PRONOUNS

• A pronoun is a word that takes

the place of one or more nouns.
• The most frequently used
pronouns are called personal
pronouns. They refer to people
or things.
• Case is the form of a pronoun
that shows its use in a sentence.
• There are three cases:
nominative
objective
possessive

CASES OF PRONOUNS
• A subject of a sentence is in the
nominative case.
I like classical music.
He and she sold tickets.
They traveled around the world.

NOMINATIVE CASE
• To help you choose the correct
pronoun in a compound subject,
take out the other person and try
each form of the pronoun
separately.
Amy and (me , I) like to dance.
Me like to dance.
I like to dance.
Amy and I like to dance.
• A predicate nominative follows a
linking verb and defines or renames
the subject.
• A predicate nominative is also in the
nominative case.
The last one to leave was he.
The fastest runners are she and I.
• To help you choose the correct form
of a pronoun used as a predicate
nominative, remember that the
pronoun could just as well be used
as the subject in the sentence.
An object pronoun is used as the:

• Object of a preposition
• Direct Object
• Indirect Object

OBJECTIVE CASE
• A direct object, an indirect object,
and an object of a preposition are in
the objective case.
Ivan surprised them.
Uncle Raymond took me to the
studio.
Jisoo gave her a letter.
• A direct object is a noun or pronoun that
receives the action of the action verb. A
direct object answers the question what
or who.
• To help you choose the correct pronoun
in a compound direct object, take out
the other person and try each form of
the pronoun separately in the sentence.
We met Tara and (her , she) at the
video arcade.
We met her at the video arcade.
We met she at the video arcade.
We met Tara and her at the video
arcade.
• An indirect object is a noun or pronoun
that comes between the verb and the
direct object. It tells to whom or to what,
or for whom or for what the action of the
verb is done.
Coach Mendez gave them a pep talk.
His mother built him a footlocker.
Mr. Diaz gave us posters of the solar
system.
• To help you choose the correct pronoun in
a compound indirect object, take out the
other person and try each form of the
pronoun separately in the sentence.

Our neighbor gave Diana and (I , me) a job

for the summer.
Our neighbor gave I a job for the summer.
Our neighbor gave me a job for the summer.
Our neighbor gave Diana and me a job for
the summer.
An object of a preposition is in the
objective case.

When did you mail the package to

them?
Are you still planning to go to the
movies with us?
The reward money was divided
equally between him and her.
• It shows ownership or possession.

I didn't have my textbook for English

class, so Brian lent me his.
Your travel plans sound just as exciting
as mine!

POSSESSIVE CASE
 Quick Summarizing Strategies to Use in the Classroom

Written Summaries Brief Description of the Strategy

3-2-1 List: 3 main points (or 3 “somethings”), 2 controversial ideas (or two things I
disagree with), and 1 question related to the key concept or learning
Ticket Out The Door/Exit Ticket This can be the answer to any question about the day’s work that you pose
One “clever” way to pose the question is to ask them to answer “So What?”
Other generic questions could be “What do I want to remember?,” “What was I
supposed to learn from this lesson/reading/topic?,” “How could I communicate
what I’ve learned to someone else?,” etc.
The Important Thing Three important ideas/things from the lesson today are ---, ---, and ---, but the
most important thing I learned today is ---.
Questions to the Teacher List 3 (or any number) of questions you would still like clarified
Squares, Triangles, Circles List 4 things that “square with my thinking”; 3 “angles” I disagree with (or 3
details to support --, or 3 things for which I need more information, 3 “different
ways to look at the idea,” etc.); and 1 question “circling” in my head
Acrostics Give students a key word/concept from the lesson. They must then write a
detail or descriptor that starts with each of the letters of the key word/concept
Carousel Brainstorming On chart paper around the room (or on paper that is passed around groups), ask
small groups of students (3-4) to respond to a question or statement posed at the
top of the paper. After a short period of time, student groups move on to
another piece of chart paper/topic, and read what has been written about that
topic and add to or respond to it. Key reminder: Ahead of time prepare the
chart paper and the different topics, insuring that you have enough “stations” so
that every group is at one station during each rotation. These charts and
responses can be used as a lesson activator or review the next day.
$2 Summaries With each word worth 10 cents, write a $2 summary of the learning from the
lesson.
This can be scaffolded by giving students specific words related to the learning
that they must include in their summaries. This can be increased to any amount
of money.
Gist Students are given a grid of blanks (any number, depending on the age/level of
the student and the level of complexity of the topic). They must fill each blank
with a word or phrase helps capture the “gist” of the learning.
Headline Summaries Similar to $2 summaries, have students write a newspaper headline that gives
the main points of the lesson.
Journals If students keep journals for the course, have the summarizing activity be an
entry in the journal. You might include a prompt to get them started.
RAFT A writing “situation” where students choose Role (from whose point of view),
Audience (the specific reader to whom the piece is being written), Form or
Format (a letter, memo, list, email, etc.), Topic (specific subject of the writing)
K-W-L If you started the lesson with a K-W-L (what I Know, what I Want to know,
what I Learned), then complete the L(learned) section as the summary.
Revisit Anticipation Guide Ask students to go back to the anticipation guide from the beginning of the
lesson and revise their answers. You can also ask them to justify the changes.
Vanity Tag/Bumper Sticker Write a vanity tag for a car or a bumper sticker that describes the key ideas from
the lesson.
Think-Pair-Write Similar to Think-Pair-Share, students are given a topic/question, they brainstorm
it with a partner, but then each student writes his/her own response.
Think-Write-Share Similar to above but the sharing is oral. Students think about a question, write a
response, then share with their partners.
Word Splash Students are given a “splash” of the key words from the lesson. They must
write a few meaningful sentences (summarize the learning) using these words.
Key Points Summary Students make a list of bulleted key points of the learning from the lesson.

Compiled by Ann Lewis, Laurel School District; and Aleta Thompson, Cape Henlopen School District; April 2010 1
 Quick Summarizing Strategies to Use in the Classroom
Written Conversations Each student begins the answer to a question or prompt posed by the teacher.
Then after 1 or 2 minutes of writing, they exchange their papers (or pass them
around). Then they spend 1-2 minutes responding to the writing/thinking on the
paper they receive. Then they pass the paper the paper back (or on) and
continue the process. Limit the time, using a timer or other signal, so that
students are always left thinking they have more to say.
SQ3R Survey, Question, Read, Recite, Review. While this is a teaching/reading
strategy, the last part of it could constitute a summary at the end of the
reading/lesson.
See: http://www.studygs.net/texred2.htm
Changing Points of View Ask students to do a quick-write about a topic related to the learning from
lesson from a very specific point of view. (i.e., What would X say about --?)
Sample Test Questions Ask students to write one or several possible test questions related to the
learning of the lesson. These questions should not be yes/no or one-word
answer questions. An easy way to do this is to use index cards or half-pieces of
paper, and ask the student to write the question on one side and an acceptable,
detailed answer on the other.
These questions can be collected and then redistributed the next day and used as
a “warm up” or “lesson activator.”
One-Sentence Summary Summarize in one sentence the key point of the lesson (be specific about what
to summarize—i.e., the importance of ---)
Paragraph Summary Instead of writing a sentence, students expand. You can ask them to describe at
least 3 reasons or support or details
Dear Student Letter Write a letter to an absent student telling him/her --- (the point of the lesson, the
steps in a process, the details learned through the lesson, etc.)
A variation could be “Dear Teacher” or “Dear Citizen/Voter,” (depending on
the purpose of the learning or the topic and the content area)
Aha! and Huh? Write down 1 or 2 “ahas” (something you learned) and 1 or 2 “huhs” (things
you still have questions about)
6-Word Memoirs In 6 words, what did you learn? (This is a variation of the Smith Magazine
writing contest)
For samples, see: http://sixwordmemoirs.aarpmagazine.org/ or
http://www.smithmag.net/sixwords/
Framed Paragraph Do a paragraph skeleton or frame which students have to complete (for
example: XX happened because of 3 important factors. The first is – and it
caused ---. The second is – and it caused ---. Etc.)
Sentence Starters Similar to framed paragraphs, start the sentence and have students finish it (for
example: One thing I learned about X today is ---, or One important reason why
--- is ---)
Inference Frame Similar to a framed paragraph, this frame helps students draw inferences from
what they’ve been reading/viewing/discussing by connecting that new
information to their background knowledge to make inferences.
“The part where . . . may mean that . . . because . . . .”
Inference Venn Diagram A variation on the above, one side of the Venn has the TEXT information, the
other side BACKGROUND INFORMATION, and the “combined,” middle
section of the Venn is INFERENCES or conclusions drawn
Sequence or Timeline List in order of importance or in chronological order (or steps) the concepts
discussed in the lesson
Learning Logs If students keep learning logs for the course, let the summarizing activity be an
entry in the learning log (similar to journals)
Foldables Have each student create a foldable that captures the key concepts of the lesson.
Text Transformation Students transform a text into a different genre. Say they read a section in a
science or social studies text. Then they could transform the information in the
text to any of the following: 1) newspaper article, 2) flyer or advertisement, 3)
letter from a specific viewpoint (see RAFT), 4) diary entry, 5) comic strip, etc.

