Oral History Report

Denise Bohn
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Table of Contents

Paraphrased Q&A 2

Reflection: 3

Transcript: 4
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Paraphrased Q&A
Q-What do you think is most important in building a relationship?
A- Put the other person first and make them feel heard and validated.

Q-Which people had the most effect on your life?

A- Her mom. She was always very supportive and a good guide in her life.

Q-Did you have any heroes giving up?

A- There were the shows of the day and she looked up to some characters
there but also wanted the validation and approval from her father.

Q-What has the difference, or what, what do you think is the difference between
dating when you were a teenager and dating as it is now?
A- There is miles of difference but it is still a little bit the same. There used
to be a lot of movies (which still happens) but a lot more ice cream shop dates. Ice
cream shops were also different.

Q-What has the hardest challenge been in your life and how did you overcome it?
A- Raising two kids as a single mother and having a career at the same time.She
had a lot of family support and support from her ex. She is still struggling with
losing her late husband.

Q-What do you want your legacy to be?

A- Good memories of a happy family.

Q-What advice do you have for my generation?

A- Don’t be afraid to live your life. If something sounds interesting, go for it.

Q-What do you think made your devoirse work to still allow a little bit of a
friendship?
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A- Focusing on what is best for the kids and wanting them to be happy and not
suffer.
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Reflection:
At the beginning of this project I wasn’t completely sure how it would turn

out. I had multiple people that I could interview but I didn’t know who to pick.

Eventually I settled on doing it for my grandma.

I had hoped to learn about her childhood and to learn about how different

our generations are. I didn’t end up preparing too many questions about childhood

so the interview went into a little bit of a different direction. There were some

fun stories that she still shared with me and I was able to learn a lot. I think I am

happy with how everything turned out pretty well.

It was cool to learn about the dating world and how my grandmother met

both of my grandfathers. I am thankful that I asked about it. I like to hear stories

about that sort of thing.

Learning the history about my grandma’s church attendance has also cleared

things for me a lot. I understand the course of her life a lot more. It was also a

good chance for me to learn about her feelings about ordinances after death. That

is actually a thought that I have been worrying about in the back of my mind for

most of my life. Most people probably wouldn’t think that too important or notice it

as much but it made me very thankful for a chance.

While the interview didn’t go how I thought it would, I am thankful for this

project. It turned out very well and I am glad that I decided to interview my

grandma for it.

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Transcript:
(With help from Temi.com)

Jessica: My name is Jessica Cowley. And I'm here with Denise Bohn. It is
December 7th at 7:06 PM. Thank you for doing this interview with me.

Denise: You're welcome.

Jessica: So the first question is, where and when were you born?

Denise: I was born October 1st, 1955 in Dallas, Texas.

Jessica: How big was your family growing up?

Denise: I had one sister and of course my mom and dad. And I heard that my mom
had a stillbirth between me and my sisters. So we would've been three, but we
were just two, my sister and I.

Jessica: What dreams did you have as a kid? And did they come true?

Denise: Oh boy. When you say kid, give me an idea. When I was in high school, I was
going to be a beautician. I don't know where I got that, but I got a scholarship to
go to beautician school. And then my plans changed. I married your grandfather
and I had your mother and put all that to the side. And then I went into accounting
family business.

Jessica: So, were either of your parents in accounting too?

Denise: Yes, my mom. She was in accounting and worked my entire childhood and
even into adulthood until she retired, she was always an accountant.
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Jessica: And, what does a beautician do?

Denise: She does hair. Okay. I guess I call them stylists now, but they used to call
them beauticians.

Jessica: Did you have any heroes growing up?

Denise: Well, the shows were like wonder woman and $6 million man back then.
<Laugh> We can rebuild him, da, da, da. So of course those are my heroes, but you
know, I... Heroes, I always wanted the validation for my dad and he was a little bit
sparse in giving it out. So I always kind of looked up to my dad whenever there was
family conflict. It was always my dad and I against mom and my sister. So because
there were the four of us, there was no tie breaker <Laugh> so there were a lot of
family arguments.

Jessica: What was it like growing up with your sister and your parents?

