FRIENDS

"The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up"

By

Mike Camerlengo

[email protected]
 COLD OPEN
1 INT. CENTRAL PERK - DAY
ROSS, RACHEL, JOEY, PHOEBE, and MONICA are seated in their
usual spots.

JOEY
Hey does anyone know if this is the
year we’re supposed to pay our
taxes?

Audience laughter.
ROSS
Joey, you’re supposed to pay your
taxes every year.

JOEY
Right but...but even on a leap
year?
RACHEL
Joey, hunny, you’re so cute when
you’re being silly.
Joey makes a face that says holy shit everyone thinks I got
hit by a cement truck and my brain is mush.

JOEY
That’s me, always being silly!
Rachel goes back to reading. Ross leans in and whispers to
Joey.

ROSS
I got a guy, I’ll give him your
number.
Joey gives a thumbs up.

Suddenly, the door swings open and CHANDLER runs in.

CHANDLER
You’ll never guess what just
happened!

PHOEBE
You bought a fish tank!
CHANDLER
Nope.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 2.

MONICA
You asked that girl out from your
office?
CHANDLER
Danielle from Accounting?
MONICA
Yeah!
CHANDLER
No, I wish!
JOEY
You’re moving to Alaska to compete
in dog sled racing?

CHANDLER
What? No!
The crowd laughs. Talk about random, Joey!
CHANDLER
I’m going to be a stand up
comedian!
ROSS
Are you sure buddy? That’s a pretty
tough thing to do. Most people
dedicate their whole lives to it.
CHANDLER
Everyone is always telling me how
funny I am, now it’s time to put my
money where my mouth is.

MONICA
Does that mean you’re going to be a
dirty comic?

Everyone looks at Monica in a state of confusion.

MONICA
Because money is dirty and you said
you were going to put it in your
mouth - shutting up now!

CHANDLER
(yelling)
Excuse me doc, clean up on aisle 7!
The audience laughs even though it doesn’t really make
sense.
 3.

ROLL OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE

2 INT. COMEDY CLUB - 5PM
Chandler and Ross are seated at a small table in the back of
club. 26 men are all staring at their tiny notebooks
scribbling jokes.
ROSS
So why do they call it an open mic?

CHANDLER
It means anybody can get up and
tell jokes. It’s how all the best
comedians start.
ROSS
Anyone can get up there? Even a guy
who just wants to talk about the
history of life on Earth as
reflected in the fossil record?
Laughter.

CHANDLER
Ross, leave the jokes to the joke
man, Thumbs McGee!
Chandler points two thumbs at himself.

Some clapping - the audience hopes this becomes a catch

phrase.
ROSS
Hey Thumbs...shouldn’t you be
writing down some jokes?
Ross points to all the comedians scribbling in their
notebooks.

CHANDLER
Oh I am my friend, but the pen is
inside my brain.
ROSS
Hope the ink isn’t toxic!

Big laughs.
 4.

3 INT. COMEDY CLUB - SEVERAL HOURS LATER

Chandler has his head down asleep on the table and Ross is
struggling to keep his eyes open. There is five people left
in the club.

A COMEDIAN is finishing on stage.

COMEDIAN
And that’s when I told her, big
boobs and vodka, that’s a Friday
night.
The audience gives an "ohhh" not sure if they should laugh
or be offended. But there are a few scattered claps because
let’s be honest big boobs and vodka is a killer t-shirt
idea.

COMEDIAN
Alright, that’s my time.
He exits to silence.

The HOST jumps up on stage and grabs the mic.

HOST
Yes, ok let’s hear it for that last
comic.

He starts clapping by himself for several seconds too long.

HOST
Ok let me bring up my next
comedian.
(glances at notecard)
Oh a first timer! Chandler Bing.
What kind of shitbag name is that?
Ross nudges Chandler.

ROSS
Dude, you’re up!
CHANDLER
What!?!

Chandler slaps himself in the face and runs on stage to grab

the mic.
CHANDLER
Hey man, thanks for calling me a
shitbag. Although I thought that’s
what we all called your mother!

(CONTINUED)
 "FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 5.

The audience laughs hard. Great burn. Fuck that dude’s mom!
CHANDLER
But let’s get off of moms, because
I just got off yours.
Again the audience erupts. That host is on permanent burn
notice.

