NOW INTO WOW

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE AND FIND THE COURAGE TO

CREATE A BUSINESS DOING WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO

A COMPLETE COURSE TO CREATE A MEANINGFUL LIFE

WRITTEN BY

JANET KOUKOL
Copyright 2008, Janet M. Koukol
www.janetkoukol.com
[email protected]
CONTENTS
THE EIGHT LAWS OF A MEANINGFUL LIFE 5

Discovering Who You Are

1. Taking Charge Of Your Life 9
2. Say Goodbye To Hollywood: Belief, Fear and Flow 17
3. Principles: Working Miracles And Changing Direction 21

Setting Your Course

4. Choosing Your Direction: Broad New Horizons 31
5. Passions on Parade: Find Out What Moves You 39
6. To Everything There Is A Season: When Things Come And Go 51

Prepare for the Marketplace

7. Full Speed Ahead: In The Best Possible Light 57
8. The Marketplace: All The World’s Your Stage 63
9. It’s Your Business: Do Yourself Proud 69
10.. Beauty In The Eye Of The Beholder:
Beholder Making Yourself Look Great 71
11. Time For The Global Village: The World Wide Web 79
12. Blow Your Own Horn! Communicating Your Work To Others 83
13. What’s the Story? Why You Do What You Do 87
NOW INTO WOW

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THE EIGHT LAWS FOR CREATING A MEANINGFUL LIFE

ONE: You are responsible for your life.

TWO: You choose empowering beliefs.
THREE: You decide your direction.
FOUR: You live by principles.
FIVE: You listen to your own voice.
SIX: You do things that excite you on a daily basis.
SEVEN: You visualize your future.
EIGHT: You present yourself and your work in a meaningful, well-communicated package.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE.

Your future is not determined by the economy, your income level, your parents or your best friend. There is one
person at cause, making all your decisions, who determines all the effects of your life, and that’s you. Take owner-
ship of your actions and the consequences. When you say things like “It’s not my fault” and blame another person
or the situation, you surrender the power you have to change ‘What Is’ into ‘What Can Be’’.

YOU CHOOSE EMPOWERING BELIEFS.

See your situation; recognize the beliefs that are creating it, and replace them with ones that serve who you are
now. You can drop the beliefs completely, but sometimes it’s easier initially, to replace them with something sup-
portive. Retrain your mind. Stop creating the drama that results from living out of unconscious, out-dated beliefs.
It’s where you place your attention that makes the difference. It’s your choice. Stop paying attention to beliefs that
hold you back and start focusing on beliefs that help you on your chosen path.

YOU DECIDE YOUR DIRECTION.

When you are on the path to knowing who you are and consciously directing your energy in the direction that you
want to go, you are courting inspiration. Identifying who you are and where you are coming from clears a lot of
psychic clutter; old beliefs, dead weight; all the stuff you are not. It’s hard to get �illed with inspiration when you’re
full of old baggage. The initial effort must be to head in the direction of joy daily, no matter how small that step
is. Getting rid of all the emotional baggage and clutter connects you back to open space. The place of potential is
where inspiration starts.

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NOW INTO WOW

YOU LIVE BY PRINCIPLES.

The old mechanistic world view is fading, and the world is now seen as a living, dynamic organism that is respon-
sive to our thoughts and actions. When you recognize the principles working in your life and see clearly what
results you are manifesting, you realize you have the power to choose any outcome you desire. You can work with
the Law of the Harvest (as you sow, so shall you reap) to sow seeds of your choice, that result in the harvest you
want. You become an active co-creator of your life, master of your destiny.

YOU LISTEN TO YOUR OWN VOICE.

Listening to this new voice will allow you to blaze your own trail and build personal strength. You will discover
how meaning and happiness arise from the inside. You will no longer be ‘out there’ knocking on door after door to
�ind your place in the world. You will discover the place where the needs of the world coincide with your gifts. That
place is within you. Your desire to be of service, to use your gifts where they are most needed comes from within
you.

YOU DO THINGS THAT EXCITE YOU ON A DAILY BASIS.

Start by including at least two of the things on your list, every day. Eliminate at least one thing a day that causes
you stress. You can do that by focusing on intentionally including more of the things that bring you joy. Bringing
positive energy into your life through doing things that inspire you allows a lot of the negative stuff to resolve itself
quickly and quietly. When your attention is constantly being brought back to what you �ind ful�illing and joyful,
there remains less and less energy for frustration and dis-ease. You get lifted up into a higher vibration and things
seem to just �low together with greater ease.

YOU VISUALIZE YOUR FUTURE.

Practice envisioning your future as often as possible. You are activating your vision. Begin to imagine living your
desire. Picture it. Feel yourself in it. Get lost in the joy of your imagination. The more you practice, the more your
brain creates neural pathways for your new vision, and the more energy your subconscious releases into what you
are telling it to create. You are taking possibilities and turning them into probabilities. With repetition, probabili-
ties turn into reality.

YOU PRESENT YOURSELF AND YOUR WORK IN A MEANINGFUL, WELL�COMMUNICATED PACKAGE.

Your marketing pieces; business cards, brochures, postcards, your web site, must all carry the same message and
look cohesive. Marketing pieces have two goals. The passive goal is to generate trust and con�idence in you and
your company, to introduce you to them and to promote awareness of your brand. When you think of your brand in

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this way, like how they brand cattle-a mark that is identi�iable and the same on every cow, you’re on the right trail.
Branding is about you, your mark of ownership. Everything that you do, say or print already carries your mark. It
pays to be conscious about the message you are communicating.

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NOW INTO WOW

©2008 janet koukol

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 DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE

DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE:

1. Taking charge of your life:

GET BACK IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT

If we don’t change direction soon, we’ll end up where we’re going.

Professor Irwin Corey

A poor workman blames his tools.

George Koukol

Become Responsible

W
hat is deciding your future right now? Often it’s an unfortunate combination of pure chance,

not- so- enlightened reactions to circumstances with lots of frustration and monotony. Wel-

come to the world of quiet desperation.

Escape from the daily grind means reclaiming and using your power to consciously create a life

that sustains you. Your future is not determined by the economy, your income level, your parents or

your best friend. There is one person at cause, making all your decisions, who determines all the effects

of your life, and that’s you. Take ownership of your actions and the consequences. When you say things

like “It’s not my fault” and blame another person or the situation, you surrender the power you have to

change ‘What Is’ into ‘What Can Be’’.

If no one is at fault, then no one is responsible. It’s a temporarily safe position. You can pass the

buck and not have to do anything yourself. However, it is an ultimately weak position. Every time you

blame, judge or accuse someone or something else, you are in effect saying “This person/ thing/situa-

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NOW INTO WOW

tion is responsible for me. I cannot be responsible for myself. By making this choice, I allow it/them to

decide the outcome of my life.” Then you get mad and resentful because you feel so powerless. Go �igure.

When you choose to accept your ability to create in your own life, then you accept the power to

change your own life. Take responsibility whenever you can. When you take responsibility you reclaim

your power as a co-creation your life. You have the power to change course and choose a different out-

come. Don’t blame yourself for how you’ve been in the past, just accept your power to choose different

actions now, therefore different outcomes, in the present. All things change when you do.

Learn to use your power to create what you desire . The adage ‘energy �lows where attention

goes’ is true. Your ability to co-create means you can and should be directing the �low of your energy

consciously. You already do it, mainly unconsciously, sending energy to everyone and everything you put

your attention on. If your attention is focused on people and things ‘out there’, that is exactly where your

energy is going, out there, feeding other people, circumstances, and situations. When you take responsi-

bility just for you, you stop energetically feeding the externals. More and more of your energy will stay

with you. When you are in possession of your energy, you are full. When you are full, energized, you can

give. How can you give if you’re constantly running on empty? Begin to take care of yourself. Pay atten-

tion to where you put your attention. Learn to keep yourself full and consequently in the best position to

give.

When you blame, judge or accuse, your powerlessness keeps you tossed about by circumstanc-

es-- you react to everything, put out �ires everywhere. It’s crisis management. When you begin to con-

sciously take responsibility for where you put your energy, you will build a �irm foundation from which

to respond. Intentionally directing your energy allows you to be on top of situations and circumstances,

not controlled by them.

Just like the blame game, getting caught up in the drama of everyone else’s life will distract you

from your life’s purpose. In stead of focusing on what you can change, you focus on the never ending

parade of ‘who said what’, --which you have no control over. Getting stuck here is a recipe for ineffective-

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 DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE

ness. Focusing on outer drama creates inner drama in your own life-- resulting in incessant whining and

wheel-spinning. Your unfocused energy, with no de�ined purpose, leaks away into people and situations

that keep you busy and dissatis�ied. Powerless.

In order to begin taking charge, it’s important to get a few things straight. Taking charge is not

being in control. Taking charge is knowing who you are and where you are going. It is not about control-

ling what happens to you along the way. Bad things, unexpected things can happen. These things have

the potential to throw you off course for awhile, maybe a long while. The important thing is to have a

course to get back to. If you �irmly know where you are coming from and what you’d like to accomplish

along the way, you will watch your dreams turn into your reality.

Don’t assume that anyone else can make your decisions for you or is better equipped to run

your life. When you start intentionally investing your energy into things and outcomes that serve you,

your life will change. By consciously choosing and holding the image of what you want to see next in

your life, you determine where your energy will go. When you decide what you want, a way to achieve

it will present itself . In all instances, when we take charge of our own lives, and get to know ourselves

and what we desire, our manifested dreams become natural extensions of our power to create.

Getting To Know Who You Are

G
et straight on who you are. Become reaquainted with yourself and what you are allowing to

de�ine who you are. Your core identity comes from inside you. There is nothing outside you that

can de�ine you. You pick up people, possessions, circumstances, and try to de�ine yourself by them. They

are with you for a time and then things change, life moves on, and you are changed, by divorce, illness, a

new job, falling in love. This is the cycle, ever changing, ever surging forward. If you are identifying and

attaching yourself to those changing scenes, then you will be devastated when change inevitably comes,

because who you thought you were will change too. You can’t anchor your world or your identity on

things that change then expect your world to stay the same. Some people will be with you for a lifetime.

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NOW INTO WOW

Others will come and go. No attachment is eternal, you are not guaranteed that anyone will always be

there for you. You can’t de�ine yourself by your best friend, your spouse, your lover. It will change. Your

job won’t work either. Or your toys.

De�ine yourself by who you truly are. You are digni�ied, worthy and esteemed-- because you are

a human being. These principles are your birthright. They are non-negotiable. No one and no thing can

take away your dignity, worth or your esteem. It can sure feel like it- bullies, emotional blackmailers,

ideas of the way you ‘should’ be. They fool you, scare you into giving over you power to them, making

you feel less than you are. The truth is that you are a �low of blessing directly from the Source of all

things. In your essence you are pure potentiality. You are capable of anything. Stop allowing yourself to

be less.

There is a space (an openness, the original Shalom, the Peace) that is the background upon

which all of creation sits. This ground is the �ield Rumi talks about when he says “there is a �ield that ex-

ists beyond wrong and right, I’ll meet you there.” It has been called ‘The Gap’. It is the space that exists,

where all things a part of the whole, before duality, before the ‘I AM’ becomes any thing. The God-space.

The place of pure potentiality. Everything that could ever be already exists here as pure potential. This is

your true home.

This space is ever-present, �lowing under and through all your experiences, possessions and re-

lationships. You sense this dynamic space and forgetting how you relate to it, try to �ill it with material

things; with stuff. Instead of de�ining yourself by this pure potentiality, already �illed with and capable of

manifesting everything you need, you feel the emptiness and are afraid.

The real essence of who you are is here – beyond the stuff, the drama, the pain. The real you is

formless, timeless, ageless. You are in�initely capable and in�initely powerful. You are a being able to

express the Source of all being in the material world, however you choose to do that. When you realize

this, you will stop trying to equate and de�ine yourself by material objects and circumstances. You will

stop trying to �ill the Gap and realize that it is already full. When you identify with Spirit, God, Source,

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 DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE

Love, you identify with your true essence. De�ine yourself by that which exists beyond form, beyond

identi�ication with things.

I am…what? An artist? A friend? A wife? A mother? A grandmother? An employer? A co-

worker? Yes, you are these things temporarily. Learn to shift your idea about who you really are to your

permanent identity beyond ‘titles’.

You are a child of God, a stream of blessing, a digni�ied vessel to express the divine here and

now. You are an outpouring of spirit, channelled through your individuality. You do not ‘reach’ your

potential, you are pure potential. Your decisions determine your future and co-create your life. The Uni-

verse responds to your intention.

You are here to express the divine in this world. How you express it is up to you. You are blessed

to be a blessing; to come from your inheritance - as an outpouring of God, unique in your individual gifts

and talents. Step into your life with con�idence, with purpose. When you work and suffer to develop

your raw talents, you take ownership of them, and they become yours to give. It is the gift that only you

can lay at the altar of life.

