NOW THAT’S WHAT WE CALL …

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© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 iii
© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 5
 You are going to go on a journey to try and find the ‘Cure’ for a
terrible illness. Read the following and then complete the
activities to complete your quest.

The story so far

Many years ago, the Emperor Zebulon ruled over the country of Britannica. He
was strict, but he was fair, so the people admired him and obeyed his laws. For
decades, there was peace in Britannica and the country prospered.
However, Gromitz, the evil wizard, was growing increasingly jealous of Zebulon's
power and popularity. He believed he should be ruler of Britannica. Zebulon
understood this and offered to work together with Gromitz to rule the country of
Britannica. Unfortunately, Gromitz turned out to be both cruel and incompetent,
so the people did not respect him.
In the end, Gromitz was so jealous of Zebulon's popularity that he declared war
on him, and defeated him, using a strange mixture of chemicals. Many people
and animals died, and the countryside was polluted. Zebulon was sent into exile
on Tongwe Island, far away in the north. Gromitz ordered that a massive new
palace be built for him, containing every luxury that had ever been thought of. As
soon as it was finished, he went to live in it, and there he was safe from the
effects of the chemicals.
As the years went by, the people of Britannica continued to live their lives as best
they could, but a strange illness started sweeping the land. It became clear that
the chemical weapon had affected the immune systems of the people. Many
people were too ill to work. Everyone was desperate.
Then a rumour began to spread. It was said that Zebulon possessed a cure for
any illness. It was also said, however, that he had grown bitter in his old age,
and was angry that the citizens of Britannica – including the rebels – had put up
with Gromitz for so long without challenging his leadership.
Years passed, and Zebulon finally took pity on the citizens of Britannica. He sent
a secret message to the mayor of Britannica (a notorious rebel) declaring that he
agreed to negotiate. He was now ready to pass on the secret of the Cure.
However, he would only permit one person from Britannica to visit him on Tongwe
Island.

The journey would, of course, be

perilous ...

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Before you continue, make sure you can answer all these questions:

a) What kind of ruler was Zebulon?

b) Why didn't the people like the wizard Gromitz?
c) Why did Gromitz declare war on Zebulon?
d) Why was it inevitable that Gromitz would defeat Zebulon?
e) Why had life become so hard for the people of Britannica?
f) How could Zebulon help the citizens, according to the rumour?
g) Why couldn't the rebels easily get help from Zebulon?
h) Why do you think Zebulon finally took pity on the citizens of Britannica?
i) Why do you think the journey would be so dangerous?

Creating your character

You must start by designing your main character – the hero of the story. Choose three
items from each group that will be your character’s ‘strengths’ and then complete the
character profile.

Group 1: physical skills Group 2: talents

□ hand/eye co-ordination □ map-reading
□ sprinting □ art of persuasion (gift of the gab)
□ rock-climbing □ foreign language learning
□ judo □ mathematical ability
□ rowing a boat □ sign language
□ swimming and lifesaving □ initiative
□ archery □ good memory
□ weightlifting □ artistic/visual ability
□ good reflexes □ scientific ability
□ hiking □ imagination
□ horse-riding □ problem-solving
□ gymnastics □ relaxation techniques
□ fishing □ acting
□ throwing □ creative writing
□ ball games □ organisation
□ endurance and stamina □ stealth
□ skateboarding

Group 3: interests
□ machines □ drawing/art/fashion
□ music/singing □ survival skills
□ inventing things □ journalism
□ collecting things □ cooking
□ sports/dancing □ politics
□ nature/the environment □ making things / crafts
□ farming/gardening □ fixing broken things

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© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 8
 Character profile

Your character’s name ..............................................................................................

Your character’s age ..............................................................................................

Your character’s appearance

....................................................................................................................................

....................................................................................................................................

....................................................................................................................................

Family members still living Pets

Phobias Physical skills

Talents Interests

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Law and order in Britannica

List five of the laws that Gromitz has passed since coming to power in Britannica and the
punishment that goes with them. For example:

Offence Punishment

no one shall mention Zebulon’s name mouth taped up

no one shall insult Gromitz imprisonment for life

Choosing the rebel

Finally, the mayor has had enough. He calls a secret meeting by the river at midnight for
the local rebels and hopes that one of them will be up for the challenge.

Task:
Write the letter that is secretly placed through the letter box of all the
known rebels in the town inviting them to the meeting. The meeting
is top secret so you will need to work out how to write the letter
without anyone else understanding it. You might like to write in a
secret code …

At midnight, the mayor welcomes all the rebels to the meeting. He explains that Zebulon
has a cure for the illness and it’s Britannica’s only hope. Next, he tries to persuade
someone to volunteer to make the journey to Tongwe Island to fetch the Cure from
Zebulon. The mayor tries to build people’s self-confidence by offering words of
encouragement. Finally, he appeals to the citizens’ sense of duty to Britannica.

Task:

Write the text of the mayor's speech.

You could use the below text to start you off:

Citizens of Britannica!

Welcome! I am delighted that so many of you have broken the curfew tonight
and made your way through the darkness to this meeting. I commend your
courage!

Citizens, you are gathered here tonight to take part in one of the most
momentous meetings in Britannica’s history …

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 10

Packing your bag

You have put yourself forward for the quest and been chosen! You
don't know how long the trip will take, but it could be at least two
months. You will be travelling for part of the journey on foot, so you
have decided to take a rucksack to carry all your possessions.

Task:

Make a list of all the things you will take with you using the table below.

You will be able buy some provisions for your journey, because the people of Britannica
have raised 250 gold zobs (1 zob = 50p). From the list, choose the provisions you want
to take with you, making sure you don’t spend all the money; you may need it later (for
bribes).

A Swiss army knife 30 zobs

A can of mosquito spray 5 zobs

Waterproof jacket 75 zobs

Wash kit 50 zobs

Food to last you for the journey 100 zobs

First aid kit 80 zobs

Lotion which gives 10 minutes of invisibility 200 zobs

Torch 70 zobs

Matches 30 zobs

Remember: During your journey, you will only be able to use things that you have taken
with you. You won't be able to take the risk of going into shops. So think carefully about
your list.

The journey in the hay cart

After a tearful farewell with your family, you set off in a hay cart for a seven hour journey to
Oban which is on the way to Britannica. You finally arrive in Oban and the driver lets you
out of the hay cart, looking relieved. He’s not the only one! You have had a little rest, and
now it’s only a two hour walk to the docks. You set off, feeling tired but hopeful. The end
of the first part of the journey seems to be in sight and the sun is setting. Then, while
walking up the road towards Oban’s city gate, you see someone approaching you. You
have a very nasty feeling that this person is going to be trouble …

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Encounter with Gromitz’ spy

He is, indeed, a spy for Gromitz and he suspects that you might be making your way to
Tongwe Island. How are you going to get out of this mess? (Look back at your physical
strengths and your other skills and attributes. You must be faithful to your character. )

Task:
Write the script of your encounter with this person and how you try to get out of it!
Include full details in the stage directions.

You could start like this:

Man: (suspiciously) I haven’t seen you around here before, have I?

You: (trying to sound calm) Er … no, I’m just visiting my aunt in Oban.

Man: (eyebrows raised) Really? What’s her name? I know everyone in Oban …

You: (gulping) Errmm …

You finally arrive in the town centre and manage to find a comfy looking field to sleep in.
Today is your last chance to write to your family, before you set off for Tongwe Island.

Task:
Write a letter to reassure your family and / or friends that you have arrived
safely in Oban.

Make sure you do the following:

✓ write the address out correctly at the top of the letter. The field is in the town of
Oban and is called ‘Comfy Field’. It is situated in McKenzie Street, at number 43.
The postcode is OB4 3YP.
✓ make up a date to put at the top of your letter
✓ greet your family, and ask about their health, the weather, etc
✓ describe your journey in the hay cart and your encounter with the spy in a
positive way, even though it was actually very frightening (you don’t want to upset
your family…). Be as optimistic as possible about the journey ahead, but don’t
mention Zebulon. If your letter is intercepted by spies, your family could get into
trouble
✓ sign the letter, maybe with a nickname, in case your letter is intercepted
✓ design the stamp that goes on the envelope. Don’t forget that the currency of
Britannica is the zob

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 12

Getting across to Tongwe Island

In the morning you walk down to the docks and find some fisher folk who are willing to give
you a ride over to Tongwe Island in their boat, if you’ll spend day fishing with them. You
do and the fisherfolk are impressed with your fishing skills and have decided to help you all
they can. They give you a detailed map of Tongwe Island, showing the location of
Zebulon's castle.