CHANDLER
Let’s dive into some jokes...yeah
let’s dive head first into
something...or what the host’s mom
calls Friday night!

Chandler is roasting.
CHANDLER
Hey baby you come at the Bing, you
better be able to sing!

Chandler starts dancing on stage and points to Ross who

gives him two thumbs up.
We now leave the scene because the audience is losing their
minds so much.

4 INT. JOEY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Rachel knocks on the door and Joey opens.
RACHEL
Joey, we need to talk!

She grabs his ear and walks him over to her apartment.
5 INT. RACHEL & MONICA’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
RACHEL
You want to tell me what the hell
those are!?
Rachel points to a giant stack of adult magazines called
Lust & Bust.

JOEY
I can explain!
MONICA
Let me guess, you just read the
articles?

Laughter.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 6.

PHOEBE
(reading the magazine)
Oh yeah this is a great piece on
high interest rates.

JOEY
Really?
PHOEBE
Nuh uh!

Laughs - great Phoebe misdirection.

MONICA
Joey why did you have 200 adult
magazines sent to us?

JOEY
They must have messed up the
address. Look, one of my acting
buddies said selling these are a
great way to make a few bucks.

RACHEL
You’re going to sell a magazine
that has the phrase "Nuttin’ But a
P Thang Baby’ on the cover?
The audience kind of laughs, it sounds like a fun pun but
nobody is really sure.
JOEY
I gotta sell these by the end of
the week or I won’t be able to pay
my rent. Will you guys help?
MONICA
No way, Rach, we have plans to go
to Cafe Cafe before Chandler’s
show. I’m reviewing their new menu.

RACHEL
Yeah sorry Joey but I’ve been dying
to go to Cafe Cafe. It’s one of
those places where you eat
blindfolded.
JOEY
Blindfolded huh, how you doing?
The audience gasps with a bit of horny approval.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 7.

RACHEL
In your dreams.

MONICA
On that note, let’s go Rachel, we
don’t want to be late.
RACHEL
Good luck Pheebs! See you guys at
the show.
Rachel and Monica exit.
JOEY
Phoebe...what do you say? Will you
give me your trust with Lust &
Bust?
Two dudes in the audience high five because they love when
three words rhyme.

PHOEBE
Oh, ok fine! But just because I’m a
really good person.
JOEY
Yeah you are!

PHOEBE
So what’s your strategy?
JOEY
I don’t know, I was thinking we
would just call people?
PHOEBE
Do you have a list?

JOEY
We could use the phone book?
(remembering)
And ohh! You just read from this
script. It’s just like acting.

Joey picks up the phone and dials a number from the book.
JOEY
(into phone)
Hi sir, do you feel your needs
aren’t met by your lover on a daily
basis? Then I have just the thing
that will give you a real homemade
bottle rocket if you know what I
mean.

(CONTINUED)
 "FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 8.

Joey winks at Phoebe.

Laughter.
JOEY
(into phone)
What’s that? Oh you’re happily
married? I’m sorry ma’am sometimes
it’s hard to tell!
Laughter.

JOEY
I guess this is going to be harder
than I thought.
Phoebe shakes her head and points at Joey’s crotch.

PHOEBE
Looks like you mean that literally.
The audience dies. Boner jokes for the win. Next scene time.

6 INT. CAFE CAFE - NIGHT

Rachel and Monica are seated at a table in a small
restaurant. They have blindfolds over their eyes.
Laughter.

WAITER
Hi ladies, can I start you off with
some appetizers?
RACHEL
This is so strange. I can’t see you
at all! Where are you?
Rachel puts her arms out.
MONICA
I’ve never been to a restaurant
like this before.
WAITER
It’s an unusual experience but if
you just sit back and let your
other senses take over, you’ll
enjoy the food much more.
MONICA
I’ll take your word for it...what’s
your name?

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 9.

Monica reaches for him and finds his solid tricep. Guy
definitely knows his way around a Bowflex.

WAITER
Uh, my name is Darren.
MONICA
If it isn’t it should be!

The crowd hoots and hollers. All they know is that Monica is
horned up!
RACHEL
Easy tiger.