Establish Meaning

Y
ou are a creative being. Every creation begins with a thought. Before anything physical thing can manifest,

there must exist a mental concept, an idea. A bridge is �irst an idea in the mind of an engineer. The Trump

Tower was conceptualized onto a blueprint from an idea in Donald Trumps’ head. Your mind allows you

to take pure potential and actualize it here and now. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, was

right when he said, “whatever the mind can conceive and believe; it can achieve.”

Every thought you think begins a manifestation, but without awareness and attention, a thought

form doesn’t have the power to enter the physical world. You have to ‘see’ it �irst, and continue seeing

and believing that what you imagine can indeed come into reality. It takes discipline not to give up or

get distracted. Keep taking small steps each day in the direction of your dream, and it will enter reality.

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NOW INTO WOW

The only thing that can stop this process is giving up.

In the process of manifestation, creative ability is often confused with the creative process it-

self. Instead of focusing on what you want to create and its manifestation, your energy is depleted with

wondering if what you create will have any meaning. You get sidetracked into a need to make your life

meaningful. You create nothing because you doubt your creativity. This often results in a vicious cycle of

depression, anger and frustration. The question is ‘What shall I create?’ not ‘Is what I create meaning-

ful?’

The unconscious assumption is that ‘if what I create is meaningful, my life is meaningful.’ Con-

versely, ‘if what I create has no meaning, then I have no meaning.’ This assumption is especially hard on

artists and creative types because so often they take meaning from their work, not from their ability to

create their work.

Joseph Campbell, the mythologist, said that people often asked him what he felt was the mean-

ing of life. He felt they had the question backwards. He felt the real question was ‘what meaning does life

hold for you?’ What do you love? What makes you grin ear to ear? What means the world to you? What

is precious? Where do you �ind your bliss?

You will �ind meaning in the same place that you �ind joy. You create meaning in your life when

you �ind yourself discovering joy. The things that light you up are the clues to where your meaning lies.

When you know what brings you joy, you will know what your life means to you.

Somewhere around 1707, Antonio Stradivarius was making incredible stringed instruments in

Cremona. He poured his heart and soul into making the best instruments in the world. People came from

all over to hear the heavenly quality of the sound he produced. God decided one day to visit Stradivarius.

“Stradivarius my friend, indeed, you make the best violin on earth. The angels tell me every day

how they too, would like to play a Stradivarius violin.”

“God,” said Stradivarius, “what a surprise to see you. Please, have a seat. I am not worthy of your

attention. I use the humble talents you have given me to create great instruments. You know that I know

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 DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE

that without You I am nothing.”

“Yes, this is true” said God, “without me you can do nothing. But without you, Stradivarius, the

world would not have such wonderful violins!”

Stradivarius’ purpose was to express the God-force �lowing through him. He found his meaning

and greatest joy in creating incredible violins.

The life force will take a spin on your particular gifts, talents and pop out a combination that

has never existed before. No one else can do it like you do. Your peculiar mix of talents and abilities

combined with LIFE will allow a new note to be heard in the big song. And guess what? It’s up to you to

decide how you want to play your tune. You decide what’s meaningful for you. You decide how you are

going to harmonize.

Where is your connection to meaning? In the direction of creativity, music, dance, raising your

kids, writing novels, having a job you love? Even if you just accept the idea that you have the ability to

create meaning for yourself, you begin a series of life-changing, life- enhancing realizations. You are

always creating. Consciously choose whether the experiences you create are meaningful or not.

When you begin to focus on what is meaningful to you, you will become conscious of where you

are placing your attention. Are you consciously thinking and doing those things that will bring meaning

to your life? Or are you un-focused and at the whim of external events? Your thoughts, words and ac-

tions are creating the world around you. Is it meaningful?

As meaning starts inside you, it will expand to the walls of your own home, to your family

and friends then outwards into your community. As your circle becomes wider, and includes others,

synchronicity will become more apparent everywhere. People, events, and circumstances will begin

to reveal your connection to and with everything. You will begin to see your role as co-creator in ac-

tion. You will see your meaning as it is re�lected back to by those people and things you in�luence. You

will begin to de�ine yourself from a deep place of joy. This is what is meant by ‘follow your bliss’. This is

meaning from the inside-out, not from the outside-in.

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NOW INTO WOW

Start slowly to replace your old beliefs about yourself with new, better-�itting ones; more in

alignment with who you are. Start coloring outside the lines. Be willing to look at yourself differently,

based on your possibilities, not your past. Stop making decisions out of fear, and begin to step out a little

more boldly. Trust yourself. You have received the most precious gift in the Universe: Life. Life has a big

strong grip on you and isn’t going to let go. Trust that life has been at this a lot longer than you have and

it has a lot invested in you.

Without you claiming your potential, all of life misses out on your particular expression. A

world without you, a world without Stradivarius. Start generating capitol within yourself. It creates true

power; the power to choose how, when, where, and with whom. The power to choose your goals, your

path, who to be, who not to be. You can never lose your human birthright-- your ability to create, re-cre-

ate and transform your world-- be willing to take responsibility for it now.

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 DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE

2. Say Goodbye To Hollywood:

BELIEF, FEAR AND FLOW

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;

the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
--George Bernard Shaw

The old paradigm is finding a place for ourselves in the world. The new
paradigm is finding a place for the world in ourselves.
Marianne Williamson

Change What You Believe About You

T
he higher you’re going to �ly in life, the less dead weight you can carry. Many old beliefs can be re-

evaluated. For instance, my third grade teacher once said to me that I was obnoxious. Granted, it

was an understatement, however, it became a die-hard belief. I went through years of obnoxious. Does

it apply to me in my forty-something present? Or is it out- dated and better dropped altogether? Can I

replace it with a new belief that supports and empowers who I am now? ‘I am obnoxious’ could become

‘I am full of energy’. And, when you’re over forty, that’s a good thing.

See your situation; recognize the beliefs that are creating it, and replace them with ones that

serve who you are now. You can drop the beliefs completely, but sometimes it’s easier initially, to

replace them with something supportive. Retrain your mind. Stop creating the drama that results from

living out of unconscious, out-dated beliefs. It’s where you place your attention that makes the differ-

ence. It’s your choice. Stop paying attention to beliefs that hold you back and start focusing on beliefs

that help you on your chosen path.

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NOW INTO WOW

Accept your life exactly as it is right now. Accept your past, and examine the beliefs that have got

you where you are. Change them if need be. Agree to love yourself right here, right now. There is no one

else like you on the planet. You are perfectly yourself. Get back in the �low of life by accepting ‘what-is’.

Remember, life is always moving forward. Don’t get stuck in the backwaters suffering with resentment

and fear. Get back in the current as quickly as possible. Those backwaters are loaded with bitter, resent-

ful people who watch life go by, suffering endlessly and pointlessly.

Real suffering, conscious suffering, takes place when you go through the necessary pain of

changing your beliefs. They are beloved to you-- old friends. Many were created unconsciously to pro-

tect you. You are big enough to choose beliefs more in keeping with who you are now. The suffering is in

the letting go. But once you let go of the past and those worn-out beliefs, you are released. The only way

to be truly present, and truly free, is to accept life as it is, fresh, ever changing. When you try to make

any of life, as such, conform to your ‘belief system’, you are tying it down, holding it still. Water that

doesn’t move stagnates. Allow yourself to �low along with life. Gracefully turn over your false sense of

control to the bigger force that is unfolding the Universe, exactly as it needs to be, yourself included.

As you exchange old beliefs for new, see this letting go for what it is: a temporary return to cha-

os. You are inviting change. Change is by nature unsettling. In the growth required to adopt a new set of

beliefs, there is a large spurt of expansion and activity. It is followed by a rebalancing time of contract-

ing; a time of stillness, to allow the pieces to reform into a coherent picture. The seeds of transformation

are present in chaos. As a caterpillar experiences the soupy breakdown of its caterpillar being, new

cells, called imaginal cells begin to multiply. These cells multiply and overwhelm the immune system.

The caterpillar actually liqui�ies. Finally, the imaginal cells gather, differentiate and form and entirely

new creature-- the butter�ly. Everything is put back together in a new, dynamic, updated version. We
W

must die to our old self to be born into our true nature and destiny.

Trust that life is carrying you. You’re beginning to become conscious of how harshly the mani-

festation caused by your old beliefs cut you off from your source, how your old beliefs truly did not

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serve you. You’re going to experience bouts of chaos. Out of chaos emerges re-organization, a birthing-

-new life. Soon, you will recognize this cycle and welcome the exciting growth period and accept the

unsettling/re-settling period as just as necessary. While you are in chaos, new strengths are forged and

merged. You become more.

Real change requires a deep inner shift. If you start lifting weights, you wouldn’t expect to see

results right away. Deep muscle change occurs �irst, unseen. A lot of your initial progress will be internal

and invisible. Don’t get discouraged. Your job is to establish new connections in the direction of joy. All

you may be able to muster up at �irst is feeling better; not so out of control. A far cry from joy, but it’s

authentic, a new reaction, creating the beginnings of a new way of responding to the world.

Overcoming Fear

F
ear comes from not being on auto-pilot any more. You are learning to �ly solo. You are learning

to deal with life as it is. The legitimate suffering that comes from letting go of limiting beliefs is

painful because even though they are destructive to you, you are attached to them. Until you are �irmly

established in our new belief system, it can be a scary time, yet it is necessary in order to create new

meaning. Be patient with yourself when you are afraid or confused. Keep in mind that you have a right

to be here-- a right to become the best you can be.

Releasing your fear is like a deep spring cleaning. It sweeps out the clutter inside and creates

space. It creates the beginnings of silence in you. Wide open space- where a new vision can well up and

pleasantly surprise and delight you. In this space the still small voice, the only voice that is truly yours,

can �inally be heard.

Listening to this new voice will allow you to blaze your own trail and build personal strength.

You will discover how meaning and happiness arise from the inside. You will no longer be ‘out there’

knocking on door after door to �ind your place in the world. You will discover the place where the needs

of the world coincide with your gifts. That place is within you. Your desire to be of service, to use your

gifts where they are most needed comes from within you.

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NOW INTO WOW

Your biggest obstacle will be your perception of yourself. Spend time with people who believe in

you and who build you up. As you build more respect for yourself you will �ind that you interact less and

less with those who seem intent upon destroying your vision, raining on your parade and keeping you

involved in their drama. Change your perception of yourself. Begin to value yourself, believe that you are

perfectly capable, just unpracticed. Remind yourself often of who you are and where you come from. You

have the power of the Universe manifesting through you.

The Universe expects that you will actualize; that you will grow into the potential you have been

given. With God behind you, who can be against you?

You.

Decide to get out of the way.

Dare to do something different for yourself. Dare to re-create your current life into one that you

love. Don’t wait for a big trigger to be pulled (divorce, illness, re-location, etc.) Pull the trigger yourself.

It’s a lot easier to handle change starting from a position of power rather than having it forced upon you.

None of this is impossible. It just takes practice, one day at a time, one step at a time. Learning

to love yourself, overcoming fears and doubts and taking charge of your destiny is a path to a glorious

future. Most people are too fearful to take the �irst step. You’re well beyond the �irst step of wanting a

different experience of life. It may have been an uphill battle for you to have arrived at this place of be-

ginning, but know this-- you are stronger for it, uphill battles produce strengths that can’t be developed

any other way. There is no way around it. Without going through it, you will never own your gifts, speak

from your own voice or wield your own power. Your power will stay in the hands of someone or some-

thing else.

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3. Principles:
WORKING MIRACLES AND CHANGING DIRECTION

As to methods, there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man
who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods,
ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished

at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life.
James Allen

Your actions reflect your thoughts.

Your habits reflect your repeated actions., your circumstances reflect your habits.
To change your life, change what you are thinking about…
Janet Koukol

Living From Inside-out

D
on’t re-invent the wheel. Identify where you’re at, then reorganize and consciously add the beliefs

and attributes you will need for the journey into your new life. Re-focus your time and talents on

the things that get you motivated. When your life becomes exciting to you, you’ll want to jump out of bed

and get cracking. Until then, it’s just making it through another day.

The old mechanistic world view is fading, and the world is now seen as a living, dynamic organ-

ism that is responsive to our thoughts and actions. When you recognize the principles working in your

life and see clearly what results you are manifesting, you realize you have the power to choose any out-

come you desire. You can work with the Law of the Harvest (as you sow, so shall you reap) to sow seeds

of your choice, that result in the harvest you want. You become an active co-creator of your life, master

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of your destiny.

Living from inner principles is living from your authentic self, your true source of power. When

you live who you are, you are in harmony with the world around you and the world works with you.

