a constant. It is reassuring.
It's a little bit like how, although you might not always like your job, the fact that you
have a job is reassuring, familiar, gives you a sense of being safe, and of being a more
or less normal, respectable person.
If you were fired from your job and couldn't get another one, this would not only
damage you financially, it would also call your identity into question, and thus it
becomes an emotional experience. Irrational, but true.
Now, if you approach the girl, stay in set, endure tests, and re-approach, she's going to
assume (at first) that you're trying to fuck her like other guys.
So you stay in set, you fuck around, you interact with her and her group playfully, you
might even pick her up or bite her neck and things like that.
But it's not done from a place of trying to “get” her... You're just enjoying being in her
presence and expressing yourself around her.
What begins to happen is initially she starts to wonder if you like her.
"We've been hanging out for an hour, and he hasn't left” = positive feedback.
But...
"We've been hanging out for an hour, but he hasn't tried to impress me, and he's not
trying to be game me or be cool or charismatic” = ...negative feedback?
She’s going to keep putting out "feelers" to see if you’re attracted to her.
This can manifest itself as her physically escalating on you, or trying to impress you.
She may even ask you outright if you like her.
!68
From there it becomes really easy to get her into bed if you have a good grasp of the
psychology + mechanics of taking a girl home (for which see HOW TO BECOME A
ONE NIGHT STAND MACHINE).
However, few men get to this stage with this type of game because they usually cave
and give her validation as soon as she touches their arm or something.
The beauty of this is that the seduction process goes on in her head.
You don't actually do anything other than stay with her. And over time she begins to
chase you, because you've created a vacuum which she is not accustomed to. It's very
interesting.
It's like jujitsu: you use the very force of the opponent - her conditioning of hierarchy
and "high status" - against herself.
The icier the girl is, the cooler she is, the more aloof she is, the better this will work - if
you give it time to work.
This is because the "bitchier" she is, the more quickly guys in the past have folded and
given her validation when she began to display affection. (Of this you can be absolutely
assured.)
It's actually easier to get a "10" chasing you than it is to get a "7" chasing you.
It takes practice, but the results you will get from this style of game with the
hottest girls can be almost hallucinogenic.
But bear in mind also: although some hot girls will actively chase, a lot of hot girls
won't show their inner feelings until much later.
Just as you're not giving them feedback, they're very often not going to give you
feedback.
It can become very tempting to "collapse the wave" by simply trying to escalate, but
this often breaks the girl's trance.
!69
Sometimes the girl will chase you and be affectionate early on. But many other
girls - especially very hot girls - are often playing exactly the same game as the
one laid out above.
They're not going to give you any feedback, so don't expect it. They’re actually waiting
for you to “crack”.
You need to trust that they're becoming aroused by you. And if you trust that they
are becoming attracted to you, they will become attracted to you. And their frame
of aloof disinterest will “crack” first.
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HOW TO PUT THE HOTTEST GIRLS OFF-BALANCE
Partially I learned this style of game from Alexander, but partially I learned it through
analysing and replicating the behaviour of the very hottest girls themselves.
One girl in particular completely put me off balance in a way I wasn't accustomed to.
I became way too emotionally attached early on and ended up coming across as needy
- and this was when I was very experienced with game and with hot women in general.
I fucked things up with that girl (who was one of the hottest girls I've ever approached,
let alone dated, to this day) and this caused me immense emotional pain for a long
time.
Later, when I analysed what went wrong, I could see that the reason I became
irrationally emotionally invested in that girl was not because she was so good looking,
but because - despite being friendly, calm, and open to getting to know me - she gave
me almost no positive or negative feedback.
Zero IOIs. Friendly, but completely neutral. When we went on a date, she was relaxed
and chill, we chatted normally. I kissed her and she kissed me back.
She wasn't reacting to me in the way I had become accustomed to getting from
girls. And this put me off balance.
I became far more emotionally invested in this girl than I normally would have been. As
a result, I fucked it up by coming across as needy. It was very, very subtle, but she
detected it and I kind of ended up "self-destructing" by trying to overcompensate with
negging, etc.
As I say, that caused me great pain and regret for a long time, but what I actually
learned from retrospectively analysing the way her behaviour had affected me in has
been worth 100x more (in terms of results) than getting that one girl would have been.
The lesson is this: if you stay in set with someone who is accustomed to eliciting
certain feedback from the opposite sex - but you don't give them any feedback at all,
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whether positive or negative, it has the tendency of freaking them out after a certain
period of time.
As a result, they begin to act irrational, and to start chasing you hard.
The important thing is to trust that this process is going on in the girl's head even
if there are no external indicators of it.