Task:
Draw the map of Tongwe Island.

You must include on the map: the bay where you landed, the path up the cliffs from the
bay, one small town, six small villages, two main roads, four minor roads, some hills, an
area of woodland, a small swamp, a river, and Zebulon's castle. Make a good key to
your map. And make sure your map makes geographical sense. Roads need to lead
somewhere, and water flows from high to low ground!

Meeting Zebulon for the first time

After a long and exhausting journey, you finally reach Zebulon’s castle. A servant takes
you straight to your room where you immediately get into bed and fall sound asleep. You
wake up a couple of hours later refreshed and ready for dinner. To your amazement,
there is a little menu by your plate. Zebulon tells you that he likes to have three different
choices for each course of his evening meal, and he likes all kinds of food, including
dishes from other countries.

Task:
Design the menu for your evening meal, showing
various choices for starter, main course and
dessert. Also show which drinks are available.

Tongwe Star article

Zebulon owns the daily newspaper on the island, but his chief reporter is off sick. After
dinner, he tells you that he needs you to write a front page article for the paper, before he
can think about helping you with the ‘Cure’.

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 Task:
Choose one of the stories from the list and write a front page article for the
Tongwe Star.

a) Two young people unsuccessfully tried to rob the Tongwe Bank.

b) Tongwe River has burst its banks and flooded a village.

c) Tongwe's Mayor has been arrested for driving recklessly up the

main road.

The list of ingredients

Zebulon tells you that these are the ingredients for the Cure. Unscramble the anagrams to
collect the items!

From the kitchen: From the garden:

E C S E H E ............................................. T O C R A R ..............................................

E M R C A ................................................ P E P L A ..................................................

T R T E B U .............................................. M O T A O T ..............................................

G Y H O R T U ........................................ LSIO ..........................................................

A M D S T U R ......................................... S A L I B ....................................................

Making the magic water – the basis of the Cure.

This is what you will have to do to make the magic water:

• When you have collected the items, heat them up together in a big pot.

• When the mixture boils, you must trap the steam.

• When the steam cools it will become magic water.

• That is the basis of the Cure, but only the basis.

(In order to make the Cure active, you will have to add a drop of the final
ingredient to the magic water. Zebulon is being very secretive about
that final ingredient …)

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The final ingredient

You are now desperate to get your hands on the final ingredient of the Cure, and get back
home. Read the following poem and work out what is required of you.

‘The time has come,’ the traveller thought,

'I must approach him now.
I dread this quest to find a cure
But I have made a vow.’

‘I vowed to quest, and quest I shall,

Until that cure is mine,
I have the basis for the cure,
The rest I'll get in time.’

The traveller now approached the man

And gave this mournful cry:
‘Oh help me, please, to make the cure,
My family all will die!’

‘Fear not, my man,’ Zebulon said,

As calm as calm could be,
And as he spoke, the waves did break
And boil in the roaring sea.

‘The cure you seek,’ the old man said,

Has come within your grasp,
But traveller, you must listen well,
For there is one more task.’

The traveller listened eagerly,

At last the chance had come
To complete the task, collect the cure
And make the journey home.

The sun came up upon the right

Bringing the light of day,
‘This is the task,’ Zebulon said,
‘Go down towards the bay…

‘… And underneath an arching rock

A little cave you'll find,
The waves lap in, the waves lap out,
Whipped up by the wind.’

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 The traveller knew the arching rock
And nodded eagerly,
Planning the journey down the cliff
Towards the boiling sea.

But wait,’ the old man said, ‘because

A trophy you must bring.
Inside that cave there lives a crab
With poison in its sting."

‘A vicious crab?’ the traveller thought,

Feeling quite unsure,
‘You must bring back that crab alive,
If you would have your cure.

‘Without fresh poison from its shell

The cure would have no power,
And anyone who drank a draft
Would die within the hour.’

All day long the traveller planned

Until the stars burned bright,
Then the traveller thought, ‘I'll get some rest,
I'll sleep throughout the night.’

But when the sun rose up again

The traveller heaved a sigh,
‘I know I must complete this task,
And I know that I may die.’

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 Task:

Write a piece of narrative in the past tense describing your descent down the
cliff, and your ascent back up again carrying the live crab.

Use the following example to help you.

Extract from Beast Quest – Krabb, Master of the Sea, by Adam Blade.

The boulder-like object appeared again, twenty paces away from the starboard box.
It rose out of the water, trailing seaweed. Looking closer,

Tom made out two wicked eyes, swivelling madly in the hollows of a thick
shell.

The water around them suddenly became rough and Tom hurriedly dropped
the sail, hoping that the boat wouldn’t capsize. He heard Silver howling
nervously as more rock-like fragments broke the surface of the waves. It
took Tom a moment to realise what they were – huge jointed legs protruding
from the sea. This was no boulder – it was a Beast!

As the creature continued to rise from the water, it swung its huge pincers
back and forth. Tom noticed that one of the tips pulsed with a strange, bright
green substance. The monster was so huge that it blotted out the sun,
throwing their tiny vessel into shadow.

Coming home

You successfully find the crab and bring it back to the castle to
make the Cure. You thank Zebulon and embark on the long
journey home with the Cure safe and secure in your rucksack.
When you arrive home you ‘release’ the Cure and everyone is
saved! The people of Britannica are extremely grateful and
throw you a big celebratory party.

Task:

Show your party in the form of a cartoon strip. Include captions and speech
bubbles.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 17

What makes a good piece of writing? Sort these ideas into order of importance.

Engaging characters

Pace

Effective use of dialogue

A good plot

Wide range of vocabulary

Drama or something unexpected

Mood or atmosphere created

A clear structure

Varied sentence types

A believable setting

Punctuation used to guide reader

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This is a screenshot of the interactive activity. To access the resource simply pop the resource number (8774) into the search engine on
teachit.co.uk

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 19

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 20
© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 21
Choose one of the story ideas and then ‘flesh’ it out using the points below,
ticking them off as you complete them. When you have completed details for
all the headings then write your science fiction story in full!

 Setting  Vocabulary
 Main character  Other characters
 What is the situation at the start?  What happens in the end?
 What happens next?

After seeing a bright light shooting through The year is 3054. Humans can no longer
the sky, you discover an alien being in your live on the surface of the earth as the
garden shed. temperatures have become too extreme.

A space explorer flies a craft to a new The year is 2099 and students at school are
planet. It is believed there are life forms on educated by robots. All is well until one day
the planet. when the robots malfunction.

A mad scientist has created a cloning Robots have become so advanced that
machine. He decides that you will be his humans have no need to work. As a result
first subject. humans have become very lazy.

A building company announces it is going to

build a city of the future in a closed You are abducted by aliens who take you to
biosphere. Your family buys a futuristic their planet. You think you are going to be
house and moves in. However once you killed, however they declare you are their
have moved in you find out there is no new leader.
escape.

The year is 3050 and robots called

A song is released into the charts. It Guardians have been created. They have
becomes very popular but you realise that been created to look after a child 24 hours a
the song is hypnotising young people and day. Each child has their own robot that
making them act like zombies. ensures they are safe and do the right thing
all the time.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 22

(NB Extracts are taken from From Beginning to End: A New Windmill Book of Short Stories
and A New Windmill Book of Very Short Stories.)

Read the following story openings and put them in order of how strongly they grab your
attention.

‘The Great Secret’ by George H Smith

‘We can’t seem to put a finger on this guy at all, sir,’ Detective Lieutenant Bolasky said to the
District Attorney. ‘We know that he’s blackmailing these people, but we can’t figure out how or
what about.’

‘Voodoo’ by Fredric Brown

Mr Decker’s wife had just returned from a trip to Haiti — a trip she had taken alone — to give
them a cooling off period before they discussed a divorce.

‘The Dead Don’t Steal’ by Ella Griffiths

The ringing of the phone on his desk brought Curt Lessner’s head up with a jerk. Every time it
rang he was afraid it was the police.

‘Forbidden Clothes’ by Jamila Gavin

‘They are taking her away from us.’
Mrs Khan articulated her words in a flat, monotone voice but, as she spoke, she leaned forward
and stared intensely into the eyes of her volunteer English teacher, Margot Henderson.