Laughter.
WAITER
Now how it works is you have a
choice of beef, chicken or
fish. Then our chef who is also
blindfolded will prepare the meal
of your life.
MONICA
Wait, why is the chef blindfolded?

WAITER
Ma’am, at Cafe Cafe we do lots of
things but we never give away our
secrets.

MONICA
Wow you’d be a great spy.
WAITER
How do you know I’m not already?

The waiter flexes his tricep again but Monica can’t see him
and he awkwardly tries to brush up against her hand to no
avail.
The audience snickers. What a fucking dope.

MONICA
Ok. I’ll have the chicken.
RACHEL
Make that two!

WAITER
Two chickens coming up.
He walks away still pissed about that failed flex.

(CONTINUED)
 "FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 10.

MONICA
What could go wrong?
Camera pans out and the audience is like oh I’m with that
foreshadowing.

7 INT. COMEDY CLUB - MUCH LATER THAT NIGHT

Chandler and Ross are seated at a table in the back of a
packed comedy club.

ROSS
Dude this is amazing. Where did all
these people come from?
CHANDLER
After I crushed that open mic the
booker told me I could do this
professional show if I brought five
paying customers.
ROSS
Awesome. I’m sure we get some kind
of drink discounts right?
CHANDLER
Nope! And you have to buy two
drinks. Even if you’re not drinking
you have to order a $12 coke. It’s
showbiz baby.
ROSS
You got it.
Joey and Phoebe sit down.

JOEY
Hey there Mr. Comedy!
PHOEBE
This is so exciting.
They hug the group.
ROSS
Where have you guys been?

JOEY
I’ll tell you where I haven’t been
and that’s selling pictures of
hooters and cooters over the phone.

Joey winks at Phoebe.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 11.

The two guys in the audience who love rhyming do a cool

handshake.
Chandler pulls out a notepad and is scribbling jokes.
PHOEBE
Oh la la are those your funnies?
CHANDLER
Funnies are what kids read in the
newspaper. These are called jokes.

PHOEBE
Sorry Mr. Bean.
Laughter from 8% of the audience. Not a huge Mr. Bean
contingent today.

ROSS
What are you doing? The other night
you didn’t need jokes and you
killed!

CHANDLER
But that was an open mic. This is
the big leagues. Paying customers.
Time to bring the heat.
JOEY
You know who brings the heat?
Jasmine from South Dakota, 21 years
old and loves to ski.
The audience laughs. One guy mutters under his breath "pics
or it didn’t happen."

Monica and Rachel approach the table, both pale as ghosts.

PHOEBE
Oh no are you guys ok?

MONICA
Never trust a chef who can’t see
his food.
Laughter.

ROSS
Ah yes, just as our founding
fathers warned us.
CUT TO: The HOST on stage.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 12.

HOST
And now, a great new young comic. I
saw this guy last night. What a
funny dude. Chandler Bing!

Chandler rips two shots of whiskey.

CHANDLER
Time to make the donuts.
Chandler runs up to the stage and grabs the mic.

CHANDLER
Thank you Detroit!
There is a long dreadful silence.

CHANDLER
So do you guys ever think about
what happens after you die? Like
you’re supposed to either go to
heaven or hell right? Well isn’t
that what the weekend is called? I
mean Saturday is heaven and Sunday
is pretty much hell if you ask me.
Silence. Ross is like fuck me man did I really show up with
this guy and how do I get out of this?

CHANDLER
But honestly, does anybody hate
when their TV goes out on them?
Then you gotta wait on the repair
man. And let me say, waiting on the
repair man is worse than waiting
for that Christmas bonus.
Silence.
Monica and Rachel are dry heaving because they each ate a
pound of raw chicken and now have salmonella poisoning.
CHANDLER
But, uhhh, you know. Let’s get off
mothers, because I just came on
yours. Got off yours. I just got my
cu- you know what...
Chandler drops the mic and runs off stage.
Someone in the audience is like damn is this show a drama
now?
 13.

8 INT. CENTRAL PERK - DAY

Chandler is seated on a chair reading Lust & Bust.
GUNTHER approaches with a tray of coffee.

GUNTHER
You know that stuff will make you
go blind.
Laughter.