When you try to force reality to match your belief system, blaming and criticizing, you work against

creation. Life then is a constant struggle--hell on earth. Accepting life as it is, living from inner guides

rather than external events is conducive to organic �low, ease of doing, right action, watching the road

rise to meet you, synchronicity and joy. In short--you experience heaven on earth. You accomplish more

with less effort. Work on centering yourself on solid, unchanging principles rather than ever-changing

beliefs and whims.

Begin with observing the core principles that govern your life. These inner standards are un-

changing guides that will hold true no matter how much chaos occurs around you.

A journal would be a great investment, even if it’s just a spiral notebook. The changes you will

manifest start out subtly and in the early days it’s encouraging to be able to look back and see how you

have made better choices even over the span of a few days. Journaling is recognized as a profound tool,

especially for woman, who are able to unload their feelings and return to a sense of peace through the

simple act of writing down our daily stories. I also recommend an Accomplishment Journal where you

can list out your goals, one per page, written at the top of the page. Then as you read through them each

day, spend a moment or two visualizing them more clearly, and writing down whatever action steps

come to you. Some goals are long term, some short. It’s great to look back at the end of the year and re-

ally see where you’ve been and how much growth you’ve achieved.

≡ Worksheet: Awareness Of Core Principles

In the following list, which of the words are resonating in you? Which of them stands out?

Identify three to �ive to start.

Hint: Don’t think about the meaning of the words, just scan down the list, as detached
from the de�inition of the word as you can be. Your mind will pause brie�ly on the ones
that resonate.

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Principles

Abundance Acceptance Appreciation Pleasure

Balance Beauty Belonging Respect

Choice Comfort Communication Security

Contribution Creativity Discernment Spirituality

Dominion Fairness Faith Trust

Family Freedom Ful�illment Security

Fun Gratitude Happiness Relationship

Wholeheartedness Harmony Health Safety

Honesty Humor Independence Signi�icance

Integrity Interdependence Intimacy Success

Joy Love Loyalty Wisdom

Mastery Moderation Order Power

Participation Partnership Peace Responsibility

Perfection Perspective Work Service

Simplicity Courage Character Stability

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Write each one down, starting again at the top of the list and scanning until the next one pops

out. You may have to scan the list ten times before you get three to �ive, but they will appear as you relax

and quit trying to make the words mean something. Sometimes it helps to scan the list from the bottom

up, right to left, since we don’t usually read this way. This list is in no way exhaustive. It’s just to get you

started. Once you become aware of underlying principles operating in your life, you will recognize the

chaos based drama that you thought was your center. Focusing on unchanging, organized principles will

give you clarity and peace in the changing world.

In your journal, brie�ly de�ine each term and how it applies to your life. I used a paragraph,

but two or three words that give you the idea are �ine too. The idea is to understand what the word

means to you on the feeling level. For instance, the meaning of the word ‘family’ may seem obvious at

�irst, but do you mean just your immediate family? Does it include your lineage? Or the entire human

race? Each of these concepts brings up a different feeling association. The clearer you are on what feel-

ings resonate with you, the more in-formed you will be by the particular principle.

These are the underlying basic assumptions helping you to uncover the essence, the heart, of

who you are being. Different principles will be prominent for the different lessons of your life, but the

principles themselves won’t change. Mastery, for instance, will always include expert knowledge or

outstanding ability. The essence of the principle will express itself more clearly into the world through

you, as you visualize it and its implications on your life. As you work with principles, you will begin to

live from the inside out- principles will in-form you rather than be informed by the dramatic world as it

rushes by, demanding your attention.

Consciously working with principles will reclaim your power to live from the heart of your be-

ing. These principles are the guides to the life of your dreams. Remember those caterpillars’ imaginal

cells? These principles are your imaginal cells, the catalysts for changing your now into wow. As you are

able to live more and more by principles, you will be buffeted less and less by the external world.

A principle-based experience could look like this: You have a disagreement with your spouse.

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Principles Example
Creativity, fulfillment, recognition, perfection, significance.

Creativity: My artwork, the way I come up with weird solutions to issues with the kids, the way I go about
things, the way I always see shapes in the trees, the way I dress, what my environment looks like. I see creativ-
ity all over my life- it’s the backdrop that everything else hangs on. I know that if I don’t have this in my life, I
go nuts. I really suffer when I repress this energy. I need this aspect of me to go large.
Ful�illment: Being satis�ied with my work, my family, my life. Being challenged and growing. If I am not read-
ing, teaching, learning, I wilt. Ful�illing is being out there- seeing people, exchanging meaning. I want the real
deal. Vicarious living isn’t for me; I want to create my own life, my own way of relating with the world. I love
being alive and I want to feel that feeling of aliveness as often as possible.
Recognition: This one surprised me because I don’t think of this when I think of me in the past. Recognition
for a job well done; for a lot of effort and energy. To be seen. Not just by others, but the transparent way of
being seen- where you are recognized for who you are, not for the façade or the image, but for what resonates
between you and another. To be re-cognized, re- looked at, to be seen for who I truly am and to be ok with that
level of clarity and honesty.
Perfection: Isn’t this what you don’t want to be? There goes the judge in me…perfection. To make what you
do the best. To be perfect. Perfectly me… perfectly open…what does perfect mean? So I looked it up:
Wiktionary:
Fitting its de�inition precisely.
Having all of its parts in harmony with a common purpose.
Thoroughly skilled or talented.
Excellent and delightful in all respects.
(grammar) (of a tense or verb form) Representing a completed action.
(biology) Sexually mature and fully differentiated.
I see deeper reasons why this principle resonated with me. It seems in harmony with Mastery- an elusive
principle which has fascinated me forever. I wouldn’t have consciously picked it, but there you go.
Signi�icance: Having meaning, being important for deep reasons, making a difference. Something
that makes you stop and think. Something that acts as a signpost- gets your attention. Synchronicity
becomes more apparent when we look for it. Magni�icence. Something big and slightly ‘other’ in its
importance. Something that requires attention.

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You are working with the principles of abundance, love, creativity and family. Most days you are get-

ting calmer and know that you are headed in the right direction. You are beginning to notice help and

encouragement manifesting all around you. However, today, your husband is angry-- coming from fear

and has a need to get you to identify with how he is seeing and feeling the events around him. If you take

on his viewpoint, you will become angry and fearful too. If you continue to identify with your principles

as your viewpoint, you will stay on course and not feel a need to see things ‘his way’. Your principles

will in-form you, rather than his current view of things. You can acknowledge his viewpoint, and be

empathetic, but you do not have to engage with it. You will be of more help coming from a neutral, non-

reactive mindset rather than joining him in the drama created by anger and fear. With practice, it will

become more dif�icult for you to be ‘emotionally hooked’ by others. You will begin to have high immu-

nity to outside events and circumstances pulling you off course.

≡ Action: Create A Vision Card

You will need a 3x5 card.

On the top, in the margin, write an ‘I AM’ statement, based upon the principles you chose:

I am creative, ful�illed, recognized, perfected, and signi�icant.

Or use more feeling-evoking words like:

I am zany, inspired, over�lowing, satis�ied, free, authentically who I am, using my

talents, delighted in my life.

Your list may describe you; it may surprise you. It is a starting point. Stay with your �irst set of

principles for an entire month. Starting somewhere, even if you change course later, is better than not

starting at all. Avoid any opportunity for procrastination.

Read this card every night before sleep and every morning upon waking. Doing this alone

will create large shifts in your perception of yourself, which will manifest a different reality. You are

consciously creating an environment for vision and a ground upon which to express yourself. You are

becoming a conscious co-creator.

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These principles are your allies – your safe and sure reference points when the going gets rough.

Like a compass, they will point to what is true when you can’t see through the drama.

As you read through these each day, take a moment to become aware of how these principles

make you feel. Your emotions and feelings are the magnets that will pull a new reality to you. Acquir-

ing new knowledge is not enough. That’s only in your head. You’ve got to practice the conscious feeling

of owning these principles in order to move them down into your heart where they can be expressed

outwardly in your daily life. Lesley Fieger, author of The Delphin System, explains this process clearly:

“When coherent and cohesive thoughts are held in the mind, through the law of at-

traction, suf�icient energy will congeal to create the object, event or circumstance.

Mentally concentrate on what you desire - hold it in your mind as a reality, visualize

its completeness and it will come into being.”

Identifying with principles helps you to take ownership, consciously, of how you are creating your

life. For instance, you �ind a principle like ‘moderation’ resonating with you and you are struggling with

weight issues. Working with the concept of moderation for a month will provide insight into your habits

and behaviors. Once you become conscious of the principle that’s guiding you, you can also see how you

sabotage that principle unconsciously. Visualize and feel the positive feeling of moderation. This is disci-

pline. You decide what is enough, when to say no. You create your future by choosing to live moderately

now. Visualize being able to say no. Visualize a woman powerful enough and strong enough to determine

her appearance by making choices that suit her best interest. Feel that you, not the situation, is in control.

The magic bullet is visualization practice, incorporating the feeling of successful moderation consciously .

No excuses. Just do it. Ten minutes twice a day will work a miracle. It will open doors and bring opportuni-

ties. Make it into a goal and af�irmation: ‘I am moderate in all my behaviours.’ Use this as a one page jour-

nal entry and record the thoughts that come to you about moderation, (or whatever principle you choose

to work with.) In a month’s time, you will have a whole new understanding of yourself. Very powerful.

You’re starting the process of being consciously true to who you are. Being who you are is your

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greatest point of leverage. Begin to make room in each day to do at least one thing that expresses your

principles in a positive and joyful way. It may be hard at �irst to come up with any options. This is new

thinking-- but you will get good at it. As you practice visualizing, your subconscious will shift things around

for you, you will expand and ideas will percolate up. It will become easier. Then it will become fun. Finally

it will become second nature.

When you become familiar with some of the principles resonating in your life, it’s possible to

choose purposefully to add other principles that you would like to see manifest in your reality. Consciously

working with new principles causes them to be activated in the mental stage ( the realm of ideas). Once ac-

tivated, they effect physical reality where events and circumstances will arise re�lecting your new aware-

ness.

You are realigning yourself with your innate strength, your power. This will get the ball rolling.

You can use the 3x5 system with new principles--even after you are familiar with the process, it is still

the easiest way to change your self. It’s a inexpensive, convenient tool to help you to quickly remember

the magni�icent creative being that you truly are.

Being Still

W
hen you are joyful, you are powerful and in alignment with your highest purpose. It takes a

lot to knock you over. However, there are those days when it’s easy to succumb to the negativ-

ity around you. Not yet in the habit of living in the trust of your new path, so when the dark days come

and your way is temporarily obscured, its easy to become depressed and fearful. Whether the negativity

shows up in the form of others bringing you down, intolerable situations or unexpected events, you of-

ten magnify it with worry and self-doubt. Not only are you left without a solution, but you feel powerless

and hopeless. What is the quickest, kindest way to quiet the emotional storm and return to your source

of power and guidance? What can you do to re-center and know your next step?

When the going gets tough, the tough get going, and the wise get still. Creating silence is the

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powerful recipe for allowing right action to arise within you. Action that is deeply right--
right in alignment

with your goals and principles. Getting back into touch with your physical body is one of the best ways

to get centered again.

Before you use this meditation, remember two things.

1. Let go. Allow everything to be just as it is. If you are �ighting anything in your life, then you are in

disharmony with the entire universe. Don’t waste your energy pushing against what-is-- against the

universe-- which is presenting itself to you just as it is. Your acceptance of what-is allows energy to

�low to you. Allowing restores harmony between you and the universe. Until you accept what-is, you

have no ground on which to effect change. When you are in agreement with the universe, accepting that

everything is just as it is supposed to be, without judgment, in that awareness you can plant a seed for a

different harvest. You choose to exercise your ability to consciously co-create your future.

2. You don’t have to DO anything. Let go of the need to control the situation. When you feel the need to

force change on a person or situation, you are adding to the emotional upheaval. When you get caught

up in the drama of the situation, you are focused on the problem, and effectively shut down your ability

to hear God, who is the solution. Focus on your connection with the Divine and open to receive comfort

and guidance.

≡ Meditation: Peace
Sit quietly where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes. Take several deep breaths and as

you exhale, think-- ‘I am peaceful.” Close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting in the middle of an

immense green �ield. Feel your strong connection to the earth’s energy through the soft, warm, sweet

smelling grass. Stretch your body and relax. Allow three things that are keeping you from accepting

peace completely to present themselves. Ask yourself of each :

“Am I willing to let go of this?”

“Can I let go of this?”

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“What is one immediate bene�it of letting go right now?”

If the bene�it outweighs the cost of being dis-eased (by holding on out of resentment or fear)--

let go!

“I choose to let go of this now!”

