Forgiveness

Several years ago one of my best friends got married.

She married her high school sweetheart, her first love. Their names are Darrel and Vivienne.
Now this story is not all sunshine and light. This couple had a turbulent past.
When they left high school they became involved with a bad crowd.
They both were drinking too much, smoking too much and they started doing drugs.
But while all this was going on they were still going to church – sometimes.
One day God touched their hearts and they began to change.
They stopped doing drugs, they stopped smoking, they stopped drinking, and they started going
to church and telling others about how good God was to them. That’s when they decided to get
married.

In New Zealand it is a tradition that before a wedding the groom will have a Stag Party and the
bride will have a Hen’s Party. These are parties that generally happen a few nights before the
wedding.

A Hen’s party is where the bride and her girlfriends get together and have one last party as before
the bride becomes a married woman. Generally the bride is dressed up in embarrassing clothes,
she is taken out to dinner and her friends give her gifts.

A stag party is similar, the groom and his male friends go out for one last party, these parties can
become fairly wild.

At Darrel’s Stag Party were some of his friends from his old life. The guys he used to hang out with
when he was taking drugs. One of them gave him some marijuana. “For old times’ sake,” he said.
Darrel did not want to spoil the mood of the party, so he smoked the marijuana. And he got
‘hooked’ again.

A couple of days later he and Vivienne got married.

For the first year of their marriage Vivienne did not know that Darrel had started doing drugs
again. When she found out she was devastated. Darrel promised to change. But he didn’t. Things
got worse, he stopped going to church, he started drinking again, and smoking again, and he
was doing all of these activities in front of her.
Another year passed, Vivienne go pregnant and had a baby. Vivienne tried her best, but she
found that when she was with Darrel while he was drinking or smoking or doing drugs it was pulling
her. She remembered how good it felt to do those same things. Yes, she also remembered the
bad things, but somehow those bad things were not as memorable as the enjoyable parts, not as
memorable as the way drugs and alcohol made her feel.

She asked him to stop, but he wouldn’t. And then Vivienne became pregnant again.

Finally Vivienne made a decision. She did not want to become like Darrel, and start taking drugs
again, or start smoking or drinking again, but what he was doing was so tempting to her. And she
definitely didn’t want her children to grow up thinking that drugs were ok. She wanted them to
grow up as Christians.

So she told Darrel he had to leave. She told him that she loved him, that he would always be her
husband, and the father of her children, but that she couldn’t live with him while he was indulging
in activities that tempted her away from God. Then she made some conditions. She told him he
had one year to clean himself up and that then he could come home. If he didn’t sort out his
addictions by the end of the year then she would start divorce proceedings.

So Darrel went to live with his mother. But he didn’t change. During that year Vivienne would visit
him regularly; she cooked his favourite food and took it to him. She took the children to visit him.
She helped him in every way she could. But she would not let him come home.

Finally the year was up. Vivienne dresses carefully, she made herself extra beautiful and she went
to visit Darrel to tell him he could come home. When she got there he ‘as high as a kite’ on drugs.
She was so devastated. She came home crying and the next morning she visited a lawyer to start
divorce proceedings.

That’s when things started to click for Darrel. He realised what his drug addiction was costing him.
He realised that he was going to lose a loving wife and his children if he didn’t change. So he got
help. With Vivienne’s help he admitted himself to a Christian rehabilitation centre and during the
next six months he overcame his drug addiction, he stopped smoking, he stopped drinking and he
came to know Jesus in a whole new way, because he came to recognise a reflection of God’s
love in the love and forgiveness of his wife.

Now Vivienne and Darrel still married, they are happily living together and they are leaders in their
church. It’s not always easy, just like any marriage there are good times and bad times but they
know that whatever happens they really love each other and that knowledge carries them
through all the hard times.

For me this story represents the way that God loves and forgives us.

Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. God said to them “I love you but I can’t live with
you. I’ll do everything I can to help you start living right again, but I can't live with you unless you
change.”

Then He gave us a time limit. He told us, I’m going to come back and if you’re not ready I’m going
to start divorce proceedings. Only since God is the source of life, if we are divorced from Him we
will die.

Then He did exactly what He said He would do, He started to do everything He could to help us
change. He recognised that we can’t change, that on our own we can’t overcome sin, so He
sent Jesus to overcome sin for us. And He told us, “accept my sacrifice on your behalf and I’ll
change you.”

And always He tells us, “I love you, and I forgive you. Change and come home.”

Now like Darrel we have to make a choice, will we continue living the way we are? Or, will we
accept Jesus’ love, forgiveness and sacrifice? Will we allow Him to change us? Will we be ready
when he comes back for us?

All we have to do is three things:

1. Confess our sinfulness to Him
2. Turn away from our sin – and He helps us do that,
3. Accept the gift of forgiveness and Salvation that Jesus offers.

Then God will do everything He has promised – and there are many promises, here are just three
of them.

Micah 7:18-19
Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his
inheritance? You do not stay angry for ever but delight to show mercy. You will again have
compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the
sea.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all
unrighteousness.

Isaiah 55:7
Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
 Forgiveness Forgiveness

1. What would you have done if you were Vivienne? 1. What would you have done if you were Vivienne?
2. Have you ever experienced love and forgiveness like Darrel? 2. Have you ever experienced love and forgiveness like Darrel?
3. Do you think it’s possible to forgive if you don’t love? 3. Do you think it’s possible to forgive if you don’t love?
4. If we accept God’s love how should we act to other people? 4. If we accept God’s love how should we act to other people?
5. Read the promises below. Do they give you hope? 5. Read the promises below. Do they give you hope?

Hebrews 8:12 - For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no Hebrews 8:12 - For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no
more. more.

Acts 3:19 - Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that Acts 3:19 - Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that
times of refreshing may come from the Lord times of refreshing may come from the Lord

Isaiah 44:22 - I have swept away your offences like a cloud, your sins like the Isaiah 44:22 - I have swept away your offences like a cloud, your sins like the
morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.’ morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.’

Isaiah 43:25 - ‘I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, Isaiah 43:25 - ‘I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more. and remembers your sins no more.

Psalms 32:1 - Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are Psalms 32:1 - Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are
covered. covered.

Nehemiah 9:17 - They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you Nehemiah 9:17 - They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you
performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed
a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and
compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert
them them

Colossians 1:13-14 - For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and Colossians 1:13-14 - For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and
brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the
forgiveness of sins. forgiveness of sins.

Psalms 103:3 - …who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases… Psalms 103:3 - …who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases…

Luke 7:47 - Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven – as her great love Luke 7:47 - Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven – as her great love
has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.’ has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.’

Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other,
just as in Christ God forgave you. just as in Christ God forgave you.

2 Corinthians 2:7-8 - Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he 2 Corinthians 2:7-8 - Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he
will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your
love for him. love for him.