Republic of the Philippines

JOSE RIZAL MEMORIAL STATE UNIVERSITY

The Premier University in the Province of Zamboanga del Norte
Siocon Campus, Siocon, Zamboanga del Norte

SELF AWARENESS
CHAPTER II

Learning Objectives:
At the end of the chapter, the student learner should be able to:
1. Define Self – Awareness and Self – Concept
2. Discuss the Importance of the development of social self.
3. Deepen understanding of emotional competence and its basic elements
4. Determine the relationship between emotional intelligence and emotional competence.
5. Develop the self – valuing process.
6. Identify personal strengths and weaknesses toward self – understanding.

The great philosopher Aristotle said that knowing and understanding one’s self is the key to
true knowledge.
What is true knowledge then?
It is knowing who you are, what you are in this earth for, where you are going, and how you
can get there. (Herrera, M.M., Coloma, T.M.)

Life will not be meaningful unless we know and understand what our reasons are for being
in this world.

Sometimes people become irrational individuals. We are not aware of what we are, we are
not aware of what we have, we are not aware of the persons surrounding us, we are not aware are
happening in this world, we are not aware of attitudes we have, we are not aware of what kind of
behaviors we have and we are not even aware of the persons who care for us.
It has been said that self – awareness is very important to an individual in knowing himself.
Webster’s medical dictionary defines self – awareness as an awareness of one’s own
personality or individuality. The American heritage dictionary defines self – awareness as the
awareness of oneself, including one’s traits, feelings and behaviors. Stedman’s medical dictionary
states that self – awareness is the realization of oneself as an individual entity or personality.

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 Self awareness offers a sure rudder for keeping our career decisions in harmony with our
deepest value. The less aware we are what makes as passionate, the more lost we will be. (Daniel
Goleman)
According to Tao Tzu, “knowing others is wisdom but knowing yourself is enlightenment.”
Awareness is the first step in the creation process. As you grow in self – awareness, you will better
understand why you feel what you and why you behave as you behave. That understanding then
gives you opportunity and freedom to change those things you would like to change about yourself
and create the life you want. Without fully knowing who you are, self – acceptance and change
become impossible.
Having clarity about who you are and what you want (and why you want it) empowers you
to consciously and actively make those wants a reality. Otherwise, you will continue to get “caught
up” in your internal dramas and unknown beliefs, allowing unknown though processes to
determine your feelings and actions.
If you think about it, not understanding why you do what you do, and feel what you feet is
like going through your life with a stranger’s mind. How do you make wise decisions and choices if
you don’t understand why you want you want? It’s a difficult and chaotic way to live never knowing
what this stranger is going to do next.
When we want good, solid information, we turn to the experts. So, whom are you going to
turn to for information about yourself? Who’s the expert? Does a friend, a therapist, your hero, your
spouse, your parents, know more about you than you do? They can’t. You live in your skin and mind
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks a year. Day in and day out. No one’s closer to you than
you.
Self – awareness includes recognition of our personality, our strengths and weaknesses, our
likes and dislikes. Developing self – awareness can help us to recognize when we are stressed or
under pressure. It is also often a prerequisite for effective communication and interpersonal
relations, as well as for developing empathy for others.
In our experience, self – awareness is the key that unlocks the riches of life. We have all the
answers we need to the questions of our lives right inside of us. All we have to do is to learn how to
access our own wisdom. This begins with self – awareness. Paying attention to our many senses,
thoughts, feelings and intuition. Diving deep into our emotions to tap their sources. Seeing our
thinking and how it creates our reality. Discovering our deepest essence. They all begin with self –
awareness.

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 Activity 1 A Journey to a Good Life

Instructions:
A. Make a drawing that would show an Ideal Day in the life you would like to have 5 – 10 years
from now. Be as creative and imaginative as you can. Consider the following questions in
your drawing.
a. Who are you?
b. Where are you?
c. Whom do you live with?
d. What are you doing?
e. How do you feel about your life?

B. Creatively/ artistically fill up the following circles using any coloring material and pencil.

What made me aspire for such life?

What kind of life do I like to have? What steps will I take to achieve this life?