‘The Gulf’ by Geraldine McCaughrean

The cold, thin air in the back of his throat was like swallowing swords, but he ran until sweat
burst through his skin, until the sweat dried to salt. He ran until every searchlight, floodlight and
white-winking barrack window was out of sight and he was running in utter darkness.

‘Feeding the Dog’ by Susan Price

This story’s supposed to be true.
It’s about a witch, one of the really bad kind, a man named Downing.

‘A Grave Misunderstanding’ by Leon Garfield

I am a dog. I think you ought to know right away.

Think about what it is that makes these openings effective. Use these features to write
your own opening to a short story.

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This is a screenshot of the interactive activity. To access the resource simply pop the resource number (19536) into the search engine
on teachit.co.uk

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 24

Read the story openings below and decide on which you like the most. Then take
your favourite and use it to start your own piece of creative writing.

General

1. The glow of the city shone on the thunder clouds turning them to fire. Down below,
people scuttled here and there, desperate to get away.

This is the spiral opening, where description of the scene gradually pulls the reader into
the story.

2. I woke slowly, groggily. My head hurt…

This is an old favourite – the beginning of a story which could be of virtually any genre.

Letters (epistolary)

3. My dearest beloved,

I miss you.

This could form the opening of a series of letters from anyone who is far away from their
loved one. (You might choose a war time, prison, desert island, or even sci-fi setting.)

4. Didn’t think you’d hear from me again, did you? Well, the laugh’s on you…

Perhaps the start of a series of letters between a pair of enemies?

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Diary openings

5. November 23rd 2163

Left the robots behind. Just me now. Can’t imagine ever seeing another human.

A science fiction beginning for a series of diary entries.

6. September 3rd 1666

The fire is getting closer and I’m afraid. People say the whole of London will burn in
a week. Fate, my judgement, is calling. It’s too late to get out.

Another diary suggestion, but with a historical angle, using a personal account of being in
the Great Fire of London.

And something different…

7. The voices are getting louder. They’re real voices, I know they are. I’m not
imagining them.

Smashes fist into window sill.

Whatever I do, they keep talking. Babbling. Shrieking and swearing, cackling like
witches.

The narrator’s thoughts are in plain type and his/her deeds form separate italicised
paragraphs. This piece can be as sinister as your imagination …!

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 26

Write your story using this scenario [idea] as a guideline. Try to imagine everything
as if it was happening to you: how would you really respond?

1. You get a message from the school secretary that you must go home at once: no
reason has been given, but a pre-paid taxi has been sent to take you to your door.

➢ Think about: What do you fear may have happened? Who do you think most
likely to have organised the taxi? When you’re worried, how does your body
show it?
➢ Useful words: anticipation; apprehension; excitement; gnawing fear; wonder,
confidence.

2. You walk in expecting to see someone, but no-one is about: you’re confused.

➢ Think about: What it is really like walking into your home alone: what do you
usually see, hear, smell, feel? How is this time different? How does that make
you feel?
➢ Useful words: tension, straining to hear, hush, silence, ominous, brooding,
unnatural, disappointment.

3. Looking about, calling out, you notice a dark blotch on the floor: is it blood? What do
you do?

➢ Think about: What/who might have made the mark(s) on the floor? What clues
could they give you as to what has happened? What fears could they evoke?
➢ Useful words: horror, possibility, probability, sinking feeling, denial, panic, goose-
bumps, trembling, eyes darting, tentative.

4. You hear a faint sound: what is it? Where is it coming from? What do
you do?

➢ Think about: it’s over to you now, let your imagination soar!

5. Now work towards resolving the mystery – will all turn out well, or has something
terrible really happened?

6. Remember, start a new paragraph whenever you start a new bullet. However, one
bullet could be made up of many paragraphs.

7. Write at least seven paragraphs.

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Write your story. Use this to help you. (Write your ideas here)

1. You get a message from the school secretary. You must go home at once: no
reason has been given. A taxi is waiting for you. What on earth could have
happened?

I think that .............................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

I think the person who sent the taxi must be .........................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

When I am worried, you can tell, because I ..........................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

useful words

confidence sweat panic apprehension

excitement anticipation shake wonder

2. You get home. No one is there. You’re confused.

When I walked into my home on my own, I felt .....................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

I could see ............................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

I could smell ..........................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

I could hear ...........................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 28

It was different from usual because ......................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

useful words

silence tension ominous straining to hear

unnatural disappointment hush brooding

3. You look around. You call out. Then you notice a dark patch of something on the
floor …

The blotch looked like ...........................................................................................................

I thought the person who had made the marks was .............................................................

I thought hard about what had happened. I saw some clues. What had happened was

...............................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

because ................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

I felt scared because .............................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

useful words

denial horror panic possibility

trembling eyes darting tentative Goose-bumps

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 29

 4. You hear a faint sound.

The sound was coming from .................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

It was ....................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

5. Work out what happened next.

First, I ....................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

The next thing that happened was ........................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

Then ......................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

Finally ...................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................................................................................

6. Remember, start a new paragraph whenever you start a new number. One number
could be made up of many paragraphs.

7. Write at least seven paragraphs.

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Look at the pictures in the accompanying PowerPoint and answer the questions. Use the
word cards to help you.

dusty dirty fragile smashed

glistening barren nomadic curious

fumes gritted broken distance

stunning murky crushed abundant

haunting cheerful dry jagged

noiseless luxurious parched spectacular

towering undesirable sweltering graceful

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 31

This is a screenshot of the PowerPoint. To access the resource simply pop the resource
number (20624) into the search engine on teachit.co.uk

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 32

 When you were young, English teachers may have told you to stick to one tense:
‘Write using the past tense!’ or ‘Write using the present tense; don’t switch between
past, present and future.’ For the most part, this is correct. However, good writers
will sometimes change tenses for effect.

Task one: Read the following passages, looking out for changes of tense (note, not all
passages switch between tenses). You might find it helpful to highlight the changes in
tense as you come across them:

Passage one

Alison was scared. She slowly placed one foot in front of the other and edged forward.
Her mind was confused. She had found out that her best friend had betrayed her. Her
future was at the best bad, at the worst terrible. She wept as she crept along the narrow
bridge.

Passage two

Alison was scared. Slowly placing one foot in front of the other she edges along the
narrow bridge. She had found that her best friend betrayed her. Now her prospects were
bad, if not terrible. She weeps as she takes her next step.

Passage three

Scared, Alison placed one foot in front of the other and edged her way along the narrow
bridge. One wrong step would mean death. Finding that her best friend had betrayed her
had devastated Alison. Weeping she takes another step. She had to go on.

Passage four

Alison was terrified. She stood frozen with fear. The platform led to a narrow bridge. She
needed to cross it.

One step at a time she makes the journey. Each step is a gamble with death. Each step
is accompanied by the racing drum beat of her heart. Each step is distance between her
and her enemies.

As she took the last step the bridge behind her crumbled and fell. She was safe.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 33

Task 2: Now think about the four passages you have read. What effect does this ‘mixing’
of tenses have on the writing? Which passage do you think is best? Compare your views
with those of a partner.

Task 3: The next two passages showcase something different. Can you see what is
different about the writing? As before, can you highlight the changes in tense and discuss
their effect?

Passage five

I couldn’t go on. Exhaustion had chained my body to the spot. But the desire to survive
pulls me forward. Crawling on hands and knees I move along the corridor. I can see the
door ahead. Pain washes over me. Ten feet. Five feet. Then the door opened and I saw
him.

Passage six

I struggled to my feet. I am not going to die on my knees. I am not going to give him the
satisfaction. Pain cut like a razor through my thigh muscle, but I would not let him see my
weakness.

(Note: some people like to put inverted commas around thoughts like this or use italics
when typing.)

Task 4: Look back at something you have written in the past tense. Is there a sentence
or two that would be better if it was changed into the present tense? This is not a
technique to over use, but it can make your action seem more immediate and faster
paced.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 34

The website version of the resource below features a ‘Tweakit’ – essentially some
suggestions for how you might use the resource. We’ve included these suggestions here
on the grounds that it’s always useful to see how another teacher has used, or tweaked a
resource.

The past tense

How it works This is not only a good grammar exercise, but gives pupils a
great model for their own horror stories. I use the
differentiated ‘fill-in’ model with weaker pupils, but more
able pupils benefit from having to re-write the sentences –
much as they moan – because they do get into the mode
that way, making it easier to sustain the quality of writing
when they come to their own endings.

