2022-09-01 Readers Digest New Zealand

NEW ZEALAND
RD
TALKSIES
OUR STOCRASTS
AS POD
Barry
Humphries
On Life Among
The Gladioli
PAGE 26
WHEN ROBOTS
Go Wild
PAGE 60
WHY AM I SO TIRED?
When You Need To
See Your Doctor
PAGE 76
TRUE CRIME
This GoFundMe Scam
Fooled Everyone, Almost
PAGE 46
SINGAPORE GRAND PRIX SEPTEMBER 2022 $6.50

Where Fast Cars
And Fine Dining Meet
PAGE 110
In uncertain times trust
means everything.
CONTENTS
SEPTEMBER 2022
60 56
Features
26 40 56
i remember health food for thought
Barry Humphries Blue Muffin Spaghetti
The celebrated Challenge Bolognese
comedian on his alter Your gut transit time is The inauthentic
ego, Dame Edna associated with the Italian pasta recipe
PHOTOS: (COVER & SPAGHE T TI) GE T T Y IMAGES. ILLUS TR ATION: RICHARD BORGE
Everage, and his health of the gut spread around the

fascinating career microbiome. Here’s globe to become an all
in theatre and TV. a colourful test to learn time family favourite
AS TOLD TO more about your at mealtimes.
RICHARD BARBER digestion. HELEN FOSTER DIANE GODLEY
34 46 60
art of living true crime technology
Stop Losing GoFundMe Scammer Robots Gone Wild!
Your Stuff Former classmates and Humans aren’t
Here’s what to do if friends rally around perfect, and it appears
you are constantly Cindy, supporting her neither are machines.
misplacing objects in a time of need. Until When robots are left in
such as your phone, a shocking revelation charge to do the job
wallet or keys. changes everything. they’re designed for,
ANGELA HAUPT FROM SARAH TRELEAVEN FROM epic fails can occur.
THE WASHINGTON POST ONE ZERO MEDIUM ANDY SIMMONS
ON THE COVER: BARRY HUMPHRIES – PAGE 26
readersdigest.co.nz 1
86
96
health
The New
First-Aid Rules
Take a refresher course
CONTENTS in the latest guidelines
on treating minor
SEPTEMBER 2022 injuries and mishaps.
104 STACEY COLINO FROM

THE WASHINGTON POST
72 104
humour quiz
Millennials, Who Am I?
Where Are Your To correctly identify
PHOTOS: (LE AF & QUEEN) GE T T Y IMAGES; ILLUS TR ATION: (FOOT) NIEN-KEN ALEC LU
Manners? these 12 famous
Self-absorbed or just personalities, you’ll
plain rude; some have to answer a set
of the younger 86 of tricky questions.
CAROLINE FRIEDMANN
generation seem photo feature
sadly lacking in Just Blending In!
social etiquette. Difficult to spot,
PATRICIA PEARSON these camouflaged
creatures adapt to
76 their surroundings.
health DORIS KOCHANEK
Why Am I So Tired?
Lack of sleep is not 92
the only cause of father’s day special
exhaustion. Experts Like Father, Like Son
suggest other reasons A shared delight in
as well as ways to
restore energy.
VANESSA MILNE
rap music transcends
two generations.
JAMES BROWN
96
2 september 2022
38
Departments
the digest
18 Pets
20
118 20 Health
24 News From The
World Of Medicine
129 RD Recommends
110 regulars
travel
Singapore 4 Editor’s Note
Under Lights
The spectacular
6 Letters
10 News Worth
Sharing
12
PHOTOS: GET T Y IMAGES; ILLUS TR ATIONS: (TECH) TR AVIS COBURN; (CAR) GET T Y IMAGES.
Singapore Formula 1 12 My Story

Grand Prix takes 16 Smart Animals
place at night around 68 Look Twice
a perilous street 75 Quotable Quotes
circuit, while fans 84 Tell Me Why
enjoy the sights, food
humour
and culture of the
38 Life’s Like That
city-state. 66 Laughter,
STEWART BELL The Best Medicine
102 All In A Day’s Work
118
bonus read the genius section
The Future Of Tech 134 Stop! Put Your
How does the Phone Away
138 Puzzles
‘metaverse’ work?
141 Trivia
What is an ‘NFT’? We
explain some of the
technological
142 Puzzle Answers
143 Word Power 75
innovations changing
the world we live in.
Follow us @ReadersDigestNewZealand
CHRIS STOKEL-WALKER
R E A DER’S DIGE ST
EDITOR’S NOTE
The Tech Revolution

THIS MONTH, IN A FUN JUXTAPOSITION, we take a serious look
at the technology that we can come to expect in the near future, while
also enjoying a laugh at robots and how they don’t always perform with
precision and common sense. Aptly called ‘Robots Gone Wild’ (page 60),
our dig at robots shows just how difficult
a day-in-the-life of your average robot
can get… and how mean we humans
are! Meanwhile our Bonus Read, ‘The
Future Of Tech’ (page 118), investigates
the five leading areas of technology most
likely to impact our lives in coming years.
From self-driving cars and automated
workplaces to leaps into the space frontier,
the future is looking anything but slow.
Again on the topic of technology, this
month’s Genius section examines a trend
many of us are guilty of – using our phone
too much. In ‘Stop! Put Your Phone Away’
(page 134) we offer ways to reduce your dependence, and suggest
better methods to help get connected to the world outside.
We also take a look at updates in first aid, something that changes
regularly. ‘The New First-Aid Rules’ (page 96) is well worth a read
ILLUS TR ATION: RICHARD BORGE
to unlearn former habits and help deliver the best aid in a range
of common injuries.
There’s something for every reader in your household.
Enjoy,
LOUISE WATERSON
Editor-in-Chief
4 september 2022
NEW ZEALAND
Vol. 203
No. 1208
September 2022
EDITORIAL
Editor-in-Chief Louise Waterson
Managing Editor Zoë Meunier
Chief Subeditor Melanie Egan
Art Director Hugh Hanson
Senior Art Designer Adele Burley
Art Designer Annie Li
Senior Editor Diane Godley
Associate Editor Victoria Polzot
DIGITAL
Head of Digital Content Greg Barton
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LETTERS
Reader’s Comments And Opinions
Teachings From The Fab Four

Thank you for your write up regarding the
way the Beatles’ creativity came into play
during the production of their albums such
as Let It Be (‘A Lesson In Creativity’, June).
I’ve been a long-time fan of the ‘Fab Four’.
The Beatles and Elvis Presley, who is
dubbed ‘The King’, remain influential in
the world of music in general, and rock and
roll in particular. I hope to be able to apply
the lessons shared in the article.
DINO VIRGILIO G. MONZON III
Triumph Over Tragedy circumstances. Carter’s words – “I

I was deeply touched by the story can make a bigger difference now
of Carter Viss (‘Run Over By A than I ever could before” – really
Speedboat’, May). His remarkable demonstrate his exemplary inner
strength of character, inherent strength as a man. BARBAR A BRIGGS
nobility and spiritual maturity were
evident in the article. This story The story about Carter Viss losing his
shows that whatever happens in arm after getting hit by a speedboat
one’s life, there is always a chance to – and then forgiving the driver – was
rise above it. Our attitude towards among the most compelling I’ve ever
such circumstances determines read. Here was a story of health and
whether we use it as an opportunity loss, sea and shore, healing and the
for growth or are crushed by adverse will to endure. L. JONES
Let us know if you are moved – or provoked – by any item in the magazine,
share your thoughts. See page 8 for how to join the discussion.
6 september 2022
Letters
Cabbage On The Menu

With abundant nutritive value,
cabbage is key to maintaining
good health and warding off many
ailments (‘Cabbage: Versatile And
Nutritious’, July). It may lower
cholesterol and blood pressure and
even improve digestion. Lightly
cooking cruciferous vegetables,
such as cabbage, helps to increase YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
dietary isothiocyanates (ITCs) that We asked you to think up a funny
have cancer-preventive potential. caption for this photo.
RIFAQUAT ALI I asked for a head of lettuce,
not a lettuce head.
Masters Of Violin Music SHEILA WINGENT
Special thanks for Chuck My lettuce to the headitor.

BRADLEY T.
Squatriglia’s wonderful article,
‘Saving The Stradivarius Sound’ Lettuce quit while we’re still ahead.
BRIAN S. KEELEY
(June). The unique sound
I just need to veg out.
produced from these highly prized MARTIN NEW
instruments continues to attract Caesar is dead, lettuce pray.
scientific investigation. They are RABIA LATIF
Congratulations to this month’s
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featuring a one-of-a-kind
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rhodium accents and a 14K Come up with the funniest caption
gold nib. Congratulations to this for the above photo and you could win
$100. To enter, email
month’s winner, Barbara Briggs.
[email protected]
or see details on page 8.
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(My Story, July), I remembered Best Medicine!
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Smart Animals Up To $100
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Share antics of unique pets
and although it freaked him out or wildlife in up to 300 words.
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My Story $400
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8 september 2022
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NEWS
WORTH
SHARING
Linking Conservation And Communities
M
ountain gorillas, which are found “I realised that you cannot protect the
in the forests of the Democratic gorillas without improving the health of
Republic of Congo, Uganda and their human neighbours,” she says.
Rwanda, have faced multiple threats to In 2003, Kalema-Zikusoka founded
their survival over the last 120 years. Conservation Through Public Health
Due to poaching, habitat loss and (CTPH), which addresses the physical
human-transferred illnesses, there and economic wellbeing of the
were only around 600 left by 1989. Indigenous Batwa people who live in
Today, that number has increased the forests. The organisation teaches
to more than 1000 – thanks in part to hygiene, conservation awareness and
the work of wildlife veterinarian Gladys provides economic opportunities for
Kalema-Zikusoka. families that would otherwise resort
When Kalema-Zikusoka began to poaching.
her career with the Uganda Wildlife Kalema-Zikusoka, who last year
Authority in 1996, she treated received a United Nations Champion of
PHOTO: GE T T Y IMAGES
mountain gorillas suffering from the Earth Award, said: “We’re showing
a deadly form of scabies that they people that we don’t care only about
had picked up from humans living in wild animals and the forest. We also
unsanitary conditions near the forests. care about them.”
COMPILED BY VICTORIA POLZOT
10 september 2022
News Worth Sharing
Do Something For Nothing
O
ne day in 2015, London
hairstylist Joshua Coombes
encountered a man living
on the street. Coombes had his
tools with him and, on an impulse,
offered him a free haircut. The
man’s look was transformed. But,
says Coombes, what mattered
more was their conversation.
ULUU co-founders Michael Kingsbury
Coombes began offering
and Julia Reisser
outdoor cuts, shaves and trims to
more people living on the streets,
listening to their experiences as Seaweed-Derived Polymers
he did so. “Those stories really An Alternative To Plastics
T
moved me,” says Coombes, who he plastics industry accounts for
felt they needed to be shared and, around six per cent of global fossil
with consent, started posting fuel consumption and, with a rise
dramatic before-and-after photos to 20 per cent expected by 2050, a
along with narratives under the Western Australia start-up is producing
Instagram account an alternative using seaweed.
@dosomethingfornothing. Using funding from CSIRO, ULUU
It’s estimated that some is making a class of biomaterials
150 million people around the made from seaweed called
world can’t access housing. Free polyhydroxyalkanoates (PHAs). These
PHOTOS: (HAIRCUTS) FACEBOOK; (SE AWEED) COURTESY OF ULUU
haircuts for the homeless are are natural polymers that mimic
now offered in many places in petrochemical plastics. They are strong,
the world, including Perth and water insoluble and biodegradable.
Melbourne in Australia, and ULUU co-founder Julia Reisser lists
Auckland in New Zealand. the absorption of carbon dioxide and
the small amount of fossil fuels required
for farming seaweed among the many
benefits offered by these biomaterials.
CSIRO scientist Pete Cass specialises
in biodegradable plastic technologies
and has been working with ULUU to
analyse its product quality. “For our
research, a range of testing is tailoring
the material’s properties,” he says. The
biomaterials could then be used in the
manufacturing of different products,
including packaging.
MY STORY
Our
Second
Chance
Life offers new possibilities
for a little bird and me
BY Mandy Poole
I
t was dark and I was standing in I was anxious. In front of this
front of a stranger’s house in an person I would have to look
unfamiliar street, in an unfamiliar confident, like I’d done this sort
suburb in Sydney’s north-west, of thing many times before. With
rescue box in hand, leather him watching on, would I be able
gloves under my arm, my head full to transfer the bird neatly into my
of instructions to follow. The little rescue box? Or would it slip through
bird waiting inside the house would my gloves and escape inside his
be my first test as a volunteer wildlife house? Would I be game enough to
rescuer since I’d completed the handle the bird and examine it? How
two-day intensive training course would I know if it was injured and
the previous month. A call had needed to be rushed to the all-night
come through that afternoon from animal hospital? A kind-looking
ILLUS TR ATION: GE T T Y IMAGES
a member of the public: a bird of man ushered me inside to see my

unknown species was being attacked very first patient. I lifted the edge
by a mob of noisy miners in his of the shoe box very slightly to see
front garden. He scared off the noisy a petulant-looking bird standing to
miners and grabbed their victim. attention on very thin, spindly legs,
Could someone please come together with a slice of banana and a
quickly? small dish of water. “It’s eaten some
12 september 2022
My Story
standing its weight on both its legs.

It looked alert with no evidence
of a concussion. I hadn’t seen this
species of bird before, so I trawled
the internet, looking for a likeness.
What are you? Give me a clue, little
bird. After a while I came across
something that looked like a match:
a rufous fantail, so called because
of its red-brown tail feathers that,
when fully open, spread out into a
neat little ‘fan’.
I phoned the bird specialist of the
branch of my local rescue group. She
told me this species hunts insects on
the wing, so other than giving it an
opportunity to rest, keeping it longer
than overnight would only do it
harm. I needed to release it the next
banana,” said the man, triumphantly. day, on the same street it came from.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him When I peeked in on it the next
that it looked to me as if the banana day, I was relieved to see it was
had simply shrivelled in the heat. still alive and looking bright-eyed.
The bird seemed very twitchy, so I I waited until dusk, which would
decided not to grab it by hand but provide the cover of darkness, to
just transfer the whole shoebox release it. I bundled it up into a
into my rescue box. I didn’t want to pillowcase, careful not to snag its
appear incompetent. pretty tail feathers, and sat the rescue
Back home, I couldn’t see any box on the car’s front passenger seat.
obvious sign of injury: there was Half an hour later, I was back on
no blood on its feathers, no blood the street where I’d rescued it, gently
around its beak. Neither of its wings holding the bird, still bundled in the
was hanging down asymmetrically pillowcase, and wondered, What
to signal a broken bone; it was would be different for this delicate
creature this time around? Nothing.
It would have to fend for itself just as
Mandy Poole lives in Sydney and has been
rescuing wildlife since 2009. She enjoys the before, and be strong enough – even
great outdoors and travelling, as well as after 30 hours in captivity without
reading and writing. food – to catch some insects and
replenish its energy levels without I had a free weekend. Why

delay. Small birds generally have very couldn’t that person be me? The
high metabolisms and next to no only thing stopping me was a
stores of body fat, therefore need to chronic lack of confidence. I
eat very regularly. typically didn’t put my hand up for
I held the pillowcase up as high as tasks that I might fail at, especially
I could to give it a good lift-off and in public. But if, after undertaking
open the flap: the little bird flew off the course, the wildlife rescue
swiftly into the darkness organisation was
without a pause. My willing to take a chance
first rescue had ended on me, then I could
in a successful release. find the courage to take
on the responsibility of
THAT WAS BACK in May this role.
2009. My first successful I did the course and
rescue was not just a came away with my
second chance for the certificate and an ID
bird: it was a change card identifying me as
in direction for me. THE TAIL a fully-fledged member
Five months earlier, FEATHERS OF of the organisation,
I’d received a cancer THE RUFOUS legally allowed to
diagnosis and it had
been eight weeks since
FANTAIL SPREAD retrieve and care for
wildlife in my own
the end of radiotherapy
OUT INTO A home.
treatment. I was now LITTLE ‘FAN’ All I had to do was
at the point where I wait for a phone call
wasn’t scheduling my and not chicken out at
days around hospital visits. There’s the last minute. And then it came:
nothing original in taking stock of there was a small bird picked up by
your life after cancer treatment. For an elderly man who’d looked out
me, it was making room in my life for his front window after hearing a
wildlife rescue. I’d been fascinated commotion of bird calls.
by animals ever since I was a young It was in a box in his lounge room
girl but had always thought that I’d waiting, just for me.
missed that boat. But I’d heard about

a local wildlife rescue group that was Do you have a tale to tell? We’ll pay
seeking volunteers, and was holding cash for any original and unpublished
a two-day intensive course in wildlife story we print. See page 8 for details
rescue. on how to contribute.
14 september 2022
The demand for Pet
Refuge is increasing
Living prices are going up and consequently domestic
violence cases are too. The need for Pet Refuge is
greater than ever.
Donate $25 at
petrefuge.org.nz
or call 09 975 0850
SMART ANIMALS
Getting close to nature offers all manner of surprises
Waxing Lyrical drowned out by the screech of a

SAMANTHA KENT cockatoo. A currawong also piped up,
I quite enjoy meandering Shipley keen to make itself heard. It struck
Road in the Blue Mountains. One me as odd that despite all these birds
day, I parked my car and followed a crowding into a small space so close
steep path, where I emerged to find to the path, I couldn’t see one.
myself high above the Megalong Then the magpie started up
Valley. I sat down to catch my breath again, followed in the same order
and admire the view. by the whip bird, crow, cockatoo
After a few minutes I started to and currawong. The calls followed
retrace my steps, when the cracking one another seamlessly. This was
of twigs alerted me to what I figured a competitive but friendly group of
was an animal. I crouched down birds! One more sequence of calls
to try to see what it was, but the and it dawned on me I was being
ILLUS TR ATIONS: GE T T Y IMAGES
undergrowth was too dense. The duped: by a lyrebird. One bird, five
carolling of a magpie just off the path different birdsongs, on repeat. I can’t
revealed the creature’s identity. I say that I can identify a lyrebird’s
stopped to enjoy the song, which was own unique song, but I knew enough
soon followed by the unmistakable to know that I was listening to one
crack of a whip bird, then the cawing mimicking other birds that day. And
of a crow, which itself was soon what a virtuoso it was.
16 september 2022
Size Doesn’t Matter
GARY NISBET
A few years ago, our six-year-old mini
fox terrier, Impi, proved to us that
size doesn’t matter. A diminutive
little character, he was all heart but
wily as a real fox.
We lived on a large rural property
where snakes are abundant. We were
always careful to close the doors. old Maltese terrier, and Impi – and
On one occasion, however, we had a swiftly exited the house and closed
visitor staying with us. As she was a the sliding door behind her. Now,
chef and cooked outdoors, she often she found herself outside with no
left the door open while we were out. car keys or phone. Not to mention
This particular evening, my wife that Tigger, our cat, was nowhere to
and two daughters, aged ten and six, be found.
arrived home at around 5pm. Our My elder daughter, Savannah,
visitor had gone to work. The girls suggested walking up the driveway
went straight down to the chicken to flag down the first car that drove
pen to check out their newly adopted by. Luckily, it was our neighbour,
Pekin duck while my wife went inside Alan, who calmly took control of
to find little Impi barking incessantly the situation. “Oh, it’s just a snake,”
at the lounge suite. She did not pay he said, and removed the slithery
immediate attention to the foxie and creature without too much fuss.
proceeded into the kitchen to put her I arrived home just as Alan was
phone and keys down. exiting the house, snake in hand.
After a few minutes, with no My wife’s welcome home response
end to the barking, it was time to was “Find me another fox terrier!”
investigate. My wife pushed the The cat was found asleep
three-seater lounge suite a metre upstairs, blissfully unaware of
across the floor to find a large the commotion.
red belly black snake curled up
underneath. Shocked, she picked brought to you by
up the dogs – Simba, our ten-year-
You could earn cash by telling us

about the antics of unique pets or
wildlife. Turn to page 8 for details www.houseofpets.co.nz
on how to contribute.
PETS
Curious Cat Habits

Why your friendly moggy exhibits quirky behaviours
BY Dr Katrina Warren
FELINE BEHAVIOUR can vary enormously from one

cat to another – they can be friendly or aloof, lazy or
energetic, vocal or quiet. They are certainly intriguing
creatures with many cute and sometimes strange
habits that often have us wondering. Veterinarian
Dr Katrina Warren provides answers to your questions
about oddball cat behaviours.
1

WHY DO CATS LIKE HIGH PLACES? Wild cats
were hunters, and frequenting high places meant they
Our regular had somewhere safe to view their territory, watch for
pet columnist, danger, and attack prey. Tree branches offer them
Dr Katrina Warren,
camouflage protection, and being up high provides a
is an established
and trusted
sense of security. This appears to be embedded into
animal expert. their DNA. Our domesticated cats also enjoy watching
the world from above, which provides them with a safe,
calm place away from the activity in a house.
2 WHY DO CATS SIT IN BOXES? Both wild and

domestic cats are drawn to hiding and sleeping in
contained areas. In the wild, this is in the form of trees
or caves, but at home, it is often the humble cardboard
box. Cats are predators, and a box offers a perfect place
to hide while waiting for prey. A box is an ideal place to
pounce from, as only one entrance exists.
A cat’s natural behaviour is to withdraw and hide in
18 september 2022
Pets
stressful situations, and it’s thought

that boxes offer a secure and safe
place for them to relax and rest.
Small spaces also provide insulation
to help cats retain their body heat
and stay warm. Cardboard boxes
are a cheap way to offer some
enrichment to your cat.
3 WHY DOES MY CAT GIVE

‘GIFTS’? Cats are well known

for leaving us gifts that we may
not want, such as lizards or mice. Cats like enclosed spaces which provide
comfort and insulation
Cats are predators and will hunt
4 WHY DO CATS LIKE

if allowed outdoors. Showing off
their catch to you means you are a
part of their family and they want RUNNING WATER? Many cats
to show you their hunting skills. appear fascinated with running
Don’t express anger, as they will not water and prefer drinking from a
understand. running tap to a water bowl. It is
The best way to avoid unwelcome thought this is because running
gifts is to keep your cat indoors water is clean, fresh and contains
– this will keep your cat safe and more oxygen, and they probably
protect other animals. Many indoor prefer the taste. Stale water is more
cats will give their owners ‘gifts’ of likely to be contaminated with
toys or items like socks as they have bacteria. Another possible reason is
no access to live prey – be sure to that their whiskers may hit the sides
offer your cat a variety of toys to help of a water bowl or the water when
them satisfy these natural hunting drinking from it, and they may find
instincts. this sensation unpleasant.
PLACES FOR YOUR CAT TO PERCH IN YOUR HOME

z Buy a tall cat tree and some shelving z Lean a ladder or
with platforms for that they can climb. stack boxes against a
perching and a place to z Place short shelves in wardrobe to allow them
sleep at the top. a layered fashion that to climb up and sit on
z Add a cat hammock provide a ‘ladder’. the top.
HEALTH
Green
Is Good
The many and varied health benefits of gardening
BY Charlotte Hilton Andersen
P
lanting and growing things seeds, pulling up weeds, carrying
offers a lot more than fresh bags of mulch, moving pots, pushing
vegetables and flowers. a lawnmower, and other gardening
Working in a nice outdoor tasks actually provide a whole-body,
space can boost your immune moderate-intensity workout for adults
system, help you stay fit, and sharpen over 65 years old, suggests a 2014
your mind – and that’s just for paper from the American Society for
starters. There are more advantages. Horticultural Science. Even better,
whatever your age, it is an activity with
IT’S A FUN WORKOUT It’s a purpose – and one that might keep
wonderful to get out in the garden you in motion longer than traditional
on a beautiful day to give it a tidy. exercise.

