What is STRESS?

CONTENTS
PAGE

Introduction ......................................................................... 2

Exercise 1 ................................................................................... 4

Exercise 2 ................................................................................... 5

What is Stress? .................................................................... 6-7

Fight or Flight Response ...................................................... 8-10

What Causes to Stress?............................................................ 11-14

Stress and Learning ............................................................... 15

Exercise 3 ............................................................................ 16-18

How can stress become a problem? ....................................... 19-20

How Does Stress Affect You? .............................................................. 21

Our Body ............................................................................ 22

Our Behaviour ..................................................................... 23

Our Thoughts ...................................................................... 24

Our Feelings .................................................................... 25-26

The Vicious Cycle of Stress ........................................................... 27

Exercise 4 .............................................................................. 28-30

5 Stages ...................................................................... 31-32

Steps to Dealing with Stress .......................................................... 33

First Steps to Controlling Your Stress.......................................... 35

Relaxation…………………………………………………………………………………..………………36

Exercise 5 .................................................................................. 37

10 Tips to Help You Relax ....................................................... 38

Support Network .................................................................. 39

Summary Quiz ……….………………………………………………………………………………….40

Things to Try ............................................................................ 41

Useful Contacts.......................................................................42

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Page | 2
 WHAT IS
STRESS?
The aim of these Wellbeing Workbooks is to help you learn more about stress and
the things you can do to help reduce your stress when you feel very worried or
anxious.

WHAT TO EXPECT

 There are four workbooks altogether and they should each take around 2
hours to complete

 The workbooks should supplement the information you are learning about
mental health in your school classes

 Each workbook has information, exercises and games to help you learn about
wellbeing

 The exercises in the workbooks are simply there to aid your learning. You do
not have to share any of your answers to the exercises; you can keep them as
private as you would like to

 If you are feeling really stressed and think you would like to talk to someone
about this, there are phone numbers and websites at the back of this book
which might be useful

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IN SESSION 1 WE WILL LOOK AT:

 What is stress

 What causes stress

 How stress affects you

 What maintains stress

 How you can change your lifestyle to make yourself feel less stressed

 How you can begin to deal with stress

In weeks 2 and 3 we will look at how behaviour and thinking can cause you to
feel stressed; and in week 4 we will look at
problem solving skills that can help you to
cope with stress.

To start though, it would be good to think

about how you feel your life is for you at
the moment. The exercise below will help
you do that.

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 EXERCISE: HOW IS LIFE JUST NOW?

On the scale below, how good was your life this week?

0 10

As bad as it could possibly be As good as it could possibly be

Now think about what has been happening in your life recently to make
you feel this way. Think about the good things and the bad things:

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 EXERCISE: W H A T M A K E S A ‘ G O O D L I F E ’ ?

On the scale below, mark where you think you would need to score in order to feel
you had a ‘good life’’

0 10

As bad as it could possibly be As good as it could possibly be

How would you know that you had reached a “good quality of life’’? What would you be
doing differently compared to now, if anything?

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 WHAT IS STRESS

TRUE

 Everybody feels stressed from time

to time

 It is a normal reaction

 It happens to us all in situations we

find stressful - at times of threat and
uncertainty, or when we have taken on too much

 Stress can be useful because it can help us perform better e.g.

a footballer before a match; before a class test or speaking out
loud in front of your class

FALSE

X If you feel stressed or anxious you have

a mental illness

X You should know exactly why you’re

feeling stressed

X You are weak if you feel stressed

When something is happening to us that we find scary or makes us feel

unsure, then it is normal to feel stressed. For example, imagine
someone who is scared of flying:

 They may think the flight will be awful or a disaster

 They may have threatening images running through their mind which
makes them feel stressed as a result.

 They may sometimes begin to feel sick, shaky and tense

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  The combination of how they think, how they feel and their body’s
response can be uncomfortable or overwhelming and very often,
they find it easier to avoid flying

This is an unhelpful reaction

Nevertheless other stress reactions can be helpful e.g.

