Advice to Women by Eunice de Souza

“Advice to Women,” written by Indian feminist poet Eunice de Souza, is a short pithy saying on the “otherness” of
lovers. This piece is written in the form of advice to a woman who is on the brink of a relationship. Eunice’s
humorous remark concerning the preparation of a heartless detachment revolves around keeping cats. In this piece,
she shows the way a woman, internally weak and mentally dependent on her partner, is treated. The main theme of
this piece taps on “otherness of lovers”. She uses metaphorical language in order to portray this theme.

Advice to Women
by Eunice de Souza

Keep cats
if you want to learn to cope with
the otherness of lovers.
Otherness is not always neglect —
Cats return to their litter trays
when they need to.
Don't cuss out of the window
at their enemies.
That stare of perpetual surprise
in those great green eyes
will teach you
to die alone.

- from Selected and New Poems (1994)

Analysis
The poem "Advice to Women" mainly deals with the women's situation in our patriarchal society and also advises
the women what they should do to avoid such situations. Through this poem Eunice de Souza, the poet wants to
make the women aware about the pain they receive from others. She compares a cat's indifference and proud
behavior towards life and by comparing with the cat the poet wants to say that women's behavior and attitude
towards her lover should be like a cat. The woman's reaction must be jilted by a lover. The poet uses very simple
images drawn from day to day life and he also wants to highlight the necessity to adapt with life in a different way
and also they should follow the attitude of a cat. She tells women to keep cats as pets because we are all well aware
about the behavior of cats. Cats are always well known for their proud and haughty behavior. The women should
have patience like cats in order to cope up with the otherness of the lover and in order to survive in this patriarchal
society the women should have patience. She says othemess is not always neglect and it could also indicate the
indifferent behavior and attitude of the lover to their beloved. She advises women to tolerate the otherness of her
lover and also the beloved should wait for their lover for their return to them. The imagery depicts the act of
cleanliness that is nurtured by a cat and insists humans adhere to it.

Women are the beauty of the world and that beauty is cast under the delusion of persecution of life. Women always
play the role of a daughter, wife and mother in their whole life and they find pleasure in this role. Women always
play a major role in a man's life. Without a woman the life of a man is just impossible. For this reason the man will
return to their beloved when they are in need of her. These lines bring out the imagery of indifferent and callous
attitude that the cat shows towards life. The poet here again and again advises that it is this indifference attitude the
women should imbibe. Women should know how to hide pain and suffering and still carry a long standing surprise
in their eyes. It points out the essential loneliness of human existence and the need to accept it as a fact. Because we
are all familiar with the fact that we are born all alone and we are going to die alone on this earth and between these
two poles of birth and death we have to fight alone to survive. So, the poet insists that all women should possess all
the qualities so that she doesn't carry the fear of existing alone and also dying alone. And when the women will be
able to gather this indifference attitude they will be happy from insight and they will be self dependent also.

Summary
“Advice to Women” begins in the manner of advice from an experienced heart, adept in coping up with break-ups.
She has mentally become stronger and her heart has learned the art of moving on. In this poem, she satirizes the way
lovers betray their weak, other halves. According to her, it is always better to keep a cat before one gets ready for the
rollercoaster ride of a relationship. It always comes back for food, nothing else. Likewise, a man wanders in the need
of sexual food from his partner. In the parting lines, the poet shows the cold, detached look of men that teaches
women to die alone.

Structure & Form

This poem is written in free-verse as there is not any specific rhyme scheme or meter. The overall poem consists of
twelve lines. de Souza uses end-stopped lines to make her points. Her lines sound like a series of advice to women
concerning the art of coping up with the trauma of romantic detachment. She talks directly with readers from the
perspective of a third-person speaker. Besides, the amalgamation of short and long lines creates an artistic effect
inside the text.

Poetic Devices & Figurative Language

Eunice de Souza uses the following poetic devices in order to make poetic thoughts more effective and appealing to
readers.

