How Are Dating Apps Shaping Our Behaviour and Does It Make Us More Keen To Use Unethical Methods Such As Ghosting?

The increase of ghosting behaviour with the usage of mobile dating apps - Mihai Ana-Maria
Master Degree - Behavioural Economics - University of Bucharest 2022 - Prof.coord. Luca Andreea
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How are dating apps shaping our behaviour and does it make us more keen
to use unethical methods such as ghosting?
The increase of ghosting behaviour with the usage of mobile dating apps
1. Abstract (150 words)

In online dating there are a lot of factors that change our behaviour when it comes to
interacting with people. There are also different expectations when it comes to the people
who are using the dating applications. Some of them are looking for closure, others are using
it for one night stands. By being exposed to such a wide number of people from where
people can choose it is easier to refuse to continue a conversation or relationship with
someone. After a survey was done with 50 participants it could be concluded that people are
more inclined to use digital communication in order to break up with their partners and also
when using mobile dating apps people are more inclined to ghost because of the superficial
relationships that are created based on the interface and the time spend judging someone
before swiping right or left and deciding to meet them in real life.
2. Introduction
Definition of Ghosting
Ghosting refers to “unilaterally ceasing communication (temporarily or permanently) in an

effort to withdraw access to individual(s) prompting relationship dissolution (suddenly or
gradually) commonly enacted via one or multiple technological medium(s)” (Freedman et al.,
2019; LeFebvre et al., 2019). Ghosting occurs when one individual involved in any type of
relationship(romantic or non romantic) decides to stop communicating through social media
platforms, or using any kind of technology in order to stop communicating with the other
person involved in the relationship (Timmermans 2021).
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Why has ghosting appeared and is used so much in the digital era?
It is easier to ghost these days on dating apps when the two persons know each other from a
few pictures, description provided and the interpretation of the other user facing the screen
(Withbourne 2015). The topic of ghosting in the use of mobile dating apps(MDAs) requires
more attention from the research side. As mentioned before MDAs give an opportunity to
meet a lot of new people which creates the idea of always having the possibility to find
something better if you swipe or search more. This gives the user the possibility to interact
with more than one person in which you have a romantic interest (Hobbs et al., 2017;
LeFebvre, 2018). Most of the time, the connections made on MDAs are outside their social
network (Yeo & Fung, 2016). Ghosting is more likely to appear between two people who
don't have a strong social and environmental overlap (Baxter, 1982). When they need to reject
an unwanted partner people often feel discomfort (Bohns & DeVincent, 2019). If someone
will ignore someone else in real life then this behaviour will be considered rude and it would
have more immediate consequences such as friends or family calling out the behaviour
towards the other person. But in the usage of MDAs since the relationship is so superficial,
the connection can be very easily broken by any small inconvenience done or said by the
other user(Tong & Walther, 2011).
What are the gamification elements used by dating apps and why does it affect our
behaviour?
As described by Christina Brown in 2018, Tinder is designed as a card game. You can’t
“reach another level/card” if you don’t interact with the card which is first on the deck. And if
both users swipe right to choose the other person then it is a match and both users can go “to
the next level” which is talking to each other. Another game element used by Tinder would be
the blurb messages if no user started the conversation yet, which are similar to calls to actions
from games. The MDA has also the possibility to “start chatting” or “keep swiping” which
was changed from “keep playing”. That also gives the impression that using the application is
like playing, therefore the actions you do in this application do not have so much meaning in
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the real world. This is why it is easier to have worse behaviour on dating apps because it
dehumanises the users by not interacting with them in real life.
Because of this, the reason why some people choose to ghost other people is that they are
assaulted with racist or rude messages on private chat. Those conversations are screenshotted
and posted on Instagram pages like Tinder Nightmares and Bye Felipe dedicated specifically
for this (Thompson (2018), Hess and Flores (2018)).
When it comes to affordance the swiping method leaves the user to judge the person mostly
by the first picture(s) which is very superficial when it comes to creating a deeper connection
in the first place(Ranzini 2020). This creates an emotional distance towards the investment in
dating relationships(Krüger & Spilde, 2020). At the same time, based on the movie “Tinder
Swindler” we can see that the victims were very impressed by the images the swindler posted
on his Tinder account. Those were portraying him as a rich man, but in reality he was able to
afford that lifestyle by tricking women into sending him huge amounts of money. Because of
the superficial perception those women created about this man, they got very fast involved
romantically with him. This made them change their behaviour into believing his story and
trust the persona the swindler created on the dating app, sustained by fancy dinner and private
jet travel(Radio Times, 2022). This concludes in the superficiality people spend on knowing
the person before getting into a romantic relationship(Musan, 2020).
3. Method (according to the design of your research)
The experimenter manipulates several questions which are uploaded on Userlytics and
chooses a wide variety of participants with the restraint that the participants are using or they