CHANDLER
Oh no! It’s not...it’s actually
Joe-,
Gunther looks at Chandler like come on bud we all know
you’re a porn guy.
CHANDLER
I read it for the articles.
Big laughs. Great callback!

Gunther sets down the coffee.

GUNTHER
You know I did a little stand up in
my day.

CHANDLER
You did stand up comedy?
Gunther looks around.

GUNTHER
Don’t you hate it when people yell
at you for leaving the toilet seat
up and you’re like well I’m just
gonna have to pee again!

Small laughter. Is that the end of the joke?

CHANDLER
Wow, that’s hilarious! Why’d you
quit?

GUNTHER
Had one bad show. I ran off stage
and then never got the nerve to go
back.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 14.

CHANDLER
I know something about that.
The audience is ready for a flashback to Chandler’s set but
then they remember they just saw what happened and really
don’t need one.

GUNTHER
If you want something bad enough
you have to keep at it. Like me
trying to date Rachel.

CHANDLER
Yeah what’s the deal with that?
You’re approaching restraining
order status.

Quiet laughter. A man whispers to his date that Gunther is

kinda creepy and he’d never get like that no matter what.
GUNTHER
See there you go, that’s pretty
funny.

Gunther exits and the rest of the gang enters the shop.
The all take seats on the couch.
PHOEBE
(to Chandler)
Well if it isn’t Sam Kinison.
Laughter from the older members of the audience and the
younger ones are like I’m assuming that’s a comedian.

CHANDLER
Very funny guys.
MONICA
Who am I?

Monica uses her hand to act like a plane is crashing

following by a huge explosion.
Laughter.

CHANDLER
Good one, Mon.
JOEY
Look everyone I’m Chandler.

Joey pretends to choke on a cookie. He falls on the ground.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 15.

Laughter. It’s funny, Chandler really did suck.

ROSS
Joe?
Joey jumps up and points to his throat. He tried to make a
joke but now he’s really choking.
Monica does the Heimlich and Joey spits out a cookie that
hits Chandler in the face.
CHANDLER
And thank you for that.
Laughter.

JOEY
Sorry, I just learned about method
acting.
The gang stares in disbelief. Did this dude get run over by
a cement truck that made his brain mush?
ROSS
Chandler, look. The other night was
bad.

CHANDLER
Thanks bud, was this your pep talk?
Chuckles.
ROSS
But! It’s because you weren’t being
yourself. They say to be funny on
stage you need to be yourself.
CHANDLER
Oh yeah I’ve heard that before.
ROSS
Think about the open mic. You tore
that guy’s mom to shreds by being
in the moment.

The audience laughs remembering that massacre.

ROSS
Be in the moment.

CHANDLER
You’re right!
Chandler jumps up and runs away.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 16.

MONICA
Hey where are you going?

CHANDLER
I’m not going...I’m being...in the
moment!
Laughter. Good joke but also where are you going because
it’s pretty rude to just get up and leave.

Chandler exits.
A GUY in the background is staring at Phoebe.
RACHEL
Hey Pheebs, stalker alert at 6
o’clock.
Even though they aren’t talking about him, Gunther drops to
the floor and out of sight by the mere mention of the word
stalker.

PHOEBE
Hey pal!
The guy points at himself.

PHOEBE
Uh huh, yep you. Looking all
(makes knife motion and noise
from the movie Pyscho)

Laughter.
The guy walks over.
PHOEBE
Can I call you George Foreman?
Because you’re grilling me!
Laughter.
A couple audience members remember the Foreman Grill and
promise themselves to think of a cool invention when they
get home.
GUY
Oh I’m sorry! It’s just. It’s you.
It’s really you.

PHOEBE
Yep it’s me. Wait, what?
The guy points to the Lust & Bust left on the table.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 17.

GUY
Page 44. Lola, from South Carolina.
Ross flips to page 44.
ROSS
Hmm, Phoebe, I didn’t know you were
so...bendy.
The gang all jumps up and circles around Ross to see a
picture of Phoebe in Lust & Bust.

MONICA
Woah, looking food Phoebe!
PHOEBE
That’s not me! That’s Ursula.

The audience laughs remembering that Phoebe has an identical

twin sister. Classic mixup.
ROSS
How can you tell?