● Enjambment: It occurs throughout the text. Eunice uses this device to internally connect the lines. It also
creates a suspenseful transmission between the lines. For example, it is used in the first three lines.
● Metaphor: The poem begins with a metaphor of “cats”. It is an implicit reference to selfish lovers. There is
another metaphor in “litter trays”. Here, a woman’s body is compared to a litter tray.
● Alliteration: It occurs in “Keep cats”, “to learn to” and “great green”. Readers can also find assonance in
“Otherness of lovers”.
● Epigram: The overall poem is a short pithy saying and the sense stays with the readers. The use of
epigrammatic ideas can be found in the lines such as “Otherness is not always neglect”.
● Irony: It occurs in “Cats return to their litter trays/ when they need to.” Here, the poet refers to the
selfishness of lovers.

Line-by-Line Analysis & Explanation

LINES 1-3
Keep cats
if you want to learn to cope with
the otherness of lovers.

● The poem “Advice to Women” begins with a short, prickly remark: “Keep cats”. Readers can also feel the
harsh “k” sound buzzing in the phrase. In this way, de Souza’s persona tries to be straightforward from the
very beginning. She does not want to kindly comfort the women who failed to understand the treacherous
hearts of their lovers.
de Souza tells them to pet cats if they badly need to learn the art of coping up with a break-up. She
compares the heartless attitude of the lovers to the idea of “otherness”. Otherness is a quality of being
 different. So the phrase “otherness of lovers” refers to the change of mind when men find a better-looking
material in exchange for an old, worn-out piece placed carelessly in their attic.

LINES 4-6
Otherness is not always neglect –
Cats return to their litter trays
when they need to.

● In these lines, the poetic persona makes another pithy remark. She ironically says that the otherness of
lovers does not always convey a sense of neglect. It is not that the heartless lovers do not care for their
partners. They do care for a specific need only. Readers can easily apprehend what this need can be.
However, in the following lines, the speaker metaphorically reveals the need. She uses the metaphor of a
cat and says that they always return to their “litter trays” when they feel hungry. Cats are often portrayed as
a symbol of selfishness and mischief.
The poet uses it for the same purpose. She portrays the physicality of lovers by using the verb “need”. It is
the sexual urge that keeps them around their old partners, nothing else. Women cannot say that “otherness”
is not always neglecting as their partners do return for fulfilling their sexual hunger.

LINES 7-12
Don’t cuss out of the window
at their enemies.
That stare of perpetual surprise
in those great green eyes
will teach you
to die alone.

● In the following lines of “Advice to Women”, de Souza becomes stricter in her tone. She advises women
not to cuss out (curse out) of the window at their enemies. Here, the term “enemies” stands for the
adversaries of their former lovers. Through these lines, the poet makes them aware of reality. As their
lovers have already moved on with new partners, it is mere foolishness to be involved in their private
affairs. In return, they will get a satiric look from them.
The poet uses a metaphor of a “stare of perpetual surprise” in order to portray what happens with women
when they become too engrossed in the affairs of their partners. They get a cold, surprised look from their
heartless lovers if they do so. The “perpetual surprise” stands for their emotional detachment and internal
coldness for their former partners.
Furthermore, the poet uses the visual imagery of “great green eyes”. The color “green” stands for
rejuvenation and new life. It also portrays the idea of passivity. This symbol is used to signify how men
move on with their new partners. Their eyes glisten with the amazement of a new relationship.
This passive look will teach a woman that it is better to stay alone than finding another partner. Such an
incident makes a woman stronger from the inside. She becomes fearless of death. Most importantly, she
does not feel insecure about being lonely or single anymore.

Historical Context
Eunice de Souza’s poem “Advice to Women” was published in her poetry collection, Selected and New Poems in
1994. A Goan poet, critic, and novelist, de Souza is well-known for Women in Dutch Painting (1988), Ways of
Belonging (1990), These My Words (2012), and Learn From The Almond Leaf (2016). In her poems, she reflects
her strict feminist stance while dealing with the issue of women. In this poem “Advice to Women,” she is
straightforward in her response to the emotional instability and weakness of women. Her advice does not reflect a
sense of consolation for the heartbroken women. Her direct advice to them is to be ready to die alone as there is no
magical potion to cure the “otherness” of men.

