Types

Of

Women AUTHOR
RAMESES R RAMAGWEDE

EDITED BY

MARY M. MANOKO

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Copyright © Rameses R. Ramagwede

ISBN: 978-0-620-59810-1

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a

retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical or otherwise, without the prior permission in writing of the
publisher.

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I was born into a Christian family and like any child in a Christian
family I was raised by the standards of the Bible. Going to church
was not a choice, but a way of life. With time the word of God,
which was planted within my heart started to grow and the
understanding also came to life. I understand that the things we do
revolve around choice. We choose a lot of things that we want to
do and depending on our choices, our lives are shaped from one
form to another. If I have chosen the path that my parents always
wanted me to live, I do not know the kind of person I was going to
be, yet I understand that the choice thereof would resemble an
element of their words. No one understand life better than God,
because He alone fashions it according to his will and all we need
to do is to obey him by not doing what is contrary to his will.
Although I am not a saint, yet I know the difference between right
and wrong just as much as I know the difference between a man
and a woman. As soon as one understands the difference between
right and wrong, it is only then that one will make a good choice. I
am saying so because any choice which is made when one knows
what’s right is likely to bring anticipated results. I have also learnt
that there are things I cannot change or choose. No one can choose
his or her family. No one can change his or her character. Only God
can change or transform our characters according to his will
because he understands each and every one of us hence he has
created us for a purpose. Even though most of us do not
understand that, but through prayers and humility the light always
shines where there is darkness. Reference is found in 1 Timothy
1:13-14 where Paul was transformed by God and instead of
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persecuting His children, he became an apostle, preaching the
gospel of truth. One of the lessons that I enjoyed when I was still
active in church was Types of Women. The story contained in this
book is revolving around that lesson, because it portrays the type
of a woman I am today. There are several types of women,
according to King Solomon in the book of Proverbs, and they are:
foolish woman, quarrelsome woman, woman with bad outfit, evil
woman, promiscuous woman, and a gracious woman to name a
few. Among these types, there is only one which is pleasing to God
and it is a gracious woman. It is very difficult to determine some of
these types by mere looking at someone because each type has its
own characteristics and most ladies are good pretenders. It is
possible that one can change from one type to another from time
to time or even mimic them simultaneously for many reasons, and
I am saying so precisely because I had their first-hand experience.
One of the reasons was experiencing life the way other people are
experiencing it or for the fun of doing it. As you read along the
scriptures you will understand that your character resembles one
of these types and I believe it is for your own good to know and
understand the type you are. There are those women who talk too
much drawing all attention to themselves yet their talk is empty.
Could there be any reason they say an empty vessel makes a very
loud noise? They know how to ruin your day with the structure of
their words and trust me they are good at it. The more you talk to
them is the more they make noise. I am deliberately calling it noise
because noise is unwanted sound and the same goes for the sound
they make; they mistaken it for communication. Men do not want
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to be around these type as much as some women dislike their
presence because they will just turn you off or even lead you into
committing sin. I know about this because my tongue used to be
hot as Portuguese chillies and I am not proud of it; even if they say
there is a price attached I would rather live without the trophy
thereof. There are those women who are understanding and
caring. They know how to brighten your mood without any harm
and being around them is just divine. They are ambitious, and they
know how to shape their future well. They do not eat the bread of
idleness and they adapt well to any situation. Their lives are led by
the Holy Spirit and it keeps them strong all the time. Even when
they walk pass you the environment changes due to the inner
peace oozing from them. There are those women who are too
demanding, and I am not hesitant to tell you that I am one of them.
They are not satisfied with what they have. Their repetitious
demands drives men away from them and they end up having
labelled men wrongly. I love shopping because I find it therapeutic
whenever I go through a breakdown and I know that I am not alone.
Most ladies love shopping so much that it has become their second
nature. I always believe that it is good to demand from your partner
because in that way you are showing him that you are the only lady
who is authorised to eat from his hand and his pocket. There are
those women who are gifted when it comes to the matters of being
in many affairs at the same time. I am intensionally calling it a gift
because it needs one who is not afraid of a challenges and the
results that come with having more than one man. I am one of them
and I know that we are a legion because I have friends who practice
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the same thing. There are those women who dress for the sake of
seeking attention from spectators be it other women or men.
When they go for a shopping it is not for the sake of getting raiment
to cover their good beautiful created bodies but to attract men to
themselves. Some of them even do it in church. I love short dresses
yes, but I do not wear them when I go to church because I feel that
the place is too sacred for one to be exposing certain portions
therein, no wonder some evil spirits cannot be cast out. The evil
spirits feel that it is their territory. There are those women who are
simple and loose. Any man who approaches them always win them
over even if the motive is not love. Some men call them an
experiment bed precisely because whoso want to experiment
certain things always go for them. It’s a pity they do not know that
a reputation is something that one should guard with his or her life
like a rare Tanzanite stone. King Solomon described them as foolish
women. Their talk is cheap and they are always going up and down
the streets awaiting men to go with them. Although I am not a saint
yet I know that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and it is my
duty to treat it as such. It is also my advice to you to do the same if
you understand that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. If
you do not understand that your body is the temple of the Holy
Spirit or if you do not know you better consult the. Please do not
get me wrong, but I feel that I should say you are like a goat in the
midst of sheep because of the attention you seek. If one of these
characters emanates from your heart, then you are living a true life.
Please, do not get me wrong; when I say a true life I am not
referring to a righteous life before God. All I am saying to you is
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that you are not fake. Never forget that you reap what you sow.
Most of us are people pleasers, and we cannot do anything without
getting approval from other people. I call that being a fake person.
If you are living your life for the sake of getting praise from your
friends or people around you please stop it before you regret when
you look back at the number of years you would have wasted. You
were not created with a copy and that means you do not have a
replacement. It is not a mistake that God made us the way we are.
I understand that the reason the types of women appears in the
Bible is for us to know good from wrong and desire to live a good
life by choosing to be rectitude and follow the right steps all the
time. I do not wish to tell you the type of woman that I am, because
I am a good pretender who knows how to smile while deep inside
steaming like a boiling kettle. I have been evil and it was not one of
my favourite experiences, however, for the sake of giving you a
picture of who I am at current, I think it is wise to tell you that I have
experienced being all the types that I have mentioned to you; as a
matter of fact I have chosen the one I am enjoying the most,
because it portrays my purpose very well. I do not want you to copy
my life because you do not have what I have and you also do not
know the methods that I have applied in order for me to be where
I am. The information contained in this novel is not a complete
memoir about my dear good or bad life according to the way you
are going to judge as you read along, but a portion of it. You are
also not going to know all my reasons, yet the ones I have shared
with you are enough for you to catch my drift, so live your own life.
I am still young, and I am not hesitant to tell you that time exposes
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everything. Make sure that when time unfolds, you are still in a
good position to move around, because there are certain things
that cannot be changed or undone. Once you do them you have
passed one stage in life and you will never be the same person that
you used to be. Take careful consideration and make sure that you
are living the life you have always wanted to live; you can choose
to live like a heathen or live a life which is intertwined with the call
of God, because it is only through godly consciousness that you will
choose to live a good life. He will enable you to understand why you
need to be a gracious woman and not an evil woman. Remember,
do not become a copycat living the life of someone or pleasing
other people instead of living your life to the fullest. I am not the
hottest girl in my neighbourhood, but I am good-looking and I just
enjoy my looks so much. Today is Friday and my mom knows so well
that with time I will be going out. She understands that there is no
problem with me going out because with time I will either become
a lady who is as cool as a slice of watermelon in summer or an
unruly child. I am a twenty-five year old lady who enjoys hanging
out with friends and I also enjoy being on my own. I believe that as
a lady sometimes I must have time to myself to think and rethink
the things I wish to do before taking any quick decisions. Orange is
one of my favourite colours and it just blends well with my God
given assets. I am deliberately calling them God given assets
because most of the time they yield me a good return on my
investments. Isn’t that an asset brings an income whilst on the
other hand a liability drains what you have? I thank God for a nice
weather in this season. The sky is without clouds and the breeze
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around is pushing me to wear one of my favourite dresses when I
go out tonight. I understand that my mom would skin me alive if
she sees me in this dress again, but I have learnt to live with her
scolding. Her words are sharp, but they never cause one to bleed.
The best defence mechanism is keeping my beautiful juicy lips
sealed as soon as the tone of her voice chafes me. I understand that
by now you are aware of the fact that noise is unwanted sound.
Have you ever found yourself in a position where you have been
enjoying the conversation with someone and in a twinkling of an
eye a sudden change? As soon as that occurs the best remedy is to
keep quiet and not shout because you end up looking alike. Who is
going to calm the storm between the two of you? I love all the
clothes in my wardrobe and it is understandable because I bought
them for a reason. My dear sister please do not have a problem
with your man when he lays his eyes on me tonight because of my
attire. I understand that when problems emerge one can choose to
deal or not deal with them, but did you think of it that in this
scenario your man’s sight in not the problem, but the results of the
problem? Did you know that I am also not the problem, but my
attire? I understand that you won’t have the guts to come and tell
me that you don’t like my attire on the account that your man who
cannot control his craving and of course because I did not seek your
advice when I went to the store to buy it. Do not forget that I am
not the hottest girl in the neighbourhood, but that does not mean
I am normal either. I can cause men to bow before me and also
cause you to worship the ground I walk without straining myself or
make any physical contact with you; but all this is dependent on my
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mood. You will agree with me when I say every day is different from
another day and the same goes for my mood and the way I dress,
if my mood is bright, you will tell by the outfit. If for once you
thought that you are the only centre of attraction, well think again
because I also fall in that category. Controlling the centre is my
second nature and I enjoy it like a child sucking a lollipop. I love
good food and as such I enjoy going to places where there is good
food and good people of course. I eat all kinds of meat and I always
supplement my dish with veggies just for the sake of diet and
maintaining my good looks. I don’t like using the word beautiful
when referring to my good looks because I understand that no one
is ugly, but through the slippery of my tongue several times I find
myself having used it, so bear with me if you feel that I am giving
myself too much credit. Sometimes you need tell yourself that you
are beautiful and show that beautiful smile of yours throughout the
day and night, because you cannot always wait for men to tell you
that you are beautiful. After all not all of them are being genuine
about it, so be careful darling. Malina is throwing a mini party at her
apartment tonight and I already know that men would be galore. A
man who is shy of ladies does not blend with my style; I get bored
very easily, so if you are a man and you want to appease me, I guess
you start sharpening your tongue and speech in such a way that
communication will flow as soon as you find yourself next to me.
Dear brothers please do not get me wrong here, I am not trying to
say men who are introvert are bad or not good, it is just that they
are not my favourite. Malina and I talk a lot and most of the time
we do it only when it is necessary. You might be asking yourself why
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I am wearing a dress tonight, well, the answer to that question is
that if you want to catch a big fish you must use a succulent bait.
My friends and I have decided to dress this way tonight because the
theme is lift it high, so instead of literally lifting my dress high, why
not pick the one which is already lifted by the manufacturer? I have
beautiful legs and every portion of my body is just luscious so much
that my day to day routine is full of praise from men and small boys.
Have you ever find yourself in a position where you just get random
endless compliments when you are not even dressed that elegant?
Trust me when I say it happens a lot to me and I am so used to it
that I don’t even brag about it because it is not by my parents’
choice that I look this way, but our Father in heaven, yet I
understand that there is a reason why he crafted me this way. I
wear all cuts of shoes, but my favourite is stilettos. I guess it has
something to do with the fact that I can move so well in them
without getting tired, unlike some of our sisters who walk like they
are in pain. They say practice makes perfect, so before you can start
by moving in your stilettos start off by learning how to maintain
balance. Sometimes I thank my dance teachers for the lesson they
imparted to me; please do not get me wrong here, I am not saying
in order for you to know how to move in stilettos you must go to a
dance school, if you were born with the skill you are lucky and if you
are not born with it, well it’s a problem and you know very well that
all problems have solutions; yours might be practice or just not
wear them at all. I am going to wear a purple dress with my purple
Prada stilettos I got from my boyfriend Silence. He gladly bought
me that pair of shoe when we were in Sandton after getting his
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bonus. Are you in a relationship with an employed man or you do
not care whether he is working or not? One of my rules is that if
you are in love with someone it does not matter whether he is
working or not, but if you are in a relationship it does matter. I am
saying it does matter because I have my dear man whom I love with
all my heart and on the other hand, there is this brother who is
hopelessly driven crazy by my dear looks each time he lays his eyes
on me. I always dance to the beat of the music played without
losing any step whatsoever, so if you are one of those brothers who
thinks that you can lay me down because of your memorised words
you walk around to please ladies with, well think again. I do not fall
easily and I am that kind of a lady who will break you and mend you
with my God given assets, so much that even if you feel like
breaking up with me there is this charismatic force which will keep
you next to my bosom for as long as you live. I do not remember
any guy breaking up with me, but I am the one who do the breaking
up. I believe it is fair that way because you did the approaching so
the breaking up must come from another angle. I am not trying to
say you are not supposed to break up with your man or your
girlfriend when the time is at hand because of me. There is a reason
for each and every relationship and if you feel that the motive is no
longer existing for you to be with him then why stay in? These are
all the thoughts in my mind as I am busy titivating my looks for the
night, which is slowly emerging with every minute. I enjoy taking
my time when titivating myself because I strongly believe in that
saying which goes: do it right the first time whilst doing it like there
is no tomorrow. The beauty of going out at night enables me to see
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different men and ladies, in that way I am able to channel those
who are weak and milk them. As a lady you must have command
over men and I always use that opportunity regardless of what
people would say about me. I do not feel like wearing any
pantyhose tonight; the way you see it is the way it is. I am choosing
to put on a character which will attract about seventy percent of
men at the party. One of my lady friends would come and pick me
because I do not have a car. My parents denied me to have a car
when one of my ex-boyfriends wanted to grace me with some
wheels. I guess it’s one of the disadvantages of being born in our
generation, they always tell you to be cautious of the things that
might happen because of your neighbour who got kicked or killed.
The only thing that I know which was going to happen is that I would
be driving as opposed to walking. As soon as I was done, Malina
arrived and we headed straight to the party. Believe it or not, the
place was so crowded that for once I thought my plan of being the
centre of attraction was not going to work. The only solution to stay
buoyant and not drown in that situation was to mingle with the
crowd and constantly send signals to men. I greeted all my friends
and I was also introduced to the ones that I did not know. I love
meeting people and making new friends, but the bottom line is that
I have different portfolios to locate them. Some of them are deep
in my heart like Malina and the likes of Tracy, and some of them are
not in my heart, but in my mouth where I seldom choose to put
them on the tip of tongue. Those are the pretending ones and I only
talk to them when they talk to me because we do not have much
to talk about. Looking all over the place my eyes were graced with
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different legs and different bodies. Some ladies know how to dress
up that they will make you always fall in love with clothes each time
you lay your eyes on them and some on the other hand would just
turn you off. Goodness gracious me, some of them were just
disgusting, how do you come to a party with thick hairy bush on
your legs as if you are a ewe? Could there be any reason why some
ladies always go out at night, but still they come back home empty
handed or with empty pockets? Imagine if you are failing to attract
men at night when it is dark where you can disguise your looks. How
much more when its daylight? The ambient sound from the DJ’s
system was really creating a great environment and I could tell that
everyone was falling in love with it. One of the greatest man who
ones lived on this world said; one good thing about music is that
when it hits you feel no pain. That night the aim was to dance for
the sake of attracting a man with a deep pocket; for as long as his
pants did not have pockets there was no need for such to make
contact with me. They say you break you pay and I say you touch
you pay. It is advisable that you can touch me if you are willing to
sacrifice a thousand rands and if not, keep your hands to yourself,
hence I said I want men with deep pockets. Deep, but not empty by
the way. When Malina and I were dancing to the music a couple of
girls joined us and we did not have a problem with them coming
along, after all the more the merrier. It was the survival of the one
who can twerk the most without losing the beat whatsoever. My
friend and I were making wild moves as if we did not have bones
supporting our bodies. I could hear sounds of enjoyment from the
spectators both men and women and at the same time I could tell
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that rewards time was at hand. Well, I guess you know what I mean.
