ELE17 - Good

Manners and
Right Conduct
(Edukasyon sa
Pagpapakatao)
1ST Semester, A.Y. 2021-2022

Module 7
(Week 14-16)
Prepared by:

Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT

Instructor

Name of Student: _____________________________________

Course/Section: ______________________________________
Date Accomplished: ___________________________________

Personality Development and Emotions

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 Overview
This module focuses on the discussion about motivation and emotion in
relation to personality development. It will also discuss what is conflict, its definition,
stages, and other related topics.

Objectives
 Demonstrate awareness about emotions and how it affects personality
 Define motivation in terms of drives, motives, and intrinsic vs. extrinsic
motivators
 Identify the real cost of conflict in your organization

Discussion
Motivation and Emotions
Motivation describes the wants or needs that direct behavior toward a goal. It
is an urge to behave or act in a way that will satisfy certain conditions, such as
wishes, desires, or goals. Older theories of motivation stated that rational thought
and reason were the guiding factors in human motivation; however, psychologists
now believe that motivation may be rooted in basic impulses to optimize well-being,
minimize physical pain, and maximize pleasure.
Drives and Motives
Motivations are commonly separated into drives and motives. Drives are
primarily biological, like thirst, hunger, sleepiness, and the need to reproduce—all of
which leads us to seek out and take part in certain activities. Drives are believed to
originate within a person and may not require external stimuli to encourage
behavior. Motives, on the other hand, are primarily driven by social and
psychological mechanisms, such as work, family, and relationships. They include
factors like praise and approval.
Both drives and motives can be manipulated by stimulation and deprivation.
Motivation can be stimulated by uncomfortable or aversive conditions or events
(shocks, loud noise, or excessive heat or cold can motivate us to seek better
conditions) or by attractions to positive or pleasurable conditions or events (such as
food or sex). We also become motivated when we’re deprived of something that we
want or need, like adequate nutrition or social contact.
Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation
Motivation can be intrinsic (arising from internal factors) or extrinsic (arising
from external factors).

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 Intrinsically-motivated behaviors are generated by the sense of personal
satisfaction that they bring. They are driven by an interest or enjoyment in the task
itself that comes from the individual, not society. For example, if you are in college
because you enjoy learning and want to make yourself a better-rounded individual,
you are intrinsically motivated. Intrinsic motivation is a critical element in cognitive,
social, and physical development; those individuals who are intrinsically motivated
are likely to perform better and improve their skills at a given task.
Extrinsically-motivated behaviors, in contrast, are performed in order to
receive something from others. They do not come from within the individual, but from
society—other people. For example, employees might do their work because they
want the company to pay them, not because they love the work. Many athletes are
driven by the goal of winning, beating the competition, and receiving praise from
fans; they are not driven by the intrinsic satisfaction they get from playing the sport.
Similarly, if you are in college because you want to make yourself more marketable
for a high-paying career or to satisfy the demands of your parents, then your
motivation is more extrinsic in nature.
Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation: Intrinsic motivation comes from within the
individual and results in a sense of autonomy, mastery, and purpose. Extrinsic
motivation such as punishments, rewards, and other types of compensation, comes
from outside the individual.
In reality, our motivations are often a mix of both intrinsic and extrinsic factors,
and the nature of the mix can change over time. For example, say cooking is one of
your favorite hobbies: you love to cook for others whenever you get a chance, and
you can easily spend hours in the kitchen. You are intrinsically motivated to cook.
Then you decide to go to culinary school and eventually get a job working as a chef
in a good restaurant. You are now getting extrinsic reinforcement (e.g., getting paid)
for your work, and may over time become more extrinsically than intrinsically
motivated. Sometimes, intrinsic motivation can diminish when extrinsic motivation is
given—a process known as the over justification effect. This can lead to
extinguishing the intrinsic motivation and creating a dependence on extrinsic rewards
for continued performance.