Questions & Answers

1. What is Eunice de Souza’s advice to women?
The poet Eunice de Souza advises women to pet cats in order to deal with the emotional trauma at the brink
of a relationship. She tells them to always be ready to cope with the passivity and coldness of men. Thus, it
is better to stay alone than being in a relationship with men.

2. What does “the otherness of lovers” mean in “Advice to Women”?

This phrase is used to signify the change of mind. When a man finds a better partner, it does not take him
too much time to forget his previous partner. This “otherness” or change of feelings is referred to by this
phrase.

3. What do the “great green eyes” symbolize?

The “great green eyes” symbolize the careless and frolicking mood of men. Besides, the term “green”
symbolizes rejuvenation and new life. It is used to signify the amazement of starting a new relationship that
can be seen in men’s eyes.

4. When was “Advice to Women” by Eunice de Souza published?

The poem “Advice to Women” was first published in 1994 in Eunice de Souza’s poetry collection, Selected
and New Poems.

5. What is the theme of the poem?

This piece taps on the themes of otherness, physicality, emotional detachment, and the art of staying alone.
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Advice to Women as a Feminist Poem

Eunice de Souza is widely known as a famous Indian English woman poet who raises her voice for women in
contemporary world scenarios. She chooses poetry as a medium to show her protest and to show the position of
women to transform it. Sometimes she has shared her personal experiences and connects herself with all women.
Her collection of poems are Fix (1979), Women in Dutch Painting(1988), Way of Belonging(1990), Selected and
New Poems(1994) and many more.

Actually women are always placed as a secondary position in this society although they are the other half of the
whole human existence and race. Gender discrimination is always prevails here as Women in India always suffer in
school, college, before marriage, after marriage as because of their biological exclusivity, dislocated imperfect
society. In this context Eunice de Souza’s poetry shows the ambivalence in women along with the physical and
psychological position of women in our society. She shows not a particular woman but the whole women race as
they are troubled, unfixed, tormented, and confused.

In her poems we find that she shows her concern for women. She shows the dislocation of mother, daughter, wife in
the same way as the different roles of women suffered different problems. “Advice to Women'' is one such poem. As
a feminist poet, in her poems, she deals with the lives of women in Indian context. In some of her poems she advises
women about their roles in the society, and in some others, she criticizes the follies in women for which they have
remained subordinate to and dependent on men. In the poem, Advice to Women, she tries to make the women aware
of their pains and the reasons behind those pains.
The poem by its length and structure, is very short and straightforward. The poetess advices women to rear cats at
their homes to get accustomed with the strange behaviour of their lovers. The practice, according to De Souza, will
also help them to handle the situation effectively. She comments that the strange behaviour of those lovers are not in
their neglect only, otherness means something deeper, because cats also return to their litter trays when they feel the
urgency to do so. The poem advices or rather forbid women to bother about the enemies of those cats and to cuss out
at them. She advises women to notice the perpetual surprise in those great green eyes of cats, because those eyes and
expression will help them to die alone.

A feminist poet usually encourages her reader, the women, to stand firm on their ground and to speak and act with
fear and hesitation. In Indian context, feminist attitude is still relevant. Women in India, still have to fight for their
right both in social and domestic arena. Eunice De Souza by her life and work has set an example of self-dependent
woman. Many of her poems speak of the deplorable and dependent condition of women. But her poems also give
advice to those ill-fated women.

In this poem, Eunice De Souza talks about the necessity of independent and self-confident mind in a woman. She
feels that the social and domestic life of women cannot be changed until women themselves free themselves from
any kind of dependence on male partners. She advices them to practice to be indifferent to male atrocities. This
indifference would surprise men because they always feel themselves superior to women for their physical power
and so they use this weapon to dominate women. De Souza criticizes this inferiority complex in women and advises
them to be brave and bold. She advises women to ignore men and in order to do that they should practice how to
bear with the otherness of their lovers.

In this context, she gives an example of rearing cats at home. Eunice de Souza begins her ‘advice’ in a decisive and
confident tone.