Imagine that as you say these words, each issue is launched into the sky carried by a large,

beautiful hot air balloon. Mentally attach to the balloons your resentments, fears and frustrations sur-

rounding the situation and see them being pulled from you as long streamers, crackling red with anger,

shooting yellow lightning bolts of fear, orange �ire-cracker bursts of pure frustration. Just let them be

gently pulled out and away from you by the ascent of the balloon. Feel the release and space created by

their absence. Allow any shiny black guilt and depressions’ grey fog to �ill the baskets. It’s so noisy and

colorful! Notice how easy it is to be distracted from peace with all the commotion. Be aware of your

tendency to be distracted when things overwhelm you. Be aware that you can consciously choose peace.

Watch the balloons as they eventually �loat higher and higher, �inally out of sight, the noise ends and

you are left in quiet. In peace.

Now become aware of the earth’s energy �lowing into you, grounding you and centering you.

Let everything around you present itself exactly as it is. Accept it with peace, knowing that on some

level, everything is just as it should be. A wonderful feeling of belonging surrounds you. Sit quietly with

awareness of the dynamic peace that is the ground of your being. From here you can receive wisdom.

You will know what to do, how to respond in the best possible way. As you become centered in peace,

you align with God. In that awareness, what is happening around you no longer dictates your reaction.

Your response is based on the guidance and wisdom that comes automatically when you are centered

and open and accepting.

Breathe in deeply. Slowly come back into this time and place. Open your eyes.

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 SETTING YOUR COURSE

SETTING YOUR COURSE:

4. Choosing Your Direction

BROAD NEW HORIZONS

First decide where you are going. Then decide who is going with you.
Don’t ever get those two reversed.
Sam Keen

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short,
but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.
Michelangelo

Choosing Where You Are Going

W
hen you are on the path to knowing who you are and consciously directing your energy in the

direction that you want to go, you are courting inspiration. Identifying who you are and where

you are coming from clears a lot of psychic clutter; old beliefs, dead weight; all the stuff you are not. It’s

hard to get �illed with inspiration when you’re full of old baggage. The initial effort must be to head in

the direction of joy daily, no matter how small that step is. Getting rid of all the emotional baggage and

clutter connects you back to open space. The place of potential is where inspiration starts.

Inspiration literally means to be spirit- �illed. On the wings of spirit comes vision. The Bible

states, ‘without vision the people will die.” Being inspired and having a vision is the difference between

looking forward with anticipation to our days rather than just getting through another day.

Inspiration �ills you from within. Recognizing what you love, getting excited. Consciously

making room for those things you love creates the attitude of joy and inspiration. The importance of

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being inspired cannot be overstated. When you are �ired up about something, you have the motivation

necessary to accomplish it. When you are uninspired life is a boring waste of time. It becomes dif�icult to

perceive any meaning. You have to have inspiration and vision so that your life can have meaning.

Vision is the over-arching dream from which goals and directives present themselves. Vision by

its nature is inspired, therefore, inspiring. Filled with a vision, you are overjoyed and blissful, motiva-

tion is easy and natural. Vision, when combined with your love for what you want to accomplish and

delight in expressing your talents, will start an avalanche of motivation.

In the past, you have often been told that you need a plan, a strategy--goals to accomplish your

new vision. So, thinking about it, you write down what you need to become and would like to accom-

plish. Your initial glow of intention lasts the entire day, but then you wake up the next day with zero

motivation. In addition, you can now add frustration, disenchantment and depression to your emotional

bank account. Fabulous.

The problem? Most people use their heads to goal-set. This way of arriving at outcomes, look-

ing ‘out there’ and deciding what is needed, (often based on the expectations of others, or extenuating

circumstances) – is always external and therefore intrinsically uninspiring. Writer Michael Neill came

up with a great way of describing the standard left-brained way of goal setting. He calls it S.M.A.R.T.

(Speci�ic, measurable, action-oriented, realistic, and time-speci�ic.) Another recipe for millions of people

leading lives of quiet desperation. When you set your goals in this frame of mind, what outcome can you

expect? A mechanistic life that will be speci�ic, measurable, action-oriented (read exhausted) realistic

and time-speci�ic. Where is the joy? Where is the excitement?!! Where is the human being and his ability

to create? LIFE, participating in life; means an inspiring job, excitement, things that bring out your best

and challenge you to become more. How are these things going to manifest if the path to achieve them is

based on an uninspired list of external ‘things I want’ or ‘I want to achieve”?

Vision on the other hand, has the emotional �ire of passion behind it. Your emotion from the

heart is what gives you motivation. Passion comes from the heart, not the head. It takes courage to put

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 SETTING YOUR COURSE

your heart into something. You risk involvement. But isn’t that what you want? Involvement with life?

Aren’t you done with watching your life drift by? To seize the day is what it means to be human, to make

the most out of life. You are intended to be co-creative, interacting-- a participant.

To the degree you invest your heart into your life is the degree that you will love your life. Where

are you already investing your heart? What are the things you love? Notice the things that you are pas-

sionate about, the circumstances that make you want to jump for joy. Your passions are clues to where

you will �ind inspiration, power and motivation. These ‘things’ are not things out there, but qualities you

possess, skills you have, states of being.

It’s a subtle perceptual adjustment, but the new path has to be based not on ‘things I want’ or

‘things I want to be’- but on who ‘I AM’.

Bring forth and develop the being that you already are, that which make you unique. This is the

only way to �ind joy, abundance, and meaning in every area of your life. Learn to tap into the source of

joy and watch that feeling begin to manifest in your life. Watch in amazement as the Universe re�lects

joy back to you. Or abundance, or creativity. All these things you already are, your talents and gifts, once

expressed will be where you �ind your true ful�ilment.

When you are inspired, you begin to have a vision of how things could be. The joy of working

that vision into reality with all its challenges and dif�iculties is exciting and ful�illing in itself. Ful�ilment

comes from expressing who you are as fully as possible. Nothing helps express you more than living

your dream wholeheartedly.

Your desires will remain a vague wish unless you give them the power to manifest. No one can

do this birthing for you. Your job is to bring these thoughts down from the mental plane into the mate-

rial realm. This is the human’s co-creating ability. Spirit �ills you with desire; you pull the desire into

material form. Your part in co-creating is visualization.

The Universe does its part- it gives you the desire to express more. Without you, nothing will

happen. You must do your part. Only you can give the desire direction (imagination and visualization)

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and energy (emotion) thereby producing the feeling that will change your now into wow. It works. But

you have to do your part.

Somewhere, not too far into this process, you will catch on �ire. The moment any part of your vi-

sion becomes a reality, you will sense it. You will believe. The instant this happens your way will become

smoother--magical. ‘Unseen hands’ will appear--events and people will spontaneously appear, with the

information, encouragement, and support that you need at exactly the right time. It will be easier to hold

your head up, because you will have a sense of strength from deep inside you that will bring you joy .

You will know in your heart that you can do anything you put your mind to. You are becoming self -reli-

ant and truly prosperous-- from the inside. You have to be before you can do or have. You are mastering

the �irst step--’be’. ‘Do’ and ‘have’, action and attainment, will naturally follow. All your actions and the

results they bring you are the direct result of who you are being. You too will be on �ire, watching your

vision turn into reality.

≡ Visualization: Practice letting go to create room for inspiration

Sit quietly for a few moments and become aware of your breathing. Close your eyes and for

these minutes, allow everything that you ‘have’ to �loat up into the atmosphere. Let go of work, spouse,

children, commitments--everything. Let the Universe, God, take over for you now. Let that mighty force

handle things while you are becoming silent. Clear your mind of all worries and thoughts and keep re-

turning to your breath. Imagine who you are without all your attachments. Just you.

As you let go of attachments, imagine creating a comfortable openness-- a space of peace sur-

rounding you. This space is open, yet full of healing, calming energy. It enfolds you and soothes you. Put

your attention on your breath, feel how your body breathes for you automatically. As you relax, your

mind may offer advice or solutions to some pressing concerns ...make note and let them go without en-

gaging your mind-- you will remember them later.

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Now imagine your lap as a turbulent ocean, full of waves and storms. Imagine that you have the

power through your thought to slowly calm the waves and the storms. You can see the waves settling

down, the sky clearing in your own personal ocean. Allow the surface of this ocean to become placid

and still like glass. Imagine the clouds re�lected in the perfect calm of the water. Allow your thoughts to

become sea gulls, �lying over your ocean as they go to distant shores. Let them go.

When you feel still, say to yourself--‘I desire to change’.

What are two things you would like to let go of immediately?

Desiring to change, from this place of stillness will release thought and feelings that have been keeping

you stuck.

As these thoughts and feelings are released, imagine the empty space that they leave behind.

The universe won’t allow a vacuum. It is �illing up this space with living, vibrant energy. It is the space

where inspiration will bubble up as fears and limitations are released. This process will continue be-

yond the meditation time. The more space you create, the more you will be �looded with spirit. More life

force and energy will be available to you to live your life in the present.

As you imagine this space, daydream. Explore a little. What would be fun to do next? What

experiences would you like to have next? See new potentials and possibilities for your life. These ideas

and images will coalesce into a vision of what you could do with your life.

Take a deep breath and become aware of the dynamic peace--which is pure potentiality and the

ground of your being. Anything and everything is possible in this realm. Create in your imagination a

movie of your dream life. Begin to ‘see’ in your mind’s eye and feel in your heart a vision of what could

be. Have fun. Imagine ‘what if’?

Realize the many possible outcomes for your life. Realize that you are limited by your beliefs alone.

Take two or three deep breathes and imagine a sail boat with bright white sails moving across

your water. As you enter the boat, you see that it is full of your dreams and wishes for your life. It con-

tains the maps to any place you would like to go. It contains all the provisions you need to get there. As

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NOW INTO WOW

you place your hands on the ship’s wheel, know that you are fully quali�ied as Captain of this beautiful

boat. Your wish is its command. You pick a course that pleases you and you turn the ship into the direc-

tion of your dreams. You are not planning out the details of an entire route right now, you are merely

looking at a beautiful picture on a postcard that you imagine in your mind and decide “I want to go

there.” You are just setting sail in the direction of joy because you can.

Become aware of your breathing again and slowly return to the present. You will have a better

perspective with which to deal with immediate matters, while having the knowledge that you are head-

ing somewhere in the bigger picture. Take two deep breathes and open your eyes.

Practice envisioning your future as often as possible. You are activating your vision. Begin to

imagine living your desire. Picture it. Feel yourself in it. Get lost in the joy of your imagination. The more

you practice, the more your brain creates neural pathways for your new vision, and the more energy

your subconscious releases into what you are telling it to create. You are taking possibilities and turning

them into probabilities. With repetition, probabilities turn into reality.

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 SETTING YOUR COURSE

Letting Go

You can let go two in ways

1. Open your hand with your palm up. Requires no discipline. Your stuff stays with you.

2. Open your hand with your palm facing down. Requires discipline. Your stuff gradually falls away.

Practice letting go palm down and open. You want to drop this stuff once and for all. Say “I

am willing to let go of ………..” and let it go. See it falling away. Trust that you will be �ine without it.

Letting go with your palm facing down means disciplining yourself to not think about the

‘stuff’ once you’ve decided to let go. When you let go with your palm up, you haven’t really let go at

all. You �ind yourself thinking, blaming and accusing every chance you get. Not good.

Practice disciplining your mind every time you �ind yourself thinking about a person or situ-

ation. Physically put out your hand, palm down and say “I let go palm down. Goodbye stuff.”

With practice, it will go. You can control your thoughts.

longer

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5. Passions on Parade:
FIND OUT WHAT MOVES YOU

This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances
complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live,
it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it
burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

George Bernard Shaw

You Just Have To Be You

I
f you are like most, you’ve shelved your passions for so long that they may be forgotten. Or, you may

have developed new passions, abilities, strengths that you are not even aware of. Becoming aware of

what excites you will help jump start a mediocre life.

Use the following list to accumulate knowledge about what �ires you up. Identify your abilities,

experiences and strengths. This list will help you discover what makes you stand out, what makes you

unique. It will hint at the direction in which your future lies. What do you care about? Where do you

naturally excel? Your passions will be the power driving the creation of a ful�illing and meaningful life.

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≡ Worksheet: Identify What Excites You

1) Choose ten things you like, admire and want to see more of in your life (Things that bring you

joy, things that should be in your life). It’s like choosing your top greatest and clearest strengths. Have

fun with it.

This is an exercise only, designed to exercise your imagination. As always, the key is starting.

It really doesn’t matter where, since all things are connected and movement in any area will affect all

areas. So just dive in and adjust along the way. By creating this list you are �illing the space you created

What do you like, what can you do?