Compiled by Ann Lewis, Laurel School District; and Aleta Thompson, Cape Henlopen School District; April 2010 2
 Quick Summarizing Strategies to Use in the Classroom

Frayer Model Instead of using this “concept definer” graphic organizer at the beginning of a
lesson, use it at the end
See: http://toolsfordifferentiation.pbworks.com/Frayer-Model
What would X do? Give students a situation related to the topic of or learning from the lesson.
Then ask them to respond to the question, using a specific person (i.e.,
government official, historical figure, character, scientist, etc.). This is similar
to “changing points of view” above.
Graphic Organizers After a lesson, activity, discussion, etc., give students a graphic organizer and
ask them to fill it out.
Plus/Minus/Intriguing List things you agree with (plus), things you disagree with or question (minus),
and something you have found intriguing.
Alphabet Game Divide the alphabet among the class (or groups). Each student must think of
one descriptor about the topic, lesson, etc. that begins with the letter she/she is
assigned.
Concept of definition/word map A great way to teach and reinforce a complicated topic. Focuses on 1) what the
term is (definition), 2) what it’s like (properties, qualities), 3) examples
See: http://www.readingquest.org/strat/cdmap.html
5-3-1 (alone, pair, group) Pose a question/topic. Students brainstorm 5 answers. Then they work in a pair
to come up with the 3 best. Then the pair joins with another pair to come up
with the 1 most important.
Sticky Notes Give students sticky notes and a question or topic with which to respond. They
post their notes on the board, door, wall, a chart (that can have
divisions/pros/cons, etc.).
Give One-Get One Pose a question/topic, etc. Students number paper to 5. They write 3
ideas/answers. Then they must talk to at least 2 more students to get 2
additional answers and to give 2 of theirs “away.”
Quick Writes Pose a question or specific topic. Students are to “quick write” (write whatever
comes to mind about the topic, without regards to written conventions—a
brainstorming on paper) for a limited amount of time. Begin with short time
periods 1-2 minutes, because students must write the entire time.
Cloze Activity This can be a highly scaffolded writing, where students are given key
terms/words from the lesson and a paragraph about the topic with blanks which
they must fill in from the given list of terms.
Cause-Effect timeline or chart/ Students make (or are given) a timeline, where above the line either has listed
WHAT and WHY (or they must list) WHAT Happened. Underneath the events, they must
describe WHY it happened.
Paragraph essay outline Have student create just the outline of a essay. They must write the introduction
and the topic sentences of the supporting paragraphs only.
5 W’s Summary Students list information that answers Who, What, When, Where, Why related
to the learning from the lesson.
Analogies Take a key idea from the lesson and turn it into an analogy: something is to
something else as – is to --
Alphabet Sequential Round Table Give students a grid with each letter of the alphabet in a square. In a small
group, students are given a defined time to begin filling in the grid with a word
or phrase that starts with the letter in the grid and which relates to the key
learning of the lesson. At the signal, the student passes the grid on (and receives
another). With each successive pass, students must read the concepts/ideas on
the grid they receive, and then continue the grid, adding (not repeating) new
information to each grid.
Text Messages Similar to a sentence summary, ask students to write a summary of the key
learning in txt msg form. LOL. BTW

Compiled by Ann Lewis, Laurel School District; and Aleta Thompson, Cape Henlopen School District; April 2010 3
 Quick Summarizing Strategies to Use in the Classroom

Snowball Fights Put a problem on the board or post a question. Ask students to answer it, but not
to put their names on their papers. Then they wad up the paper and toss the
“snowball” (either in a box or a to designated center spot). Then each student in
the class gets one of the tossed snowballs. The teacher explains the
problem/answers the question, etc., and asks students to look at the snowball
they received. If their paper has a correct response, they should sit down. Then,
while the teacher doesn’t know “who” doesn’t get it, he/she does know quickly
“how many” don’t.
Error Analysis Post a problem or a process on the board—with an error in the
computation/writing/process, etc. Then with a partner or alone, students try to
find out where the error or mistake is. If done individually, then students can
pair up to compare their findings.
“How Do You . . .” With any skill that is a process, as a review ask students individually or in pairs
to write down the steps or process.

Non-written Summaries Brief Description of the Strategy

Read and Say Something Have students read a portion of text and then “say something” to their partners
in response to their reading.
Turn and Talk In response to a summary prompt or question, direct students to “turn and
talk” to a shoulder partner (very similar to Read and Say Something).
Think-Pair-Share Pose a question to the group. Allow time for students to individually process
their thinking in response to the question. Then ask them to discuss with their
collaborative partners (pairs) and then share with the group or with another
pair.
Numbered Heads Together Have Collaborative Pairs “square” to form groups of 4. In each group, tell
them to number themselves 1, 2, 3, and 4. Meanwhile, you assign the groups
letters (A, B, C, etc.). Tell them to pull their group’s chairs close so they can
“put their heads together.” Pose the 1st question out loud. Then give them 2-3
minutes to quietly discuss the answer. When you signal time is up, everyone
should be silent. Then randomly call a group letter and one number (e.g., A3
or C2 or D1, etc.) Whoever happens to be that number in the particular group
– Person 3 in Group A, for example – must answer the question. If the
question can be answered in more than one way, then you can call another
letter and number to get additional responses.
Quick Talk Establish a specified time frame (1-2 min., perhaps using a timer to signal
when time is up). Then, tell students to engage in “quick talk” to summarize
their thinking/learning at various intervals in the lesson. (Could also use the
A talk for __ time, B talks for __ time.)
Expert Groups/Jigsaw Form expert groups for each “chunk” of a segment of reading/learning.
Allow time for each expert group to discuss and summarize its “chunk.”
Then jigsaw the groups so that each new group has one member of each
expert group. Direct each expert in the newly formed groups to summarize
their “chunk” for their new group members. This is similar to Numbered
Heads Together above.
Charades/ Improvisation/Role Play Have students engage in dramatic creations that summarize the learning.
Freeze Frame Similar to an improvisation, a small group of students create a tableau related
to the reading/discussion/topic. Then the rest of the class must guess the
topic/situation of the freeze frame or tableau.

Compiled by Ann Lewis, Laurel School District; and Aleta Thompson, Cape Henlopen School District; April 2010 4
 Quick Summarizing Strategies to Use in the Classroom

Bloom’s Taxonomy Summary Provide for students “cubes” with one of Bloom’s levels of learning on each
Cubes side. Ask each Collaborative Pair to roll the cube; one student in the pair then
asks a question based on the level of learning rolled (analyze, evaluate,
synthesize, etc.) of his/her partner about the learning. The other student gives
a response.
Stand the Line (1 step in, 1 step back) Put a piece of masking tape down the center of the classroom. Have students
stand on either side of the tape, about two steps away. Pose a series of
prompts for which students must take a stand. Direct students to take one
step in/toward the line if they agree, or one step back from the line if they
disagree. Randomly ask given students to share their thinking verbally.
Red Light, Green Light In an open area of the classroom or hallway, engage students in the childhood
game of Red Light, Green Light. When you turn as they freeze, ask one of
the participants to respond to a summary question/prompt. If they are unable
to do so, they must return to the starting line. The first student to reach you
must summarize the overall specified learning or forfeit his “win” and start all
over.
25,000 Pyramid In Collaborative Pairs, have students try to get their partners to guess key
words and concepts on a pyramid projected the screen or distributed on
handouts (Rounds I and II). Members of each pair sit back-to-back or side-to-
side, with one facing the screen and the other’s back to the screen.
Meet and Greet (or “going to a As a review of important content vocabulary, each student is given a different
‘Math’—or other content-- party” or vocabulary word (if there aren’t enough to go around, there can be
“Speed Dating”) duplicates). Have students do a Frayer or Concept of Definition Map for their
words. The teacher reviews how a person would introduce him or herself to a
stranger in professional, polite conversation. The introductions in this “meet
and greet” are actually the vocabulary terms being introduced and discussed.
As in interpersonal conversation, the parties ask each other questions about
themselves, etc.
Then the students are to “go” to a Math party, or Computer party, or Econ
party (whatever the content area/course is). At the party, they must “Meet and
Greet” (which should be modeled ahead of time) others in the class,
introducing themselves as their individual concepts/terms, and talking about
themselves and asking each other questions.
Kinesthetic Tic Tac Toe Draw or outline with masking tape a large tic tac toe grid on the floor (you
will need to have each square about 3 X 3 or 4 X 4). Create a paper version
of the grid with different summary prompts for the given content in each
square. Distribute the paper Tic Tac Toe grids to students and tell them that
when you give the signal (clapping hands, flicking lights, etc.), they are to
step into a square with 1-2 other people and converse with each other in
response to the prompt in that square on their paper. Each time they hear/see
the signal, they should move to different blocks, with different people and
respond to the prompts for those blocks. Repeat the process until students
have had multiple opportunities to summarize their thinking/learning about
the different aspects of the content. (Note: Be sure to establish where the top
of the grid on the floor is in relation to the top of the paper version.)
Illustration/Drawing/Cartoon/Tattoo Have students create an illustration, drawing, or cartoon to summarize their
reading/learning.
Story Board Give students a blank “story board” and ask them to create a non-linguistic
summary of their learning, filling the blocks of the story board with stick
figures, drawings, etc. in an appropriate sequence.