But if you find the idea of pottering
around in a garden a bit dull, knowing IT SHARPENS YOUR MIND
it’s doing you good physically might More than just good exercise for
make it more entertaining. Planting your body, gardening provides a
20 september 2022
Health
workout for your brain, according IT BOOSTS YOUR IMMUNE

to a 2019 study that appeared SYSTEM Having dirt under your
in the International Journal of fingernails may be a sign of poor
Environmental Research and Public hygiene, but scientists say it could
Health. Researchers measured also be a mark of good health.
brain nerve growth factors related Thanks to beneficial bacteria found
to memory in study participants – in soil, gardening may bolster your
all seniors – before and after they immune system, helping you get sick
created a vegetable garden, and less and fight off infections easier,
found that their levels of brain nerve according to research that includes
growth had increased significantly. a 2015 study published in the
international journal ImmunoTargets
IT REDUCES YOUR RISK OF and Therapy.
HEART DISEASE Even though
gardening may not involve high- IT INCREASES CO-ORDINATION
intensity cardio, it still provides AND STRENGTH Hand and
heart-health benefits. In fact, finger strength, flexibility and
gardening can contribute to coordination are essential for
reducing the risk of a heart attack everyday tasks like opening jars,
or stroke and prolong life by 30 per carrying packages and picking up
cent, according to a 2013 Swedish children. Gardening is a great way to
study. The benefits come from a hone and maintain those fine motor
combination of physical exercise skills and muscles, according to a
and the stress reduction that 2009 US study.
‘playing in the dirt’ provides.
IT NOURISHES YOUR SPIRIT Call
IT HELPS YOU CONTROL WEIGHT it the ‘gardening glow’ – working
Mitigating weight gain is a goal with plants provides stress relief
for many people, and gardening and positive sensory stimulation,
can help you achieve it, according suggests an experiment conducted
to a 2013 study published in the by NASA in 2016. The scientists
American Journal of Public Health. found that planting and nurturing
Gardeners have a significantly lower seeds, even in small pots, lifted
body mass index, as well as lower astronauts’ moods and eased their
odds of being overweight or obese, stress in the severe environment of
than non-gardeners, the researchers outer space. And if gardening can
determined. The average weight do that for astronauts, it should be
difference? About five kilograms for more than good enough for those of
women and seven for men. us who watch them on TV.
just your little finger, usually when
you’re relaxed. Slow movement
and stiffness are other symptoms,
but, surprisingly, having large
handwriting that suddenly goes little
and having trouble smelling can also
point to Parkinson’s.
FACT 3: EXERCISE CAN BE AS

IMPORTANT AS MEDICATION.
US research found that people with
Parkinson’s who did 2.5 hours of
exercise a week experienced a slower
decline in quality of life related to
their health.
About FACT 4: TREATMENTS INCLUDE
Parkinson’s MEDICATIONS, PHYSIO AND EVEN

SURGERY. There are a lot of different
drug treatments which help with
FACT 1: PARKINSON’S DOESN’T symptoms. Physiotherapy to improve
ONLY AFFECT THE AGED. Around movement and speech and language
ten million people across the world therapy if you have problems
live with Parkinson’s disease and speaking can be helpful. Deep brain
it’s the fastest growing neurological stimulation allows some people to
disease globally. While most move better and control involuntary
people start to develop symptoms movement. A device, like a heart
when they’re over 50, about one in pacemaker, generates a tiny electric
20 people start showing symptoms pulse to your brain via wires inserted
when they’re under 40. Actor Michael under the skin.
J. Fox was 30 when he was diagnosed.
FACT 5: THE CAUSE IS UNKNOWN.
FACT 2: SMALLER HANDWRITING What causes Parkinson’s remains

MIGHT BE A SYMPTOM. The usual largely unknown. Genetics cause
first clue that you might have this about ten to 15 per cent of all
progressive disease, which causes Parkinson’s. The other 85 to 90 per
problems in the brain when certain cent of cases are classified as
nerve cells die, is a tremor. This may instances with no known family
affect your chin, lips, hand or even history.
22 september 2022
We help you
GROW WELL
We’re proud to be plant-people, but we’re chuffed to find out our
customers think we’re as good with people as we are plants. So good
that we’ve won our second gold medal in the Reader’s Digest Quality
Service Awards. Thank you to everyone who voted for us. We are so
pleased we have been able to help so many kiwis grow well.
kings.co.nz | 0800 PLANTS

News From The
WORLD OF MEDICINE
SIMPLE TREATMENT TO show that regular physical

HALT HEARING LOSS exercise can help alleviate
Exposure to loud noise, symptoms of these
such as a fire cracker conditions.
or blaring concert, is a A Swedish study found
common cause of hearing that most patients with
loss – and now there may be a anxiety who participated in
way to prevent it. a 12-week aerobic and strength
A study from Keck Medicine of programme saw major improvements
University of Southern California – and the more vigorously people
found that exposure to 100 decibels worked out, the more their anxiety
of sound or more – equivalent to a reduced.
chainsaw or a motorcycle – causes To alleviate depression, another
inner-ear fluid to build up and cause solution is to spend less time sitting,
nerve damage. However, when the says a US study published in Frontiers
researchers applied a salt-based In Psychiatry. It found that people
solution inside the affected ears who spent more time on the couch
one hour after noise exposure, the looking at screens early in the
solution drew out the excess fluid pandemic were more likely to be
and the nerve damage lessened. depressed than those who got up and
After more testing of this simple moved more.
technique, people exposed to a
loud noise could be treated with the DRIED FRUIT IS BENEFICIAL
relatively inexpensive remedy. Adults in the US who consumed dried
fruit had a lower body mass index and
GET MOVING FOR YOUR blood pressure than those who didn’t,
MENTAL HEALTH according to a study in the Journal
More than 500 million people Of Nutrition And Dietetics. Dried
worldwide live with depression or fruit such as prunes, apricots and
anxiety disorders, which have been mangos are a good source of fibre and
exacerbated by the pandemic. It’s potassium. Just make sure to check
good news, then, that two new studies the ingredient label for added sugars.
24 september 2022
A gift in
your Will to
SPCA gives
generations
of animals a
brighter future.
For more information about leaving
a gift in your Will please contact our
Gift in Wills team on 0800 888 444,
or email [email protected]
I REMEMBER
Humphries
Creator of housewife megastar Dame
Edna Everage, Barry Humphries
recalls a life crowded with a succession
of eye-popping episodes
PHOTO: GE T T Y IMAGE
As told to Richard Barber
26 september 2022
Dame Edna with her
trademark gladioli
– as colourful and
extravagant
as she is
FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, I’VE EDNA WAS NAMED AFTER A CHILDHOOD
LOVED DRESSING UP. This is me in a NANNY I ADORED. But Mrs Everage’s
sailor hat (above, far left), aged five, in personality was more like my moth-
the garden of our home in Melbourne. er’s and her friends’ – intensely
I was a very happy small child, the eld- house-proud suburban wives. By
est of four – I have a younger sister and 1958, when this photo (above, left)
two brothers – content to play on my was taken, I’d begun to appear on
own. My parents often referred to me Australian television. Edna was very
as ‘Sunny Sam’. I was always cheerful rudimentary in those days, dressed
and always indulged by a large num- in a stretched twin set of my moth-
ber of aunties. On Sunday afternoons, er’s, a discarded skirt and a conical
I had to perform a little cabaret. There hat she bought to go to the races but
was a camphor box – I still have it – in never wore. The hair, though, is my
which I kept a diverse range of cos- own. Gathered around this early ev-
tumes. I’d appear and they’d all laugh ocation of Edna is the cast of the TV
and clap and then my mother would Review, broadcast live all over Aus-
urge me to sing Nymphs and Shep- tralia.
herds. But I was too shy and had to go
behind the curtain. Then she would IN 1959, I MADE MY FIRST JOURNEY TO
say, “Pretend to be the wireless.” THE UK. I sailed on an Italian boat
28 september 2022
Barry Humphries
A BBC
doc umenta ry
in the 1970s
from Melbourne to Venice from him a record of some of my early

where I was meant to catch a train monologues about which he’d said
to England. But I stayed in Italy and nice things. So I wrote him a letter
spent all the money I’d saved up so, asking if we could meet.
by the time I finally reached London, He answered very swiftly and en-
I had just enough in my pocket to thusiastically, asking me to join him
pay for a phone call to my more af- for lunch at his little London flat near
fluent sister, Barbara, who was living Smithfield Market, where he subse-
there and who lent me 20 quid. I’d quently said: “Call me John.” I felt I
brought Edna’s costume with me in had a new mentor. We became good
case I needed it and dug it out of my friends. Even when he was half-par-
PHOTOS: COURTESY BARRY HUMPHRIES
suitcase for a shipboard fancy dress alysed, lying in bed in Chelsea to-
competition. wards the end of his life, I would go
and read to him. He particularly liked
I’D ADMIRED THE POETRY OF SIR JOHN schoolboy stories of derring-do and
BETJEMAN (ABOVE, FAR RIGHT) SINCE I poetry of all kinds, most particularly
WAS A SCHOOLBOY. He wrote about the those written by poets who had fallen
suburbs very well, a subject that par- from favour like John Masefield. He
ticularly interested me. He’d been to also encouraged Harold Wilson’s wife,
Australia where someone had given Mary, to write poetry.
I’D LONG BEEN A FAN OF SALVADOR DALI I GOT TO KNOW LEO SAYER QUITE WELL
(ABOVE, FAR LEFT), WHO I MET IN NEW IN HIS DAYS OF FAME. And I’ve recent-
YORK. I was in a bookshop one day ly reconnected with him in Australia
and he came in to sign copies of his where he lives. He’s a lovely fellow.
autobiography. He and I got talking Here we are (above, left) being pre-
and we later invented a language sented to the Queen after a concert at
together. It was nonsense which we Windsor Castle in 1975. It was the first
both spoke fluently. time I’d met her and I found her very
His wife, Gala, took a fancy to me. pretty although rather shy. I think she
She dragged me back to her hotel was rather intimidated by this giant-
where she insisted on cutting my ess of a woman. I’ve been presented
hair, which she put in an envelope to her on a number of occasions since
and gave to me. I still have it some- and I’m a big fan. She’s magnificent.
where.
They invited me to their house in MY SILENT BRIDESMAID, MADGE ALL-
Spain; we had quite a few adven- SOP, WAS PLAYED BY A COUPLE OF AC-
tures. Dali always had to be the cen- TRESSES. Then, in 1987, I found Emi-
tre of attention. ly Perry (above, right) who became
He didn’t have the smallest idea the definitive Madge in my TV se-
who I was. ries, The Dame Edna Experience. I’d
30 september 2022
Barry Humphries
auditioned a number of actresses for was Tom Jones (above, far right),
what would be a recurring role. All a very popular guest. It took some
of them tried too hard. Some were courage for those guests to appear
whimsical, some camp, but most alongside Edna who, by this stage,
were far too over-the-top to resemble had lost all her inhibitions and was
an oppressed, inarticulate Kiwi spin- inclined to say exactly what was on
ster whom life had passed by. her mind. She had a hot seat and, if
I used to visit Emily at the end of her she took against someone, she’d press
life in Brinsworth House, a retirement a button and they’d be tipped back-
home in London for entertainment wards, a device that has since been
professionals. She’d say to me: “Oh stolen by Graham Norton with no hint
Barry, we had such wonderful times, of an apology.

didn’t we? If only I could remember
them.” She died aged 100 in 2008, an I TURNED 50 IN 1984 AND COULD NOT
example to us all. ACCEPT THAT I HAD GROWN SO OLD.
Everyone seemed so young in those
A NUMBER OF HIGH-PROFILE PERFORM- days and I can’t believe I’m still at it.
ERS WERE KEEN TO BE ON MY TV SHOW. I mean, who would tour the UK in
Lauren Bacall, who became a good their late 80s in a one-man show? But
friend of mine, was one of them as I like to think I have a young spirit,
something I’m pleased not to have to Wife No. Three for two sons. Between
draw people’s attention to. them, they’ve produced ten grandchil-
A lot of things give me a lot of dren on whom I dote. But then I’ve
pleasure which is why I intend to live become a lot smarter which is why
forever. this marriage has endured. For over
ten years of my life, I had a serious al-
LIZZIE SPENDER IS MY FOURTH WIFE. coholic illness. I finally put the cork
We’ve been married for over 30 years back in the bottle in my late 30s and
now (above, right). I have to thank haven’t touched a drop from that day
Wife No. Two for two daughters and to this.
A Load Of Croc
When Northern Territory pub owner Kai Hansen encountered a
feisty saltwater crocodile recently, he fought the 3.5 metre reptile
off with the only thing he had at hand: a frying pan. After a whack
on the snout, the crocodile made for the water. The seasoned
Territorian seemed unfazed, telling ABC Radio Darwin there was no
bad blood between him and the crocodile. ABC.NET.AU
32 september 2022
New Ze a l
by an
d
te
de
2022 • Vo
rs •
2022 ★
★
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the specials.
FREE hearing screening for
adults aged over 18 years
BOOK NOW
0800 002 599 dilworth.co.nz/screening
ART OF LIVING
STOP
LOSING
YOUR STUFF BY Angela Haupt
FROM THE WA SHINGTON POS T
34 september 2022
Can’t find your keys – again? Cognitive experts
can help you stop searching (and stressing)
S
asha Bradford doesn’t have about something else, and then we
time to lose things. She’s a never really encode the information
working mother with lots of into memory about where we’ve put
hobbies, and when she mis- the object, because we have other
places her keys, she becomes concerns occupying our attention.”
frustrated and irritable. That’s not necessarily a bad thing,
“It impacts me greatly,” says Brad- he says; we could be busy pondering
ford. She has attention-deficit/hy- something productive, such as a work
peractivity disorder (ADHD), which, task or what to make for dinner. Or
she says, makes her “prone to there could be another innocuous
put things in places and not factor at play: “It might be that I
remember where I put them.” mindfully put something down
Her angst is probably famil- somewhere – maybe it’s a book
iar to anyone whose phone is I’m reading – and I know I
‘missing-in-action’ a dozen times won’t be able to get back to it
a day, or who can’t find the TV re- for a few days,” he says. “And then I
mote until ten minutes after a favour- can’t remember where I put it.” This is
ite show has begun. Such lapses might a perfectly normal example of ‘transi-
be accompanied by a nagging fear: is ence’, or the decreasing accessibility of
something wrong with me? memory over time.
Probably not, experts agree. “It’s a Professor Schacter has tried to train
common occurrence and certainly himself to keep track of where he puts
annoying,” says psychology profes- his glasses and keys, to the point that
sor Daniel Schacter, director of the he sets them down only in certain
Schacter Memory Lab at Harvard places and would notice if he strayed
I L LU S T R AT I O N S: T M B S T U D I O
University. “Most of the time, losing from that routine.

things results from absentmind- Sometimes, when we’re operating
edness. That’s a breakdown at the on autopilot and not truly focused
interface of attention and memory, on our surroundings, even the best
where we’re focused on something of intentions might not suffice, he
other than the object we’re going to says. But for the most part, he thinks
lose – be it the TV remote or a phone people can overcome the tendency to
or glasses,” he says. “We’re thinking misplace things.
Sasha Bradford has learned to disease, whether they should be wor-

adapt, in part, by w riting dow n ried about misplacing items. Often,
where she has stored items and by it’s simply a normal part of ageing.
setting specific goals. For example, Still, some worry it’s a harbinger of
she says, “Every time I travel, I typ- Alzheimer’s disease, Dr Jicha says,
ically forget or lose something. So overlooking the fact that the problem
now I think of one thing that’s really has existed since they were teens.
important to remember, and I focus If you’re afraid you’ve developed a
on that.” She also coaches herself not problem that could indicate cognitive
to panic when an item goes astray. decline, he suggests turning to a trust-
If, like Bradford, you have ADHD, ed confidant: “Reach out to a friend or
you’ve probably strug- family member – and they
gled with wayward ob- TAKE A may tell you that you’ve
jects throughout your life, PICTURE been losing your keys all
says Stephanie Moulton
Sarkis, a psychotherapist
OF SPOTS your life,” he says. “What
we’re really looking for is
who specialises in the WHERE YOU a change from past per-
condition. To determine STORE formance.”
whether you need help, EASY-TO- A new tendency to
consider the intensity,
frequency and duration LOSE misplace things, or an
increase in severity, can
of the tendency to lose OBJECTS indicate you need to see
things: “Which means, a doctor. More than half
how much is it impacting your day- of patients who begin experiencing
to-day life?” memory problems have a non-de-
Somet i mes, people who have mentia cause that can be treated,
ADHD report that losing things af- Dr Jicha says, such as thyroid prob-
fects their work or relationships; for lems or a lack of sleep. Sometimes
example, if they can’t find their keys medication is causing the forgetful-
and are late to the office or a dinner ness, or vision or hearing troubles
party, they could anger their col- could be behind it.
leagues or friends. In that case, Sark- Here is some advice from experts
is says, it’s worth being evaluated by about how to overcome a tendency to
a doctor. There are many effective misplace things.
medications that can “make it so
your brain is able to put something When you put something
back where it belongs,” she says. down, say its location.
Many people ask Dr Gregory Ji- O ne w a y t o b e mor e
cha, an expert in neurodegenerative m i nd f u l of where you r
36 september 2022
Stop Losing Your Stuff
t hings are is to verbalise Invest in technology. There

where you put them, says are many gadgets and apps
Mareen Dennis, an assistant designed to keep track of items,
professor of psychiatry. “Say, Sark is says. There are fobs or
‘I’m setting my mouse to the right of ‘clickers’ that will ring like a phone
my computer,’ either in your mind or when you press a button on either
out loud.” This ups the odds that another fob or a phone app.
you’ll remember its location later.
Set up a routine by always placing
Make up a song. Make up your own things in the same spot. Professor
lyrics to a catchy song. “I’ve got a few Dennis coaches her patients with
people t hat use t he t une ‘Head, ADHD to make a “home for everything”.
S h o u l d e r s , K n e e s a n d To e s ,’ ” That might mean placing a basket by
Professor Dennis says. “That one your front door where you drop your
works really well. I’ve had somebody car and house keys and wallet on
sing, ‘My remote is sitting by the lamp. immediately entering your home.
By the lamp.’”
Take a breath. If you’ve misplaced
Take pictures. Ever wander around something, “give your brain a min-
the carpark because you can’t find ute or two,” Dr Jicha suggests. “[The
your car? Take a picture of your locat ion] w ill come, in t he vast
pa rk ing spot, suggests Susa n majority of cases.”
Whitbourne, a professor emerita of Be kind to yourself. It’s certainly
psychological and brain sciences. understandable if you’re frustrated
This advice can apply to lots of things: w it h your tendenc y to misplace
take a photo of all those spots where things. But if you keep beating your-
you store easy-to-lose objects, and self up about it, it could “become a
when you can’t find them, look at the self-fulfilling prophecy, and you
photo. start to think that you’re losing it,
that there’s something wrong with
Make your belongings stand out. you, and you get an x ious about
P rofe s s or Den n i s re c om mend s that,” Professor Whitbourne says.
designating a colour that you love and When your thoughts spiral in such a
using that colour for your key ring and manner, you’re even less likely to be
phone case, “so that, when you’re able to focus and keep track of your
scanning, you’re always looking for your possessions. So, remember to give
favourite colour.” You could also put yourself a break.
reflective tape on the TV remote, which THE WASHINGTON POST (FEBRUARY 10, 2022),
will make it easier to find. © 2022 BY THE WASHINGTON POST
LIFE’S LIKE THAT