My dress together with my God given assets were attracting men
with every move I made. Have you ever enjoyed watching someone
preparing a delicious dish so much that you just swallow your saliva
without a morsel in your mouth? If you see my friend and I dancing
you will get hooked to our moves out of circumstances and you will
enjoy watching from any angle that you locate yourself. The beauty
of being at the party that night was reinforced by the enjoyment
and the drinks, not forgetting the lovely creatures created by God.
One good lesson I have learnt about good products is that they
always have many admires whilst on the other hand cheap ones
have many buyers. If you are lose any man can have you, so the
choice is yours. You can choose to me a cheap product or good one.
When you know and understand something you always live a
peaceful life. I know ladies who dress in a weird way and at the
same time not understand how to react in certain situations. For
the record, that night I was dressed in a weird way reinforced by
the book of Proverbs 7:9 for the sake of getting money and not
being touched by any man. I know for sure that most of my friends
amongst us that night left with men because they are loose. You
see, in life there are those friends who belong to your group, but
they do not actually practice the activities that the rest of the group
do and on the other hand there are those who always plunge into
the pool without knowledge. I am now talking to you personally;
who are you amongst your friends? What do they call you? Do they
call you a woman with a weird attire and are you for real a woman
with a weird attire? Be careful how you choose your friends and
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mostly be careful how they choose you. What is the motive of the
friendship? Why did the so-called friends decide to have you in
their group? Are you being used as a bait to attract and influence
men in the group? I will tell you without any hesitation that most of
my friends who were at the party that night did not have any
backbone, for as long as Amber was part of the friendship
everything was okay. Wow! That’s very idiotic. Well with me, I did
not have a problem with that because even though they thought
they were using me, in actual fact I was always ahead of the game.
I knew all the stages of the game and mostly I knew how the game
was always going to end. In life you must have goals; didn’t you hear
me telling you that you must always time the time before the time
times you? Trust me when I say there is no way that you can be in
that position if you do not have a backbone or if you are as stiff as
a frozen lamb shank. Flexibility is of preponderant importance if
you want to catch my drift. My friends who were at the party
agreed on the theme lift it high for the sake of accepting natural
invitations from men who would be at the party. Isn’t that naturally
a man was created to get attracted to a lady? Isn’t that when we
were dressed as if we were at the strip show it would sharpen their
desire for sex? There is no problem with dressing like that if you
know how to escape a swarm of African bees when they strike. Now
let me ask you this simple question: why did you pick that half
centimetre skirt from the store if the aim was not to entice your
man or to attract bees to yourself? A lady’s body is like a
honeycomb in a beehive, only the bees within know how it is
shaped and of course they know the taste of the honey. As soon as
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the badgers and people discover the location of the beehive and
that the honeycombs are dripping endlessly, then all the sweetness
is gone. My dear sister, I am not trying to mimic a saint here, but I
am asking if you are loose? Are the honeycombs still in the beehive
or you are just a shell without honey? That experience is the best
teacher is true and it was through experience that I ended up
understanding that most ladies have lost all the honey to the
badgers and men all in the name of enjoying life. Careful now! Men
know exactly how to press the right buttons without you having to
tell them where they are located. When you want something so
badly your sleep will even escape from you in the darkest part of
the night. That night the party started from six o’clock and ended
at six in the morning, and most of my friends had left with some of
the men who were at the party and some did not leave. The sitting
room, kitchen, bathroom and the dining room turned into
bedrooms that night. It’s amazing what the theme lift it high would
do to people, clap once! That morning my legs were swollen, not
because of dancing, but because of sleeping on the chair: just to fill
you in, around the third hour of the morning I took a chair and a
blanket and sat by the balcony with my beautiful eyes shut to keep
my brain on a sleep mode. Have you normally thrown parties with
your friends and give them themes to blend with the environment
and the invitees? If you haven’t, please feel free to try it and
experience what I am writing about here. There are many spices in
life and the good cooks will tell you that it’s not just a matter of
seasoning your food with any spice that you come across. Do you
know how to differentiate Italian Parsley from Italian Herbs or you
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just season your food without knowledge? What I am trying to
understand from you is that when you invite guests do you just
conjure any person you come across, because they have two legs?
The following morning the entire apartment was sticky with a
fusion of different drinks. Some corners were used to answer the
number one call of nature; goodness gracious me! Who was
supposed to clean? Malina made history that day I should say.
Allow me to wrap up that experience by telling you that not all
women who dress in a weird way are weird, so be careful how you
dress and mostly know your body. Some do it because they do not
know which side to take. They are like someone sitting on the fence
not knowing to which side to jump to; for as long as their friends
from any of the two sides say jump they will surely jump not
minding how the surface looks. Are you that kind of a lady who does
not know which side to choose? You will forgive me for a touch of
strong language throughout this book, but for the sake of painting
a picture which will enable you to see what is really within me, I am
compelled to use it otherwise the story will lose the taste I want it
to contain. Did you know that men are not interested in a loose
woman, but on the other hand they would not mind using such kind
of woman should they come across one? Did you know that the way
you dress says a lot about what and who you are? Did you know
that your name is just there to differentiate you from someone, but
what you do and how you do it is exactly who you are? I would like
to give you an example of what I am talking about. If I am a drunk
in that I am always full of wine or booze and of course my name is
Amber, and on the other hand there is this Amber who is different
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from me; will you not agree with me when I say to make it easy for
someone to know who reference is being made to, saying Amber
the drunken master would be more precise? So in this scenario
Amber who dresses like a scheberesh would be more appropriate.
Please do not get me wrong, I am not saying dressing like a
scheberesh means that you are one. Be careful that it does not
become your second nature to an extent that you start acquiring
the acts of a whorish woman. Won’t you agree with me when I say
a mousetrap does not look like a trap to a novice rat? When it lays
its eyes on the cheese suddenly the mind is shut and the entire
focus is directed to the cheese. It does not think of the ways and
means of getting the cheese, but all it thinks of is consuming the
cheese. It’s a pity it does not know that there is no way that it can
get the cheese without getting killed; poor creature. My brother,
some ladies dress like that, it is as if they are covered, but you can
see any portion without having to delve into the dress. Some ladies
enjoy it so much that they even hate winter season because it does
not enable them to make use of their half centimetre skirts. Some
are in between and you might be wondering why I am saying that,
but the answer lies around the fact that some end up having
developed strong biceps and triceps because of pulling the short
dress downwards forgetting that it was manufactured to expose
the thighs. God forbid. Did I go home having money from one of the
loaded men that morning? No, but they took my numbers. I am this
kind of a lady who knows that patience can cook a stone, so I will
wait. Around ten o’clock in the morning I was at home changing my
outfit to a decent one, because one of my banks was coming at past
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eleven to take me out to do my hair. At his arrival, I greeted him
with a hug and a Holy kiss. As soon as we were in the car I asked for
his phone to go through it. I did that for the fun of doing it and to
check his Whatsapp. I was sitting on the passenger seat and I went
straight to a chat between him and one of his colleagues. It reads
thus: - “It’s been five years now that my girlfriend and I are together
and I just feel that it’s about time I propose. Proposing love is good
if you are proposing to the right person and it’s a dangerous thing
if the person you are proposing to is not the right one for you. Oh
come on! We have been together for five solid years. Don’t you
think even the angels in heaven know that we are meant for each
other? I cannot say that. Most people gauge their relationships
based on the number of years that they have been together and
not love and the connection forgetting that it’s all about love and
nothing else. Well, we do love each other and we are happy to be
with each other. We do have quarrels now and then. All
relationships do have fights. There are certain things that I have
learnt from other people and I believe that it would be wise if you
heed to what I am about to say. Talk to me, you know I am a good
listener. First, being a good listener does not only imply that you
listen with your ears and exclude your actions. It is more of an
action than opening your ears. That is true, but I thought you
wanted to talk to me about love and not my listening skills. Yes, but
I need to start by laying a good foundation which is “listening” so
you will listen to me attentively. I am listening attentively. Have you
ever realized that most people spend their precious time trying to
do the impossible? Impossible how? There are certain things in life
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that cannot be learnt from a book and one of them is a human
being. I agree with you big time. Most of the time you would have
heard people telling you that you need to understand your partner
for you to satisfy her right? You are right. Are you telling me that I
need not to understand her in order to satisfy her? If she is your
suitable partner who was created for you by God, there is no need
for you to study her, because she is your other half. You are
confusing me Grace, I do not think your theory makes any sense to
me. Do you know the things that you need and the things that you
want? A need is something that I cannot live without and a want on
the other hand is something that I can live without. Do you know
the difference between knowing something and understanding
something? Yes, I do. If you know how to do good to yourself, then
you will also know how to do good to your suitable partner since
she is your reflection. Still, you are not making sense. One reason
most relationships are always at the scrap yard is because people
spend their precious time studying their partners instead of
expressing love. Well, the same people you are talking about do
stay in marriage for thirty years until death do them apart. Staying
in a relationship does not mean that you are happy, but staying in
a relationship with your suitable partner is a good thing. Oh, now I
get you. You will always suffer if you fall for someone who is not
happy to be with you. That is so true. I call that singing a love song
to someone who would not listen to your love song. In other words
you are making noise to her. I dislike noise. The same way you feel
is the way your partner would feel if she is not happy being with
you and for as long as she sees you she will remain that way. How
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do I make her enjoy me? God never said, he will create you a
partner that he will love for you. It is your duty to love your own
partner and to be precise it is your duty to love your fiancée. It is
tough. There is a big difference between impressing someone and
expressing love. Please elaborate. Most men are in the habit of
impressing their partners and common sense teaches that when
you impress, you expect something in return, either from your
partner or your friends. Okay, I see I have been doing things the
wrong way. As human beings we are supposed to express love not
impress. When I say express I mean acting on it. Not only saying
things with my mouth and not putting them into action right?
Touché! Most men will promise you heaven and earth as if they
have been to heaven, forgetting that they are in love with human
beings not angels. Isn’t that if I do not impress her, she will find
someone to do that? Already your question is being driven by fear.
You want to impress her with things instead of showing love. Never
buy love, because when you do not have the money she will walk
away. 1Eish! I never thought of that. I am aware that you have never
thought of it. You need a loving heart to stay in love. Okay, thanks
for enlightening me. If there is one seed in life which does not need
water or manure to grow regardless of the season, type of soil and
climate: is the seed of love. What does it need? All it needs is a
loving heart, but if you stop watering it with love and cultivate it
with trust and happiness it will die. Oh my goodness! Women are
vulnerable to that and they break easily, so never take trust and

1 Eish – Sound of amazement

22 | P a g e
happiness away from them or else they will tear your world apart.
I will never do that, you are my teacher and I always enjoy listening
to you. I understand that you have been with Amber for five years,
but has she been with you for five years? What kind of a question
is that? All I am trying to say is that is she happy being with you?
Did she force you to propose her or it was your decision? Well, I am
not sure if she is happy being with me because sometimes when I
ask her to be with me she always give me lousy excuses. Are you
sure you are ready for that or you are doing it to chain her to
yourself not knowing that she cannot change? There was a time she
got involved with four men and I still forgave her, now I am sure she
has matured. Did she tell you that she is no longer doing it or you
assumed that she is no longer doing it? Now you are making me
uncomfortable, why are you asking me all these questions? If she is
yours you will know her like the back of your hand and you will not
hesitate to answer any questions about her. So in other words you
are telling me that she is not my suitable partner, because I do not
know her? You have answered yourself. How can she be yours and
share herself with other men? It was just a little misunderstanding
now we are fine. You are just consoling yourself. She is acting like a
foolish woman or a promiscuous woman, but in reality you are the
foolish one for as long as you are in a relationship with her. One
reason most people do not succeed in life is that they spend their
time looking at what other people are doing instead of watching
their steps. I cannot agree more with you on that one. It is not about
knowing your enemy, but knowing yourself. There is no way that
you can know the thoughts and plans of somebody’s heart. Why do
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you waste your energy trying to dig the ground and involving
yourself in their personal affairs? Isn’t that if they wanted you to
know they would have done so? I guess it is human nature. You
have convicted me and right now I do not think I am ready to
propose. Do not propose for the sake of impressing people, but do
it because you are in love and you feel that the time is ripe that you
should do so or else you will suffer and people won’t be around to
calm the storm when the waves are tossing high. Now she is going
to leave me if I do not put a ring on her finger, she gave me a
mandate that I should propose to her by June this year or else she
is leaving me. She is desperate; is it love or something she is seeing
around you? Come on! It's love. If she is yours, then why is she
talking about leaving you? If she leaves you who is going to suit her
since you are the suitable one? You see now you are pushing it too
far. Do you think a sane person can go out to pick thorns instead of
flowers? I guess not. Common sense teaches that if I am walking
away from you, it’s either you are not the one for me or the
satisfaction that I used to get has somehow disappear. That is true.
If the happiness and satisfaction is still intact, why would I drift
away from you? Those are the questions that you need to ask
yourself. Trust me, I am asking myself right now as we speak. Not
long ago we spoke about impressing and expressing. Ask yourself if
she is walking away, because you cannot impress her or because of
the way you are expressing love. Clearly, it would be that I am failing
to impress her. In simple words she is asking you to impress her
with a proposal ring, but sugar coating it with love, which is not real.
I feel weak right now that lady is using me and I thought I was in
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love. I once found a picture of this guy on her photo frame on my
way to the bathroom and as soon as I came back it was removed.
Did you ask her who the person in the photo was or you just kept
quiet? I only kept it to myself, but even today I am still asking myself
questions and I have not found a satisfactory answer to that
question. For as long as you are asking yourself there is no way that
you are going to find a satisfactory answer, rather you will keep
answering yourself until you confront her. If I confront her, she
might leave me and I just cannot afford to lose her. But she can
afford to lose you and never have any problem with that. She is
expressing herself, and on the other hand you are impressing her.
How am I impressing her? Everything that you are doing for her is
because you want her to stay, you are paying a monthly rental fee
to get her love while she is expressing her true feelings to other
men. Life is not fair. Actions speak louder than words. Her actions
are loud and you are just too blind to see them. I am telling you that
you are choosing to be blind precisely, because you are afraid of
seeing her with somebody else. I have planted my seed of love in
hell expecting to hear gospel music, but in fact I am dancing with
Dracula. Thank God you know the truth. I hope you know the beat,
because Dracula changes his steps without any signal or else you
will not keep up with him. How do I start to love again after I have
been in a relationship for more than four years? Welcome to your
life.” Wow! It was a nice and sweet conversation about me, but the
truth he did not know was that he was just one of my finance
directors. If only he knew that I was not even prepared to marry
someone like him he wouldn’t have start the conversation with her
25 | P a g e
colleague. It is true that I have told him to get me a proposal ring,
but I did that for three reasons: to push him away if he cannot buy
it, and to beautify my finger with a ring, and to have it as a pest
control. Mind you he was taking me to one of the good malls to do
my hair so that in the late hours of the evening I can be in the hands
of another man. As soon as we arrived at the mall the poor guy
escorted me to the saloon and he was the one who choose the
hairstyle that would suit me best. I was only expecting him to spend
eight hundred for my hair but he chose a Brazilian. Wow! That
choice made me to understand that he had money, and at the same
time I just thought of asking for some a pocket money although I
knew that he was going to give me. You see, one good thing about
my boyfriend is that if you ask for something he would always give
you more that you requested, so when I thought of asking for a
pocket money it’s because I knew that he was going to give me
more. Trust me when I say he was talking but my mind was just
thinking of the ways and means of getting more money from him.
That day a service was not only rendered on my hair because even
my nails were dressed as well. Clearly this guy likes me or loves me,
but it’s just that I was not in the position where I could be a wife
espoused to anyone at that time, neither a thought thereof. As
soon as I was done he held my right hand by his left hand and we
walked out of the saloon to one of the restaurants in the mall to
have lunch. A table for four was picked and at the back of my mind
I was asking myself many questions as to why a table for four and
not two? As soon as we sat the menus were transferred to our
hands, I needed a strong drink just to kick the hangover I incurred
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yesterday. As we were sipping I saw this gentleman and a dripping
gorgeous lady coming towards our table and as soon as they arrived
my boyfriend elevated himself from the chair to introduce them.