Able to generate excitement Handle complaints Marketing

Able to get things done Interior design Able to instill con�idence

Accepting of others Leading organization Artistic

Baking/cooking Make business deals Computer skills

Conceptualize ideas Motivator Coordinate services

Create advertising Organize people Creative

Critique or review others work Painting Decorating

Demonstrate how to do things Persuade others Create displays

Designer Problem solving Detail -oriented person

Detect problems or errors Organizational Edit written material

Effective listening skills Own or manage business Entrepreneur

Establish policy & procedures Great with children Eye-hand coordination

Quick learner Possess Manual dexterity Follow- through on tasks

Flying Public speaking Good communicator

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in yourself with powerful ideas about who you are and who you could be. These ideas will take on a

life of their own when combined with the list of your guiding principles. These will spark new visions

of how your life could be. That is the sole purpose – to begin to see other choices, other outcomes take

shape that you can consciously choose to weave into your life. Pick whichever concepts most excite you

and get your creative juices going.

Ten is helpful because it gives a fairly accurate idea of where your passions lie. If you have more

Public speaking Originate new ideas Fight for a cause

Reading Passionate Spirituality

Self - taught Physical work Patience

Work with handicapped people Productive Guts

Curriculum development Put people at ease Sports mastery

Team builder In�luence others Leadership

Volunteering Writing Magazine for cards

Writing skills Love learning Mentor others

Risk-taker Make people laugh Strong interpersonal skills

Set up systems Musical Teaching

Speaking Sales Great communication skills

Teach seminars Sewing/knitting/crafts Caring and empathetic

Unconventional Stamping/scrapbooking Collecting

Work with animals/pets Providing care Construct & assemble

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that’s great, but no less than seven. You want to see the shape, the general direction of where you might

be headed. Besides, there are only ten lines on a 3x5. I take that as a sign.

Now write a short sentence that expresses the spirit of what you want to see appear next in your

life, based on your passions.

In the past, this could have been called a very short mission statement, but this is not coming

from your head. This statement is from the heart, a passion statement, with a sense of fun and excite-

ment. Let’s face it. If it’s not perceived as fun, enriching or exciting, you’re not going to have the motiva-

tion to carry it through, no matter how much it needs to be done. If you don’t enjoy what you are doing,

you won’t have the motivation to overcome the fear and other obstacles as they come in. It isn’t that

you’re always going to like what you are doing , but if you have a bigger plan, then everything becomes

focused and you’ll do things because they are now a means to an end. The life that you will love, even

the not-so-lovable parts that we all have to deal with, will show up.

Your passion statement is not about achievement. It is about revealing a process, about subtly

shifting your focus from what you dislike about where you are now to the feelings you will have when

you are loving your life. What makes you say “Wow! I can do that!” I love to do that!” From now on,

focus more attention (as much as possible) on the wow vs. the now. With the focus on your dreams

instead of your obstacles, you can get through anything. Right now, focus on the big picture, not the

details.

A Top Ten Example:

1. Artist 6. Verbal communication skills
2. Encourage productivity in others 7. Able to generate excitement
3. Motivator 8. Able to instill con�idence
4. Set up systems, services, or programs 9. I am smart, self taught, quick learner
5. Team builder 10. I am full of energy

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The Top Ten List:

1. _____________________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________________________________________

4. _____________________________________________________________________________

5. _____________________________________________________________________________

6. _____________________________________________________________________________

7. _____________________________________________________________________________

8. _____________________________________________________________________________

9. _____________________________________________________________________________

10. ____________________________________________________________________________

≡ Worksheet: Write Your Passion Statement

Write your passion statement on the front of your 3x5. Continue to read the card morning and evening.

A Passion Statement Example:

I love using my creativity, sense of fun, enthusiasm and energy to help others grow and expand
through motivation and entertainment.

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Focus on what you love

S
tart by including at least two of the things on your list, every day. Eliminate at least one thing a day

that causes you stress. You can do that by focusing on intentionally including more of the things

that bring you joy. Bringing positive energy into your life through doing things that inspire you allows

a lot of the negative stuff to resolve itself quickly and quietly. When your attention is constantly being

brought back to what you �ind ful�illing and joyful, there remains less and less energy for frustration

and dis-ease. You get lifted up into a higher vibration and things seem to just �low together with greater

ease. So it’s not really magic, it is the fact ‘as a man thinketh, so is he’ - you are what you think. If you are

trying to stay centered and purposefully cultivating an attitude of joy, it’s harder for negativity to enter

your space. You’ve experienced the opposite, where everything becomes a chore when you are angry

and resentful--try being joyful and calm. You’ll get far better results.

If you love to write, and don’t have an idea for your novel yet, stoke the �ire by writing something.

Write a card, a poem, journal--any writing at all will start the �low. This process, once started, will con-

tinue on its own. You just need to start the ball rolling. It doesn’t have to be big. It really isn’t about what

you physically do, but what you consciously do to include writing in your life daily.

Starting with small things will quickly lead to a substantial �low of positive energy into your life.

You will feel inspired and you will begin to look at your life in new ways. You will see possibilities and

potentials instead of obstacles and dead ends.

Part of true happiness and ful�ilment come from your ability to create, to consciously build your

experiences. This is your true power--using your imagination to see a different future for yourself and

then using your faith to hold to that vision and persistently visualize it until it manifests as your experi-

ence.

From your top ten list, there will be some obvious action steps that will stand out. You may de-

cide that teaching a class or taking a class will help you express more of who you are. Maybe beginning

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to write, bake or roller blade. Start living your dreams. You have the desire to express more and this is a

means to do just that. The motivation now will be natural. You will not be dragging yourself out of bed

to do this. There will be a sense of excitement and pleasure from expanding into more of who you are.

In your journal, write down a list of goals with a few objectives as to how to accomplish them.

You won’t be writing down a list of ‘shoulds’ any more, you will be capturing potential outcomes that

you are seeking to express in your life. Inherent in your goal is the means of expressing it.

Your most important job now is to visualize, feeling what it is like to be the new you, living what-

ever outcome you want to see for yourself. Visualization is sitting still for a moment or two daydream-

ing and feeling what it is like to already have this new experience. It is the most important work you can

do. A friend said that for her, it is the equivalent of having your day planned out for you, complete with

angels sweeping the path clear of everything that is not necessary to your growth. It is the act of thank-

ing God for already having that which you desire. This simple habit is the most powerful tool you have

in manifesting the life you can love.

When you conceive of an idea, visualize it as already existing and continue to af�irm and re-af-

�irm this new potential, you have done your half of the co-creating cycle. The Universe, always giving

back to you what you put your attention on, will give you the belief that you can achieve it and provide

the people, events, tools, �inances and information to bring it into reality.

≡ Visualization: New Outcomes

Write ‘visualize’ on the reverse side of your 3 x 5. List under it 2-3 goals you would like to

achieve. Twice each day, visualize each goal as your reality. Remember to feel the emotions of the expe-

rience. For instance, one of your goals may be to write a book. See the �inished book in your minds eye.

Smell the new ink as you turn the pages. Feel its weight. Hear the congratulations from your friends and

family. Feel the delight of being at your own book signing.

Be as speci�ic as possible in your imagining. As you practice, you will begin have thoughts about

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how you can accomplish this goal. You will receive action steps and ideas ‘out of the blue’. (Remember-

-where attention goes, energy �lows.) When the inspiration starts coming in earnest, write it in your

journal. List one goal at the top of the page and write down whatever comes to you beneath it. You will

be amazed at the ease and sensibility of solutions and creative ideas that �low to you when you pay at-

tention in this way. I carry a small notebook with me wherever I go to capture incoming information.

As you change and your experiences change, your goals will change. Make a habit of reviewing

your goals every few months. Are you getting good feedback? Are you still heading in the direction of

growth? More joy? More ful�ilment? More excitement? If not, make the necessary changes and adjust

your goals accordingly. Multiply the actions that bring out your best and diminish the ones that give you

headaches.

Do what you do best. Be you. Once this way of living becomes a habit, you will more easily stay

on course and be con�ident you’re on the right path.

Having a vision and a strategy is half way to its manifestation. When you know where you are

headed, things will fall into place. You will become more intentional, responding rather than reacting

and you will experience a more effortless manifestation of your desires.

Writing your personal mission statement:

Your principles and dreams are the foundation of your mission, of what you are going to do with

your life. They help de�ine you and what you want to achieve. When you combine your mission with a

strategy--you have a mission statement. You state what you intend to achieve and how you are going to

achieve it. A mission statement evolves over time. It serves as a compass. It reminds you of what is really

important and keeps you on track. It keeps you out of the deep, dark woods of drama and ineffective-

ness.

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Answer the following to get started.

1. Who are you? What do you love?

2. To who or what are you dedicated?

3. How do you best help others?

4. What are you doing to keep growing and evolving?

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6. What kind of person would you like to become?

Twenty minute mission:

Write for ten minutes. Don’t stop writing once you start, and don’t edit as you go. Just write a

stream of thought. Refer back to your principles, talents and goals if you get stuck. Write what inspires

you, what you feel you have to offer to the world.

Spend another ten minutes organizing and cleaning up your ideas. You have a working rough

draft that can be edited and tightened up over the next several days.

The goal: To have a written document containing your goals and aspirations and how they are going to

be accomplished. Your mission statement will inspire you and give you con�idence in your abilities to

turn your dreams into reality.

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Janet Koukol
My personal and business mission statement all rolled into one

I am a highly creative, joyful person.

I love helping others realize the potential in their lives.
I love nurturing and teaching those around me.
I love learning and being open-minded.

I intend to be a leader and inspiration for my girls,

and for all girls and women who want to become more than they are right now.

My aim is to help each person I encounter to recognize their innate wisdom,

power and strength and to discover their best possible selves
and transform their lives into
something unique and amazing.

I will continue to learn, take classes, write and strive to be aware and present. I will
practice peace. I continue to exercise and keep my body-mind healthy and happy.
I continue to meditate to center myself and come from joy
and experience �low as often as I can.

My experience and learning will allow me to provide insight and coaching

into the creation of a life that is worth loving, where out of fullness
we give our gifts back into the world.

I am accomplishing this by giving classes, publishing an entire course of instruction,

interviews and public speaking as well as individual coaching sessions.

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6. To everything there is a season:

THINGS COME AND GO

I can’t give you a sure fire formula for success,

but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.
Herbert Swope

One of the Trickster’s primary teachings is that all forms of resistance

are an opportunity to come into right relationship with whatever we’re resisting.
Joan Borysenko, Gordon Dveirin

In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Objects in motion tend to stay in motion.

Isaac Newton

When Things Change

W
hen you change, all things around you will change. It’s basic systems theory, and not everyone

likes it. Some people can be very invested in maintaining the status quo and to them, change is

frightening. Yet change is the only thing that doesn’t change.

Expect some fear and resistance. Expect naysayers. Not everyone will welcome your decision to

grow. In order to avoid discouragement from fear-�illed bystanders, keep your transformation limited to

yourself and a few supportive people. It is easy to criticize something in its infancy. However, the people

who will be full of criticism in the initial stages will be hard pressed to stand in front of your personal

avalanche after it gains some momentum.

Unless a person is truly behind your spiritual and personal growth, they will often do whatever

they can to maintain their comfort zone by getting you to maintain yours. Those closest to you may feel

that you are abandoning them, realizing with fear, that you seem to be �ixing your own problems instead

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of theirs. If you are in a co-dependent relationship, this can be especially hard. Remember that you have

to save yourself �irst. When you are whole, then you can help others without resentment and frustration.

It’s impossible to give what you don’t have.

You will develop the courage and determination that arises with the knowledge of who
Y

you are and where you are going. It will be dif�icult to get blown off course. There is safety in a stream of

positive, joyful, expanding energy. Take refuge in your own power, in your ability to create the life you

can love. In her poem The Journey, Mary Oliver writes about what it takes to change:

One day you finally knew what you had to do and began
though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice--
though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles-
“Mend my life!” each voice cried “Mend my life!”
But you didn’t stop, you knew what you had to do.
Though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundation,
Though their melancholy was terrible.
It was late enough and a wild night and the road already full of fallen branches and stones,
but little by little as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds
and there was a new voice--which you slowly recognized as your own
that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world
determined to do the only thing you could do,
determined to save the only life you could save.

Trusting

I
t has taken years for you to get where you are right now. Coming into your own power is a new skill

set that you are learning. It takes practice. Keep reading your 3 x 5 card, it plants the seeds of who

you want to be �irmly in your consciousness. Visualize as often as you can. See in your mind’s eye the life of

your dreams, keep showing yourself where you want to go. These initial steps are simple yet powerful.

Your subconscious does not know the difference between your actual reality and the images you

create when you visualize. It just accepts the images you feed it and starts manifesting, whether it’s what

you want or not. If you keep visualizing, you will manifest that reality. It has been proven over and over

again by millions of people that ‘if you can see it, and believe it, you can achieve it.’ Watch The Secret, or

pick up any self help book. The Law of Attraction works. What you think about plants the seed for who

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you will become. Learn to work with this Law. Practice. The only way it can fail is if you quit and let the

old vision return. It takes discipline. But what do you have to lose? You have your dream life to gain. You’re

worth it.