You may stay in set with a girl for an hour, two hours, five hours, and she will give you
no indicators of interest.
But rest assured: she is accustomed to getting certain feedback from men, and if
you stay with her and be normal while at the same time not giving her this
feedback, she will begin to doubt herself...
This seed of self-doubt - when it gains traction and momentum - will gradually cause
an avalanche of emotion within her (desire to be validated by you) over time.
She will begin to seduce herself for you in her own mind, and even - with time - to build
you up into a kind of god.
The catch is that you have to trust that this process is going on in her head
internally even if she's giving you no external cues.
As I say, oftentimes it's like a game of poker. Some girls have very good poker faces.
Remember, worst comes to worst, you spend an evening enjoying the feminine
presence of a young girl who's easy on the eyes, and you enlist her as a friend and ally
with whom you can go out and talk to girls in future.
So there's no need to be desperate for sex like all the other men are.
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Main problem with modern "man" in general is that he puts the wrong value on
everything, including time, financial assets, careers, opportunities, knowledge,
struggle, material possessions, but particularly on women.
He overvalues the things that bring him nothing, or very little, while undervaluing the
only things he has or could have that are worth a damn.
Sex with a real man is more valuable to a woman than sex with any woman can be to a
man... for objective, scientific and empirical reasons which will be explained in depth in
the next section.
Q. Are you saying not to compliment the girl at all, not to be sexual or flirtatious?
I'm extremely flirtatious sometimes. I'll pick the girl up from the approach, spin her
around, even kiss her. But the energy behind it is different.
It's a form of self-expression... it's not done to try to get the girl to be sexually
attracted, but only to amuse myself when I feel like acting this way.
Your behaviour can take different forms, depending on your personal style. Be like
water, while at the same time being aware of getting this internal dynamic within her
head to work in your favour regardless of externals.
It's not that you have to stay tight-lipped and not express your affection or arousal.
You can compliment the girl, be sexual, or even kiss her neck and make out with her, if
that's your style.
You know in your own head that you can't have sex until later in the night when
everyone's leaving the club, and that by that time she'll automatically be aroused by
you naturally due to pheromones + the "chemical bond" that is established between
male and female in this context, whether you game her or not.
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For all she knows, judging by your friendly and flirtatious but kind of aloof and uncaring
behaviour, you may have no intention of sleeping with her at all... She begins to wonder
if she's been "friendzoned".
And on that basis, she starts seducing herself mentally, while your biology/pheromones
seduce her chemically.
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SEDUCTION IS A PROCESS OF "OPENING HER UP TO GOD"
As we've seen if there were just two central "belief pills" which you could swallow and
which would make you automatically and unconsciously attractive to any girl you
approached, they would be:
As human beings, both you and the girl each have a "shell" - your natural and
conditioned social nervousness.
She may have a thicker shell than you, or vice versa, but you both have a shell, a mask,
caused by social nervousness.
You become relaxed around her, she becomes relaxed around you.
We call this a relationship. A relationship is necessary for sex between two people to
happen.
Often a man is trying to have sex with a woman who he himself is not comfortable
around.
She would be happy to have sex but it is him who is internally resisting the seduction,
because he cannot relax.
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You begin to act in a naturally charismatic way (the way you are when you're with your
close friends) without trying to.
Likewise, with time spent in your presence, her "shell" or "persona" begins to melt as
well.
It's almost like a "war". Whoever becomes emotionally attached first, loses.
But if she loses, she wins - because then a relationship can happen.
If you lose, however, then you both lose: because when the man loves the woman
more, the woman loses interest immediately.
This is a chemical law. No relationship can happen, and therefore no growth for either
person.
The war between you is not fought with actions but with inaction - that is, passively.
We call this "gaming by not gaming."7 We call this mastery over the heart of woman.
The magic ingredient is time, because it is with time that her “persona” falls away
as she becomes relaxed.
Like in hypnosis, before someone can be put in a trace, their body must be guided to a
state of complete relaxation.
You would think that a "stunning girl" would be confident enough not to have a shell of
7 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu_wei.
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nervousness and self-consciousness, but it is often the very opposite that's true:
they're more under pressure to keep up appearances than anyone else, and this often
makes them nervous and self-conscious.
Getting approached by lots of different guys vying for their attention in an aggressive
and try-hard way also makes them nervous, and so they often have many guards up
when you initially approach.
Over time, however, the girl lets her guard down around you.
She no longer sees you as a stranger, and so she can be herself. We call this the
"insecure little dork effect".
Putting her in this state - that is, allowing her to feel more like herself - is one of the
greatest gifts you can give to a very hot girl, the gift of "opening her up to god".
