Love, Intimacy, AndRelationship Bonsucan

Bonsucan, Tobit M.
BSN-1A
Define the terms: Love, Passion, Intimacy, Commitment, and Relationship.
Love- a complex phenomenon characterized by an affective and cognitive inclination to

someone and a set of social behaviors geared towards cohesion.
Passion- the emotive and physical component of love; drive towards sexual and
romantic attraction.
Intimacy- the psychological component of love; knowing and being known by
someone on a deeply personal level; emotional closeness and connection.
Commitment- decision to engage and maintain a loving relationship.
Relationship- the social bond between and among individuals manifested through
communication and other forms of interaction. This bond may be biological or
determined by social contracts such as social consensus or laws.
Research the different theories of Love.
 Psychodynamic Theory (Sigmund Freud)

- posits that we have desires and motives fueled by our life (eros) and death
(Thanatos) instincts. From a psychodynamic view, love can be seen as a
manifestation of our eros and the placement of our libido (life energy) unto an
object.
 Color wheel of love (John Alan Lee)
- there are different types of love. The primary types are eros (sexual and
romantic), philia (friendly), and storge (parental/filial love). The secondary types
are pragma (practical love), agape (universal love), and philautia (self-love). We
can experience not just one, but two or more of these types in our lifetime.
 Triangular model of Love (Robert Sternberg)
- this theory looks at love from a psychometric stance, which means that it is
generally concerned with trying to measure love as a psychological variable and
determining the various dimension and facets that love has as experienced by
people. According to Sternberg, love has three interlocking dimensions passion,
intimacy, and commitment. For instance, when there is only passion but no
other components, infatuation is formed. When there is only intimacy but no
other components, there is liking. When there is only commitment, there is
empty love. However, when there is passion and intimacy, there is romantic
love. When there is passion and commitment, there is ludic love. When there is
intimacy and commitment, there is friendly love. When all three components are
present, then we can say that consummate love exists.
 Romantic and Compassionate love (Hatfield and Rapson)
- suggest that there are two general types of love: romantic love and
compassionate love. Romantic love is characterized by intense passion. On the
other hand, Compassionate love is characterized by intense intimacy (emotional
closeness) which is also characteristic of liking.
 Love Languages (Gary Chapman)
- suggest that people have various ways through which they give and receive
love. Chapman posited that there are generally five love languages namely
words of affirmation, touch, time, gifts, and acts of service.
What are the Love languages?
Love languages are words of affirmation, touch, time, gifts, and acts of service.
 Words of affirmation
- verbally express their thoughts and feelings of love towards the people they
love. They may be comfortable saying “I love you” and articulating other words of
endearment.
 Touch
- express love non-verbally through hugs, kisses, or simply a tap on the back. They
value proximity and yearn for physical contact (not necessarily sexual in nature)
with their partners.
 Time
-tend to value quality moments with their loved ones. They are much more willing
to create memories with the people they love.
 Gifts
-want to show and receive affection through material objects, especially during
special occasions.
 Act of Service
-willing to serve the other person by helping her or him in things they do.
What are the stages of an intimate relationship? Explain Each.
 Acquaintance
- we meet up through circumstances and first learn basic information about one
another. Crucial at this stage is attraction. What does it take for a person to actually
decide to be acquainted with another? Attraction can take place in an enabling
environment. It can happen when there is proximity (when we are physically closer to
one another). It can happen when there is exposure (there are repeated possibilities of
interaction). It can also happen when there is similarity (common preference, interests,
and probably, beliefs and values.
 Buildup
- frequency of interaction increases. Kinds of activities shared become diverse. The
involved parties begin to introduce one another to each other’s friends and families,
thus, making the social network larger and more interconnected. This is the stage when
two people test their boundaries. They test the waters before engaging fully and so
committed in the relationship.
 Consolidation and Continuation
- this stage is when people commit to a long-term relationship with one another, either
through a personal agreement. What makes people commit to a relationship, to the
point of legitimizing it through marriage? Often, people set standards that are
sustainable (ex: the ability of each other to maintain a family or a household, the
readiness of each other to raise children, career, and financial capabilities.)
 Decline or Deterioration
-some intimate partnerships are unable to sustain and maintain their commitments or
attraction. For one, there may be a change in priorities between the individual couple,
such that the conjoint value of the partnership is not anymore sufficient. There may be
infidelity. Or, in other, there may be an irreconcilable difference.
 Ending
-Finally, for those intimate partnerships who are unable to address the causes and
circumstances leading to the deterioration of their relationship, the stages culminate
into the ending or termination of the agreements made through informal means.

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Bonsucan, Tobit M.

Define the terms: Love, Passion, Intimacy, Commitment, and Relationship.

Love- a complex phenomenon characterized by an affective and cognitive inclination to

Research the different theories of Love.

 Psychodynamic Theory (Sigmund Freud)

What are the Love languages?

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