Seeing The Funny Side
Pinocchio decides to discover his heritage.
Useful Around The House Playing A Little Guitar

I was invited by my friends, Lucy and It is a truism: ukulele players garner
Jack, to a Father’s Day lunch. Lucy little respect. Once, at a country and
and Jack’s eight-year-old daughter western festival, I was invited on
Amelia asked why there was a stage to jam with the band.
Father’s Day. “Because daddies look The lead guitarist took one look
after families, give lifts and help at my ukulele and said, “You know
around the house,” Jack said. you’re not supposed to wash your
CARTOON: DAVE COVERLY/SPEEDBUMP.COM
“That sounds like you, Mummy!” guitar in hot water, don’t you?”
Amelia piped up. SUBMITTED BY JOHN KLAPPROTH
SUBMITTED BY JILLIAN COHEN
Whoops
Uncalled For Reminder I recently underwent a hospital
I stopped referring to my parents scan. The radiographer and nurse
as elderly after someone told me, were inside a protective enclosure
“Well, they’d have to be now, and the instructions came over a
wouldn’t they?” slightly crackly speaker.
SUBMITTED BY SHARON SOLLARS We went through several rounds
38 september 2022
Life’s Like That
of “Hold your breath... and breathe”,

and then I heard, “Hold you breath...
and... burp.”
This is not something I can do
on purpose, but I did try. I was THE GREAT TWEET-OFF:
unsuccessful, and again heard, “... FATHER KNOWS BEST
And burp!” The dads of Twitter always have
I apologised and said, “I am sorry, something to say.
I am trying to burp, but I can’t.” My six year old loves bananas and
Then came the nurse’s clear tones, loves pancakes, but when Daddy
“My colleague is asking for your makes banana pancakes, I’m the
date of birth...” “worst dad ever!”
@DEVONESAWA
So glad I was unable to perform.
SUBMITTED BY K ATE MORRIS
Last night my wife asked me to
grab her keys out of her handbag.
Instead I found three Tupperware
Getting Along Swimmingly lids, two socks and a third kid we
My son came home from a session didn’t know we had.
at our local swimming pool in a @HOMEWITHPEANUT
grumpy mood. You can’t break me, kid. My gener-
When I asked why, he complained ation survived dial-up internet and
that he hadn’t been able to do as texting on a flip phone.
@GBERGAN
many lengths as he would have
liked to that evening. Have kids so you always have
“The pool should have three someone to tell you that your nose
lanes,” he told me. “One for hairs need trimming while standing
in checkout lines.
fast swimmers, one for slower @RODLACROIX
swimmers, and one for women who
My car was making annoying
just want to talk.” squeaky noises. It stopped once I
SUBMITTED BY GER ALDINE BURTON dropped off the kids.
@CHHAPINESS
That’ll Teach Me
While chatting with my friend’s
four-year-old son, the subject of age

came up and I asked him when he
would be five.
With the look small children
reserve for stupid adults, he replied,
“On my birthday.”
SUBMITTED BY SANDR A NEWCOMBE
The
BLUE
MUFFIN
Challenge
The science behind a quirky way of
evaluating your own gut health
BY Helen Foster
40 september 2022
HEALTH
A
ll over the world right now
people are turning their poo
blue – and then talking about
it on social media. Just a bi-
zarre new trend involving
way too much sharing? Pos-
sibly. But it can reveal important insights
into your internal health. Here’s why some
scientists are suggesting we all take the blue
muffin challenge.
It’s not news that food you put in one end
comes out the other – but have you ever
wondered how long it takes to do that? “This
is your gut transit time and when we recent-
ly measured it in a trial of 1000 people, the
average time taken was around 28 hours –
although anything from 14-58 hours is con-
sidered normal,” says Dr Sarah Berry, a nutri-
tional scientist from Kings College London,
who worked on the trial alongside research
team ZOE.
That same trial also triggered what is now
known as the Blue Poop Challenge. This
sees people eating a muffin containing an
amount of blue food colouring shown to
survive the digestive process intact. They
note what time the muffin went in, and
when a blue poo then comes out.
The resulting time is then entered into an
app allowing the team to collect data from

thousands more people than they could
ever hope to attract to a clinical trial.
They’re not just doing this for fun. Their
original trial threw up some important new
information. It revealed for the first to consume and start to feed on left-
time that the more ‘normal’ your gut over protein which changes those
transit time, the more plentiful the by-products,” explains the study’s
amount of bacteria in your gut – and author, Professor Henrik Munch Ro-
that’s something we know is linked to ager from University of Copenhagen.
better health. Instead of produci ng hea lt hy
“The bacteria in the gut are fuelled bowel-restoring compounds, they
by fibre in the food we eat,” says Dr now produce ones high in ammo-
Berry. “The duration that the food is in nia and sulphur that, not only might
our gut will determine damage the cells of the
how long the microbes bowel direct ly, t hey
can feast on it which also dissolve its protec-
in turn impacts their tive mucus layer – and
growth and diversity.” a bowel with a thinner
Short transit times mucosal layer is be-
move food out of the lieved to be more prone
bowel effectively ‘starv- to DNA mutations that
ing’ the bacteria while lead to bowel cancer.
ov e r l y l o n g t ra n s i t Even before we start-
times are likely a sign ed exploring things at
of a low fibre diet that
TAKING THE BLUE a cellular level though,
simply does not provide POOP CHALLENGE transit time was known
enough material in the REVEALS WHERE to matter. “A malfunc-
gut for the microbes to tioning digestive system
feast on. And changing
IN THE 14-58 is the start of ill-health
their diversity is not the HOUR RANGE in many ways,” says Dr
only way transit time YOUR TRANSIT Anneline Padayachee,
affects the gut bacteria. registered nutritionist
In 2016, Danish re-
TIME FALLS and adjunct senior lec-
searchers found that turer at the University of
longer transit times may actually Queensland.
make these good bacteria turn bad. “Every nutrient you eat has to pass
After consuming carbohydrates with- through the digestive system before

in fibre, gut bacteria usually produce it gets to the bloodstream, and a fast
helpful by-products that fight inflam- transit time can mean there’s not
mation and help restore the mucus enough time for vital nutrients to be
layer that protects the intestine. absorbed,” she says.
“But if the gut transit time is slow It could also be a sign of some-
the bacteria run out of carbohydrates thing irritating the gut wall (eg. an
42 september 2022
g ul a
Ilocked & r r e r Bowel
Health +
B training?
Probiotic
Boost
• Gentle
S
• Natural
• Effective
• Suitable for
long-term use
Phloe® is a natural digestive health formula derived
from New Zealand green kiwifruit. It contains a unique
proprietary kiwifruit extract, Zyactinase®, which has
k]n]fk[a]flaÚ[j]k]Yj[`klm\a]klgZY[calk]^Ú[Y[q&
Phloe®:agla[kYdkg[gflYafkgf]ZaddagfBacillus coagulans
MTCC 5856hjgZagla[kh]j[Yhkmd]&Làkkh][aÚ[kljYaf`]dhk
kmhhgjlY`]Ydl`qZYdYf[]gâfl]klafYdÛgjY&H`dg]®
:agla[k_]fldqfgjeYdak]kZgo]degn]e]flk$oal`gml
[Ymkaf_mj_]f[q$Yf\akkmalYZd]^gjdgf_l]jemk]&
re Help
gu s keep you
lar a or k
s clockw
<a]lYjqkmhhd]e]flkYj]fglYj]hdY[]e]fl^gjYZYdYf[]\\a]l&9doYqkj]Y\l`]dYZ]dYf\mk]Yk\aj][l]\&
A^kqehlgekh]jkakl$k]]qgmj`]Ydl`[Yj]hjg^]kkagfYd&<gm_dYkH`YjeY[]mla[Ydk$9m[cdYf\&
intolerance) or an infection (bacterial If you do want to nudge things clos-

or viral) that the immune system is er to the norm, how to do it varies on
trying hard to get rid of. “A slow tran- whether you need to speed things up,
sit time means constipation which can or slow them down.
lead to discomfort from bloating and A bowel that regularly moves too
a risk of hernias and polyps from the quickly (defined as a transit time of
straining involved in passing a stool,” less than 14 hours, or where poo is
says Dr Padayachee. regularly liquid) needs to be checked
The exact length of your transit by a doctor as there might be a med-
time relies on many factors. Diet, ical cause – for example, allergy, in-
particularly how much fibre you tolerance, IBS, inflammatory bowel
consume, is a big one, but general- disease or long-term infection.
ly: women’s bowels are slower than A sluggish bowel though can usu-
men’s; stress speeds ever y t hing ally be tackled at home. “Write down
up; and health issues like diabetes everything you’ve eaten in the last
or thyroid imbalances can make a 24 hours and the amount of water
bowel sluggish. you’ve drunk – and you’ll probably
Taking the Blue Poop Challenge notice it’s mostly white carbohy-
can reveal where in the 14-58 hour drates like bread, pasta and pies and
range your transit time falls, giving few wholegrains, fruit or vegetables
you the choice to optimise things and not enough water,” Dr Padaya-
further if you fall on the outer range chee suggests.
– you should definitely make some Changing these three things will
changes if you’re well outside it. probably help – and if it doesn’t, see
Although, Dr Padayachee points your GP to check why things are
out, most of this latter group probably sluggish.
don’t need to wait for the arrival of a And that’s where the Blue Poop
blue poo to tell them that. “The ap- Challenge can help us all; “it’s open-
pearance of a normal poo can reveal ing up the conversation about gut
a lot about your gut transit time.” health in a fun, informative way,”
If your poo is very liquid, that’s a says Dr Berry.
sign that your gut transit time is prob- And the more willing we are to talk
ably too fast, she says. “Conversely, a about our bowels, the more likely we
stool should take no longer than eight are to seek help for uncomfortable
seconds to pass so, if you’re straining symptoms affecting our quality of
and passing things more slowly, or if it life, or unusual ones that might be an
comes out as pellets, that’s probably a early warning of bowel cancer. Who
sign that you need to speed things up knew a dab of blue food colouring
a little.” could be so good for you?
44 september 2022
The Blue Muffin Challenge
HOW TO DO THE BLUE MUFFIN CHALLENGE

If you do decide to take the challenge, the first step is making the
blue muffins. This is the recipe the research team suggest you use
Ingredients baking powder and sugar batter into a muffin

z 245g plain, in a large bowl and stir. case – you should end
all-purpose flour z In a jug, combine the up with 12 muffins.
z 15g baking powder vegetable oil, water and z Bake for 24-26 minutes
z 15g granulated sugar vanilla extract. – or until a skewer comes
z 200g vegetable oil z Make a well in the out clean when inserted
z 230g water centre of the flour into the centre of the
z 1 tsp vanilla extract mixture and pour in the muffin.
z 1 tsp royal blue wet ingredients. z Cool for 20-30 minutes.
food dye z Add the blue food dye. z Eat two muffins for
z 12 muffin cases Using a whisk, mix until breakfast the next day,
the wet and dry noting down the time.
Method ingredients are well z Then, see what time
z Preheat the oven combined and the blue you pass a blue-green
to 325°F (170°C). dye is distributed evenly. motion. That’s your gut
z Combine the flour, z Pour, or scoop, 65g of transit time.
TRUE CRIME
GoFundMe
SCAMMER
HELP SAVE CINDY
7h •
I WATCHED AS FRIENDS
AND STRANGERS RALLIED
AROUND MY DYING CLASS-
MATE ON FACEBOOK.
BUT IT WAS ALL A SCAM
1567 473 Comments
Like Comment
BY Sarah Treleaven
FROM ONE ZERO MEDIUM
ILLUSTRATION BY Robert Carter
46 september 2022
Several years ago, I watched as

my old classmate, Cynthia Smith,
was publicly dying on Facebook.
Her wisecracking, self-deprecat- which was launched in November
ing tone had suddenly given way to 2014, “Smith lost her sight complete-
a sombre announcement, in 2014, ly, went into organ failure, suffered a
that she had been secretly battling massive stroke, and as of recently, the
chronic inflammatory demyelinat- nerves in her brain have been affect-
IMAGE: (PRE VIOUS PAGE) FACEBOOK RE ACTION ICONS: K ARNOFF/SHUT TERS TOCK.COM; FACEBOOK LIKE AND COMMENT
ing polyneuropathy (CIDP), a lit- ed, leaving her speech impaired.”
tle-known neurological disorder with The fundraising campaign not-
wide-ranging symptoms, though not ed that CIDP has no known cure,
typically fatal. but there was some hope pegged to
Smith had always been a chronic a pricey stem cell transplant. In the
over-sharer. She made jokes about meantime, the only thing keeping
ICONS: KOBLIZEEK/SHUT TERS TOCK.COM; DAFFODIL S: IS TOCKPHOTO.COM/ALPAMAYOPHOTO

her struggles with weight loss and her Smith alive was a cocktail of exper-
inability to nail down a boyfriend, imental medications that were not
and she invited all of her Facebook covered by the public health care
friends to her upcoming wedding, system. The GoFundMe account set
where she planned to marry a bag of a goal of CA$1.6 million to pay for the
jalapeño and cheddar Doritos. But treatment, and the cash poured in.
after the CIDP announcement, she It wasn’t until months later, when
disappeared from her own Facebook the crowdfunding campaign peaked
feed as close advocates took over and at $126,594, that people in Smith’s or-
started posting on her behalf. They bit started to realise something about
also added a new group page, Help the story was terribly wrong.
Save Cindy’s Life, to update Smith’s Since GoFundMe’s founding in
friends on the fine details of her fail- 2010, more than 250,000 campaigns
ing health. have been lau nched to pay for
Most people, including me, called health care costs, a full third of the
her Cindy, not Cynthia. site’s total campaigns, raising over
Smith’s prognosis quickly wors- US$650 million in contributions. As
ened, and her close friends and fami- far as we know, the vast majority of
ly scrambled to raise funds for exper- these campaigns are earnest pleas
imental medications using platforms for help.
like Facebook and GoFundMe. Ac- There have also been a number
cording to the GoFundMe campaign, of high-profile scams. In a 2017
48 september 2022
GoFundMe Scammer
incident, a couple in the US raised contributions from friends and fam-

$400,000 to ostensibly benefit a gen- ily can help demonstrate that a cause
erous homeless veteran who had giv- is legitimate.
en a woman his last $20 when she ran But what if friends and family
out of petrol. It turned out that the members are being duped, too?
entire narrative had been concocted When Smith got sick, I found my-
by the trio after they met outside a ca- self glued to her Facebook page.
sino, and the scam unravelled when Every morning in late 2014 and ear-
the veteran went public with the ly 2015, I made coffee and looked for
truth to complain he’d received only news about her condition. Through
a small portion of the funds. Some Facebook, I learned that Smith’s
scammers have started crowdfund- valiant fight with CIDP had actu-
ing campaigns in ally started three
the names of other years earlier. Since
people’s dead chil- She needed 2011, she had been
dren; others have suffering largely in
falsely claimed that
$7000 a week silence, her esca-
their own children for medicine, lat i ng s y mptoms
are sick or dead. and another unknown to those
In turn, platforms closest to her until
l i ke GoFu nd Me
$500,000 for the situation sud-
have come under a stem cell denly became dire.
increased scr ut i- transplant At over $7000 a
ny. GoFundMe has week, Smith’s med-
introduced a trust ications were exor-
and safet y team, which includes bitantly expensive. If this treatment
former members of law enforce- regime could somehow tip Smith into
ment whose full-time job is to sniff remission, one of Smith’s emissaries
out fraudulent requests and copycat explained, then she would become a
campaigns. The company pledges candidate for a stem cell transplant
that all donors will be fully refunded that would save her life. But the cost
if their donations are misdirected. of the medications was a drop in
GoFundMe prov ides potent ial the bucket compared to the cost of
donors a short list of questions to the stem cell transplant, tentatively
ask themselves so they can suss out organised in partnership with a US
scams. One of the items asks, “Are hospital at a price of $500,000.
direct friends and family making Smith’s supporters were determined
donations and leaving supportive and organised. A woman named
comments?” The suggestion is that Hilary Keeves, Smith’s best friend
of many years, led the fundraising seemed to have their own social me-
charge. “Cindy is truly one of a kind, dia profiles – took over her Facebook
with a heart that is bigger than this account to update Smith’s friends on
world!” she wrote on the GoFundMe her condition, alternating desperate
campaign. A series of fundraising pleas for help with small, endearing
events were organised, including a details of Smith’s new normal.
bottle drive and a scrap metal drive. Back in December 2014, about
The Help Save Cindy’s Life page on a month after the GoFundMe was
Facebook even allowed well-wishers launched, Nurse Tom posted on Face-
to purchase donated goods, like hand- book that Smith was rapidly deterio-
made beaded necklaces or a half-hour rating and they desperately needed
reflexology session. In periodic You- money to keep her alive. “We don’t
Tube videos, Smith k now i f she w i l l
displayed the gen- ever be well enough
erous gifts friends IT FELT LIKE to get her stem cell
donated and the transplant, but let’s
medical equipment
SOMETHING g ive her t he best
she was able to buy. WAS OFF, life we can, while
It w a s i n m id- but I didn’t she’s still with us,”
March that Chris, he wrote. “Please,
one of Smith’s car-
want to be the dig deep into your
e g i v e r s , t o ok t o person who hearts. Instead of
Fac ebook to a n- called her out that morning cof-
nounce that one of fee, would you con-
Smith’s friends, in sider donating that
a spectacularly loving and shocking dollar in Smith’s name? I am begging
gesture, had sold his home to help you all.”
keep Smith alive. The price of the Despite pleas from classmates to
house was never disclosed, but it help Smith over the course of her
was, according to Chris, reduced to crowdfunding campaigns, I held on
sell “against the advice of his real es- to my money. Instead of the empathy
tate agent”. If this kind of generosity I was supposed to feel in response to
didn’t motivate others to give until it this kind of appeal, I felt a terrible
hurt, what would? gnawing suspicion. I couldn’t shake
Despite all that support, it ap- the feeling that something was off,
peared as if Smith was losing her bat- but I didn’t want to be the person
tle with CIDP. Smith’s home nurses calling out a supposedly dying girl
– three men named Tom, Chris and on Facebook based on a weird feel-
Jeff who never appeared in photos or ing. What if I was wrong?
50 september 2022
GoFundMe Scammer
Then in mid-March, a reporter walking on her own, carrying a bas-