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 From the journal of rehabilitation, does self – consciousness affect how a person thinks or
behaves in different situations? Social scientist and psychologist have studied this question for over
a century and many have said, “yes, it does.”
For instance, giving a presentation, interviewing for a job, and inviting someone on a date
are common situations that will likely cause a person to feel more aware and sometimes self –
critical. After such an event, the person may feel quite negatively about his or her appearance and
performance. “I was terrible” “Now they will never hire me!” “I looked foolish!”
It has been exhaustively discussed among scholars that inherit to such self – conscious
events lies a “fulcrum” of awareness that balances a person directly between the anxiety provoking
experience of self as both object and subject.
One of the things in knowing yourself is being aware of who you are and what you are to
your community. You can improve your characteristics and personality to make yourself become
an asset to your family and the nation.
Your image of who you are called self – concept. It is composed of feelings, thoughts,
strengths and weaknesses abilities and limitations. The self concept develops from three sources as
presented by Chaun (2002): a) other’s image, b) social comparisons and c) interpretations and
evaluations:

Others’ Images

How do significant others see me?

SELF - CONCEPT

Interpretations/evaluations Social comparison

IMPORTANCE OF SELF – AWARENESS

Understanding the way your self – concept develops increases your self – awareness. The
more you understand why you view yourself as you do, the better you will understand who you
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are. One way to gain self – awareness is by using the Johari Window of the self as noted by Chaulan,
(2002).
The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950’s as
a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing self from a fixed list of adjectives, then
asking friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference
can be built up.

Activity 2: Pick the five or six words that you feel best describe you, from the list below:

Able Accepting Adaptable Bold Brave

Calm Caring Cheerful Clever Complex
Confident Dependable Dignified Energetic Extroverted
Friendly Giving Happy Helpful Idealistic
Independent Ingenious Intelligent Introverted Kind
Knowledgeable Logical Loving Mature Modest
Nervous Observant Organized Patient Powerful
Proud Quiet Reflective Relaxed Religious
Responsible Searching Self – assertive Self – conscious Sensible
Sentimental Shy Silly Spontaneous Sympathetic
Tense Trustworthy Warm Wise Witty

a. Now that you’ve picked five or six words, choose a partner from among your classmates and
share honestly your responses on the given instructions.
b. Write honestly the name and responses of your partner/classmate.

There are four (4) selves that represent each human person:

Known to self Not known to self

Known to others 1. OPEN SELF 3. BLIND SELF
Not known to others 2. HIDDEN SELF 4. UNKNOWN SELF

 The Open Self – represents all the information, behaviors, attitudes, feelings, desires,
motivations, ideas and so on, that you know about yourself and that other also knows about
you.
 The Blind Self – represents information about yourself that others know but you do not.
 The Unknown Self – represents those parts of yourself about which neither you nor others
know.
 Hidden Self – contains all that you know of yourself but keep hidden from others.

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THE IMPORTANCE OF THE DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIAL SELF
The development and molding of an individual usually begins in the family. The kind of
people around you and your environment where you grew contribute to what you become.
Generally the human infant is born helpless, ignorant and without any sense of self. The self
arises in a process of social interaction and social activity. This starts from birth when parents hold
their baby and attend to his needs. Normally, the child becomes the center of family, warmth,
affection and care and so that he becomes egocentric or self – centered. If love and warmth are not
sufficiently given, emotional deprivation results (Perucci and Knudsen, 1983: 150). The baby learns
that certain gestures like crying, smiling and reaching out will elicit responses from those around
him. He is, thus, initiated into learning the language of the group. He can feel the love and warmth
of the people around him as much as others like negative or positive attitudes.
Within two years, the child develops a kind of crude self – awareness. Aiding him in
acquiring sense of self is his being named and singled out from other persons (Lidesmith, Strauss,
Denzin, 1977: 312). At an early age among the most significant socialization activities are those that
have to do with self. Through his contact with mother, father, brother, sister or the yaya, he
gradually sees himself as an object. In this relationship, the parents apply certain cultural
expectations or standards that the child has to internalize as he matures. He then discovers that
some of his demands are met while others are not. In the course of his more extensive and complex
social relations with his family, and later with his playmates, the child becomes more aware of the
points of view of other persons. He finds out that other points of view are often at variance with his
own and must be taken into account.
Children playfully imitate the role of others like those of father, mother, brother, sister,
teacher, and playmate. As they play more (bahay – bahayan), school (eskwela – eskwelahan), or
selling and buying (tenda – tindahan), they develop the ability to see themselves from the points of
view of others. A child’s playing the roles of others has parallel in actual life in his interactions with
parents, relatives, playmates and schoolmates and gradually he adjusts his own behavior to the
expectations of others. Often, he identifies himself with persons who have been influential or
important in shaping his self – image. These are sometimes called “significant others”. They become
models of behavior for the child. When the child has developed the ability to grasp the role and
attitudes of other persons and visualizes himself through the eyes of others, he has already
acquired a social self.
This is what Cooley (1952) calls the “looking glass self.” Cooley wrote: As we see…. Our face,
figure and dress in the glass, and are interested in them because they are ours, and pleased or
otherwise with them according as they do or do not answer to what we should like them to be. So,
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in imagination we perceive in another’s mind some thoughts of appearance, manners, aims, deeds,
character, friends, and so on, and are variously affected by it.
Three elements that are involved in this looking glass self:
1. Our imagination of our own appearance to the other person.
2. Our imagination of his judgment of that appearance
3. Some sort of self – feeling such as pride or mortification.

