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    How To Sound Like Jim Bowen

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    zimby12
    This document provides guidance on how to mimic the style and humor of British TV personality Jim Bowen. It suggests adopting a chatty Northern accent and making jokes about bodily functions, sexuality, and offensive stereotypes. Specific phrases and questions Jim Bowen commonly used are listed to incorporate into conversation. The document also notes that while such humor was once common, many jokes would now be considered insensitive or inappropriate.

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    How To Sound Like Jim Bowen

    Uploaded by

    zimby12
    519 views5 pages
    This document provides guidance on how to mimic the style and humor of British TV personality Jim Bowen. It suggests adopting a chatty Northern accent and making jokes about bodily functions, sexuality, and offensive stereotypes. Specific phrases and questions Jim Bowen commonly used are listed to incorporate into conversation. The document also notes that while such humor was once common, many jokes would now be considered insensitive or inappropriate.

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    Guide To How To Sound Like Jim Bowen

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    This document provides guidance on how to mimic the style and humor of British TV personality Jim Bowen. It suggests adopting a chatty Northern accent and making jokes about bodily functions, sexuality, and offensive stereotypes. Specific phrases and questions Jim Bowen commonly used are listed to incorporate into conversation. The document also notes that while such humor was once common, many jokes would now be considered insensitive or inappropriate.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    519 views5 pages

    How To Sound Like Jim Bowen

    Uploaded by

    zimby12
    This document provides guidance on how to mimic the style and humor of British TV personality Jim Bowen. It suggests adopting a chatty Northern accent and making jokes about bodily functions, sexuality, and offensive stereotypes. Specific phrases and questions Jim Bowen commonly used are listed to incorporate into conversation. The document also notes that while such humor was once common, many jokes would now be considered insensitive or inappropriate.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    of 5

    HOW TO SOUND LIKE JIM BOWEN

    Jim Bowen was the epitome of the chatty, down-to-earth, self-effacing, plain-speaking
    Northerner. A very funny man. His chatty style is pretty simple to copy, though it needs to be done
    in a Northern accent. Preferrably a Lancashire one.

    At the risk of over-generalizing, a lot of Jim's jokes (outside of the brilliantly crap Bullseye), seemed to
    centre round public toilets, having relations with the Mrs, the size of your cock, farting, taking the
    piss out of gays, minority communities, posh people, visiting the doctors and and how shit Bullseye
    was. A really delighful fellow. No irony intended - his non-pc stuff is very funny.

    The "Jim Bowen" technique:

    To cum across as a luvli down-to-earth Northener with a cheeky non-pc sense of humour, try
    to incorporate these techniques.

    Whatever the other person says just reply:

    "Oh, thats smashin' is that" or "Oh, that's a bit smashin"


    "Oh that’s luvli is that"
    "Oh that's super is that"
    "That's marvelous is that"
    "Oh, super, smashin, luvli, great"
    You can also add at the end "....., if you don’t mind me saying so" or similar
    "Thank you, kind sir"
    "You can't beat a bit of......can u?"
    Tedious questions to ask:

    Tell us where you from? [whatever the answer, then just say "oh, what a beautiful part of the world"]
    Are you married? [the implication is, if you're not, you're gay or there's something wrong with you]...
    ...if the other person says “no”, you respond with “are you not?” (as if you’re surprised).
    What's your hobby?
    Tell us sir, what are doing now with yourself?
    How do you relax?
    Yer keeping busy?
    Are you nice and relaxed?
    Are you courting?
    Where do you play yer darts?
    What do you do for a living? [whatever the answer, then say "Oh dear, I bet you can tell some stories,
    can't ya?"]

    Jim & his sidekick Tony Green (as an old-fashioned flasher)

    Other phrases to use; [quite a lot of these only make sense within the Gameshow "compare" context,
    though you can slot them into normal chat, to take the piss or just for your own amusement. Very
    few people will notice your stupid games]