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Motivation vs. Emotion
While motivation and emotion can be intricately linked, they are two fundamentally
different things. Motivation describes the wants or needs that direct behavior toward
a goal; in contrast, an emotion is a subjective state of being that we often describe
as a feeling. Emotion and motivation are linked in several ways: both influence
behavior and can lead us to take action, and emotion itself can act as a motivator.
For example, the emotion of fear can motivate a person to leave a stressful situation,
while the emotion of happiness can motivate a person to be more productive on a
project that reinforces that emotion.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

In order to better understand what motivates human beings, Maslow proposed

that human needs can be organized into a hierarchy. This hierarchy ranges from
more concrete needs such as food and water to abstract concepts such as self-
fulfillment. According to Maslow, when a lower need is met, the next need on the
hierarchy becomes our focus of attention.
Physiological
These refer to basic physical needs like drinking when thirsty or eating when
hungry. According to Maslow, some of these needs involve our efforts to meet the
body’s need for homeostasis; that is, maintaining consistent levels in different bodily
systems (for example, maintaining a body temperature of 98.6°).1
Maslow considered physiological needs to be the most essential of our needs.
If someone is lacking in more than one need, they’re likely to try to meet these
physiological needs first. For example, if someone is extremely hungry, it’s hard to
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focus on anything else besides food. Another example of a physiological need would
be the need for adequate sleep.
Safety
Once people’s physiological requirements are met, the next need that arises
is a safe environment. Our safety needs are apparent even early in childhood, as
children have a need for safe and predictable environments and typically react with
fear or anxiety when these are not met. Maslow pointed out that in adults living in
developed nations, safety needs are more apparent in emergency situations (e.g.
war and disasters), but this need can also explain why we tend to prefer the
familiar or why we do things like purchase insurance and contribute to a savings
account.
Love and Belonging
According to Maslow, the next need in the hierarchy involves feeling loved
and accepted. This need includes both romantic relationships as well as ties to
friends and family members. It also includes our need to feel that we belong to a
social group. Importantly, this need encompasses both feeling loved and feeling love
towards others.
Since Maslow’s time, researchers have continued to explore how love and
belonging needs impact well-being. For example, having social connections is
related to better physical health and, conversely, feeling isolated (i.e. having unmet
belonging needs) has negative consequences for health and well-being.2
Esteem
Our esteem needs involve the desire to feel good about ourselves. According
to Maslow, esteem needs include two components. The first involves feeling self-
confidence and feeling good about oneself. The second component involves feeling
valued by others; that is, feeling that our achievements and contributions have been
recognized by other people. When people’s esteem needs are met, they feel
confident and see their contributions and achievements as valuable and important.
However, when their esteem needs are not met, they may experience what
psychologist Alfred Adler called “feelings of inferiority.”
Self-Actualization
Self-actualization refers to feeling fulfilled, or feeling that we are living up to
our potential. One unique feature of self-actualization is that it looks different for
everyone. For one person, self-actualization might involve helping others; for another
person, it might involve achievements in an artistic or creative field. Essentially, self-
actualization means feeling that we are doing what we believe we are meant to do.
According to Maslow, achieving self-actualization is relatively rare, and his examples
of famous self-actualized individuals include Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein,
and Mother Teresa.
The Neurological Basis of Emotions
There has been major progress in elucidating the neural basis of the emotions
and of emotional feelings. As a result of extensive animal and human studies, the
best understood emotion is fear (Damasio, 1994/2005; Le Doux, 1996; Panksepp,
1998; Feinstein et al., 2010). Fear relative to external circumstances is triggered by
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the amygdalae, two sets of subcortical nuclei located in the depth of each temporal
lobe. The amygdalae receive signals related to a certain situation, for example, a
visually represented threat such as a looming shadow or an auditorily represented
threat such as a high-pitched scream. When those signals have a suitable
configuration, an appropriate context, and reach a workable threshold, i.e. when they
are emotionally-competent, they activate nuclei in the hypothalamus and in the