“Keep cats
if you want to learn to cope with
the otherness of lovers.”

The readers at once get surprised at the suggestion. It is clear that the subject of the poem is the otherness of the
lovers towards their beloved ladies. It is expected from a feminist poet to speak about the deprived condition of
women in both domestic and social fields. Women are jilted in love; they are suppressed, robbed of their right to
speak and to act according to their wish. It has been an elemental duty of a feminist author to speak for the equal
right of women and protest against all injustices against women. But Eunice de Souza, in this poem does not tell
women to protest against these injustices. She advises rearing cats as pets.

To cope with means to manage or to handle something effectively. That means, the poetess suggests that women can
handle this situation through rearing cats. But why? Why does not she suggest a verbal protest? Why does she
suggest such apparently irrelevant means? Does she think that women have no other choice but to make a truce with
her situation and her lover? Does she accept that women are inferior to men and it is their destiny to adjust with all
the adversities? The interest in the reader about the poem grows further with this dilemma. The poetess further
explains that –

“Otherness is not always neglect – ”

That means, she does not include the act of neglecting in the behavioural otherness as only criteria, so the lover can
behave otherly even without neglecting his beloved lady. Then, the poet again mentions the case of cats –
“Cats return to their litter trays
when they need to.”

Now this ‘litter-trays' are a kind of trays containing some absorbent granules to absorb the excretes of cats when
they are indoors.

The indispensable questions that arise in the mind of the reader after reading the first six lines of the poem are –
What is the relation between a cat and the deplorable situation of a woman? How can the practice of rearing cats
enable women to cope with the otherness of their lovers?

To find answers to these questions, first, we have to find answers to another set of questions – Why does the poet
suggest keeping cats instead of dogs? What is special about keeping cats or how do cats behave as pets? Cats behave
very uniquely as pets. There is a strange type of majesty and haughtiness in their

movement and they never become obedient completely to their keepers. They are slaves of their own whim. To train
those cats the keeper has to possess enormous depth of patience and perseverance. To speak more elaborately, cats
are not as faithful as dogs. Cats demand pampering, they enjoy the coziness of the household and the lap of their
keeper, but they never endure complete obedience to their keeper. So cats, in this poem, are a symbol of a kind of
unique psychology. Cats do show otherness in their behaviour time and again.

So if women practice rearing cats in their houses, they would definitely grow the habit of keeping patience and
perseverance. They will have the habit of facing behavioural otherness of dear ones as cats will become dear to them
as pets. They will have to consider that cats will not always behave according to their wishes. Gradually, a habit of
mutual sustenance of parallel existence will evolve. According to Eunice de Souza, this psychological
transformation is the primary requirement for a woman to answer back the otherness of her lover. With this
resolution of being indifferent to the indifference of lovers, the poet asserts that – “Otherness is not always neglect”
(1.4) – as the woman has already seen that her pet cats return “to their litter trays/ when they need to” (II. 5-6). If we
dive deep into the metaphor of returning to litter-trays, we find that the men are compared to the pet cats in this
stanza and the women are compared to fond but resolute keepers of those cats. As cats cannot stay away from the
litter-trays at their most urgent need, men are also compelled to return to their ladies to refresh themselves in body
and mind. A woman should have confidence in herself about this moment and, perhaps, Eunice de Souza suggests
women to utilize that urgent moment to answer those men back, in their own manner. That will teach those men a
proper lesson.

The poetess becomes serious from her sarcastic tone of the first stanza (IL. 1-6). She analyzes the problem more
psychologically in the last six lines. Behind the metaphor of cats, she continues her discussion about how to deal
with the fickle attitude of men. She advises women not to be hostile to external provocations to those men their
enemies). Metaphorically, the enemies are the stray cats which envy the domestic coziness and comfort of the pet
cats, and they try to provoke those pets to leave behind the security and comfort of the household and become wild
like them. The keepers cannot resist their pet cats unless they themselves want to stay back. It is because the cats are
slaves of their own whims. The poetess tries to make women clear about the fact that they should not get aggrieved
at the otherness of their lovers and blame the Vices and provocations from outdoors. Instead, they should once again
put to use their experience with their pet cats. They should see into ‘those great eyes’ of those pet cats.