Compiled by Ann Lewis, Laurel School District; and Aleta Thompson, Cape Henlopen School District; April 2010 5
 Quick Summarizing Strategies to Use in the Classroom

Graffiti Wall/Gallery Walk Divide the class into groups of 3 or 4, and give each group a sheet of poster
paper and markers. Assign each group a different chunk of the learning to
summarize in graffiti from (pictures, symbols, graphics). When groups have
finished, display all the posters side by side along a wall of the classroom.
Then have the groups do a “gallery walk” to view and discuss what they see
on the “graffiti wall.”
Smiley Faces, Sad Faces or As a really quick assessment of understanding, have the students make index
Red or Green Cards cards with smiley faces on one side and sad faces on the other, or one side red
and one side green. The teacher then can pose a question and have students
quickly indicate by holding up or flashing the appropriate side of the card
their understanding or their questions.
Thumbs Up, Thumps Down Similar to the objective of the Smiley Faces above, student just give a thumbs
up or down sign, close to their chests, to indicate understanding or questions.
Following Directions Have students guide their partners through specific steps or processes by
giving detailed directions that the partner must follow explicitly. This might
be modeled in a fun way using the old “making a peanut butter sandwich”
game, where one person gives directions for making a peanut butter sandwich
and the partner has to just the steps dictated.
Think Alouds Utilizing a well-established, research-based instructional practice, model for
students a think aloud yourself. Then, with a given problem, question, or
passage, have students do think alouds in pairs, taking turns thinking aloud
while the silent partner listens.
Key Concept Clothesline Give each student of Collaborative Pair a piece of construction paper. Ask
them to choose a key concept from their reading/learning and represent that
visually with drawings, symbols, etc. Hang all of them with clothespins on a
line in an area of the classroom. Encourage them use the “clothesline” as an
interactive concept/word wall whenever they are asked to summarize.

Sources:
Buehl, Doug. (2001). Classroom strategies for interactive learning. Newark, DE: International Reading
Association.
Beers, Kylene. (2003). When kids can’t read-what teachers can do. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann.
Kagan, Spencer. (1994). Cooperative learning. San Clemente, CA: Kagan.
Marzano. R., Pickering, D., Pollock, J. (2004). Classroom instruction that works: Research-based strategies for
increasing student achievement. ASCD.
Santa, C., et al. (2004). Creating independence through student-owned strategies. 3rd Ed. Dubuque, Iowa:
Kendall/Hunt.
Thompson, M. (2009). Learning focused solutions. Boone, NC. Learning Focused.
Zwiers, Jeff. (2004). Building reading comprehension habits in grades 6-12. Newark, DE.: IRA.
Zwiers, Jeff. (2004). Developing academic thinking skills in grades 6-12. Newark, DE.: IRA.

Compiled by Ann Lewis, Laurel School District; and Aleta Thompson, Cape Henlopen School District; April 2010 6
DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY WRITING
1)What Is Descriptive Writing? 

Descriptive writing creates a 
picture of a person, place, thing, or
event. Description tells what
something
looks, sounds, smells, tastes, or feels
like.
2) Elements of Descriptive Writing 

Good descriptive writing is comprised of five 

elements; Sensory Details, Figurative
Language, dominant impression, precise
language, and Careful Organization.
1) Sensory Details 

Good descriptive writing includes many vivid 

sensory details that paint a picture and appeals to
all of the reader's senses of
sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste when
appropriate. Descriptive writing may also paint a
pictures of the feelings the person, place or thing
invokes the writer.
2) Figurative Language 

Good descriptive writing often makes use of figurative 

language to help paint the picture in the reader's
mind. There are many ways to use figurative
language, and it is a talent that should be practiced until
perfected.
-A simile uses like or as to compare two unlike things. 
Example: Her smile was like sunshine. 
-A metaphor compares two unlike things without using 
like or as:
Example: Her smile was a light that lit up the room. 
-Personification suggests comparison between a 
nonliving thing and a person by giving the nonliving
thing human traits.
3) A DOMINANT IMPRESSION
When you plan a descriptive essay, your focus on 
selecting details that help your readers see what you
see, feel what you feel, and experience what you
experience. Your goal is to create a single dominant
impression, a central theme or idea to which all the
details relate-for example, the liveliness of a street
scene or the quiet of a summer night. This dominant
impression unifies the description and gives readers an
overall sense of what the person, place, object, or scene
looks like(and perhaps what it sounds, smells, tastes, or
feels like). Sometimes_but not always_ your details will
support a thesis making a point about the subject you
are describing.
4) PRECISE LANGUAGE

Good descriptive writing uses precise language. 

Using specific words and phrases will help the
reader “see” what you are describing. If a word or
phrase is specific, it is exact and precise. The
opposite of specific language is language that is
vague, general, or fuzzy.
5) CAREFUL ORGANIZATION
Good descriptive writing is organized. Some ways 
to organize descriptive writing include:
of chronological (time), spatial (location), and order
importance.
3)TRANSITION WORDS AND
PHRASES THAT SIGNAL.
DESCRIPTION.
Transitions used in descriptive writing 
vary depending on whether you are
describing a person, a place, or a
thing. Here are some examples of
transitions that might be used in
descriptive contexts:
TO SHOW SPATIAL ORDER OR DIRECTION
TO SHOW ORDER OF IMPORTANCE
TO SHOW TIME ORDER
4)THE STRUCTURE OF A DESCRIPTIVE
ESSAY
Narrative Writing
A Review – 10 Things to Remember
When Writing a Narrative
 Number 1 – Your Story Beginning
Your story needs a strong beginning. You can
achieve this using one of the following methods:
 Dialogue (Conversation)
 A Question
 A Vivid Description
 An Interesting Fact
 Sound Effects

http://www.learnnc.org/lp/pages/2992
 Dialogue

“ Hurry or you’ll be late!” called my mother

from the bottom of the stairs. “Today of all days
you want to be on time.” If I had only known
what that day would bring, I would have stayed
in bed.
 A Question
Have you ever had a day when you wished
you had stayed in bed? As I rushed to catch the
bus on what seemed to be a perfectly normal
day, I had no idea what was ahead of me.
 A Vivid Description
The sun was warm on my back as I raced
toward the waiting yellow school bus. As I
nestled into the worn leather seat, I was greeted
by the friendly voices of other excited children.
The look on my face was one of confidence and
contentment. With a jerk, the bus rumbled down
the road, and I was on my way into one of the
worst days of my life.
 An Interesting Fact
Shock has been known to kill ten year olds. It
can cause their brains to explode and their heart
to stop dead still. These facts raced through my
mind as I stood dumbfounded in front of my
fifth grade classmates. I wish I had stayed in bed!
 Sound Effects

“Buzzzzzz!” The sound of my alarm clock

droned in my ears as I struggled to come awake.
With a start, I sat straight up in my bed. This
was my big day, and I had to be on time.
 Number 2 - Paragraphs
Be sure your story has paragraphs. They tell when
you're switching time, place, topic or speaker,
and they help break the page up so it is not just
a solid block of writing.
 How Do I Know When To Start a
New Paragraph?
There are a few standard times to make a new
paragraph:
 When you start in on a new topic

 When you skip to a new time

 When you skip to a new place

 When a new person begins to speak

 When you want to produce a dramatic effect

http://www.saidsimple.com/content/When-to-Make-a-New-Paragraph
 Number 3 - Capitalization &
Punctuation
 Capitalize
 Beginnings of Sentences
 Proper Nouns

 Punctuate
 End Marks (question mark, period, exclamation
marks)
 Commas when joining two sentences with a
conjunction, addressing a person, with quotations,
etc.
 Number 4 – Use Rich Words
Remember words such as said, went, and put are
DEAD. Use words that describe the action.
 Went
NOT

My dad went to work.

BUT

My dad raced to work.

 Said
NOT

Jane said she had a secret.

BUT

Jane whispered to Peter a wonderful secret.

 Number 5 - Wow Words
Show your reader that you have a high-quality,
first-class, superior, excellent, exceptional,
outstanding, brilliant, extraordinary,
incomparable vocabulary by using 5th grade
vocabulary words.
Don’t Use Use These Instead:
acceptable, admirable, commendable, praiseworthy,
good virtuous, accomplished, skilled,

bad Defective, erroneous, inadequate, substandard,

corrupt, vile, distressing, severe, offensive, immoral

thing material object, article, concept, entity, apparatus, device,

detail, statement, items.
big considerable, colossal, immense, sizable, vast, eminent,
influential, paramount, prime, prominent
small diminutive, immature, minute, slight, negligible, petty, trivial,
limited.
important far-reaching, grave, momentous, significant, substantial,
prominent, notable
happy content, joyous, jubilant, thrilled, advantageous, favorable,
fortunate,
sad sorrowful, cheerless, dismal, gloomy, melancholy, mournful,
somber grievous
http://alon.hasharon.k12.il/new_ataralon/mikzoot/english/.%5Cdenise_text%5Cforcedownload.asp?fileToDownload=wowWords12class6.doc
 Wow Words

http://resources.sparklebox.me.uk/501-999/sb665.pdf
 Number 6 - Show, Don’t Tell
The Show, Don’t Tell method of writing is when
the writer is able to create a picture in the
reader's mind, to get away from the repetition of
such empty words like went, big, or said.
 NOT

Susan exercised.

