Financial Planning as a Couple

Rather than seeing the goal of a new marriage as the accumulation of things, couples need to build a strong team
relationship and seek God first. Jesus talked about the desire to accumulate things and about worries over money.
In Matthew 6:33, He advised: “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added
to you.”

Rather than being owners of all we hold, we are more accurately “renters” in this world — caretakers of what God
has given us. “We brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world” (1 Timothy 6:7).
Once couples accept that God owns everything and they have simply been chosen to be stewards or managers of His
property, then it’s important for them to manage according to His principles and standards. How we faithfully
manage what He has given us will determine whether He will give us greater things to manage. “Well done, good
and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master”
(Matthew 25:23).

The biblical concept of stewardship begins with understanding that we will be judged by how well we take care of
our resources, including the people in our lives. Here are some important truths to keep in mind as you consider how
to become better stewards:

Think ahead to avoid problems. “Which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost,
whether he has enough to complete it?” (Luke 14:28). Too often, couples put off planning until they are so deeply in
debt that it seems impossible to get out. That’s not planning; it’s reacting. Couples need to begin planning by writing
down their goals and objectives, which should include a balanced budget, and these goals and objectives need to be
reviewed yearly. One of the first goals includes avoiding financial bondage by staying out of additional debt and
committing to paying off existing debt. This doesn’t necessarily mean that a couple should never borrow money, but
borrowing to buy consumables, such as gifts, vacations and clothes, should be avoided. This type of borrowing will
put a couple back into insurmountable debt faster than they can pay themselves out of it.

Keep good records. “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are
filled with all precious and pleasant riches” (Proverbs 24:3-4). It is impossible for couples to have their finances under
control unless they understand the basics of good record keeping. Recently it was discovered that fewer than two
out of 10 couples know how to actually balance their bank accounts. This means that many married couples seldom
know how much money they have to spend or how much they are spending. Couples should work together to
develop their financial plans, but there should be only one bookkeeper in the home who pays the bills. Two
bookkeepers tend to invite disaster.

Get educated. “The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps” (Proverbs 14:15). Most
financially naive couples are not stupid regarding money; they are just uninformed regarding how borrowing and
interest rates work. As a result, their primary concern becomes “How much are the monthly payments?” rather than
“How much is this going to cost ultimately?” In addition, naive people often borrow more money than they can repay
because they have no budget. In essence, they have no idea where their money goes each month or how much credit
their income can support. Couples need to learn financial management and budgeting principles and use that
information to avoid debt or financial problems. Crown Financial Ministries has many tools to help create budgets,
plan retirement and consider the true cost of your plans so they can be fulfilled.

God has special purposes for every couple: to bring joy to the husband and wife and to create a team that can achieve
more together than the individuals could accomplish on their own. Think of your goals as larger than your purchases,
and get free from debt so you can be available for any adventure God brings your way.
7 Principles in Finances

1: Stewardship: “We own nothing.“

Every other principle herein stems from the biblical idea of stewardship. Stewardship is a concept that has radically
changed our lives over the past 5 years. Basically, biblical stewardship is this: everything is God’s (not ours), what we have,
we have been given to care for, for God’s glory alone.

Every faculty you have, your power of thinking or of moving your limbs from moment to moment, is given you by God. If
you devoted every moment of your whole life exclusively to His service, you could not give Him anything that was not in
a sense His own already.
– C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I think of it like this: God has entrusted me with a plot of land to care for, I don’t own it, He does. At some point I will give
back to Him what is His, and I want to prove I’m a good steward. His love and my salvation do not depend on my
stewardship, but mindful stewardship is a natural result of understanding God’s grace and love. I want to give my life
and everything in it to Him because I’m compelled by His love.

As a man, it’s a truly liberating revelation; it takes pressure off of me to provide (i.e. God is our provider), but it also excites
me to use wisdom and work hard because I’m caring for the time, money, talent, and relationships He’s given me. Yes, I
work diligently (this isn’t an excuse to be lazy), but the reason I work is to steward, not strive for more income. It’s an
otherworldly concept, but wisdom of God sometimes looks foolish to the world, eh?
If you’re not familiar with biblical stewardship, there are many good books on it. And here’s a list of verses to start with
(crack that Bible!):

1. Matthew 25:14-30 (Parable of the talents)

One author put it very well:

With stewardship as our foundation, let’s dive into the other principles we’ve learned.

2: Perspective: “We have everything.”

If you’re reading this blog (i.e. you have internet and a device to view it on, you speak English) it’s likely that you are
extremely wealthy compared to the whole world. We’ve all heard the stats: “Billions of people live on less than $2 a day“.
It’s hard to take stats like that to heart, because we can’t really fathom what “Billions” of faceless people look like.
But it’s true.

Having a worldwide perspective helps keep financial issues in check. Can’t afford the $40,000 car you want? It’s not such
a big deal. Constant gratefulness is a great way to keep your perspective.

3: Seek Unity: “We’re in this together “

Get on the same page. If you both understand biblical stewardship and respond to wisdom, this won’t be a problem. But
if one of you seeks to be a good steward while the other spends haphazardly, you’re in for a bumpy ride.
Get on the same page: God’s page. Learn what God is asking of you and stick to it together.
4: Needs vs Wants vs Consumerism

Make a distinction between your decision motivators:

Knowing what’s motivating you will help you make godly financial decisions.

5: Avoid Excess

Warning: this is a radical idea for most, including myself. But since when was the gospel not radical?
Luxury by definition means excess. Extra. Lavish. I’m not talking about “pauper theology”, but rather stewardship taken
seriously. How much should you give away if you make $1M a year? Nobody needs to live on $1M annually. If you have
extra, it may be time to give extra; yes, more than 10%, more than 30%, perhaps even more than 90% of your income.

I won’t paint with broad brush strokes: “Everyone over $xxx,xxx should give xx% away”. That’s between you and God. The
key is to be utterly, completely, and wholeheartedly satisfied in God and obedient to God. Right perspective on
stewardship is critical to not “fooling ourselves” or justifying money management habits that are bad stewardship.
In fact, your gut reaction to this proposition gives you a hint on your true perspective on stewardship. I know I have a
heart check even now as I write this. (God, please help me…)

6: Use Cash, Not Credit

Don’t use a credit card, it’s not real money. Also, the airline miles aren’t worth it (I worked in loyalty marketing for a
number of years, and trust me, “points” and “miles” are there for companies to make more money.)
Also, avoid loans whenever you can. There’s a reason so many people are in the lending business, because they make
money, and lots of it.

Selena and I are still learning about this. We only have debit cards, which we learned to do the hard way. We also have a
house with a mortgage (we rent it out), a car loan, and school debts. I can’t definitively say “all loans are bad”, but I can
say credit cards are just plain nasty.
Proceed into any loan agreement with stewardship in mind, then make a wise choice based on God’s word.

7: Prioritize to Maximize Joy

Disposable income is good! It’s one way we can experience God’s grace. It’s extra, and it’s there to be enjoyed. When
enjoying it, choose the things that matter most to you, not just shiny things marketed well.

If you’ve got $300 of “fun money” this month, how do you use it in a purposeful way to maximize long-term enjoyment?
For us, we travel. We love to make memories. I imagine at some point we’ll buy a ski boat or a horse (Sel loves horses),
but only when the time is absolutely right. The point here is to spend your disposable cash (after tithe+, after saving) in a
way that builds you up purposely as opposed to just adding to life’s consumer clutter.