named Nicole O’Reilly started ask- ket of laundry. A new reality dawned
ing questions about Smith’s plight. on the group: they’d been ripped off.
She interviewed Smith’s best friend, On May 7, Smith’s mother, Kathy
Hilary Keeves, and her sister, Cheryle Vernon, addressed a barrage of ques-
Smith, but neither was able to pro- tions, writing in a short Facebook post
vide key details about her condition. that an investigation was ongoing and
“The more I kept asking about what that Smith was ‘fine’. That same day,
medications she was on, the names Smith was arrested on one count of
of her doctors, they couldn’t give fraud over $5000. A police investiga-
me any specifics,” says O’Reilly. She tion soon determined that Smith nev-
killed the story and a fellow reporter er had CIDP and was never dying. She
contacted the po- managed to dupe a
lice to suggest that couple of unwitting
something wasn’t She duped close friends into
quite right. helping her fool
Shortly after, in
a couple of hundreds of people
April 2015, a fund- unwitting close online, they found,
raising garage sale friends, then and then the inter-
for Smith was sud- net did most of the
den l y c a ncel led,
THE INTERNET work.
s p a r k i n g g e n e r-DID MOST OF As part of a plea
al confusion. Her THE WORK bargain, Smith ul-
hundreds of sup- t i mately pleaded
porters were out- guilty to a charge
raged about what it might mean for of fraud under $5000 and, with no
a woman in need of life-saving med- prior record, was sentenced to two
ications. But social media details of years’ probation, including manda-
Smith’s wellbeing were suddenly tory counselling. One report indi-
scarce. “I am sure they can’t stop you cated that she had no supporters in
from letting us know if she is even the courtroom. A publication ban
still alive????” wrote one friend on was enforced due to sensitive dis-
her Facebook page. cussions of Smith’s mental health
Then in May, the bottom fell out. history, which makes it challenging
A Smith Facebook supporter who to unpack exactly what happened.
happened to live nearby posted that It’s also unclear how much money
she’d seen Smith leaving her apart- Smith actually raised, but the police
ment. Smith was neither blind nor did seize a storage locker full of do-
using a wheelchair – in fact, she was nated goods and medical equipment.
In the wake of the revelation, a the fake medical fundraising cam-

vigorous discussion continued on paigns she sees. “I don’t think they
Smith’s Facebook page, with former wake up in the morning and say, I’m
friends sharing news stories and gen- going to scam someone,” she says.
eral disgust. One friend noted that “I think it’s more complicated than
her office had given their Christmas that. And I believe the basis is found
donation to Smith instead of a strug- in ‘Munchausen By Internet’, wheth-
gling local family. After months of er it’s the need for attention or some-
rallying in support, they all seemed thing else.”
incredulous about having been taken ‘Munchausen By Internet’, a term
advantage of – her actions had left a coined by Marc Feldman, a Univer-
terrible, bitter taste. sity of Alabama psychiatrist who
Smith is far from specialises in fac-
the only youngish t it ious disorders,
woman to rip off “CONSTANT is a n adaptat ion
friends and fami- of Mu nchausen’s
ly members on the
DRAMA IS A syndrome and de-
i nter net. T here’s BIG RED FLAG. scribes individuals
t he col lege g i rl With the who feign or exag-
who faked stomach gerate medical con-
cancer and had her
scammers, dit ions primarily
f r iends push her every day is online. They may
wheelchair around sweeps week” a l s o c re at e f a k e
to non-ex istent “sock puppet” ac-
chemotherapy ap- counts or alternate
pointments; the woman who stole personalities – posting as a con-
over US$260,000 through social me- cerned friend or nurse, for example
dia and two GoFundMe accounts, – to lend the ruse greater credibility.
conv incing even her young son Feldman says this kind of behav-
that she was dying; and the wom- iour disproportionately presents in
an dubbed ‘the photogenic queen’ younger women and hypothesises
of cancer fraudsters for lying about that’s because women tend to act out
breast cancer to raise $12,000 in her in more socially sanctioned ways.
small community. “When men act out, they end up in
Adrienne Gonzalez runs the site prison,” he says. “Women end up in
GoFraudMe, where she tracks fraud- doctors’ offices.”
ulent GoFundMe campaigns around Cancer is the most popular choice
the world. Gonzalez says that far of internet fakers, says Feldman, in
more women than men orchestrate part because of the language and
52 september 2022
GoFundMe Scammer
Smith (left) pleaded guilty to a charge of fraud and was sentenced to two years’ probation
perspectives we have collectively cases – there are days of tedium: ly-

established. “Battling cancer allows ing on the couch binge-watching
a person to adopt a certain heroic Netflix or sitting on the verandah, a
stance,” he says. In one fraudulent weary face turned to the sun. “Con-
crowdfunding case he studied, a stant drama is a big red f lag,” she
woman shaved her hair and brows, says. “[In legitimate illnesses] every
claiming the hair loss was from day is not this big dramatic roller
chemotherapy, and even tattooed the coaster, where you have a bone mar-
words ‘won’t quit’ on her knuckles. row transplant one day and the next
All of which was, of course, promi- day your cousin dies in a car crash
PHOTO: ERIC RIEHL/ME TROL AND MEDIA GROUP
nently displayed on social media. But and the next day the dog runs away
sometimes scammers choose some- and the house burns down. With
thing more obscure, he adds, making the scammers, every day is sweeps
the deception that much easier. week.”
Taryn Harper Wright, who hunts Smith’s two-year probation sen-
Munchausen By Internet cases, says tence didn’t seemingly square with
that the signs of a scam are unique the level of hurt and exploitation in
to each case, but there are some gen- which she had participated. On the
eral giveaways. When someone is other hand, it appears that Smith was
blogging about a legitimate illness, badly damaged almost from the very
she notes – even in the most extreme beginning. One early fundraising post
ran through a lifetime of bad luck, And yet, once I learned Smith had
including childhood trauma, being been lying, all of the compassion I had
placed in foster care, having a pace- been cautiously withholding came
maker implanted at the age of 32, and flooding in – even more for her than
being hit by a car. It’s unclear which, for those who had been victimised.
if any, of those things are true, but it’s There was something so fundamen-
easy to imagine that she was much tally sound and well-adjusted about
less content than she appeared before the unquestioning generosity of those
she started posting about CIDP. who rallied around Smith, and about
Reading over the posts written by the groundswell of financial and emo-
‘Nurse Tom’, who I suspect was an al- tional support she received even from
ter ego, I wonder now if Smith was just people who appeared to be short on
telling herself the things she needed both. I knew how awful it was to learn
to hear. “I have been a nurse for ten that you can’t save someone, and how
years now, and I can honestly say that extraordinary it was to watch people
it has been a pleasure and an honour try. Smith’s friends were stung, and
to work with a patient such as herself,” badly, but would hopefully shake off
wrote Tom. “She is my inspiration and their distrust and continue to take
why I love coming to work... I am so care of those closest to them.
blessed to call her my friend amongst But Smith built a loving communi-
all of you wonderful people.” ty and then obliterated it, almost as if
When I reached out to Smith to she felt she had no other choice or
tell her that I wanted to write about nothing to lose. And that’s sympto-
her, she was initially warm and gra- matic of something so utterly broken
cious. But the conversation quickly I can’t envision ever being able to put
turned volatile when I made clear it back together.
that I hoped to interview her on the
FROM ‘I WATCHED MY FRIEND DYING ON FACEBOOK.
record. She has since blocked me on BUT IT WAS ALL A GOFUNDME SCAM’. FROM ONE
social media. ZERO MEDIUM, ONEZERO.MEDIUM.COM
Salt Of The Earth

Researchers from Japan have developed computerised chopsticks
that enhance salty tastes, potentially helping those who need to
reduce sodium in their diets. The device uses a weak electrical
current to transmit sodium ions from food, through the chopsticks,
to the mouth where they create a sense of saltiness. The salty taste
is enhanced 1.5 times. REUTERS
54 september 2022
ONLINE
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FOOD FOR
THOUGHT
Spaghetti Bolognese
This family favourite has many arguing its origins
BY Diane Godley
S
paghetti bolognese appeared with the new-fangled food called
miraculously to me during a ‘spaghetti’ made a world of difference
Year 8 home science lesson. In to mealtimes.
her deep Scottish brogue, our This meal became a weekly staple
home economics teacher told the at our house – especially since the job
class to tie back our hair and start of making spaghetti bolognese fell to
chopping the onion, carrot and gar- me or one of my three sisters, giving
lic – the latter of which not many of my mother a break from cooking. But
us had ever seen. It was a revelation. the revelation that this ‘Italian’ food
This little-known vegetable, along was mouth-wateringly scrumptious
56 september 2022
Food For Thought
and could be made in our own kitch- prevalent menu item in restaurants
en, wasn’t just happening at our in Japan. Although Italian pasta was
house. All over the country, people introduced to Japan during the Edo
were slowly cottoning on that the period (1603 to 1868), it found its way
food our Italian neighbours enjoyed into the mainstream Japanese diet
every night was much tastier than via the US during its occupation of
the meat-and-two-veg and stews that Japan post-W WII, with spaghetti
we’d been raised on. featuring heavily in military food
This discover y of Italian food rations. By the 1980s, the Itameshi
didn’t just happen to the Antipode- boom (‘Ita’ meaning ‘Italian’ and
ans, either. In 2014, an employee sur- ‘meshi’ meaning ‘meal’ in Japanese
vey conducted by the German-based slang) cemented Japan’s new obses-
frozen food company Apetito found sion with Italian cuisine. Today, wafu
that spaghetti bolognese was the (Japanese style) spaghetti dishes can
third most popular dish eaten in be found almost anywhere in Japan.
their workplace cafete- In the 1980s, spaghet-
rias, according to sea- IT WAS MOUTH- ti bolognese was getting
sonedpioneers.com. a workout in Malaysian
And in 2018, research
WATERINGLY home kitchens, too, ac-
to find out how trends SCRUMPTIOUS cording to chopinand-
a nd new d iets were AND COULD BE mysaucepan.com, and
changing what British is still often found on
families ate at meal-
MADE IN OUR the menu of many local
times, commissioned OWN KITCHEN restaurants there.
by British cooking ap- While this dish may
pliance-maker Belling, discovered be on high rotation at mealtimes in
that spaghetti bolognese had blitzed many parts of the world, not all Ital-
the competition and was the firm ians love what we’ve done to their
all-time favourite meal of Brits. “It cultural cuisine. In fact, many pasta
has been interesting to see dishes, purists rail at the idea that spaghetti
which we now consider synonymous bolognese is the same dish as ragù
with family mealtimes, rising from alla Bolognese, as it is known in Italy,
relative obscurity, like everyone’s fa- or that it in fact comes from Bologna.
vourite spag bol, to take the top spot In 2019, the then Bolognese mayor,
in our chart,” said a Belling spokes- Virginio Merola, sparked a debate on
person at the time. Twitter saying that it was ‘fake news’
This Italian favourite isn’t just that spaghetti bolognese originated
popular in the West. According to from his great city. For traditionalists
eater.com, spaghetti bolognese is a like Merola, what incenses them
most about spaghetti bolognese is not be served not with spaghetti but with
so much the meat sauce but the its fatter cousins tagliatelle, fettucci-
thickness (or rather thinness) of the ne and pappardelle, as it is when
pasta. They believe the sauce should cooking ragù alla Bolognese.
SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE
Ingredients 3. Add mince and Reserve a little of the
• 2 tbsp olive oil brown, stirring to break cooking water when
• 1 tbsp butter it up. draining. Place pasta
• 1 onion, finely
chopped
4. Add tomato paste
and red wine and stir,
back in saucepan.
8. Try meat sauce and
• 2 garlic cloves, finely
chopped
scraping off any food
that’s stuck to the base.
adjust seasoning.
Remove rosemary.
• 1 carrot, grated 5. Add tomatoes, stock, 9. Add the bolognese
• 1 stick celery, finely
chopped
rosemary sprig and a
pinch of salt.
sauce to the pasta,
adding a little of the
• 150g pancetta,
cubed
6. Turn down heat to
low and simmer, with lid
reserved pasta water if
needed.
• 500g beef and pork
mince
on, for about an hour.
7. About half way
10. Serve in large bowls
and sprinkle with
• Sprig of rosemary,
optional
through cooking, place
a large saucepan of
parmesan cheese.
• 1 tbsp tomato paste water on to boil and

• 100ml red wine cook spaghetti as per
• 400g tin tomatoes packet instructions
• 200ml beef stock or until al dente.
• Pinch of salt
• 500g pasta of choice
• Grated parmesan
Method
1. Add oil and butter to
a large saucepan on
medium heat.
2. Add onion, garlic,

celery, carrot and
pancetta. Stir until
onion becomes
translucent (2-3 mins).
58 september 2022
2
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TECHNOLOGY
60 september 2022
ROBOTS
GONE
WILD!
What happens when you build a
machine to do a job just like a human?
It screws up – just like a human
BY Andy Simmons
I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y R I C H A R D B O R G E
ROBOTS REALLY ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD.

They’re writing novels – the first was 1 The Road published in 2018,
a cyborg’s homage to Jack Kerouac’s On The Road. And they’re making
lunch: a robot that can make 2000 burgers a day is being tried out by
US restaurant chain CaliBurger. What human can compete – especial-
ly given that androids don’t complain or ask for a pay rise? But we are
quickly learning that there is another side of robotkind, one that’s all
too human. Here’s a by-no-means-complete list of failed attempts by
automatons to replace us flesh-and-bone types.
WORST HOTEL Barbara, California. You would ex-

SERVICE EVER pect such a large quake to have been
given a lot of media coverage. And it
A few years back, the Henn na Hotel did ... in 1925, when it happened. It
in Nagasaki, Japan, hired 243 robots turns out the report was produced
to cover positions ranging from con- by a computer program called the
cierge to hotel porter. Unfortunately, Quakebot, which generates articles
the check-in robots had trouble an- based on notices from the US Geo-
swering guests’ questions and pho- logical Survey. When a staffer at the
tocopying passports, while porter USGS made an error while updating
robots kept banging into walls and the historical data, the Quakebot
tripping over kerbs. While one in- jumped on it as if it were breaking
room assistant sprang to attention news. Soon, people in Southern
every time a lodger snored, saying, California were alarmed over what
“Sorry, I couldn’t hear that. Could turned out to be a giant error.
you repeat your request?”
Not long after the experiment be- THAT WILL GET YOUR
gan, the hotel ‘fired’ half of the mal- HEART RACING
functioning robots. And they didn’t
get their tips, either. In December 2021, an emergency
dispatcher in Hohenburg, Germany,
STOP THE PRESSES! took a call from a young woman’s
smartwatch. Concerned, the dis-
In 2017, the Los Angeles Times pub- patcher called the woman, but when
lished a story about an earthquake he couldn’t get through to her, he
of 6.8 magnitude that shook Santa asked police to investigate. A short
62 september 2022
Robots Gone Wild
while later, four patrol cars arrived

at the woman’s apartment building.
… AND YOU TOO!
When they knocked on the door, China’s technolog y hasn’t fared
the woman sheepishly admitted much better. Some cities there use
that she and her partner had gotten facial recognition cameras to snap
into a heated argument. Apparent- photos of people illegally crossing
ly her smartwatch had registered the street then display their faces and
an alarming spike in her heart rate names on billboards for the purpose
and automatically placed an emer- of public ridicule. Great idea, until
gency call. “I was really one ‘law-breaker’ in the
embarrassed when the THE CAMERAS city of Ningbo took um-
police turned up,” the
woman, who asked not
CONSTANTLY brage.
She was Dong Ming-
to be identified, said. MISTOOK THE zhu, a local billionaire
“Now I only wear the REFEREE’S BALD whose only ‘crime’ was
watch when I exercise.” HEAD FOR THE appearing on an ad on
the side of a passing
YOU LOOK SOCCER BALL bus when the camera
FAMILIAR snapped her photo. Still,
up on the ‘wall of shame’ she went.
Facial recognition software has one The city’s traffic police admitted the
problem – it can’t always recognise error and quickly removed her from
faces. The American Civil Liberties the system.
Union proved that point when it used
the Amazon Rekognition software EVERYONE GETS
to match mug shots of criminals to
photos of 28 US politicians. But what
A DOLLHOUSE!
about soccer ball recognition? During We’ve all heard of humorous inci-
a match in 2020, Scottish soccer team dents where kids have used their
Inverness Caledonian Thistle FC un- parents’ voice-activated speakers –
veiled AI-programmed video cameras such as Google Home – to order
designed to automatically follow the whatever their heart desired.
ball. One of these incidents oc-
Alas, the cameras constant- curred in the US state of
ly mistook the referee’s bald Dallas, when a six year
head for the soccer ball. old asked A lex a,
One helpful viewer called Amazon’s virtual
the team to suggest giving assista nt, to or-
the ref a toupee. der a dol l house
(and two kilograms of cookies, for WHATEVER YOU DO,

a snack!). A few days later a news
programme reported the whimsical
DON’T ANGER SOPHIA
moment. ‘Sophia’ is a social humanoid robot
But when the news anchor stat- developed by Hanson Robotics of
ed, “I love the little girl saying, ‘Al- Hong Kong. She/it has an attractive
exa ordered me a dollhouse,’” many face, with a square jaw, high cheek-
people watching the TV broadcast bones and impressive eyebrows. And
found that their own Echo devices she can hold a conversation. This is
had heard the statement – and set surely the robot of the future. When
about automatically ordering doll- CEO David Hanson and Sophia ap-
houses for them. peared on the US news net work
64 september 2022
Robots Gone Wild
CNBC, Hanson asked the robot the A RECIPE FOR

question humans have been wonder-
ing about robots for years: “Sophia, do CONFUSION
you want to destroy humans?” With- Janelle Shane, an optics research
out hesitation, Sophia – smiling a tad scientist, wanted to find out whether
too broadly for our taste – responded, artificial intelligence could create a
“OK, I will destroy humans.” menu that didn’t taste, well, artificial.
Humans, you’ve been warned. So she fed a computer 30,000 cook-
book recipes and programmed it to
THE OPPOSITE create its own recipes.
OF CLEANING The result: something called ‘Beo-
thurtreed Tuna Pie’. Want to make it?
What’s the worst a robot- Here is the recipe:
ic vacuum cleaner can SOPHIA 1 h ard cook ed apple
do? Let Jesse Newton fill
you in. One night his new
THE ROBOT mayonnaise
5 cup lumps, thinly sliced
puppy pooped on the RESPONDED, Once you have your ap-
floor sometime before “OKAY, I ple mayo and lumps,
1.30am, while he and his
wife were asleep. How did
WILL DESTROY “surround with 1½ dozen
heavy water by high, and
Newton come up with HUMANS” drain and cut into ¼ inch
that particular time? “Our remaining the skillet.”
Roomba runs at 1.30am every night,” Another specialty was ‘Tart Cover
he noted online a week later. “And it Shrimp Butter Wol’, featuring:
found the poop.” And so it began: The 1 can fried pale fruit to cover that
robot vacuum spread the puppy’s drain. All out of fried pale fruit? You
load throughout the house, decorat- probably have some rice, though
ing floorboards, furniture legs and you’ve probably never used 1 cup
rugs, “resulting in a home that close- grated white rice, as listed in another
ly resembles a Jackson Pollock poop recipe. Clearly, Jamie Oliver can
painting,” as Newton described it. sleep easy.
Grandchild Or Else!
A retired couple from India is suing their son and daughter-in-law,
demanding they produce a grandchild within a year or pay them
50 million rupees (US$675,000). The aggrieved parents, who spent
lavishly on their son’s and daughter-in-law’s wedding, have been
waiting for six years for a grandchild ‘in return’. AP
LAUGHTER
The Best Medicine
I ask why you only want to

look at cheap pyramids?”
“We want to get our
mummy’s worth,” replies
King Shaa-em-uas.
www.theclose.com
Missing Numbers
My neighbour’s house
doesn’t have any numbers
on its door or postbox. I just
feel like that’s something that
needs to be addressed.
CHRIS SCHMIDT, COMEDIAN
Getting A Raise
I told my boss that three
companies were after me
and I needed a raise to stay
at my job. We haggled for a few
Pyramid Scheme minutes and then he gave me
Two pharaohs in Ancient Egypt are a ten per cent raise.
looking for a new pyramid, so they As I left his office, he asked me,
contact a local real estate agent. “By the way, which companies are
“We want the cheapest pyramid after you?”
you have,” says King Res-sen-ba. I responded, “The gas, electricity
CARTOON: DAVE BL A ZEK
Sensing his commission getting and phone company.” Seen online

smaller, the real estate agent says:
“Most of my esteemed pharaoh In A Small Way
clients desire the most luxurious A panic-stricken man explained to
pyramids since they are guaranteed his doctor, “You have to help me, I
to last for 3000 years or more. Can think I’m shrinking.”
66 september 2022
Laughter
“Now settle down,” the doctor

calmly told him. DON’T WORRY, BE HOPPY!
“You’ll just have to learn to be a
little patient.” WWW.MENSHEALTH.COM
Blame Game
My therapist says that I have a
tendency to blame my problems on
others. Which I’m pretty sure I get
from my dad.
WILLIAM STONE, VIA FACEBOOK
Heir Apparent A man asks the waiter, “Do you