The name of the lady was Grace and his boyfriend was Tebogo. By
just looking at him I could tell that I was going to stick my claws
deep into his heart so much that he would never look at his
girlfriend again, precisely because he had a smell of a player. We
were eating and drinking and at the same time I was thinking about
the date in the late hours of the evening. On the other hand
Tebogo’s eyes were speaking in volumes and mine were responding
positively. Now this guy’s foot was busy on my thighs under the
table and I was just enjoying the contact thereof. It was as if he
could read the content of my heart, I remember I was all smiles so
much that his girlfriend even asked if I was always smiling and my
boyfriend being a buffoon at that moment said yes. Wow! If only
he knew that it was nothing, but Tebogo’s foot, which was stroking
me like it was a geese’s feather he was not going to say that. He
handed me his numbers under the table and I knew that he was on
the hook. How on earth do you do such in front of your lady and of
course hitting on your best friend’s lady? I understand that Tebogo
is a best friend to my boyfriend and my boyfriend works with Grace.
Now this is the lady whom he was chatting with on Whatsapp about
me. Let’s see if Grace knows her man since she can narrate my
character so well to my boyfriend. If she knew the things that her
boyfriend was doing to me at that moment she wouldn’t have said
anything about me. Isn’t that he has turned into a gynaecologist
because of my presence? How does your man behave in the midst
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of ladies or how does he act when he sees your best friend’s lady?
Does he appear to be a general practitioner or he is a gynae? I am
a very good pretender, I am able to adapt to all four seasons in one
day without experiencing any harm. We were talking about
relationships and I knew that the topic came about because Grace
and my boyfriend wanted to learn few things about me. Wow! I
have been in a relationship with this man for five solid years still he
does not know me. He only knows me to be this soul which is loving
and caring. You see, that’s how I wanted to appear before him, I did
not want to pear like a strange woman, but in actual fact I was
strange in some ways, yet he was failing to pick it. Let me repeat
something I have told you before; the types of women appears in
the Bible for a reason and you can choose any type which you like
or love the most. It’s all up to you, but the fact is that you will always
bear the consequences one way or another. There are four types
which I have not come across in the Bible and they are: “Gold
digger, Moody woman, Untidy woman, and the Peacock woman”.
There are many gold diggers, hence the one narrating this story to
you. There is no way that a gold digger will stick around a man if her
demands are not met. She is materialistic, but she always
encapsulate her actions with fake love. I am deliberately calling it
fake love because the poor man must always pay to be with her.
Are you a gold digger in some way? Isn’t that sometimes you would
even give the poor man an ultimatum that he must not come near
you for as long as he did not buy you that pair of shoes you saw in
one of those top stores? Well, if you are not a gold digger that’s
good for you. Do you want to know a little secret about me? I am a
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gold digger in some way. Most men and some sisters would agree
with me when I say a handful of ladies are moody. Some men call
them robots; today she is green, the following day she is amber and
on Friday she is red. When she is green, she is the nicest person
that you have never seen on earth. When she speaks men would
think that she has a degree in speech therapy and of the ladies
enjoy her presence, but let her turn red. Goodness gracious me,
now she is as hot as chillies and she has this gloomy face, which tells
you not to even get close to her because clearly her mood will burn
you down. Are you one of those ladies who live like their lives are
being controlled by a remote? Could there be any reason why men
do not want to be around you? How do you expect a gentleman
hand around someone like? You are so amazed when you see
everyone distancing themselves from. Next time don’t be amazed,
they are keeping their distance because of your mood swings. I
know of ladies who will tell you that I am very moody as if it’s some
sort of a blessing or a calling. Wow! How can one have a calling in
repelling people instead of attracting them? Are you one of those
people who have that invisible signage on your office door which
says “keep out”, because you are broke? You need to understand
that you are broke because of your own circumstances and it has
got nothing to do with your colleagues, so get rid of the long face
and smile. One of the reasons most men would prefer being alone
even though they are in a relationship is because of their ladies
mood swings. It is a spirit, which needs casting through prayers.
There is no way that you were born to be bitter, it was by your own
choice. We also have the untidy woman, my goodness and most of
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the time they want to be noticed by men. If you are a woman and
you an enemy of water, and on the other hand you don’t take good
care of yourself then you need to understand that you are the worst
enemy of men. Men do not want to be around a scruffy lady. It is
far much better for you not be that visually appealing, but on the
other hand there is this sweet pungent smell oozing from you all
the time. I know that amongst my friends there are those who
hibernate when sinter season emerges. The hibernation thereof
would also mean that they will not even consider bathing for the
whole day. How do you feel when your armpits are contaminating
the other people’s sense of smelling all in the name of winter? God
did not give us the winter season as punishment, but a blessing.
Some even have cracks on their legs so much that the poor man
can’t even buy them pantyhose because it is of no use to them.
Their feet don’t even need a foot scrub, but a grinder to get rid of
scary erosions. You were born beautiful and you were also not born
with those cracks on your feet, so please bath or else you will keep
men away from you and to be precise your future husband. I know
of those ladies with short dirty nails and those with longs clean
ones, when we grew up they used to teach us not to have long nails
because they are prone to collect germs. Imagine you have short
nails, but it’s as if when you are tired of walking you walk on your
hands. Naturally we expect ladies to have soft and clean hands, but
if they are soft, but dirty do you really expect any bother to ask for
your hand to dance? I doubt that. Cleanliness is of paramount
importance if you are a lady. Let me not even delve into certain
ladies’ apartments. Goodness gracious me! If a guy is to call saying
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he is coming some would even have to lie saying they are not
around because the entire house looks like a kernel. As for the
smell, even a skunk is better. How do you think men are going to
ask your hand in marriage when you live like an animal? After eating
you just ditch the plates in the kitchen, but you leave them lying
there for four days. Wow! Don’t be such an untidy lady. Naturally
we understand that men are the ones who are not that extremely
clean, but imagine if a man is better than you, how do you feel
about that? Do you even have a lip care to anoint your lips just to
excrete that beautiful juicy smile like mine? You don’t need a
thousand to be clean, even a five rand ointment does wonder. No
offence, but please take care of yourself. On the other hand we
have the peacock, these ones behaves like the sun revolves around
their heads. Whenever they emerge into the scene people always
run for cover, because they have too much pride. Dear sister you
know that your friend is born into a poor family, but whenever you
are out with her she would rather your remains instead of buying
her a separate plate. Most of the time when you ponder on her
behaviour your will realize that it was because of this brother she is
dating. The guy is filthy rich and because now you can eat bread
with cheese when you were eating without anything, you feel that
you need to look down on other people. You should listen when
people with pride are talking, trust me if you are like me you will
easily get bored or even throw up. Their speech is full of me myself
and I. Everything is about them, but danger comes when the wheels
turn. Some of them end up killing themselves, because they cannot
imagine asking amber for two rands to top up a loaf of bread that
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they are failing to buy. Be careful of how you treat people and make
sure that you do not allow that spirit to be within you because it
will do you more harm than good. Always remember that God hates
people with pride. My dear brother and sister reading this book.
These are the types I wanted you to know about before getting
back to the lunch the four of us were having. Now a question was
asked as to when was the right time to propose love and I could see
Grace looking at me with a lovely smile. Wow! Seeing that the
question was indirectly directed to me I said it was only wise for a
man to propose when he was done playing. I was indirectly talking
about her man whom I could tell that he was weird. Isn’t that she
was failing to see the things he was doing in her presence and at
the same time she was able to see my life as if it was playing on 3D.
I am saying so because she was telling my boyfriend that I was
expressing myself whereas he was impressing me. At that moment
I could see that she was smiling and at the same time nodding her
head saying I was telling the truth. Of course I was telling the truth
about that. Indirectly I was also telling my boyfriend not to rush into
putting a ring on my finger because I was going to take it a
pawnshop and trade it for cash when I was tired of wearing it. By
the look of things Grace was such kind of a lady who claims that
they do not take nonsense. If a man behaves in a certain way she
would punish him for the whole month by not allowing him to visit
her thinking that corporal punishment is the right way of
correction. If you fall in that type of ladies be careful how you
exercise it, because you might just push the good man away from
you and at the end of the day you will suffer when the door to your
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jail cell is shut for good. Life is always like that, we are able to see
splinters in other people’s eyes, but at the same time we fail to see
and feel the logs in our very own eyes forgetting that it is always
better not to judge anyone, but mind our steps. I also asked if any
of the guys around the table knew the true character of the ladies
who were seated around the table. I could see that none of them
was willing to answer that question. Seeing that they did not want
to answer I asked Grace if she knew her man so well that she could
put her head on the block to be chopped off should people say
something bad about him. She nodded her head and I further asked
if she was always around him. Her response was that he is a loving
and caring young gentleman who would never cheat on her
whatsoever. That did not answer my question, but I did not have a
problem with it because she was just trying to act smart. Poor thing
those were just words to impress the people around the table, but
the man was expressing himself and to be precise he was already
cheating on her as soon as he saw me. I wonder how she was going
to react if I was going to give her the serviette with his number
written by his own hand. Isn’t that she would think that I have asked
for his number since I am labelled a man snatcher? I further asked
when was the last time that the two of them were together like that
day. She said it was a month ago and I was pushed to ask if he was
working for seven days in a week without any break; if he was
having day offs then did he ever spend them with her. I remember
I was also putting a smile each time I asked just like she was doing.
My good brother and sister I always believe that the attitude you
give is the very same attitude you will always receive when you deal
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with people like me, but always remember one thing: we don’t
shed any blood hence that law which says, “Thou shall not kill”. Her
answer was that he knows how to express his love to her in such a
way that she would care less about what he was doing when he was
not with her. I further said in simple terms she was indirectly telling
me that she did not know him like the back of her hand. Smiling
again I said what if the very same way he expresses his love to her
was the same way he was expressing it out there or maybe even
better? I asked her what was her motive of being in a relationship
with Tebogo. I asked her that question even pointing at him by
means of my right hand, because I had a fork on my left hand and
her response was that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with
him. True that, but that did not answer my question. Isn’t that one
can spend the rest of her life with someone out of fear and love? I
was forced to ask her if she was convinced that he really loved and
respected her that he would never cheat on her. She nodded her
head. After asking that question I could see my boyfriend and
Tebogo smiling. I wonder why she nodded her head instead of
vocalising it, to me it was obvious that she was not certain about it.
I turned about and ask my boyfriend if he really knew the kind of
person I was and for a moment he was startled at my question. He
said he does not know much, and he would rather keep it that way,
because he understands that the less he knows the better. Wow!
The poor gentleman was been honest, it was best for him to know
less about me than putting his big nose into my personal affairs
because that was the quickest way to die than swallowing poison. I
also turned about and asked Tebogo if he really loved Grace that
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he was willing to spend the rest of his life with her. My boyfriend
could not hold himself but burst in laughter seeing that I was
interrogating them. He gulped his drink before answering me and
after he said he believes that she would make a great wife. She
looked at him and at the same time she asked him if he could give
a better answer and as soon as she said that my boyfriend asked
her, what she would consider to be a better answer according?
Wow! She thought she really knew him, but in actual fact she was
far away from knowing the truth. She has him as her man and she
was sitting next to him, but I was experiencing all wild actions from
him just to proof that she did not know him. Do not beat your chest
or give yourself a pat on the shoulder thinking that your man is the
best man when you do not spend time with him. It would be much
better if you don’t allow such kind of thoughts to even emanate
from your mind because you will fall and break into pieces. Have
you realised that most of men’s promises are like biscuits? They
break so easily; they will promise you heaven and earth, and some
would even tell you that they are allergic to ladies forgetting that
they are in a relationship with a lady. There are many ways to kill a
cat and on the other hand there are many ladies who would not
mind being in a few relationships. Be careful my sister because your
man might just come across one of those ladies. It’s not like he is
having a leash around his neck keeping him all day long around you.
At that time I was pushed to share something about a strange
woman with them. I started off by asking if they knew what a
strange woman was and they all looked at me as if I was out of my
mind and seeing that they were not responding I started flowing
35 | P a g e
like good water from a river. “The lips of a strange woman drop as
an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but her end is
bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.” That is Proverbs
5:3-4. I quoted that scripture and I could see that I got their
attention because none of them visualised me as a lady who could
quote a scripture from a Bible forgetting that even the Devil knows
how to quote it so well. Isn’t that he was one of the arch angels? Be
careful who you associate yourself with because you might be
thinking that you are in the presence of the Holy Spirit when in
actual fact you are far away from such. I told them that in life there
are many types of women and that day I was only going to talk
about a strange woman and should it happen that we were going
to meet in the near future I would definitely narrate another type.
Many are times that we find ourselves in positions that we live our
dear good or bad lives, but not knowing where we are going. We
react to situations and circumstances differently and based on our
reactions we resemble certain characteristics of different types of
women. According to the scripture I have shared with them a
strange women knows how to smooth talk people so much that you
are bound to believe every word that comes out of her mouth. Did
you know that there are those ladies who would lie to you and at
the same time you would believe them without any spec of doubt?
Even if you have caught her red-handed still she is able to find a
way to clean off the blood from her hands. This is one of the
dangerous types that you could ever fall in love or be in a
relationship with because you will never know them whatsoever. I
liken this type to serial killers in that they know how to murder you
36 | P a g e
with their speech without making contact with you or using any
weapon bought from any store. Looking at Tebogo who just gave
me his number was it not obvious that he was treading on
dangerous grounds not being aware? Just because I am visually
appealing to your dear sight does it mean that my soul is also
beautiful? Be careful of who you engage with. What if this guy was
to sleep with me and in return I ruin his reputation for as long as he
lives by twisting the experience from agreeing to sleep with him
into a rape? Some men do not think twice, as soon as they see
someone in a skirt they conclude that it’s a good lady. The
communication that I was having with Tebogo, though it was not
verbal yet it was loud so much that it was obvious that we were
going to meet each other come hell or high water, nevertheless he
did not know the type of a woman he was going to meet. Imagine
if a strange woman walked around with a name badge written “I
am a strange woman,” isn’t that no man was going to approach
such unless that man was also strange? I like the part where it says
her ways are moveable meaning you will not comprehend her.
Wherever she treads she makes sure that all her tracks are
removed. Whilst I am telling you about a strange woman, I am being
reminded of the time I was out with my friends and we were just
having good time when few blokes joined us with this dude who
was flaunting his possession. I ended up going with him for the sake
of teaching him a lesson, which was so bad that he hated hearing
my name, even if it was on TV I believe he would rather turn it off
or change the channel at the sound of my name. After sleeping with
me I said he was going to give me a sum of two thousand rand every
37 | P a g e
month or I was going to tell the police that he rapped me. It was
only last year that I released him from prison. You must be careful
of who you come across, just because you enjoyed me showing
good moves on the dance floor does not mean that you would
enjoy my real moves in life. Woe to the man who would fall for
such. I am not trying to bad mouth ladies but I am aware of the fact
that such type does exist and it is at large. Those men who rush into
things like a fish seeing a bait will get in to trouble. Will you not
agree with me when I say sugar and salt look alike if you don’t pay
close attention or taste to understand which one to put in your tea?
Imagine having put salt in your tea thinking that its sugar. Now you
tell me here, how do you sniff the difference between a good lady
and the weird one? Will you not agree with me when I say it is only
through the actual experience that you are going to tell the
difference? There are those ladies who are not employed, but their
dear parents know them to be working because every month there
is some sort of an income that they are making. The million dollar
question is how are they making such money? As a parent you don’t
even ask your daughter the name of the company that she is
working for and mostly she does not even talk about some sort of
a trip with her colleagues, how her boss is giving her tough time at
work and so forth. As long as she is coming back with grocery every
month water is under the bridge. God forbid. You will be shocked
when your house is set on fire through your daughter’s ways of
living. Another part of that scripture says her end is bitter as a
wormwood, and sharp as a two-edged sword. When you lay your
eyes on certain ladies they are as gentle as falling leaves and sweet
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as a nectar which attracts many insects because of the sweetness
thereof, but as soon as they have you all that changes. Isn’t that the
appearance is in such a way to disguise you so that you fall into their
trap? Logic tells that I will never cry to have something that I already
have in my hand, rather I would make sure that I do not lose my
grip from it. The same goes for certain ladies, they appear sedate
as a patient before an operation, but as soon as she calls you the
likes of: my love and sweetness the beast is getting unleashed.