You see this state in girls who are getting the daylights fucked out of them by a
man (your own girl, or one of your friend's girls, for example).
And people feel very good when they're in her presence as a result.
While a woman doesn't need a man in order to be happy, there is a certain very definite
asymmetry in the concrete fact that while you can "open a girl up" in this way
simply through intimacy and sex, no girl can give this state to you.
In order to achieve this state yourself, you must self-generate it. No girl - no matter
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how desirable - can give it to you.
You can achieve a temporary illusion of having this state of inner freedom when first
having sex with a very attractive girl, but this is not stable and ends quickly. It is
illusory.
Likewise, if you bought a new Porsche, you would temporarily feel happy, and puffed
up with swagger when people saw you in your new Porsche.
But after six months it would no longer feel special to you at all.
"No matter how hot the girl, sooner or later the sex will bore you to tears."
Nature has made a woman more versatile and given her more options in this respect:
She can attain a state of inner freedom either through sex and intimacy with a man, or
through self-generating it via self-remembering, meditation, non-expression of
unpleasant emotions, ceaseless labors and intentional suffering, and so on.
Woman has two options, where man has only one, you understand.
He attains this state of happiness and joy exclusively through self-generating it, in the
way indicated above.
While this means women have more options, it also means that, as a man, by
default of nature you are more valuable to any woman than she can ever be to
you.
When you understand this, it will become very difficult to be desperate or needy.
Most men are desperate around attractive women because of deprival from the energy
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of femininity while they were in their adolescence.
Their mental model of the world refers to a set of circumstances which (for them) no
longer pertains. This is the cause of "desperation" and "neediness".
Once you understand that this feeling of wanting is not you, but arises from a cognitive
bias (deprival superreaction syndrome + availability misweighing tendency), it will be
easier to eliminate this false consciousness desire from yourself.
It cannot be merely "mental". You need to prove to your brain that feminine energy is
abundant.
It is clear when we look around at our culture that it values everything upside
down and topsy turvey - in the sense of men "begging" for sex with women (in
whatever form).
Men have become women, and so they're looking for happiness in sex, which is
indeed possible for a woman...
...whereas the only true happiness for a man can come exclusively from ceaseless
conscious labors and intentional suffering.
Due, again, to the abnormal behaviour and incorrect desires of the mass of "men
in quotation marks", some "highly desirable women" have even come to sincerely
believe that sexual intercourse with them personally is something like a kind of
"great and sacred privilege" for a man.
Of course, if an attractive woman labors under this mistaken and naive view, then she
herself cannot be blamed for it, because it is only her passive observation of all the so-
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called "men" she has encountered which has given her this "topsy turvey" impression
of how reality actually works.
And if a woman falls into error in this respect, she cannot be held responsible for it,
because she is only basing her understanding on what shes sees around her... and that
is not necessarily unreasonable.
She's like a duck sitting in a pond when it's raining - she's moving up in the world.
So sooner or later, some ducks begin to get all puffed up with pride: they think they're
the ones who are causing themselves to rise.
Have compassion for the ducks, however. They have only very incomplete data. You
can't hold ignorance of the Russian language against a tribesman who has never had
occasion to left his village in Africa.
I repeat:
But for a woman - unlike for a man - there exists also another possibility, whereby
she can (over time) attain this state without difficulty, by way of intimacy and sex
with a real man.
(Or, in the case of a lesbian, through intimacy and sex with a woman who embodies
and represents the opposite polarity - feminine in the case of a masculine woman,
masculine in the case of a feminine woman.)
As a man, you have an atmosphere, an aura, like a planet: this aura is masculine
energy.
It influences the females who are around you, in the same way that their feminine
energy influences you.
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Simply by being in your physical presence over a period of time, oxytocin is gradually
released in a girl's brain, as well as various other hormones and finer matters of sex
energy.
With time spent together, the girl gradually goes from being defensive and closed,
to open, aroused, and affectionate. This is the influence of the ancient
neuropeptide oxytocin - the "god hormone".
But a woman can take anywhere from thirty minutes to seven hours or more in a man's
presence to the point that she is aroused enough for sex.
Trust is built over time. Comfort and ease are built over time.
You cannot open her up to god if she is not aroused enough to have sex, and she
cannot be sexually aroused without trust, comfort and ease.
Why? Because, unlike for a male, the same chemical that is principally responsible for
a woman’s sexual attraction – oxytocin – is also responsible for trust, comfort and
ease.
You have to go from being a stranger in her mind to someone she knows.
The two must become one: you have to have a relationship with the girl (even one
which is formed in only an hour or so). Only then will she allow herself to go home with
you.
