Poem
Closure.
The emotion I’m feeling is hard to explain,
It hurt to realize that you were only loving in vain.
The warning signs were massive, and flashing red,
But my gullible mind decided to listen to you instead.
In a constant state of confusion and almost insanity,
I often think what if I’m to blame for how you treated me?
Maybe I am too sensitive, too dramatic, too easily bruised.
Just like you said, and you even seemed somewhat amused.
I often wonder why I wasn’t enough for you.
Why did you need those other girls, too?
Whenever you got angry at me, I’d always aimlessly apologize,
Constantly asking myself, what did I do wrong this time?
Sometimes I still wonder if you’re doing okay,
And if that new girl who was “just a friend” might make you happy someday.
Are you just going to toy with her, as you did with the others,
Or does she really give you butterflies when she talks about being your new
lover?
Almost two months gone by, and I think I’m doing okay,
Not that you care how I’m doing, anyway.
Sometimes I miss that fairytale prince that I’ve created in my head,
But you ended up being the antagonist from the childhood stories I’ve read.
Internet
https://allpoetry.com/poems/about/emotional-abuse
Short Story: Emotional abuse;
the art of hurting women
The most difficult type of violence is emotionally related. I struggled with
low self-esteem and when I dated a guy who made me feel worse about
myself, I blamed myself. I thought it was my fault all over again. I
gradually withdrew from my friends; I was sad and smoked cigarettes for
the entire time we were together when he’d make me cry.
Strangely, we were not married, had no children and the option of leaving
was on the table but for some reason I never left this guy. Maybe
occasionally telling me that he loves me was the reason I never left.
Although he claimed to love me he would cheat, dated several women and
I caught him red-handed one time. He promised that he was going to
change but it went on for three years until recently when I decided to leave
him.
He never wanted to go out with me insisting that it was better for me to go
alone. When I would suggest dinner together, he would tell me to go and
make new friends. One time, I suggested a vacation together but he
refused. He told me that I would be fine and there would be other people
vacationing alone like me, so I wouldn’t be bored. I wondered what was
wrong with me.
One day he told me that I was a dark cloud, and then claimed to love me
the next. He usually blamed his attitude on his ex who hurt him so bad.
He’d promise me trips, dates –even a baby - and each time I thought it
would be in the near future. I always had that positive energy in me
thinking things would work out but it was not so.
Last year I promised myself that I was going to focus on myself. I started
working out, made new friends and started going out with them and
entertained them at home over the weekend. I started to challenge him and
his actions. After he realised that I was no longer the same person, he
started victimising himself until I got to the point that even with a clear
mind, better self image- there was no changing this guy. Late last year, I
told him I had had enough. It was hard but I walked away.
Growing up, I watched my mom go through physical abuse and I wasn’t
able to go through another experience like that. However, it’s very hard to
know that you are going through emotional abuse while trying to figure
out what you deserve. We complicate the whole situation when we think
“we” are the problem. If a man makes you cry, disrespects you, is ashamed
to walk with you, and the only time he is kind to you is when he wants sex,
you might be going through emotional abuse too.