 You are about to perform in a school performance

 You feel your body tense up but this makes you work harder and
perform better

 This is a helpful response

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 THE FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE

Mind signals Dizziness / light headedness /

danger unreal feeling due to change in
flow of blood
Breathing
changes Heart rate
increases

Adrenalin is Blood diverted to arms and

released legs so you can run faster

Shakiness as
Nausea /
muscles tense
butterflies

Sometimes when we feel stressed we are unaware of what is happening.

This can make us feel worse because we do not understand why we feel
the way we do. When this happens we can start to feel overwhelmed. By

stepping back and becoming more curious about what is

happening in both our bodies and our minds, we can start to identify when
we are starting to feel stressed and come up with ways to tackle this.

When we are feeling

stressed we can
sometimes tell where
exactly we feel it in our
bodies. People often say
that they feel like they
have butterflies in their
tummy, feel out of breath,
need to go to the loo and
feel tense.

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 Humans respond to stress in the same way as
animals. Think of a leopard padding along
quietly.

IT HEARS A NOISE. HOW DOES IT THEN REACT?

Spine gets longer and

stiffer so they can escape
more quickly – blood is sent Neck muscles fill with blood
to the legs to be stronger to keep the head steady
when fighting. and protect its spine while
allowing it to focus.

. .

Heart rate will get Freezes on the

faster to quickly send spot
the blood to where it is
needed most when
feeling threatened.

You may have felt a similar

way when you have been
stressed. This is a completely
normal stress response and is
known as FIGHT OR
FLIGHT. As well as
running away, sometimes when
you’re extremely stressed you
can freeze. This is called the
adrenaline response.

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 The FIGHT OR FLIGHT response can also happen because of a
psychological threat. The way we make sense of what is happening
around us guides how we react. We may be sitting at home worrying
about a class test or an argument we had with a friend in the
playground earlier that day. When we are sitting at home we are no
longer in the playground or doing the class test but we may still feel
stressed because we are thinking about it. This is unhelpful,
as there is no physical threat at that moment when you sitting at
home in your chair. A video that does a good job of explaining fight or
flight response can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEHwB1PG_-Q

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 WHAT CAUSES STRESS?

ANYTHING CAN CAUSE US TO FEEL STRESSED. THINGS THAT CAN

MAKE US FEEL STRESSED CAN BE SPLIT INTO TWO GROUPS
1. Internal stressors – These are things that go on
inside our head that make us feel anxious e.g. telling yourself you are no
good. As these thoughts are internal we can usually control them e.g.
being proud of yourself when you have done a good job.

I AM GOOD AND I DID

A GREAT JOB 

I’M NO GOOD 

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 EXAMPLES OF INTERNAL STRESSORS:

Negative Self Talk:

expecting the worst,
Mind Traps: Unrealistic
being hard on
expectations, taking
yourself, over-
things personally, all-or-
thinking.
nothing thinking,
exaggerating.

Stressful Personality
Type: Not being open-
minded, not being a good a
team member, being a
Lifestyle Choices: poor
people pleaser.
diet, not getting enough
sleep, not getting enough
exercise, spending too
much time watching TV or
online.

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 EXTERNAL STRESSORS

2. External stressors: There are also things going in the

world around us which can cause stress e.g. moving to a new school or starting a
new job. Often we may have less control, however we can sometimes take steps
to reduce this stress e.g. visit the school before you start to meet your new
peers and teachers.

Daily Hassles: e.g. forgetting your homework,

losing your favourite piece of clothing, bus Physical Environment: e.g.
breaking down on the way to school. being too noisy, being too
hot or being stuck in a small
space.

Organisational
Rules: e.g. School
rules, sports club Social: (interactions with
rules, code of other people) e.g. when
conduct where you someone else is rude, bossy,
work. rough or doesn’t listen to you.
Disagreement in relationships
with parents or friends.

Feeling lonely and left out.

Major Life Events: Moving house, a death, a change in family

circumstances or changing schools

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 FACTORS WHICH CAN INFLUENCE OUR INTERNAL AND
EXTERNAL STRESSORS INCLUDE:

 Our personality – who we are

 Learning
 How we react to things that happen in our lives

 How we look after ourselves e.g. making time to

relax, getting exercise

 How we talk to ourselves when facing stress –

e.g. mountains out of molehills

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 STRESS AND LEARNING

There are many things in our lives that can cause us stress. When stressful

things happen to us we learn how to deal with them and develop coping
skills. Some of these skills can be helpful, others can be unhelpful. Often
when we learn an unhelpful coping skill it will stay with us until we challenge it
and come up with new and better ways of coping.