Denise: Pam was two years older than me, so we were close, but again, you know how
siblings are? We fought a lot. My mom and dad always worked. So when we were
two young, to stay by ourselves, in the summer, when school was out, my parents
would take us to see my grandmother in Iowa and we would stay the full summer in
Iowa with my dad's parents. And that was some special times too. Yes. Then we got
old enough to stay by ourselves. And in the summers we lived in an apartment
complex and we had a pool. So my mom said we can go the pool unless it was 80
degrees. So we were watching the thermostat really closely. We call back then you
couldn't just open an app. So we have to call time and temperature. So we called it
every 10 minutes until it was eighty degrees. And then we called my mom it's eighty
degrees. Can we go to the pool? She said, yes. So we'd spend our days at the pool
every day we lived in Texas, of course, but those were some good memories.

Jessica: So you've mentioned living in Texas and then going to see your
grandparents in Iowa. Why did you end up coming to Utah?
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Denise: About when I was, I was 15, my dad got an to take a job in salt lake city.
And of course my mom and my sister, they were like, this is an opportunity to get
my dad to go to church more often. And maybe we can go to the temple and all be
sealed together. Of course, you know, that didn't work out. But so my dad was just
looking for a good job and I didn't want to go. I was my sister graduated in Texas,
but I was only in 10th grade, so it was tough for me, but that's why we came to
Utah and I'm glad we did.

Jessica: What was school like for you growing up?

Denise: When I was in Texas, I was in a brand new school. We lived in Irving,
Texas, and at the end of the street and down half a block was our school. And it
was a new school, so it started out in like sixth, seventh and eighth grade. And then
it went seventh, eighth, ninth grade, and then ninth, tenth and eleventh grade. And
then it became a full high school. So I was going to be there for all my high school
days, but from sixth grade on, but that, it didn't work out cuz we moved and I
went to Brighton high school when I came to Utah and I met your grandpa and it
was hard. It was really hard because you know alliances had all been formed at that
age. So it was pretty tough to get in with the crowd. But I had some friends
through our ward and that was about the only friends that I made.

Jessica: You said you met grandpa at high school. How did you meet him?

Denise: He was in our ward. Yeah. Okay. He used to, I remember he used to call me
up and this was a long time ago, Jessie, but they had, they were the Jones's
weren't very well off. They had a party line. I know you probably don't know what
that is, but it's when you share your phone with someone else, another family. You
know, so you like split the phone bill. So whenever he'd call me up and we'd chat,
people would like be picking up and interrupting our conversation. You know, we
didn't talk on the phone much, but because of that but yes, that's how we met. We
went to a couple of dances together. Your grandfather's senior prom and then we
got married and the rest is history. <Laugh>
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Jessica: How soon did you get married after High school?

Denise: After high school, one month.

Jessica: What is the difference, or what, what do you think is the difference
between dating when you were a teenager and dating as it is now?

Denise: <Laugh> Miles of difference? Yes. There's a lot of online dating now I'm
hearing, but you know, back in the day it was like, we'd go get ice cream or go to a
movie. Of course that is, is pretty similar. But you know, the ice cream shops are a
lot different. That was my first job working at an ice cream store, scooping ice
cream and making Sundays and things like that. It was called Fernwoods and it was
in the Cottonwood mall. And so it was, I guess it was in some is really similar and in
some ways so different, but yeah, the times online dating, ah, scary.

Jessica: Which people had the most impact in your life and why?

Denise: Probably my mom, she was super supportive when I was 18. My mom and dad
got divorced and I finished out my high school and graduated. And we were, we had
my mom and I, my dad left and my mom and I had to get an apartment together
and she was super supportive of my relationship with her grandfather and of the
choices that I made. And she also was in accountings. So that seemed like the way
to go. Plus she helped me get jobs and that's how I got my foot in the door.

Jessica: Did she also work at Ken Garff?

Denise: No, she did not.

Jessica: Where did she work?

Denise: She worked at a place called Salt Lake Clinic. She did billing and stuff like
that, so it was basically accounting, but it was a little different accounting.
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Jessica: How did you come to work at Ken Garff?

