3

Nonverbal Communication

Teacher:
I've been a teacher for ten years and I can always tell when students don't
know an answer in class discussion. They either look down at their
notes, stare out the window, or fix their shoelaces — but they never look

me in the eye.

College Student:
Mary says she likes me, but I don't know how she really feels about me.
We've gone out three times and she rarely laughs at my jokes or smiles at
me. She always looks bored when I talk to her.

Customer:
Jane was at the store trying to decide which television set to buy. A loud,
overeager salesman approached her, waved his hands in her face, and
nearly stood on her feet. She became so uncomfortable that she left the
shop.

[A] Language studies traditionally have emphasized verbal and written

language, but recently have begun to consider communication that takes
place without words. In some types of communication people express
more nonverbally than verbally. If you ask an obviously depressed
5 person, "What's wrong?", and he answers, "Nothing, I'm fine," you
probably won't believe him. When an angry person says, "Let's forget
this subject, I don't want to talk about it any more!" you know that he
hasn't stopped communicating. His silence and withdrawal continue to
convey emotional meaning.

[B] One study done in the

United States showed that in the communica-
tion of attitudes, 93 percent of the message was transmitted by the tone of
the voice and by facial expressions, whereas only 7 percent of the
speaker's attitude was transmitted by words.1 Apparently, we express 5
our emotions and attitudes more nonverbally than verbally.

43
44 Nonverbal Communication

Cultural Differences in Nonverbal Communication

[C] Nonverbal communication expresses meaning or feeling without

words. Universal emotions, such as happiness, fear, and sadness, are
expressed in a similar nonverbal way throughout the world. There are,
however, nonverbal differences across cultures that may be a source of
5 confusion for foreigners. For example, feelings of friendship exist every-,
where but their expression varies. It may be acceptable in some countries
for men to embrace each other and for women to hold hands; in other
countries these displays of affection may be shocking.

[D] What is acceptable in one culture may be completely unacceptable in

another. One culture may determine that snapping fingers to call a waiter
is appropriate; another may consider this gesture rude. We are often not
aware of how gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, and the use of 5
space affect communication. In order to correctly interpret another cul-
ture's style of communication, it is necessary to study the "silent lan-
guage" of that culture.

Gestures

[E] Gestures refer to specific body movements that carry meaning. Hands
can form shapes that convey many meanings: "That's expensive," "Come
here," "Go away," and "It's OK" can be expressed nonverbally using only
hands. The gestures for these phrases may differ among languages. 5 As
children we imitate and learn these nonverbal movements and often use
them to accompany or replace words. When traveling to another country,
foreign visitors soon learn that not all gestures are universal.
 The "OK" gesture in the American culture is a symbol for money in
J a pa n . T h e s a m e g e s tu r e i s o bscen e i n s o m e L a t in A m e ri c a n c o u n t ri e s.
10 ( Th is is wh y th e edito rs of a Latin Am er ican n ewspap er enjo yed
pu blishing a picture of former President Nixon giving the OK symbol
with both hands!)

Facial Expressions

[F] Facial expressions carry meaning determined by contexts and rela-

tionships. For instance, the smile, which is typically an expression of
pleasure, has many functions. A woman's smile at a policeman who is
about to give her a ticket does not carry the same meaning as the smile 5
she gives to a young child. A smile may show affection, convey polite-
ness, or disguise true feelings. Pain is conveyed by a grimace, which also
signifies disgu st or disapproval Surprise, shock, or disbelief can be shown
by raising the eyebrows. A wink given to a friend may mean "You and I have
a secret" or "I'm just kidding." Between a man and a woman, a 10 wink can
be flirtatious. Our faces easily reveal emotions and attitudes.
[G] The degree of facial expressiveness also varies among individuals
and cultures. The fact that members of one culture do not express their
.
4 5
46 Nonverbal Communication

emotions as openly as members of another does not mean they do not

experience emotions. Rather, there are cultural restraints on the amount
of nonverbal expressiveness permitted. Given individual differences,it
is difficult to make generalizations about a cultural style of communica-
tion. Americans express themselves facially in varying degrees. People
from certain ethnic backgrounds in the United States may use their hands,
bodies, and faces more than other Americans. There are no fixed rules,
10 although it is considered negative or suspicious to have a "deadpan"
expression or a "poker face." Some people can be "read like a book";
others are difficult to read.

