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    What Is Compersion

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    Henrique Barbosa Guimarães
    Compersion is the feeling of joy one experiences from another person's joy and happiness, including from their relationships, even if it does not directly involve or benefit you. It is considered radical when experienced in situations that would normally elicit jealousy, such as a romantic partner's intimacy with someone else. Cultivating compersion can strengthen relationships by creating a positive feedback loop of generosity and love. The term was coined by a polyamorous community in the 1990s but the concept of sympathetic joy has long existed, including in Buddhist traditions.

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    What Is Compersion

    Uploaded by

    Henrique Barbosa Guimarães
    105 views1 page
    Compersion is the feeling of joy one experiences from another person's joy and happiness, including from their relationships, even if it does not directly involve or benefit you. It is considered radical when experienced in situations that would normally elicit jealousy, such as a romantic partner's intimacy with someone else. Cultivating compersion can strengthen relationships by creating a positive feedback loop of generosity and love. The term was coined by a polyamorous community in the 1990s but the concept of sympathetic joy has long existed, including in Buddhist traditions.

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    What is Compersion

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    Compersion is the feeling of joy one experiences from another person's joy and happiness, including from their relationships, even if it does not directly involve or benefit you. It is considered radical when experienced in situations that would normally elicit jealousy, such as a romantic partner's intimacy with someone else. Cultivating compersion can strengthen relationships by creating a positive feedback loop of generosity and love. The term was coined by a polyamorous community in the 1990s but the concept of sympathetic joy has long existed, including in Buddhist traditions.

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    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    105 views1 page

    What Is Compersion

    Uploaded by

    Henrique Barbosa Guimarães
    Compersion is the feeling of joy one experiences from another person's joy and happiness, including from their relationships, even if it does not directly involve or benefit you. It is considered radical when experienced in situations that would normally elicit jealousy, such as a romantic partner's intimacy with someone else. Cultivating compersion can strengthen relationships by creating a positive feedback loop of generosity and love. The term was coined by a polyamorous community in the 1990s but the concept of sympathetic joy has long existed, including in Buddhist traditions.

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    W H AT I S C O M P E R S I O N ?

    COMPERSION:
    A RADICAL LOVE
    PHENOMENON

    What is compersion?
    Compersion is our wholehearted participation in
    the happiness of others. It is the sympathetic joy
    we feel for somebody else, even when their
    positive experience does not involve or benefit us
    directly. Thus, compersion can be thought of as
    the opposite of jealousy and possessiveness.

    Why is it radical?
    Compersion depends on viewing other people as
    intrinsically autonomous and self-determined—
    and celebrating their own unique path to
    fulfillment. This might not seem radical when we
    feel happy for a friend getting a promotion at
    work, a family member reaching a fitness goal, or
    a child delighting in learning how to walk. But
    what if our romantic partner were to experience
    happiness and growth from an intimate
    relationship with somebody else? Could we possibly
    rejoice with them?

    When compersion happens in a situation where


    jealousy is the more common or conditioned
    response, we are, in a sense, entering the radical,
    outer reaches of love. Therefore, people who
    experience compersion in those unexpected places
    can be considered pioneers of a significant human
    potential. This is why I decided to conduct
    research on this phenomenon—so I could learn
    about this unconventional yet powerful expression
    of human love.

    Why does it matter?


    Learning about compersion can benefit people in
    all types of relationships. Whether one is in a
    consensually non-monogamous relationship (a
    designation that includes polyamory, open
    relationships, swinging, relationship anarchy, and
    others) or not, compersion conveys to another
    person that we genuinely support them on their
    chosen path to wellbeing. This encourages
    authentic emotional expression, which in turn
    reinforces a sense of togetherness and being on the
    same team. Generosity begets generosity, and love
    begets love—creating a positive emotional
    feedback loop. Thus, compersion is fundamentally
    an expression of deep friendship and support, and
    it can be cultivated as a way to strengthen any
    connection. (Check out my latest blog to read
    more on this)

    How did the word come


    about?
    The term compersion was coined and defined in
    the early 1990s by the Kerista community, a San
    Francisco-based polyamorous group that has since
    disbanded, as the feeling of taking joy in the joy that
    others you love share among themselves. In the
    context of consensually non-monogamous
    romantic and sexual relationships, compersion
    refers to the empathetic feeling of joy one
    experiences when their partner takes pleasure from
    another relationship.

    Although polyamorists were the first to coin this


    term in the English language, the concept had
    existed long before.

    Buddhists had long considered sympathetic joy


    (referred to as mudita in Sanskrit) to be one of the
    four qualities of the enlightened person—the
    other three being loving kindness (metta),
    compassion (karuna), and equanimity (upeksha).
    According to this tradition, mudita remedies the
    illusory separateness between self and others and
    can therefore be a powerful vehicle on the path to
    liberation. You can learn more about the
    connection between compersion and mudita in
    this article.

    How does one cultivate


    compersion?
    My research has revealed the specific factors that
    promote and hinder compersion for consensually
    non-monogamous individuals. This dissertation is
    the most comprehensive piece of writing
    published to date on the topic of compersion, as it
    contains a thorough background of the literature,
    interview transcripts of real people’s compersion
    stories, and a practical map to understanding what
    invites vs. blocks compersion in intimate
    relationships.

    Please download my full dissertation here, and


    check out my blog as well as a compiled list of
    resources and media appearances.
    If you enjoy and find value in this work, please
    consider making a donation to support my
    continued dedication to disseminating knowledge
    around this important concept!

    Should you want personal support around


    developing more compersion into your
    relationships, please learn about my coaching
    services & book a free 30-min exploratory
    session here.

    I am sending you warm wishes & look forward to


    meeting you!

    COACHING WITH DR. MARIE

    STAY
    CONNECTED
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    MY GIFT TO YOU: FREE


    COMPERSION HANDBOOK

    - Discover the 6 elements that promote


    empathic joy in consensually non-
    monogamous relationships

    - Discern myths from realities about


    compersion

    - Understand where YOU are on your


    compersion journey with a personalized
    worksheet

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