Extended Writing Workbook (FINAL)
Extended Writing Workbook (FINAL)
Class: ______________
In section 1 of this workbook, you will find short activities to help you
develop your writing skills. Remember: there are a total of 10 marks up
for grabs for writing! The purpose of these activities is to help you
develop three core areas: sentence construction, vocabulary &
persuasive devices.
Once you feel confident, you should move on to section 3, where you
will find two Extended Writing questions. Look at my notes and model
responses before attempting each response yourself.
Good Luck!
Section 1: Writing Skills
1. Varying your sentences for effect
Task: Look at the below extract from a journal. What do you notice
about the sentence structures used?
There was something strange about my new school. It was like a whole
new world. I wasn’t prepared for it. It made me sick to my stomach. I was
desperate to go home. I was stuck here. There was no one to help me.
There was something strange about my new school; it was like a whole
new world. Unfortunately, I wasn’t prepared for it. In fact, it made me
sick to my stomach, and I was desperate to go home. However, I was
stuck here. There was no one to help me. No one.
First example: Whilst the short simple declarative sentences convey the
speaker’s worries about starting a new school, there are far too many. It
makes the writing unnatural and ‘choppy’ – you have to strike the right
balance. Short sentences are great for creating tension and
communicating certain thoughts and feelings; however, if you use too
many, the intended effect ends up being lost.
Second example: A semi-colon is used to connect the first two simple
sentences which doesn’t disrupt the flow of the writing. Suitable
connectives are also used to create more complex sentence structures -
(Unfortunately, In fact, However) – these help make the text cohesive.
The journal entry ends with a minor sentence which effectively conveys
the speaker’s helplessness.
Sentence Types
Remember: You get 10 marks for writing. It is important that you are
able to use a range of sentence structures accurately and effectively.
Let’s rewind and look at some of the basics!
Task: Imagine it is your first day at your new school. Write a journal
entry detailing your experience. Include a range of sentence types for
effect.
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2. Varying your vocabulary for effect
Task: Look at the below extract from an informal letter. What do you
notice about the words in bold?
I just couldn’t believe it, Sarah. He was so mean to me. I mean, he really
has made me feel pretty mad. After all, I did give him my homework to
copy. I worked all night to get it finished on time. I am not sure what I
expected, but I certainly didn’t expect him to just ignore me afterwards. I
am so confused at the moment. I really thought he liked me. Honestly,
this is the last time I ever do anything nice for anyone. Anyway, that is
enough about me. I am sick of moaning about it now. How are you?
I just couldn’t believe it, Sarah. I never thought he could be so callous and
well, heartless! I mean, he really has enraged me; I can’t quite put it into
words. After all, I did give him my homework to copy. I worked all night
to get it finished on time. I am not sure what I expected, but I certainly
didn’t expect him to just ignore me afterwards. I am feeling so
bewildered at the moment. I really thought he liked me. Honestly, this is
the last time I ever do anything nice for anyone. Anyway, that is enough
about me. I am sick to the back teeth of droning on about it now. How
are you?
First example: The vocabulary used isn’t necessarily the most effective in
conveying the speaker’s anger. Whilst the vocabulary isn’t used
‘incorrectly’ it doesn’t get across the speaker’s powerful feelings.
Second example: Uses a range of emotive words; these definitely help
convey the speaker’s feelings far more effectively.
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It’s imperative that you identify the TAP correctly (Text Type, Audience
& Purpose). The TAP of an Extended Writing question will determine the
style and voice of your overall piece. Put simply, it will have an effect on
the language, sentences, and any persuasive devices you choose to use.
Scenario: You are about to start your new job. Write a journal entry
describing your thoughts and feelings.
T: …………………………
A: ………………………..
P: ………………………..
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Example
Scenario: Imagine you are an angry customer. You have just arrived
home from your local supermarket, only to discover that some of the
food you have bought is out of date.