BUT

Sweat poured from Susan’s forehead as she

continued to do one hundred sit-ups .
 Number 7 - Conversation
The Five Rules for Writing Direct Quotations

Rule 1 Rule 2 Rule 3 Rule 4 Rule 5

Add Separate Capitalize Add end Add needed

quotation source the first marks. capitalization
marks. phrase from word of the and
quote. direct punctuation.
quotation.
 Conversation
Remember
You must make a new paragraph every time a
different person speaks!!!!
 Number 8 - Sentences
 Vary your sentences.
 Are some of your sentences long and others short?
 Do you start the beginnings differently?

 Do some sentences start with a part of speech other

than a noun or pronoun?
 Number 9 – Figurative Language
Use a little figurative language to add interest to
your story.
 Simile

 Metaphor

 Alliteration

 Onomatopoeia
 Simile
comparison between two unlike things that have
something in common using like or as
Examples

 It's been a hard day's night and I've been working like a
dog. - The Beatles
 My heart is like an open highway. - Jon Bon Jovi
 like two peas in a pod
like Christmas in summer
 as hungry as a bear
as nutty as a fruitcake
as quick as lightning
 Metaphor
Metaphor– comparison between two unlike things
that have something in common without using
like or as
Examples
Patty was a raging tiger when she lost her lunch
money.
During the night, the forest was a dark, frightening
battlefield.
 Alliteration
repetition of usually initial consonant sounds in
two or more neighboring words or syllables
Examples
down in the dumps
do or die
right as rain
sink or swim
pay the price
back to the basics
green as grass
live the life
 Onomatopoeia
the imitation of natural sounds in word form.
These words help us form mental pictures about
the things, people, or places that are described
Examples
buzz
hiss
roar
woof
bang
pop
hiss
sizzle
 Number 10 - Plot Structure
http://www.learner.org/interactives/story/ci
nderella.html

 a plot, including setting and characters

 a climax (This is when the plot is solved.)
 an ending
 United Streaming
 Parts of a Story: Huck and Jim [05:34]
http://player.discoveryeducation.com/index.cfm?
guidAssetId=20D49155-2509-447F-8C47-
69C9B3D2128A&blnFromSearch=1&productc
ode=US
 Beginning
 In the beginning of your story, you should
introduce your characters.
 The reader should also know about the world
your characters live in (the setting) and the
something about each of the characters in your
story.
 The beginning of your story is also the place
where your plot (the problem) is first
introduced.
 Middle
Your story needs to build to something exciting,
the climax. Write about a simple conflict, a task
that must be completed, a question that must be
answered, or a barrier that must be overcome.

Climax

Rising Action
Resolution

Beginning
 Middle
 Include
 Actions
 Dialogue

 Sensory Details

 Thoughts and Feelings

 Suspense (Remember to build to a climax.)

 The End
This is the big finish. The end should reveal how
you overcame your problem. All conflicts are
resolved and everything goes back to normal.
Persuasive Writing
 Persuasive Writing
Persuasive writing is writing
that tries to convince a
reader to do something or
to believe what you believe
about a certain topic.

It takes a position for or

against something.
Persuasive Writing can be used to…

Purpose Persuasive Statement

• Support a cause • “Please support my football
team by buying discount
coupons.”
• Urge people to action • “Vote for Sarah!”

• Make a change • “The principal should let us

wear hats.”
• Prove something wrong • “Cell phones don’t cause
brain cancer.”
Persuasive Writing can be used to…

Purpose Persuasive Statement

• Stir up sympathy • “If you don’t adopt this dog, it
could have to live in a shelter.”
• Create interest • “Better grades get you a better
job and more money.”

• Get people to agree with • “I am sure you’ll agree that Milky

you Way is the best candy bar.”
Persuasive writing follows a certain format:

• INTRODUCTION with a “hook” and thesis

statement
• BODY where the argument is explained
• CONCLUSION where main points are
summarized and reviewed and the reader is
left with something to think about.
 First…Know Your Audience…
• Before you start writing, you should know your
audience:
– Who will read your writing? Who do you need to
convince?
– The audience may be your friends, your teacher, your
parents, your principal, the readers of a newspaper or the
President of the United States!
– Will you be graded? On What?
– Should you be casual or professional?
 Second… Pick a side!
• The writer must clearly state his/her position
and stay with that position. Pick a side!

• Generally, the position is stated in the opening

paragraph or introduction. (This is your
opinion sentence)
Three: Do Your Research…
In order to convince the
reader you need more
than just an opinion; you
need facts or examples
to back your opinion. So,
be sure to do the
research!

Walsh Publishing Co. 2009

 Four: MAKE A PLAN, then write!
The 6 Paragraph Essay:
1. Introduction/Hook/Thesis
2. Argument 1 with support
3. Argument 2 with support
4. Argument 3 with support
5. Show the counter-argument
and make an argument against it
6. Conclusion
DOS and DON’Ts of Persuasive Writing:
• Do: • Don’t :
• Divide into 5 paragraphs (6 if • Don’t begin with “Hello my
you plan on adding a name is___ and I’m going to
paragraph with a counter write about____”
argument) • Don’t use the word “I “ (Instead
• Have a thesis statement in of “I think we shouldn’t wear
your introduction uniforms” say “Uniforms
• Come up with 3 main points to shouldn’t be required.”
support your argument— • Don’t be wishy-washy. Pick a
these will be your 3 body side!
paragraphs • Don’t forget to support your
• Show the “counter -argument” opinions with facts and example
• Have a conclusion that has a s
“clincher statement”
• Come up with a catchy title
 The Great Introduction…
What makes an good introduction?
• It grabs or “hooks” the reader’s attention by using one or more of
the following strategies:
– An anecdote or scenario
– A quotation
– An interesting fact or statistic
– A question
• It tells how the writing will be organized.
• The author’s position is clearly stated in a thesis statement.
Grabbing Your Audience…
Good strategies used in introductions:
• Use an Anecdote/ Scenario
– The writer provides a personal experience or made-up
situation to introduce the position.
• Questioning
– The writer asks thought-provoking questions to capture
the reader’s interest.
• Interesting fact or statistic
– The writer gives an interesting piece of information to grab
the reader’s attention.
Lets Take A Look….
 You Could Start with a Riddle:
• Get your reader’s attention with a challenging
thought.
• “What’s plain, and boring? What makes all students
in a school building look the same and lose their
individuality? If you guessed UNIFORMS, you’re
correct!”
You Could Begin with a Strong Statement:
• Example:
• Fast food consumption has risen 500 percent
since 1970 and today reaches nearly every
part of society, including some public school
cafeterias.
 You Could Open with a Quotation:
• Example:
University of Delaware professor states:

“Advertising, including television ads, billboards, and other advertising,

including toys in boxed meals, has had an effect upon children as never before.
Children these days are growing up with low concern for their health and
more concern for what tastes good.”
You Could Open with a interesting fact:
• Example:
• “Did you know that a typical child needs 2,000 calories for an
entire day and Burger King’s Whopper with triple cheese has
1,230 calories?”
You Could Open with an Anecdote:
• An anecdote can provide an amusing and attention-getting
opening if it is short and to the point.

• “My hands felt sticky after pulling open the doors to “Big Bobby’s
Boisterous Burger Hut”. The odor smelled of fried everything. I ordered
a Big Bobby Combo #2. There was enough food to serve a small third
world country on my tray. I nibbled at the ¾ pound burger and my chin
was covered in a mayonnaise and ketchup concoction. I asked the server
if I could have a few fries with my salt. I left the place feeling like my
stomach was mad at me.”
You Could Open with a Fact or Statistic:
• Example:

• Thirty percent of the children in the survey ate fast food on

any given day during the survey, and they ate an average of
187 calories a day more than those who did not eat fast food.
These additional calories could account for an extra six
pounds of weight gain per year, according to Ludwig.
 You Could Open with a Question:
• How many times have you eaten fast food this
month?
Open with an Outrageous Statement:
• Example:
• “Fast food is killing America!”
 Next: Creating a Thesis Statement
• A thesis statement is one sentence at the end of your
introduction that states your opinion. It needs to be
strong.
• First, choose 3 main focus points to discuss in your
essay. These points will become the focus of three
paragraphs in the body of your paper.
Let’s use fast food as an example again.
Fast food…(3 Discussion Points)
• rapidly increases weight
• causes high blood pressure
• leads to sluggishness
 Writing the Thesis Statement
• Now take your three main focus points and
summarize them. Put your completed thesis
statement at the end of your first paragraph.