EXAMPLES OF MAJOR LIFE EVENTS WHICH CAN CAUSE STRESS ARE:

 Moving to a new school

 Death of someone close

 Falling out with a friend

 Taking an exam

 Losing a family pet

 Moving house and leaving your friends

 Ill health or the ill health of someone close

Healthy coping strategies can help us move through this time in our
life e.g. looking after yourself, sharing how you feel, making time to relax.

Unhealthy coping strategies may make us feel

even worse, e.g. not getting enough sleep, not eating, having a
poor diet, drinking too many sugary or caffeinated drinks.

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 EXERCISE
Now let’s think about anything in your life that has made you stressed, now of
in the past. Inside the head below draw some internal stressors that may
have made you stressed:

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 EXERCISE

Now let’s think about any external stressors that have made you stressed
draw some external stressors in the boxes below.

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Now think back to one life event that you have experienced in the
past that you were able to manage well (watch out for your negative
self-talk when doing this exercise as it may cause you to forget all of
your many successes):

What did you do that allowed you to manage the situation?

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What would others see you doing that told them you were managing it?
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 HOW CAN STRESS BECOME A PROBLEM?

Stress is very unhelpful when:

 It happens repeatedly

 There is no threat

 When the threat is over, you still feel stressed for a long time

Stress is very unhelpful when it stops us from doing

things that we want to do in life. The earlier example of
avoiding flying highlights how stress can lead us to avoid things that we
find scary or worrying

Stress is very unhelpful when it affects our

performance, e.g. trying to finish your homework in
time or being able to concentrate in school. When we are
feeling very stressed our fight or flight response can kick in
and this can make it very difficult for us to concentrate,
speak clearly and to stay focused.

Stress is very unhelpful when you

start to worry about how your body
reacts when you are feeling stressed
Sometimes when we are feeling stressed we
recognize that our body is feeling tense but we
are unable to determine why. This can
sometimes cause us to imagine the worst e.g.
“I’m having a heart attack”. The more we can
recognize that this is a normal response when
we are feeling very stressed, the less likely we
are to worry about it when it happens.

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 Stress is very unhelpful when it is severe
and lasts for a long time. The longer we feel
stressed the more likely we are to begin to avoid the
situation or people that we think make us feel this way.

Stress is a very
common problem and
it causes a lot of
emotions and
feelings. The longer
you ignore it the
bigger a problem it
may become.

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 HOW STRESS CAN AFFECT YOU?
STRESS AFFECTS US IN 4 WAYS:

THE WAY OUR BODY THE WAY WE BEHAVE

WORKS

THE WAY WE THINK THE WAY WE FEEL

By understanding how stress affects us, we can learn to recognise the signs and
try to deal with them before feeling overwhelmed. Start to be curious about what
makes you tick without judging yourself.

 How you behave in situations

 How you feel about situations

 What you think of situations and

 What your body does in situations

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 OUR BODY- ACTIVITY

When we are stressed our bodies can become stiff and ready for action (fight or
flight), or we can feel slowed down and struggle to get through the day. The more
we can recognise these feelings the sooner we can respond in a more helpful manner.
Typical symptoms of stress include:

 Breathlessness  Stiff muscles

 Heart beating very fast  Feeling hot and cold

 Dry mouth  Flushing or sweating Headaches
 Dizziness or light
 Upset stomach
headedness

 Shakiness  Poor concentration

 Sickness  Tired a lot

 Wobbly legs and arms  Unable to sleep

Below are some common

D H H E V L J F S A Z V U X T
physical stress responses.
R B C Q Q N F E R J V N C B R
Try to find the one’s you