T: Formal Letter
A: Supermarket Manager
P: To complain
I just cannot quite comprehend how a supermarket isn’t able to carry out
basic checks on food! I am sure you can imagine how disgruntled I felt
when I arrived home and discovered that at least three of my items were
out of date. In fact, I am positive that the cheese I bought had mold
growing on it. This is unacceptable. Absolutely unacceptable! What
would have happened if I had taken a bite out of the Brie I purchased? I
dread to think! To make matters worse, the commute was at least an
hour to your shambles of a supermarket – that’s two hours of my life
wasted. I dread to think how many food items in your supermarket are in
need of being thrown out; it really makes me feel physically sick!
Dear Editor,
There has recently been a national outcry with regards to an influx of
‘Cat Cafés’ sweeping the nation. Many people are calling for an outright
ban to prevent the proliferation of this terrible fad. Whilst I understand
that ‘Cat Cafés’ are by no means a new trend, I am incredibly worried for
the well-being of the animals themselves and obvious hygiene issues.
Firstly, when there is a culture of continuing awareness around food
hygiene, having cats in a café seems like an odd choice. Cats are known
for walking all over the counter, tables, and wherever they feel like it.
Their faeces carry toxoplasmosis, which can make those with
compromised immunity unwell and even cause blindness, hearing loss,
and mental disability in children. No one likes finding hair in their food;
with cats wandering all over the café, you are likely to find cat hair in
your food or drink.
Dear Rob,
I hope all is well down your end.
I know it’s been a while since my last letter, but you know how life is at
the moment. You’ll be happy to know that I finally got around to
downloading TikTok. Yes, after months of you nagging me, it finally
happened. The unthinkable happened. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long
on my home screen. How can I put this? It was like watching paint dry or
having to endure the screeching of Justin Bieber! What do you actually
find ‘fun’ about this tedious app? I did try giving it a go, but it was
nauseating. The worst thing of all was that I had the misfortune of
coming across this one ‘TikToker’ called Bella Poarch. She had millions of
followers – yes, millions of followers. And, do you want to know her
‘talent’? Well, I’m not exactly sure myself, but it would seem that she
had mastered the art of head-bobbing to a bunch of random tracks. I
found her utterly insufferable; I truly felt like a piece of my soul had left
me. I really did. At least, I gave it a go… I think I’ll stick to cat memes!
I want to talk to you all today about school. Yes, school. Those five years
of compulsory education that, at times, can seem like a never-ending
battlefield. What is your experience of school? For some of you, simply
thinking about school may well send shivers down your spine; for others,
it may evoke feelings of joy and happiness. When family, friends, and
older relatives tell you that the teenage years are 'the best years of your
life, enjoy them, enjoy the freedom.' I'll bet that many of you in that
situation inwardly cringe. School can be a tough five years for many
reasons, and the most startling thing of all is that adults don't seem to
realise the pressure of being in the transition stage of our lives. Then, of
course, there are added pressures like social media that they didn't have
way back then, or if they did, it was not as prominent in their lives as it is
for us. Fitting in is critical and social media is part of fitting in. Then
there is bullying and fear of being picked on or not picked out for sports.
Not getting the grades and exam stress make it impossible to 'enjoy the
freedom’! So, do I think school is tougher than ever? Absolutely!
What does it mean to step outside of your comfort zone? Think about it
for a moment, and don’t turn the page just yet! Fundamentally, it means
trying something different, something that is not part of your regular,
safe routine. We all have our own comfort zone; it's safe and familiar,
the habits we follow. Choosing to step outside of our comfort zone is the
decision to try something new, often something audacious. By stepping
outside of what is comfortable and safe, you give yourself the
opportunity to truly thrive. It’s frequently a transformative experience.
We all have different personalities; each of us is unique. Some people
would shrug and say, why not step outside a comfort zone? Doing things
that are different, possibly dangerous, but undoubtedly unfamiliar
makes life exciting and fun. Others will cringe at the thought of leaving
the familiar, comfortable safety blanket. Change terrifies them; doing
something new is abhorrent to those who like to feel safe and secure.
Still, there is another tribe, probably the one that fits most people. They
love their comfort zone but realize testing themselves by stepping
outside of routines, and the familiar helps them grow, builds their
personality, and gives them new perspectives.