Decide to commit 100% now. There is never a good time to have a baby, buy a house or move out

of a nowhere job (or life). Did you know that you never have all the information needed to make a perfect

decision? So what do you do? Do what �ireman do. Respond by making initial decisions based on your gut

and adjust along the way.

Gary Klein wrote a book called Sources of Power, which is one of the classic works on decision

making. In his book Blink,

Blink 1 Malcolm Gladwell references:

“Klein studied nurses, intensive care units, �ire�ighters, and other people who make decisions under pres-

sure, and one of his conclusions is that when experts make decisions, they don’t logically and systemati-

cally compare all available options. That is the way people are taught to make decisions, but in real life

it is much too slow. Klein’s nurses and �ire�ighters would size up a situation almost immediately and act,

drawing on experience and intuition and a kind of rough mental simulation.”

Granted, you are not often in emergency situations such as the ones faced by these people. But far

too often it’s easy to get caught up in paralysis by analysis. Use your experience and trust your gut feelings.

Have the courage to jump in. You can adjust along the way. Just start. Trust that a path will open out before

you. Trust yourself. If you are visualizing your future, then in a way, you know what’s coming up. You’ve

already seen it.

The moment you make the decision to commit, be open to change, and you will see the Universe is

presenting a in�inite array of potential and possibility. Y

Your ability as a human being allows you to con-

sciously choose into which outcome you want to �low your spirit. Inspiration and vision naturally follow. If

there was one thing you could not fail at, what would you do? It’ your life. You can’t fail. You might as well

make it one that you can love.

True happiness is an engaging, meaningful life. It means sails open to the wind, full steam ahead.

You come from a place of trust, watching in anticipation what the Universe presents to you each day --
1
For a brilliant read on decision making see, Malcolm Gladwell’s extraordinary book Blink
(New York:Little, Brown and Company)
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rather the victim mentality of worry and frustration. You choose what you respond to. You are in a position

to act rather than be acted upon. Instead of depression and despair, you use your strengths and talents to

leverage your response. You are effective and responsive when dealing with the challenges of life.

How to Change Your World

You have the thought: “I need more money.”

It’s a desire, but it remains a wish, a thought--it has no power in itself --until you attach an emotion to it.

Emotion is raw power. Your thoughts direct your emotions. Your thoughts tell your subconscious where and how

to channel the power of emotion.

When your thought combines with an emotion, a feeling is generated.

W

Desire + emotion = feeling.

Feelings are the triggers for your subconscious to start creating. Your intensity of feeling tells your subcon-

scious mind how much and what kind of energy to create. (I.e.: a re you coming from a place of fear or a place of

love?) Strong feelings-- lots of energy placed into your desire. It will manifest faster.

Your subconscious mind knows nothing of cars, houses or any other material object, and it goes to work

generating what it does know--feelings. It creates more of the feeling that you are having. In a way, it assumes that

this must be what you want. What you give out, you get back, multiplied. A big surge of chemicals that translate

into a feeling.
Think about the example of “I need more money.” Maybe this is a scary zone, so you attach the emotion of

fear, maybe in the form of insecurity and vulnerability to the thought “I need more money.”

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The desire? I need more…

The emotion? Fear and anxiety.

The feeling = fear, insecurity, vulnerability.

Your subconscious goes to work producing more of what you have--in this case, fear. You will attract more

events and circumstances with money that will bring you the feelings of fear, insecurity, vulnerability. As you sow,

so shall you reap.

Change your thoughts, change your reality. Change what you are sowing--reap a new harvest.

“I need more money.”

Realize that you don’t want or need more fear. Stop the association with the negative emotion by con-

sciously attaching a positive emotion. You can control your emotions.

Decide to replace the emotion of anxiety with happiness. Imagine the feeling of what more than enough

money feels like. Feel what security, contentment feel like. What other positive feelings can you generate? Every

time you feel the old feeling --change it. Use the most powerful tool you have--your imagination, to imagine

something --in this case--something different! This takes discipline because you are so used to the old pattern of

thought--it’s probably automatic.

Obviously, your situation won’t change instantly. But somewhere, out in the Universe and somewhere

deep down in your neural pathways, a new desire has been planted. If you continue to water it, it will grow. Con-

tinue to interrupt the old thought pattern and replace it with a new one. Fake it until you make it. The new habit

will overtake the old pattern.

Your new desire will manifest because you choose to think differently
differently, visualize a new outcome, and af�irm

the new potential until it becomes a belief. Your thoughts about money will change. Your belief about money will

change. Your habits with money will change. Your circumstances, re�lecting your habits, will change, re�lecting a

new relationship with money.

You will be amazed at how quickly the universe responds. It is after all, ful�illing its desire to express more

through you. Everything you need is already present, as soon as you choose to imagine a different outcome, peo-

ple, places, events will appear to support your new intention. Just commit to doing it. Any step in the direction of

growth will be rewarded. Visualization is a discipline. If you do it, it works.

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7. Full Speed Ahead

IN THE BEST POSSIBLE LIGHT

Where your talents and the needs of the world intersect, there is your vocation.
Aristotle

There are many who are living far below their possibilities because they are continually hand-
ing over their individualities to others. Do you want to be a power in the world? Then be
yourself. Be true to the highest within your soul and then allow yourself to be governed by no
customs or conventionalities or arbitrary man-made rules that are not founded on principle.

Ralph Waldo Trine

Your Life’s Work

A
s you start living who you are, your real lifes work begins to present itself. Your life’s work is

more about being than doing. Ideally, you’ll do what you are. You’ll become yourself in the proc-

ess. Whatever work you do should help you unfold, should allow you to express/ develop your highest

self. Your work is a tool. When you have a clear idea of your passions and talents and �ind a way to work

in that area, you will be a better person in all areas of your life. When your work excites you and brings

you joy, you will naturally be of service to others. The by-product of serving others is happiness.

For many women, their personal mission and their life’s’ work are intertwined. You are your

business. When you sell your product or service, you are selling yourself. When your personal philoso-

phy is combined with your business mission, the whole becomes more than the parts. A thriving, living

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business occurs when it is powerfully based on principles that encourage the abundance mentality.

Synchronicity, right action, right people-- your business will seem to grow itself when the focus is on

creating abundance for others by helping them lead better lives.

As women, our nurturing ability gives us an advantage in the new paradigm of �inding a place

in ourselves for the world. This is true abundance thinking. When you believe that there is enough to go

around, you are able to help, mentor and guide others in a spirit of cooperation and relationship build-

ing. The more you can help others improve their lives, the more your own life will �lower. The more you

give, the more you get.

Realize that loving what you do and knowing it makes a difference are far better motivators for

getting yourself out of bed in the morning than the spiritually dead quest for how much money can be

made in a day.

Reaching out, embracing yourself �irst so that you can be complete. Happy in yourself and out of

that fullness you can give to the world. This is the long over-due business model that is based on nurtur-

ing ourselves, our business and our communities.You leave the world a better place than how you found

it.

Your focus on ful�ilment for yourself (and your clients) generates a life that is �illed with joy,

creativity and excitement rather than the win –lose model of bottom lines and material achievements. If

you’re excited about your work and it ful�ils you, you’re going to be a better friend, spouse, artist, writer,

communicator, or business person because you are coming from a place of over�low, of abundance. You

win, your customers win.

≡ Worksheet: Marketplace Mission Statement

Have your personal mission available for reference. Your personal mission and your business

mission just may end up combining themselves. That’s ok. When you’re done, put your mission state-

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ment up where you can see it. Keep a copy of it in your journal and in your daily planner. Review it daily.

It will keep you on track and provide inspiration. Don’t be afraid to tweak it occasionally. As you grow,

expect that it will expand with you.

1. De�ine yourself. I am… (from your 3x5 card) These qualities will also be in your business mission,

because to a great degree, your business re�lects who you are being. How will you express them in your

business? (Great customer service, nurturing qualities, positive in�luence, af�luence, etc.)

2. Who or what is important to you? (Your family, saving the environment, creating things, etc.) This can

be a mix of your principles and talents.

3. Your service to others: (This will mainly be your talents.) How many of these can you incorporate into

your business?

4. Five outcomes you’d like to see directly related to you being in business. (What examples are you

setting, how are you becoming a better person, what effects are you having on the community, what will

you be remembered for, etc.)

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5. How will you accomplish your vision?

6. What are my personal weaknesses? If you are aware of your weakness’ then you can plan for them,

i.e.: choosing to put aside money for someone to do your bookwork so you can concentrate on what you

do best.

≡ Worksheet: Twenty Minutes To A Business Mission

Write about your mission for ten minutes. Don’t stop writing once you start, and don’t edit as

you go. Just write a stream of thought. Refer back to your personal mission, service to others and out-

comes if you get stuck. Write a vision of how you see your business and what a typical day might look

like.

Spend the next ten minutes organizing and cleaning up your ideas. You have a working rough

draft to establish policies and procedures in your business. Stay true to your vision. It is the most impor-

tant tool that your business has.

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The goal: To establish a philosophy that de�ines you and your business. It sets the stage for developing a

strategy on how to get where you want to go consistently and effectively. Your mission is your road map.

It will drive everything you do from decisions for employing, leasing or buying space, and how best to

market your products and services.

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8. The Marketplace
THE WORLD’S YOUR STAGE

Women, when they are old enough to have done with the business of being women, and can
let loose their strength, may be the most powerful creatures in the world.
Isak Dinesen

Setting Goals And Objectives

Y
ou have goals. Now set objectives to achieve them. Goals are things you want; results you want. In

themselves, they are just wishes. To make them a reality, you must set speci�ic, measurable action

steps. Setting objectives will create a powerhouse of actions that will drive you to achieving your goals.

It will clarify your priorities; focus your efforts, time, and money. You will know exactly where you are

headed, how far along you are and when you have achieved your aim. That in itself is a big stress re-

liever.

1. Identify what you want to achieve. Is it something you would enjoy doing? Is it in alignment with your

vision? If yes, then:

2. Write down exactly what you intend to achieve. Include information such as the time line, cost, re-

sources, scheduling, and how you will know you have achieved it. Writing in itself clari�ies your thoughts

and begins the process of manifesting your desire.

3. Take action immediately. List out the �irst thing you can do right now to move towards your outcome.

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Could you make a phone call? Email or check the web for information? List one more action steps that

you can take in the next 24 hours and do it. This will get the ball rolling quickly and give it some momen-

tum. Then each day, according to your time line, take action towards achieving your goal.

≡ Worksheet: Objectives For Beginning Business

Develop objectives to meet your goals: Remember, if no objectives are set, your goals remain in the

realm of ideas. If you strive for the best in customer care, guess what you’re going to create? Phenom-

enal service. Your objectives become self ful�illing prophecies about your business.
Potential prophecies:
Being known for the best customer service ever
Having solid relationships with customers and venders
Working from a dream studio
The happiest staff ever
Fun, creative promotions of product and/or service
Reaching pro�itability as soon as possible
Create professional image through expertly designed logos, web site, phone lines with voice mail, high-

quality marketing materials

You get the idea. Make a wish, then plan its implementation. Goals plus objectives equal power.

List out some of your objectives:

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Determine Your Market

T
he easiest and quickest way to �ind a market is to start with yourself. Be a member of your target

market. Where is a group of people with attitudes, spending habits and needs similar to yours?

What needs or problem does your client have that your skills put you in a perfect position to solve?

When you are a member of your market, your understanding of their needs and wants will help

you in �inding and /or developing a product or service for them. Knowing what your market needs and

enjoys gives you con�idence in delivering that need. Identify a problem and set up a simple business to

deliver the solution.

Start gently pulling it a little further into reality to see if it would be viable. Look in trade magazines. Is

there a product or service like yours already? What could you do to improve on what is already being

done? How excited are you to include this in your life? Is this something someone would buy?

When you have an idea that you think might work, talk to your friends who are motivators and

other people like you to sound it out. Make it a habit not to discuss new ideas with people that bring you

down. At this stage, it is still a dream, and needs support and encouragement. It doesn’t have enough

reality to stand on its own and can be easily shot down by negative comments.

Find Your Niche

F
inding your niche is the same as focusing your market. Pick a narrow market; moms who sky dive

vs. Women who like sports. ‘Men who love to barbeque’ is far more focused and easier to target

than ‘all men’. Find a small group of people with the same characteristics who would bene�it from your

product or service. As you focus your market, your competition shrinks, it becomes less expensive to

reach your customers and easier for you to become an expert in your �ield.

A niche that has similar people in it allows you to spend your time, marketing dollars and sales

efforts on the same type of person, one message communicates with them all. Your marketing materials

and web site are customized speci�ically for your target audience.

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Who Are Your Clients?

C
onjure up your perfect client. What are her or his values and beliefs, decision making style? What

is important to them? What will they value most about you, why do they come to you and not the

competition? Thinking and documenting this draws attention to it and creates more of it in your life.