Y S U A Y L H W S P A O I R A have experienced in the

word search:
M H H F M C E I F B P R X E E
1. BREATHLESSNESS
O Y C A A O C P L F A Y A A H
2. DIZZINESS
U F I D K K T E D E R I T T G
3. HEADACHES
T K A T N I T S X V J R Y H N
4. SICKNESS
H E D E M O N K T R I T C L I
5. UNABLE TO SLEEP
H N S J S Z S E B E T C T E C
6. RACING HEART
B S Z L G D P M S Q S O T S A
7. STIFF MUSCLES
Y U E U H U Z H W S Z P X S R
8. UPSET STOMACH
E E D I Z Z I N E S S G U N Y

P S E L C S U M F F I T S E U 9. DRY MOUTH

H Y A J P B S N Y H R U S S J 10. SHAKINESS

R P F L U E X G Z E E T X S K 11. TIRED

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 OUR BEHAVIOUR - ACTIVITY

Stress affects how we behave and what we do in response to

stressful events. Typical behaviours when under stress:

 Stop looking after yourself  Stop doing things you enjoy

(poor diet and appearance)
 Cry a lot
 Biting nails, teeth grinding
 Unable to sit still
and pulling hair out
 Having arguments with
 Avoiding things we find
other people
stressful
 Hesitating
 Putting things off
 Speak faster
 Need to use the loo a lot

If we notice these feelings quickly we can do something to make ourselves feel

better. When you feel stressed, how do you feel?

Follow this link to access an activity surrounding how we behave in response to stress:
https://www.jigsawplanet.com/?rc=play&pid=2e6ca704ff4d

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 OUR THOUGHTS

Things that you might think when you are feeling very worried or
stressed:

 I can’t cope

 I’m useless

 They’re all looking at me

 They think I’m stupid

 I just want to get out of here

 They all know I can’t cope

 What’s the point in trying?

 Things never go right for me

 There must be something

wrong with me

The way we think about and understand the things that happen to us is what
makes us feel a certain way about it.

What thoughts go through your mind when you are feeling stressed?

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 OUR FEELINGS

Typical feelings when you are feeling stressed include:

 Sad

 Annoyed

 Angry

 Fed up

 Panicky

 Little interest in anything

 No excitement or interest

 Dislike yourself

 Feeling flat or low

 Easily upset

 Feeling unsure

 Hopeless

 Worried

These are but a few of the emotional responses we might feel when stressed. Below

is a crossword of emotional responses to stressed. Based on the emotions mentioned

above, how many can you figure out?

Across: 2. No Excitement or Interest; 3. Annoyed; 5. Sad; 7. Easily Upset; 8. Little Interest in Anything; 10. Hopeless;
11. Unsure; 12. Fed up.
Down: 1. Worried; 4. Dislike Yourself; 6. Panicky; 9. Angry.
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 Across
2. Having little or no enthusiasm
3. Feeling irritated or bothered
5. Feeling down or low
7. Very sensitive
8. You do not find many things engaging
10. Feeling like things are pointless or useless
11. Feeling of uncertainty
12. Feeling like you have had enough

Down
1. Feeling anxious or concerned
4. Negative opinion of self
6. Feeling frightened or alarmed
9. You feel like this when experiencing rage

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 WHAT KEEPS IT GOING?
The Vicious Cycle of Stress

Thoughts Feelings
I just can’t cope
Stressed,
with this
anymore Irritable

Physical
Responses Behaviours
Shaky, sick, Avoidance,
tingling, Doing too
tension much, Doing
too little

This cycle shows how our thinking, behavior, feelings, and how
our body feels are all linked. The more we experience a stressful
situation, the stronger this cycle gets. These workshops will help
you learn new ways to break this cycle and feel less stressed.

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 ACTIVITY

THINK ABOUT THE LAST TIME

YOU WERE FEELING A LITTLE BIT
STRESSED.
NOT THE MOST EXTREMELY STRESSFUL SITUATION YOU HAVE
EXPERIENCED JUST ONE WHERE YOU FELT A LITTLE STRESSED

SITUATION – what was going on around you?

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 THOUGHTS – what was going through your head at that time?

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FEELINGS – how were you feeling?

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 BEHAVIOUR – what did you do in response?

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BODILY RESPONSE – did you notice any tension, shakiness, sickness etc.?