used mobile dating applications. The survey should measure the amount of times people
ghosted someone they dated/met through dating apps and the amount of ghosting they did or
received when they met a romantic partner through a traditional way of dating(in a bar,
through mutual friends, at school/university/work).
a. Participants
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The study requires participants for the questionnaire who meet the following criteria:
proficient English abilities to understand correctly the questions in the form, age above 18 so
they can give their own consent into collecting their data, being able and willing to self-reflect
on the behaviours that they have when using MDAs. The participants were found through the
platform Userlytics. The participants who were selected for answering the form were put
through some filters such as: above 18, from Europe, and all genders, active users of mobile
dating applications, people who ghoster or have been ghosted, are capable of recalling their
own memories.
Every participant had to check a box before starting the survey which informed them that
their data will be used for research purposes(see Appendix A). The text contained
information about the purpose of the study, where the date will be used and published,
background of the researchers which included contact information to be able to redraw the
data if the participant wished to do so.
b. Instruments
The survey measured the following groups of variables: demographic information, behaviour
in online dating, behaviour outside online dating, and experienced ghosting.
First, the participants were asked if they “are using mobile dating applications” in
order to establish faster if they are a good fit for the data collection. If they would reply with
“No” they would be redirected to the end of the survey. If they replied with “Yes” then they
would have accessed the demographic questions such as “what is your age?”, “what is your
gender?”(“male”, “female”, “other”), “what is your nationality?”(any nationality were
accepted), and “what is your sexual orientation?”(“heterosexual”, “gay/lesbian”, “bi-sexual”
“other”).
Next, the participants were asked about their behaviour on dating before starting to
use mobile dating applications. The first question from this section was “How many romantic
partners did you have?”, followed by “How many of them did you meet through mobile
dating apps?”. The next question was “What was the main channel of communication in the
relationship?”(“Messenger”, “dating apps”, “Instagram”, “Snapchat”, “Tiktok”, “others”).
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Fourth question was about “Where did your breakup take place?” (“Online environment”,
“face to face”). Next question open-question was “Can you briefly describe your breakups
and if they have a pattern of ghosting?”
Next question was “How many of your romantic partners you met through mobile
dating apps ghosted you?”, followed by “What is the reason your partner(s) ghosted you?”.
The next question was “How many of your romantic partners met through mobile dating apps
did you ghost?” and “What was the reason you ghosted them?”.
Next section was about describing the dates and if they thought something led to
ghosting from their interaction which did not give them the opportunity to speak clearly about
what they feel towards the other person. First question from this section was “Do you
consider yourself a person who avoids conflict?”(“Yes”, “No”). “If you are a person who is
avoiding conflict this also means you will prefer to choose to ghost someone instead of giving
them the reason you want to stop communicating with them?” (“Yes, I prefer to ghost
someone to avoid possible future conflict”, “No, I would tell them the truth because I think
this is the ethical way to do things even if I like avoiding conflicts”, “Other open answer”).
The next question was “If you are not a person who is avoiding conflict, do you often ghost or
you communicate the reason you do not want to continue communicating with the other
person?”(“Yes, I ghost”, “No, I communicate the reason”). The next question was “When did
you realise you do not want to continue seeing the person you were on date with that you met
through an MDA?”(“While being on the date”, “After they did something not aligned with
my values/expectations”, “After the date, when I arrived home”, “Other open answer”),
followed by “When did you get ghosted by your date that you met through a MDA?” (“After
our first date”, “After several days we had our first date”, “Other open answers”).
c. Procedure
The relevant data which was taken into consideration for the research paper was given by 50
participants. The participants who did not use online dating apps were excluded from the
survey from the first question and were not taken into consideration.
In order to investigate the research questions, an online survey was needed. The questionnaire
was conducted in English and it was published on the website Userlytics. This study has
research purposes for academic domain and it is a sum of multiple studies combined. Some
questions were inspired from other studies and rephrased in such a way to serve the scope of
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this research paper. The questionnaire consists of 20 questions and Userlytics predicted the
response time to be 15 minutes.
4. Results/expected results
a. Analytic strategy/analysis of data
General information of the study group
All participants (N=50) were currently using mobile dating apps with age between 18 and 45,
with an average age of 28.3 which contains young adults given the large age range. The
majority of the participants were Romanians, straight females who are using mobile dating
apps in the present (see Table 1).
Table 1 / Demographics of the study group (N=50)
Demographics Frequency %
Nationality Romanians 30 60%
Bulgarians 11 22%
Greek 9 18%
Other 0
Gender Male 13 26%
Female 35 70%
Other 2 4%
Sexual Orientation Heterosexual 45 90%
Gay/Lesbian 3 6%
Bisexual 2 4%
Other 0
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Behaviour on dating before and after using online dating apps