THREE MAIN FOCUS POINTS

• I believe fast food is harmful because it rapidly increases
weight, causes high blood pressure, and leads to lethargy.

COMPLETED THESIS STATEMENT

• I believe fast food has negative health effects.
 Our Introductory Paragraph:
CATCHY TITLE
Fast Food Is Killing America!
HOOK THE READER

Did you know that a typical child needs 2,000 calories

for an entire day and Burger King’s Whopper with triple
cheese has 1,230 calories? That is far more calories than
anyone needs in one day! Fast food consumption has risen
500 percent since 1970 and today reaches nearly every part
of society, including some public school cafeterias. Fast
food is harmful because it rapidly increases weight, causes
high blood pressure, and leads to sluggishness. Fast food is
bad for your health!
YOUR THREE ARGUMENTS
THESIS STATEMENT Walsh Publishing Co. 2009
 Three Supporting Paragraphs:
• Use each of the main arguments you used in
your introductory paragraph and expand on
each giving facts and reasons.
• In our example, you would write one
paragraph on how fast food increases weight,
one paragraph on how it causes high blood
pressure and one on how it leads to
sluggishness.

Walsh Publishing Co. 2009

You’ll Need to Show “The Other Side…”
• How many of you have been in a discussion
with someone and you remember saying,
“Yeah, that’s true, but…” This is called a
counter-argument. It’s the “other side” of the
argument.
• You’ll need to tell your reader what the
counter-argument is and prove why it
shouldn’t matter.
• Let’s take a look using our example of fast
food…
 The Other Side of the Story
• This is where you should explain why your opposition
believes what they believe.
• For example:
• “A fast food company wouldn’t agree with the points
in this essay. They would have lots of reasons why fast
food is good. They may say…”it’s convenient” or “It’s
fine if eaten in moderation.” These arguments just
don’t hold up when you take all the facts into
consideration!

Walsh Publishing Co. 2009

 Conclude or End Your Essay…
What makes an good conclusion?
 Last paragraph summarizes your main point.
 End using one or more of the following strategies:
–Call the reader to action
–Anecdote or scenario
–Make a Prediction
 The last paragraph wraps up the writing and gives the
reader something to think about.

Walsh Publishing Co. 2009

 Strategies for Conclusions
• Call to Action
– Ask the reader to do something or to make something
happen “I challenge you to watch what you eat and to
avoid fast food.”
• Provide a solution
– Provide an answer to the problem “Fast food doesn’t have
to be “bad food.” Make better choices like salads, fruit and
low fat treats.”
• Make a Prediction
– Explain what might be the consequences of action or
inaction “If people continue to eat lots of fast food, they
put their health at risk. If kids don’t make better choices
today, they won’t grow into healthy adults.”
Walsh Publishing Co. 2009
 Concluding Paragraph:
Restate your thesis.

In closing, it’s important to remember that too much

fast food can have negative effects on your health. If not
eaten in moderation, you can gain weight, suffer from high
blood pressure and become slow and sluggish. Is it worth
the risk to your body? Eat Healthy and Make good
choices!
End with…
– A comment (Don’t make your body suffer!)
– A question (Are you willing to risk your health?)
– A call to action (I highly recommend you consider your
options the next time your faced with a decision about
what to eat.) Walsh Publishing Co. 2009
 Review: The Persuasive Essay:
• A Catchy Title
• Introductory paragraph with a “hook”, three
main arguments and a thesis statement.
• One paragraph for each of your three
arguments.
• Address the “counter-argument”
• Closing paragraph that re-states your thesis and
challenges the reader to think about it.

Walsh Publishing Co. 2009

 Don’t Forget…
• Make sure to read over
your work and edit for
mechanics and spelling.
• Write neatly!
• Include detail and great
vocabulary.
• Follow proper format:
Proper heading and skip
lines!
Walsh Publishing Co. 2009
Using Active and
Passive Voice
 Would you rather?

Watch Lebron play basketball or

some random person sitting in the
stands?
 Verbs and Voice
Voice is the form a verb
takes to indicate
whether the subject of
the verb performs or
receives the action.
There are two types of
voice: active voice and
passive voice.
Active Voice
Active voice is used to show that the
subject of the sentence is performing
or causing the action.

Example:
Lebron threw the basketball before
the buzzer.
Lebron shot the basketball from the
free throw line.
Lebron scored three points.
Passive Voice

Passive voice is used when the subject

is the recipient of the action.

Example:
The ball was thrown by Lebron.
The basket was shot by Lebron.
The score was made by Lebron.
 Why does it matter?

STRONG
WRITING USES
ACTIVE VOICE!!!!
 Why does it matter?
Active voice is more direct and concise.
Passive voice is usually wordier.

Active voice is like watching Lebron

play.
Passive voice is like watching gum
stuck on the bleachers in the stands.

MOST OF THE TIME, YOU WANT TO USE

ACTIVE VOICE!!!!
 When would you WANT to use
passive voice?
 When intentionally trying to hide the subject of the
sentence.
For example, a politician might say, “The mistake was
made by someone.” Hiding the subject helps him/her hide
the blame.

 When intentionally trying to minimize the guilt of the

subject.
For example, a cheating boyfriend might say, “Cheating
was committed by me.”

 When passive voice better emphasizes the main point of

the message, such as “Children were harmed by the
drunk driver.”
 Form of Passive Voice Verbs
 The passive voice requires a "double verb"
and will always consist of a form of the
verb "to be" and the past participle
(usually the "en/ed/t" form) of another
verb.
 Example:
Active: John baked the bread.
Passive: The bread was baked by
John. (Was is a form of the verb
“be”.)
 Form of Passive Voice Verbs

 Writers should be familiar with the

forms of "to be" , often called linking
verbs, so that they can easily identify
the passive voice in their work.

 Review the forms of "to be":

 am, is, are, was, were, be,

being, been
 Form of Passive Voice Verbs

Note the forms of "to be" in the examples

of the verb "to kick" in various forms of
the passive voice:

is kicked----------------had been kicked

was kicked-------------is going to be kicked
is being kicked---------will be kicked
has been kicked-------can be kicked
was being kicked------should be kicked
 Form of Passive Voice Verbs

 Examples:
 Passive: The cookies were eaten by
the children.
 Active: The children ate the cookies.

 Passive: The tunnels are dug by the

gophers.
 Active: The gophers dug the
tunnels.
Weird Version of this lesson…

 http://www.watchknowlearn.org/Video.aspx?VideoID=2
5187&CategoryID=3564
Let’s Practice
 Let’s Practice

 Directions: Change the sentences below to

the active voice.
1. The statue is being visited by hundreds of
tourists every year.
2. My books were stolen by someone yesterday.
3. These books had been left in the classroom by
a careless student.
4. Coffee is raised in many parts of Hawaii by
plantation workers.
5. The house had been broken into by someone
while the owners were on vacation.
 Rewrite the following paragraph
in the active voice.
Last summer our house was painted by me.
First, the exterior was washed using warm water
and a mild detergent. Then all of the chinks in
the walls were sealed with putty. After the
putty had had a chance to dry, the exterior
could be painted. A latex paint was used
because it is easy to apply and cleans up with
water. A whole week was needed to finish this
part of the job. A color was used that was very
close to the original color. When the job was
finished, a great deal of satisfaction was felt by
me. Even my dad said that a good job was
done.
COMMON ERRORS IN
WRITING
 REDUNDANCY
• the state of being not or no longer needed or
useful
• the use of words or data that could be
omitted without loss of meaning or function;
repetition or superfluity of information
 Keep in mind:
• Avoid saying the same thing twice.
• Redundant phrases are bad habits just waiting
to take control of your writing.
 RUN-ONS, COMMA
SPLICES, & FRAGMENTS
 Meet the FANBOYS
• Did you know that you can separate two
complete sentences with a comma only if you
use one of the FANBOYS?
 Here’s how they work . . .
• This is a great class the teacher never
finishes on time.
– This is a great class, but the teacher never
finishes on time.
• It is now one o’clock let’s start the workshop.
– It is now one o’clock, so let’s start the
workshop.
 RUN-ONS
• Run-ons are sentences that should be
separated, but they are joined anyway
without proper punctuation.
– The global food crisis is a threat to Africa
many children are dying of hunger.
• But what do you do if you want to join
them as one complete sentence?
 Fixing run-ons: there are
options.
• Option one: separate the two complete
sentences using a period.
– The global food crisis is a threat to Africa. Many
children are dying of hunger.
• Option two: join them by using a semi-colon.
– The global food crisis is a threat to Africa; many
children are dying of hunger.
 More options for run-ons
• Option three: Separate them by a comma and
a FANBOYS:
– The global food crisis is a threat to Africa, and
many children are dying of hunger.
• Option four: Find ways to join them by
subordination.
– As a result of the global food crisis in Africa,
many children are dying of hunger.
 COMMA SPLICES
• Comma splices are sentences that
should be separated, but they are
joined with a comma.
• College is hard, the expectations are higher
than high school. (Comma splice)
• The professor assigns too much homework, I
don’t have much free time.
 Fixing comma splices
• If you are guilty of comma splices, relax. They are
easy to fix.
• Option one: separate the sentences into two.
– College is hard. The expectations are higher than
high school.
• Option two: change the wording so that they can
become one complete sentence.
– College is hard because the expectations are higher
than high school.
 More options for comma
splices
• Option three: join the two sentences
by a comma and a FANBOYS.
–College is hard, for the expectations
are higher than high school.
 FRAGMENTS
• Fragments are incomplete sentences.
• They are partial ideas, leaving the reader to think,
“What does this mean?”
• They may lack a verb, a subject, or both.
• Examples:
– Whenever she asks.
– As this was a great opportunity.
– Finding nowhere to turn
 Fixing fragments
• Option one: Add a subject or a verb until the
sentence makes complete sense as a stand-
alone thought.
• Finding nowhere to turn.
• Ask yourself “Who am I talking about?”
– Finding nowhere to turn, the young man
eventually turned to alcohol and drugs.
 Fixing fragments: Another
option
• Option two: join them to the previous or
next sentence.
– My uncle always gives Jane the car.
Whenever she asks.
– My uncle always gives Jane the car
whenever she asks.
 Which sentence is a run-on?
a) My favorite food is spaghetti.
b) I'm in the mood for a burger Jason prefers
some pizza.
c) The flowers swayed in the wind.
 Check if there is any error within the
statement below: if there is, identify
the type of error.
1) I have read that book six times now, it just
keeps getting better every time.
2) "Angry Birds" is the stupidest game ever
invented I spend a ton of time playing it.
• Two independent clauses joined only by a
comma is a ____
• An incomplete sentence that is missing either
a subject or a predicate (or both) is a _____.
• Two or more independent clauses without any
punctuation between them is a _____.
 Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no
unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary
sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have
no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.
This requires not that the writer make all his sentences
short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only
in outline, but that every word tell.
— William Strunk Jr.
in Elements of Style
Redundancy and Wordiness