When a dear brother tries to ponder upon the situation she lure
him by her delicate speech which is as sharp as two-edge sword. It
does not matter, which angle you have positioned yourself at
because any word that protrudes from her lips is able to cut you to
the bone. When she sees that you are sinking into her fountain of
fake love she seals everything with a kiss and you being the victim
are left without words, but respond to the act thereof. Isn’t that
they say if you can’t beat them you must join them? My slogan says
if you can’t beat them you can choose to be on your own if you
don’t believe them to be your type. Show me any man who would
think of approaching beautiful lady if one of the contribution factor
is not sex. My dear brother do you real think that as ladies we do
not know that the main aim is for you to see our nakedness?
Consider comments from men that we see on social media when a
lady post her nude pics. It is as if it’s their first time seeing such,
even those who would not personally approach a lady, but as soon
as they see such pictures wisdom becomes their second nature.
Wow, won’t you agree with me when I tell you that it is one of
strange acts? It is a form of communication and trust me it’s louder
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than real words. One of my experiences when I was still working for
one of the big retail companies I have learnt that a signage is called
a silent sales man. I would like to reinforce that by informing you
that even a nude picture is a silent sales man, it never says a word
to anyone, but it speaks volumes. Could there be any reason why
most of the landmarks on the road side are in the form of a signage
and pictures? Isn’t that when any driver sees a petrol station
signage a thought about the next filling station and checking the
fuel gauge crosses the mind? You go to any country it is like that,
but imagine if it was not in that format was it not going to be
difficult for drivers to actual read sentences? The same goes to a
picture of a naked lady, you go to any country a naked lady remains
nothing but a naked lady regardless of the size and shape. After all
God created us differently or else you were not going to
differentiate Amber from Grace. Now imagine if one would tell you
to picture my curves and my boobs without you knowing and seeing
me, won’t it sound strange to you? You need to understand that
her end is bitter as a wormwood. The Bible did not make a mistake
when it said that, this does not literally mean that if you lick her she
tastes bitter, my understanding is that she is going to make your life
bitter. Isn’t that through experience you will end up giving up on
love because you feel that such does not exist? God forbid. There
is no need for you to think that way, it’s just that you came across
a strange woman and you were too blind or you did not know that
she was strange because she appeared as a sheep, but in actual fact
she was a lion in a sheep skin. Another part of that scripture says
that “her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.” That’s
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Proverbs 5:5. Isn’t it obvious that after you are in a relationship with
her you will see all her colours and mostly you will experience her
ways as well? At the end of the day you will hate any lady that
flatters and gradually you will start losing the taste of life so much
that you might end up doing wild and evil things. God forbid. You
went all out looking for a lady who can twerk and never considered
her heart. Pathetic! At that moment I could see that everyone was
shocked to hear me talk like that. I remember Grace said she did
not know that I could talk like that and my response was that she
used a wrong instrument when measuring my intellect. My dear
brother and sister if you want to live a good life, you do not walk
around judging people. My lesson about a strange woman ended
like that. You might be asking yourself why I decided to talk to them
about a strange woman, and the answer is that I was indirectly
telling them that the elements of a strange woman were infused
within my heart and I personally did not care what they thought
about me, because frankly they did not know me. We left the mall
around past eight at night and I could tell you that my phone had
about fifteen missed calls from my date. It was not a problem
because one way or another I was still going to meet with him some
other time. My boyfriend drove me home and I arrived in one piece,
after spending a couple of minutes with my mom I went straight to
my bedroom and I was not in the mood of chatting on Whatsapp.
The following day I woke up around six o’clock in the morning,
headed straight to the bathroom to empty my bowels and brush
my teeth. I have beautiful teeth by the way. As soon as I switched
on my cell phone I received volumes and volumes of Whatsapp
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messages from Tebogo. At the same time I was thinking to myself
if I should really go out with him or play him big time. I made up my
mind that all he needs was a lesson that he would cherish or hate
for the rest of his life. I answered to his texts and as soon as my first
text was delivered he was online chatting with me. For each and
every awkward text that he would send its either I ignored or
answered in a very decent way so much that he even asked if he
was chatting to Amber. He was spiking his lines with endless
compliments about my looks, the tone of my voice, the way I eat.
My goodness! It is true that men will give you compliments for the
sake of winning your heart. I enjoy it because it’s not like I do not
know the outcome thereof. The exit of the conversation was the
agreement that we were going to meet late that afternoon just to
catch up, I wonder what he wanted to catch because it’s not like he
was single. Guys let me ask this question? What is so important
about catching up with another man’s lady? In the afternoon after
having cleaned and cooked I prepared myself for a date, which I
would like to call drinks and talk. I did not care whether he was
going to come and collect me or if I had to catch a taxi to the
complex. Around five o’clock he text me informing me that he was
at the gate. I told my mom that I was going out with a friend and
she said it was okay. My mom understand that I am a grown up
lady, as long as the basics were covered she did not have a problem
with me going out. She would always tell me that I must make sure
that I have cooked and that the house was in order. I remember
there were some days that I would be angry at her saying she is
making me work like a slave, but according to her, she would always
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say she was teaching me how to become a good wife. The things
mother do indeed. I wonder what your mother taught you as lady.
I could see that as I was walking out she was peeping through the
window to see who was collecting me, and at the same time she
was amazed to see a car she has never seen picking me up before.
By default I knew that when I come back she was going to ask me
many questions; well, there is no problem with questions, but there
are those questions I do not answer for the sake of peace. As soon
as I arrived I Tebogo was encapsulated with smiles and at the same
time radiant as the sun. He greeted me and we drove straight to
the complex as per our conversation. Now I was wearing a very long
dress with flat shoes. As soon as we arrived I was holding my
handbag with my right hand so that he did not have to hold me by
my hand. We went straight to one of this fine restaurants which I
knew they serve good coffee. I love coffee so much that if we don’t
have it at home I would rather drink lemonade even when it is cold.
We located at the outside because the inside was a bit crowded and
that I wanted to have a private session with him. He was sitting very
close to me as if I was his girlfriend. Well, I was either going to be a
friend to him or a foe after the experience at hand that day. One
thing I would tell about him is that he talks a lot and there were
scenes of stupidity in his conversation. Now one thing I have learnt
from my professor at school was that, when you are funny people
will laugh, but when you are silly people don’t laugh, but you laugh.
So, just to give you a hint about the experience that day; his
communication style was thirty five percent funny and sixty five
percent silly. I simple terms Grace was in the hands of a moron. I
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asked him why he gave me his numbers when he could see that I
was with my boyfriend. His response was that he fell for me as soon
as he laid his eyes on me. Well, that’s normal I guess, but even
asking for my number in the presence of my boyfriend and his
girlfriend was not a wise move at all. I just know how to deal with
this kind of men, the best way was to impart some knowledge to
him. Personally I do not like men who take advantage; you see if
you want me don’t act smart, because I will always be the one on
my heels while you are on your knees begging. Lying through my
teeth I said I informed my boyfriend that I was meeting him, so he
must relax because water was under the bridge. As soon as I said
that I could see his face changing and I asked if everything was okay
and he said partially. I asked if it was a criminal offense that I
informed by my boyfriend that I would be with him and he said my
boyfriend would have problems with him because he is his best
friend. Wow! Now he was getting exactly where I wanted him. Why
do you want to date your best friend’s girlfriend if truly he is your
best friend? That was another question I asked him and he said he
has feelings for me. Okay, I told him that there was something that
I would like to share with him and he gave me all his attention. I
told him that I did not have a problem dating him, but that would
only happen after he has given me satisfactory answers to my
questions. “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running
waters out of thine well.” That’s Proverbs 5:15. I quoted that
scripture to him and after I asked if he I was his fountain that he
would like to drink water from. For a moment he looked into my
eyes and he said he did not understand what I was talking about.
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Well, I have patience and I asked him why he would like to sleep
with me as if I was his very own Grace and his answer was that it
would depend. I asked him if he knew what a prostitute was and at
the same time he nodded his head. Cool bananas, now I further
asked him if he would not mind sleeping with a prostitute and he
laughed out loud, but I was as serious and relaxed as someone
knitting a winter jacket. He said he would never do such, and I asked
if there was a difference between a prostitute and Amber. At that
time I could see that he was a bit shocked so much that he even
chocked on his drink, but being a pedagogy to him that day I passed
him a serviette to dry himself. I remember telling him that a
serviette can be used for exchanging numbers and at the same time
I can also be used for drying liquid. He smiled, but I was still waiting
for him to answer my question. He said I was not a prostitute and I
answered him that I was one, the only difference was that to them
it’s some sort of a career and as such they get a stipend for their
services but with me, it was because of men like him who would
treat ladies like that. I told him that men like him always want to
bite more than they can chew. Men like him are not different from
a child; have you ever observed a greedy child sharing food with
other children. He or she would pick food with both hands,
suffering the poor mouth to grind tons and tons of food with the
eyes focused in the plate that the rest are not taking more than he
or she is picking. He has a beautiful lady, but he felt that what my
boyfriend was getting had also belong to him. “Let them be only
thine own, and not strangers with thee.” That’s Proverbs 5:17. I also
quoted that scripture to him and this time he never said he did not
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understand what I meant, because it was straight forward. He
asked me if that was my way of saying no and I said it was my way
of asking if he understood what he was doing and mostly if he knew
the kind of lady was. I further asked him if he was in the habit of
sleeping around with many ladies and he was very defensive when
answering my question, but all I need was a yes or no answer. I
asked if Grace was his only fountain and he said she was. Wow! I
smiled and at the same time I was asking if I was Grace and mostly
if I was not a stranger to him. The poor guy said he understood that
I was not Grace, but the bottom line was that he wants to date me.
Okay fair enough, but I wanted to know if he thinks my boyfriend
who happens to be his best friend would date a prostitute and his
dear answer was that, he might date a prostitute not being aware
that I was one. Again it revolves around choice. Now that he spoke
about choice, I asked if he was choosing to date a promiscuous lady
or if he was choosing to be prostitute who would get paid by my
God given assets and he just looked at me as if he was seeing a fire
wood. I further quoted Proverbs 5:19 which says, “let her be as the
loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;
and be thou ravished always with her love.” He said it would be
wise if we kept the scripture to a minimum because they were
making him feel bad. Wow! This guy was crazy to tell me that. I was
created to be a lady who belongs to one man and you are also
aware of it that is why you even want to meet up with me in dark
corners. How many ladies do you want to have? Is the one you are
having not enough for you? After quoting few scriptures to him I
wanted him to understand that being a promiscuous lady is all by
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choice, there is no way that one would say I was born a
promiscuous lady. This guy really wanted to see my nakedness and
because he did not have respect for himself, and mostly for ladies
the best way was for him to look, but not touch. There was just no
way that I was going to date him whatsoever; even if I was a
promiscuous lady still I would not do it with him because he was
disrespectful. Isn’t that you must be satisfied with what you have?
The woman of the street are not doing it for satisfaction, but a
career. Tebogo wanted to employ me as a promiscuous lady, but
unfortunately I was not available to fill that post. As ladies we have
this look that we give men and the interpretation is sometimes
wrong, but with Tebogo it was not so. When he said he fell for me
he was lying, rather he was lusting after my looks. Proverbs 6:25
says, “Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take
thee with her eyelids.” Your heart can be a very good organ and on
the other hand it can be full of wild imaginations. There is no
problem with looking, but it is a real problem if you look and at the
same time your heart tells you to taste. There are certain sights and
things that you need to avoid in life, as soon as you see or taste
them it is thrice more difficult to come than it is to go in. At first it’s
just a taste and after it becomes your true nature that you cannot
live without. You are espoused to this beautiful lady of yours, but
at the same time you go out looking for promiscuous lady all in the
name of releasing stress. Goodness gracious me! Is your lady not a
stress reliever that she should satisfy you in and out of time? Why
do you lust after someone’s lady and allow her eyelids to lead you
on. Are you that weak or it’s a sickness of the mind? Beware of
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promiscuous lady. Isn’t that her acts will snare you so bad that you
will end up being a slave of your own self. Tebogo was not liking my
words at that time and I cared less about his feelings because what
was in my heart had to be known to him. The next scripture I
quoted was Proverbs 6: 26 which says, “by means of a whorish
woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will
hunt for the precious life.” I did that to reinforce what I just said to
him and that’s how I closed the lesson about a promiscuous
woman. After I was done talking to him he requested if I wanted a
refill and I nodded my head. More coffee for me was all I need at
that time. For a moment he was looking into my eyes and I did not
know whether he was admiring them. He asked who I was and with
a beautiful smile I said now he was asking relevant questions
instead of asking me out on Whatsapp as if he knew me. “My name
is Amber and I am a girlfriend to your dear friend who would stone
you to death should he find out that I was with you on a date”. He
laughed out loud and nodded his head. I gently asked him if he was
still interested in being in a relationship with me and it took him a
while to answer, but he finally said yes. Wow! My eyes nearly
popped out at his answer. My humble request was that he should
break up with his lady if he really wanted to be with me and he said
he wanted us to remain adult, but enjoying nature’s goodies. I
deliberately told him that he was referring to no strings attached
type of a relationship and he nodded his head. Well, I told him that
I don’t do such, because according to me I would be behaving like
whorish woman, so unfortunately it was a no. It’s either he was in
a relationship with me or with Grace. The poor guy was hurt and to
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be honest with you I was not, because I did not consider myself a
promiscuous lady. I do not care what people say about the type of
a lady that you are, but my biggest concern is if you really know and
understand the type you are. Did you know that you can be in a
relationship and at the same time be a promiscuous lady? Did you
know that you can act wise, but in actual fact being a foolish
woman? Did you know that you can be the Jack of all trades moving
from one type to another pleasing your friends or pleasing your
very own self? Up to so far, what type of woman would you say I
am? A foolish woman, strange woman, or a whorish woman? Be
careful how you point your finger at me not seeing that some of the
characteristics about this ladies manifest in your dear life. Tebogo
drove me home after our chat and his failing to win my heart. As
soon as I got home I dished out supper for everyone and we all ate.
My mother came to the kitchen to be with me when I was doing
the dishes and we were having a mother to daughter chat as usual;
it was a great lesson indeed. Did I tell you that my mother enjoys
sharing the word of God with me almost each time I am around at
home? Do you have time for the word of God? Do you even pray
before you sleep and when you wake up or you just dive into your
blankets? I find it very fruitful to share the Word, you should try it
sometime. You might be wondering why I like sharing the Word
wherever I go, it’s because of my dear sweet mother at home who
just know how to channel me to the right direction although I am
as stiff as a rock. She believes that with time and continuous sharing
of the Word I will shape out to be a good lady. She started off by
sharing a piece of scripture as usual. I quote: “withhold not
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correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he
shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his
soul from hell.” That’s Proverbs 23:13-14. As soon as she said that
scripture I smiled because I knew it was directed to me. She told
me that the words that she was going to say to me was the beating,
which was aimed at delivering me from the pit of hell. I nodded my
head with a very serious look, because I really needed that lesson
even if it would be bitter or sweet. She was telling me about my
behaviour as her dear child. I was asked if I was walking on the right
way and I found it very difficult to answer her question, not because
I did not have an answer, but because I did not want to breathe the
words to her. I knew that my ways were not right at all and many a
times that as children we always want to appear to be good when
in actual fact we are far away from being good. Seeing that I was
not answering her question she asked me how many boyfriends I
had and even the second question was still tough to answer. I
remember I just looked into her eyes with a shy look and she said
the reason I was not answering is because I was going to give
unfavourable answers to her questions. She was right about that. I
had about nine boyfriends at that moment and I could not tell her
that. She further told me that the reason she was calling them
boyfriends was that none of them was my man, because if it was so
I would have informed her about him, so in a nutshell I was just
being like a female dog. I felt my spine getting cold as if I was in the
cold shower, because of the harsh reality I faced at that moment. I
remember she even told me that I was the last person to be running
around with men because my older sister was killed three years ago
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by a boyfriend because of a cell phone. I was nodding my head
when she was talking and I could see the seriousness with every
word that came out of her mouth. She then asked me the type of a
woman that I would like to be when I grow up. Wow! I remember
telling her that I was a grown up, so I did not understand what she
coined her questions like that. Without any hesitation she said to
me I was not a grown-up. A grown-up do not behave like me, they
do not sleep around with men fulfilling nasty desires all in the name
of making money or being in a relationship. She further told me that
she understand that I was not working and that I want to have a job
and make my own money, but how did I expect God to bless me
with a job when I was going contrary to his will. I remember telling
her that I was praying every day for the job as much as I was also
sending my resume to different companies. Wow! She said what
was the use of praying and sending my resume with the hope of
getting answers to my prayers when I could sleep around with
directors to offer me a post. Goodness gracious me! Her question
really hurt me so much that all the happiness that I had inside
escaped from me. Painful as it was my loving mother was being
honest and she did not care how it was going to sit with me. Seeing
that I was hurting she said she wanted to teach me about the types.