DAD: Did you get a haircut? serve frogs in this restaurant?”
SON: Nope, I got them all cut. The waiter replies,
Onyou.com.au “Of course we do, Monsieur.”
Then the man takes a frog
Works Well out of his pocket and says,
My boss asked me why I only get sick “Good, my frog wants
on work days. I said it must be my some soup!”
weekend immune system. www.frog.cc
@Dadsaysjokes
What did the frog order
Fortune Telling? at McDonald’s?
Here’s something to think about: French flies and a diet croak.
how come you never see a headline What type of shoe do
like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
frogs wear?
JAY LENO, T V HOST
Open-toad sandals.
What kind of music do
sophisticated frogs listen to?
ILLUSTR ATIONS: GET T Y IMAGES
Hoppera.
mypunnybone.com
68 september 2022
SEE Turn
THEtheWORLD...
page ››
...DIFFERENTLY
FOR DECADES the former

Church of Santa Barbara in the
northern Spanish municipality
of Llanera stood empty. The
building began to fall into
disrepair. Then an enthusiastic
skateboarder had the idea of
turning the abandoned church
into an indoor skate park.
That‘s how the Kaos Temple
was born. The kaleidoscopic
murals were contributed
by street artist Okuda San
Miguel. According to him, they
preserve the spirituality of the
place and at the same time fill
it with colour and joie de vivre.
PHOTOS: CESAR MANSO/AFP
VIA GET T Y IMAGES
70 september 2022
HUMOUR
Millennials,
Where Are Your Manners?
BY Patricia Pearson
R
ecently, I was standing at a the waiting pedestrians called out to
city intersection with a gag- warn her, and she swung her head
gle of others, waiting patient- around and snapped in our direction:
ILLUS TR ATION: SAM ISL AND
ly for the light to turn green “Do you mind? I’m on the phone.” For
so that we chickens could cross the a moment, we all blinked in surprise,
road. Suddenly, a young woman and then we started laughing.
chatting on her phone bounced past I believe military tacticians would
us all and stepped into the intersec- refer to the woman’s behaviour
tion just as a car came along. One of as showing a ‘lack of situational
72 september 2022
awareness’. My cat attempting to walk cent of millennials wouldn’t offer their
across the stove when I’m cooking seat on public transport to someone
would be another example. Or some- who is elderly or pregnant. Amazingly,
one ambling backwards towards a cliff they admitted this to the researchers,
edge while taking a selfie. But here, apparently without shame. More than
might I suggest we have a lack of so- 80 per cent think that holding a door
cial awareness as well? Who, exactly, open for someone, or saying “please”
is the one who should ‘mind’? Is it the and “thank you” is old-fashioned.
huddled pedestrians who dared in- They are divided as to whether it is or
terrupt this person’s call to point out isn’t rude to ignore people on social
that she was obliviously media.
storming into traffic? Or THEY WILL I can tell I am deal-
is it the young lady? STEP ON YOUR ing with a millennial at
I know it’s a bit of a work when they don’t
sport to complain about
FEET AND ret u r n my em a i l or
how rude people have THEN GET MAD phone call, even though
become, but the more I AT YOU FOR they might have initi-
think about it, the more EXISTING IN ated the interaction. Or
it strikes me that the we can be in the midst
problem with modern
THEIR SPACE of setting up a time for
manners is precisely a meet i ng, w it h one
this kind of obliviousness. Millenni- person proposing X day and anoth-
als – that age group roughly between er suggesting Y, and then ... for no
25 and 40 – will step on your feet and apparent reason ... 700 years of total
then get mad at you for existing in silence go by. It’s as if you’re a ghost
their space. outside the window, waving your
Once upon a time, social awareness arms in futility. Hell-ooooo?
was a given. Superficial niceties like You begin to wonder if you dreamed
saying “Good morning” or waving to the whole exchange. Or you start
neighbours were gestures of goodwill thinking maybe the person has a brain
that kept us aware of one another in injury and completely forgot they
public as fellow human beings, with- were conversing. Should you alert
out committing too much. their family?
But now, some members of the But no, because these are mostly
younger generations wouldn’t recog- young people I speak of. Alert, vi-
nise you as a human if you stood up brant, healthy young people who will
in their soup. They’d probably think ask you a question and then literally
you were an eco-friendly spoon. lose interest in listening to your re-
A 2019 UK study found that 42 per sponse within a nanosecond. “Would
you like a receipt?” a young shop as- nice day is like dangling your feet in a
sistant might ask me. “Yes, please,” I pool of sharks. But that just means we
will say. And then she will hand me have all been experiencing the dis-
the bag with no receipt. Never mind connect between real, three-dimen-
a “thank you for your business”. sional space and the virtual space
This inability to keep a conversation that seems to have stripped the new
going by email or listen to what others generation of manners.
just said reminds me of We can find our way
sleep-walking. MY DAUGHTER back to small acts of
I was recently at a spa GOT A kindness. Maybe it just
with my friend Sheila, MESSAGE FROM takes a new shape. My
and the person prepar- millennial daughter,
ing our menu asked
A DOG NAMED Clara, lost her handbag
about food allergies. PEE WEE THAT a few weeks ago. She was
Sheila said she was al- HER HANDBAG crestfallen – until she re-
lergic to blue cheese WAS FOUND ceived a message from
(it contains the same an Instagram account
allergen as penicillin). belonging to a chihua-
But the 20-something woman who hua named Pee Wee. I am not making
was apparently off in the clouds wrote this up. Pee Wee’s owner had found
down “coeliac disease” and delivered Clara’s handbag and wanted to return
Sheila a plate of gluten-free muffins it. She left it on Clara’s porch, so the
that tasted like damp hay. When we two women never met. Instead, they
tried to correct the misunderstand- traded virtual kindnesses: Clara, in
ing, the staffer, reaching new heights her return message, offered to let Pee
of inattention, added ‘blue cheese’ Wee wear the earring that was in her
to ‘coeliac disease’. Sheila was forced handbag as a brooch on his dog coat.
onto a low-carb diet until we left. Now, there’s a photo of that in cy-
I say all of this without even men- berspace. And I’ll take it as a sign of
tioning the troll-like nastiness of so- good manners. Maybe some of the
cial media, where wishing people a etiquette has gone online.
Now That’s Horsepower

After fuel prices soared following the Russian invasion of Ukraine,
Stephanie Kirchner switched to real horsepower for her six-
kilometre commute to work. Leaving her SUV at home, the
33 year old from Germany now jumps in a horse-drawn carriage. AP
74 september 2022
What we Sleep like a baby?
do is more No, thanks. I want to
important than sleep like a teenager.
what we say or They sleep for
what we say 12 hours and still
we believe. take a nap.
BELL HOOKS, AUTHOR AISHA ALFA, COMEDIAN
If you are To those wondering about giving

neutral in while living: try it. You’ll like it.
situations of CHUCK FEENEY, ONE-TIME MULTIBILLIONAIRE WHO GAVE AWAY
HIS ENTIRE US$8 BILLION FORTUNE DURING HIS LIFETIME
injustice, you
have chosen
the side of the Fear of looking
oppressor. stupid is the
DESMOND TUTU,
No. 1 killer of
ARCHBISHOP AND HUMAN dreams. The
RIGHTS CAMPAIGNER
worst part?
The people
who make you
feel stupid are SMALL
usually the ones OPPORTUNITIES
least qualified to ARE OFTEN THE
PHOTOS: GET T Y IMAGES
judge someone BEGINNING OF

else’s life. GREAT ENTERPRISES.
ANTHONY MOORE, DEMOSTHENES,
MUSICAL COMPOSER ANCIENT GREEK STATESMAN
76 september 2022
HEALTH
CAROL HEFFERNAN, a 43-year-old

If you feel marketing writer, regularly felt worn
exhausted all day, out from her busy life of working,
shuttling her two young kids to school
the solution isn’t and play dates, and taking care of
housework. But when COVID-19 hit
always more sleep and the kids were suddenly at home
all day, learning remotely, she noticed
BY Vanessa Milne
that her run-of-the-mill weariness
quickly turned into full-on exhaustion.
I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y “All the extra responsibility and the
CHANELLE NIBBELINK mental load – it just added up,” she
says. “I felt grumpy and tired – and it parts of your cells that provide energy
wasn’t due to lack of sleep.” to your muscles) actually grow more
Heffernan didn’t have any time in powerful and numerous after aero-
the day to exercise off her stress. She bic exercise, providing a continuous
was short on energy, and she started source of increased energy.
becoming short with her kids. “After
I put them to bed at 8pm, I would just YOU’RE PUSHING YOURSELF
crash on the couch,” she says. TOO HARD
If there’s one thing many of us
have in common, it’s that we’re tired. People who feel overcommitted –
In fact, lethargy is so pervasive that whether from volunteering for one
it’s one of the issues people ask their too many causes or shouldering too
doctors about the most. Doctors even much at work or at home – often try
have a name for it: ‘tired all the time’, to squeeze in more tasks. But it might
or TATT for short. The solution isn’t be wiser to take a break.
always as simple as getting more “When it comes to optimising ener-
sleep; nearly a quarter of people who gy over the long haul, it’s about get-
get seven or more hours of rest a night ting into a rhythm of periods of exer-
report they still wake up feeling tired tion and rest,” says Dane Jensen, CEO
most days of the week. of Third Factor, an organisation that
Here are eight reasons why your helps companies’ employees perform
energy might be low – and what you better under pressure. “In fact, to stay
can do to bring it back. energised over the course of the day,
you need a 15- to 20-minute break
YOU SPEND TOO MUCH every 90 minutes.”
TIME ON THE COUCH Not all downtime is equal: a 2016
study looked at office workers in
When you’re feeling sluggish, it South Korea and found that those who
can be tempting to plop down and looked at their phones during breaks
binge-watch TV. But doing something were significantly less recharged than
active will actually give you more those who went for a walk or chatted
energy, not consume the little that with friends. Jensen suggests choos-
you have. In fact, researchers at the ing breaks from work that balance
University of Georgia found that just out what’s taxing you. If you’ve been
ten minutes of low- or moderate- working at a computer, take a walk
intensity exercise gave study partici- outside. If you’ve been doing spring
pants a noticeable energy boost. cleaning, sit down and call a friend.
Exercise also works its magic at the Jensen also suggests considering
cellular level: the mitochondria (the four categories of breaks, based on
78 september 2022
Why Am I So Tired?
how they can benefit you: physical stress-hormone levels in your body.
(walking or stretching); cognitive Dr Vincent Agyapong, a profes-
(crossword puzzles or Sudoku); emo- sor of psychiatry and global mental
tional (phoning a loved one); and health, says that his research has
spiritual (walking in the woods or demonstrated that nurturing rela-
practising a religion). tionships is a mood booster. “Main-
taining social contacts is one of
YOU’RE ANXIOUS the ways to maintain your mental
health,” he says. “It doesn’t neces-
Anxiety is draining. When you’re sarily have to be face to face – it can
distressed, your body is on high alert be via social media, telephone call or
and produces adren- video conference.”
a l i ne. You r muscles
might tighten up, and
THE PILE-UP OF All that said, if you
think you might have
your brain shifts into GLOBAL CRISES clinical levels of anx-
overdrive to try to work IS HAVING AN iet y – for example, if
t hrough a ll possible
scenarios. That all takes
EFFECT ON you’re hav i ng pa n ic
attacks or completely
energy – and will leave PEOPLE’S MENTAL avoiding doing every-
you feeling tired. HEALTH – AND day tasks – spea k to
And, the pile-up of
global crises – natural
ENERGY LEVELS your doctor about ther-
apy or medication.
disasters, the pandemic
and the war in Ukraine being the most YOU’RE LOW
notable – is having a measurable effect ON VITAMINS
on many people’s mental health. One
study published in the British Journal Fatigue is often connected to not hav-
Of Psychology found that participants ing enough of two key nutrients, says
who watched a negative news bulletin Dr Lin: iron and B vitamins. When you
were more likely to feel anxious or sad don’t get enough iron in your diet, it
than those who watched a neutral or can lead to iron-deficiency anaemia,
positive one – and then they felt worse which means your body doesn’t pro-
about their personal problems. duce enough healthy red blood cells.
One antidote to all the bad news is “When there are not enough red
cultivating your friendships. Scien- blood cells around, less oxygen gets
tists have long known that socialis- carried to the cells to allow them to
ing decreases the risk of developing generate energy, which causes fa-
mental-health issues like depression, tigue,” says Dr Lin.
and avoiding loneliness also lowers Having a B-vitamin deficiency,
especially B12, also affects energy according to the World Health Organ-
levels, since vitamin B12 is anoth- ization (WHO).
er key to creating enough red blood “It’s expected that so much fear and
cells. Since iron and vitamin B are uncertainty will increase people’s lev-
commonly absorbed from red meat els of stress, anxiety and depression,”
and shellfish, people who follow a says Dr Agyapong. “With how long the
vegetarian or vegan diet are at more pandemic is going on, it’s becoming
risk. But anaemia can also occur dur- pathological for a lot of people.”
ing pregnancy or stem from gastro- Other symptoms of depression in-
intestinal problems, such as ulcers clude loss of appetite and irritability.
or Crohn’s disease. These and other If you’re feeling tired all the time and
less common vitamin and miner- suspect depression might be to blame,
al deficiencies can all be identified ask your doctor for a mental-health
with a blood test and treated with screening. Talk therapy can help, as
supplements and a change in diet. can antidepressants.
Dr Lin warns, however, that supple-
ments and drinks that are advertised YOU’RE EATING AN
as energy enhancers can be danger- UNBALANCED DIET
ous. “A lot of those ‘energy’ supple-
ments are laced with caffeine, ginseng We often think about how our diet
or other stimulants at a high dose,” she affects our weight, but what you eat
says. She also cautions that they can has a large effect on your energ y
cause serious side effects, like heart levels, too. When your body digests
palpitations, insomnia and anxiety. food, it turns it into glucose, which
is then sent by way of your blood to
YOU’RE DEPRESSED all of your muscles and organs, in-
cluding your brain. Our blood sugar
If you’re feeling excessively fatigued naturally fluctuates during this pro-
– dragging yourself through the nor- cess, and when it’s low, we can feel
mal tasks of daily living, or are unable sluggish.
to complete them – it could be a sign A simple way to keep your blood
that you’ve slipped into depression. sugar consistent is to eat regularly.
Some people are genetically pre- “If you go more than several hours
disposed to the condition, and oth- without a meal or snack, that’s prob-
ers develop it as a result of difficult ably too long of a stretch,” says dieti-
circumstances. In the first year of the tian Cara Harbstreet.
COVID-19 pandemic, global prev- Another common error, Harbstreet
alence of anxiety and depression says, is eating too many simple car-
increased by a massive 25 per cent, bohydrates – juice, chocolate bars
80 september 2022
Why Am I So Tired?
your breath for

four seconds, then
slowly exhaling for
four seconds.
4 Chew gum
Though it’s not
exactly clear why,
numerous studies have
shown that chewing
60-SECOND FIXES (sugar-free) gum
Boost your energy in a minute or less increases alertness.
Even before science
1 Drink suppress melatonin, the confirmed it, during
peppermint tea chemical in your body WWI, American soldiers
According to that makes you sleepy. were issued gum to help
researchers, people them focus.
who drink peppermint 3 Take deep breaths
tea are more alert When you’re stressed, 5 Sing a song
and complete mental it’s natural to breathe Listening to music can
tasks faster. shallowly, which can increase levels of happy
decrease the amount of chemicals like serotonin
2 Open the blinds oxygen that reaches and oxytocin – and
Exposing yourself to your cells. To counteract belting out lyrics makes
natural sunlight, that, try breathing in you breathe deeper and
especially when you through your nose for take in more oxygen,
wake up, can help four seconds, holding boosting your energy.
or white bread. Those can lead to an Instead, reach for complex carbs
increase in blood sugar, prompting – like whole grains and non-starchy
your body to produce insulin, which vegetables – which are more slowly di-
then makes your blood sugar drop. gested than simple carbs, giving you a
“You get an energy spike and then steady stream of energy. To make sure
you come crashing down and eat you’re getting enough nutrients to fuel
more of the same kinds of foods,” she your body, Harbstreet recommends
explains. “And that cycle can repeat trying to eat three food groups at every
indefinitely.” meal and at least two at snack time.
YOU’RE NOT BREATHING includes tiredness as a symptom.

WELL AT NIGHT The condition is caused when your
thyroid, a butterf ly-shaped gland
If you’ve been unusually tired for inside your neck, produces too few
more than a month, ask your doc- hormones.
tor if an underlying problem could “Thyroid hormones control your
be behind it. metabolism, which is like the en-
One com mon c u lpr it is sleep g i ne i n you r ca r,” says Dr L i n.
apnoea, a condition t hat causes “W hen your engine runs too low,
breathing to start and stop through- the car drives too slowly.”
out t he n ig ht. In New Zea la nd, Along with fatigue, hypothyroid-
sleep apnoea is estimated to affect ism may also result in weight gain,
at least four per cent of men and at slow movement and speech, and
least two per cent of women. It can sensitivity to cold. The condition
occur at any age but is most com- is most common in women over 60
mon in middle-aged males. and can be treated by taking a med-
Since sleep apnoea causes suffer- ication that contains either natural
ers to rouse multiple times a night or synthetic thyroid chemicals.
to keep breathing – often without
even k now ing it – they don’t get A FEW WEEKS AFTER HER FATIGUE
enough deep sleep. The condition, set in, Heffernan knew she need-
which often comes with daytime ed to do something to feel better.
ex haustion and night-time snor- Fina l ly, one day she decided to
ing, can also lead to other issues, drop everything and go for a walk
including cardiovascular disease – something she hadn’t done since
and diabetes. the pandemic began.
If diagnosed, sleep apnoea can be “I just wanted to be by myself,”
treated with a machine that push- she says. “I needed a break.” When
es pressurised air into your nose she returned, she felt recharged and
or mouth during the night to make decided to make a habit of it.
sure your airways stay open. “Going for a 45-minute walk real-
ly feeds me, spiritually, emotionally
YOUR THYROID and physically,” she says. “I have
IS STRAINED something to look forward to every
afternoon. I’m in a better mood.
A not her u nderly i ng problem to And after putting the kids to bed, I
watch out for is hypothyroidism, have the energy to stay up, talk to
which affects about five per cent of my husband and have some more
the population and almost always time for myself.”
82 september 2022
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TELL ME WHY...
Dog Noses Are Wet?