Today was a really strange day. A really strange day. I just had to put pen
to paper, so here goes! I promised myself that I’d revisit my old school. It
sounds stupid, but I wanted to see if it brought back any memories, both
good and bad. Unfortunately, things didn’t go exactly to plan. My school
no longer existed. Well, the exterior, to some degree, still existed, but it
had clearly shut down a long time ago. When I saw it in its current state,
I felt an immediate sinking feeling. A feeling of regret. It is still playing on
my mind as I write this. Why did I leave it so long? However, I didn’t
want to turn back, so I decided to do something senseless…perhaps
dangerous. I entered my old school. It was an eerie sight: debris
carpeted the floor, and a few old light fixtures hung precariously from
the ceiling. I momentarily convinced myself that I could hear gleeful
children talking about the magical books they were reading. I convinced
myself that where I was standing was still the place that had once
brought me so much happiness. I convinced myself that my school was
exactly the way I remembered it - but everything had changed. There
was no laughter, no joy, no magic. Nothing. It was a lonely sight, and I
was left shrouded in misery. I felt perturbed by the changes; it was an
assault to my senses. So, yes, today really was a strange day. I don’t
know what to make of it all.
Remember: You need to select ideas from the text and develop them relevantly,
supporting what you write with details from the text. You need to adopt an
appropriate voice for the text type, and provide a clear and balanced response
which covers the three bullet-points. Your response needs to be well sequenced,
and in your own words.
Your turn to write a full response!
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Your turn to write a full response!
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Model Response 1 Plan:
Note: The development column includes the type of comments you need
to be annotating on Text C! Remember… DET > DEV > DET > DEV
Task: See if you can develop the rest of the ideas below!
You are Alastair, the photographer. You give a speech to a group of local
photography students encouraging them to take up night-time photography.
In your speech you should:
• explain why the photographs you take at night-time can be better than
the ones you take in the day
• describe how to prepare for going out to do night-time photography
• suggest why going to take night-time photographs can be such a special experience.
Note: Yes, this is significantly over the word count - but I wanted to show you the process of
developing each idea fully. You only need to develop a range. Would you get penalised for going
over the word count? Nope! Write as much as you can in 40-45 minutes!
Photography. It’s the most magical thing in this world, right? Thank you all for coming today and
listening to me talk about all things ‘night-time photography’! We are all here because we share
a passion for photography. But what makes night-time photography truly special?
Firstly, I want to discuss why photographs taken at night can be far superior to those taken
during the day. The most significant differentiating factor has to be that you get to experience a
whole new world; you get the opportunity of being transported to a world undisturbed – a world
full of magic and wonder – a world waiting to be discovered. When the sun goes down, the
things you get to see are truly magical. Of course, you get to see the moon sparkling high in the
sky, but you also get to experience a whole kaleidoscope of different colours. It really is a beauty
that cannot be matched. How does that sound? Not to mention that it is so peaceful! Just think:
there’s no one around – just you and your camera. You get an incredible experience to capture
the many wonders our natural world has to offer; you can capture the beauty of our world as its
best and most intimate. I really can’t of anything better! You can also capture more unusual and
striking images; the art created from silhouettes is stunning. Now, although night-photography is
a time-consuming process, and you have to have a lot of patience to get the perfect shot, the
final image can end up being something to treasure forever, so I certainly wouldn’t let that put
you off.
Preparing for going out to do night-time photography takes a little bit of thought and planning.
However, it is best not to overcomplicate things. I find that simply having a goal or vision is more
than enough. You are all passionate people – that is all you need… and your camera, of course! I
would say that is it definitely important to plan your route if you are using transport. I would
start by going somewhere familiar to you – see what beauty you can capture. Once you feel a
little more confident, you can start going off the beaten track and being a little more
adventurous. The most important thing is to be well equipped – bring any necessary camera
equipment and anything you need for the journey: a tripod, torch, extra lenses etc. You do want
to ensure you have different lenses; after all, they will allow you to capture some extraordinary
moments – animals coming out late at night, for example. Lastly, I hope I will not sound like a
nagging mum here – but don’t forget to wrap up warm. It can get pretty chilly in the evening –
and the last thing you want is to end your experience prematurely.