My goodness, that day all the skills I always exercise on men was
not even going to help because I knew that she was going to lash
me big time. She told me that in life there are types of women that
she has been seeing me putting on every day of my life. I am used
to teaching my friends and other people about the types of women,
but that day the table has turned and it was my turn to learn from
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my dear mother. She told me that I possessed characteristics of a
strange woman in that I knew how to smooth talk a lot of men and
when I asked how she knew she told me that the reason I was
having many boyfriends was nothing but through the flattery of my
tongue. She has seen most of my friends and we are not different
from strange women. The things we say about men when we are
together really proved that we are strange. It was up to me to
continue living like that or to do away with my old and present of
living. I had to do that by shedding some of my friends and pray to
God to direct good ones to me. She further told me that I had the
elements of a woman with bad attire, because I enjoyed going out
seducing men. When I dress I do not do it for covering my body and
respecting my body. She also knew that I was sleeping around
because there was no way that those men would stick around me
if I knew how to keep my body sacred. Again she asked me how
many men have seen my nakedness if what she said about me was
wrong. She said maybe that was harsh and as such she had to
change the question and say, how many men in my neighbourhood
knew my nakedness. That was bad, because in actual fact it was a
handful and I was still doing it even at that time. She told me that
my father knew me to be a very good girl and each time she would
talk about the way I dress he would say its fashion. My mother
would always answer him by saying there was no element of
anything fashionable by walking around naked. In simple terms I
wanted to walk around naked all in the name of fashion instead of
just wearing my shoes without clothes and go out, because in actual
fact that was the whole point. I remember her saying, my dearest
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daughter I am your mother, but I can tell you without any hesitation
that your reputation has fallen, because of the wicked ways I have
chosen and I think its life. I was also told that my wardrobe was full
of miniskirts and all cuts of garments with the sole purpose of
enticing men and not coverage. She further told me that I was
making more money than her because she would only get her
salary once a month, but with me I was getting it anytime I wanted
it because I was a promiscuous woman. I was selling my body
because almost every night I was on the street selling my beautiful
body to men. She told me that one of the reasons she does not
want to leave me alone in her house was because I might turn it
into a house of prostitution. I was even told that I am stubborn
which is one of the characters of a woman with a bad attire. My
daughter such kind of ladies do not want to heed to the rebuke of
their parents because they always have answers and mostly think
that they know everything in this world. I told her that I always
listen to her and that I was not stubborn, but she told me that one
of the reasons she I still have the same taste of clothes in my
wardrobe when she has told me several times to do away with
them was to prove that I was stubborn. At that time my mind was
deep in thoughts because I did not want to let go of my clothes. I
love them so much that I just could not see myself letting go. She
then moved to another type, which is a foolish woman and I
remember I laughed when she said that because I knew that I was
not a foolish woman. I was shocked when she told me that I was a
foolish woman because I also had the characteristics of foolish
woman. My ears were wide open to hear exactly what she was
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going to say about me. A foolish woman is clamorous, and simple
and she knows nothing. The clamorous side I can agree a bit, but
the simple side I disagreed big time. She told me that I was simple
in that I was having more than one boyfriend, because if I was not
simple I would have only one boyfriend and I would know how to
close my heart to any other man who would ask me out regardless
of what he was going to say to me. She further said a simple woman
would call men to herself that they must go out with her. Well, I
remember telling her that I do not call any man although deep
down I knew that she was partially right. She did not even want to
listen to me, but she told me that my actions were nothing, but a
way of attracting men to myself and that is why most of the time I
don’t even sleep at home. If the environment did not have men I
was not going to sleep out, but because I am foolish woman I would
even follow a snake into its hole without having a weapon to
combat should a battle began. She further said a foolish woman
destroys her own house because of her stupid actions. She asked
me if one day I would like to have my own family and I remember
nodding my head vehemently, and she asked me how I wanted to
establish that when all the men around my neighbourhood knew
my nakedness and that I was a woman of the street. Each and every
night I was out in the nightclub or parties gradually destroying my
life thinking that its life. My mother whom I love with all my heart
was drilling me big time and I remember I was not talking, but only
listening because all this time I thought most of the time when I was
doing my things she was not seeing me. Now what are the things
that you are doing behind closed doors? Are you aware of the fact
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that you might be thinking that you are not being seen, but in actual
fact every action that you are doing is as vivid as drinking water?
Did you know that you might be a foolish woman not being aware
of it? The things that my mother was telling me that day came
straight from the Bible and it was not as if she fabricated them. The
question which really knocked me was when she asked how many
men knew my nakedness, trust me you might think that it’s funny,
but if one day you think of getting married won’t it be a problem? I
am saying so because you would be comparing your man to your
past experiences and at the end of the day life will turn out bitter
when you say the poor man does not give you the satisfaction that
you desire. Who is a foolish woman, are you? She also told me
about a contentious woman and at that time I was no longer
denying because I realised that one way or another she had reasons
to support her statements. I quote the scripture to support her
statement: “a continual dropping in a very rainy day and a
contentious woman are alike.” That’s Proverbs 27:15. She said my
daughter, a contentious woman is very loud and she likes talking
too much so that people can feel her presence. She feels that she
is the centre of attraction because no one can calm her down when
she is engaged in an argument. She asked me why would I even
brag about having won arguments as if it was winning lost souls to
God, because that was better than being litigious. My daughter
have you realised that when you engage in an argument the level
of consciousness is very low? That was a question she asked me and
I nodded my head at the same time vocalising my answer. People
are likely to say thing silly and heavy words when they are involved
55 | P a g e
in arguments, in time the people around you are likely to ignore you
when you start an argument. Now here is a rule of thumb, they are
not ignoring you because they know that you can fight very well.
They are ignoring you because you are like a continual dropping in
a rainy day. Consider how disturbing the sound of rain drops when
you are sleeping under a leaking roof, even if you were having a
nice dream you will be forced to put a cloth in a bowel to stop the
sound thereof. With time you get used to the situation you will
always make sure that a cloth and a bowel is at hand before it rains.
The same goes to a contentious woman, people around her know
that she takes pride in nonsense, busy saying stupid words as if she
is imparting wisdom. Men do not want to be in the hands of such
type of a woman, because the continuous arguments drives them
away from her. My daughter be careful not to drive away your man
with your continual arguments and you are amazed when the poor
men spends his time with his friends and not you. Wow! Mom was
telling me the truth. I know that most ladies are quarrelsome and
you might be one of them. It might be that as you are reading this
book you just had a quarrel with your loved one to an extent that
you even told him to beat it. Here is my question to you: did you
tell him to bit it because you are a saint? How do you feel after
winning the battle, but you do not get a trophy or any praise from
your spectators. I know of ladies who would be shouting as if they
just discovered that their voices can go high or as if they own a
dictionary of hurtful words. They will seal their words that you don’t
know what they are made out of and they do not take nonsense. If
you happen to be young you are in grave danger because they will
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even tell you that you are too young to stand their ground. Isn’t
that when two elephants fight the grass and the ground suffers?
Have you thought of the people who might be around you
listening? Have you thought of it that you might end up losing
respect from your dear partner because of the unruliness of your
tongue? Have you thought of it that you might think people respect
you, but in actual fact they fear the evilness of your tongue? If you
really love someone would you ever say hurtful things to such? Why
do you even use words like, “you are a fool”? Would you call
someone you love a fool? Isn’t that he or she got the skill of being
a fool because you are forever sharpening them with such words?
My daughter I have learnt that if you truly love someone you would
never hurt them with your words or your actions, so consider the
way you talk. People are able to tell if you are a fountain or if you
are a drain through your speech. The best way was to keep away
from any form of fight if I did not want to be a contentions woman.
That night my mother imparted a lesson that I would not forget for
the rest of my life because everything that she said about me
although it was hurtful, yet she had to tell the truth either way. The
following day Stanley and I had a quarrel because he does not want
to buy me a good phone. I told him that he always wants me to spoil
him with my assets, but he does not want to spoil me with what I
want. I further asked him to look at the scrap I was using. Well, I am
deliberately calling it a scrap because a better phones are entering
the market every day, but I was still using a bad phone. Isn’t that
one must move with the times and blend in with the trends? Trust
me this guy was rude, he said was he supposed to pay for touching
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me as if I was a prostitute? Well, I was one, but he just did not know,
and for calling me that he was going to but it with no doubt. I told
him that I wanted to send him good pictures because my camera
was destroyed, which was a lie from a pit of hell. I further told him
that I was his girlfriend, but he makes me feel like a piece of trash.
His response to me was that he thanks God, because it was a
feeling, so didn’t have to worry about it because it was going to
pass. Knowing that I had nothing to lose I told him that he would
never touch me again. Seeing that indeed he was not done with me
he told me that it was just a feeling which will fade away before we
enter the store. With a smile on my face I told him that he was being
a gentleman and I reiterated my question. Are you going to buy me
that phone or not? He told me that my problem was that I think
money fall from trees like oranges. He was even insulting me telling
me that not even my dad can buy me a decent phone. He further
said he was not binding himself with something he can’t afford. Due
to the fact that he was being stubborn I told him that I was not in
love with my dad. I told him straight to buy the damn phone or I
was going to talk to someone to get it for me. I further told him that
he must not forget that I can leave him at an instance and get a new
boyfriend within five minutes. He asked why always wanted to use
my looks to attract him? Do you think you are doing your body any
good by that? I told him that it was not about doing my body good,
but it was all about enjoying life while I’m still alive because there
is no life after death. This type of a man is a no go area it you are
my kind of a lady. He was still going on asking how many things he
bought me since the beginning of that month. I answered him by
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asking him a question how many times he had been eating since
the beginning of that month? If he does it every day, then food is
an essential thing. Gifts are essential to me. He must understand
that a man’s needs are different from a lady’s needs. He agreed to
love me, so he must stop coming up with excuses. He told me that
he was not on a good financial standing to buy me that phone. He
told me that he thinks it will take him about four months to budget.
On the other hand he was begging that I must wait until he raise
the cash, but I was not prepared to do that. Where is the love? Have
you not realised that you have dug all my pockets and right now I’m
left with nothing? That was him and I was frank with him; he should
have thought of it before falling for me. I’m not one of those cheap
girls you’ve dated before, we come in different colours and sizes. I
could sense that the union was about to break in to pieces. He said
he would rather cancel the agreement because it was straining him,
and he can’t even sleep at night. I was told to move on because I
was a liability. I asked him if he was not saying that, because he had
sucked all the juice on me. It's not a matter of sucking the juice, but
it’s thinking for your partner. If your aim is to live with me for the
rest of your life, what do you think we are going to eat if you are
milking me like this? One thing I liked about him was that he would
never ask me anything difficult. I told him that it says we must ask
and not steal; Matthews 7:7 says “Ask and it shall be given you;
seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you.”
Knowing him to be a Christian he said I should stop quoting the
bible for the sake of my benefits, because that scripture doesn’t
apply to what I was doing to him. Seeing that he was not being
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subject to what I was telling him I told him that the bible never put
a limit on how many times one should do it, so I was doing a right
thing before the face of God. His conclusion was that I was stealing
from him the only difference between a robber and I was that I did
not wear a mask. Without any hesitation I told him that men were
created to take care of women, so he must do his duty or else I was
going to suspend him for a while. I was told that God did not refer
to that kind of provision and mostly I was being a mission
impossible. He further asked if I loved him or if I loved the idea of
being in love with him. I told him that he must stop talking to me
about love and express it. I then asked him if he felt loved or if he
felt that I was in love with the idea of being in love with him. Well,
he feels that I was in love with the idea of being in love with him,
and that I have fallen in love with his pocket not his heart. I told him
that his pocket belongs to him so, I did not see any problem with
that. I also remember telling that he should be happy that I have
fallen in love with his pocket. With a serious face he said I must tell
him that I was kidding, because there was no way that he could be
happy that I was taxing him when other couples are enjoying. All I
was saying to him was that other men are in need of me, but I have
decided not to go for them. I chose to be with him, because I could
see that he had the potential of being a good man. I said that trying
to smooth talk him. Oh, so I am a good man? Why didn’t you not
say so? That was him enjoying my sweetness. With a beautiful smile
on my face like that of a mother on the success of her child, I told
him that all this time I have been saying it, but he was too deaf. I
also told him that when I ask him to buy me gifts, it's just a test to
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see if you will be able to spoil me in the future. At long last he said
I know that he loves me and there was no way that he couldn’t spoil
a beautiful lady like me precisely because I deserve goodies all the
time. Rubbing it in I told him that he is a gentleman, not the whining
type, but the one who knows how to handle a lady. The following
day I did not want to be with any man so I was with my girls. Tracy,
Amanda and I were having a friendly chat as usual. These are my
closest friends and we do a lot of wild things together, but if there
is a price to it, I am not hesitant to tell you that I am the one who
takes the trophy. Tracy started off by saying there was nothing new
on the market that I don’t have. I understand she said that because
she was looking at my dressing table. How many perfumes do you
have? The bible says, he who doesn’t work must not eat. I work a
lot and in return my men always buy me what I want. To answer
your question I have only twenty bottles of perfumes. I nearly
laughed when she asked if I was not overdoing it and that I might
end up being in trouble should one of my man finds out. Isn’t that
she must keep away from the field if she does not know how to
play? My body is expensive and it's not for free although I am being
labelled a promiscuous lady, what matters most is that I know what
I am doing. You know what they say about an old dog right? No
matter how hard you teach it new tricks it will not succeed, because
its hunting skills are old. I could see that Tracy was failing to
understand what I meant. She was asked me why can’t an old dog
accept that it's old and forget about new tactics? What are you
profiting from it? The aim is to dig all the gold or else in a few years
to come I will end up looking like a withered flower. I remember
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telling that they were just trying to be like angels and we know
there are no angels on earth. Angels are in heaven watching over
us while men are on earth, taking care of our needs. Tracy said five
years from now I will be crying looking for marriage and it will be
nowhere to be found. I answered my dear friend by telling her that
since she was too churchy, what she thinks about 1 Corinthians
11:9 which says, “Neither was the man created for the woman; but
the woman for the man.” Instead Amanda told me that I was trying
to fulfil the scripture with my nonsense. She further said It is true
the woman was created for the man, but digging into someone’s
pockets is not in the scriptures because God knew that people like
me always want to reap where they have-not sown. Wow! This
people enjoy lashing me, but I was used to it. Just to keep the
conversation rolling I politely asked her who was supposed to look
after me. I further requested her to look at the shoes she was
wearing, it was as if she was not having a boyfriend. For every man
on earth, there are five women, so if you don’t make use of them
some girl will take care of his bank account. One preacher once
said, “There is no pain like a pain of regret.” I understand what he
meant that I mustn’t regret for not having collected what I should
have collected when I had time. I have fifty pair of shoes from my
boyfriends and I’m still going to milk them. I could see that Tracy
was starting love the conversation because of my pairs of shoes.
The same way men talk to you when they want to go out with you
is the way you must ask them to buy you shoes. I remember telling
them that there was nothing difficult about it, because we were all
marketing students and we know how to sell our products and
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services to our customers. Life is much easier with technology. Use
Whatsapp, BBM, or even a text message. Never make a mistake of
calling a man with your airtime. A please call me does it better.