Work with people who want and appreciate what you are offering, don’t waste time and effort chasing

after those who aren’t even interested. Focus your time and efforts into your most rewarding clients.

Groups and industries that have similar needs to that of your ideal client are also potential

prospects. If you can solve a problem for them, list them and list the entire industry as potential clients.

Groups that share the values of your ideal client are also helpful. Into recycling? PTA? Women’s rights,

pet shelters – do you have a solution they would be willing to pay for? Associate with groups where your

product or service can add value. For instance could you…cater the groups Christmas party, provide

employee gifts, provide artwork for a hospital or hotel, do the bookwork and brochures for your local

dance studio, etc. The possibilities are endless when you get creative and know who you are targeting!

≡ Worksheet: The Perfect Client

Spend ten minutes writing down the characteristics of your perfect client. The time you spend doing this

will save you time and money in the future.

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Anticipate To Delegate

D
rop any urge to be a control freak. When you love what you do and are passionate about it, you

believe that no one can do it better than you can. In the beginning this is probably true. However,

as your business grows, more and more elements will move beyond the simple beginnings and require

more time and effort. A perennial example with creative types is accounts. In the early days, a simple

book keeping system that you can manage is great. Eventually you will be doing bookwork at the ex-

pense of what you do best; creating. From early on create a strategy to have someone else pick up areas

of your business that are not your strengths or that you dislike doing.

Capitalize on what you do best--which is usually something you enjoy doing-- and delegate so that you

can spend your valuable time doing what contributes the greatest value to your business.

Staff

T
rust your staff. Sharing your vision, goals and strategies create a strong sense of ownership. You

want a synergistic work group, where people feel pride, excitement and a sense of achievement.

You will achieve goals more quickly and be motivated working with the combined skills, talents and

resources of your group.

Share your knowledge, vision, strategy, goals and objectives with your staff. Making your staff

part of the process gives everyone involved a sense of ownership. You and your team will achieve goals

more quickly and ef�iciently, and produce creative and innovative ideas and solutions when you can tap

into the combined skills and talents of everyone involved. This is symbiosis- the condition where the

sum becomes more than just the total of its parts. Its value cannot be underestimated.

Let your staff know how much you appreciate them. Be �irst to compliment, �irst to admit if you

have made a mistake, �irst to apologize. Lead by example. Contribute to their lives, help them grow and

become more prosperous. As in all things, you will reap what you sow.

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Conversation Starter Example:

Hi my name is Janet Koukol.

My company is Now into Wow.

I’ve noticed most women I meet aren’t loving their lives. I work exclusively with creative women

who want to transform their lives and would like to turn their passions into businesses.

Some of the questions I ask:

Is your life ful�illing?

Are you happy?

Do you wonder what you are here for?

What is one thing that you would change about your life right now?

What have you found to be the most dif�icult thing about getting your work known?

How do you determine what happens next in your life?

What are you doing to ensure that your life unfolds in the way you would like it to?

Summary:

I think I can help you. I have a course that will guide you through de�ining your purpose, under-

standing your gift and the best way to present that gift to the world. This process gives you your

purpose, mission and a marketing plan.

Not only is it productive, it’s fun. Let me give you a business card.

What would be a good time to meet?

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9. It’s Your Business

DO YOURSELF PROUD

This therefore, is a faded dream of the time when I went down

into the dust and noise of the Eastern Marketplace,
and with my brain and muscles,
with sweat and constant thinking,
made others see my visions coming true.
Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds
wake in the day to find that all was vanity,
but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men,
for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible.
T.E. Lawrence

The simple willingness to improvise is more vital, in the long run, than research.
Rolf Potts, Vagabonding

Self Promotion

T
he �irst promotional piece you need is a conversation starter. When someone asks you “What is it

that you do?” You must start a conversation with them. Quickly and concisely, you must state who

you are, what you do, how you help others, give out your business card and determine what’s next. Tall

order? Not really. Once you have stated your case, all you need to do is relax and let them do most of the

talking while you ask several questions. It’s easy with a bit of practice. The hard part is to stop talking

and listen, getting to know what their problems are, so that you can see if you have a solution.

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≡ Worksheet: Conversation Starter

1. Your name:

2. The name of your company:

3. How your company solves their problem or challenge: (How does what you do impact them? People

don’t want to hear about what you do, they want their problem/challenge solved.)
_

4. Ask at least one question that gets them interested in how what you do can help them. Have several

prepared.

5. After listening, sum up how you can help them speci�ically.

6. Ask for a time to meet, follow up with a phone call- agree to an action

7. Give them a business card or other promotional piece.

This is not a sales pitch. It’s a conversation with a potential friend.

You want to know all about them. Relax and chat.

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10. Beauty In The Eye Of The Beholder

MAKING YOURSELF LOOK GREAT

Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and do them so well
that people can’t take their eyes off you.
Maya Angelou

Present Yourself

Y
ou want to be seen as a class act. Go for quality, not economy. To your clients, the level of quality

in your promotional pieces is perceived to represent the level of the quality of work that you do.

When you have a quality product or service, let it stand on its own merit. People will spend money on

goods and services that they �ind helpful. When you put your heart into what you do and truly have the

customers interest at heart, your offering will be as valuable as possible. It will be excellent and the best

representation of your abilities. Money has a habit of following helpful products and services, not the

other way around.

The most important foundation for pricing your products and services is your belief. You must

believe that what you are selling is far more valuable than the price you are asking. The price must

also re�lect your integrity, excellence and passion. When you speak about what it is that you do, your

language will communicate a message that is congruent with your belief system. If your potential client

perceives that what you are saying meshes with how you are being, they will trust you and your serv-

ices. They will sense the value you place on your offerings and perceive that value as applied to them-

selves through the use of your product or service.

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You can easily justify your price if you believe that in addition to the quality of your offerings,

your follow-up service, customer care, and all the other things that make you different, will blow them

away.

Print And Internet Goals

Y
our marketing pieces; business cards, brochures, postcards, your web site, must all carry the same

message and look cohesive. Marketing pieces have two goals. The passive goal is to generate trust

and con�idence in you and your company, to introduce you to them and to promote awareness of your

brand. When you think of your brand in this way, like how they brand cattle-a mark that is identi�iable

and the same on every cow, you’re on the right trail. Branding is about you, your mark of ownership.

Everything that you do, say or print must have your mark.

That sameness will build trust, con�idence in that you are who you say you are and you can be

expected to act in a certain way that is congruent with your brand. Your brand differentiates you visu-

ally from everyone else. The active goal of marketing is to encour- Business Card
age the viewer to take action (make a phone call, place an order, Components:

download information, etc.)

Logo
Two questions your marketing pieces must answer are: Company Name
1. What is here for me? (I.e.: what does this business have to of- Your Name
Tag Line
fer?)
Contact Information:
(Good food, fair pricing, friendly staff?) Cell
2. How do I get it? Email
Web Address
(Call for information, carry out order, directions to location, a
Physical Address
phone number?)

Trust and con�idence are generated when a valuable prod-

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uct is portrayed honestly and with integrity. Be who you are and let your offerings be what they are.

Don’t settle for cheapening hype or slick sales talk. Present yourself consistently in all media.

This relates back to the core principles. Your brand, when based on unchanging principles and

not the changing whims of the market will have the ability to behave, to be the same in any circum-

stance because of what you believe in-- how you represent yourself is consistent and not dependent on

whims. This does not mean you shouldn’t or can’t change your offering to re�lect the changing market

and its needs. The product or service may change, but the intent behind it does not.

Definition Of Components For Print/Internet

W
orking through the following information will help clarify all the information you will need for

your web site, business cards, and other promotional pieces. It will provide you with a coher-

ent, consistent brand image that will get you noticed. Knowing in general what you want up front will

save you time and money later on design and implementation costs.

Company description:
≡ Worksheet: Write Your Company Description
Write down how your company solves your client’s problem or challenge: (How does what you

do impact them? Don’t tell them what you do, tell them how you solve problem or challenge. Then distil

your information into a short phrase. An example company description phrase: (Your business) pro-

vides the means and / or opportunity for people to (�ill in the blank)

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Logo
Ideally, your company name and logo should re�lect what your company does. As with the

tagline, the closer your logo re�lects what your business does, the less time and effort you will spend

explaining it. Also, does your logo re�lect who you want to attract? Create your logo in keeping with

your market. If your market tends to be young and innovative, make sure your logo is attractive to that

attitude.

Hire a professional to design your logo. Since this is often the �irst encounter people have with

you and your business, it must look professional. You’ll want your logo done in a program like Adobe illus-

trator, as a vector image. Vector images are scalable so they can be reduced to an inch across for your invoices

or blown up for a poster and still retain their clarity. Other pro-
Brochure/Post Card
grams like Adobe Photoshop create bitmap images which distort
Components:
quickly as they increase in size. Your logo should be simple, an im-
Logo
age that is recognizable at an inch across or three feet across. Think
Business Name
about when you drive down the interstate. The McDonalds, Burger Business Type
King, KFC logos stand out for miles – on the smaller highway signs Product/service
Tag Line
as well as the actual store markers. Keep it simple and easily un-
Contact Information:
derstandable. You may never need your logo three feet across, but Cell
Email
if you do, planning for it in the beginning will save time and money
Web Address
later. Physical Address
Go to Elance.com to �ind competitively priced designers. Domain Name
Related Images
Contact two or three of the designers listed and ask to see samples
Explanatory Text
of their work. Alternately, local printers can put you in touch with

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Web Site Components

Logo and Tag Line

(make it obvious and in the same place on every page.)

Business Name
(make it obvious and in the same place on every page.)

Welcome blurb
(only on the home page, concisely states what is your site is about and why your visitor is here and
not somewhere else.)

Product/service description
A brief description--a short paragraph at most.
Avoid making your site visitors scroll down endless pages of text. Very few people will read more
than one to two short paragraphs. Get them to what they need quickly with the least amount of ef-
fort.

Page name
(i.e. the home page, contact page, products page, etc.)

Navigation
(these are the clickable links, how you get to what is here- Home, products, what’s new, newspaper
articles, etc.)

Utilities
(the things that help you use the site, shopping cart, help, maps)

Contact information:
(can be on top of every page. No need to have a separate contact page)
Include phone, cell or 800 number
Email: info @ yourcompanyname.com
Web address: www.yourcompanyname.com
Street address if necessary

Relevant images:
relevant images only. Pictures of your pets, unless relevant to your business, are distracting and
unprofessional. Personal information is also irrelevant. This is a business website, not a scrapbook.
Keep it professional and to the point.

Explanatory text:
Highlight the bene�its you provide to your clients. Highlight what makes you unique and how you
can help them. Keep your text concise, relevant and to the point.

Timely content:
Something needs to be updated frequently to keep your site fresh and dynamic. Ideally you should
have something different or new every month.

A home button
In the same place on every page

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designers. The rule of measure twice, cut once applies here. The more time you spend clarifying exactly what

you want to convey, the less it’s going to cost you. Designers are fantastic creators, not mind readers. Know-

ing clearly what you want to communicate to your market allows them to take your concise information and

transform it into colors, images and attitude that re�lect you and your business successfully. If you can’t

afford to have a professional designer create your logo then think outside the box. Would your product

or service be of help to a designer? Could you trade services? Your product/service for their time? Or is

there a local college nearby where a design student might trade you the logo design for the experience

of designing a logo for a real company? (Your logo would be a great addition to her portfolio too.) Get

creative with the challenges along the way. It’s just an obstacle, not the end. You’ll �ind what it takes to

overcome it.

Positioning statement or tagline:

The tagline is the core message you want to deliver in every communication, verbal or print.

This line sums up your entire business and states why it’s great, why I’m better off with your company

than anyone else. It is the concise de�inition of your purpose in the marketplace; your main bene�it ex-

plainable in one sentence or short phrase.

Don’t confuse the positioning statement with a motto; a motto expresses your guiding principle,

goal, or ideal, a tagline simply states what you can do for your clients. Saving me time or money doesn’t

tell me what you do. So don’t mention it. ‘Save Big Money At Menard’s.’ Great. If that is the only informa-

tion you have about this business, what does it tell you? What kind of store is it? What is their product?

Avoid generic taglines like this. They require huge advertising budgets to educate their clients about

their products and services. IPods ‘1000 songs in your pocket’, tells me exactly what I’m getting. How

about the Rosetta Stone headline--’The fastest way to learn a language guaranteed.’ Nothing to explain

about that tagline. Great taglines are memorable, catchy and self explanatory. The better your tagline,

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the less time and effort you will spend explaining it.

≡ Worksheet: Tagline Development

1. What is your business inspiration? (Think along the lines of your principles and what excites you)

2. What is your business purpose? (What your business does or provides for people)

3. What is your market?

4. What differentiates you?

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5. What is a clear bene�it of your product or service?