PHOEBE
Because she has an outie
bellybutton!
THE GANG
Ohhh yaaa!
Laughter turns to quiet reflection as the audience thinks
about the one person in their family with a weird ass outie
bellybutton.

GUY
Oh I’m sorry. I thought that was
you. I was going to ask for your
autograph.

He starts to walk away.

JOEY
Wait! It is, she’s just being shy.
How’s $20?

GUY
No problem!
The guy hands over the money and Phoebe reluctantly
scribbles her name on the page. The guy takes the magazine
and walks away.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 18.

PHOEBE
Hey Joey, why did I just sign Lola
on a half naked picture of my twin
sister?

JOEY
You’re my secret weapon! Now we’ll
definitely be able to sell all the
magazines.
PHOEBE
Ohhhh, no.
Laughter. Great Phoebe reaction.
ROSS
While Larry Flynt and his
associates are selling magazines,
does anyone else wanna go see a
movie?
Small laughter. Hugh Hefner is probably a better name to use
but the writer had a big thing for Hustler growing up.

MONICA
Sorry, Rach and I have to go back
to Cafe Cafe.
ROSS
Isn’t that the place that made you
sick?
RACHEL
We’re going back...but not to eat.

MONICA
For payback.
Rachel pulls out a container of eggs.

RACHEL
They messed with the wrong chicks.
Laughter.
Time to go to Cafe Cafe because we’re all very intrigued.
 19.

9 INT. CAFE CAFE - A FEW HOURS LATER

Rachel and Monica are seated at the same table as before,
both wearing blindfolds.

The same waiter approaches.

WAITER
Oh hello ladies, I’d recognize
those chins anywhere.

RACHEL
Yep, it’s us. Back for some more
excellently cooked chicken.
WAITER
Glad you liked it. The chickens are
free range, so no restrictions on
where they go. Kind of like me at
the gym.
The waiter flexes but again nobody sees him. He’s
disappointed.

MONICA
We’ll have the same as last time.
WAITER
Two chickens for two chicks coming
up.
He exits.
MONICA
Hey Rach, did you hear that?
RACHEL
(mocking)
Two chickens for two chicks.

MONICA
Time to let these chicks fly like
an eagle. Remember, aim for the
chef.
Monica claps twice. They stand up and pull eggs from under
their seats and start throwing them.
MONICA
Say hello to my little friend!

(CONTINUED)
 "FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 20.

RACHEL
Cluck, cluck, cluck!

Laughter.
Because they are wearing their blindfolds they are
completely missing the kitchen and instead hitting all of
the other customers.

The audience is like take off your blindfolds but also we

understand you’re not thinking straight ever since the
salmonella poisoning.
Finally out of eggs, Rachel and Monica take off their
blindfold.

MONICA
Oh no.
RACHEL
Whoops.

Laughter but also everyone is kinda feeling bad for people

who got pelted with eggs in the dome. They just wanted to
eat in piece.
WAITER
Oh great, now I have to clean this
all up.
He gets down to start picking up eggs shells but starts
doing pushups.

WAITER
Just a thing I like to do.
The CHEF approaches and hands them a note to reads BANNED
FOR LIFE.

MONICA
Look for my review in Sunday’s
paper!
10 INT. RACHEL & MONICA’S APARTMENT - A FEW DAYS LATER

Ross is seated on the couch reading a newspaper next to

Rachel and Monica.
ROSS
(reading)
What can you say about Cafe Cafe?
The food is excellent, the chef is
phenomenal and the waitstaff
definitely doesn’t skip leg day.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 21.

Laughter.
ROSS
I can’t believe you gave them a
good review.
MONICA
I had to! They were threatening to
sue.

RACHEL
Plus, Monica wanted a date with the
waiter.
MONICA
A guy that good looking should
really work at a place where the
customers can see him.
Laughter. Very true statement by Monica, that horndog!

The door swings open and in come Chandler, Joey and Phoebe.
CHANDLER
Hello, liddeolo.
Laughter at Chandler’s made up words. Dude’s funny.

CHANDLER
(to Joey)
Tell them the good news!

JOEY
Phoebe and I sold all our Lust &
Bust’s!
ROSS
(sarcastic)
I feel like a proud father.
CHANDLER
No not that. The other good news.
JOEY
Chandler has a standup show
tonight!
RACHEL
What? Even after that time you ate
your dick in front of everyone?