While we were talking like that I felt like educating them about
some of the rules they need to understand. Rule number one: if he
doesn’t call you delete him from your phone, then move on to
target number two. If you call them, they will assume that you have
money and they aren’t going to give you any. Men are simple. They
are always moved when they see our tears, so make every drop
count. Rule number two: when your man gives you what you asked
him for, always accept it with a smile, that way you are giving him
more strength to buy you more things. Rule number three: when
your boyfriend doesn’t always get you what you want and he asks
you to come over to his house, always say you will think about it.
Keeping him in suspense will make him think twice, and the next
time you make a call he will jump like a dog chasing a rabbit. Rule
number four: you don’t allow him to introduce you to his family
until you have collected enough cash. You only make use of him
when you don’t have a choice. Rule number five is that you never
date anyone who is not working, because he’ll be a liability while
you are an asset to him. Why should you starve when there is
always food around you? Rule number six: he must always
introduce you as his lady to his friends. My dear sister reading this
book, be careful, men are good at cheating and they will always
appear innocent before you making you believe that you are the
only one. Rule number seven: you must always hide your tracks or
else your gold mine will close up and you will suffer. Tracy said the
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lessons that I was giving need someone with specialized skills,
because she understands that if she was in your shoes she would
always stumble. Experience is the best teacher, and on the other
hand I was passing on knowledge to my girls. I could tell that by the
way they looked at me they were even wondering if my health was
still intact. Wasn’t it obvious that it was said because of the
dangerous diseases out there? What they did not know was that I
was more cautious than all of them. I told them that mimicking
many characters was solely for building my kingdom. I remember
Tracy saying if only I knew what people call me I was not going to
talk like that. She had the courage to tell me that some people call
me the woman of the street. I told her that I care less about what
people say and I asked them what they say about me when I was
not around them. Amanda said they always good testimony about
me. I call having many affairs nursing my survival. It's easy to collect
twenty pairs of shoes from four boys. Rule number eight: you do
not allow him to go through your phone at all, because you never
know what he will do about the conversations between you and
your spare wheels. Rule number nine: He must take you out often.
A man who doesn’t want to take his girl out is good for nothing.
Amanda was too soft to conform to my rules and that is why she is
a foolish woman. King Solomon said a foolish woman is clamorous,
simple and she knows nothing. She enjoys flattering. Wow! Poor
Amanda the book of Proverbs 9:17 was talking about people like
her. Please don’t get offended. Are you a foolish woman? Are you
that simple in such a way that any man who comes your way would
lay you down? Reference is found in Proverbs 9:13. Amongst my
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friends she was the loudest, but her talk was nothing. I don’t even
feel bad for saying she is empty headed because those words suits
her best. I do not deny the fact that I was in many affairs, but it’s
one thing to be in many affairs whilst being in control and not under
subjection of your men. I do would tell you with certainty that
although I am tasting many types of women as for being a foolish
woman I deny big time, unless your perception tells you that I am a
foolish woman. Remember one thing, your opinion is either
favourable or unfavourable. Rule number ten: always use the word
love to your man and you will eat and get full. Those were my rules
I wanted them to know and it was up to them if they were going to
practise them or not. There was a time that I was in a relationship
with my best friend’s boyfriend and he also knew as well as she
knew that it was a threesome. Seeing that my friend was being
given special treatment than I was getting the only way out was to
cause her calamity. I deliberately told the him to break up with her
if he was he wanted to own me from the roots to the branch and
knowing that he was a nitwit it was not a problem for him to carry
out the mission. The following day he went straight to her place and
started off by telling her that things do not always stay the same.
The poor lady was shocked to hear him say that because her
understanding was that she was the cream and I was the crust. She
therefore suffered him to tell him if there was something bad that
she has done, I remember she even said had he not always told her
that he loves her and that he will never leave her no matter what?
The poor guy said she misread the meaning of his words, which was
a lie because I was the catalyst to all that confusion. You might be
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wondering why I am able to narrate every detail about that event
and the answer is that I was around. He decided to take me with
when spill the beans, maybe now you understand why I said earlier
that he was a buffoon. He told the poor girl that he never said he
wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, rather want he meant
was that he loves her and that was not a lie. It’s amazing what an
evil woman would do to you, you don’t need a Bible to deduce that
I was evil. She said if he did not lie about loving her why was it that
he was leaving her? Wow! I remember that’s where she even used
my name saying was it because of me that he was breaking up with
her. He informed her that there was no use of torturing herself
when she knew that there was no future between the two of them.
My good friend said she knew that there was still future between
them, but he was just choosing to drift from that reality. Our stupid
boyfriend on the other hand said people do not understand the
meaning of words. Love is not something that one retires from. If I
come to you and tell you that I have fallen in love with you it is in
the past. When I say I am falling in love with you, it is at present
continuous tense and it might be until death do us apart. She asked
him why a sudden change when all this time he was not like that,
she further asked him if he was not going to regret with all the
wrong decisions he was making. He had the courage to tell her that
there was no way that he was going to regret because he was in
love with me. The real truth was that he was in love with me, but I
was not in love with him whatsoever. There is just no way that I can
be in the hands of another buffoon. The one I had three months
ago was enough. It was a lesson that I would not want to learn
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again, the boy was so stupid so much that even if I was with another
man he would come and pull me by my hand as if I was a goat. The
poor girl told him that what he said was nothing, but pure words
and no one can see the content of other people’s hearts otherwise
she was not going to get disappointed that day. The guy on the
other hand said she had been a good girl and he also know that she
was going to make a good wife as soon as she finds the one who
suits her best. She told him that since his mind was made up there
was no way that she was going to force him or else she will not
enjoy the benefits of being in a relationship with him. At that time
she said she wanted to share something with him that she has
learnt about love. Our boyfriend on the other hand said he was
ready to listen to what she was about to say and on the other hand
he has also learnt a lot from me. Never find yourself being in a
relationship based on the looks, because they do not stay the same,
with time they always change. That was my dear good friend who
said that and when he responded he said he was in a relationship
with her out of love. Anything that comes from the heart is natural
and it does not need anyone to smooth talk it. He was too stubborn
to listen to her to an extent that he said she should stop convincing
her because it was not working. Never walk around fooling people,
because it will backfire and when it does you will be the one feeling
the heat calling people to rescue you. Trust me, being in a
relationship with you made me to rethink my life and I realised that
if I do not call it quit I will feel the heat. Never find yourself being a
copycat, trying to use other people’s methods of loving, because
you will be living a lie. Any man who cannot bring happiness to his
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partner cannot be in love with her and its better if he did not get
involved with her in the first place. Goodness gracious me my friend
and our boyfriend were lashing each other. He said it was good to
hear her talk some sense, because ever since he met her he used
to think that she was just a beauty with no brains. A bimbo to be
precise. Wow! Now he was taking it too far because he was a
moron. Many people mistaken talking with communication. There
is no relationship without communication. If you find yourself in a
relationship where you don’t communicate, please set the poor
soul free. In shock he said he hopes that the communication that
she was talking about had nothing to do with them, because she
knows as much as he knows that they have always been in touch all
the time. She told him that communication means that when I talk
she talks he will listen as much as when he talks she would listen.
She further told him that most men mistaken submission for
oppression. Submission comes with humility and out of a willing
heart, but oppression comes with force. Each time she would say
something he would say something to turn her down. Again she
said there was no way that any lady would be submissive when she
is not happy being in a relationship with a guy. If she is not happy,
but still stick around then it would be nothing, but an act towards a
guy. He said he was aware of the fact that ladies are good
pretenders and she deliberately told him to be careful and guard
his steps carefully because he might end up being in wrong
territory. I understand our boyfriend was feeling threatened
because he told her that she should stop threatening him. My
friend told him something that I would always tell men. She said it
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is difficult to understand the behaviour of someone and it is twice
difficult to understand that of a woman because we are good
pretenders. He said I was beautiful and he knows that I would never
pretended to him because the truth was all over my face, wow!
That was a lie from a pit of hell. The communication was getting
hot because she asked him if that’s what I told him or how I act
towards him, because there was a very a big difference between
what he was being told and the actual experience. He failed to
answer that question and it could have been better if he asked me
because I was just a few steps from him. She told him that some
people were very good at telling lies and he should be happy
because she was telling him the truth. She was not only dating him,
but his brother younger brother because he was more matured
than him the poor guy was also told that actions speak louder than
words. It is true that one can deal with situations with less words,
but actions. I remember her telling him that he was a loser,
although he thinks that he got style. At that time the truth was
emerging because she asked if a guy like him can be in a decent lady
like me, but he said it was better that they never talk about me.
That was a tough one for him and while I was thinking that she was
done she asked him why every Thursday I would always tell him
that I was in class when I was not registered with any institution.
With a very faint voice he said he knew that I was registered with
TUT completing my B-tech. Wow! If only he knew that I was done
with my B-tech he was not going to give that answer. With a lovely
smile she said he must be careful of what he was saying because
those words might bring him more pain than happiness. She said I
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completed my B-tech last year, but I did not complete loving my
man. I could see that he was sweating, poor thing. She also told him
that I was in love with an accountant and I have been in love with
him for more than four years, but on the other hand he had been
with me for only two years, yet he did not know me. He looked at
me as if I was mad and he asked if what she said was true, but I just
shook my head and right there he believed me. He was told that
the reason I was in a relationship with him was that he was loaded
and nothing else. She was telling the truth. Our stupid boyfriend
said there was more to love than money, but she said it would have
been better if he was saying that to me because I was just standing
next to him. He looked downwards and for a couple of minutes he
was startled. I remember I was smiling and she was also smiling,
before he can comment she asked if he really knew me. His
response was that she said all that because they were parting their
ways. On her last words she said the scarcity of water does not
mean that she must drink urine. Wow! That’s how evil I was. Now
have you ever been a deliberate cause of a break up? Talk about
any evil woman, I know that there are those ladies who will have
guts to tell you that your hairstyle does not look good because they
feel that they own it. They are driven by the spirit of jealous. Jealous
is: “Strongly wanting someone else's position, advantages or
possessions”, that is according to Wordweb dictionary. Wow! Have
you ever find yourself having that kind of a feeling within you? Did
you know that you can only be jealous of something that belongs
to you? Why are you jealous over your friend that she is passing
well her subjects at school whilst you are failing? Isn’t it that evils
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thoughts are also driven by the spirit of jealous? Consider the Cain
and Abel in the Bible; didn’t Cain kill his brother Abel because he
was jealous that his sacrifice was not accepted? Please you need to
understand that I am telling you all this out of love. I was an evil
woman and heartless and I know that most women are evil. Being
evil comes in many ways: did you know that you can be evil
thorough your words as much as you can be evil with your actions?
When you deliberately lie to your brother or your sister is that not
an act of being evil? You are married to this fine gentleman whom
you found with two children and you came along with two, but you
do not show the same love towards the children is that not being
evil? Think of that women who would send her children to school
having their bread buttered both sides, but give nothing to the
foster ones, is that not an evil act? What do you call an act of spiking
your friend’s drink with a drug so that she behaves wild and even
leave the nightclub with men if not an evil act? Your friend invite
you over to her house for a house warming and as soon as you see
that she has bought beautiful couches you start talking bad about
the colour and shape as if she requested your opinion the time she
went to the store. On the other hand you expect God to bless you
when you go down on your knees and pray. I know of those people
who would pray weir prayers; asking God to bless them with a job
so that they can buy a better car to that of their neighbour, how
evil. Firstly you don’t even know how they got their car, what if they
are multimillionaires and you are just like Amber? Instead of you
applauding them for the new car they are driving you want to
compete with them, aren’t you going to run your bank account dry
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because of that spirit? I know of this lady in my neighbourhood who
would buy a newspaper for her daughter to apply for a job and burn
it because she does not want the neighbour’s child to apply using
it; she is so amazed why even today her daughter still remains
unemployed. I am not amazed, God is the one who is in control. It
does not matter what you do, but all I know is that your day will
come if you do not repent. Above all there are those ladies who do
not talk to other people and when you ask why they will tell you
that their blood does not connect with them. Goodness gracious
me, how does one’s blood connect to someone’s blood? Isn’t it that
they just don’t want to use the word hate, which is driven by
evilness within their hearts? How do you feel when people don’t
want to be around you, because you are evil? What do you gain
from being evil if not misery? Did you know that you spend more
time digging into other people’s internal affairs so that you can go
out and gossip because you are evil? Isn’t that if those people
wanted the press to know about what is happen in their family they
could have approached one of the newspapers? Who are you to go
around tarnishing someone’s reputation? Are you that kind of a
lady who enjoys causing chaos and bad mouthing other people?
Proverbs 6:16-18 talks about six things that God hates. If your heart
does not have love isn’t it obvious that it’s evil? The opposite of love
is hate and if you don’t love you hate; if you hate you are evil unless
you hate evil acts. How many people have you murdered because
of your evil acts? Did you know that if you don’t love someone you
are a murderer? Could there be any reason you have been on the
same position at job and on the other hand your colleagues are
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getting promoted left right and centre? Please do not get me
wrong, I am not trying to say if you have been on the same position
for a long time it’s because you are evil. Sometimes it’s a test and
sometimes it’s because of your dark heart. I know of those people
who would consults Sangomas and evil spirits to bar their
colleagues certain positions or promotions, yet when they appear
to you, they will show you a very beautiful fake smile. Isn’t that
Jesus was betrayed by Judas? Was it not because of the evil spirit?
Did you know that evil comes from the Devil? “Then Peter said unto
her, how is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the
Lord? Behold, the feet of them which have buried they husband are
at the door, and shall carry thee out.” Act 5:9, read from the
beginning of chapter five you will have a clear understanding of
what I am talking about. Being evil comes your dear heart. Could
there be any reason why you can’t even sleep at night? Isn’t that
you are always devising ways and means of hurting other people?
Even worse, you do sleep at night but you don’t rest at all, because
your heart is evil, you don’t even have the peace of mind because
of your evils acts. You are staying in a very big mansion, but you are
as evil as the Devil himself so much that even if you are sleeping on
a fifty thousand bed you always look like someone who was in a
boxing ring each time you wake up. Poor neighbour who sleeps on
a rolling mat always wakes up shining and being radiant as the sun,
and you are so amazed when you lay your eyes on her because you
are loaded and on the other hand she is as broke as church mouse.
Be careful, it might be that your heart is devising some sorts of evil
acts all the time whilst your neighbour is thinking about God all the
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time. How do you feel when your neighbour is sleeping hungry and
you are filling the garbage bin with good food all in the name of loss
of appetite? And when they people try to talk to you, “you have this
way of responding to them: I am allergic to poor people or we
cannot eat and drink from the same cup”. They say time exposes
everything, and what I can tell you with certainty is that it will also
reveal your evilness even to the world as well. Consider people who
got high by means of oppressing other people, not long is either
they are fired, killed whilst on duty, jailed or they turned out to be
church mouse. Are you that kind of person who would boo when
someone is trying to do something but failing dismally? How do you
feel when you do that? Someone comes to you asking for help with
a certain subject at school because you understand it better, but
you turn the poor soul down and when she fails you even thrown a
party as a way of celebration. Wow! That’s very evil and to be
precise you are evil. After a period of five years she gets married to
a learnt fellow and you remain a spinster for the rest of your life,
yet you are so amazed why things are not working out. Let me tell
you why they are not working out: YOUR HEART IS EVIL. Be like
David who prayed that his heart must be changed in Psalm 51. At
first it’s just a thought of an evil act, later you act upon the thought,
later you master the act, there after it becomes your second nature
that you become one of the greatest wizards or witches. I know of
people who are so evil that even the animals around them know
them. Are you that kind of a beautiful lady, but when you enter your
neighbour’s house the dogs will bark at you as if they are seeing a
dragon even when you are with the owner of the dog? Please do
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not get me wrong here I am not trying to say dogs will bark at you
when you are evil. I know how to differentiate a normal barking
from an abnormal one. You see, it does not require one to have a
college degree in order to become an evil woman. It only requires
your heart and perpetual practice of evil acts, starting with minor
ones until you become a professor. Wow! Imagine having this
prefix: Professor Evil woman. Damn! That does not sound right,
even when I am typing my spine is sending this cold current
downwards. It is my prayer that you ponder upon your life, how do
you relate to people? Do you love them or hate them? Do you
pretend to be smiling whilst your heart is contrary to the act? Do
you speak the word of truth, which is not contrary to the thoughts
and intentions of heart? Would you clap your hands when your
colleague gets a promotion or you will clap when he gets fired? Be
careful. After two days also broke up with him because he was
starting to ask many boring questions and I felt that the best way
was to break up with him. This other time when I was lying on my
bed I decided to write a letter and it reads thus: Now that you are
reading my letter, please pay attention. There is still hope and many
rooms to change if you want to live a good life and mostly if you
want to enjoy being in love. It is true that I have been a wild girl
doing many bad things with the so-called friends all in the name of
pleasure and love. I have come to realise there is no such thing
called an open relationship, it's either you are in love or you are not.