Eye Contact

[H] Eye contact is important because insufficient or excessive eye contact

may create communication barriers. It is important in relationships because
it serves to show intimacy, attention, and influence. As with facial
expressions, there are no specific rules governing eye behavior except 5
that it is considered rude to stare, especially at strangers. It is, however,
common for two strangers to walk toward each other, make eye contact,
smile and perhaps even say "Hi." The strangers may immediately look
away and forget that they even had any contact. This type of glance does not
mean much; it is simply a way of acknowledging another person's 10
presence. In a conversation too little eye contact may be seen negatively
because it conveys lack of interest, inattention, or even mistrust. The
relationship between mistrust and lack of eye contact is stated directly in the
expression, "Never trust a person who can't look you in the eyes."

Space

[I] Unconsciously, we all carry with us what have been called "body
bubbles." These bubbles are like inv i sible walls which define our personal
space. The amount of space changes depending on the interpersonal
relationship. For example, we are usually more comfortable 5 standing
closer to family members than to strangers. Personality also determines
the size of this space. Introve rts often prefer to interact with others at a
greater distance than extroverts. Cultural styles are important too. A
Japanese employer and employee usually stand farther apart while talking
than their American counterparts. Latin Americans and Arabs
10 tend to stand closer together than Americans when talking.
 [J] For Americans, distance in social conversation is about an arm's
length to four feet. Less space in the American culture may be associated with
greater intimacy or aggressive behavior. The common practice of saying
"Excuse me," or "Pardon me" for the slightest accidental touching 5 of
another person reveals an American attitude about personal space. Thus
when a person's "space" is intruded upon by someone, he or she may feel
threatened and react defensively. In cultures where close physical contact is
acceptable and desirable, Americans may be perceived as cold and distant.

* * * * *

[K] Culture does not always determine the messages that our body
movements convey. Contexts, personalities, and relationships also in-
fluence them. Therefore, no two people in any one society have the same
nonverbal behavior. However, like verbal language, nonverbal 5
communication cannot be completely separated from culture. Whether we
emphasize differences or similarities, the "silent language" is much louder
than it first appears.

47
48 Nonverbal Communication

Comprehension Questions*

Choose the best answer for the following questions. You will find the
answer stated either directly or indirectly in the reading passage.

1. The introductory examples (Teacher, College Student, and Customer)

are meant to show:
a. How words don't mean anything at all.
b. How students, shy college students, and eager salesmen are poor
communicators.
c. How people interpret nonverbal communication.

2. What would be a good alternative title for this reading?

a. The Speaking Hands b.
The Silent Language
c. Body Bubbles

3. Four categories of nonverbal communication mentioned are:

a. The face, the eyes, the body, and the fingers.
b. Behavior, intimacy, aggression, and attention.
c. Gestures, facial expression, eye contact, and space.

4. In paragraph E, it is stated that:

a. American nonverbal communication is superior to nonverbal
comunication in other cultures.
b. We cannot communicate with oral language.
c. Some gestures are not universal.

5. The picture of Nixon's "OK" gesture was published in a Latin Amer

ican newspaper because: [E]
a. Nixon is obscene.
b. It humorously showed cultural differences in nonverbal com-
munication.
c. Political leaders use nonverbal communication frequently.

6. A smile between a boyfriend and a girlfriend differs from a smile

between an angry employee and his boss. This example, like the one in
paragraph F, illustrates:
a. Multiple functions of facial expressions.
b. The universality of the smile.
c. Disharmony at work.