    It's been absolutely super / You've been absolutely super


    It’s been a pleasure to talk with you
    Nice to see you
    Super, off we go
    You've got all the time in the world
    Give us a smile luv
    I've got to say that
    Well now
    Now then
    Gracious me (or good gracious me)
    Delightful ladies/gentlemen (ie commenting on someone)
    Tell me if I'm wrong
    Am I right? eh?
    Trust me
    Lovely man
    Bloody crackers, absolutely crackers
    A very funny man
    You've just won a penthouse [or time-share apartment] in Bagdad/Kabul
    You balmy buggers
    Oh dear dear
    Funny days
    Talk to me
    Tosspot
    I must talk to you
    You're really lovely
    A little bit light on his feet but a wonderful chap
    You've been absolutely marvelous, you've been brilliant
    Am I talking to myself, or what?
    Grand
    Nothing to be ashamed of
    Nice to have you with us young sir
    You'll never forget this for the rest of your lives, look what you could have won
    I wont keep you long, I know you're a very busy man
    What a nice fella
    I'm thrilled to bits
    We don't mean it really
    You're 2 fine fellows, off you go
    Come on boys
    Good lad
    2 big healthy lads aren't you? fine strapping lads
    Early days, dont worry, stay as you are
    Pressure's on you a bit
    You've done very very well, excellent really, never mind
    Take that with our compliments
    Safe journey back to Wolverhampton
    Here we go then
    Thats marvelous
    Nice and tight as we move into round 2
    Nice, firm handshake
    Here's your tankards, yer bullseye darts and yer bendy bullies
    A lovely goblet for you there luv
    I'll count this money out, it will take me a while, back in 2 minutes
    Best of order now on the ockey
    Don’t be too depressed, you've had a great day
    I didn't know that was legal
    You're looking quite well
    Settle down, plenty of time
    Cheerio, see you soon, bye
    It's a priviledge to have you here [or to chat with you]. It really is
    Come this way boys
    You've had a right good day
    Give all our best wishes to everyone down there in Walsall
    It's marvelous to see you, honestly I'm stuck for words
    So, bollocks to you
    He's got a mind like a sewer
    Brilliant to know ya
    [Crack a rude gag, then say] That's something to relax you with; we don't mean it really
    I could talk to you for hours, I really could
    ...how do you spell that? Let me check with Bully
    Yer 2 fine fellas, we want you to have a reet good time
    Where you from? [if they say Wales, you say "That's where men are men and sheep are careful"]
    Keep out of the black and in the red, you know there's nothing in this game for two in a bed.
    We don't mean no harm do we. Goodness gracious [to be said after after telling an offensive joke]
    What do you do young man? [the thing here is say "young" even though the guy may be a lot older
    than you]
    Its funny you know, people laf about this, its got to the stage where people have got sensitive about
    doing gags now; when we used to tell stories in the old days there were no do-gooders, no Save the
    Ferrets in Mansfield brigade, you know we could go on and tell gags.....now you can't do that any
    more.....[now tell an offensive joke about a Scotsman or Welshman or Irish man etc]..there's nothing
    offensive about that is there?, there's nothing wrong with that...I mean are you scottish? [the other
    person will likely say no, then you continue].... I can't stand the bastards....it’s all good-natured,
    we don't mean it, we don't mean to offend

    THE APOLOGETIC WAY TO TELL OFFENSIVE JOKES:

    Dju remember Bernard Manning eh? [or could be any number of older non-pc comics like Chubby
    Brown etc] What a character, goodness gracious. He'd tell some crackin' jokes, I can tell you. But you
    can't do that kind of stuff nowadays. Oh no, you can't do that. I remember I was at a working mans
    club in Doncaster, years ago it was, and Bernard was on ticket. He had the place rolling he did.
    He told this story about a Pakistani chap....[now you can launch into any offensive, homophobic,
    transphobic, sexist, mysogymistic, racist, obscene joke you want without any responsibility for what
    your're saying; that's cos you're just giving an example of a joke that's not allowed nowadays. Like
    some sort of social commentator. Simples...then at the end you say "But you can't tell these types
    of jokes nowadays can you? Dear oh dear".]
    TONY GREENISMS

    [Tony was the guy who stood by the dart board on Bullseye, and called out the prizes in a wierd
    voice] - A case study in pointless, tedious comments.

    Jim & Tony (as a flasher)

    Just settle in, that's the way


    Best of luck son
    Oh that's unlucky
    Take your time
    Nice and easy
    No rush whatsoever
    Never mind
    Ok, just settle down
    Nice and steady

    Snapshots from a Central TV 1983 Xmas Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg_x6aIQ9uQ

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