I have dated eleven men for the sole purpose of fulfilling my
personal needs. When you find yourself a suitable partner never
allow any thought of vile affections towards other men to grow
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within you, because that is the quickest way to destroy the love that
you have with your partner. If I were dating your man, please
forgive me, I was led by my emotions and lust. Do not leave your
man when you find out that he has been cheating on you with me,
it was not his fault. My looks and the flattering of my lips are so
sweet that no man can resist. Reference is found in the book of
Proverbs 2: 16. I have challenged many characters and I have won
many hearts all by the power of my tongue. I have been evil,
because I am a good pretender. To my dearest mother: you brought
me to this world, but the truth about nature is that you cannot live
my life. You have given me the best advice about life on how to be
a good God-fearing girl. My ways were contrary to your will as a
parent and mostly to the will of the heavenly father who knows me
to the core. I am sorry that I have not listened to you. You have
taught me what love is and that I should wait for my suitable
partner and only dance to his song of love and even back him up
where necessary, but I did not wait. I am no longer a girl and I feel
that you deserve to know the truth. When the light shines before
you do not hasten to make a move, because the vision at night is
not vivid; there are many nocturnal creatures and some of them
are vicious lying wait to drink your blood. Woe to him who is a
victim. Never waste your life on the things of this world or follow
the pleasure of sin, because at the end it will always claim your life.
If you are a lady wish to become a gracious woman who listens to
the chastening of her parents and never look down on them based
on education or profession. The real education, which is above any
education in becoming a gracious woman is doing the will of God
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and never forget his word. Let it guide you as you live your life.
Several times I have been asking myself this question: “Who is my
friend”. Today I am telling you that anyone who calls himself or
herself your friend and approves you of doing bad things is not your
true friend. Leticia you are not a true friend, because even when
my steps were far away from the presence of the Lord you never
rebuked me, but you clapped your hands telling me to go on. Dear
Themba: you have been a good guy and you are still a good guy and
I am happy to tell you that you are the only man that I have loved
with all my heart, unfortunately I was not open with you. Part of
my love was revolving around the money you have. As an
accountant and a fine young brother in our church I fell for you on
the spot. You are not my suitable partner that is why I have
accepted when you told me that you cannot be with me anymore.
Now that I am no longer in your life, please see to it that you never
fall for someone out of the looks just as you will agree with me
when I say inside me lies a dangerous serpent, but outside I am as
good as any angel that you have ever heard of. Dear Tebogo: You
are a handsome guy who has direction in life, but I will assure you
that your direction is not intertwined with my character. I am a fast
learner and I have mastered all the principles of love. I can tell when
a guy is a player, because I am a player by profession. I am not
proud of my profession, because wherever I go it breaks many
hearts. I hope you will accept my apology. There was no way that I
can be in a relationship with you because your aim was to lay me
down. Trust me I saved your life by not being involved with you.
Dear Eric: Any lady who will disagree that you are a reserved
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brother is either blind or filled with the spirit of jealousy. I have
enjoyed every moment that I have shared with you and you have
taught me what real love is. I did not know what love is until I met
you. You know how to take care of a lady inside out and you know
how to brighten the mood of the day with your sweet words. When
I saw that you were serious about marrying me while I was not
ready for marriage, I did you a big favour because you were going
to spend the rest of your life in pain. Dear Michael: You are rough
with ladies and if you continue on that foot you will never enjoy life
and the goodies that nature portrays before you. I have scars on my
back and on my stomach, I look like a thug because of you. Although
I was not always right, you did not have the right to kick me,
because that is not the way to treat a lady. I have aborted your child
because I could not imagine myself living with you. Dear George:
You are the funniest person I have ever met since it was me, even
when I am alone, I sometimes think about the times that we have
spent together. Sweet memories about your loving character
always remind me there is true love. When your mother said she
does not like me, I realised the two of us did not have the future
together. How do I live in peace with someone who hates me to the
core? Dear Samuel: You are a good guy who does not mind
spending for a lady, but what I can tell you is that never impress a
lady with what you have, because in that way you are buying love
and you know it's impossible or a foolish thing to do. Love is a gift
from God and we need to share it without any price attached to it.
As much as I love money, I did not want to be in a position where I
look like I am taking advantage of you. Daniel: You are a married
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man and your family needs you more than I do. I understand that
your daughter loves me to bits, but there is no way that I can take
the place of your wife. The reason she is always whining does not
mean that you must leave her for me. You should have not rushed
into marrying her, but wait for your suitable partner. I have learnt
that patience can cook a stone and I so much wish that you should
have done the same. Dear Emmanuel: you are an active brother in
church, but a lion in a sheepskin, because you do not practice the
gospel you preach. Many people venerate you and you are a pillar
of many souls in church. See to it that you do not lose any of those
souls because you know the results. Read Ezekiel 3:18 – 21. You are
a dangerous person because people think you are sweet. My
dearest Steven life without you by my side have not been easy.
When you left for the USA I was shattered so much so even today
my heart bleeds when I think about you. I now understand there
are certain things that one cannot change in life and one of them is
the distance between the two of us. I have never believed in a
distance relationship that is why I could not be in love with you. The
list goes on and on, but to save the ink and time these are the guys
I was attached to. I have learnt that attachment is the only reason
most of us cannot move on with our lives. We hop from one
relationship to another and use the same methods that we have
carried from the previous relationships hoping to enjoy life. There
is no way that you can enjoy being in love that way, because you
are still attached to your ex. Ladies enjoy being praised if you want
to enjoy being in love with them, but see to it that you do not do it
for the wrong motives. If you impress a lady you are doing it to get
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something in return. Be careful, because it is not true love; we
express love not impress. You will keep on failing and hop from one
relationship to another; at the end you will think there is some
curse on your life. To my dearest father, I have repented and I am
a good girl again; the one that you have always wished to see. I have
done many things and I am not proud of the wrongs that I have
done. I humbly ask you to forgive me. Please pray with me and with
every soul that has been sinning with me. I Love you with all my
heart. Your dearest daughter Amber. Now after a year I got a job
with one of the big companies as one of their marketing consultant.
There was this guy who was always on my case and to be precise
he was my manager. I remember there was a time he came to my
office with flowers telling me of how much he had been missing me.
He further said they were fresh from the florist. His name was Frank
and I have been telling him that I was taken and that I don’t love
him. He knew that Derik was my fiancé and he was also aware of
the fact that he alone pleases me. I wonder what really made him
to think that I would ever cheat on my man. He said to me he knew
that I was taken, but it is just that I was too good to resist. He was
not asking me to cheat on my man, but to cheat on his fiancée. I
asked him why lied to his fiancée telling her that he loves her when
in actual fact he did not love her, but wanted a comfort lady just to
keep himself occupied. What was the use of telling her that he
wants to be with her for the rest of his life when in actual fact he
was dying to be with someone? After being a wild girl each time a
man would approach me I would shut the door and not forget to
lock the butler as well. He asked if I was going to take the flowers
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from him, but I said I was not going to accept them. His concern
was that people would look at him somehow, walking out with a
bouquet, which he bought for me, but I was too stubborn to accept
that nonsense, it was not like I asked him to go and buy me the
flowers. Just because you know that ladies love flowers it does not
mean that you must use that weakness to win their hearts, some
have been around so much that they do not fall for that crap.
According to me, accepting the flowers was like another way of
cheating on my man because the motive behind the bouquet was
nothing but lust. Why should I promote another man to lust on me,
isn’t that being seductive in a way? Do not compromise your
relationship because of someone who just want to break you into
pieces. The poor man told me that his relationship was not working
out because he did not have feelings for his fiancée anymore so
much that whenever she was around him he would feel like hanging
himself. Wow! That was very cruel of him to say such; how on earth
does one feel that way? He was therefore asking me to understand
his situation, but I remember telling him that I refuse to understand
his story because to me he was nothing, but a home wrecker. You
might not know the type of a woman you are in a relationship with,
but you need to understand that it was your choice that you ended
up winding with the lady you are with. As for you my sister, which
type of a woman are you? Please do not get me wrong here, I am
not trying to talk bad about ladies, but the book of Proverbs
narrated them out so well. I humbly requested him to leave my
office because I was not in the mood to listen to his crap. His
presence was deliberately annoying me. He even insulted my man
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saying he is nothing, but a donkey cart and on the other hand he
was a recherché car. Trust me when I say he was out of his mind to
say something like that. Never try to win a lady by bad mouthing
someone. When you are trying your luck on a lady you must only
talk about yourself and nobody else. They say a lazy worker blames
the tool. Do not find yourself in that position where you blame the
circumstances and elements around you. The problem is with you.
Seeing that I did not fall for his flowers he said I deserved to eat a
very good lunch, well that was true and I was eating a good lunch
on daily basis, it’s not like my lunch was going to be good because
of the food from one of the top restaurants around the area. For
your information that day I brought pap and tripe. I always prefer
cooking whenever I get home so that I do not waste money, but
save the little that I have for Derik and I. I see this guy was treating
me like a foolish woman or a promiscuous woman, but I was too
rigid to bend this time around. Gone are those days were men
would come and entice me with their possession and on the other
hand I would fall for it. There is time for everything and my time to
repent and forget about my past was at hand. When will your time
come, will you ever have the second chance if you feel that you still
need to go wild and remain in the mire waiting for your second
chance? Seeing that he was persistent I told him that I have been
rejecting him from the very first day that he started coming to my
office and I was doing that by also reinforcing my words by the fact
that I had a fiancé. I remember him telling that he was not going to
lose hope and that he knows ladies are too stubborn and
combative, but with good words they always loosen up. I laughed
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when he said he would squeeze me until I drip like a honeycomb.
Poor thing, if only he knew that he had never said anything worth
listening to ever since I knew him. Now this guy was also having an
affair with one of my colleagues named Lesego and he did not know
that I knew about it until that day. I told him that he must not liken
me to Lesego who would do anything just to have money; the little
that I was earning was enough for me and I would rather remain
poor than to sleep around just to have some cash. He told me that
he has money, well he did not lie about that. I remember telling him
that money will not buy him love and as for Lesego she knows that
he is nothing but a Jersey cow and that is why she was milking him
making butter than any dairy company you could ever think of in
South Africa. you know the devil’s temptations when you are
working with men like Frank, but if you are sanctified by the blood
of the Lamb you must remain unshakable whatsoever. He told me
that he was giving her a thousand rands just for being in a
relationship with him because there were no strings attached. He
was willing to triple what he was giving Lesego if only I can allow
him to be my man. Wow! That was a delusion. I remember telling
him that I did not have a price tag and nothing in this world can buy
me. the flowers and the lunch did not work out so he said I looked
pressurised in my office a cup of cappuccino in that weather would
do to revive my day, but that too did not work out because I would
rather drink tap water than being in his presence as if it was the
presence of the Almighty. He said it was difficult to understand why
a beautiful lady like me with all the assets, respect and intelligence
would wind up with a simple guy who was on the lowest pay grade
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forgetting people like him. My answer to him was very simple and
straight forward. I told him that the assets belongs to my future
husband to be and I respect him so much and as for the intelligence
all glory to God. I was told not to be too hard on myself, because
my heart was bleeding internally and I had to react fast because
internal bleeding was very dangerous. I deliberately told him not to
refer to me as his babe because there was only one man who had
that licence to call me babe and it was not him. You see there is this
feeling that I have about my Derik and it’s hard to explain, but I call
it love. Words spoken by a simple man only impress the heart of a
foolish woman, but when a real man speaks the sound of his words
lingers forever and it is cherished for many generations. He even
had the courage to tell me that I was nothing but a bitch. If you
come across a man who would swear at you because you are
turning him down then you have been graced by the presence of a
fool, because real men would never do such. In a nutshell Frank was
a foolish man who was inviting me to be a foolish woman. I told him
not to come back to my office if it was not work related, I was even
starting to have a headache and heartburn because of his cheap
cologne which I was certain he bought on the street. He left my
office like a dog with its tail shelved between its legs. It was lunch
time and straight away I called Derik to come over, because I was
not on the mood to walk down to his office that day. Do you have
a lunch buddy at work or you eat alone? Well I eat with my man
and it is the nicest thing ever. He loves pap and mogodu that is why
I cooked it especially for him; I call it spoiling him with my kitchen
skills topping it with his favourite dish. Which type are you involved
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with? Does she know how to cook or does she cook for you? Are
you with that type, which is more of a liability to you than an asset?
As we were heading home after work, Derik was telling that the he
was thinking of taking me out that weekend for us to spend quality
time together at the movies and perhaps a shopping spree. I told
him that we are not going to any shopping spree because we had
enough clothes to and it was not as if one of us was naked. I told
him to rather save the money and stop acting like he owns a bank.
The poor man said he feels like he was not spoiling me enough, but
I told him that the kind of love he was giving me was enough so he
did not have to waste money. I have been transformed from the
way I used to think and mostly I thank God for getting rid of the gold
digging character that I used to have within me. My man was not
stingy, but if you considered our relationship you were going to
thing that he was stingy in some way. In actual fact I was the one
making him to be like that. I dearly understand that he was
supposed to give me some money, but less was more because the
thought was more important than the amount of money given. All
I was doing was to teach him to be responsible with money; I
strongly believed that he only needed the basics in life and not
claim to have money when before a month is finished his account
would be empty. What is the use of eating out when by the 15th you
are as broke as a church mouse when you can buy grocery and cook
and at the same time have money from the beginning of the month
to the end? I understand it is difficult to save money, but on the
other hand it is also bad being broke. We also spoke about how we
would like to live in the future. I understand that one of his major
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problem was that he was not earning more than me and he felt like
I was in a hurry to marry him. There is one thing that I have learnt
in life, never find yourself in a position where you want to rush the
plan and purpose of God, because you do not know his time. God’s
time is way different from our time, because as human beings we
consider a lot of things. We consider real time and we also consider
biological time forgetting that it is always better to put everything
in God’s hands. All I am trying to say to you my dear sister is that
never chase marriage where you put pressure on the poor man
telling him that it’s about time he marries you; wait for the right
moment and when it does arrive you will enjoy. To be precise I was
willing to wait for another five years if that’s what it would take. I
remember Derik told me that I was different from many ladies
because I was understanding and at the same time submissive. You
see, life it’s all about choice, you choose the things you want from
the things you don’t want. I chose to be a good lady who listens to
his man without even exercise my education to him. I can tell you
that my man was making half of my salary a month, but I respected
him either way. I know of certain ladies who would never respect a
man who earns less than they make. Some will even tell you that
they cannot even date a man who earns less. I have a friend who is
in a relationship with a cleaner and she is a bit high on the corporate
world and when we go out she is so shy to talk about the poor man,
because he is earning less money. Why do you consider the state
of his bank account before you agree that you love him? Are you in
love with him or you are in love with his pocket? If you are in love
with him why is his back account an issue? Will you not agree with
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me when I tell you that any lady who does that is a gold digger in
some sort? You are materialistic and that is why you say you cannot
be with someone who is on a low standard. Some ladies would tell
you that a man must be educated in order for him to take care of
the family, well that is half-truth. The real education that you need
to talk about is found in the Bible not the certificates and stuff.
What is the use of being in a relationship with a professor who does
not have time for you and mostly who does not give you the kind
of love that you need? He mistreats you and when you are around
people he always acts as if some sort of a handicap as befallen you.