Whatever, the meaning of that stare of perpetual surprise’ may be, but the realization it will arouse in a woman is to
accept a life where she is alone among many, she is lonely even in presence of her lover, as he wears a false ‘stare of
perpetual surprise’ in front of her hopeful ‘stare of perpetual surprise’, making their relationship, with a ‘stare of
perpetual surprise’, an orphan.
Women should come out of the false faith of patriarchal shelter. They should feel individual and establish
themselves independent of any emotional pampering. In this light of interpretation of the poem, we can conclude
that the poem, “Advice to Women” is a fine example of feminist poem.
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What advice does the poetess, Eunice de Souza give to her readers in the poem, Advice to Women?

The poetess Eunice de Souza's "Advice to Women" encourages women to build isolation in relationships. De Souza
does this through an extended metaphor so that she compares a person in a healthy love relationship to a cat. Cats
are not needy. They come when they need to but otherwise stand out and they always keep them random.

As the title suggests, in her poem "Advice to Women," De Souza is giving advice on how women should react to
romantic rejection. By metaphorically comparing females to cats, she encourages women to look at cats as models,
while being treated unfairly or shaken by romantic partners. Cats are known to be arrogant, conceited and
indifferent. They come and go as they please. They do not hold a grudge against their enemies. De Souza believes
that women should be treated the same way. In a sense, her poem is a tutorial on how to be happy and unmarried.

She explains that cats will teach women "how to fight lovers differently". Cats are certainly the unique kind of
people who like to do their own thing, which is usually the opposite of what anyone wants them to do. Yet, the
poetess continues, cats do not always neglect a person. Instead, they "return to their litter trays when they need it." In
other words, the poetess claims that lovers come around when cats need something, she means, do the same and the
result is not always pleasing.

There is no help for this, the poetess points out. There is no need to be upset. One only has to accept the fact that
cats will always be surprised, perhaps forgetting that someone is present and perhaps forgetting why they should be
cared for. Lovers, obviously, do the same thing, leaving one until the end.
The poem strongly reflects her own personal beliefs as she chooses to remain unmarried. De Souza urges her female
readers to be as happy with themselves as cats are, and to handle romantic breakups with the same indifference to
the world of cats when lovers behave unjustly, rather than being indifferent.

The speaker's tone of cool indifference mirrors the optimistic attitudes that her female readers will embrace. It flies
in the face of the intensity that we usually associate with love poems. The poetess refuses to adapt itself to the
devices of literature with the coolness that we often associate with love verses like the last rhyme or addition.
Women don't have to play these traditional games, the poem implies that this poem does nothing more.
However, the general theme of most of Eunice de Souza's works is the denial of women's segregation and patriarchal
traditions. The target audience for most of her work is the female population. In some cases she criticizes women
and in others she encourages them. She aims to make women more aware and empower them.
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THEME
Women's roles in a relationship - The poet is making known her predicament without hesitation. She adopts a sharp
tone with an independent voice and underlying rage in her poems. The poetry appears as an expression of a woman's
emotional striptease deprived of what she desires after. The conflict in their minds between tradition-bound roles and
between feminist learning has left them perplexed and bewildered.