The audience is kind of quiet. Can a character say eat your

dick on NBC? It’ll probably be cut later so let’s just laugh
now.

(CONTINUED)
 "FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 22.

CHANDLER
What can I say? I listened to a
friend. I’m going to be myself and
that’s all I can be.
He looks fondly at Ross.
PHOEBE
Is that from Popeye?

CHANDLER
I don’t think so Lola.
The gang laughs.

PHOEBE
Hey cut me some slack, my mom
killed herself you know.
Silence.

Nervous audience members’ buttholes become the size of a

thumbtack. Kind of a weird time to bring up your mom’s
suicide, I mean the episode is almost over.
PHOEBE
Just kidding! I’m whacky.

The gang and the audience laugh. Thank god nobody is

thinking about suicide anymore. Wait, we’re still thinking
about it! Why did she say that? Shit let’s get to the final
scene.

11 INT. COMEDY CLUB - SEVERAL HOURS LATER

The gang is all sitting at the back table. Monica’s date
from Cafe Cafe is there.
A WAITRESS comes by.

WAITRESS
Hey guys, just want to let you know
we have great specials tonight. $15
domestic beers. And for those not
drinking, you can get a 12 once
Coke with a free refill for $11.99.
She walks away.
PHOEBE
I feel like we’re an old sweater
because we’re getting ripped.
Laughter. Pretty good joke.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 23.

ROSS
(to Chandler)
You ready buddy?
CHANDLER
I just gotta be myself and keep
trying.
Chandler looks over to the door and sees Gunther peering
into the club. Is he there for support or because he knows
Rachel is there from that tracking device he put in her
purse. Nobody knows.
He runs away.
Everyone turns back to the host on stage.

HOST
This next comic
(glances at notecard)
Oh man, this guy is known for
blowing chunks on stage. Just
kidding, just kidding. Let’s give
him a round of applause for
Chandler Bing!
Chandler walks to the stage and takes the mic.
CHANDLER
What’s up Detroit!?!?!
Dead silence. Ross is like again with this shit? I thought
you learned your lesson.

Chandler’s stomach turns. Rollercoaster farts are going to

turn into nervous shits if he doesn’t get a hold of this
thing.
Ross lips the word BE YOURSELF to Chandler.

He nods.
CHANDLER
Hey man, you said I’m known for
blowing chunks, but why are we even
talking about blowing? I mean I
didn’t even see your mom come in!
The audience loses it. Back to this dude’s mom. We never met
her but we know she sucks!

(CONTINUED)
 "FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 24.

CHANDLER
In fact, if we’re being honest, the
only chunks I know are you and all
of your brothers.

Laughter with hooting and hollering. Does this guy have

brothers? Are they fat? Who knows but honestly who cares
because Chandler is CRUSHING.
CHANDLER
But I shouldn’t be so focused on
family, because last time that
happened I created an entire one.
Yours!
Nobody really knows what’s happening at this point but I
think Chandler is saying he had sex with this dude’s mom and
is the father to him and all of his brothers. Weird zinger
but fuck the whole audience is up on their feet now.
CHANDLER
Thumbs McGee, out!

Chandler drops the mic. Pretty weird to end after three

jokes but he knows when the job is finished.
The audience is cheering Thumbs McGee, Thumbs McGee!
Chandler jumps into the arms of the crowd and they surf him
back to the table.
He did it. We all did it.
ROLL END CREDITS

EPILOGUE
12 INT. CENTRAL PERK - DAY

The gang is all sitting in their usual spots.

RACHEL
So Chandler, when’s your next show?
CHANDLER
Oh I think I’m going to take a
break from stand up for awhile. I
think I just wanted to prove to
myself that I could do it.

(CONTINUED)
"FRIENDS - The One Where Chandler Tries Stand Up" 25.

PHOEBE
Don’t want to be rich and famous
and have crazy stalkers after you?
Gunther hears the word stalker and runs away from the couch
diving headfirst through the front window.
CHANDLER
Hey doc, cleanup on aisle 7!
Everyone laughs. Talk about a callback for the ages.

END SHOW