*The capital letter in brackets refers to the corresponding paragraph in the reading.
 Nonverbal Communication 49

7. The expression, "You can read her face like a book," means: [G]
a. She is a difficult person to understand.
b. She speaks with words.
c. She shows her feelings and emotions.
8. Why might it be inappropriate to stare at strangers? [H]
a. Staring can be an invasion of psychological privacy.
b. Staring is rude in any situation all over the world.
c. Staring can give one person too much power over another.

9. Body bubbles: [I]

a. Are permanent.
b. Vary with personalities, relationships, and situations, c.
Are influenced only by culture.
10. When an American accidentally touches or bumps into another
person, he or she may say: [J]
a. "Pardon me" or "Excuse me."
b. "Excuse me for popping your body bubble."
c. "I'm sorry I did not see the invisible wall around you."
11. The authors imply throughout the reading that the "silent
language":
a. Cannot be learned.
b. Is less important than the verbal language.
c. Should be a part of language training.

Vocabulary List

Paragraph A Paragraph B Paragraph C Paragraph D

emphasized transmitted universal snapping

withdrawal-
confusion gesture
embrace
affection
*shocking

Paragraph E Paragraph E ParagraphG Paragraph H

imitate disguise restraints insufficient
accompany

*grimace
*ethnic
exc e s si v e
obscene

*acknowledging

disgust
mistrust

* background
barriers
*wink
intimacy
*flirtatious

*See vocabulary exercise D.

50 Nonverbal Communication

Paragraph I Paragraph J Paragraph K

invisible associated (no new words)

introverts accidental
extroverts intruded
counterparts
threatened
defensively

Phrases and Expressions

I'm just kidding. [F]
to have a deadpan expression [G]
to have a poker face [G]
to read someone's face like a book [G]
Never trust a person who can't look you in the eye. [H]

Vocabulary Exercises*

A. Choose the appropriate synonym (or the word closest in meaning) from
Synonyms the list and rewrite each sentence, replacing the italicized word. Change
tense, singular and plural, and part of speech when necessary.
hug love backing away
went with stressed click
indecent copied global
• send

1. The student emphasized his ideas by speaking more loudly. [A]

2. His withdrawal from the group showed his dislike of the members in
it. [A]

3. The message was transmitted by radio. [B]

4. Handshaking is not a universal gesture in introductions. [C]
5. The two cousins embraced each other when they met at the air
port. [C]

6. Affection can be shown emotionally and physically. [C]

7. The dancer was snapping her fingers while she swirled in the air. [D]

8. Children learn gestures when they imitate their parents' move

ments. [E]

9. Did you accompany your younger brother to the movies last

night? [E]

10. The young boy was punished for collecting obscene pictures. [E]

*The capital letter in brackets refers to the corresponding paragraph in the reading.
 Nonverbal Communication 51

B. Choose the word that best defines the italicized word.

Multiple 1. The sad clown tried to disguise his feelings by wearing a big
Choice smile. [F]
a. discover c. hide
b. expose d. resist
2. He showed his disgust for the movie by leaving in the
middle. [F]
a. enchantment c. dislike
b. approval d. appreciation
3. The majority of citizens disagreed with the political restraints that the
government placed on them. [G]
a. rights c. elections
b. limitations d. freedom
4. Insufficient knowledge in his work caused him many problems on the
job. [H]
a. not enough c. inappropriate
b. incorrect d. too much
5. Excessive spending may result in a bank's closing your
account. [H]
a. thrifty c. careful
b. exclusive d. extravagant
6. When there are barriers between two people, it is difficult for them to
communicate. [H]
a. fights c. obstacles
b. points d. words
7. It takes time to build emotional intimacy. [H]
a. privacy c. expression
b. closeness d. sanity
8. She showed her mistrust of doctors by ignoring her physician's
advice. [H]
a. love c. loyalty
b. disease d. distrust

C. First choose the correct word for the definitions. Then fill in the blanks in
Definitions the sentences following the definitions. Note: You may have to change the
g r ammatical form of the word used in the sentence.
invisible [I] counterparts [I] intruded [J]
introvers [I] associated [J] . threatened [J]
extroverts [I] accidental [] defensively [J]
52 Nonverbal Communication

1. expressed an intention of hurting or punishing _________________

The teacher's_______________ didn't mean anything; he never
did anything about them.