Try this! I’ve allowed pupils to dramatise the extracts (I like to use
both for the grammar, letting pupils choose which to
complete) as a reward for doing the grammar! They
improvise endings in their groups, which helps them decide
how to write theirs. The groups watch each other and
discuss which ideas are effective.

It is important that the drama is not just ‘mucking about’ but

creates the atmosphere, so their challenge is to use no
words, only expressions and actions.

Edna Hobbs

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 35

Here is the start of a short ghost story by Matthew Green but written in the present
tense. You need to change the verbs to past tense and then continue the story in
your own words.

Dead Trial

Sergeant Walter Eaton stands at the Police Station reception desk busying
himself with whatever it is that Police do when they're manning reception, when
a person literally walks in through the door.
Now, to clarify, the door is never opened and there is no gap for anybody to
climb in through. He actually passes through the wood without causing any
damage at all.
The man walks over to Walter and says, "I'm here to report a murder."
Walter notices that the man is slightly transparent. He can see the far wall
through the man's skull.
"Okay," Walter says, "What is the name of the person who was murdered?"
"Richard Thomas," he replies.
"And what is your name, and your relation to the murder victim?"
"My name is Richard Thomas, and the murder victim is me."
Walter is confused. "What?"
"Observe," says Richard, as he passes his hand through the Sergeant's chest.
"I really don't think we have any regulations regarding this sort of thing, let me
get the chief."
Richard sees Walter disappear to the back of the station. After a few minutes
he hears a muffled argument going on.
Walter pushes the Chief through to the reception area and says, "See for
yourself."
The Chief composes himself and said: "So sonny, you claim to be dead eh?"
Richard is very polite. "Yes sir."

Dead Trial copyright © Matthew Green

Now continue the story in your own words.

Notes
The original versions of this story may be available online at:
http://www.angelfire.com/mo/aahz/Trial.html

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 36

Here is the start of a horror story by Virginia E. Zimmer, but written in the present
tense. You need to change the verbs to past tense, then continue the story in your
own words.

AN ACTIVE IMAGINATION

The thud comes again.

Rose clicks the television silent, straining her ear against the storm that
splatters the roof with a mixture of rain and hail. Tentacles of delicate fog
scrape across the window glass seeking shelter from the gale winds.
The soft thump comes from the basement, as though someone, or something,
has knocked a book to the floor. Rose grips the arms of the chair and curses
her husband for leaving her alone on a night like this, knowing she is fearful of
storms, empty houses and prowlers, however imaginary they might be. She has
already lit every lamp and overhead light in the house, but they fail to dispel the
damp, dreary feeling of impending doom.
Her husband Jimmy has nagged her about getting a dog to keep her company
on the nights he works late, but Rose will not hear of such a thing. What if the
dog gets rabies and goes mad while she is alone with him? Her small delicate
frame will be no match for a snarling, crazy-in-the-head animal who will shred
her to pieces with its gnashing teeth.
The television screen flickers in muted silence as it runs the news story again,
warning the public about the man with the knife. He has been evading the
police for weeks, leaving behind no clues about how he slaughters women who
are home alone.
But Rose knows where the man is. He is in her basement skulking around in
the dark with the butcher knife between his teeth.

An Active Imagination copyright © Virginia E. Zimmer

Now continue the story in your own words.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 37

Match the following sentences with the correct point of view.

Coffee helps me to get through the day! Second person

She couldn’t understand why the old woman

Third person
was shouting at her.

Strawberries are his favourite fruit. First person

I get so bored at the cinema. Second person

As an online shopper, you get the best

First person
bargains.

You get the best ice-cream in Italy. First person

We’re happiest in the morning. Third person

They decided to be brave and enter the

Third person
haunted house.

Change the point of view of these sentences, highlighting where you’ve changed it.

1. Without books we would never learn anything.

2. She wished her brother would hurry up and turn his music down!

3. You can’t change a tyre without a foot pump.

4. I wish I had a phone that let me take photos.

5. The race had started and he was definitely not ready.

Now write five of your own sentences from different viewpoints. Label the sentence
with the viewpoint you’ve used.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 38

This is a screenshot of the interactive activity. To access the resource simply pop the resource number (22463) into the search engine
on teachit.co.uk

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 39

Plot is what happens in a story, and structure is the order in which the novel presents the
plot.
Narrative structure is the shape of a story.

Below are listed six different types of narrative structure. Try to link them to the
correct definition on the right.

A) This is when two stories run

1. Chronological or linear alongside each other. It may be two
structure people telling the same story or just
two different ones that alternate.

B) A story within a story within a story

within a story again. (The prefix
2. Multi-narrative ‘meta’ is Greek for ‘again’ meaning
literally, ‘fiction again’.)

C) This is where the story is written in

3. Dual-narrative the time sequence that it took place.

D) This is when more than one voice is

4. Flashbacks telling the story. Different points of
view of characters are given.

E) This is when the narrative moves

5. Fragmented narrative back in time.

F) This is when the story is all over the

place. We just get bits of it from past
6. Metafictive and present and future and have to
work out what happened and in what
order for ourselves.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 40

This is a screenshot of the interactive activity. To access the resource simply pop the resource number (5023) into the search engine on
teachit.co.uk

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 41

Use the following list of subordinators to help with your writing.

after although
as as if
as long as as though
because before
if in case
once since
than that
though except
until unless
when whenever
where wherever
whereas while
who which
what where
when why
even if supposing

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 42

There are three main sentence types.

➢ Simple – a sentence containing only one clause (subject, object + verb).

➢ Compound – a sentence with more than one main clause linked by conjunctions
(and, but, or, etc.).
➢ Complex – a sentence containing two or more clauses, but one is the main and the
other(s) are subordinate. They are linked together by subordination using words
such as because, when, although.

1. Read the first passage (below) then, in pairs or groups, rewrite it using only simple
sentences and one or two syllable words.

As his hand brushed her shoulder, Alice’s smile broadened. She

knew Robert hadn’t meant to touch her but just being close to him
was as pleasurable as stumbling into bright sunshine on a winter’s
day. Offering to help him set up the hall for the concert had been one
of her best ideas because it meant she got to spend two hours with
him alone without Jessica anywhere in sight.

2. Discuss in your pairs or groups how rewriting has changed the piece of writing. Do
you think it’s made it better or worse? How does it change the piece of writing?

3. Now, on your own, rewrite the following passage using the same idea as before – only
simple sentences and one or two syllable words.

Running down the deserted street Blake turned his head to check he
wasn’t being followed. Although he was certain nobody had seen him
stab the man he wasn’t so sure nobody had seen him leave the shop
and the body would be discovered soon. Feeling the knife press
against his stomach in his jacket pocket he tried to decide where the
best place would be to dispose of it before the police could even get
to the scene.

4. In what kind of writing would you want to use simple sentences? When might simple
sentences not be an advantage?

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 43

 When writing one way of making sure that your work is
interesting and engaging is to vary your sentence lengths.
This activity is a fun way of practising this skill.

Task

1. Write down your mobile phone number. If there are any zeros in it
then change these to any number of your choice between 1 and 9.
If you don’t have a mobile phone, use your home phone number.

2. Choose one of the following titles:

Christmas The Mistake

Theft Loneliness

3. Select one of the following genres:

Horror Fantasy

Romance Comedy

4. Write a paragraph for your selected title and genre making sure
that the number of words in your sentences follows the pattern
of your telephone number. For example, if your telephone
number is 447798146372, then the first sentence must contain
4 words only, the second also 4 words, the third seven words
etc.

Writing under these artificial constraints will help you to focus on

sentence structure. It will also demonstrate to you how varying
sentence length can make your writing more interesting and can also
change the mood and dramatic impact of your writing.

Writing plan

Before you start writing your paragraph, sketch out a brief plan on the following page.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 44

 Title

Genre

Characters (names, occupations, personalities, relationships to each other etc.)

Setting (where and when is the story going to take place?)

Plot (the main events – don’t worry if your paragraph only covers one event or incident)

Extension task

Using your paragraph as a starting point, you could write more of your story. Make sure
you continue to vary your sentence lengths to make your writing more effective.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 45

A sentence must contain a main clause (also called an independent clause). A main
clause is a group of words which contains a verb and makes sense on its own.
Eg. He walked to the end of the road.
I shivered.
Sentences may be categorised as simple, compound, or complex.