Turns out, there is more than one reason
BY Jen McCaffery
D
ogs have wet noses for sev- dryer. However, the dryness could also
eral important reasons, says indicate that your canine is dehydrat-
veterinarian Dr Pete Lands. ed, Dr Land says. So be sure your dog
First, dogs’ noses secrete gets plenty of water.
mucus, which helps t hem t rack If the dryness is chronic, it could
smells in the air. “One of the reasons also be a sign that your dog may have
that the nose is going to be wet is be- a skin disease or point to overall poor
cause the secretion will come out of health, Dr Lands says.
the inner part of the nose and sit on It’s important to keep an eye on
the top of the nose,” Lands says. your dog’s nose, since it’s such a big
Another reason? Dogs don’t sweat part of how they function. Dogs have
like humans. Their noses act as a cool- about 100 million sensory receptors
ing mechanism and evaporating fluid in their nose, compared to five or
from them helps cool their bodies. six million in humans. “It really is a
Third, you’ve often seen dogs lick- powerful organ,” Dr Lands says.
ing their noses. Dogs are lower down
to the ground and pick up all kinds of
dirt and pollen. They lick their nos-
es to fully experience the scent, but
also to clean them, Dr Lands says.
So that moisture you see likely in-
cludes some saliva.
Finally, the wetness could come
directly from what dogs are smelling
outside, such as leaves, puddles or
the morning grass.
While a wet nose is a healthy

sign, a dry nose isn’t necessari-
ly cause for worry. As dogs age,
their noses typically become a bit
84 september 2022
THIS GREEN TREE FROG has
taken a seat in a canna plant.
With a little luck, no predator
will discover him here. Many of
these amphibians, mainly
native to the southeastern US,
are only a couple of centimetres
long and make tasty appetisers
for snakes, lizards and birds.
PHOTO: GE T T Y IMAGES/JEFF R CLOW
86 september 2022
PHOTO FEATURE
Some animals
are masters at
merging with their
environment
BY Doris Kochanek
WHAT CAN BE SEEN SWIMMING off the coasts of Western and South
Australia is not a plant, but a ‘weedy sea dragon’. A marine fish related to
seahorses, these creatures grow up to 35 centimetres long and, among kelp,
‘weedies’ are hardly recognisable as animals. Their colour varies depending
on the depth of the water; the deeper they live, the darker they are.
BIRDS that lay their

eggs in nests on the
ground run the risk of
losing them to
predators. To protect
their roost, golden
plovers do not rely
solely on their eggs’
camouflage. If an
enemy comes close,
one of the birds will
draw attention to
itself and lure the
intruder away.
88 september 2022
Just Blending In
PHOTOS, CLOCK WISE FROM LEF T: GET T Y IMAGES/WIT TE-ART_ DE; GE T T Y IMAGES/ROSEMARY CALVERT; ROLF
NUSSBAUMER PHOTOGR APHY/AL AMY S TOCK PHOTO; PICTURE ALLIANCE/BLICK WINKEL/W. PAT T YN
IT’S HARD TO TELL where the canine ends and the carpet begins. This fluffy
dog is a male Coton de Tuléar. The breed, with cottony-soft fur, originates
from Madagascar, where it is said to have been favoured by royalty. This
breed of small dog is particularly friendly and playful.
WOE TO THE ANIMAL that gets too close to this Mississippi alligator covered
in duckweed. Although adults can weigh up to 450 kilograms, they are able
to move at lightning speed. Mississippi alligators live in wetlands, lakes and
slow-moving waters across the southeastern US.
UNSURPRISINGLY, this insect found in the Philippines, the Phyllium

philippinicum, is also known as a ‘walking leaf’. During the day they sit quietly on
the plant they call home, which they also happen to strongly resemble. At night
the males leave the security of this disguise and swarm out in search of a mate.
HARDLY
DISTINGUISHABLE from
its home is the dwarf
seahorse, Hippocampus
bargibanti, found in the
Western Pacific. These
creatures, which are
about two centimetres
long, live in small
groups on Gorgonian
[soft] corals, whose
colour they take on.
They were discovered in
1969 by scientist
Georges Bargibant.
90 september 2022
PHOTOS, CLOCK WISE FROM LEF T: GET T Y IMAGES/GIORDANO CIPRIANI; GET T Y IMAGES/MEGAN LORENZ; GET T Y IMAGES/SOMNUK KROBKUM
Just Blending In
IF A SCREECH OWL
remains motionless, it
is almost invisible on
the bark of a tree. About
25 species of these
medium-sized birds
inhabit the Americas. At
dusk and at night, they
prey on insects, lizards,
frogs and other small
animals. But these owls
do not actually screech.
Their calls are more like
warbles or hoots,
depending on the
species.
Like Father,
Like Son
Going strong:
Public Enemy was
formed in 1985
92 september 2022
FATHER’S DAY SPECIAL
A teenager’s newfound enthusiasm for a rap group

helps his father relive cherished memories
BY James Brown
I
t’s 11.45 on a Saturday night and Even before I’d met them, I’d re-
I’m waiting for my 14-year-old son viewed their debut album Yo! Bum
Marlais to come back from his first Rush The Show (1987) and absolute-
gig. He’s been to see the legendary ly loved it. A new sound using old
rap group Public Enemy, playing sounds – an album that originated
at the Roundhouse in London. from radio station jingles, raps and
He’s been to festivals with me, a call to arms. They were, like my
hung around in Oasis’ dressing room, namesake James Brown (the Godfa-
and watched the New York Dolls from ther of Soul), cleverly playing with The
the side of the stage when he was lit- Clash’s political sensibility.
tle. But this is the first time he’s gone It sort of amused me that Marlais
with a friend, even though his friend’s was going to see them. He’s 14 and
dad went, too. I’d have liked to have I’m 49, but here was something he’d
gone myself, but my mate sorting the discovered himself that I’d enjoyed
tickets had gone off to Glastonbury decades ago. There’s a whole genera-
and – rather unsurprisingly – it was tion of kids learning about the icons
impossible to get hold of him. of rap from each other – not from
Never mind, I told myself. I actu- their parents.
ally interviewed Public Enemy three Just as I’m about to call his friend’s
times early on in their career, when I dad, I hear the gate hitting the bins
was working for New Musical Express. and see them coming up the steps. I
One meeting was in Switzerland, an- open the door, say thanks to the other
other in London and a third in San adult for taking them, and notice how
Diego. I particularly remember that enthusiastic Marlais is in saying thank
last time because I was knocked to you and goodbye to his friend Finn. I
the floor from the front row of seats close the door and ask the all-impor-
– a hapless victim of the screaming tant question, “How was it?”
teenage girls running to get hold of the The look in his eyes says it all. Posi-
band’s arch-prankster and timekeeper tively beaming, he catches his breath
Flavor Flav. before saying, “It was amazing. We
left Finn’s dad up in the balcony and RELIVING MY YOUTH

went downstairs, and told security One of the early joys of parenthood
our dad was inside and had our tick- was realising I could once again
ets. Then we went right down to the walk through my own childhood as
front. Flavor Flav jumped down and my first son discovered water pis-
high-fived me!” tols, tabletop football and match-
I see in an instant that he’s just re- box cars. In fact, there are so many
alised there’s a whole different world opportunities to revisit where – or
out there to the one he’s experienced what – you’ve been before, but it
already. There’s no holding back hadn’t occurred to me that my eld-
when Public Enemy play live – it’s est son would make his own tracks
bomb dropping, scratching, beats through a world I’d also adored.
and rap that just carry you along. It’s Skateboarding and computer games
truly inspirational. For a moment, I were his last big interests, and they
see the light in his eyes, and I recall seem to be as permanent as playing
the total and utter excitement I used soccer in the street was for me. So to
to feel at live gigs when I was his age. see this sudden enthusiasm for live
Somewhere I’ll still have the tick- music knocked me over. And I’m
ets for concerts by The Jam, The happy about that.
Ramones, Chuck Brown & The Soul You never know what will happen
Searchers ... not to mention the to your kids, but you hope they’ll
fledgling U2 and Depeche Mode. As achieve all they are capable of and
a teenager, the process was what I have fun along the way. At present,
loved most of all: getting my ticket, t he rules, boundaries and basic
waiting for the day, getting down to behaviour requirements of school
the venue – usually Leeds University seem beyond Marlais for a whole
Refectory or The Warehouse – wait- week at a time, so maybe something
ing through the support act and then else will help direct him to where
getting down the front, squashed in he’s meant to be.
tight by leather jackets. Yesterday we walked into a book-
I’d come alive when the main act shop and he asked for The Catcher In
came on. The Rye. “A teacher told me to read
An hour and a half of mayhem it,” he said. Just 24 hours later, he’s
would follow – relentless, pounding almost finished it.
music and the most vigorous thrash- Like father, like son – bands, gigs
ing around I could endure. By the end and the spirit guide of J.D. Salinger
my clothes would be totally soaking are the life blood of young manhood.
and the ringing in my ears wouldn’t I can’t wait for all the great books and
stop until the next day. beats that lie ahead.
94 september 2022
HEALTH
Why you shouldn’t soak a splinter,

and other ways immediate
care has changed
BY Stacey Colino ILLUSTRATIONS BY Nien-Ken Alec Lu
FROM THE WA SHINGTON POS T
96 september 2022
pring is upon us, which means we’re making
S the most of barbecues, picnics and other

outdoor fun. That’s all good, but it also means
we’re at increased risk for mishaps. When it
comes to treating injuries, the strategies our parents
used may no longer be the right things to do. In some
cases, folk tales have been debunked; in others,
doctors have found better treatments.
“As we learn new t hings from YOU BURNT YOURSELF

science, the guidelines change – and WHILE BARBECUING
that’s happening with first aid. We Place the burnt area under cool run-
now have better evidence of what ning water for at least 20 minutes to
works,” says Dr Sean McGann, from calm the pain and stop damage to the
the American College of Emergency skin. “A lot of people don’t realise the
Physicians. thermal damage is continuing even
If your first-aid techniques aren’t after they’re no longer in contact with
on target, you could end up exacer- the source of the burn,” says Dr Matt
bating an injury. Wilson, an emergency medicine
In a study published in
the journal Pediatric Emer-
gency Care, 654 adults took
a multiple-choice test on
re c om mende d f i r s t-a id
skills and not one person
answered ever y question
correctly. In addition, only
half of the adults were fa-
miliar with 60 per cent of
the questions.
It shouldn’t be that way.
To make sure you’re up to
speed on the latest in first
aid, here are some dos and
don’ts for various situa-
tions.
98 september 2022
The New First-Aid Rules
specia list. “Cooling t hat

area immediately is the key
to limiting the damage.”
A 2020 study published
in the Annals Of Emergency
Medicine found that treat-
ing burns with cool running
water for 20 minutes was
associated with a decreased
depth to the burn and signif-
icantly lower odds of need-
ing a skin graft to repair the
damaged skin. If you aren’t
near a source of clean water,
use a cold compress, such as
ice wrapped in a towel.
After cooling the burn, pat it dry. YOU GOT A SPLINTER
You can take ibuprofen to reduce WALKING BAREFOOT
discomfort and apply an antibiotic Grab clean tweezers or splinter for-
ointment, which can help moisturise ceps and gently but firmly pull the
the area, says emergency medicine splinter out. “Make sure all of it is re-
specialist Dr Michael Carius. moved, otherwise it becomes a source
for possible infection,” says Daniel
Don’t apply butter, egg white or vi- Bachmann, an associate professor of
tamin E to a burn because they could emergency medicine.
introduce contaminants or irritate the Then, wash the area with soap and
raw skin, Dr Wilson warns. water and keep it clean.
Applying ice directly to a burn can
lead to more tissue damage. Don’t soak the splinter in water. This
A nd i f a bl ister for ms on t he makes the wood more susceptible to
burn, don’t pop it, because that breaking apart under the skin and less
bubble of skin provides a barrier likely to come out as a single piece,
that helps prevent infection. If it Dr Carius says.
pops naturally, apply an antibiotic
ointment and a clean bandage. Seek medical attention if you can’t
get it out on your own; consider going
Seek medical attention if you sus- to a medical centre.
pect it’s a deep burn because the skin “The splinter has to come out, be-
looks angry (like raw meat) or waxy. cause it’s almost certainly going to
foreign body embedded in the

cut, or if it’s longer or deeper
than six centimetres.
Keep in mind: timing matters.
“A lot of doctors won’t close a
wound after 24 hours because of
the risk of infection,” Dr Carius
says. Instead they may monitor
it until they are sure that there is
no bacteria trapped inside.
YOUR NOSE STARTS

BLEEDING PROFUSELY
Place a towel or a wad of tissues
under your nostrils, and apply
pressure by pinching the nose
become infected if it stays under the tightly, just below the nasal bone, for
skin,” Dr Carius says. 10 to 15 minutes straight.
“Don’t keep checking to see if the
YOU TRIPPED AND CUT bleeding has stopped,” Dr Wilson
YOURSELF says. Lean your head forwards to
Wash the cut with soap and water, prevent the blood from going down
making sure all dirt is removed, then your throat and into your stomach,
apply pressure to the wound, using a which could trigger nausea.
clean towel, to stop the bleeding.
Apply an antibiotic ointment, which Don’t leave the tissue in your nose to
keeps the wound moist and facilitates block blood flow, because “this could
healing, and cover the cut for 48 hours introduce a source for infection or
to prevent infection, Dr McGann says. make the situation worse,” Dr Bach-
mann says. Also, avoid vigorously
Don’t use hydrogen peroxide to clean blowing your nose for a few hours,
the wound. “In addition to being pain- so you don’t restart the bleeding.
ful, applying peroxide can actually
damage healthy tissue and slow down Seek medical attention if you can’t
the healing process,” Dr McGann says. stop the bleeding with nonstop pres-
sure after 15 minutes. If you have a
Seek medical attention at the nearest bleeding disorder or you’re taking
emergency department if the wound anticoagulant drugs, it may be hard-
is gaping or very dirty, if there’s a er to stem the bleeding. If you can’t
100 september 2022

The New First-Aid Rules
stop it, go to the emergency depart- SOMEONE IS HAVING A

ment, Dr McGann advises. SEIZURE
Call an ambulance, then clear the
YOU TWISTED YOUR area around the person so they won’t
ANKLE hit something. “The most important
Elevate the ankle above your heart thing is to protect the person from
and apply cold or ice packs – or a bag being injured while they are having
of frozen peas – for 10 to 15 minutes a seizure,” Dr Bachmann says.
at a time, every two to three hours, to If possible, help the person get on
reduce swelling, advises Dr Carius. the ground and turn them on their
Resting the injured joint and taking side so “secretions will leak out of
an anti-inflammatory can help ease the mouth and not into the airway,”
inflammation and pain. “The goal is Dr McGann says.
to keep the swelling down, because
that’s what causes most of the pain,” Don’t force anything (such as your
he says. (Note: Some experts dispute fingers or a spoon) into the person’s
the benefits of icing a sprain and say mouth to try to prevent them from
if it’s done too long or too intensely, it biting their tongue, Dr Carius warns.
may slow the recovery process.) “That’s one of the more dangerous
things you can do.” Biting down on
Don’t put ice directly on the skin, be- a hard object like a spoon can cause
cause this could damage it, Dr Wilson the person to chip their teeth or
says. And don’t apply heat in the 48 choke.
hours after the injury, as this can in-
crease swelling – the opposite of what Seek medical attention for anyone
you want. who has a seizure for the first time.
They should be evaluated in an
Seek medical attention if you can’t emergency department so doctors
bear weight on the injured ankle or it can determine the cause and assess
looks misshapen. “Sometimes it’s hard their health and mental status after-
for people to differentiate a sprain wards, Dr Bachmann says.
from something more serious like a THE WASHINGTON POST (JULY 26, 2021),
fracture,” Dr Bachmann says. © 2021 BY THE WASHINGTON POST
Coming Of Age
Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they
grow up because they’re looking for ideas. PAULA PROUDSTONE
ALL IN A DAY’S WORK

Humour On The Job
“May I make a suggestion?”
Counting Sheep stupid animals; when the first two

My granddaughter, a ‘city girl’, got went, the other five followed.”
her first teaching job at a primary SUBMITTED BY JOHN ROBERTS
school in a rural area where the
majority of the pupils lived on farms. The Art Of Doing Nothing
During a maths lesson, she asked Italian artist Salvatore Garau created
CARTOON: DAVE CARPENTER
the class, “If there were seven sheep an artwork that must be seen to be
in a field and someone left the gate believed. Only, you can’t see it. It’s
open, and two sheep escaped, how invisible. Still, that didn’t stop Garau
many would be left?” from successfully selling the non-
Young Thomas, a farmer’s son, existent artwork to someone who saw
answered, “None, Miss.” enough there to shell out US$18,300.
“Are you sure?” she asked. The new owner went home with
“Yes, Miss,” he said. “Sheep are very real instructions: The work,
102 september 2022

All In A Day’s Work
which is, to repeat, invisible, must be

displayed in a 1.5 metre-by-1.5 metre WHO DO YOU CALL
space free of obstruction. WHEN THE FUR FLIES?
Source: Artnet.com
These emergency department
Too Little, Too Late phone operators share some of
Need an excuse for coming to work
the wilder calls they’ve taken.
late? Don’t try these, which various
bosses say failed the first time they
were used.
“My wife put all my underwear
in the wash.”
“I dreamt I was already at work.”
“My fake eyelashes were stuck
together.”
“I had morning sickness.”
(It was a man).
“I was stuck under my bed.” “Once I talked to a pizza
Source: careerbuilder.com delivery guy who couldn’t
reach his destination because
Not That Nice a defiant chicken was standing
My toddler and I saw some fishers in the middle of the road.”
down at the pier today. “Look, they’re
helping the fish out of the water,” he “Someone called because they
said. “That’s so nice!” @AVERAGE_DAD1 got their head stuck in their
cat’s scratching post. The cat
Knead To Know was stuck inside with them.
I began to have doubts about how Throughout the call, I kept
mathematics is taught when a young hearing, ‘Ow, dude, this isn’t
cook at my pizzeria said he had a fun for me either.’ ”
problem. “A customer called asking “On Christmas morning, I got a
ILLUSTR ATION: GET T Y IMAGES
for a pizza that’s a third cheese, call from a lady who needed
a third pepperoni, and a third help cooking a turkey. I told
combination,” he said. her this was an emergency line.
“So, what’s the problem?” I asked. She informed me this was an
“I don’t know what to put on the emergency, because she had
fourth third.”
family coming over.”
SUBMITTED BY ROBERT KEARNEY
SOURCE: REDDIT
QUIZ
WHO
AM I? Can you identify 12 famous people
from our tricky questions?
BY Caroline Friedmann
QUESTIONS
1 2
Leonardo da Vinci is probably This composer was born in 1770
the most famous polymath of into a family of musicians. He
all time. The testimonies of his gave his first piano concert at age
varied work are traded at top prices seven, and published his first composi-
today. Those who are lucky enough tions at 12. His works can still be heard
to acquire da Vinci’s personal notes in concert halls around the world. He
will find that they are not easy to is considered to be the perfecter of Vi-
read. This is because he often wrote ennese Classicism and a forerunner of

his notes in ... Romanticism. Who is he?
a) hieroglyphics a) Ludwig van Beethoven
b) a shorthand he developed b) Joseph Haydn
c) mirror writing c) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
d) an early version of Morse code d) George Frideric Handel
104 september 2022

Who Am I?
3 5
This general led his troops over Many of the leading visual art-
long distances. Battle and war ists of the 20th century were also
could not frighten him. The influential in intellectual move-
sight of a cat, however, is said to have ments of their day. Who, influenced
sent him fleeing. Who is he? by the findings of psychoanalysis,
a) Hannibal developed the paranoiac-critical
b) Genghis Khan method?
c) Saladin a) Salvador Dalí
d) Napoleon Bonaparte b) Joan Miró
c) Pablo Picasso
4
In 1905, the then 26-year-old d) Frida Kahlo
physicist Albert Einstein pub-
6
lished five papers which, ac- Mahatma Gandhi fought non-
cording to today’s experts, would all violently against colonialism
have been worthy of the Nobel Prize. and was the leader of the Indian
He received it only once. In Novem- independence movement. What was
ber 1952, the genius was offered a Gandhi’s previous profession?
post that had nothing to do with a) postal clerk
physics. What was it? b) lawyer
a) Conductor of the Berlin c) dentist
Philharmonic Orchestra d) accountant
b) Secretary General of the
7
United Nations The Academy Award is consid-
c) President of Israel ered the most important award
d) Head of Philosophy at Oxford in the film industry. Only three
University actors have received more than two
of them for their performances in
leading roles. Who has received four
awards in this category?
a) Daniel Day-Lewis
b) Tom Hanks
c) Frances McDormand
d) Katherine Hepburn
Theoretical physicist Albert

Einstein (left) is best known
for developing the theory
of relativity
Who Am I?
8
This year, Queen Elizabeth II
celebrated 70 years as monarch
of Great Britain – longer than
anyone before her. During her time
on the throne, the 96 year old has
made countless state trips. Which
passport does she use?
a) A British passport
b) A Scottish passport
c) She travels without a passport
d) A passport reserved for heads
of state Billionaire Elon Musk
co-founded PayPal and
9
Only a handful of women have formed SpaceX
become head of government in
their country. One of them was novels and 15 short-story collections
recently ‘immortalised’ as a Barbie have sold over two billion copies. In
doll, flower and equestrian statue. 1926, she was the focus of a police in-
Who is it? vestigation. Why?
a) Jacinda Ardern a) She had caused a car accident
b) Angela Merkel while drunk
c) Margaret Thatcher b) She had disappeared without a
d) Indira Ghandi trace for 11 days
c) She was suspected of murder
10
Bi l l iona i re Elon Musk ’s d) She stole a car
private life is well known for
12
being turbulent. This can be This football player was five
seen in the fact that he ... times Champions League
a) first married a woman, then champion and is the top
a man scorer of this league. In addition, no
b) has 13 children with five one has played more World Cup and
women European Championship matches
c) divorced the same woman than ...
twice a) Robert Lewandowski
d) trusts no one b) Neymar
c) Cristiano Ronaldo
11
Agatha Christie is still consid- d) David Beckham
ered the most successful writ-
er in the world. Her 66 crime >> Turn to page 108 for quiz answers
ANSWERS TO WHO AM I QUIZ
1 c) Leonardo da Vinci usually wrote

his notes in mirror writing. Since
he was left-handed, it is assumed that
7 d) To date, Katherine Hepburn
holds the record with four Os-
cars. Daniel Day-Lewis and Frances
it was easier for him to write from McDormand have so far each won
right to left. Perhaps he also want- three, while Tom Hanks has won two.
ed to make it difficult for unwanted
readers to decipher his notes.
8 c) Because British passports are
issued in her name, the Queen
2 a) Ludwig van Beethoven is con-

sidered to have completed the
Viennese Classical music period,
herself does not need one. So she
travels without a passport.
paving the way for the more emotion-

al Romanticism era. 9 b) A species of orchid is named
after Angela Merkel, who was
German Chancellor from 2005 to
3 d) Napoleon Bonaparte is one of

the most famous individuals in
history who suffered from ailuropho-
2021. Merkel is also celebrated as a
Barbie doll and an equestrian statue.
bia, a pathological fear of cats.