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__
 Event/ Situation

Thoughts

Feeling
Bodily Response

Behaviour

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  Stress affects us in 4 ways: our thinking, feelings, behavior and bodily responses

 Stress is a normal reaction that we all experience – otherwise

known as fight or flight

 A vicious circle keeps stress going

 Everyone reacts differently to stress depending on their personality

and what is going on around them at the time

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 STEPS TO DEALING WITH STRESS

Lifestyle Changes That Can Help You Deal With Stress

Healthy Living: Diet

The way we feel physically, affects how well we cope
with stress. Quite often when we are stressed we can
forget to eat, or eat a lot of unhealthy junk food.

Tips for a healthy diet include:

 Avoid drinks which are high in sugar or caffeine

 Eat five fruit and vegetables a day

 Drink lots of water

 Have breakfast, lunch and dinner or healthy snacks and

do not miss out on breakfast

Healthy Living: Exercise

It is a fact that exercise improves our mood by working off tension and boredom. By
scheduling time for exercise you are making time for yourself and it can be a way
of:

 Making new friends

 Finding new hobbies

 Helping your body feel less tense which helps you to sleep better

Remember to: Choose something you enjoy!

Make lots of time to exercise

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 (N.B. Consult your GP before changing your exercise regime)

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Healthy Living: Sleep
Too much or too little sleep affects how we
feel when we wake up and how we feel
throughout the day. We all need different
amounts of sleep and have different ways of
helping ourselves to fall asleep. When you
are stressed you might find it hard to fall
asleep or you might wake up suddenly during
the night.

Tips which aid better sleep include:

 Relaxing before going to bed to help you to unwind

 Avoiding caffeinated drinks in the evenings

 Trying to switch off your worries by writing them

down

 Making time the next day when you will tackle the things that are
worrying you, instead of focusing on them when you are trying to sleep

 Keeping your bedroom tidy

 Trying to avoid watching TV or using the internet in bed

 Trying not to think about your worries when you are trying to fall
asleep

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 FIRST STEPS TO CONTROLLING YOUR STRESS
One of the best things we can learn to do to make ourselves feel less worried is to
control our breathing

CONTROLLING OVER-BREATHING

Look out for the early warning signs of

over-breathing:

 Chest feels tight

 Difficulty getting your breath

 Breathing very fast

When we have too much air in our lungs it can actually feel as though we can’t get
a breath in when in fact the opposite is true. Use these First Steps to keep it
under control:

First Steps

 Slow down

 Breathe out, really emptying the lungs

 Place one hand on your chest, one on your stomach

 Repeat a helpful word to yourself e.g. “relax”, “slow”, “calm”

 Breathe in through your nose counting 1… 2… 3… slowly

 You may notice your belly expand on the in-breath

 Breathe out through your mouth counting 1… 2… 3… slowly

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 RELAXATION
Relaxation is an important skill that can help us manage stress by taking time out
to unwind. When we recognize that we are stressed e.g. we notice our body is
feeling tense or we are thinking unhelpful thoughts that make us feel worried,
we can then take some time to relax to make ourselves feel better and break
the cycle of stress.

There are many different forms of relaxation from:

 Simply taking time out

 Sitting comfortably and controlling our breath

 Listening to nice music

 Meeting a friend

 Visualization/ meditation

 Muscle relaxation (This is helpful because it helps us slow down our bodies
when we are feeling stressed and tense)

Remember: everyone finds different things relaxing and different activities can
relax us at different times.

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* EXERCISE 5 *

TYPES OF RELAXATION

Take a few minutes to think about the ways you relax at the moment. If you don’t
take time to relax, think about what stops you from taking time out and how you could
create ‘me’ time?

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What stops me from taking time to myself to relax?

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Internal barriers How they could External barriers How they could
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be overcome be overcome
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 TIPS TO HELP YOU RELAX

1. Get as comfy as you can before you start. Wear loose clothes and take off
your shoes. Make sure the room is warm. If you can, turn your phone off.

Make sure no one comes in the room while you are having this time to relax. If

they want to join in from the start then that is fine.

2. Using relaxation audio is a good idea. You can find relaxation audio clips on the
SafeSpot app. To get used to it, play it when you are feeling fairly calm. You will

be able to concentrate better. This will let you pick up the skill more quickly.