From the results we can see a significant increase in ghosting behaviour. 50% of the users
kept in touch with the partners they met on MDAs through instagram and other apps.
Table 2
Variable Frequency %
How many romantic partners did you Average answer 10

have?
How many of them did you meet Average answer 5

through mobile dating apps?
What was the main channel of Messenger 2 4%

communication in the relationship?
Dating apps 3 6%
Instagram 10 20
Snapchat 2 4%
TikTok 8 16%
Others 25 50%
Where did the breakup take place? Online environment 35 70%
Face to face 15 30%
How many of your romantic partners Average answer 2

you met through MDA ghosted you?
How any of your romantic partners Average answer 1

that you met through MDAs did you
ghost?
What was the reason you ghosted 56 % of this open question

them? has as answer “different
perspective about life”
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Describing the dates and if something triggered the ghosting behaviour from one of the
sides
From the results it could be deducted that most of the users do not identify as persons who are
avoiding conflict. Even so, 40% of them said that they would ghost even if they identify
themselves as persons who are not avoiding conflict. 70% of the participants will ghost
someone if the other person did something that is not aligned with their values or
expectations.
Table 3
Variable Frequency %
Do you consider yourself a person who Yes 21 42%

avoids conflict?
No 29 58%
If you are a person who is avoiding conflict, Yes, i prefer to ghost someone to 11 22%
this also means you will prefer to choose to avoid possible future conflict
ghost someone instead of giving them the
reason you want to stop communicating with
them?
No, I would tell them the truth 10 20%

because i think this is the ethical
way to do things even if I like
avoiding conflicts
If you are not a person who is avoiding Yes, I ghost 20 40%

conflict, do you often ghost or you
communicate the reason you do not want to
continue communicating with the other
person?
No, I communicate the reason 9 18%
When did you realise you do not want to While being on the date 10 20%
________________________________________________________________________________
continue seeing the person you were on a

date with, that you met through a MDA?
After they did something not 35 70%

aligned with my
values/expectations
After the date, when I arrived 5 10%

home
When did you get ghosted by your date that After our first date 12 24%
you met through a MDA?
After several days we had our 38 76%

first date
b. Interpretation of the results

It seems that people like to identify themselves as persons who are tough, and are facing
conflicts, but when it really comes to it, they would choose to ghost. Also noy ghosting
someone immediately after the date finished gives the idea that people are still thinking if
they should say something about the reason they don't want to see the other person. Another
reason for being ghosted a few days after the first date is that they just leave the opportunity
there to be searched by the other person in order to give them a boost of confidence that they
are searched for or wanted. And in that moment they can be rude or just reply very slowly
after several hours or even days. Another conclusion that can be taken from the results is that
more people started to use social media platforms or online communication platforms to
break up with their partner. This also highlights a shift in behaviour of people. In this way the
person who initiates the break up does not have to face the reactions of their ex-partner. The
message can be sent, then the phone or laptop can be put away and maybe in this way the
pain is less. Depending on how much the person who initiates the breakup is still involved in
the relationship, the reaction to a reply can also differ from person to person.
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5. Discussion and conclusions

We can say that ghosting increased as a behaviour because of the superficial relationships that
can happen on dating apps. This behaviour could not be realistic in other social groups since
it is not so common to have access to so many people at once and be able to speak with the
majority of them. If we make a comparison, going to a club does not give you the possibility
to know who is interested in you, as there is on the dating apps. So even if the people were in
a context where there were a lot of people it would be hard to start a conversation with
someone who the person would be interested in. The fear of rejection could be more intense
in real life than in the virtual world. If you receive a rejection on Tinder then you can easily
swipe through the other users. But in real life it would take some time to get over a rejection
and enjoy the rest of the time. Ghosting is not so powerful when received from people met
from the dating apps that the user went on a few dates. The lack of connection, memories and
mutual friends can make the ghosting less painful in comparison with ghosting from a long
relationship partner. The results show that people prefer to use digital communication in order
to ghost or break up with their partner. Further investigations are encouraged for such a new
topic.
6. APA Bibliography (7th Ed.)
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ir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=ghosting%20in%20dating%20apps&f=false
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mobile daters’ ghosting experiences. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(2),
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The increase of ghosting behaviour with the usage of mobile dating apps - Mihai Ana-Maria

1. Abstract (150 words)

Ghosting refers to “unilaterally ceasing communication (temporarily or permanently) in an

3. Method (according to the design of your research)

Table 1 / Demographics of the study group (N=50)

Nationality Romanians 30 60%

Gender Male 13 26%

Sexual Orientation Heterosexual 45 90%

Behaviour on dating before and after using online dating apps

How many romantic partners did you Average answer 10

How many of them did you meet Average answer 5

What was the main channel of Messenger 2 4%

Where did the breakup take place? Online environment 35 70%

Face to face 15 30%

How many of your romantic partners Average answer 2

How any of your romantic partners Average answer 1

What was the reason you ghosted 56 % of this open question

Do you consider yourself a person who Yes 21 42%

No, I would tell them the truth 10 20%

If you are not a person who is avoiding Yes, I ghost 20 40%

No, I communicate the reason 9 18%

continue seeing the person you were on a

After they did something not 35 70%

After the date, when I arrived 5 10%

After several days we had our 38 76%

b. Interpretation of the results

5. Discussion and conclusions

6. APA Bibliography (7th Ed.)

Bohns, V. K., DeVincent, L. A. (2019). Rejecting unwanted romantic advances is more

LeFebvre, L. E. (2017). Ghosting as a relationship dissolution strategy in the technological

LeFebvre, L. E. (2018). Swiping me off my feet: Explicating relationship initiation on

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