Denise: That's a good question. I worked at a little accounting firm and one of the
girls that hung around with one of my bosses, who was a single, he met her at the
singles' ward. Her name was Sharon. She said my boss is looking for an accounting
person, and so she set up an appointment for me and that’s how I got the job. It
was in 1983.

Jessica: Do you know how many years you were at Ken Garff?

Denise: 30 plus.

Jessica: <Laugh>

Denise: Yeah.

Jessica: Did you like working at Ken Garff?

Denise: I did. They were always really good to me. And of course it went through a
lot of changes in those 30 years, but it was a very comfortable place and it was
usually a place that if you kept your nose clean and did your job then you would
work up the ranks. And I did. For 30 years.

Both: <Laugh>

Jessica: How have you changed over time?

Denise: Oh my, well, I'm not the wide eyed, the world is my oyster kind of person
that I always was before, but I've always been kind of an optimistic person and a
perky person. And I think I still am, but in a lot of ways, especially losing your
grandpa, that was really hard for me to overcome, but I haven't lost my optimism
and my excitement for life. What's life gonna bring me next. And here I am living
with you and your family. <Laugh> That's what life is bringing me.
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Jessica: What social and political changes have you seen through of your life?
Denise: Oh that's a good one. Well as far as politics go, some things never change,
but I, I think it really hit home when Trump was in the presidency because that
was, I think the biggest embarrassment to our country to ever happen. And I have
looked at things really closely since then. I watched the news a lot more now than I
used to because I'm more interested in what's going on in the world. Whereas
when I was married to Michael he, we talked a lot and he watched a news and read
the newspaper every day and he told me what was going on and now I have to find
out for myself. So I'm watching it. And it is a little scary. I think morals have
changed a lot and there's, I think there was a lot more really dedicated people
with higher standards than are running the country these days. It's hard to find
those people with good morals that are running the country.

Jessica: You said that grandpa Bohn used to tell you about what was going on the
news. Did you, do you like-- I'm trying to figure out how to phrase this--Did you
prefer that over watching the news yourself or do you think watching the news
yourself has helped?

Denise: I think watching the news myself should have probably been something
that I've been done before should have been done before, but because your
grandfather and I, we always had dinner together in the evenings and he would tell
me of current events and we'd chat and we played cards every morning. And he'd
tell me about things that he read in the newspapers. So he just kept me informed
and it was easy. Then, I didn't have to do the work myself. So now I think I'm
being a little more politically and current things happening in the world informed on
my own. You know, he, I probably didn't hear it all because he probably didn't think
it was very interesting where some things would be more interesting to me. So I
think I'm being more well rounded.

Jessica: What has the hardest challenge been in your life and how did you
overcome it?
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Denise: <Laugh> I'm still overcoming it <laugh> oh, well, when your grandpa Jones
and I got divorced and I had to raise your mom and your uncle alone, that was a
challenge, but grandpa Jones was always there to help me financially and with the
children. So I would say my biggest challenge would be raising two kids as a single
mother and trying to have a career at the same time. I got a lot of, I had a lot of
family support from my sister. And of course your grandfather, so they were, they
picked up the slack so that I could have somewhat of a, of a social life and keep a
career going and children, family time too. But the other challenge of course, is
when I lost your grandpa Bohn. And I'm still getting over that one. <Laugh>

Jessica: What brought, what brings you comfort with those challenges?

Denise: Well, when I look back and I think about raising two children alone I think
that both of my kids turned out famously in spite of my ex-husband and I, I
<laugh>, they just everybody will tell me you were a good mother, but I don't really
think I was, but I look back and I, I see how my children are now and I am
certainly grateful. I see the fruits of all of those late nights and the, "oh, mom, I
have a report due tomorrow." Those kind of challenges.

Jessica: How do you feel about pop culture and society today?

Denise: I'm not sure, I know what that means, Jessica.

Jessica: So like pop culture is like the current trends, the current stars, the
current, like I would consider text talk part of pop culture, the current cultures,

Denise: Just like music?