2. shy, inward people _______________

The_______________ young woman was not hired by the public
relations firm.

3. connected _______________
The retired professor was _______________ with the university
for twenty years.

4. forced oneself on others without being asked or welcome

__________
The_______________ sensed that he was not wanted at the party.

5. happening by chance ______________

The car _______________ hit the tree.

6. active and expressive people _______________

Do you have to be an ______________ to be a comedian?

7. unable to be seen ______________

In some religious schools children are taught that God is

8. people or things that correspond to others in form and function;

equivalents _______________
The dean of the sociology department felt that his
_______________ on other campuses were not doing their jobs
well.

9. in a manner of feeling attacked and justifying quickly ____________

It is difficult to communicate with people who have
_______________ attitudes.
 Nonverbal Communication 53

D. Match the words on the left with their definitions on the right. Place the
Matching letter of the definition in the space next to the word.
confusion _ __ a. scowl; look of disgust
shocking ____ b. movement of the body or part of the body,
especially the hands
gesture_______ c. showing awareness or recognition of
grimace d. showing sexual or romantic interest
wink e. pertaining to a minority or national group
that is part of a larger community (e.g.,
flirtatious ____ Blacks or Chinese Americans in the U. S.)
ethnic ____ f. disorder; chaos
backgrounds _ g. appalling; very surprising
h. closing and opening of one eye
acknowledging_ i. environments; surroundings; origins

Conversational Activities
A. The following are some of the more common gestures in American
Gestures English. These are specific movements that are made with hands, arms,
and shoulders; each movement has a specific meaning. Demonstrate and practice
them in class.

Form Common Possible Meaning

OK
54 Nonverbal Communication

Form Common Possible Meaning

Good luck; I hope it works out.

Don't ask me; I don't know.

I didn't hear you; I can't hear you

Cut; that's enough; stop or it's all

over for me
 Nonverbal Communication 55

Form Common Possible Meaning

Oh, I forgot!;
Don't tell me (surprised)

Wait a second;
Slow down;
Relax

Come here

Note: Ask your teacher to demonstrate gestures that convey boredom, excessive
talking and money.

Follow-up: Which, if any, of these gestures are different from gestures in

your language? In what situations do you use gestures? Are there some
gestures you shouldn't use with certain people?
56 Nonverbal Communication

Activity: Act out the following situations, practicing the gestures listed
above and those demonstrated by your teacher.

You can't hear your friend's voice.

You want a child to come to your side.
Your friend has just walked into the class to take an important
examination. Wish him or her good luck.
Somebody has asked you a question and you don't know the answer.
You want to tell your friend that the lecture is boring.
You signal to your friend that the person on the phone is talking too
much.
You are ready to enter the restaurant when you notice that a simple
dinner costs almost $25.00.

B. Pantomine ideas and emotions to the rest of the class. Think of sentences
Charades or phrases to illustrate nonverbally. For example:

I'm mad! This is delicious!

Your baby is beautiful!
Please leave.

Write down your ideas, feelings, and expressions and give them to other
class members to act out, or act them out yourself. Do not use any words.
See if the other class members can guess the meanings.

C. Nonverbal cues or behavior can carry negative meaning in certain Nonverbal

situations and in others, positive meaning. For instance, when a father Cues stares at
his son who has just received an F (fail) on an exam, the father's stare conveys something
negative. However, when a painter stares at a model who is about to be painted, the
painter's stare does not have a negative meaning. In this exercise, indicate whether
you feel the nonverbal cues listed are negative or positive. There are four possible
relationships given for each one.