10 c) Elon Musk and Talulah Riley
married in 2010 and divorced in
4 c) In 1952, Albert Einstein was

offered the position of President
of Israel. But he considered himself
2012. In 2013, they remarried, only to
divorce for a second time in 2015.
“unfit for politics”, so declined the

invitation. 11 b) In December 1926, Agatha
Christie disappeared without
a trace after an argument with her
5 a) Salvador Dalí, t he famous

surrealist with the swirly beard,
developed this method.
husband. The police searched for
ten days, and her husband came un-
der suspicion. Then she reappeared.
She never gave an explanation for her
6 b) Mohandas Karamchand Gan-

dhi, known as Mahatma Gan-
mysterious disappearance.
dhi, studied law in London. He first

worked as a lawyer in South Africa
before returning to India and devot-
12 c) Cristiano Ronaldo has won
the Champions League five
times (four times with Real Madrid)
ing himself entirely to the peaceful and scored 140 goals in 183 Champi-
struggle for independence. ons League games.
108 september 2022

Most trusted.
Not a term you often
hear when it comes
to used cars.
WARRANTY AA ROADSERVICE WOF CHECKS

toyota.co.nz
TRAVEL
SINGAPORE
UNDER
LIGHTS
110 september 2022

One of the world’s most spectacular sporting
events, the Formula 1 Singapore Grand Prix
returns to the city-state after two years’ hiatus.
Stewart Bell explains why it’s a must-go
ingapore has long been one of the world’s
S great cities, a gastronome’s dream with its

vibrant mix of Malay, Chinese and Indian
cultures. But everything goes up a thousand
notches when Formula 1 comes to town.
And that passion will be on show for being ready for the challenge,” he
again this year from September 30 says. “The circuit is long and busy.
to October 2, when the Formula 1 You have to get close to the exit walls
Singapore Airlines Singapore Grand and sometimes you’re there holding
Prix 2022 returns after a two-year your breath.”
COVID-19-forced hiatus. The drivers race wheel-to-wheel at
The world’s fastest racing cars up to 320km/h for almost two hours,
PHOTOS, PRE VIOUS SPRE AD AND OPPOSITE PAGE: SGP MEDIA; (RICCIARDO AND HAMILTON): GE T T Y IMAGES
threading the barriers under lights enduring up to 5G forces in corners
in perfect tropical weather? and under braking, and losing up to
Yes, please. three kilograms in body
And it’s not just fans fluid. Fitness is, there-
looking forward to the fore, critical – a single
trip, with F1’s original lapse in concentration
night race a favourite of could lead to a date with
many drivers – despite it the barrier.
being up to 60°C in the “It’s just so hot,” adds
car, and no rest for 61 F1 world champion Lew-
laps on the 23-turn Ma- is Hamilton, a four-time
rina Bay Street Circuit. winner of the event, who
“I do relish the phys- “Intense race weekend” races for Mercedes. “You
ical and mental chal- F1 driver Daniel Ricciardo have long sleeve under-
lenge in Singapore. It’s wear on, [a] balaclava
an intense race weekend and then the suit on top
and one you have to be of that – which is anoth-
ready for, and more so er three layers, and then
than other races,” says gloves. Then you go in a
Perth-born racer Daniel sauna. And even if you
Ricciardo, who drives open up you r v isor,
for McLaren. there is no cool breeze
“I learnt a lot from my coming in, so you are
first race there in 2011, Four-time winner s weat i ng before you
and I realised the need Lewis Hamilton even get in the car.”
112 september 2022

For the drivers, the Formula 1 Singapore Grand Prix is a major challenge
with high cockpit temperatures and lots of corners
Marina Bay’s Apex Lounge (above left) promises views of the race; British boy band
Westlife (above right) is slated to perform on the main Padang stage
To prepare, the drivers will do tar- teams and drivers don’t adapt to local
geted heat training a month out from time while in Singapore, preferring to
the event, some using a sauna to stay on European time to be at their
simulate hot and humid conditions. most alert at night time. Jonathan
The type of training might involve Wheatley, Red Bull Racing’s team
an intense aerobic conditioning ses- manager, explains: “The flights [to
sion, featuring six by three-minute Singapore] actually work in our fa-
fast-r u n n i ng w it h a vour in that respect,” he
three-minute recovery EVERY YEAR, THE says. “They arrive in the
in between. evening, the guys [race
RELEASE OF THE
PHOTOS: (APE X LOUNGE) SGP MEDIA; (ALL OTHERS) GE T T Y IMAGES.

“There are so many team] get there and can
corners and not many ENTERTAINMENT have a night out, if they
straights,” says Haas BILL MAKES like, for their first night
F1 team driver Kevin in Singapore, and they
Magnussen about the
NEWS HEADLINES don’t actually have to
Singapore track. go to bed until six or
“So you are really working the seven o’clock in the morning.”
whole time. You’re not going straight, But, while it’s a sweat-fest for the
so you’re not able to relax anywhere,” drivers, for the fans the festivities
he says. continue beyond the track limits,
“And then because it’s a relatively with Singapore’s race world famous
low-speed track, that almost always for its concerts. Every year, the re-
takes us up to the two-hour limit, lease of the entertainment bill makes
which is obviously very tough.” news headlines.
The challenge gets even more as- And 2022 is no different, with an
tonishing when you realise that the eclectic list of superb artists, including
114 september 2022

Singapore Under Lights
A prominent landmark in the Kampong Glam Malay Heritage District is the historic
Sultan Mosque (above); Singapore is well known as a gourmand’s paradise (below)
DJ Marshmello, Westlife, Green Day, more about the island nation’s histo-
Black Eyed Peas, The Kid LAROI, TLC, ry, head over to the Kampong Glam
and Suede. historic district for a taste of Malay
The fun continues well beyond culture, delight in the vibrancy of
the race track, with the glittering Little India, and spend some time at
Circuit Park covering nearly 800,000 the National Museum of Singapore.
square metres (equivalent to 112 soc- Food is always high on everyone’s
cer fields) of Singapore’s city centre. list, and there’s no doubt that visitors
The park is jam-packed with enter- to Singapore return to their hotels
ta inment, including full. Hawker centres are
roving acts, interactive THERE’S PLENTY amazing for a truly au-
displays and authentic thentic taste of Hokkien
local and international
TO SEE, DO Mee (stir-fried noodles),
food. AND FEAST ON Char Kway Teow (stir-
Out side t he gates TO SOAK UP f r ied r ice nood les),
of t he Ci rcu it Pa rk, Ha i na nese C h icken
there’s plenty to see,
THE F1 BUZZ Rice or Chilli Crab.
do a nd fea s t on to If you’re looking for
soak up the buzz. A quick tour can haute cuisine and want to avoid the
simply involve a trip on the Sin- city, try one of the many hip win-
gapore Flyer that looks over the ing and dining establishments at
Circuit Park and skyline, followed Dempsey Hill.
b y s hoppi ng at O rc h a rd Road For families, one of the first places
and dinner and drinks riverside at you should explore is Sentosa Island
Clarke Quay. – with unlimited options for action
PHOTOS: (TIGER) GE T T Y IMAGES; (FIREWORKS) SGP MEDIA .

If you’re interested in learning and adventure – only a short trip on
Singapore’s zoo is extremely popular with families (below left); the sky lights up
with fireworks during the Grand Prix (below right)
116 september 2022

Singapore Under Lights
Sentosa Island offers fun water-based activities as well as pristine beaches
the Sentosa Express train from Sin- to Singapore’s 24-hour shopping

gapore. You can head to Universal mall, the Mustafa Centre. This gem in
Studios Singapore, try ziplining, luge Little India sells practically anything
(part go-kart, part toboggan), or even you can think of at bargain prices,
indoor skydiving. but on an entirely exotic level.
Stick around on Sentosa Island for All in all, Singapore offers the right
its stunning beaches, and grab some ingredients for an unforgettable trip
lunch at the famous Tanjong Beach with the F1 under lights, unlimited
Club, widely considered the world’s fun and relaxation options and lots
best beach bar for its unbeatable of fantastic food.
menu, service and views. “I t hink t he way t he cit y gets
The fun continues in the city at around race time is really cool,” says
Singapore Zoo, widely regarded as R icciardo. “I’ve had family and
the world’s best rainforest zoo. Or friends come to it and they’ve only
for some local culture, head to Tiong ever said good things.”
PHOTO: GE T T Y IMAGES.
Bahru, Singapore’s first housing dis-

trict. Here, you can find great cafes The Formula 1 Singapore Airlines Sin-
along Yong Siak Street and enjoy local gapore Grand Prix 2022 will be held
delicacies at the Tiong Bahru Market. from September 30-October 2. For
For some fantastic shopping, head more information, visit singaporegp.sg
BONUS READ
THE FUTURE OF
From self-driving cars to space travel,

we answer your questions about
where technology is heading
BY Chris Stokel-Walker
ILLUSTRATIONS by Tavis Coburn
118 september 2022

very day, it seems, a new techy term

pops up, leaving us non-techies
asking questions in what sounds
like a foreign language. “What is
an NFT?” for example. And “Where,
exactly, is the metaverse?” If you’re
confused, you’re not alone.
While it might feel as if technology
is speeding up, it follows a predict-
QUESTION NO.1
able formula called Moore’s Law,
which has correctly predicted the WHEN WILL I HAVE A
pace of human advancements in
technology for nearly six decades.
SELF-DRIVING CAR?
Moore’s Law suggests that the num- LIKE THE JETPACKS sci-f i w riters
ber of transistors on a computer chip have promised us since the 1920s,
will double about every two years. the vision of a self-driving car that
This is a reliable indicator of how whisks us to work while we read the
much and how quickly technology news has proved to be more prob-
will change. lematic to implement in practice
A nd w h i le Mo ore’s L aw h a s than in theory.
held true for all this time, it hasn’t So-called advanced driver-assis-
stopped other key trends in tech tance system (ADAS) features
from accelerating far faster are available in some cars,
than computer chips can China hopes such as Tesla’s electric cars,
keep pace. to increase sales but they’re not what would
From a new space race of self-driving be considered self-driving.
pitting billionaires like cars to 20% Tesla’s autopilot tool can
by 2030
Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos help you stay in your lane
against each other to big ad- while driving on the highway,
vancements in the artificial intel- but it’s graded only a Level 2 on
ligence, or AI, that powers robots and the five-stage system of automation
self-driving cars, we will answer some developed by SAE International,
crucial questions to keep you on the a driving standards organisation.
cutting edge of the future of tech. Level 5 would be a full self-driving
120 september 2022

The Future Of Tech
experience with hands off the steer- wheel – to around 20 per cent of the
ing wheel. We aren’t there yet. But total by 2030.
that’s not everywhere. But what works in China might
Look further afield and the future not work elsewhere, admits Duden-
is closer. “If you look at China, the höffer.
big cities like Shanghai and Shen- Chinese citizens might accept
zhen have self-driving cars doing having the journeys of their vehicles
passenger transportation,” says Fer- tracked and analysed to improve
dinand Dudenhöffer, director of the traffic f lows, but citizens of other
Centre for Automotive Research in countries may be reluctant to agree
Duisburg, Germany. to that tracking.
The self-driving taxis, which are Privacy concerns may stymie the
run by Chinese auto and tech giants, promise of kicking back on your
are part of a countrywide plan to in- commute.
crease the sales of Level 4 vehicles Self-driving cars must constantly
– which allow drivers to switch off generate data from their sensors and
mentally while still requiring them software to make driving decisions –
to keep their hands on or near the otherwise they would crash.
122 september 2022

The Future Of Tech
QUESTION NO.2
WHAT IS THE METAVERSE?

YOU’VE LIKELY BEEN UNABLE to avoid year as Meta in an indication of how
talk of the metaverse in the past few strongly it believes in the future of the
months. The term, first coined by metaverse. Founder Mark Zuckerberg
sci-fi author Neal Stephenson in a wants a billion of us to live, work and
1992 novel, has become a vision of play in the metaverse by 2030.
the future of technology in our lives. But Hackl warns people not to view
And if the hype is to be believed, it’s the social media giant as the centre
where we’ll be living the rest of our of the metaverse. “It’s not just one
digital lives. company,” she says. “No single com-
“The metaverse is a further con- pany can build it, either.” It’s also not
vergence of our physical and digital enabled by a single technology, even
lives,” says Cathy Hackl of Futures though right now the way to ‘enter’
Intelligence Group. Put plainly, the the metaverse is to strap on a pair of
metaverse is a 3D virtual space that virtual reality goggles.
can be accessed through virtual re- While the early running may be
ality goggles, adding elements made by Meta, the momentum
of the digital on top of our will be picked up by oth-
“It’s the future
day-to-day lives. You could ers. And just because we
of the internet.
attend concerts and con- But it’s also have an idea of what the
ferences in the metaverse, about further metaverse will look like
staged in a 3D digital rep- connectivity” now, it doesn’t mean that’s
resentation of a nightclub or what it’ll end up as, Hackl
conference centre. Elsewhere, cautions. “The way I explain it
you’ll shop for shoes in a virtual is, we’re in a high-speed train, des-
Nike store or order food in a virtual tination metaverse,” she says. “We
McDonald’s and have it delivered to don’t know the stops, but we kind of
your real-world home. know where we’re heading.”
“It’s the future of the internet. But Something to think about: Currently,
it’s also about further connectivity,” there are no laws specifically gov-
says Hackl. erning the metaverse. However, the
So far, most of the attention around same laws that apply to the internet,
the metaverse has been focused such as copyright, defamation, con-
on the company formerly known tract and the like, also apply to the
as Facebook, which rebranded last metaverse and other virtual realms.
QUESTION NO.3
WILL ROBOTS
TAKE MY JOB?
SCIENCE FICTION NOVELS often turn
into a dystopian nightmare partway
through – and for blue-collar work-
ers who are the bedrock of the labour
force, there’s a suspicion about the
way the robot revolution story will
end. By 2035, one in three jobs could
be automated by robots, predicts busi-
ness consultancy Pricewaterhouse-
Coopers.
“Robotics is traditionally applied
to problems that fall into the cate- quicker than a human, it makes sense
gories ‘dirty’, ‘dull’ and ‘dangerous’,” to utilise them, and almost all Wall
says robotics expert Jonathan Aitken. Street firms do.
“Automation of a repetitive process is Jobs where workers are less likely to
always achievable. The lack of vari- be replaced by robots include those in
ability means that the process is the health care, although surgical robots,
same, time after time. This is the rea- which are controlled by remote med-
son that robots fell naturally into car ical professionals in order to carry out
production.” more precise procedures, are al-
It’s been the case since the ready being used in hospitals.
first robots appeared on By 2035, However, the gentle touch
production lines. But it’s one in three and caring reassurance of a
not just blue-collar jobs jobs could be well-trained nurse or doc-
automated by
that are feeling the squeeze tor can’t be replicated by a
robots
from the rise of the robots. robot. “It’s important to ask
White-collar roles are also af- the question of whether we
fected, particularly those focused want robots doing certain jobs,”
on data sorting, a task suited for arti- says Aitken. “In replacing a human,
ficial intelligence. Financial services is especially in a human-facing role,
one area that has turned to automat- we’re being asked to accept the robot.
ed robots enacting trades. When a This is something that’ll take time to
computer can pick stocks better and achieve. People still like people.”
124 september 2022

The Future Of Tech
including Gwyneth Paltrow and

QUESTION NO. 4 Jimmy Fallon, proudly show off their
NFT collections.
Celebrities have often spent hun-
WHAT IS AN NFT? dreds of thousands of dollars to buy
FEW THINGS worth US$44.2 billion the right to an NFT from collections
are as misunderstood as NFTs, but with themes such as bored apes and
then few things have captured the pixelated punks.
zeitgeist like NFTs. The letters stand But despite the big-name endorse-
for the words non-fungible tokens, ments, NFTs have faced criticism.
which are one-of-a-kind digital ob- NFTs have ended up being stolen or
jects that can’t be exchanged for each found to be using images that don’t
other or copied because of their en- legally belong to the artists behind
cryption. them. Other NFT projects have been
“What most people see as an NFT uncovered as get-rich-quick scams for
is art,” says Nick Donarski, founder the creators, while those who own the
of ORE System, a company that deals artwork are left holding the bag.
in NFT technology. For example, in- If NFTs can overcome the bumps
stead of owning a physical painting, and bruises of their early negative
you could buy ownership of an NFT, publicity, they could become a com-
an original piece of digital art. Some monly used bit of technology. The key
of the world’s biggest celebrities, word is ‘if’.
126 september 2022
The Future Of Tech
QUESTION NO.5
WHAT’S NEXT IN SPACE TRAVEL?

FIFTY YEARS AGO, astronauts trav- those services of taking scientific pay-
elled to space in rockets built by loads to the surface of the moon,” says
space agencies such as NASA and Forczyk. The hope is that people will
paid for by government funding. follow – possibly by 2025, but more
Today, the astronauts are often bil- realistically, says Forczyk, by 2030. If
lionaires enjoying a journey into low you’re wondering why we’re going
orbit on a rocket they paid for from back to the moon since humankind
their billion-dollar bank accounts. has already walked its surface, the an-
The change feels like a giant leap, but swer is that we explored only part of it.
it makes sense, says Laura Seward “We know a lot more, but we also
Forczyk, founder of Astralytical, a know so very little,” says Forczyk. “So
space consulting company. “More we want to go back with people to
and more of modern civilisation re- learn more, but more importantly,
lies on space,” she says. we want to go back to live and work
Huge numbers of satellites orbit the there.” Some even see the moon as
planet, connecting us to everything an eventual staging area for human
from mobile phones to GPS to exploration of deep space. Mars
Netflix, and there is big money in is seen as the next stepping-off
maintaining those systems. point towards the final fron-
“This doesn’t get a lot of Some see the tier – though whether we’ll
headlines, typically, but moon as the get there in our lifetimes is
there are profit reasons why staging area another question.
private companies want to for deep-space Something to think about:
exploration
go into space,” says Forczyk. A fuel-efficient return-trip
And as private enterprise to Mars would take about 21
learns more about putting rock- months: nine months to get
ets and satellites into space, they’re there, three months on the planet,
able to help the likes of NASA on their and nine months to get back. Howev-
missions. That’s important because er, as t he Eart h and Mars orbit
NASA itself has become financially around the sun at different speeds
constrained due to less government and distances, they are only aligned
spending on space travel. “NASA is in a way that allows the most ener-
using commercial companies to build gy-efficient time to travel to Mars
a lot of the hardware to do a lot of every 26 months.
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RD RECOMMENDS
Movies
PHOTO: @2022 S TUDIOCANAL LIMITED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
The Railway Children Return Family
I
nspired by one of Britain’s most beloved family films, The Railway Children
Return is a heart-warming adventure set during WWII. As life in Britain’s
cities becomes increasingly perilous, three siblings – Lily (Beau Gadsdon),
Pattie (Eden Hamilton) and Ted (Zac Cudby) Watts – are among a group of
children evacuated to a Yorkshire village. The Watts soon settle into life in the
country, playing alongside the railway line, but when they stumble upon an
injured American soldier, Abe (KJ Aikens), hiding in the railway yard, they are
thrust into a dangerous quest to assist their newfound friend who, like them,
is a long way from home.
COMPILED BY DIANE GODLEY
Ticket To Paradise Romantic Comedy
F
ilmed in tropical Queensland, making the same mistake as they did.
Ticket To Paradise reunites Calling a truce on their animosity for
PHOTOS: (BOT TOM) © 2021 20TH CENTURY S TUDIOS ALL RIGHTS RESERVED; (TOP) UNIVERSAL PICTURES
Academy-Award winning actors one another, the pair make a pact
George Clooney and Julia Roberts to work together to delay wedding
in this big screen production. The plans and come up with all sorts of
divorced couple find themselves on not-so-grand plans to halt it. But
the same flight with the same mission when romance is in the air, anything
in mind: to stop their love-struck can happen – even old flames can
daughter, Lily (Kaitlyn Dever), from be reignited.
See How They Run

Mystery Comedy
S
et in 1950s London’s
West End, this murder
mystery is a real hoot
as well as visually stunning.
Plans for a movie version of a
smash-hit stage production
are abruptly halted when
the Hollywood director is
found murdered. World- Ronan) investigate, and find
weary Inspector Stoppard (Sam themselves thrown into a
Rockwell) and his sidekick, puzzling whodunit within the
the eager beaver Irish rookie glamorously sordid theatre
Constable Stalker (Saoirse underground.
130 september 2022