Jessica: Music is a big one. I feel like TV: it could also be a big one, which you have
watched a lot of that.

Denise: Oh yeah, I embrace that fully.

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Jessica: And so like that. And then like the societal movements, which also kind of
goes into the politics that I talked about a minute ago.
Denise: Mm-Hmm.

Jessica: And like, what has become more acceptable or less acceptable in society
since like, when you were younger and stuff like that.

Denise: Well, like most old people change is difficult for me, but texting certainly
makes it easier sometimes when I think, how did we ever find our way to places
without Google maps? <Laugh> We had regular maps or we just got directions, you
know what I mean? And you can't just call from your phone. So, I mean, the
convenience is that we all have now are just so wonderful and help keep us safe,
especially. And so yeah, I'm all for it. I'm totally embracing it. I don't embrace all
the technology of course, because I push back and it's, it's a little harder for me,
but luckily I have grandkids to help me.

Jessica: I mean, you're better than Gibbs.

Denise: <Laugh>

Jessica: What advice do you have for my generation?

Denise: Don't be afraid to live your life. I know that taking chances is hard, but
whether you're talking about a boy, a career and of course now you're not thinking
about careers right now, Jessie, you're a little young for tha, but schooling or
whatnot. Don't be afraid to take a chance if you see something you'd like to do, go
for it. That's my biggest message to you.

Jessica: I'm trying to think of how to phrase a question... How, so you said if, if you
see something that you sounds like you would enjoy to like go for it, but how do you
think one could make decisions between different things that would sound
interesting or sound like they could be interested in?
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Denise: You mean like well you have to do the research or if somebody talks about
something that, oh, that sounds interesting. Try it. You know, don't, I mean, I know
you're really busy with school and I'm not talking about you in particular, although
I know you are busy with school, but kids in general, you know if you see something
that looks interesting, you know, could turn out to be your next career or your
perfect job or your perfect mate, you know, I mean, if you're looking around and
your eyes are open and you're doing your research and you see something that,
that might be interesting, then don't be afraid to go for it, put yourself out there.

Jessica: Okay... What would you consider the meaning of life?

Denise: Hmm. The meaning of life.

Denise: I would say family. It all boils down to family doesn't it? I think I see
people that are in a family rift or they don't they're estranged from each other,
you know, siblings and that, and we only get the one family. So I just have never
been able to understand it. I mean, in my opinion, to each their own, everyone
should do what they want to do and what they feel they are, you do you sort of
thing--pop culture reference--and and just accept, accept your family members for
who they are, because you're never going to be able to change them and you don't
wanna take a chance in being estranged from them because when you get older, like
me, family's about all you got.

Jessica: So I meant to mention this at the beginning, but if there's anything that
I, that ask you don't feel particularly comfortable with answering, then you can
just tell me and we'll move on. But you, you mentioned how you feel like everything
boils down to family. And I, you also mentioned that you, your family never got the
chance to be sealed. Is that something that you think one day you would like to
happen or that you feel like you missed?

Denise: I think there was a small, window of opportunity for us to embrace the
LDS church and we didn't do it. And then when your grandfather and I got married
before Jennifer was born, we did go to church and I just kind of didn't think it
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was for me. So I opted out of it. And I think your grandfather did too. So I, I
wonder how things would've been different if we had, but we didn't. And so these
are the choices that I've made in my life

Jessica: With. So with the church and stuff, we do a lot of work for the dead. Do
you think that one day you would want us to do work for you after you pass away
or?

Denise: Sure. I always like to hedge my bits.

Both: <Laugh>

Denise: Just in case I missed out on the boat in this life I would. And all of it is
true. All of the teachings that I've been taught and my younger years were true
then, Yeah. I'm jumping on board for sure. So sign me up.

Jessica: Okay. what do you want your legacy to be?

Denise: Hmm. I think we need to go back to family. I mean, obviously there's a

little of me in your mom, Jen and Ryan, and I hope in my grandkids and I hope good
memories. That's it. Memories of a happy family.

Jessica: All right. What part of--this one I think I can guess the answer to--

Denise: <laugh> Probably

Jessica: But, what part of life has been most important to you?