Directions: Place a (+) in the blanks in which the nonverbal cue is

positive and a (—) in the blanks in which the cue is negative. Place a (+)
 Nonverbal Communication 57

and a (—) if you feel the cue can be either. Leave empty if you have no
reaction or feel that the cue is neutral.

+ = positive — = negative At a party (first

In the classroom meeting)
student teacher man woman
teacher
Example: yawning
student
4 4
no eye contact hands on hips woman man
prolonged silence nodding
leaning forward impassive fare
leaning away crossing arms

sitting close smiling

Discuss: Compare your responses with those of the other class members.
Were any cues positive in one situation and negative in another? Were
any neutral? Did you disagree with the other class members? If so, why?

D. In pairs (if possible, with two people from the same culture*) write a Role-
Plays dialogue in your own language and in English using the following situation.
First perform the dialogue in front of the class in your own language. Then
perform the same scene in English. The class members will comment on the
nonverbal behavior they observe in both scenes.

*Note: If class members are from one culture, role-play different situations (e.g.,
meeting a friend at a party, making a date, returning a bad product to a store
manager).
58 Nonverbal Communication

In an office:
student desk two
teacher chairs

The student is entering his or her professor's office to discuss a problem.

After a short conversation, the student leaves the office.

Discuss: Did you feel or observe any nonverbal differences when lan-
guages were changed? Were you more comfortable in one language than
in another? Do your body movements change when you are speaking a
foreign language? If so, how?

E. The purpose of this activity is to develop observational skills and to

Observation discuss nonverbal communication.
Task Directions: Work in pairs or in groups of three or four. Observe people's
gestures, touching, eye contact, and their use of space. Record your
observations in the spaces provided. After the observation, meet with
class members and discuss the follow-up questions.

Some recommended areas where you can make observations are:

school cafeteria coffee shops
outdoor seating areas book store
bus stops classrooms
library elevators

Space:

during greetings and farewells:

between men and women (sitting and standing):

 Nonverbal Communication 59

between men and women (sitting and standing):

between members of the same sex (sitting and standing):

between friends; between strangers:

Eye Contact and Touching:

during greetings and farewells:

between men and women engaged in conversations:

between members of the same sex:

60 Nonverbal Communication

between strangers approaching each other (specifically eye contact):

Gestures: (hand and facial)

during greetings and farewells:

between men and women:

between members of the same sex:

between strangers:

Follow-up:

1. How close to each other do people stand or sit?

2. How much touching takes place?
3. What do you notice about eye behavior?
4. What gestures do people use?
 Nonverbal Communication 61

5. Can you tell when a conversation is going to end? How?

6. What are the feelings between two people talking? How does each
show interest in the other person?
7. Can you interpret the social relationships between two people
talking (e.g., close friends, students, teacher-student, boyfriend-
girlfriend)?

F. There are several ways of making observations. One way is simply to

Nonverbal describe what you see. Another way is to give an opinion
Communi- or make a judgment about your observation. For example:
cation:
Description Men do not maintain frequent eye contact with each other.
and Opinion (Description)
Men do not seem to feel close to each other. (Opinion)

After each one of the following statements, check either description or

opinion depending on the type of observation made.

Description Opinion

1. The woman was aggressive because

she stood close to the man.

2. The two men embraced each other two

times before leaving.

3. The woman stood three feet from

the man.

4. They are superficial because they

smile at each other even though they
are strangers.

5. Their farewell was cold because

they didn't touch each other.

6. The two women walked arm-in-arm

for an hour.

7. Because fathers and sons do not

hug, they do not love each other.