RD Recommends
Fiction
Isaac And The Egg
Bobby Palmer
HACHETTE
When Isaac Addy’s

wife, Mary, dies, his
life is shattered. Early
one morning he finds
himself on the edge of
a bridge, considering
the cold watery depths
below. He emits an
anguished cry, which is
returned with an earth-
The Stand-In shattering howl from Lying Beside You
Lily Chu the woods. He stumbles Michael Robotham
SOURCEBOOKS towards the sound in HACHETTE
Who hasn’t imagined search of the creature
walking in the shoes in such despair, Forensic psychologist
of a famous movie and comes across a Cyrus Haven has a
star? When Gracie giant egg. Feeling dark history: 20 years
Reed is mistaken by a emotionally attached ago his brother Elias
paparazzo for Chinese to the egg, he takes murdered their parents
mega star Wei Fangli, it home. A wildly and sisters. Now, after
the actress gets an imaginative tale about years of incarceration at
idea: pay Gracie to be love, loss and loneliness a psychiatric hospital,
her double at functions as well as hope and Elias is deemed
so she can get some happiness. safe to return to the
much-needed rest. community. Meanwhile,
Recently a woman has vanished
unemployed, Gracie is and there is a
desperate for money connection to Cyrus’s
PHOTOS: SOURCEBOOKS; HACHE T TE
to pay for her mother’s bright but troubled

nursing home and lodger, 21-year-old
reluctantly accepts, Evie Cormac. This is the
but finds herself in way third book in the Cyrus
too deep when she and Evie series and,
discovers her escort is as always, Robotham
the most attractive and delivers a pageturner
infuriating man she has with a high level of
ever met. A fun book suspense and nuanced
and enjoyable read. pacing. M.Egan
Non
Fiction Chinese-ish: Home
Cooking Not Quite
Authentic, 100%
Delicious
Rosheen Kaul &
Joanna Hu
MURDOCH BOOKS
As children of Chinese
immigrants who moved
to Australia, Kaul and
Hu spent their younger
years living between
two cultures. Food
was a big part of their
Get Moving journey, but as they The ‘C’ Word
Keep Moving grew, they decided (Confidence)
Dr Gordon Spence
instead of committing Mel Schilling
to one culture, they
QUIRKMARK MEDIA MURDOCH BOOKS
would forge a new path
Passionate about where flavour and the Do you suffer from
psychology and freedom to choose imposter syndrome or
exercise science, trumped authenticity. a lack of confidence?
Dr Spence has fused Chinese-ish celebrates In this book, human
the two in this book to this blending of cultures behaviour and
explore why exercise and provides a bounty performance specialist
loses its lustre as we of inauthentic Chinese- Mel Schilling walks you
age, and shows us influenced dishes from through taking control
how the challenge of all over Southeast Asia. of your relationships, PHOTOS: QUIRKMARK MEDIA; MURDOCH BOOKS
returning to exercise career and life, and
can be overcome and demonstrates that
the possibilities this confidence, resilience
creates for ageing well. and self-esteem are
Using personal skillsets to be learned
stories, this easy-to- for you to thrive.
read guide empowers This self-help guide
readers to take will teach you to turn
charge of their health, fear into a strength
reconnect with their and step out of your
physical self, and set comfort zone to build
themselves up for a self-esteem and be more
longer, healthier life. confident.
132 september 2022

RD Recommends
Podcasts
When She Was Princess
In 1945, the woman who was to become Queen
Elizabeth II (and recently celebrated 70 years
on the British throne) was aged 19, keenly aware
of the duties of the crown and already showing
signs of a quiet determination to face the
challenges that lay ahead.
Parental As Anything, with Maggie Dent

Parenting author Maggie Dent shares what to do
if your kids are fighting over every little thing and
other common parenting dilemmas. There are
practical tips and answers on everything affecting
children of all ages from shyness to screen time,
avoiding homework to tantrums and more.
The Commune
For 13 years, former vacuum-cleaner salesman
and drug dealer Bert Potter called himself ‘God’
and ruled over 300 men, women and children at
PHOTOS: COURTESY HARRY POT TER; THE COMMUNE; PARENTAL A S ANY THING
Albany’s notorious Centrepoint community. This

12-part documentary podcast sheds light on life in
the cult and its bizarre rules and abuses.
The ‘Harry Potter’ Series by

J.K. Rowling on Audible
Harry Potter needs little introduction,
but the audiobooks available on
Audible (subscription) can be a great
way to introduce kids to Hogwarts – and
for those who have read the books, to revisit
Harry, Hermione and Ron.
HOW TO GET PODCASTS To listen on the web: In a search engine, look up ‘The
Commune’, for example, and click on the play button. To download: Download an app
such as Podcatchers or iTunes on your phone or tablet and simply search by title.
TO LISTEN TO RD TALKS GO TO
www.readersdigest.co.nz/podcasts and click on the play button.
I
used to be a mobi le phone
THE addict. It was my crutch for
any situation where I might
GENIUS be bored. I would pull out my
SECTION phone when standing in line for
a coffee or having dinner with a
Sharpen Your
friend if they left the table for a few
Mind
minutes. It would be the first thing I
would check when I woke up in the
morning and the last when I went
to bed at night. I would even check
emails or scroll through Instagram
STOP! when I brushed my teeth.

I behaved like this for many years.
Thousands and thousands of hours
were sunk into scrolling through
Put Your my Instagram and Facebook feeds.
Hours that I will never, ever be able
Phone Away! to get back.
Research collated by MediaKix
Here’s how you can kick as far back as 2016 suggested that
around half of our daily phone time
your digital habit
– nearly two hours – was spent on
the top five social media platforms
BY Amantha Imber
(Facebook, YouTube, Snapchat,
FROM THE BOOK
TIME WISE Instagram and Twitter). Over the
course of the year that translates
to a staggering 30 full days. That is
one whole month spent watching,
reading, scrolling and clicking on
things that probably are not signif-
icantly improving your life. In fact, it
might be having the opposite effect.
A rev iew of studies published
about mobile phone addiction sug-

gests heavy usage is associated with
a tonne of unfortunate outcomes,
such as lower self-image and self-es-
teem, neuroticism, higher levels of
134 september 2022

The Genius Section
anxiety and stress, and poor sleep. for your phone? Using behavioural
Mobile phone addiction is also the architecture, think about how you can
arch enemy of focus. change your physical environment
Keep reading for different ways (such as where you store your phone
some of the world’s most successful during the day and night) to change
people have managed to kick their your behaviour. Specifically, think
digital addictions. about how your phone can be physi-
cally further away from you – during
BEHAVIOURAL ARCHITECTURE the day and at night time – than it
CAN CHANGE HOW YOU RELATE currently is.
TO YOUR PHONE Adam Alter, author of Irresistible:
Just as an architect might design a The Rise of Addictive Technology and
building or a city, you are the archi- the Business of Keeping Us Hooked,
tect of your own environment, which started to deliberately create physi-
then changes how you behave. And cal distance between himself and his
the things that are fur- phone. He would only
thest away from you RESEARCH bring it close to himself
have less of an impact HAS SHOWN THAT when he had made a
than the things that are purposeful decision to
close to you.
THE AVERAGE do so.
Do an audit of your PERSON TOUCHES At home, Alter would
current mobile phone THEIR PHONE keep his phone in a dif-
behaviour by looking at ferent room to the one
how much time you use
2617 TIMES A DAY he was currently in.
it every day. Thankful- In his office, he would
ly, technology companies have made lock his phone away in his filing cab-
that easy to do. On an iPhone, go to inet. Through making these simple
Settings and select Screen Time to find changes, Alter’s mobile phone usage
your data. On an Android device, go dropped by 30 per cent.
to Settings, then Digital Wellbeing &
Parent Controls to reveal your mobile WHY YOU MAY NEED A SAFE
phone usage. FOR YOUR PHONE
Reflect on what is causing you to Research has shown that the av-
use your phone and the situations in erage person touches their phone
which you are most likely to use it. Are 2617 times per day. That’s a lot of
there times of the day when usage is swiping, typing, scrolling and click-
high? Are there locations where you ing. We often say to ourselves, I need
use it a lot? And in what types of sit- to check my phone less. But this strat-
uations are you most likely to reach egy relies on pure willpower. And
sadly, willpower is a limited resource. HOW A RUBBER BAND CAN TAME

Perhaps it’s time for an extreme DIGITAL ADDICTION
strategy that physically restricts us We all know that turning off notifica-
from using our phone so that we tions or putting our phone on ‘Do Not
don’t have to tap into our willpower Disturb’ can help reduce the amount
reserves. of time we spend checking it. But Sil-
Prior to becoming the CEO of Mo- icon Valley entrepreneur Kevin Rose
ment, a company that helps people found a more novel way to tame his
use their phones in healthier ways, mobile phone habits.
Tim Kendall was the president of Pin- A few years ago, he became in-
terest. During this time, creasi ng ly awa re of
he struggled a lot with THE RUBBER BAND his mobile phone be-
his own phone usage.
He started to research
ACTS AS A VISUAL haviour and realised
he was pick i ng up
what he describes as CUE TO STOP his phone more than
‘brute force approaches’ THE BEHAVIOUR 100 times per day. One
and discovered a prod-
uct called the kSafe.
OF PICKING UP method he experiment-
ed w it h was a lways
The kSafe is a lock- THE PHONE putting his phone face-
able kitchen safe with down on the table so it
a built-in timer. It was originally de- stopped flashing at him. But then he
signed as a weight-loss aid in which tried something a bit more unusu-
dieters could lock away unhealthy al: he put a rubber band around the
food. But, in recent years, the product phone.
has found a secondary purpose for “When you see that rubber band, it
those struggling with mobile phone just reminds you to pause for a sec-
addiction, as it’s the perfect size to ond and you think to yourself, Do I
lock away smartphones. Kendall ini- really need to pick up and use my de-
tially tried experimenting with locking vice right now? Oftentimes, the an-
away his phone on weeknights, and swer is no.”
then for a few hours on the weekend. Rose would position the rubber
While he doesn’t use the kSafe reg- band so it would sit horizontally
ularly anymore, he found it effective across the screen. The rubber band
at the time. “The thing that works for acts as a visual cue to stop the au-
me today is in my house, I have an tomatic behaviour of picking up his
office. And when I leave that office phone.
before I go and have dinner with my “Subconsciously, I didn’t even re-
family, I just leave my phone in the alise I was doing it. But with the rub-
office,” he explains. ber band, I have to deliberately move
136 september 2022

The Genius Section
it out of the way if I want to use my had a huge impact on Knapp’s ability
device.” to stay focused on big projects, such
Through applying this strategy, as writing his best-selling books Sprint
Rose reduced his daily pick-ups from and Make Time, as well as creating
more than 100 to around 30. Design Sprints at Google Ventures
where he worked for several years.
MAKE YOUR PHONE BORING So what does Knapp do in those
Jake Knapp used to work as a product times where so many of us instinc-
designer on Gmail. So not only does tively pull out our phone?
he know about all the forces on our “I do nothing. If I’m out for dinner
phone that are competing for our and my friend goes to the bathroom,
attention, he actually helped design I just look around the restaurant. I
them. Yet despite understanding the literally will just be bored for a min-
mechanics of how phone apps are de- ute. And I think being bored is pret-
signed to command our attention, he ty powerful. If you can have little
fell victim to it. pockets of boredom in the day, it lets
Kapp realised he didn’t need that your brain rest and, for me, it lets
extra stuff on his phone and delet- the subconscious come up with a
ed Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, solution to something, solve some-
Twitter and Gmail – he even turned t hing, or propose an idea t hat I
off Safari. What remained on Knapp’s hadn’t had before.”
phone were the apps that had utilitar-
ian value: he has podcasts, a camera, This is an edited extract from Time
maps, music and a torch. Wise by Amantha Imber. Published by
Having a distraction-free phone Penguin Random House, RRP $34.99
There’s A Fly In My Food!

Dogs love to eat some pretty dodgy things, so it was no surprise
to former RSPCA veterinarian Stephanie Stubbe that they would
enjoy food made from maggots. Stubbe, who grew up on a beef
farm in New South Wales, has created the hypo-allergenic dog
food made from dried fly larvae, which she hopes will lead to more
environmentally friendly pet food. “Essentially the black soldier
flies are farmed, like you would any meat product, except they
require 98 per cent less energy, 96 per cent less water, and also a
lot less waste [than red meat],” Stubbe said. ABC.NET.AU
PUZZLES
Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles and mind
stretchers, then check your answers on page 142.
Crossword
Test your general
knowledge.
DOWN
2 Fast-running bird (7)
3 The distaff side (5)
4 Stereotypical cowboy
characteristic (3,4)
6 Ancient (5)
7 Viewpoint (9)
CROSSWORD: CROSSWORDSITE.COM; SUDOKU: SUDOKUPUZZLER.COM

8 Esteem (7)
9 Skills (4)
14 Gaze (4)
16 Deliberately
ACROSS
ambiguous (9)
1 Fly traps (7) Bear originated (4) 17 British boarding
5 Man’s felt hat (7) 21 Brave (10) school for the wealthy (4)
10 Separate article (4) 24 Hedge plant (6) 20 Body part pierced for
11 Of the highest 26 Feedlot (8) rings (7)
calibre (5-5) 28 Luxury London 22 Flight personnel (7)
12 Very large woman (8) hotel (10) 23 Disentangle (7)
13 Sister’s daughters (6) 29 Covetousness (4) 25 Woody plants (5)
15 Lovesick glances (6,4) 30 One who views things 26 Vessel used for
18 Consumes (4) as they are (7) washing (4)
19 Where Paddington 31 Silly talk (7) 27 Give up (5)
138 september 2022

BRAIN POWER
brought to you by
Puzzle
Answers
PAGE 142
9 4 2 3 6 8
5 4 1 2 9
8 9 7 1
6 8 1 2 4 7
7 1 8 6
2 4 3 8 1
3 1 5 9 7
1 2 8
5 4 6 1 2
Sudoku
HOW TO PLAY: To win, you have to put a number
from 1 to 9 in each outlined section so that:
• Every horizontal row and vertical column
contains all nine numerals (1-9) without repeating
any of them;
• Each of the outlined sections has all nine
numerals, none repeated.
IF YOU SOLVE IT WITHIN:

15 minutes, you’re a true expert
30 minutes, you’re no slouch
60 minutes or more, maybe numbers aren’t your thing
"Write, Erase, Rewrite"
Puzzle
FAMILY FUN Answers
PAGE 142
Spot The Difference

There are ten differences. Can you find them?
Card Logic
Adam has seven index cards and
writes a number from 1 to 9 on
each. The average of all seven of
his numbers is 5. The only number
that Adam writes on more than
one card is 9. When Adam

arranges his cards in increasing
order by number, the middle card
has a 4 on it. What numbers are on
the seven cards?
140 september 2022

TRIVIA
Test Your General Knowledge
1. Malaysia is home to how many underground river. True or false?

UNESCO-designated World 1 point
Heritage Sites? a) Eight. b) Two. 8. Magawa was awarded a gold
c) Four. 1 point medal in recognition of its heroism
2. What did Princess Charlotte in locating landmines in Cambodia.
Casiraghi of Monaco ride down the What species was Magawa? 2 points
runway at a 2022 Chanel show? 9. Who was the Prime Minister of
1 point the United Kingdom before Boris
3. What kind of summer footwear Johnson? 1 point
has been worn since early 10. Where would you find the
civilisation in the Americas, Asia freshwater species known as the
and Africa? 1 point pink river dolphin? 2 points
4. South Pacific nation Vanuatu 11. Which Disney princess sings
offers the world’s only post office in ‘Once Upon A Dream’? 1 point
what location? 1 point 12. Yttrium, lanthanum, terbium
5. What juicy salad food and scandium belong
is also known as ‘love to what sought-after
apples’? 1 point group? 2 points
6. Which common 13. Ukraine is the
drink may reduce world’s largest producer
the likelihood of of seeds and oil from its
Alzheimer’s, liver national flower, which
15. Research engineers
disease and depression? is what? 1 point
at Purdue University
PHOTO: GE T T Y IMAGES/IS TOCKPHOTO
1 point claim their newly 14. Who won Best

7. The Philippines is developed reflective Director at the Academy
home to the world’s white paint may replace Awards earlier this year?
longest navigable what? 2 points 2 points
16-20 Gold medal 11-15 Silver medal 6-10 Bronze medal 0-5 Wooden spoon
12. Rare-earth elements. 13. Sunflower. 14. Jane Campion, The Power Of The Dog. 15. Air conditioning.
River National Park. 8. Rat. 9. Theresa May. 10. Amazon, Orinoco River basins. 11. Aurora (Sleeping Beauty).
2. Her horse. 3. Flip-flops. 4. Underwater. 5. Tomatoes. 6. Coffee. 7. True. Puerta Princesa Subterranean
ANSWERS: 1. Four. Lenggong Valley; Melaka and George Town; Gunung Mulu National Park; Kinabalu Park.
PUZZLE ANSWERS
From Page 138
Spot The Difference

Sudoku
1 9 4 2 3 5 7 6 8
7 5 6 8 4 1 2 3 9
8 2 3 6 9 7 1 4 5
6 3 8 5 1 2 4 9 7
9 7 1 3 8 4 5 2 6
CROSSWORD: CROSSWORDSITE.COM; SUDOKU: SUDOKUPUZZLER.COM ; ILLUS TR ATION: GE T T Y IMAGES

2 4 5 9 7 6 3 8 1
3 6 2 1 5 9 8 7 4
4 1 9 7 2 8 6 5 3
5 8 7 4 6 3 9 1 2
Crossword
Card Logic
1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 9, 9
142 september 2022

The Genius Section
WORD POWER
Big Little Lies
Who among us hasn’t told a little white lie – or a

whopper? This month’s words relate to facts, fiction
and the grey areas in between. Turn to the next
page for the moment of truth.
BY Sarah Chassé
1. credible – A: upfront. B: biased. 9. verify – A: discredit. B: confirm.

C: believable. C: exaggerate.
2. ruse – A: pledge. B: trick. 10. ersatz – A: genuine. B: neutral.
C: secret. C: bogus.
3. obscure – A: cheat. B: make 11. slander – A: false statements.
public. C: hide. B: flawed argument. C: con artist.
4. axiom – A: myth. B: source. 12. cozen – A: guarantee.
C: truism. B: fact-check. C: deceive.
5. duplicitous – A: dishonest. 13. fallacy – A: gold standard.
B: wishy-washy. C: principled. B: mistaken belief. C: bluff.
6. candid – A: frank. B: phony. 14. polygraph – A: sworn statement.
C: undercover. B: lie detector. C: god of truth.
7. apocryphal – A: trustworthy. 15. debunk – A: disprove. B: bring to
B: sceptical. C: of doubtful light. C: challenge in court.
authenticity or origin.
16. disinformation – A: cyber-
8. feign – A: leave out details. security advice. B: misleading
B: give the appearance of. information. C: false information
C: offer as evidence. deliberately spread.
Answers
1. credible – (C) believable. I know 10. ersatz – (C) bogus. The street
‘the dog ate my homework’ isn’t vendor sells fake Rolexes and other
a credible excuse, but that’s what ersatz items.
really happened!
11. slander – (A) false statements.
2. ruse – (B) trick. Tonight’s dinner Val has been spreading slander
reservations are a ruse – we’re about her boss to anyone who will
actually throwing Amy a surprise listen.
party.
12. cozen – (C) deceive. Scammers
3. obscure – (C) hide. The burglars’ make countless robocalls every day,
black masks obscured their faces. trying to cozen a few unsuspecting
consumers.
4. axiom – (C) truism. Grandpa
repeats his favourite axiom often: 13. fallacy – (B) mistaken belief.
“Measure twice, cut once.” It’s a fallacy to suppose that wealth
brings happiness.
5. duplicitous – (A) dishonest. “You
duplicitous double-crosser – you’ll 14. polygraph – (B) lie detector.
pay for this!” Ellen shouted. The crime suspect insisted he was
innocent, though he refused to take
6. candid – (A) frank. In a candid a polygraph.
memoir, the actor reveals his
difficult childhood. 15. debunk – (A) disprove. His
theories have been debunked by
7. apocryphal – (C) of doubtful recent research.
authenticity or origin. Urban
legends about spider eggs in 16. disinformation – (C) false
bubblegum are apocryphal tales. information deliberately spread.
During a war both sides hide their
8. feign – (B) give the appearance correct information and spread
of. Back in high school, I’d feign disinformation.
illness to get out of gym class.
VOCABULARY RATINGS
9. verify – (B) confirm. Please bring a 5–9: Fair
passport or driver’s licence to verify 10–12: Good
your identity. 13–16: Word Power Wizard
144 september 2022

YOUR
TRUST
OUR
PERFORMANCE
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performer. New Zealanders have voted us the
Most Trusted Real Estate Brand for 10 years in a row.
You can trust Harcourts.
Find where you belong.
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