He talks to you in a very award way. Is that the kind of a man you
want to spend the rest of your life with? Will you not agree with me
when I tell you that such kind of a man is not educated, but
certificated? Be careful how you go out looking for a man and
mostly be careful the kind of a woman that you are. Will you not
agree with me when I tell you that it is through the type that you
portrays that attracts or repels men from you? Imagine if you are a
foolish woman and because you are too loud and at the same time
your talk signifies nothing, do you really think men would fall for
you? God forbid. I also understand that you can be a foolish woman
even if you are educated? It does not matter what degree you hold,
because you can still carry that degree yet being a foolish woman.
Be careful my sister who you associate with and at the same time
be careful how you use your words, because they have a tendency
of reflecting in the future. You need the Holy Ghost not those stupid
advice from your foolish friends who would deliberately clap their
hands when you are doing bad things. What kind of a friend is that
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if not a foolish woman or a foolish friend? After endless lessons that
I got from my mother I realised that the ball was in my court and it
was up to me to choose to live a life of impressing my friends; a life
where I please myself or a life where God takes pre-eminence in
everything that I do. This time around I have chosen to live a good
life, by doing what is right before God. You might be asking yourself
what might have happened with my friends and the answer is that
I have shed them off. Most of them were shocked to hear me
turning them down several times when they asked me to go out
with them. Please do not get me wrong, I am not saying going out
with your friends is a bad thing. All I am telling you is that going out
for the sake of fulfilling the sinful desires is wrong. Anything bad
and good habit that you can ever think of was gets natured from a
tender stage and with time it becomes ones second nature so much
that you just feel that you cannot live your life without it. It’s just
like a habit of walking around spitting wherever you find yourself;
it is a very disgusting habit and you will agree with me when I say it
is not like you were born spitting, but of course a habit you have
natured. Have you ever asked yourself a question as to why some
of your friends with time distance themselves from you. Isn’t that
they feel that there is something about you, which does not go
hand in hand with them? Well, that might be one of the reasons yet
the truth of the matter is that there is something about you
because they are the one drifting away whereas you want to stick
to them. Some of them will just make up something for the sake of
avoiding your presence. In simple terms you are a total turn off.
How is it that a good girl like you according to your perception has
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turned out to be a boring girl? The answer lies in the type of a
woman that you are amongst all the types in the world dare to be
a gracious woman and forget about the pleasure of sin. Remember
that you did not come to this world with anybody, but you dearly
came alone. I am not hesitant to tell you that Malina is a strange
woman and a foolish woman and it really pains me because when I
tried to tell him to sway from that she would tell me that her time
will come. That is true, her time will come and on the other hand
her time might not come because we never know the time that we
are going to retire from this world. What do you do when you find
yourself in position where one of your friend is a foolish woman,
would you have the guts to tell her that she is a foolish woman or
you will just ignore her? I understand that it might be tough to tell
her that she is a foolish woman, but I do not think I can be tougher
than tell her that she is a promiscuous woman, because that one
it’s a bit deep right? We understand that when you love someone
you must rebuke them when they are going astray and it might be
tough, but it is much better to tell her that she is a promiscuous
woman. Find a way of putting it in a polite manner in such a way
that it will not cause a fight between the two of you. I am telling
you all this because one of my good friends who used to call me a
promiscuous woman ended up being a promiscuous and to be
precise she is on one of their famous building where they work
from. Consider all the amount of money that you have wasted on
girls like Amber all in the name of wanting to lie down with her.
Why would you even bring that upon yourself? Isn’t that being a
slave of your own body and feelings when God has created you to
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be a master of your own body and feelings? I know that there are
certain man who would never assist their friends with anything,
each time the poor friend ask for help they always say they do not
have the means to assist with, but come evening they are in one of
the classic nightclub busy buying booze for some cheap ladies who
will milk them until they go home without a dime. Why do you do
that my brother? Why do you go out and waste your money all in
the name of enjoyment when there is nothing enjoyable about
wasting your money on someone cheap. Ladies who go out to do
that are cheap and I am not even apologetic about it. How do you
feel when you wake up every day and take long hours titivating
yourself and put on an outfit which is nothing, but a bait to catch a
big fish? On the other hand you are even proud about it, you
deliberately go out for the sake of making money from someone by
using your beauty. Did you know that there are better things that
you can do than selling your body? You can be on the cover of the
magazine or be a model, if you feel that it’s too much you can go
and look for a job or start something of your own. What are your
strength? Clearly one of them is not being in the pub every night
seducing men. As I was talking to my man I was also telling him that
I will come to his apartment during the weekend and do his laundry
and cook since I have realised that he enjoys my cooking. I am not
a pro, but I always cook in such a way that you will eat and lick your
fingers even if you were not starving. He dropped me at the gate
and I walked straight to my bedroom to rest a bit before preparing
supper. My mom is so worried about her looks even at her age. She
is sixty three and she would never take any heavy meal no matter
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what. She asked me to make her a cup of coffee complementing it
with one muffin. They say one must not praise himself or herself,
but only for today allow me to tell you that I do not disrespect my
parents whatsoever. Are you an ill-mannered girl who does not
want to listen to your parents? Listen to my advice darling, it does
not matter whether your parents are educated or if they have
never set their foot at school, respecting them is an order from
above. Yesterday when I was cooking supper she told me that she
would like to talk to me about something, I know it’s a lesson about
life. I know my mom like the back of my hand, whenever she says
she wants to talk to me it’s either I have done something wrong or
she just want to teach me something. Do you have time with your
parents or a guarding just to learn certain skills and tactics needed
in life? My mom is so full of humour that if you spend a lot of time
around her you might end up getting admitted because of chest
pains. That is why I find it suitable to always have a tissue with me
whenever I am with her. As of that night I guess I was wrong about
the lesson that I got from her because it was not funny at all. We
started off by talking about our looks and how she still enjoys being
called beauty queen by my father who has been calling her that
since she was twenty one. The words that are coming out of my
mouth are not new, but old as a mountain. I want to teach you a
lesson on how to become a gracious woman. My daughter people
are not going to call you gracious because of your looks, but
because of the beauty which comes from your heart. There are six
things that you need to know to become a gracious woman and
they are: your word, conduct, love, spirit, faith and purity. If you
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have all these you are ready to be a gracious woman. When you
have the inner beauty people will respect you and honour you.
When you treat people equally without looking down on them,
know that you have started on the right foot. At that moment I was
having many questions and one of them was; what about those
who look down on me and those who do not respect me; must I
respect them? Her response was when you do what is good to
someone don’t expect any return, but do it with love even if the
task you are doing is tough. The bible teaches us that you must not
consider the things that you see, but the hope laid before you. Love
covers a multitude of sin, so love all people regardless of what they
do. In simple terms a gracious woman must love unconditionally. A
gracious woman is satisfied with what God has blessed her with. If
God gives you someone who is not working, glorify God and never
listen to the advice of your friends. A gracious woman will respect
his man, whether he is illiterate or when you earn more money than
him. You will never disclose your relationship to your friends
because they will ruin it. A gracious woman understands that a man
is the head of the family and his word is important. You might be
asking yourself a question as to does that mean that my word is
also important to him? Yes, it is important. He might not show that
he values your word because most men have pride, but deep inside
he respects every single syllable contained in your words. There is
a difference between respect and fear. Never dictate to a man, but
give advice politely. Men don’t like it when you dictate to them, you
make them feel inferior. A gracious woman is never blinded by
material things, because it will take pre-eminence in her life and
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ruin the relationship you have with your man and at the end you
will drive him away. Never look at another man and allow him to
take the place of your man, because of his position or his looks. It
was not a mistake that God has made the two of you to be together.
Your man comes first and you must only prefer to be with him,
because he is your best friend. Fear God and respect your man,
then God will bless you in all angles of love. Never shout at your
man, whether you are not in good speaking terms, the moment you
start shouting at him you have downgraded from being a gracious
woman into a contentious woman. A gracious woman has faith
strong as steel in God. When you go through any hardship always
go down on your knees and pray to God and he will make a way.
Never hold any grudge towards anyone and in return you will live
in peace with all people, and you will go to your grave in one-piece.
Know that people are observant, if you are used to doing something
as mundane as giving them a smile, then later a sudden change they
would start to distance themselves from you, so alter your wrongs
and do what is good all the time. A gracious woman is that woman
who will never backbite nor say anything bad about her neighbour,
but always keep her tongue clean from such. The book of Psalm
15:3 says, “[He that] backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil
to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour”.
See to it that you don’t forget it. A gracious woman doesn’t do
50/50. There is no 50/50 in Christianity; I know of most ladies who
would tell you that times have changed, it is true that times have
changed, but the word of God has not changed and it will never
change, not even a syllable for that matter. Don’t wait for your
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mother to tell you to cook supper or clean the house when you
know that as a lady you must do it, you need to learn from your
mother. Charity begins at home; when I am imparting household
skills it is, because I understand that one day you will become a wife
espoused to a good man who will love from the sole of your feet to
the crown of your beautiful head. A gracious woman speaks the
word of truth from her heart without altering words, even when
the situation is against her, I have a good friend who left her job
because they wanted her to lie, but to her whether it was a
promotion she said she would rather remain without a job than tell
lies. Only a handful of people in this world would do such because
we are so used to accepting bribes everywhere we go. Don’t wait
for me to tell you that your hairstyle looks old and it’s dirty. You
must always look clean in that way your man will enjoy being
around you. A gracious woman never talks back to elderly people,
but shows respect all the time. My daughter, only speak when it is
necessary for you to do so in that way you will have wisdom,
because it is not with the multitude of words that one becomes
wise. The truth is that we teach you how to live right, but when you
grow up you choose your own ways, of which some are not
pleasing. You will dearly agree with me when I tell you that I have
never taught you to wear miniskirts or walk around being naked
whatsoever, but it was your choice, which was reinforced by the
taste of your friends. A gracious woman is not a slave of her body,
but she knows how to control it all the time; won’t you agree with
me when I say you have been a slave of your own body? You were
like a driving school car, where every man must learn how to drive.
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Don’t allow men to know your nakedness because that will bring
your reputation to a piece of bread and you will look like a whore.
If you want to be a gracious woman do not find delight in doing
what is wrong, even if your peers call you names its fine; you don’t
live for them but for the Lord. I understand that peer pressure is
one of the most problems facing the youth of today, because your
friend is having a gold on her tooth, you also want to have it,
pathetic. A gracious woman is prayerful always and never
complains about any storms of life that comes her way. Haven’t I
taught you how to pray from your childhood? Aren’t you lucky that
I was one of your Sunday school teachers? The elementary prayer
Our Father which art in heaven was one of the prayers I taught you
and some of your friends and I knew that some including you did
not see its importance, it was like a recitation. Do you have any
questions that you need to ask me? The question that I had was
how does one deal with men who keeps on trying their luck even
when you tell them that you are taken. I know how to, but I needed
to hear her version, maybe she has an older version which might
work at our generation. She said I must tell them that I am taken,
and if they insist I must ignore them. When they call I mustn’t
entertain them or else I will lose what’s important to me because
of silly men. I remember I told her that there are those who will tell
you that they just want to be friends. And she told me that, my best
friend is my man and not another man. She further asked if I would
enjoy seeing my man going out for lunch with a beautiful lady. I
laughed and never said a word, because it was obvious that I would
not allow such to happen. If your man doesn’t care about anything
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happening in your life, then he does not understand the true
meaning of love. A simple rule of thumb is, “Protect your number
one asset.” She said that was just the beginning of our lesson, we
will continue some other time if God is willing. I was told to read
the book of Ruth in the bible for she understood that I will never go
wrong. Ruth had the qualities of a gracious woman. If you have all
these qualities, you will become a gracious woman even when you
don’t have a man in your life. Proverbs 18:22 says, “Whoso findeth
a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” It
did not say a woman, there are many women in church and outside
of church, but not all are going to be wives. You don’t need a man
in order for you to be a gracious woman, dare to become a gracious
woman before even thinking of becoming a wife unto someone.
One of the reasons you see many relationships and marriages not
working out is because people want to learn the things they were
supposed to have learnt before being involved or before marriage.
You need the Holy Spirit to live right and mostly you need to involve
God in everything you do. If you want to learn how to love a human
being start with a dog. A dog is faithful and it loves its owner
unconditionally regardless of whether you do not treat it right, it
does not keep grudges like a human being. If you fail to love
something that loves you unconditionally, then you cannot love a
human being, because they are good at pretending and they always
hold grudges. A gracious woman loves unconditionally. When
someone asks for something if you can’t give say no and say yes if
you are in a position to give and stop analysing things. The bible
tells us that let your yes be yes and your no be no, because any
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other thing comes from the devil. If I come and ask for a twenty
rands you will give it without asking what I want to do with it, but
the moment I start asking for two thousand you will start asking
many questions. Why do you do that? Do not put value on the
money, but on the request. Are you giving because you value the
person or the money? And even when you give that two thousand
let it be out of love, because if it is not, then your gift is not accepted
before God no matter how big it is. They say if you want to know
whether you have a true friend, wait for the storm. The one who
will not get shaken even in the midst of dangerous storms is a true
friend. Not all people who are present in your life are with you,
some of them are there to witness what is happening with your life
and they do not merry with you when you succeed. Be careful my
daughter of such people, they are like ticks on a dog, which remains
on it for as long as it is alive, but as soon as there is no life in the
poor dog, they depart from it for good, because the blood has
congealed. A gracious woman does not encompass her presence
with such kind of people in her life, because she believes in the
power of prayer all the time and it is through the Holy Spirit that
she picks good friends. One can understand the heart of a human
being, but God and that is why he alone could give a testimony
about Job and Abraham. He said they are upright. Imagine if God
himself was to give a testimony about you saying that you are
perfect and good, won’t it be awesome? Job1:1 says, “There was a
man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was
perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.”
If you desire to be a gracious woman desire Job’s character and you
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will not go wrong my dear. You used to be the worst amongst my
children, but now I can tell that you are shaping out so well and I
am proud of you as a parent. You might be wondering why all this
time I have never said anything to you about a gracious woman, but
they always say you must save the best for last. I understand that it
was not yet time for you to know about a gracious woman when
you were still walking on your crooked ways doing all sorts of wild
thing, because as your parents we were not able to see you. It is
true that as your parents we were not able to see you but our father
which art in heaven was seeing everything and it was through his
Spirit that you were able to sway from your wicked ways and see
the light. Isn’t that when you are living in the light even your health
will remain intact and you will always glow regardless of the season
and mostly your health will not fail you? When you live in the dark
you will work hard just to have a smile on your face and even when
that smile manifests it won’t stay long because you don’t have inner
peace. A gracious woman is always having inner peace regardless
of what she is going through in life. Tell me of any worst problem
that you could ever think of in this life, which God cannot turn into
a solution with supplications. If you believe him to be God in good
times why do you fail to believe him to be God even in bad times?
Isn’t that he remains our Father regardless of situations? A gracious
woman is not two faced, but she bares the same image throughout
regardless of what she is faced with. If what people say about you
when you are with them is contrary to what they say about you
when you are not around them, then you are too far away from
being a gracious woman, because that’s a good example of being
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two faced unless they are twisted. A gracious woman would do
good to her husband for as long as she is alive; do not be like those
ladies whom you would hear devising evil things towards their
husband, that’s stupid. The heart of a gracious woman is attached
to many souls and always help the needy regardless of the colour
of their skin. Now I am talking to you reading this book are you
willing to walk on the footsteps of a gracious woman? It is very
possible for you to start over if you have been like my daughter who
tasted every type of women all in the name of pleasure. Some of
you are not even twenty five years old, but you look thirty five
because of the things you do and you think its life. Flee from such
and God will bless you in all sphere of life. Proverbs 31:25 says,
“Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time
to come.” Do you have honour amongst the people you live with or
you are just existing? Do people respect you? You need to
understand that respect does not come with age, but it comes with
your conduct. Before I go to sleep, Proverbs 31:30 says, “favour is
deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord,
she shall be praised.” You are not going to be praised because of
your looks and people are not going to fear you because of your
looks. The bottom line is that you must fear the Lord then you will
be praised and you will become a gracious woman from the roots
to the branch, bearing good fruits in the right season not out of
people’s will, but through God who enables you. Even if people try
to be against you, they are not going to succeed because you will
get direct protection from above. My last words to you are: being a
gracious woman is not a feeling or a situation, but a character which
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must be nurtured day by day until you retire to your grave. Good
night.

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