Writing Concise Sentences

 Defined Definition

 re·dun·dan·cy /rəˈdəndənsē/

 the state of being not or no longer needed or useful.

 the use of words or data that could be omitted without loss
of meaning or function; repetition or superfluity of
information.
 synonyms: superfluity, unnecessariness, excess
 the inclusion of extra components that are not strictly
necessary to functioning, in case of failure in other
components.
Unlocking Vocabulary
 Pleonasm
a phrase that repeats itself
 Expletive
jhgjgjkghkjhk
 Euphemism
is a word or phrase that substitutes for
language the speaker or writer feels is too
blunt or somehow offensive.
 Cliché
is an expression that was probably, once
upon a time, an original and brilliant way of
saying something.
PRUNING THE
REDUNDANT

 Avoid saying the same thing twice.

 Many uneducated citizens who have never
attended school continue to vote for better
schools.
 A phrase that repeats itself—like "true fact,"
"twelve noon," "I saw it with my own eyes"—
is sometimes called a pleonasm.
 Redundant phrases are bad habits just
waiting to take control of your writing.
Beware of these following
redundancy expressions:
 12 midnight  12 noon
 3 am in the morning  3 am
 absolutely  spectacular/
spectacular/phenomenal phenomenal
 a person who is honest  an honest person
 a total of 14 birds  14 birds
 biography of her life  biography
 circle around  circle
Beware of these following
redundancy expressions:
 personally, I  I feel/I think
think/feel
 in my personal  opinion
opinion
 puzzling in nature  puzzling
 refer back  refer
 repeat again  repeat
 return again  return
Avoiding Wordy Sentences
1. Reducing Clauses to Phrases, Phrases
to Single Words
Be alert for clauses or phrases that can be
pared to simpler, shorter constructions.
Example:
 Citizens who knew what was going on voted
him out of office.
 Knowledgeable citizens voted him out of
office.
Avoiding Wordy Sentences
2. Beware of intensifiers that do not
really intensify
Avoid using words such as really,
very, quite, extremely, severely
when they are not necessary.
Examples:
Avoiding Wordy Sentences
3. Avoiding Expletive Constructions
Expletive constructions begin with there is/are or it is.
Example:
 There are twenty-five students who have already
expressed a desire to attend the program next
summer. It is they and their parents who stand to
gain the most by the government grant.
 Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire
to attend the program next summer. They and their
parents stand to gain the most by the government
grant.
Avoiding Wordy Sentences
4. Phrases You Can Omit
for important sounding phrases
that add nothing to the meaning of
a sentence
 Links for Additional Practice

1. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm
2. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/quizzes/wordy_quiz.htm
3. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/quizzes/nova/nova8.htm
4. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/quizzes/nova/nova11.htm
5. http://www.cliffsnotes.com/writing/grammar/idioms-cliches-jargon-slang-
euphemisms-and-wordiness/quiz-wordiness
6. http://kwiznet.com/p/takeQuiz.php?ChapterID=12297&CurriculumID=58&Num=
4.14
7. https://www.prismnet.com/~hcexres/style/wordiness_redundancy.html
8. https://owl.english.purdue.edu/exercises/6/9/57
Thank you…..
That’s all folks……
Run-Ons, Comma Splices, &
Fragments
 Sentence Errors

The majority of errors in sentence writing

are in three specific areas:
 Run-ons

 Fragments

 Comma splices

Each of these errors is easy to correct.

 Meet the FANBOYS
 Did you know that F A N B O Y S
you can separate two
complete sentences

For
And
Nor
But
Or
Yet
So
with a comma only if
you use one of the
FANBOYS?
 Here’s how they work . . .
 This is a great class the teacher never finishes
on time.
 This is a great class, but the teacher never finishes
on time.
 It is now one o’clock let’s start the workshop.
 It is now one o’clock, so let’s start the workshop.
 Prof. Velasquez talked about the history of the
Mayans she discussed their art and music.
 Prof. Velasquez talked about the history of the
Mayans, and she discussed their art and music.
 Run-ons run on and on and on
and...
 Run-ons are sentences that should be
separated, but they are joined anyway
without proper punctuation.
 The global food crisis is a threat to Africa
many children are dying of hunger.
 But what do you do if you want to join
them as one complete sentence?
 Fixing run-ons: there are
options.
 Option one: separate the two complete
sentences using a period.
 The global food crisis is a threat to Africa.
Many children are dying of hunger.
 Option two: join them by using a semi-
colon.
 The global food crisis is a threat to Africa;
many children are dying of hunger.
 More options for run-ons

 Option three: Separate them by a comma

and a FANBOYS:
 The global food crisis is a threat to Africa, and
many children are dying of hunger.
 Option four: Find ways to join them by
subordination.
 As a result of the global food crisis in Africa,
many children are dying of hunger.
 Comma Splices
 Comma splices are sentences that
should be separated, but they are
joined with a comma.
 College is hard, the expectations are
higher than high school. (Comma splice)
 The professor assigns too much
homework, I don’t have much free time.
 Fixing comma splices
 If you are guilty of comma splices, relax. They are easy
to fix.
 Option one: separate the sentences into two
 College is hard, the expectations are higher than high school.
 College is hard. The expectations are higher than high school.
 Option two: change the wording so that they can
become one complete sentence.
 College is hard, the expectations are higher than high school.
 College is hard because the expectations are higher than high
school.
More options for comma splices

 Option three: join the two sentences by a

comma and a FANBOYS.
 College is hard, the expectations are higher
than high school.
 College is hard, for the expectations are
higher than high school.
 Fragments
 Fragments are incomplete sentences.
 They are partial ideas, leaving the reader
to think, “What does this mean?”
 They may lack a verb, a subject, or both.
 Examples:
 Whenever she asks.
 As this was a great opportunity.
 Finding nowhere to turn
 Fixing Fragments

 Option one: Add a subject or a verb until

the sentence makes complete sense as a
stand-alone thought.
 Finding nowhere to turn.
 Ask yourself “Who am I talking about?”
 Finding nowhere to turn, the young man
eventually turned to alcohol and drugs.
 Fixing fragments: Another
option
 Option two: join them to the previous or
next sentence.
 My uncle always gives Janet the car.
Whenever she asks.
 My uncle always gives Janet the car whenever
she asks.
 Remember, you are in charge!
 How you want to edit your paper is your
decision.
 Over time, you will develop a writing style.
 Determine which way best suits the tone
and purpose of the writing.
 In some cases, short sentences are more
powerful and effective. In others, longer
sentences enhance understanding of a
point.
EFFECTIVE SENTENCES
PARALLELISM
PARALLELISM
 “A
kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an
exclamation point.”
 -Mistinguet
 “This
novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be
hurdled with great force.”
 -Dorothy Parker
 “Inmatters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters
of taste, swim with the current.”
 -Thomas Jefferson
E1- a balance parallel ideas linked with coordinating conjunctions
(FANBOYS)

 Wrong

Theft, vandalism and

cheating can result in
suspension, or even being
expelled from school.
E1-A balance parallel ideas linked with coordinating conjunctions
(FANBOYS)

