B.D Communication in Counselling - Speaking, Silence and Listening

Originally the word, Counselling referred basically to an advice giving by an informed and
experienced persons to people in need of information, education and insight for a practical
living. Counselling is a relationship between two or more people, in which one person seeks
to advice, encourage, help and support another person or persons to deal more effectively
with the problems of life. Counselling is a series of direct contacts with a person, with the
aim of offering him or her assistance in changing attitudes or behaviour. In other words,
Counselling is an active process which joins the client and the counsellor, when the client
wants assistance, and the counsellor is able to give it. The aim is to help the client to learn to
deal more effectively with the reality of his environment.
Carl Rogers: - “Counseling is the process by which, the structure of the self is relaxed in the
safety of the relationship with the therapist and the previously denied experiences are
perceived and then integrated into altered self resulting in new behavior.”
Joe Currie: -Counseling is a process of relationship between one who seeks help and one
who gives help with an end in mind such as to help the person, to get clear view of his /her
situation in a clearer way and consequently be able to act in a healthy manner.
MINISTRY OF COUNSELLING
The ministry of counselling is an important part of the work of Pastoral care.
Counselling is : Healing people- by helping them to become ‘whole’ both physically and in
their personal relationship.
Sustaining people- in times of difficulty, frustration and sorrow
Guiding people – as they seek to clarify their thinking and decide on the way to act I different
situations.
Reconciling people – challenging them to face the weakness and guilt of their broke
relationship and find reconciliation and restoration, both with God and with other people.
Different Types of Counselling
(1) Clarifying counselling – helps to open up or clarify the situation before a problem can
be solved or a decision made.
(2) Educative counselling – about the church’s teachings, family, marriage etc.
(3) Supportive Counselling – This gives a person or a group support and encouragement for
some decision they have made.
(4) Crisis Counselling – When something happens to upset a person’s life or relationship,
which they find difficult or impossible to cope with (sickness, the death of close relatives,
loss of job, adultery of a marriage partner etc).
(5) Confronting counselling – When people need to be challenged to face up to wrong
actions in their lives. To seek forgiveness from God or from others, and to make what
restitution they can.
(6) Preventive counselling – The purpose of counselling is not only to help people get out of
trouble, some times the aim is to prevent them form getting into trouble.
(7) Spiritual counselling – The pastor is a representative of the church, and there is always a
religious or spiritual aspect to his ministry of counselling. There are spiritual issues involved,
even when the problem is not directly concerned with religious matters. Many people are
troubled by guilt, loneliness, fear of death, and many other thoughts and feelings relating to
the deep spiritual issues of life.
Essential Elements in Counseling: -

a) Empathy /Rapport _getting into the shoes of others.
b) Acceptance
c) Genuineness
d) Concreteness
e) Respect
f) Facilitative self-disclosure
g) Confrontation
h) Referral
i) Facilitating Action
COMMUNICATION IN COUNSELLING- SPEAKING, SILENCE AND

LISTENING
The communication takes place in the field of counseling when the counselor interacts
with the people and people also waits anxiously to hear what he/ she is going to speak.
The counselor as the sender should speak clearly so that it will understand the people as
the receiver to grasp what he/ she is communicating with them. In counseling, the
counselor should choose the silent place so that the people attention might not be diverted
and disturbed. During counseling, the counselor should use the senses in order to listen to
the people’s problems when they share so that the message the counsellor should share or
send to them should convey the meaning and should be relevant with the people shared
upon him/her.
1. Communicating by speaking:
Speaking is the best if not the easiest way to communicate. Communication by speaking
is the most common form of communication. It plays a vital role in the whole
communication process. It makes things easier for both the listener and the speaker as
everything can be explain in a simple way, questions and answers can always takes place.
In Christian ministry it is through mostly speaking like preaching a Christian minister
communicate to the congregation. The style of speaking in communication also play a
very important role. A person speaking need to speak loudly and clearly making audible
to everyone listening to him/her so that communication can be more effective.
2 Communicating by Silence:
One piece of communication that accompanies nonverbal reactions is silence. Many
things can be learned through silence. It can convey a lot of meanings. A person can
convey approval, disapproval, anger, or other messages through a silent response. Silence
forces a person to shut up and get a message across in fewer words. Ironically, fewer
words can result in clearer, stronger message. One’s mind can be read by his/ her silence.
One may not speak out his/ her joy, sadness rather may express through his/ her silence.
Thus in recent years, researchers have suggested that silence is not simply an absence of
noise or does not mean anything. The context of the situation defines the power and
message of silence. Constructive silence moves a conversation or discussion forward.
Destructive silence shuts down communication and creates barrier that discourage
speakers from expressing their thoughts. Thus silence can be leaden or and they can also
be golden in communication. On the other hand the observer or the listener must be
careful enough in interpreting one’s silence.
3. Communicating by Listening:
When listening to person, the listener should pay attention to the person’s actions too as a
normal person communicates 30% verbally and 70% non-verbally. Just a little patient to
listen could help a person, could lift up, could encourage, and could convey a message to
the hopeless that there is someone who still cares. The world agreed with Bonhoeffer on
listening when he once said, “Refusal to listen to each other is the beginning of Spiritual
death”. Listening is not only a passive action but it is also an active action because it
demands both an introspection and retrospection for the listener too. Therefore to have
effective communication by listening the counsellor by his/her posture, as counsellor
should focus attention on the questions: what is the person communicating about him/
herself? About his/her feelings? About his/her thinking? And thus the counsellor should
responds to the counselee in a way that shows he/she has listened and that he/she has
understands what the counselee is expressing and what he/she is feeling. It is through
listening such emphatic understanding and productive communication can be fulfilled.

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What are the different types of counselling discussed?

What are the essential elements of counselling mentioned?

Originally the word, Counselling referred basically to an advice giving by an informed and

The ministry of counselling is an important part of the work of Pastoral care.

Sustaining people- in times of difficulty, frustration and sorrow

Different Types of Counselling

Essential Elements in Counseling: -

COMMUNICATION IN COUNSELLING- SPEAKING, SILENCE AND

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