Brain starters:

My business is: The ultimate in……

The single best source for…

These tend to be overused, so be careful. Coming up with the endings, however, is a good warm up for

getting the creative ideas �lowing.

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11. Time For The Global Village

THE WORLD WIDE WEB

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves,
“Who am I to be brilliant, or talented, or fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are
a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about
shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as
children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in
some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we inconspicuously give other
people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
Nelson Mandela

Designing Your Web Site

T
he web site is ideally, a project that you would hire someone else to create, someone who enjoys

web site design and is good at it. Web design can be an area full of mystery and frustration to the

uninitiated. If you follow the exercises provided, �igure out what your web site will include and gather

all the relevant information together, you can save yourself hundreds of dollars. Don’t pay a web de-

signer to do work that you can do. Pay the designer for what she does best- design. The more prep work

you can do, the more money you will save. Remember--this may be a trade, barter or college student

opportunity. You won’t know until you make an offer.

If you have decent computer skills and love to learn new things, there are some great web site

builders on line that are fairly easy to work with and have excellent customer support. You could have a

basic site up and running in a couple of hours, provided you have your logo, images and all the informa-

tion from the work sheets at your �ingertips. You will need the couple hours to actually build the site.

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Homestead.com. is one such site builder. Although I have built professional web sites and

understand how it all works, I created my site with Homestead just to see if it could be done without

pulling my hair out. It took several hours and I had questions- all answered quickly by the Homestead

team. It’s worth a try if you enjoy designing and are drag and drop savvy. You don’t have to know HTML

code at all and many elements such as importing graphics and �lash additions are easily explained and

implemented for you. All for round $20 a month for a basic site. Once it’s up, you can easily update it

yourself, which will also save you money until you can afford to delegate this task. You can upgrade to a

storefront as you get large enough to warrant it. Also, Homestead takes care of registering your domain

name (your companyname.com), and will even help you �ind a different one if the exact one you want is

taken. Ditto with your email address (info@ your companyname.com)

If the do-it-yourself doesn’t appeal to you, get all the following information together �irst, then

contact a web designer. Elance.com or your local printer is a good place to start. Don’t approach a

designer without knowing what you need. Have your list of components ready. A basic four page site to

start with: home, company info, product line, testimonials. Discuss the cost of adding a store front with

PayPal when you need it. Which you will, so include it in your overall design discussion.

≡ Worksheet: Basic Web Site 101

A great web site must answer two questions in four seconds:
What is here for me?
How do I get it?
Four seconds because people scan web sites like billboards. If it’s short and information rich, it’s
more likely to be read. Make sure your content is interesting, pertinent and easily accessible. It should
take no more than 2-3 clicks maximum to get anywhere on your site. Organize and prioritize your con-
tent in a way that is obvious and easy to understand.
1. What is the problem you want the web site to help solve? (Do you want it to generate con�idence in

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you and your offerings? Increase sales? Encourage people to down load? Answer questions you are
frequently asked?)

2. Who will it need to communicate with? (Age group, attitude, how do they buy?) How is your site go-
ing to look? Funky and artsy might appeal to artists, designers, organic bakers, or students. Clean and
classic for a dentists, doctors and lawyers?

3. What do you want visitors to your site to take away with them? (Your company is known for…what?)

What lasting impression do you want to make?

12. Blow Your Own Horn!

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COMMUNICATING YOUR WORK TO OTHERS

All courses of action are risky, so prudence is not in avoiding danger (it’s impossible), but
calculating risk and acting decisively. Make mistakes of ambition and not mistakes of sloth.
Develop the strength to do bold things, not the strength to suffer.
Niccolo Machiavelli

(Take the fear out of) Sales Calls

N
ow that everything is in place- you are up and running, you need to know how to make a sales

call. To a gallery, a bookstore, an of�ice, a hospital, a friend. Anywhere you think your services

would be of bene�it. Take the fear out of it. It’s just you, gone large, having the conversation, telling

someone about what you do best. Women are highly skilled in rapport, nurturing and relationship

building. Women are perfectly positioned to help others. Your job is to �ind out where you can help.

Thought provoking questions and an ability to listen are all you need. The rest will come naturally. Just

trust in yourself.

Preparation

T
ake a lesson from the Boy Scouts. Be prepared. As with anything, the better prepared you are, the

easier it’s going to be. The same is true for communicating your ideas with others. The following

steps will take the fear out of presentations and allow your to relax and be fully prepared to have the

conversation.

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Know who you are meeting:

Do they have web site? If yes, you can easily �ind out the following: What are their goals? Who

are their customers? Where are they located? Would their products and services be complemented by

your offerings?

Get ready before you start. You only have one shot at it make it your best. Target 1-10 places and de�ine

in writing what you want to accomplish and what it will take to get what you want. Identify whomever

will be making the decision to work with you by name (the leader, owner, manager, the CEO) and get as

much information as you can about them and the company they work for.

Set meeting goals. Don’t go in without a plan:

1. Understand their business and industry.
2. Have a sense of how you can help this person; your presentation should highlight your value to them.
3. Decide what the next step should be. A longer meeting? Beginning work on a project?

Prepare presentation checklist:

� Business card
� Articles that you have written
� Brochures or �lyers
� Anything that shows you are an expert in achieving the result that they need
� If applicable, a marketing sheet with photos of people wearing, using, owning your product
� Have a brief, concise written proposal in hand that states how you and your company can bene�it

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them/address their needs/solve their problem

� Have a list of questions and answers about their speci�ic challenges
� Have samples if at all possible, and if what you do lends itself to samples
� Dress well

When you arrive:

If possible, stand to give your presentation, even if it is a brief introduction-- such as your con-

versation starter. Standing grabs peoples attention and is an easy way to build con�idence in you and

your product. In a study at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, it gives you a 21%

higher close rate than being seated. Also, customers were willing to pay 26% more for product or serv-

ice that is sold to them by someone standing versus seated (Research from University of Minnesota)

Come across as the expert you are, someone who knows what she is doing. You may be nervous

about the presentation, but if you have done your homework, you won’t be nervous about you or your

product. You will know your capability. If you believe that you are the best provider of what you are sell-

ing, it will come across in your presentation. Your desire to help and to make their life better will make

it through the nervousness.

1. After a brief introduction (your conversation starter) You can sit down and get to know them. Let

them talk.

2. Determine their needs by asking relevant questions about their challenges and problems.

3. State how you intend to bene�it them

4. Have credibility builders: testimonials, articles, exhibitions, anything that puts you on the map.

5. Answer their questions.

8. Present your proposal. Ask for their business.

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Follow up with a thank you card. Include your business card and thank them for their time and

hospitality. Add them to your contact list and send them something quarterly. Newspaper articles, gal-

lery showings, published writings, something new that you are offering, anything pertinent. Send them

referrals. Just keep the communication lines open.

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13. What’s The Story?

WHY YOU DO WHAT YOU DO

We tell stories to describe ourselves not only so others can understand who we are but also so
we can understand ourselves. Telling our stories allows us to compile our personal mythology,
and the collection of stories we have compiled is to some extent who we are, what we have to
say to the world, and tells the world the state of our mental health.

Roger Schank

Happiness lies not in the mere possession of money;

it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

My Story

Ultimately, your product, however good it may be, is less important than your story. As human

beings we connect through our stories, the tales we tell of who we are, how we got to be this way and

where we are heading. So as �inal step, a graduation present to yourself, write your story.

Put together your own personal mythology: create your identity.

You have the power to change your world. Tell your story.

I do what I do because I wanted to be powerful. I needed to get out of victim role and become a

force of change in the world. I got sick of sitting back and watching my life go by, powerless to change

any of the things that were ‘happening’ to me. I knew that I was ‘supposed’ to be a teacher. I knew all

about the Law of Attraction, I knew that all things would change when I did--I had known this stuff for

years. I didn’t live any of it, and I certainly didn’t feel quali�ied to teach any of it. I was always on the

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lookout for the next book, the next piece of information that would put it all together for me. Then I

would be ready. Then, I would teach.

I �inally realized that if I didn’t do something, nothing would ever change. So in the midst of �i-

nancial dif�iculties, no B.A. degree, a co-dependent marriage and the challenge and desire to be an inspira-

tion to my teenage girls, I decided to become the change I wanted to see. I wanted to leave a legacy for my

girls, a way to cope with a changing world. I knew that there was a better way, that the world has great joy

and moments of heaven too, not just fear and frustration.

I believe that we are meant to live abundantly and I wanted my girls to know this. So I started

to write a course, one that I needed to take, to help lift me from my powerless, depressed, just making it

through another day existence, to the life I believe we are all meant to live- a life full of potential and pos-

sibilities.

I started small, writing down af�irmations and the principles that I wanted to manifest. Independ-

ence, power, freedom, health and success were the principles I wrote on my �irst 3x5 card. I had a friend

who always carried 3x5’s with him- a hold-over from college note taking- and I bummed a 3x5 and off I

went. I read it religiously twice a day, sometimes more when I felt like nothing was happening and no one

was listening. I aimed for a month because I knew it took 21 days to form a new habit. Slowly, I began to

change. Something deep inside me was responding.

I made friends that to this day are incredible sources of wisdom and strength to me. Their support

has been crucial--they were sent from heaven. I could not have made it without them.

I found that Jesus’ view of God as ‘Father’, ‘Daddy’ was true for me too. There were days that were

black and something would happen that let me know that I was being guided and loved by something that

seemed to know exactly what I needed at exactly the moment when everything seemed darkest. As I began

trusting and expecting these experiences, subtle yet incredible synchronicities became a normal part of my

days.

Over the course of a year, Now into Wow formed itself, I lived the exercises as I wrote them - they

seemed the next logical progression as I was moved along. Some days I felt successful. Most days, as Sally

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Hogshead wrote beautifully--’I felt I just wrestled failure to the ground until it said ‘uncle’.

The Course took on a life of its own as it became ‘real’. I was making no money, yet putting in

hours of research and writing. That caused relationship stresses. Many days I almost thought about

giving up. But I knew in my heart that this was part of my gift, the beginning step for me. I looked at my

girls and kept going.

I am there now- most days are Wow! days for me, I truly love my life and my possibilities are

endless. Of course the real change is internal, I have power, self-esteem, boundaries and a sense of deep

joy that is always present in the background when I stop and listen for it. I feel connected and centered

and feel in control of my life for the �irst time. I see possibilities and adventure where I used to see de-

pression and dead ends. More than not, my life �lows.

I am having ‘Wow” days, not because I live in denial, on an arti�icial high with a perma-grin, but

because I have become adept at being aware that I need to take care of myself. In the way that an athlete

or musician puts priority on practicing to keep themselves at peak performance, I schedule plenty of

solitude, meditation and physical exercise into my days so that I have a resevoir of energy to do my work

of uplifting, counselling and cheerleading. I have learned from hard experience that when I do not take

care of myself �irst, I have precious little to give to others. It took me years to learn that I cannot give

what I don’t have.

I no longer exhaust myself to the point of despair and depression. As I set my direction and in-

tention, I learned how to say no to things that weren’t on my course and how to say ‘yes’ to those things

that gave me joy and energy. It wasn’t always easy, but I never lacked for motivation once I committed to

going through with the writing of the course.

I believe our deepest happiness and ful�ilment comes from our service to others. By focusing on

creating a connection to joy (bliss or �low) in my own life, I come from a place of love with more than

enough energy and joy to �low to others. As you sow, so shall you reap. I sowed joy into my own life and

am reaping a harvest that has me some days in tears- of joy-- at the sheer richness and abundance that

is my life. Sharing how to create a life worth loving is what gets me out of bed. It’s what I love to do.

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I am thankful that I didn’t give up, that I stuck it through. I followed my deepest desire, my bliss.

I am on the path to ful�illing my destiny and being and therefore, giving the world the best that I have.

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≡ Worksheet: Telling Your Story

1. Who is the story about? (Is it yourself, your family? Your community? Who are the main players?)

Describe these people so the audience can ‘see’ who they are.

2. What does your audience identify with? What is it about your story that everyone understands?

(Are you a single mom, a overworked teacher, unrecognized employee, building homes for homeless?)

What connects you and your audience on a emotional/feeling level?

3. What are the obstacles you faced on the way to where you are? What did you have to overcome to get

to here?

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4. Were there people around you that felt you should not achieve your goal? Or felt that it should come

about differently? What was your biggest con�lict?

5. What’s the point? You must have a reason for telling your story. What is the clear message people will

have when they hear your story? (‘If she can do that-so can I!’, ‘ I too can overcome my obstacles and

reach my dreams.’, ‘That’s a good story- I want to help!’)

Write your story from your heart - but keep it to the point, with relevant details that allow the audience

to emotionally connect with you. Your audience is anyone who hears your story: a friend, employer,

co-worker, staff, grandchildren, children, support group, a pet. Honor your story by telling it. Start to

change your world.

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