 Correct

Theft, vandalism and

cheating can result in
suspension, or even
expulsion from school.
E1-A balance parallel ideas linked with coordinating conjunctions
(FANBOYS)

 Wrong

David is responsible for

stocking merchandise, all in
store repairs, writing
orders for delivery, and
sales of computers.
E1-A balance parallel ideas linked with coordinating conjunctions
(FANBOYS)

 Correct

David is responsible for

stocking merchandise,
repairing items in the store,
writing orders for delivery,
and selling of computers.
E1-A balance parallel ideas linked with coordinating conjunctions
(FANBOYS)

 Wrong

After assuring us that he

was sober, Sam drove down
the middle of the road, ran
one red light, and two stop
signs.
E1-A balance parallel ideas linked with coordinating conjunctions
(FANBOYS)

 Correct
After assuring us that he was
sober, Sam drove down the
middle of the road, ran one
red light, and went through
two stop signs.
each item needs a verb: drove,
ran, went through
E1-B balance parallel ideas linked with correlative conjunctions
(either…or, neither…nor, not only…but also, both…and, whether…or)

 The shutters were not only too

long but also were too wide.
 I was advised either to change
my flight or to take the train.
E1-C balance comparisons linked with than or as

 Wrong
Itis easier to speak with
abstractions than grounding
one’s thoughts in reality.
E1-C balance comparisons linked with than or as

 Correct
Itis easier to speak with
abstractions than to ground
one’s thoughts in reality.
E1-C balance comparisons linked with than or as

 Wrong
Mother could not persuade me
that giving is as much as a joy as
to receive.
E1-C balance comparisons linked with than or as

 Correct
Mother could not persuade me
that giving is as much as a joy as
receiving.
NEEDED WORDS
Do not omit words necessary for grammatical or
logical completeness.
E2-A Add needed words to complete
compound structure

Wrong Correct

 I never have  I never have

and never will accepted and
accept a bribe. never will
accept a bribe.
E2-A Add needed words to complete
compound structure

Wrong Correct

 Many of these  Many of these

tribes in the tribes in the
South Pacific still South Pacific still
believe and live believe in and
live by ancient
by ancient laws. laws.
E2-C Add words needed to make comparisons logical
and complete.
(Comparison between like items)

Wrong Correct

 Agnes had an  Agnes had an

attention span attention span
longer than her longer than that
of her sisters.
sisters.  it is illogical to
compare attention
span and sisters
E2-B Add the word if there is any danger in
reading it.

 If there is no danger of misreading,

the word “that” may sometimes be
omitted when it is introduce by
subordinate clause.
As Joe began to prepare dinner, he
discovered the oven wasn’t working
properly.
Joe didn’t discover the oven; he
discovered that the oven wasn’t working
properly.
E2-C Add words needed to make comparisons logical
and complete.
(Comparison between like items)

Wrong Correct

 Henry  Henry preferred

preferred the the restaurants
restaurants in in Makati than to
Makati than to those in Libis.
 Restaurants must be
Libis. compared with
restaurants.
E2-C Sometimes the word other must be
inserted to make a comparison logical

Wrong Correct

 Manila is larger  Manila is larger

than any city in than any other
the Philippines. city in the
Philippines.
E2-C Sometimes the word as must be inserted to
make a comparison grammatically complete.

Wrong Correct

 Geoffrey is as  Geoffrey is as
talented, if not talented as, if
more talented not more
than, the other talented than,
the other
actors. actors.
E2-C Comparison should be complete enough to ensure
clarity. Readers should understand what is being
compared.

Wrong Correct

 Brand X is a  Brand X is a
lighter beer. lighter beer
than Brand Y.
E2-C Do not leave ambiguity on meaning.

Ambiguous Clear

 Mr. Terso  Mr. Terso helped

helped me me more than he
helped Rick.
more than  Mr. Terso helped
Rick. me more than
Rick did.
E3 PROBLEMS WITH
MODIFIERS
Modifiers should point clearly to the words they
modify
E3-A Put limiting modifiers in front of the words they
modify (only, even, almost, nearly, just)

Wrong Correct

 You will only  You will need

need to plant to plant only
one package of one package of
seeds. seeds.
E3-A Put limiting modifiers in front of the words they
modify (only, even, almost, nearly, just)

Wrong Correct

 Our team didn’t  Our team didn’t

even score once. score even once.
E3-B Place phrases and clauses so that readers can see
at a glance what they modify.

Misplaced Correct

 The king returned to  Traveling in a

the clinic where he limousine sent by
underwent heart the white house, the
surgery in 2000 in a king returned to the
limousine sent by the clinic where he
white house
underwent heart
surgery in 2000
E3-B Place phrases and clauses so that readers can see
at a glance what they modify.

Misplaced Correct

 There are  On the walls,

many pictures there are many
of comedians pictures of
who have comedians
performed at who have
Punchline on performed at
the walls. Punchline.
E3-B Place phrases and clauses so that readers can see
at a glance what they modify.

Misplaced Correct

 The robber  The robber

was described was described
as a six-foot- as a fifty pound
tall and with a six-foot-tall
mustache
weighing 150 man with a
pounds. mustache.
E3-B Occasionally, the placement of a modifier leads
to an ambiguity.

Ambiguous Correct

 We promised  When the play was

over, we promised
when the play that we would take
was over that Charles to ice cream
parlor.
we would take  We promised that
Charles to ice we would take
cream parlor. Charles to ice cream
parlor, when the
play was over.
E3-C Repair dangling modifiers

 DANGLING
Deciding to join the navy, the recruiter
enthusiastically pumped Joe’s hand.
Upon seeing the barricade, our car
screeched to a halt.
To please the children, some fireworks
were set off a day early.
Though only sixteen, OLFU accepted
Martha’s application.
E3-C Repair dangling modifiers

 To repair a dangling modifier, you

can revise in one of two ways
1. Name the actor immediately following
the introductory modifier; or
2. Turn the modifier into a word group
that includes the actor.
E3-C Repair dangling modifiers

Wrong Correct

 When watching a  When watching a

classic film such as
classic film such as Gone with the Wind, I
Gone with the Wind, find commercials
commercials are especially irritating.
especially irritating.  When I was watching a
classic film such as
Gone with the Wind,
commercials are
especially irritating.
E3-C Repair dangling modifiers

Wrong Correct

 Opening the window  When the driver

to let a huge opened the window
bumblebee, the car to let a huge
accidentally swerved bumblebee, the car
into an oncoming car. accidentally swerved
into an oncoming car.
E3-C Repair dangling modifiers

Wrong Correct

 After completing  After completing

seminary training, seminary training,
women’s access to women have often
the pulpit has often been denied access
been denied. to the pulpit.
E3-D Do not split infinitives needlessly

Wrong Correct

 Patients should try to  If possible, patients

if possible avoid should try to avoid
going up and down going up and down
stairs. stairs.
SHIFTS
E4-A Make the point of view consistent in number and
person

Wrong Correct

 One week our class met in  One week our class met in
a junkyard to practice a junkyard to practice
rescuing a victim trapped rescuing a victim trapped
in a wrecked car. We in a wrecked car. We
learned to dismantle the learned to dismantle the
car with the essential car with the essential
tools. You were grade on tools. We were grade on
you speed and your skill our speed and our skill is
is extricating the victim. extricating the victim.
E4-A Make the point of view consistent in number and
person

Wrong Correct

 Everyone should  You should purchase

purchase a lift ticket a lift ticket unless
unless you plan to you plan to spend
spend most of your most of your time
time walking or walking or crawling
crawling up a steep up a steep hill.
hill.
E4-A Make the point of view consistent in number and
person

Wrong Correct

 A police officer is  Police officers are

often criticized for often criticized for
always being there always being there
when they aren’t when they aren’t
needed and never needed and never
being there when being there when
they are. they are.
E4-B Maintain consistent verb tenses

Wrong Correct

 My hopes rise and fall as  My hopes rose and fell as

Joseph’s heart started and Joseph’s heart started and
stopped. The doctors insert stopped. The doctors
a large tube into his chest, inserted a large tube into his
and blood flows from the chest, and blood flowed
incision onto the floor. The from the incision onto the
tube drained some blood floor. The tube drained
from his lungs, but it was all some blood from his lungs,
in vain. At 8:35 pm, Joseph but it was all in vain. At 8:35
was declared dead. pm, Joseph was declared
dead.
E4-B Maintain consistent verb tenses
(fictional events consistently in the present tense)

Wrong Correct

 The scarlet letter is a  The scarlet letter is a

punishment sternly punishment sternly
placed on Hester’s placed on Hester’s
breast by the breast by the
community, and yet it
was an extremely community, and yet it
fanciful and is an extremely fanciful
imaginative product of and imaginative
Hester’s own product of Hester’s
needlework. own needlework.
E4-C Make verbs consistent in mood and voice

Wrong Correct

 The officers advised  The officers advised

against allowing against allowing
access to our homes access to our homes
without proper without proper
identification. They
identification. Also, also suggested that
alert neighbors to we alert neighbors to
vacation schedules. vacation schedules.
E4-C Make verbs consistent in mood and voice

 To use the subjunctive mood correctly, you must

remember to check the if and that clauses in
your sentences.
 He talks about art as if he were an expert.
 He proposed that a motion be made to adjourn.