Don’t worry at first if you get distracted by worrying thoughts, don’t give up, it

will take practice to learn. However, the more you practice relaxation the easier

you will find it to control your inner self talk and the calmer and more in control

you will feel.

3. As with learning any skill, practice makes perfect. So do something each day
which helps you to relax. Try and build it into a routine -perhaps at the same

time each day.

4. Don’t worry about how well or badly you are doing. Most people find that
their mind wanders during the first few weeks. This is normal. As you get used

to it, this will improve.

5. Practice slowing down your breathing at various times of the day. You can time it
using your watch or phone. This will help you keep your body calm.

6. Muscle Relaxation can leave you feeling drowsy. Some people fall asleep. If you
are one of them, don’t worry, just remember that you are learning a new skill.

7. You may find that when you tense your muscles, you hold your breath. Don’t
worry; most people do this at the start.

8. Keep a diary and check your progress as the days go by.

9. It’s a good idea to use a relaxation audio clip on a regular basis until you find
you can relax well unassisted.

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 SUPPORT NETWORK

When feeling stressed we sometimes like to be on our own, at a time when

speaking to other people would be very helpful.

Speaking to others can help make you feel better and help us come up with better
ways to make ourselves making ourselves feel less stressed.

YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK ACTIVITY

Make a note of the people who are around you and think about what support is
available to you.

WHO IS AROUND YOU?

WHO CAN YOU TALK TO?

WHO CAN YOU GET EMOTIONAL / PRACTICAL HELP FROM?

HOW CAN OTHERS TELL HOW YOU ARE FEELING?

WHO ELSE COULD YOU LOOK TO FOR SUPPORT BEYOND THE CURRENT
SUPPORT?

If you have answered nobody to the above questions then please consider the
list of resources you have been given at the back of this workbook.
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 SUMMARY QUIZ

1. Who can get stressed?

A. Adults only
B. Everyone
C. People with mental health issues
D. People with fast-paced jobs

2. What is not a symptom of the flight or fight response?

A. Change in breathing
B. Shakiness
C. Random limb movements
D. Heart rate increases

3. Which of the following is an example of an internal stressor?

A. Organisational rules
B. Major life event
C. Social factors
D. Mind traps

4. Pick 3 helpful coping strategies which could help with stress:

A. Taking time to relax
B. Skipping meals
C. Talking to someone about your worries
D. Doing something you enjoy

5. Which of the following is not a part of the vicious cycle of stress?

A. Social interactions
B. Thoughts
C. Feelings
D. Behaviours

Answers: 1-B; 2-C; 3-D; 4-B; 5-A

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 THINGS TO TRY

 Over the next week try to notice when you feel stressed. What is the situation –
who are you with? What are you doing? Where are you?

 Are there similar situations where you don’t feel stressed? When you are coping
well? What are you and others around you doing differently?

 When you use your breathing control or relaxation – make a note of how it
went. Was it helpful?

 Try some new activities e.g. join an after school club or sports team. This might
help you find something new that you like and make some new friends.

Session 2 – Behaviour and Stress

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 USEFUL CONTACTS

 Childline
o Phone: 0800 1111 (free 24 hour)
o www.childline.org.uk
 Mental Health Foundation
o Information and support for anyone with mental health problems or
learning disabilities
o www.mentalhealth.org.uk
 Mind
o Promotes views and needs of people with mental health problems
o Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm)
o Website: www.mind.org.uk
 NHS
o NHS 24: phone 111
o www.nhs.org.uk
 PAPYRUS
o Young suicide prevention
o Phone: 0800 068 4141 (Mon-Fri,10am-5pm &7-10pm. Weekends 2-
5pm).
o www.papyrus-uk.org
 Rethink Mental Illness
o Support and advice for people living with mental illness
o Phone: 0800 5000 927 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-4pm)
o www.rethink.org
 SafeSpot
o An app and website designed for young people to improve coping skills
and access information about mental health
o Website: www.safespot.org.uk
o App: available on Google play/Apple store for free
 Samaritans
o Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or
despair
o Phone: 116 123 (free, 24hour)
o www.samaritans.org.uk

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