Lesson 1: Knowing Oneself

Big Question: How can understanding yourself pave the way to self-acceptance and better
relationship with others?

Objectives: At the end of this module, you will be able to:

1. explain that knowing yourself can make you accept your strengths and limitations and dealing
with others better;

2. share your unique characteristics, habits and experiences; and,

3. start and maintain a journal.

Activity 1: SELF-CONCEPT INVENTORY

Take a look at your own self-concept and answer the following self-concept inventory in your journal.
Give yourself a rating using the scale: 0 = very weak; 1 = weak; 2 = somewhat weak or somewhat strong; 3 =

Scoring: Copy this table in your journal. Write your score opposite each number and get the subtotal.

Physical appeal 1 __________ Human Relations 5 __________ Communications: 17 __________

2 __________ 6 __________ 18 __________
3 __________ 7 __________ 19 __________
4 __________ 8 __________ 20 __________
Subtotal: Subtotal: Subtotal:

Intelligence: 9 __________ Character: 13 __________ Maturity: 24 __________

10 __________ 14 __________ 25 __________
11 __________ 15 __________ 26 __________
12 __________ 16 __________ 27 __________
Subtotal: Subtotal: Subtotal:

strong; 4 = very strong

___1. I have strong sex appeal.

___2. I am proud of my physical figure.

___3. I am physically attractive and ___13. I can be trusted in any transaction.

beautiful/handsome.
___14. I have a clean conscience and carry no guilty
___4. I exude with charm and poise. feeling.

___5. I am easy to get along with. ___15. I have integrity and good reputation.

___6. I can adjust to different people and different ___16. My friends and classmates can look up to me
situations. as a model worth emulating.

___7. I am approachable; other people are at ease ___17. I can express my ideas without difficulty.
and comfortable with me.
___18. I talk in a persuasive manner that I can easily
___8. I am lovable and easy to love. get people to accept what I say.

___9. I am a fast learner, can understand with one ___19. I can express my ideas in writing without
instruction. difficulty.

___10. I am intelligent. ___20. I am a good listener.

___11. I have special talents and abilities. ___21. I am emotionally stable and not easily rattled
when faced with trouble.
___12. I can easily analyze situations and make right
judgments.
___22. I am logical and rational in my outlook and
decisions.

___23. I feel and act with confidence.

___24. I am a mature person

How do you perceive yourself?

Look at the results of your self-concept inventory and answer the following questions.

1. In what areas do you consider yourself strong (with score 14-16 or somewhat weak (score of 10-13) and very
weak (below 10).

2. Are there qualities you consider as your weakness but other people consider as your strength? What are these?
Check with a partner.

Example: A lady can say “I`m ugly” yet other consider her very charming. Or conversely, one can have the illusion
of saying “I am very intelligent or competent” when most of his ideas sound unreasonable or illogical to most of
the people. There is indeed a big difference between what you see in yourself (real self-image) and what is
projected in the eyes of the others (your social image).

3. How realistic is your self- image?

4. To what extent does it reflect your real self?

Reading: SELF-CONCEPT

Self-concept is the person’s perceptions and beliefs about himself/herself. It is what you understand
about yourself. It includes your physical appearance, your body image, social character or abilities and your
thinking.

According to Rogers1, self-concept has three different components:

1. Self-worth- also called self-esteem, is the set of beliefs we hold about ourselves.

Rogers believed that for positive self-worth to develop, one has to receive unconditional positive
regard. Unconditional positive regard is acceptance no matter what a person says or does and
support in spite of mistakes and shortcomings.

2. Self-image- is how we see ourselves, such as whether we see ourselves as being attractive or unattractive.

This may also be called as our actual-self, it is built on self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is derived
from social interactions that provide insight into how others react to you. The actual self is who we
actually are. It is how we think, how we feel, look, and act. The actual self can be seen by others,
but because we have no way of truly knowing how others view us, the actual self is our self-image.

3. Ideal self- is the person we would like to be

This is the idealized image that we have developed over time, based on what we have learned and
experienced. The ideal self could include components of what our parents have taught us, what
we admire in others, what our society promotes, and what we think is in our best interest.

Our ideal selves have fulfilled our goals and ambitions. But the ideal self can change over time.
One’s goals and ambitions today may differ from the goals and ambitions you had when you were
in primary school.

Self-Concept and its Aspects

There are many aspects of yourself that can make up who you are and who you believe yourself to be.
Among them are:

1. The physical self

Are you tall? Are you petite? Are you pretty? Are you handsome?

Who you are physically is important to many people. For example, you are an active person, you
see to it that you are physically fit because you are the type who is always on the go. Being strong
and healthy is a big part of how you define yourself.