Simple sentences

A sentence which contains only one main clause is known as a simple sentence. Simple
sentences are often short and simple (eg. The boy ran fast.) but not always:
Eg. The boy wearing the black and white padded jacket ran quickly down the
road at lunchtime.

Compound sentences

A compound sentence consists of two main clauses joined together by a co-ordinating

conjunction. Co-ordinating conjunctions are words which join two parts of a sentence
together so that neither part is more important than the other eg. and, but, or, nor, either,
neither.
Eg. I shivered and turned my collar up.
We must hurry or we’ll be late.

Complex sentences

A complex sentence consists of a main clause plus one or more subordinate clauses
(also called dependent clauses). A subordinate clause cannot stand on its own and may
come before or after the main clause.
Eg. I lent her my savings (MC) because she was short of money.(SC)
When the weather improves (SC) we are going on holiday.(MC)
You can recognise subordinate clauses by looking for the subordinating conjunctions
which introduce them. Subordinating conjunctions are words which join two parts of a
sentence so that one part is less important than the other. Eg. although, because, if, when,
until, unless, after, before, as, in order that, while.

Minor sentences

Minor sentences are those which, strictly speaking, are not sentences at all. They may
lack a subject or a main verb but nevertheless we understand what is meant.
Eg. Wish you were here.
No parking.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 46

Exercise 1

Identify the main and subordinate clauses in the following sentences and say whether they
are simple, compound, complex or minor.

1 The cat slept. 5 Miles and miles of golden sands.

2 The cat slept and the children played. 6 The tortoiseshell cat lying in her basket
with her three kittens had slept peacefully
since lunchtime.
3 The cat slept while the children played. 7 John played the piano but Sonal read her
book.

4 The signalman stopped the train because 8 Cheers!

a heavy snowfall had blocked the line.

Functions of sentences

Sentences can also be categorised according to their function. There are four types of
sentence:
1. Statements (also called declaratives)
Eg. I love English Language lessons.
2. Questions (also called interrogatives)
Eg. Do you love English Language? It’s great, isn’t it?
3. Commands (also called imperatives)
Eg. Revise well for your exams.
4. Exclamations
Eg. Good luck!

Exercise 1

Categorise the following sentences into the four types above. Why are 5-8 more difficult to
classify than 1-4?

1 It’s life, Jim, but not as we know it. 5 Would you like to show me your essay?

2 I don’t believe it! 6 I need to collect your coursework now.

3 What’s wrong with the computer? 7 What time do you call this?

4 Sit down and be quiet. 8 Let me have a look

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 47

Analysing sentences

The parts of sentences can be analysed according to their function as subject, verb,
object or complement, and adverbial.

The subject performs the action of the verb:

Eg. The car raced around the track.

The object tells you who or what has received the action of the verb:
Eg. I saw the dentist.

Instead of an object, verbs may take a complement. A complement adds more

information about the subject and usually follows the verbs to be or to become:
Eg. Her clothes are fashionable.

Adverbials add more information about the action of the verb. They generally come at the
end of a sentence:
Eg. Lucy slept soundly.

Exercise 1

Label the parts of these sentences S (subject), V (verb), O (object), C (complement) and A
(adverbial).

1. Joe hates bananas.

2. Our team beat the league champions last week.
3. The blast destroyed a house, a car and a telephone box.
4. The new teacher looks strict.
5. They were speaking quietly.

Actives and passives

Verbs can be used actively and passively for different effects. The active voice of the
verb will have a recognisable subject which performs the action of the verb. The subject
can also be called the agent of the verb.
Eg. The cat (S) ate (V) the mouse (O).

The active voice makes it clear who or what is performing the action of the verb.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 48

The passive voice changes the object to the subject and places it at the beginning of the
sentence.
Eg. The mouse (S) was eaten (V) by the cat (A).

The cat is still the agent but now it is at the end of the sentence, making it sound less
important. The agent can even be left out altogether when using the passive voice so that
the emphasis is on the action performed rather than who carried it out.
Eg. I broke your best china. (active)
Your best china has been broken. (passive)

Exercise 1

Change the following to the passive voice and discuss the effects:

1. The government has cut funding to the National Health Service.

2. The college asks students to provide their own text books and file paper.
3. Mr Brown withdrew the student from the examination.
4. The Principal expelled the student from the college.
5. The jealous husband killed his wife.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 49

Introduction

What exactly is a sentence? That’s a trickier question that it looks. Consider these definitions.
Which ones do you recognise? Which ones do you think hold true?
1. A sentence is a complete unit of thought.
2. A sentence is something that begins with a capital letter and ends with a full stop.
3. A sentence is an independent unit which would still make complete sense if you took it out of
context.
4. A sentence is a fairly long stretch of language, bigger than a word or a clause.
5. A sentence is a verb, combined with one or more of the following elements: a subject, an
object, a complement or an adverbial.

Initial investigation

Now read the following extract from The Baghdad Blog by Salam Pax. This is one blog that gained
worldwide attention during the most recent Gulf War for its vivid, funny, no-spin account of events
from the inside. Then consider each sentence and explore the validity of the four definitions. What
are the strengths and limitations of each one?

Tuesday, 21 January 2003

Bad, bad weather. Cloudy skies and having to turn the lights on the moment you wake up because
the sun just forgot to rise or something. I am grumpy, having only Travis to listen to at the office is
not helping my mood either. How these guys manage to make everything sound so depressing is
amazing.

A quick run-thru how things are in Baghdad the last couple of days.

Electricity: two hours off every four hours. My cousin is calling this psychological training for
harder times. He spends his two hours in total sensory deprivation, as in no radio, no light, no TV.
Only candles and the sound of the rain.

Internet: For some reason the ISP does not have uninterrupted power supply for the servers or
something, because they also go down with the black-outs. (...) And three more governorates are
going to get Internet this week: Tamim, Anbar and Salah al-Deen. Happy porn-surfing to all.

The Jordanian Border: Best way to go to Jordan from Iraq (if you are an Iraqi that is):
Take a plane – don’t use the much more affordable bus. You have a better chance of getting thru
the border if they think you have money.

The Inspections: Nobody was paying much attention until they decided to go into those houses in
the al-Ghazalia district. That got people talking.

Oh… and I have changed beers.

The Baghdad Blog copyright © Salam Pax

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 50

Pause for thought

Some of the problems encountered with these definitions might include:

1. What counts as a complete unit of thought?
2. Is anything starting with a capital letter and ending with a full stop a sentence? What about
when we transcribe speech with all its natural pauses, interruptions and disjointed bits? Is
children’s early writing, before punctuation has been fully learned, written in something other
than sentences?
3. How many sentences can truly be taken out of context? What about pronoun reference and
ellipsis?
4. The sentences in the extract range from three words to 25. How long is long?
5. What combinations are and aren’t possible? Does anything go?

It is clear that there is more to sentences than meets the eye.

Looking more closely at the structure of sentences

Fortunately, despite this complexity, it is possible to organise sentences into a classification which
starts to make sense of it all. Just be aware that, as with many areas of language, the edges are
not all that neat. The classification model overleaf is adapted from discussion in Crystal,
Encyclopaedia of the English Language (p 216). This helps to clarify the validity of some of the
definitions.
1. Yes, sentences do contain a complete unit of thought, but those thoughts vary – some are
very simple expressions of emotion, such as a surprised “oh!”, some are complex
interactions between ideas that are best expressed in multiple sentences with complex
patterns of clause linking.
2. Yes, generally speaking, particularly in published writing, and especially if we include
additional punctuation devices such as question marks, exclamation marks, and even
perhaps the three trailing dots common in much contemporary communication. But we can’t
meaningfully apply this criterion to sentences in transcripts of speech.
3. This definition is still tricky because so much meaning is tied up in the sentence’s context.
But this definition is drawing on the idea that a sentence has an internal coherence,
something that “Cheers!” has as much as “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single
man in possession of a fortune must be in want of a wife”.
4. A suspect definition if we accept the distinction between major and minor sentences. Even if
you only consider major sentences, it still doesn’t really work as “Jesus wept”, at just two
words, is still a grammatically complete sentence. Length can be helpful in analysing style,
but not sentence type.

This definition only applies to major sentences. To ignore minor sentences, or to label them as
“incomplete”, is to ignore a large part of our perfectly regular, patterned, rule bound, language in
use.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 51

 Sentences

Major Minor
A sequence of clauses in Patterns that don’t fit major
predictable patterns clause sequence

Formulae
Simple
for stereotyped social
One clause only
situations

eg A book has fallen on

eg Cheers! How do you do?
John’s foot.