END
The poet's confessional style here discloses her mind's insecurity. She seems to be yearning for comfort and peace at
the cost of her crushed, inner desires, but there is a constant trace of strain and frustration. The use of animal
imagery increases the poem's significance in dealing with the problems of relationship indifference.
A close look at the history of civilization shows that it is the history of woman suffering and oppression and also it is the history
of patriarchal hegemony. This patriarchal domination was developed a long time ago as Sita’s story in Ramayana shows the
actual position and status of women from time immemorial. In the course of a woman’s life, she has to undergo several
cumbersome ordeals to prove herself as a daughter, wife and mother. Not even Ramayana but Mahabharata also give no space
and scope for women. Everywhere it is shown that only men are powerful and women's role is to support and balance man and
society. Women only play the role of second fiddle in this society. So women are shown in a marginalized position from the
beginning and there is a sheer need for women to raise their position and to give voice to her needs and rights. The nineteen and
twentieth century gave so many women who raise their voice to show the world their actual condition and also want to establish
a position in this society. In the genre of literature women writers come forward to show these. In poetry also many women poets
arrive who represent the woman in their poetry. Among them notables are Imtiaz Dharkar, Kamala Das, Sunita Jain, Mamta
Kalia, Gauri Deshpande, Eunice de Souza and so on. Bitterness, frustration, dissatisfaction and self revelations are found in their
works.
Among these Indian English women poets, Eunice de Souza emerged as a very well known feministic poet who showed how
women are treated in a society under patriarchal domination. She firms her position by showing the consciousness of the women
community by enlarging the boundaries and borders of women created for them. She is really a poet with rebellious and feminine
sensibilities as sometimes she is confessional, sometimes she shows gender biasness and differences, sometimes she shows
women’s sense of alienation and her protest and satire over all these. She wants to create a position for her and for the whole
women being in familiar, domestic and social life. Her poetry also shows the growth of psychological, inner and emotional
potentialities. She has portrayed her own experience as a woman also in her poetry. Her collection of poems which seal her
position as an Indian English woman poet in world literature.
Eunice de Souza is a confessional poet as she expresses her anguish, her frustration, her depression. Actually she unlocks her
heart to show her pain and also to get some relief from emotional and psychological point of view. She shows her personal life
experiences and tries to communicate with the whole woman being socially, culturally and politically. She broadens the border
for woman before the world. Woman is the epitome of beauty and this beauty is caged. In a confessional mode she also shows her
inner contrasts, conflicts, loss, alienation, gender discrimination and at last satires on the entire male dominated society through
her poetry. She is the poet of post modern independence era and her poetry reflects her efforts to liberate the woman soul from
primitive, orthodox, traditional male bondage and customs. This confessional mode gives her freedom and flexibility which she
uses in a very crafty way in her poetry.
Her chief concern is only the woman and their life. In some poems she gives advice to them and also in some poems she criticizes
them in order to change their follies. Whatever she has done that proves fruitful for women. She is the victim of a biased society
but she not only shows her biases towards society. Her poetry shows her bravery, her life principle, her undying optimism and
optimistic pessimism to some extent.
Actually a close association to her poetry shows her fractured emotion, frustrated relation, unfulfilled dream, isolation, aloofness
and many other themes. Daruwalla once wrote about her, “One is not conscious of the poet suffering from any persecution
complexes or hallucinatory fears as one reads her. And yet only a part of the above statement is true.” Her ‘Advice to Women’ is
a poem where she states the dryness of the lost tone with a combative, resigned and friendly way. She wants to make the women
aware about the pain they receive from others. Here her prime focus is on the otherness of women:

“Keep cats if you want to learn to cope with the otherness of lovers otherness is not always neglect cats return to their litter
trays when they need to.
Don’t cuss out of the window At their enemies that stare of perpetual surprise In those great green eyes will teach you to die
alone.”
(Advice to Women)
In the concluding lines it can be said that Eunice de souza’s poetry offers two levels of meaning. On one hand she shows the
suffering and humiliation of women and on the other hand the complexity and rebellious nature of them. A deconstructive reading
of her poetry shows all these. Her dissatisfaction with the society, its rules, its attitude towards women and its gender
discrimination makes her poetry confessional in tone, dualism in meaning and rebelliousness in nature. Her mode of expression
often are satiric, ironic and bitterness in meaning as she is saturated, tired and irritated to see how a girl is treated to shape her
and mould her to fit in this society. They are made stereotypical and they are bound to behave according to society. She is not like
the early Indian English Women poets as she protests against the inequality of women both physically and mentally. Due to his
inner anger, suppression, suffering, pain, oppression, humiliation and gender indiscrimination, she often becomes confessional in
order to share her experience and also to get some relief. She takes stand for all the women through her poetry in order to give
reaction against all these.
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