This means that things one sees, experiences and perceives affect the social development of
his being an individual.

THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE

Emotional competence in the workplace spells the difference between the outstanding
performer and the poor or mediocre performer.
Emotional competence builds one’s emotional intelligence. Cooper and Sawaf (1997) define
emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize emotions and use thee as source of human energy,
information, connection and influence.

FIVE BASIC ELEMENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELIGENCE

(Goleman, 1998)
1. Self – awareness – knowing what the feelings are at the moment and using preferences to
guide our decision – making, having a realistic assessment of our own abilities, and a well –
grounded sense of confidence.
2. Self – regulation. Handling our emotions so that they facilitate, rather than interfere, with
the task on hand, being conscientious and delaying gratification in order to pursue goals or
recovering well from emotional distress.
3. Motivation. Using our deepest preferences to move, guide us toward our goals, to help us
take initiative and strive to improve, and to persevere in the face of setbacks and
frustrations.
4. Empathy. Sensing what people are feeling, being able to take their perspectives and
cultivating rapport and attunement with a broad diversity of people.
5. Social Skills. Handling emotions well in relationship, accurately reading social
developments and lead in disputes for cooperation and teamwork.

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 Goleman points out that our emotional intelligence determines our potential for learning the
practical skills. To excel in the workplace, a person has to develop emotional competencies.
Emotional competence is a learned capability based on emotional intelligence that results into
outstanding performance at work. Emotional competence shows how much of that potential we
have translated into day – to – day activities and on – the – job competence based on self –
regulation, or handling impulses and emotions as well. Both customer service and trustworthiness
are competencies that can make people outstanding in their work.
In knowing oneself, there is a prerequisite of honesty and courage; some people are not
prepared to face the truth about themselves. For example, a student may use his perceived self –
image as a fun – loving person as an excuse for doing poorly in his school grades. In reality, he is a
procrastinator, and puts of doing his homework or studying for the exams till the last minute.
When you know who you are, you may have to change and some people just do not want to
change because changing demands effort. Self – awareness requires honesty and courage to get in
touch with what we are thinking and feeling and to face the truth about ourselves.
There are benefits of self – awareness: the better you understand yourself, the better you
are able to accept or change who you are. Being in the dark about yourself means that you will
continue to get caught up in your own internal struggles and allow outside forces to mold and
shape you. As we move toward the 21 st century, the knowledge based economy demands that we
upgrade our knowledge and skills to keep up with the ever – changing society. However, the
starting point should be knowledge of oneself as unique individual and how one relates to this new
economy. The clarity with which you can answer these questions: “Who am I?” “Where have I
been?” “When am I going?” determines your capability to chart your own destiny and realize your
innate potentials.
In the realistic view of self – awareness, do not think of yourself more highly than you
should. In other words, don’t adapt the attitude of superiority. Rather, have a realistic view of your
strengths. On the other hand, do not exaggerate your weakness and look down on yourself. Also, do
not excuse or rationalize your weakness. We need a realistic view of both our strengths and
weaknesses if we are to know our true selves. How we see ourselves may be clouded by the
feedbacks we receive about ourselves from others… But how could anyone know about you more
than you? They do not face the issues that you wrestled with. No one could know you better than
you! Therefore, do not let others look down upon you?
Some people may not be prepared to face the truth about themselves. Therefore, everyone
must be prepared to listen to others, especially the significant others. Allow them to reexamine
your own perceived self – image. There are no perfect people and there are no perfect parents.
Nevertheless, from a practical viewpoint, our parents who gave us life have the opportunity to
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observe us at close quarters over many years, would have clearer insights of our character more
than anybody else. You don’t have to accept their but at least listen to them.

Activity 3: SELF AWARENESS QUESTIONS ON IDENTIFYING OWN SELF

1. What are my strengths?
What are my weaknesses?
2. How do my friends describe me?
Do I agree with their descriptions? Why or why not?
3. What specific elements were present when you felt that way?
4. How can I be a better person?
5. What of my personal and unique gifts have I taken for granted?

GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Answer all the activities given after each lesson (Activity 1: A & B; Activity 2; and Activity 3).
2. Write your answers in a long white bond paper.
3. Deadline of Submission: October 23, 2021

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