8. The teacher did not stand near the

children.
62 Nonverbal Communication

Questions to think about:

In the Observation Task activity (E), what kind of observations did you
make: descriptive or judgmental (i.e. based on opinion)? What, if any,
might be the problem with opinionated or judgmental observations in a
foreign culture? Is it possible to make purely descriptive observations?

G. The following questions are intended to stimulate cross-cultural discus-

Multiple sion and to help you become familiar with American customs and re-
Choice sponses. On the multiple choice questions try to guess what an American
Questionnaire would do. More than one answer may be correct.

1. Signaling a waiter is done by:

In your country: _________________________________________________

In the United States:
a. Snapping the fingers.
b. Whistling.
c. Raising one hand briefly.
d. Saying, "Waiter" and signaling to him.

2. How do people politely end conversations nonverbally?

In your country: _____________________________________

In the United States:
a. They look at their watches.
b. They look away from the speaker.
c. They backup slowly.
d. They stop talking abruptly.

3. The best way to get a teacher's attention is to:

In your country: ___________________________

In the United States:
a. Snap your fingers.
b. Raise your hand until the teacher calls on you.
c. Raise a hand and lower it when the teacher notices that you have a
question.
d. Call out the teacher's name.
 Nonverbal Communication 63

4. Nonverbally, how would you get the attention of a busy secretary in

an office?

In your country: _________________________________________________

In the United States:
a. Stand by the door and wait until the secretary looks at you.
b. Stand close to the secretary until you are noticed.
c. Sit down near the secretary and remain silent until you are
noticed.
d. Tap the secretary on the shoulder.

5. If a student does not understand a point that a teacher makes in class,

it is best to:

In your country: _________________________________________________

In the United States:
a. Raise a hand and ask for clarification.
b. Look confused.
c. Remain silent and ask the teacher after class.
d. Leave the class.

6. How do you motion to a person nonverbally to come to you?

In your country: _________________________________________________

In the United States:
a. Extend both arms in front of you and wave the person over with
your palms up.
b. Roll your eyes in the direction you want the person to come.
c. Extend one arm in front of you and wave the person over with
your palm up.
d. Extend one arm in front of you and wave the person over with
your palm down.

H. Answer the following questions about your own culture and then dis-
Cross- cuss intercultural similarities and differences. Cultural
Questions 1. Do you recall from your childhood how you learned aspects of non-
verbal language (space, gestures, etc.)?
64 Nonverbal Communication

2. Are there any expressions or proverbs in your language that say

something about nonverbal communication?

3. What kind of impressions do people form of one another based on

nonverbal behavior (e.g., "I don't trust him because he stares at
people.")?

4. What should a foreigner learn about nonverbal communication in

your country before going there?

Cultural Notes

1. Because the United States is a nation of many minority groups (Blacks,

Mexicans, Chinese, Italians, Jews, Japanese, Koreans, Arabs, Viet
namese, etc.), it is difficult to make generalizations about American
nonverbal communication. For example, touching behavior among
Mexican-Americans differs from that of Anglo-Americans. For the
Anglo-American, touching is more restricted. The Anglo-American male
rarely touches or embraces other males. Distance is usually greater
between men in the Anglo-American culture than between men in the
Mexican-American culture.

2. Edward Hall, in his book The Hidden Dimension, discusses four cate
gories of informal use of space among white professional-class Amer
icans:2
For intimate friends From actual physical contact
to 18 inches
For friends and personal conversation 18 inches to 4 feet
For impersonal conversation 4 feet to 12 feet
For public speaking 12 feet or more

3. During the "farewell" stage of a conversation Americans will often

move gradually away from each other and decrease eye contact. This, of
course, is not a rule but it does happen.

For example:
"It was nice meeting you." (at 1 foot apart) "Hope to
see you again sometime." (at 6 feet apart) "Take
care." (at 15 feet apart)
 Nonverbal Communication 65

Supplementary Vocabulary
to move to whistle to retreat
to make contact to mumble to withdraw
to back away to recline attraction
to yawn to advance posture
to sigh