Multiple
More than one clause linked Interjections
together

eg A book has fallen on

John’s foot, which was
already broken. eg Ow! Shh!

eg A book has fallen on Proverbs

John’s foot and one has
fallen on Maria’s head. or pithy sayings

eg Least said, soonest

mended.

Abbreviated forms
in postcards, instructions or
commentaries

eg Wish you were here. Mix

well. One lap to go.

Words/phrases used as
exclamations, questions and
commands

eg Nice day! Taxi? All

aboard!

Adapted from The Encyclopaedia of the English Language copyright © David Crystal

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 52

The use of different sentence types

Read the two opening extracts below from children’s fiction. Classify the sentence types used in
each text, then consider the reasons for any differences you observe. There is an issue of the
intended audience’s age/reading ability, but what other effects are created by the patterns of
variation in the sentence types? Consider this within each text, as well as comparing the overall
patterns of difference between the texts.

1. From Boris the Brainiest Baby by Laurence Anholt

We are going to meet Boris. We are going to meet Boris, the brainiest baby eve r born.
I cannot tell you how brainy Boris is. He is just too brainy for words. The minute Boris
was born, he shook hands with the doctor and kissed his mother. "Good morning," he
said. "I am Boris, the brainiest baby ever born."
All the nurses in the hospital came running. They had never seen a new baby dress
himself.
Boris put on a tiny suit.
Boris put on a tiny bow-tie.
Boris took a tiny umbrella and Boris stepped outside.
"Boris, you are too young to leave the hospital," said his mother and fathe r and all the
doctors. "You are only one hour old."
"Nonsense!" said Boris. "I am Boris, the brainiest baby ever born. I have many things
to do. Please call a taxi."
Boris the Brainiest Baby copyright © Laurence Anholt

2. From The Railway Children by E. Nesbit

They were not railway children to begin with. I don't suppose they had ever thought
about railways except as a means of getting to Maskelyne and Cook's, the Pantomime,
Zoological Gardens, and Madame Tussaud's. They were just ordinary suburban
children, and they lived with their Father and Mother in an ordinary red-brick-fronted
villa, with coloured glass in the front door, a tiled passage that was called a hall, a
bath-room with hot and cold water, electric bells, French windows, and a good deal o f
white paint, and 'every modern convenience', as the house-agents say.
There were three of them. Roberta was the eldest. Of course, Mothers never have
favourites, but if their Mother HAD had a favourite, it might have been Roberta. Next
came Peter, who wished to be an Engineer when he grew up; and the youngest was
Phyllis, who meant extremely well.

Taking it further
Complete one or more of the following tasks:

1. Has there been a change in the frequency of use of the different sentence types during the
development of Modern English (19th century to today)? Conduct a small scale investigation
to explore this question further. You could use headline news stories from similar types of
newspapers for different years. Have a look at http://www.uk.olivesoftware.com/ to access
old newspapers but be careful to make sure you compare like with like, and think carefully
about how many will make a sensible sample.

2. To what extent is it true that the younger the intended audience, the higher the frequency of
simple sentences in children’s fiction? Conduct a small scale investigation to explore this
question further. Be careful to make sure you compare like with like, and think carefully
about how many texts and how large a sample extract will make a sensible sample.
© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 53
Introduction

Verbs are the action words of language.

To make your writing more interesting, use strong verbs instead of neutral ones.

Verbs like walk and talk are not very interesting.

Try acting these

Ways of walking Ways of talking

stroll babble

stride chatter

shuffle squeal

prance gasp

plod whisper

amble murmur

toddle mutter

saunter drawl

pace mumble

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 54

Development

Note to the teacher

Get pupils to write out the paragraphs below, replacing

the underlined verbs with stronger verbs from the help
section. When they have done that, let them compare
the two versions, so that they can see how the use of
stronger verbs makes their writing more effective, e.g.
using creaked instead of swung (8) involves our
senses, helping us to imagine more clearly the eerie
sound of the door opening.

James saw (1) the old house first. Holes showed (2) in its thatched roof and weeds
covered (3) the garden. To hide the fear that went (4) through their bodies, the boys kept
up a steady stream of chatter.

With a show of bravado, they walked (5) through a gap in the wall and worked (6) through
the tangle of weeds until they stood before the enormous front door. James raised his
hand tentatively and pulled (7) on the handle. Slowly the door swung (8) open.

With the other boys close on his heels, James stepped over the threshold into a large hall.
The boys looked (9) at the room, not quite sure what to make of it. Instead of the dust they
expected to see covering (10) the floor, or the cobwebs they imagined would be hanging
(11) from the ceiling, the room was spotlessly clean.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 55

 Help section

Choose a strong verb from the following lists to replace

the more neutral verbs in the passage. Perhaps you
would like to add some of your own strong verbs to the
lists.

1. SAW – spotted/noticed/sighted
2. SHOWED – gaped/yawned/glared
3. COVERED – choked/blanketed/smothered
4. WENT – quivered/thrilled/shivered
5. WALKED – swaggered/strutted/sauntered
6. WORKED – toiled/stumbled/struggled
7. PULLED – dragged/tugged/yanked
8. SWUNG – creaked/groaned/drifted
9. LOOKED – gazed/stared/peered
10. COVERING – caking/coating/carpeting
11. HANGING – dangling/drooping/trailing

Now make the story even more interesting. Answer the questions and put
them in the story.

1. There were … boys altogether (how many?)

2. Their names were …
3. Were the boys looking for the old house, or do they come upon it by accident? The
boys …
4. Do the boys explore the rest of the house?
5. Why is the hall, (even perhaps the rest of the house), so spotlessly clean?
6. What happens next?

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 56

This is a screenshot of the PowerPoint activity. To access the resource simply pop the
resource number (13304) into the search engine on teachit.co.uk

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 57

 1

Working in pairs, label yourselves A and B. A has to describe a castle to B, imagining

they’ve never seen one before. It may be one you have visited, one you have seen on
television, or one you imagine. (Or you can use the accompanying picture to help).
Remember to say how it made you feel as well as what it looked like.

When you have finished, look at the answer below which is based on Lindisfarne Castle in
Northumberland. Improve the answer by changing it, expanding it and correcting any
errors. Use the hints to help you (and the picture if you need it). You can imagine another
castle when you are writing.

The castle is big. It has big walls it has a big door it has lots of windows I was
very impressed the suits of armour were all shiny. They are very small. The
swords are small. There is not drawbridge anymore. The dungeons were
spooky. I think it was called, I can’t remember.

Hints

1. Start sentences in different ways.

2. Avoid repeating a word.
3. Don’t change tenses.
4. Break the work into sentences and paragraphs.

© Dave Stokes 2004

https://www.flickr.com/photos/
33909700@N02/3159717526/

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 58

 2

Working in pairs, label yourselves A and B. A has to describe a castle to B, imagining

they’ve never seen one before. It may be one you have visited, one you have seen on
television, or one you imagine. (Or you can use the accompanying picture to help).
Remember to say how it made you feel as well as what it looked like.

Look at the answer below which is based on Lindisfarne Castle in Northumberland.

Improve the answer by changing it, expanding it and correcting any errors. Use the hints
to help you (and the picture if you need it). You can imagine another castle when you are
writing.

I saw Castle on the television. It is really big. It is really good. It has a big door
and lots of windows. Inside are many rooms. In one room we found suits of
armour. I ran my finger over a hole in a helmet. It looked like a arrow had done
it. A shiver ran down my spine. Then the guard shouted at me and told me to
touch anything.

Hints

1. Start sentences in different ways.

2. Avoid repeating a word.
3. How could you touch something if you saw it on television?
4. Expand on how you felt and why. For example, what were you thinking when a
shiver ran down your spine?

© Dave Stokes 2004

https://www.flickr.com/photos/
33909700@N02/3159717526/

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 59

 3

Working in pairs, label yourselves A and B. A has to describe a castle to B, imagining

they’ve never seen one before. It may be one you have visited, one you have seen on
television, or one you imagine. (Or you can use the accompanying pictures to help).
Remember to say how it made you feel as well as what it looked like.

Look at the answer below which is based on Lindisfarne Castle in Northumberland.

Improve the answer by changing it, expanding it and correcting any errors. Use the hints
to help you (and the picture if you need it). You can imagine another castle when you are
writing.