It's important to understand that when a girl resists going home with you, it's not
a rejection: she simply doesn't know you yet. You're still a stranger.
Think of an occasion in which you were introduced to someone by a friend. Initially you
felt a little bit guarded around them.
This is especially true if you perceived them as potentially being higher-status than you.
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You might have been slightly more shy than usual. Less willing to let your guard down.
But as you and your friend and this new person spent more time together, you became
more comfortable with the new person.
You became less shy. You opened up more around them. And soon enough, you now
considered the new person your friend.
If you think about it, this is probably how you met every single one of your current
friends.
The same exact process of relaxing and becoming uninhibited takes place for a
very feminine woman when you approach her as a social, outgoing, high value
male.
Initially she is nervous and guarded around you - exactly as you may have been as an
effeminate adolescent when you were around someone you thought of as "cool".
A very masculine woman might be different, but I'm taking it for granted that you are
looking to connect with highly feminine women.
And highly feminine women get nervous and self-conscious when first encountering a
socially outgoing man of value.
As you spend more time with her, and stay in set, you represent a calming, playful
influence, and she begins to open up around you.
This is true both in a physical way - she becomes wetter and wetter and opens up in
the literal sense - but also on the emotional level: she becomes less guarded, less
tense, feels more and more like herself.
When you come to embody a relaxed and relaxing masculine presence, whose energy
allows a girl to become calm and to feel more like herself, you will become addictive to
that female.
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appearance, because around women of this degree of femininity most men do not
have the courage to relax, and therefore such girls are rarely able to relax themselves
due to the "assault" of nervous energy which emanates from all the men they usually
interact with.
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BETTER LIVING THROUGH CHEMISTRY
In exactly the same way that being around feminine energy draws out certain
chemicals in your body – like testosterone, oxytocin, etc – which make you feel calmer,
more confident, more charismatic and so on, when a girl is exposed to prolonged
contact with your physical presence (masculine energy), chemicals like oxytocin are
likewise being gradually released in her.
Keyword: “gradually”.
When the harvest is ripe – usually somewhere between forty five minutes to an hour
and a half spent interacting together – these chemicals, particularly oxytocin, reach a
certain point of saturation.
You will know that you have reached this point because of a change in her general
demeanour.
Where initially she might have been distant and cold towards you (nervousness,
distrust, discomfort = lack of oxytocin), by now she will have become warm, a little bit
silly, a little bit goofy, and more emotionally attached to you (trust, comfort, attraction,
sexual arousal = oxytocin abundance).
Her focus will generally be on you. When you look at each other you will be able to
gaze into each other’s eyes for a longer period of time (this is also connected to
oxytocin).
She may also touch you a lot and be more tactile and affectionate, but not necessarily.
Often she'll still be keeping her cards close and not expressing affection, so you still
need to trust that you are attractive to her and are becoming more so over time.
But generally speaking, the more time you spend together the less she'll seem like a
"super hot club girl" and more like a real person – vulnerable, flawed, imperfect, and
potentially attractive (now that you’re getting to know her) in ways that are real rather
than in ways that are the result of illusion, conditioning and mental fantasy.
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In other words, it’s time to float out of the club with your girl into the night, ideally in the
direction of somewhere isolated where sex can potentially happen.
There are other things, things that we’ll learn later on – actual “game”. Things like push/
pull, exploiting commitment bias, the killer instinct of a closer, and so on.
These are things I call the “dark arts”, or the “dark side of the force”.
But the “darks arts” are not necessary for sleeping with girls off cold approach.
They are merely a supplemental layer that can be added for fun if you want – a way of
passing the time.
Only approaching, re-approaching, enduring tests, and staying in set is necessary for
comfort, arousal and sex.
Spending time with the girl – so she can absorb your masculine energy and gradually
become attracted – is all you need.
How you choose to spend this time – topics of conversation, and so on – is quite
irrelevant.
You can talk about the most boring subjects – simply asking her where she goes to
college, and so on, and just spending time in each other’s physical presence will cause
her to become gradually attracted nonetheless – if you trust in your own value and the
fact that your presence alone is what causes attraction.
Then you leave together at the end of the night, possibly go to an after-hours diner or
afterparty, and eventually float home together.
You don’t need “good game”. Biology doesn’t discriminate between “good game” and
“bad game”.
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All you really need is a kind of foolish, innocent, pig-headed determination to stay in
set with the girl, and biology takes care of the rest.
Both kinds of men – and the whole spectrum in between – get laid regularly with
gorgeous girls from cold approach pickup.
And they do so because they unconsciously or consciously follow the process I’ve
outlined in this Blackbook.
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