The last thing I want to talk to you all about is really why we all do this in the first place – what
makes night-photography so special? I mean, I could speak to you for hours about this one, but I
will try and keep it brief. First of all, you really can make magic happen with your camera. You
don’t need to be overly creative to start off with. In fact, as mentioned earlier, you just need an
idea, a vision, a goal. You may also even bump into other budding night-photographers – sharing
ideas, places to get the best shot, forming friendships with like-minded people is one of the best
things about photography. The most magical thing of all, though, is that you’ll get to experience
the world we live in at its finest. It really can be an awe-inspiring experience – one you won’t
forget. You will learn pretty soon to take things slow and to appreciate the artistry of night-
photography. It is a world that is waiting to be discovered. Just you and your camera.
I won’t keep you any longer – thanks for coming today, guys. If you have any questions, please
stay behind at the end. Happy snapping!
Model Response 2 Plan:
Task: I have given you the explicit ideas – it is your turn to fully develop
each idea below!
You are Sonny. Your father and the rest of the family have watched the video you made to
record his fiftieth birthday bicycle ride. After the family have watched the video, you write your
journal entry in which you:
• describe your father’s plans and preparations for his birthday and how you felt about them
• explain the hardships and challenges your father faced on the journey up the hill and your
thoughts as you watched him cycling
• describe your father’s reactions as he watched the finished birthday video of the whole ride.
You will notice that my style is very informal/chatty/colloquial. I have used fillers, the occasional sentence
fragment, idioms, sarcasm, minor sentences etc. to help create a convincing voice. Don’t be afraid to break
certain ‘grammatical rules’ – it all depends on the TAP!
Oh, what an eventful day today has been – and when I say eventful, I mean it! As I write this, I
sort of want to laugh and cry simultaneously! Where do I even begin?
So, my father finally turned the big 5-0! We had this crazy plan to record my dad’s personal
challenge of riding uphill to celebrate… or commiserate turning such a fine ol’ age. Well, we did
exactly that. Except… he didn’t quite make it. It was his idea of proving to us that he wasn’t quite
ready for his grandad slippers and tobacco pipe! And after I made a rather jovial comment about
his age – well – he wasn’t exactly impressed. So, where did it all go wrong? Hmm. Let’s start with
the fact that my dad thought it would be a good idea to use his ancient bike caked in cobwebs
out of the shed. The pessimist in me said this wouldn’t end well. Not only that… dad suddenly
thought he was some bike expert and miraculously fixed the piece of garbage himself; I am still
questioning why he didn’t take it to a professional! However, I can’t fault my dad’s commitment
– riding around our estate (the roads are flat!) was more than adequate in his eyes. Sigh. So,
yeah – the birthday video. I thought it would be a nice idea – a keepsake – a way to remind dad
that it’s okay that he’s now officially an old man. The mean side of me wanted to see dad epically
fail – is that terrible of me?
Now, after watching the video back, it is clear to me how difficult dad’s challenge actually was.
Jokes aside – I am pretty proud of him. It clearly required an awful lot of physical strength and a
high fitness level. At one point, dad was really struggling – watching him desperately trying to
drink water was quite a sight! I did wonder whether this was a herculean task – one that perhaps
was a little outside of his capability. Also, given that dad had only trained on our nice, little flat
roads, the terrain was incredibly difficult for him – even our car started to struggle! I was pretty
worried at this point – I wanted dad to succeed, but I did have my doubts. I mean, from looking
at his face, it seemed as though he was ready to keel over and snuff it! His shortness of breath
didn’t help such thoughts. Luckily, he didn’t! You know, despite everything, despite how funny I
initially found things (including my dad donning some hideous lycra), I was rooting for him.
Although he fell short at the final hurdle, I was one proud son.
Now that dad has watched the whole video and has had time to relax, I think he’s secretly proud
of himself – I think we all are! Let’s not forget that he almost completed the whole route - what
an achievement! Maybe… just maybe… it has opened my dad’s eyes a little – who knows?
Perhaps we will see him with a brand spanking new bike soon – here’s hoping! Of course,
throughout the whole video, dad was also reminded of the excruciating pain he felt throughout
the audacious challenge – but I think he’ll recover pretty soon. Although I could sense that he
felt a little disappointed, I think the close-up shots of him looking like some wind-swept beast
certainly lightened the mood.
Time to call it a night!