There are some, though, whose physical self is different. Some may be overweight and get tired
easily. The physical self is still part of their self-concept, but in an opposite manner that it is for
you: their physical self is out of shape and overweight.

2. The social self

Are you shy? Are you confident? Are you sociable?
Say, you are the type who does not have so many friends – just a few who are very close to you.
You like spending time with them and that every day you realize that you still discover new things
about them. This is part of your social self; that is, how you, as person, relate to others.
 3. The competent self
Are you good in sports? Can you swim? Can you draw?
Competence is the ability of a person to provide for their basic needs. For example, your best
friends is a hard worker and is able to achieve many things in school. She feels like she is
competent, which is a big part of her self-concept.
You, too, are competent but in a different. Your pride is on your baking. You do not really get
awards or recognitions in school but you bake like a professional and you still feel competent
because your family and friends appreciate the cupcakes and other pastries that you made for
them. Again, this is part of tour self-concept, even though it is different from your best friend’s
competent self.

4. The inner self

Are you happy? Can you make decisions easily? Are you pessimistic 2 or optimistic3?
Also sometime called as the psychological self, this is made up of the feelings and
thoughts that a person has deep inside them.
For example, you worry a lot about the future and what it will bring. You like to ponder
deep thoughts and read about philosophers that try to get at the meaning of life.
Your best friend, on the other hand, has no time for philosophy and the meaning of life. She is too
busy working for her achievements. But she does have an inner self, too. Hers is based around her
religion, faith and love of her family. She sees herself as someone who is faithful and loving to
God and her family.
As you can see, a person’s self-concept is made up of many aspects of themselves, and
different people can have very different self-concepts.

Thoughts to ponder:

I vs Me

Two elements are very evident to a person’s self – the “I” and the “Me”. The “I” is the person deep inside.
This is the part of a person that is antisocial and just about how you feel. For example, when you see someone
else being rude, you want to shove them and knock them down. This is you “I” at work: you feel something deeply
and want to react to it.

NOTE that, a person’s “I” is not always in charge. The ”Me” is the part of a person that is about being in
society. This is the part of a person that is about understanding and obeying the rules of society. For example,
though you might want to push a rude person, you still understand that it is not probably the best idea. Your “Me”
is figuring our the best way to act.
 Activity 2: My Banner:

The Treasure Within Me

In the spaces indicated by numbers, write down 7 positive words that my friends use to describe
the following me
1 and 2 two things I do very well 8 a personal goal that I have already achieved
3 and 4 my two greatest achievements in life 9 three blessings for which I am most thankful
to God
5 what in myself am I proudest of
10 three of my positive qualities
6 my happiest moment
11 difficulties, challenges and problems that I
was able to solve and overcome

Reading: YOU NEED TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR FUTURE

There are three kinds of people in this world: The first is the Moviegoer. This person
watches the movie of their lives, admires some parts and criticizes others. Aside from that, they
do nothing else. All she says the whole day is, “I like this thing and but I don’t like that thing.” The
Moviegoer feels she has absolutely no control of their lives --- except to comment about it.
Moviegoers are the most pathetic, miserable people in the world.
The second is the Actor. This person does not only watch the movie of her life. She
actually realizes she’s the Actor – and can control a big part of her life. She can actually make or
break the movie – by how well she delivers her lines and how she portrays her character. Actors
are a happy bunch, realizing they’re the start of the show and enjoy some level of control. But
many times, they wish the movie would end in another way – but realize that they have no say in
such things.
The third is the Scriptwriter. This person does not only watch, and she doesn’t only act,
but she actually creates the entire movie from her mind. She determines what she will say, what
she will do, and how the movie will end. She realizes she has enormous control over her life, and
sees to it that the movie of her life will turn out beautiful.
 I AM ME
I. From the list below, choose five qualities which you consider as your strengths. Rank your
choices from 1 to 5 (1 being your strongest point and 5 being your least strong point.)
___1. Affectionate (warm and caring) ___7. Forgiving (holds no grudges)
___2. Cheerful (happy and satisfied) ___8. Gentle (tender and kind to others)
___3. Conscientious (careful and industrious) ___9. Loyal (sticks to friends and values)
___4. Courageous (daring) ___10. Open-minded (open to new ideas, willing
to change)
___5. Enterprising (adventuresome)
___11. Self-confident (sure of yourself)
___6. Friendly (smiles easily)
___12. Strong (physically powerful)

II. Using the five qualities that you have chosen, make a creative advertisement
(poster/slogan) below to promote your strengths/talents.