RESUME IX

MARRIAGE COUNSELING

“Differentiation Between Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, and Family

Counseling”

Lecturer :
Dr. Nurfarhanah, S.Pd., M.Pd., Kons

Created By:
Azahra Hardi Cusinia
19006069

DEPARTEMENT OF GUIDANCE AND COUNSELING

FACULTY OF EDUCATION

UNIVERSITAS NEGERI PADANG

2022
 Marriage Counseling Models and Stages of Marriage Counseling

A. Models of Marriage Counseling

1. Psychoanalytic Approach
In psychoanalysis, problems faced by family members or the family as a
whole are always assumed to be due to past pathological disorders. For example,
a father still remembers his father who has passed away, he feels as if "his father
is still living with him". As a result he then treats his son now, as his father used
to treat him.
Another example, how a mother who is always rude and berates her
daughter who is considered to like preening and "selling looks" to her male
friends. Because this mother always connected this situation with her secret
fantasy in the past, which she could never do. That's why then his daughter now,
became the projected target of his anger because of the past that he never achieved.
The counselor should guide the client to become aware of the "psychic
wounds" of his subconscious in the past, and make him aware of his current role
as a parent. It is hoped that the awareness of parents will be opened, to achieve
changes for themselves and for the sake of their current situation and family
happiness.
2. Client-Centered Therapy
Carl R. Roger in his book "On Becoming a Person" states that family
relationships can be lived on a reasonable basis, honest, genuine, not pretending
or false. Therefore, family members are allowed to express their thoughts and
feelings openly, learn to communicate in two directions, accept and respect each
other, and allow others to have different thoughts and feelings.
3. Gestalt Therapy
Gestalt theory pays attention to what family members do, how they say it,
what happens when they say it, how their words relate to their actions, and
whether they try to complete their actions.
4. Behavioral Therapy
 The role of the Behavioral counselor has extended the principles of social
learning theory to family counseling. Learning procedures that are commonly
used to change behavior are applied to change problematic behavior in a family.
Family members learn how to give other members recognition and approval of
desired behaviors rather than deviant behavior. Therefore the process of change
and behavioral possibilities is the basic principle of behavioral counseling in the
family.
5. Frankl logotherapy
Family life determines the starting point of a child's development. If family
life falls apart, it often causes frustration for their children. There will be
deviations in children's behavior such as drinking, smoking, even smoking
marijuana and so on.
6. Rational Emotional Therapy (RET)
The purpose of RET in family counseling is essentially the same as that
applicable in individual counseling or group counseling. In RET family members
are responsible for their own actions and try to change their reactions to family
situations.
Family members in RET have little power to directly change others. They themselves
have to control their thoughts and feelings individually. Each individual in the family
is in a state of monitoring his own behavior change, which indirectly.
B. Stages of Marriage Counseling
In general, the individual counseling process is divided into three stages, namely as
follows:
1. Early Stages of Counseling
This initial stage occurs from the time the client meets the counselor
until the counseling process runs and finds the definition of the client's
problem. This early stage Cavanagh (1982) mentions the term introduction
and environmental support. The counselors in this early stage of the
counseling process are as follows:
 a. Build a counseling relationship that involves clients who are
experiencing problems. At this stage the counselor tries to build a
relationship by involving the client and discussing with the client.
b. Clarify and define the problem. If the counseling relationship has been
well established and the client has been involved, then the counselor
must be able to help clarify the client's problem, because often the
client is not easy to explain the problem but only knows the symptoms
of the problem he is experiencing.
c. Make an assessment of alternative assistance to overcome the problem.
Counselors try to explore or assess possible problems and design
possible assistance, namely by generating all the potential of the client,
and the right environment to overcome the client's problem.
d. Negotiate contracts. Establish an agreement between the counselor and
the client, containing: (1) a time contract, namely how long the
meeting time is desired by the client and the counselor does not object;
(2) Duties contract, namely the sharing of tasks between the counselor
and the client; (3) Cooperation contracts in the counseling process,
namely the establishment of shared roles and responsibilities between
counselors and counseling in the whole series of counseling activities.
2. Middle stage
After the initial stage is well implemented, the next counseling process
is entering the core stage or work stage. At this stage there are several things
that must be done, including:
a. Exploring and exploring client concerns and concerns. Problem
exploration is intended so that clients have new understanding and
alternative solutions to the problems they are experiencing. If the client
is excited, it means that the client has been so involved and open in the
counseling process.
b. Maintain the counseling relationship is maintained. This can happen
if:
 1) Clients feel happy to be involved in counseling talks or
interviews, and show a need to develop from and solve the
problems they face.
2) Counselors try to creatively develop various counseling
techniques and maintain friendliness, empathy, honesty, and
sincerity in providing counseling assistance.
The counseling process to run according to the contract. The agreement that
has been built at the time of the contract is maintained, both by the counselor and the
client. Because the contract is negotiated in order to really expedite the counseling
process.
3. Final stage of counseling
At this final stage there are several things that need to be done, namely:
a. Counselors with clients make conclusions about the results of the
counseling process.
b. Develop an action plan that will be implemented based on the
agreement that has been built from the previous counseling process.
c. Evaluate the course of the counseling process and results (immediate
assessment). Make an appointment for the next meeting.
C. Marriage counseling techniques
In general, the individual counseling process is divided into three stages, namely as
follows:
1. Cognitive Techniques
In cognitive technique, a behavior disorder that occurs is not due to the
presence of the individual in a family situation, but because of his perception and
interpretation of the family situation. For example, a child thinks that his parents
do not deserve to be poor, in his mind it is because his parents do not want to work
hard. The idea of a child like this causes him to be emotionally disturbed by
behavior such as being lazy at school, smoking and so on.
2. Emotive Technique
This technique is designed to show family members that their feelings are
the result of their thinking. Evocative and Dramatic Techniques are common ways
 to change one's philosophy and beliefs. Mautsby (in Willis, 2009:127) this
technique is used to extinguish or stop unwanted habits and replace them with
new desired habits. The client is asked to imagine bad feelings (eg horror, anger,
hopelessness) and then replaced with feelings of calm, patience, and optimism.
3. Behavioral Techniques
This technique is a basic part of RET in family counseling. Family
members are given homework assignments that must be done in real situations in
the family, and not just imagined. To avoid unpleasant situations, parents try to
change situations and ways that are not appropriate in the family. The use of a
contract with a counselor is necessary to ensure that homework is done by the
family.
 BIBLIOGRAPHY
Latino. 2001. Counseling Psychology. UMM Press: Malang
Mufidah Ch. 2008. Islamic Family Psychology with Gender Insight, UIN Malang Press:
Malang,
Phihasniawati. 2008. Counseling Psychology. UMM Press: Malang
Prayitno and Erman Amti. 2004. Basics of Counseling Guidance. Jakarta: Rineka Cipta