Denise: Probably gonna have to go back to family.

Both: <laugh>
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Denise: Yes, of course. When I was younger, my career was very important to me. I
had some really strong goals. I wanted to be a controller of a dealership and I did
make it there. But as I got older family became much more important. And of
course your grandfather, your I guess step-grandfather and I did a lot of traveling
and that was fun and I have those good memories of traveling with him, but yeah, I
gotta go back to family and the closeness with my family

Jessica: Do you feel like there's anything that like my generation is missing out on
that you wish we were, was more apparent and we were, we had more?

Denise: Well, there were, were a lot more challenges when we were younger and we
didn't have all the technology. I mean my first TV set was like a black and white
little TV. So I think the problem with having all of this wonderful technology is
that you didn't get the experience of not having it. So you don't appreciate it for
what it is like other people of my generation do. So in a way that's kind of sad
that, that you didn't have the opportunity to experience what it was like, not to be
able to Google somewhere and to just have to figure out where a place is, stop at a
Seven 11 get directions, which I've done millions of times. So in that, that's kind of
sad because you don't appreciate it because you don't know what it was like
without it, but just like TV. I mean, I can just talk into my, my remote and it brings
up what I wanna watch. <Laugh> yes, I love it. And, and I appreciate it. So I'm
sorry that, that younger generation doesn't get a chance to appreciate it as much
as they do. I'm sure they still do, but if you don't have it and then you get it, then
it is twice as important to you.

Jessica: We mentioned how you met grandpa Jones. How did you meet grandpa
Bohn?

Denise: <Laugh> I met grandpa Bohn at a singles bowling league. I think I was close
to 40. And I was on a singles bowling league with your first grandfather and we
were bowling together because we wanted to meet like-minded people. And that's
where we met. And then he happened to be bowling. I was bowling several times a
week and he happened to be bowling on another league of mine. And I think he said
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something like, are you stalking me? <Laugh> and so we decided to go out and it was
a match made in heaven, 22 years of BLIS.

Jessica: I'm trying to think if I have any more questions...

Jessica: You and grandpa Jones for my whole life have always been, I want to say
really civil and still-

Denise: Cordial?

Jessica: Yeah. Even after the divorce, and I know of many other divorces that have
ended worse with a lot of fighting and hate. How do you think, like, what do you
think made that divorce still work as like still allowing a little bit of a friendship?

Denise: Well, I always thought that your grandpa Jones was a really good father.
And when we decided that we couldn't be husband and wife, we wanted to make
sure that our children did not suffer. So whatever happened, we wanted to, we
didn't badmouth each other and we got along just well. In fact, one time we went
on vacation together after we had been divorced about seven years with your mom
and your uncle. And I think I, I have never been sorry that we did that because I
know that both of the kids respect both of us for not being bitter, that our
marriage did not work out.

Jessica: What have you learned from having kids and then having grandkids?

Denise: What I know having grandkids is a lot more fun than having kids.

Both: <Laugh>

Denise:A lot less responsibility, but I always enjoyed you kids a lot when you were
little, but not to the extent now that you're older and we can actually talk and chat
and have adult conversation. I mean, that to me is the best part of my life so far
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is, is conversing with my grandkids and being with them and doing things together
with them. That is the best.

Jessica: What do you think is like most important in building a relationship? Like-

Denise: Like a romantic relationship?

Jessica: No, just building a relationship with people and being able to develop
friendships or having good relationships with family and general stuff like that.

Denise: Putting yourself second, making sure that that you listen to them and make
sure that they are getting, I mean, not that you have to do what they say, but that
you validate their thoughts and their ideas. You don't have to adapt them, but
making sure that they are heard and you have to laugh a lot. Yeah. That's one thing
I always said about your grandpa Bohn. He made laugh every day. That laughing is
the best way to pull people together. No matter what kind of relationship it is,
friends, family loved ones, spouses: laughing a lot.

Jessica: I think that's all my questions.

Denise: Okay.

Jessica: Thank you for doing that grandma.

Denise: I love you.

Jessica: I love you too.

~End of Recording~