 It is required that each student wear a uniform.

E4-C Make verbs consistent in mood and voice

Wrong Correct

 When the tickets are  When the tickets are

ready, the travel ready, the travel
agent notifies the agent notifies the
client. Each ticket is client, lists each
then listed on a daily ticket on a daily
register form, and a register form, and
copy of itinerary is files a copy of the
filed. itinerary.
E4-D Avoid sudden shifts from indirect to direct questions or
quotations

Wrong Correct

 I wonder whether  I wonder whether

the sister knew of the sister knew of
the murder, and if so, the murder, and if so,
did she report it to whether she
the police? reported it to the
police?
E4-D Avoid sudden shifts from indirect to direct questions or
quotations

Wrong Correct

 Mother said that she  Mother said that she

would be late for would be late for
dinner and please do dinner and asked me
not leave for choir not to leave for choir
practice until Dad practice until Dad
comes home. comes home.
E5 MIXED
CONSTRUCTIONS
E5-A Untangle the grammatical structure

Wrong Correct

 For most drivers who  Most drivers who

have a blood alcohol have a blood alcohol
content of .05 content of .05
percent double their percent double their
risk of causing an risk of causing an
accident. accident.
E5-A Untangle the grammatical structure

Wrong Correct

 Although I feel that  Although I feel that

Mr. Moreno is an Mr. Moreno is an
excellent counselor, excellent counselor, a
but a few changes in few changes in his
his approach would approach would
benefit both him and benefit both him and
his clients. his clients.
E5-A Untangle the grammatical structure

Wrong Correct

 In the whole-world  The whole-world

method children method children
learn to recognize learn to recognize
entire words rather entire words; the
than by the phonics
method in which phonics method
they learn to sound teaches them to
out letter or groups sound out letters and
of letters. groups of letters.
E5-B Straighten out the logical connections

Wrong Correct

 The growth in the  The number of

number of application is
application is increasing rapidly.
increasing rapidly.
E5-B Straighten out the logical connections

Wrong Correct

 Under the revised  Under the revised

plan, the elderly, who plan, the elderly,
now receive a double double personal
personal exemption, exemption will be
will be abolished. abolished.
E5-B Straighten out the logical connections

Wrong Correct

 The tax accountant, a  Tax accounting, a

very lucrative field, very lucrative field,
requires intelligence, requires intelligence,
patience and patience and
attention to detail. attention to detail.
E5-C Avoid… is when…is where and reason… is
because constructions.

Wrong Correct

 Anorexia nervosa is  Anorexia nervosa is a

where people, disorder suffered by
believing they are people, who
too fat, diet to the believing they are
point of starvation. too fat, diet to the
point of starvation.
E5-C Avoid… is when…is where and reason… is
because constructions.

Wrong Correct

 The reason I missed  I missed the wedding

the wedding is because my
because my motorcycle broke
motorcycle broke down.
down.
E6 COORDINATION AND
SUBORDINATION
Coordination
 Coordination draws attention to two or more
ideas
 Coordination conjunctions: FANBOYS
 Coordinate two independent clauses
 Grandmother lost her sight, but her hearing
sharpened.
 Grandmother lost her sight; however, her hearing
sharpened.
Subordination
 To give unequal emphasis to two or more ideas,
express the major idea in an independent clauses,
and place any minor ideas in phrases or
subordinate clauses.
 Subordinate clauses – cannot stand alone, begin
with:
 after before unless whether whom
 although if until which whose
 as since when while
 because that where who
Deciding which idea to emphasize is not simply a
matter of right or wrong.

 Grandmother lost her sight. Her hearing

sharpened.
 As grandmother lost her sight, her hearing
sharpened.
 Though her hearing sharpened, grandmother
gradually lost her sight.
E6-A Combine choppy sentences

Choppy Improved

 The huts vary in  The huts, which vary

height. They measure in height and
from ten to fifteen measure from ten to
feet in diameter. fifteen feet in
They contain no diameter, contain no
modern modern
conveniences. conveniences.
E6-A Combine choppy sentences

Choppy Improved

 Agnes was another  Agnes, another

student I worked student I worked
with. She was with, was
hyperactive child. hyperactive child.
E6-A Combine choppy sentences

Choppy Improved

 The hospital decides  The hospital decides

when patients will when patients will
sleep and wake. It sleep and wake,
dictates what and dictates what and
when they will eat. It when they will eat,
tells them when they and tells them when
may be with family they may be with
and friends. family and friends.
E6-B Avoid ineffective coordination

Ineffective Improved

 Closets were taxed as  Because closets were

rooms, and most taxed as rooms, most
colonists stored their colonists stored their
clothes in chests or clothes in chests or
clothes presses. clothes presses.
E6-B Avoid ineffective coordination

Ineffective Improved

 My uncle noticed  My uncle, noticing

that frightened look the frightened look
on my face and told on my face, told me
me that the dentures that the dentures in
in the glass were not the glass were not
real teeth. real teeth.
E6-B Avoid ineffective coordination

Ineffective Improved

 Four hours went by,  After four hours, a

and a rescue truck rescue truck finally
finally arrived, but by arrived, but by that
that time we had time we had been
been evacuated in a evacuated in a
helicopter. helicopter.
E6-C Do not subordinate major ideas

Ineffective Improved

 I was driving home  As I was driving

from my new job, home from my new
heading down job, heading down
Quezon Avenue, Quezon Avenue, my
when my car car suddenly
suddenly overheated. overheated.
E6-D Do not subordinate excessively

Ineffective Improved

 Our job is to stay between  Our job is to stay between

the stacker and the tie the stacker and the tie
machine watching to see machine watching to see
if the newspapers jam, in if the newspapers jam. If
which ease we pull the they do, we pull the
bundles off and stack bundles off and stack
them on a skid, because them on a skid, because
otherwise they would otherwise they would
back up in the stacker. back up in the stacker.
 Created by the Evergreen Writing Center
Library 3407 Š 867-6420

Parallel Structure
Parallel structure adds both clout and clarity to your writing. When you use parallel structure, you increase the
readability of your writing by creating word patterns readers can follow easily.
Understanding Parallel Structure
Parallel structure (also called parallelism) is the repetition of a chosen grammatical form within a sentence. By
making each compared item or idea in your sentence follow the same grammatical pattern, you create a parallel
construction.
Example
Not Parallel:
Ellen likes hiking, the rodeo, and to take afternoon naps.
Parallel:
Ellen likes hiking, attending the rodeo, and taking afternoon naps.
OR
Ellen likes to hike, attend the rodeo, and take afternoon naps.
Using Parallel Structure

With Coordinating Conjunctions

When you connect two or more clauses or phrases with a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but,
or, yet, or so), use parallel structure.
Example
Not Parallel:
My best friend took me dancing and to a show.
Parallel:
My best friend took me to a dance and a show.
With Correlative Conjunctions
When you connect two clauses or phrases with a correlative conjunction (not only…but also, either…or,
neither…nor, if…then, etc.), use parallel structure.
Example
Not Parallel:
My dog not only likes to play fetch, but also chase cars.
Parallel:
My dog not only likes to play fetch, but he also likes to chase cars.
OR
My dog likes not only to play fetch, but also to chase cars.
With Phrases or Clauses of Comparison
When you connect two clauses or phrases with a word of comparison, such as than or as, use parallel
structure.
Example
Not Parallel:
I would rather pay for my education than financial aid.
Parallel:
I would rather pay for my education than receive financial aid.
 Created by the Evergreen Writing Center
Library 3407 Š 867-6420

With Lists
When you are comparing items in a list, use parallel structure.
Example
Not Parallel:
John Taylor Gatto criticizes public schools because they are compulsory, funded
by the government, and destroy students' humanity.
Parallel:
John Taylor Gatto criticizes public schools because they are compulsory, government-
funded, and normalizing.
OR
John Taylor Gatto criticizes public schools because they require students to attend,
receive money from the government, and destroy students' humanity.

Exercise
Read the following example sentences and revise any that do not use parallel structure. Remember that there are
many ways to revise a sentence to reflect parallel structure; if possible, rewrite each incorrect sentence in more
than one way.
Some helpful hints on how to revise sentences for parallel structure:
1) Figure out what parts of the sentence are being compared.
2) Decide whether they are parallel, i.e. arranged or constructed in the same way.
3) If they are not, make them parallel by making the grammatical construction the same in each part.
Examples
I would rather eat potatoes than to eat rice.

Global warming affects humans, the environment, and is scary.

It's harder to do long division than dividing with a calculator.

Pirates ransacked the mansion, but they didn’t steal all the silver.

Merchants receive either money or trade goods with their clients.

Bruce Wayne enjoys donning his Batman costume, answering the Commissioner's phone calls, and saving
Gotham City from cruel villains like the Penguin.