Lindisfarne Castle has always impressed me. It is very big. It is very grand. It
is very spooky. It is very exciting. It is wonderful to behold. Long winding
staircases, tall vaulted ceilings and a grand dining room are all impregnated
with centuries of history and I would love to stroll down the corridor casting my
eyes over the wonderful tapestries, chatting with friends and immersing myself
in the wonderful tales, marvellous myths and tremendous legends of the place
where dreams have come true so of them nightmares and people have lived for
over a thousand years as you and I live to today.

Hints

1. Start sentences in different ways.

2. Avoid making sentences too long.
3. What does it look like on the outside?

© Dave Stokes 2004

https://www.flickr.com/photos/
33909700@N02/3159717526/

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 60

Describing weather

The following are words and phrases that we associate with the weather. Sort them into a
table depending on how effective you think they are as a description.

a beaming golden dark, grey, a weak, pale yellow

light snowflakes
sun malevolent clouds sun

a clear, azure blue a grey overcast sky, a gentle breath of

a thick blanket of fog
sky like milky porridge light breeze

a teeming a light dusting of

a sky dotted with hailstones like tiny
thunderstorm of frosty dew upon the
wispy white clouds white bullets
torrents of water ground

a cooling gust of a strong, cold, icy cold gusts of droplets of summer

wind breeze chilling wind rain

Very effective Effective Not so effective!

The five senses

Make a list of the five senses. Close your eyes and imagine you are standing on top of a
hill looking over a city on a snowy, wintery day. Write a description for each sense of what
you might see, hear, smell etc. Some examples have been completed to help you.

See: Curling clouds of smoke from factory chimneys.

Smell: The faint smoky smell of factory chimneys, burning coal.

Taste: ....................................................................................................................................

Feel: ......................................................................................................................................

Hear: Happy screams of children sledging and slipping on the hillside.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 61

You may wish to use these adjectives in your descriptive writing. For each one, make a
spider diagram, as below, and think of three objects that are known for having that quality:

1. flat (see example)

2. smooth
3. shiny
4. cold
5. white
6. shaky
7. bright
8. sharp.

Now complete this simile table.

another object
object I want to the quality that I
which is famous my simile in full:
describe: want to describe:
for this quality:

The snow lies on the

ground like a neatly
the snow on the
smooth, flat blanket spread, freshly
ground
washed, white
blanket.

the icicles hanging

from the buildings

the breath from my

lungs

the colours worn by

sledging children

the rosy cheeks of

people nearby

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 62

This is a screenshot of the PowerPoint activity. To access the resource simply pop the
resource number (1744) into the search engine on teachit.co.uk

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 63

 ‘The first thing you should learn is that you never, ever tell the reader about your
characters, you let him see them in action. If you wish your reader to intensely dislike
Jacob Gronk, don’t bother to give your reasons – just show Jacob Gronk stomping along
the street, then stopping briefly to kick a kitten over the wall.’ Roy Lomax

Read the following story ‘beginnings’ and answer the related questions.

1. The loud speaker boomed, ‘Three minutes. Competitors please take your places.’
Malad stood up, lifted his sword, looked along the blade again and moved towards the
starting gate. He tried to breathe deeply and slowly, attempting to inhibit the flow of
adrenaline until he really needed it. Joana still sat cross-legged, meditating. Her eyes were
closed and her muscles relaxed. Her lips moved soundlessly and Malad realised that she
was praying. He considered doing the same, but dismissed it as useless.
a) What do you think is about to happen?
b) Can you tell where the story is set from the beginning of it?

2. ‘Who the hell are you?’

James turned to see Mike, a boy of his own age, sneering at him. Mike was leaning against a
B.M.X. Two others, Jack and Tom, also aged about fourteen, stood nearby.
‘You new here, or something?’ Mike snarled.
‘Yes,’ came the reply.
All he was doing was standing innocently in the café of a small country town, and yet, James
was scared.
a) Where is the story set?
b) How old is James?
c) Do you think this is an interesting beginning for a story? Give reasons.

3. Janine rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Pleasant dreams had been shattered by the high-
pitched reality of the alarm clock. Not wanting to know whom she would find in the kitchen this
morning, she remained in bed. Often Brian didn't get up until whoever it was was gone, and
so Janine would have to try to make polite conversation with a stranger over breakfast.
a) At what time of the day does the story begin?
b) Who are the main characters in the story?
c) What do you think the story will be about?

4. Martha knew that the end was near. She was only thirty-five, but disease took no notice of age.
She'd only found out the day before, and she hadn't even told Bob, her husband. What would he
say when he found that they only had three more weeks together?
a) What information do you find out from this beginning?
b) What effect does the rhetorical question have?

Task:

Write your own story beginning. Make it gripping and include hints of what might happen later in the
story.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 64

Starter

• Draw attention to the word, ‘arrest’; ask what the French for ‘stop’ is (arreter);
point out derivation.
• Hand out story opening and technique cards (see sheet for cutting up).
• Ask pairs to place each technique card next to the opening card that best
exemplifies the technique.
• Take feedback by asking individuals to come forward and draw arrows to show
the best fit between openings and techniques.
• Ask pairs to rank order the openings in terms of how arresting they are.
Record on the board the number of first choices for each opening.
• Ask why the ‘winning’ opening is particularly effective. (It might well use more
than one of the techniques.)

Main

• Direct attention back to the objectives.

• Have they read any stories/novels, seen any films that have particularly
gripping openings?
• Remind class of the opening techniques they have experienced in this lesson.
• Show opening of The Secret of Trencher Hill. Read it aloud to the class.
• Establish conventions: ask the pairs to look at their technique cards and select
those that apply to this opening.
• Get individuals to come out and underline parts of the text and label them with
the relevant technique.
• Review what they have done and draw attention to other techniques used in
the passage.
• Model: now continue writing the story (see guidance), thinking aloud about
why you are writing what you are writing.
• Share: ask the class for suggestions for the next few lines. ‘Filter’ these
suggestions, explaining your own choices where appropriate. Preferably use a
scribe (possibly an able pupil) during this part of the lesson.

Development

• Ask pairs to continue the story, writing on one mini-whiteboard between them.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 65

 • During this time you should work with one group of 6-8, each of whom will
have their own whiteboard. With a less able group you should break the
process into short, simple stages, reviewing the work as they go: watch
carefully and intervene when necessary. Start by giving pairs within the group
a copy of the opening of The Secret of Trencher Hill and asking them to
underline things they know from the opening. Limit them to three things.
Following discussion, ask them to underline three bits that they can deduce
something from. Model each step.

Plenary/review

• Get students to read out their story continuations.

• Get other students to comment on the effectiveness of the writing and how
justifiable the continuation is in terms of what happened in the text up to that
point.
• Ask the readers to explain how they have tried to involve the reader.
• Return the class’ attention to the objectives and briefly review what has been
learnt.
• Finally, ask them to evaluate the opening of The Secret of Trencher Hill.
Would they read it all? Tell them you wrote it yourself!

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 66

 Buddy stole the money from his mother’s purse just before he left for school. Start with
something
Buddy by Nigel Hinton very odd

Parents are embarrassing.

Take my dad. Every time a friend comes to stay the night he does something that Use direct
makes my face go red. speech
A Mouthful by Paul Jennings

“I don’t care if your friend Darren has a python, a cockatoo and a marmoset Start in the
monkey,” said mum, “the answer’s still no.” middle of
Jake’s Magic by Alan Durant something

Alison lingered over packing her last case, as if she could postpone the moment of
departure. Make your
reader laugh
The Coal House by Andrew Taylor

A cold, wet day in December. The worst kind of day for the backlands. The clouds Talk to your
were so low they seemed to trail their mists in the tree-tops and already, at half past reader: use
three, it was dark within the forest. first person
The Giant Under the Snow by John Gordon narrative

The moment that the bus moved on he knew he was in danger, for by the lights of it
he saw the figures of the young men waiting under the tree. Shock your
reader
The Wasteland by Alan Paton

When Bill Simpson woke up on Monday morning, he found he was a girl. He was
standing, staring at himself in the mirror, quite baffled, when his mother swept in. Create a
tense
“Why don’t you wear this pretty pink dress?” she said.
atmosphere
Bill’s New Frock by Anne Fine

“Angus Solomon,” sighed Ms Lowry. “Is that a penis drawn in your exercise book?” Create a
very clear
Bumface by Morris Gleitzman picture

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 67

 The secret of Trencher’s Hill

It heaved up out of the darkness, a darker shape against the

darkening sky. If ever there was a time to run, then this was
it. But they couldn’t run: they couldn’t move; they couldn’t
even breathe. Sarah’s fingers dug deeply into David’s arm in
horror. Slowly but steadily the shape swelled until its ragged
outline loomed over them, the light wind brushing and
blurring its furry edges.

“It’s alive!” Sarah finally gasped. “What have we done?”

But David only shook his head slightly. At last he knew the
secret of Trencher’s Hill, and now he understood what the
old man had meant when he had warned them not to mess
with the past …

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 68

The teacher should now model a continuation of the story, thinking aloud.

They might continue The Secret of Trencher’s Hill in this way……..

… Well, it was too late now: Benkan had risen from her sleep
and was now very much alive.

“Come on, we have to warn Toby!” David snapped at

Sarah. He pulled her round so that they were facing the
comforting twinkle of street lamps from down in the valley.
Now they ran, tripping over old tires and dumped fridges,
desperate to return to the sane, familiar world below. But they
had not got far when from behind them came an angry,
disappointed growl.

Now share a continuation of the story with the class.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 69

Use the following prompts to help you with your planning.

What would you like the reader to feel when they read your story? E.g. amusement, surprise,
pleasure in the achievement or punishment of a character, fear, pity etc.:
.........................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................

Main character’s name and other details (age, job, gender, etc.):
.........................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................

Main character’s major emotional drive or characteristic e.g. love, selfishness, ambition, pride in
his/her job:
.........................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................

Main character’s specific purposes e.g. get married, make a lot of money:
.........................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................

Who/what is the conflict with? (Circle one of the following.)

1. supernatural e.g. God, Devil, Fate

2. human beings e.g. mother, boss
3. living things e.g. animals, insects, plants, microscopic germs
4. non-living things
5. inner self e.g. guilt, loyalty, love
6. natural forces e.g. time, tidal wave, disease

What is the trial or obstacle the main character has to overcome? (This should test the main
character’s major emotional drive.):
.........................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................

Theme – does the story have a moral or a point that it is trying to prove? E.g. crime doesn’t pay,
working hard pays off; love is more important than anything else; blood is thicker than water etc.:
.........................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................................................................................................

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 70

Use the following prompts to help you plan your own horror story.

Describe your antagonist (monster, ghost, zombie etc.)?

Describe your main character (there could be more than one).

Describe the setting of your horror story. It could be on this planet or another!

Describe the first two people to die. Include information about how and why they die.

What is going to happen in your story? Outline at least three events that occur.
•
•
•

You will need to create tension/suspense. How do you intend to do this (tip: consider
narrative or plot devices)?

Usually the main character escapes (though this may not happen in your story!). Outline
the ending of your story.

Now using your plan, write your own horror story!

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 71

You are going to write a story called ‘The Outsider’. It is up to you to make a decision
about:
• plot
• characters
• setting
• genre.

To make your story more effective, experiment with different narrative techniques. For
instance:
• use first person narrative so a character narrates the story
• use a second person narrative to involve the reader
• use a dual narrative so more than one character tells the story.

Opening one:

When summer comes to the North Woods, time slows down. And some days it stops
altogether. The sky, grey and lowering for much of the year, becomes an ocean of
blue, so vast and brilliant you can’t help but stop what you’re doing—pinning wet
sheets to the line maybe, or shucking a bushel of corn on the back steps—to stare up
at it. Locusts whir in the birches, coaxing you out of the sun and under the boughs,
and he heat stills the air, heavy and sweet with the scent of balsam.
As I stand here on the porch of the Glenmore, the finest hotel on all of Big Moose
Lake, I tell myself that today—Thursday July 12, 1906—is such a day. Time has
stopped, and the beauty and calm of this perfect afternoon will never end. The guests
up from New York, all in their summer whites, will play croquet on the lawn forever.
Old Mrs. Ellis will stay on the porch until the end of time, rapping her cane on the
railing for more lemonade. The children will always run through the woods, laughing
and shrieking, giddy from too much ice cream.
© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 72
 I believe these things. With all my heart. For I am good at telling myself lies.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 73

 Opening two:

It was 7 minutes after midnight. The dog was lying on the grass in the middle of the
lawn in front of Mrs Shears’ house. Its eyes were closed. It looked as if it was running
on its side, the way dogs run when they think they are chasing a cat in a dream. But
the dog was dead.
I went through Mrs Shears’ gate, closing it behind me. I walked onto her lawn
and knelt beside the dog. I put my hand on the muzzle of the dog. It was still warm.
The dog was called Wellington. It belonged to Mrs Shears who was our friend.
She lived on the opposite side of the road, two houses to the left.
Wellington was a poodle. Not one of the small poodles that have hairstyles, but a
big poodle. It had curly black fur, but when you got close you could see that the skin
underneath the fur was a very pale yellow, like chicken.
I stroked Wellington and wondered who had killed him, and why.
My name is Christopher John Francis Boone. I know all the countries of the world
and their capital cities and every prime number up to 7,507.

Opening three:
Hi. I’m Zoe May Askew. Or Zoe may not. (Joke!) I’m fourteen. My friend at school is
Tabitha. Tabitha Flinders Wentworth for short. She’s fourteen too. If the name
seems familiar to you it’s no big surprise. Her dad’s Paul Wentworth of Wentworth
and Lodge (Developments) PLC, the outfit that shoved up practically every residential
estate in practically every suburb in England. You’re bound to have seen their boards,
plus their ads on T.V. He’s into about a million other things too, Tabby says. Security.
Roads. Power. He’s into power all right. Chair of the Suburb Selectmen, Chair of
Schools Management Committee, etc, etc, etc. Dog leaves a mess on the sidewalk,
Paul Wentworth’ll make himself Chair of it.
They’re loaded. Well, you can imagine. They live in this gorgeous architect-
designed house on Wentworth Drive. That’s right—Wentworth Drive. He built the
place and named it after himself, and why not?

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 74

Tasks:

1. Which story opening grabs your attention and why?

2. How have these writers tried to make their story openings interesting?

3. What do you notice about the narrators and the narrative styles used?

4. What effective techniques can you see?

5. What techniques can you use in your own story? Make a list here:

• ....................................................................................................................................

• ....................................................................................................................................

• ....................................................................................................................................

• ....................................................................................................................................

• ....................................................................................................................................

• ....................................................................................................................................

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 75

 My characters: Setting:
Use adjectives, metaphors and similes to Where will all this take place? Use the
describe them. five senses, adjectives, metaphors and
similes to describe it.

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 76

 The plot: Narrative styles and techniques:
What will happen? How will you tell the story? Will you use
the first or third person?

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 77

 1 = I haven’t done this at all. It needs to be a target in my next writing assignment.
2 = I have done this but I think I could have developed it further and I may need to focus on
this in my next writing assignment.
3 = I have done this really well. It is a strength in my writing.

Success criteria: 1 2 3
I can write an interesting story that my reader will want to read.

I can write an effective opening.

I can plan my story and think about the effects I want to create.

I can use a clear opening—middle—ending structure for my story.

I can use some interesting techniques like dual narrator/ first/ second
person narration.
I can use paragraphs to order my ideas.

I can vary the length and structure of my paragraphs for effect.

I can make the story flow in a cohesive (well ordered) manner / way
so it makes sense and my reader can follow what is happening and
make links.
I can use a variety of simple, compound and complex sentences to
add variety to my writing.
I can use a variety of sentence punctuation like capital letters, full
stops, question marks and commas.
I can use ambitious punctuation like colons and semi colons.

I can use accurate spelling, including ambitious words.

The areas I am most confident with are:

The areas I need to target/work on are:

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 78

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 79
Use these ideas to help you write your own story about creating a monster like
Frankenstein did.

Describe the setting (time, weather, place)

...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................

Describe what the monster looked like before it came alive

...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................

Write about what the monster did, or the sounds it made when it came to life.
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................

What did you feel at this point?

...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................

What happened next?

...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 80

Use these ideas to help you write your own story about creating a monster like
Frankenstein did.

The story is set in ...............................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
The weather is....................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
The time is..........................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................

Before it came to life, the monster looked like

...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................

As it came to life, the monster made sounds like ...............................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

Then it ................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................................

© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 81

 This made me feel
...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

What happened next?

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................................................................................

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© www.teachit.co.uk 2014 22470 83