sector of the brain stem known as the periaqueductal gray. Working together those
brain sites execute the requisite emotional actions — release of cortisol into the
bloodstream, adjustment of heart rate, respiratory rate, degree of gut contraction,
and fear-specific behaviors such as changes in facial expression and posture, and
freezing in place or running away from danger. The ensemble of these actions
constitutes the emotional state of fear. Thus, included in the emotional state are
specific behaviors aimed at protecting the integrity of the individual, e.g. running
away or freezing in place, and also a preparation of the organism meant to allow it to
carry out those protective behaviors. When the situation is best handled by a flight
response, the emotional state ensures that sources of energy are available in the
blood stream and adjusts cardiac and respiratory functions so that they meet the
metabolic needs ahead; the emotional state even provides for analgesia to offset the
pain that might result from potential injuries. In situations best dealt with by staying in
place as inconspicuously as possible, the preparatory actions are radically different
since no muscular effort will be needed and, immobility is instead the desired goal.
The selection of fleeing or freezing responses is made automatically although
humans may override the natural selection and decide for one of the other option.
This fine-tuned mechanism calls for the engagement of different cellular columns of
the periaqueductal gray.
Fear caused by internal events, for example, the extreme pain associated with
myocardial infarction or the development of acidosis associated with CO2 inhalation,
is probably triggered by chemoreceptors located subcortically, namely in the brain
stem.
The emotion program of disgust is another good example of protection of the
organism’s integrity. Disgust is triggered from a small region of the anterior insular
cortex when certain stimuli are present, for instance, the sight of decomposing food
or body waste, as well as tastes or odors from decomposing organic matter. The
sight of body-boundary violations, as in a wound with blood, also causes disgust.
The actions that constitute disgust include a typical facial expression and, for
example, the rapid expulsion of the potentially offending food. As a result the subject
will not ingest a potentially toxic food and other subjects may also be alerted to the
potential danger (Harrison et al., 2010).
In the social emotion of contempt there is a rejection of certain behaviors or
ideas rather than an expulsion of toxic substances or their tell-tale signs. Contempt
can be seen as a biological metaphor for disgust. Significantly, we refer to actions
that cause moral revulsion as “disgusting,” and the repertoire of facial expressions
that accompanies a contemptuous judgment is similar to that of disgust. The
advantages of contempt are apparent: the rejection of behaviors deemed dangerous
to individuals or groups, and the social isolation of those who produce such
behaviors.
Compassion is another emotion whose trigger region has been identified. The
triggering site is located in the ventral and medial sector of the prefrontal cortex.
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When this region is activated by the sight of others facing a predicament, for
example, an accident resulting in physical injury, facial expressions and even
gestures meant to help the victims are rapidly deployed. Such actions benefit others
and by extension the social group, but also result in personal benefits such as
increased appreciation by others, gratitude, and thus enhanced reputation
(Immordino Yang et al., 2009).
Kinds of Emotions
There are many different types of emotions that have an influence on how we
live and interact with others. At times, it may seem like we are ruled by these
emotions. The choices we make, the actions we take, and the perceptions we have
are all influenced by the emotions we are experiencing at any given moment.
Basic Emotions
During the 1970s, psychologist Paul Eckman identified six basic emotions that
he suggested were universally experienced in all human cultures. The emotions he
identified were happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger. He later
expanded his list of basic emotions to include such things as pride, shame,
embarrassment, and excitement.
Combining Emotions
Psychologist Robert Plutchik put forth a "wheel of emotions" that worked
something like the color wheel. Emotions can be combined to form different feelings,
much like colors can be mixed to create other shades.
According to this theory, the more basic emotions act something like building
blocks. More complex, sometimes mixed emotions, are blendings of these more
basic ones. For example, basic emotions such as joy and trust can be combined to
create love.
Happiness
Of all the different types of emotions, happiness tends to be the one that
people strive for the most. Happiness is often defined as a pleasant emotional state
that is characterized by feelings of contentment, joy, gratification, satisfaction, and
well-being.
Research on happiness has increased significantly since the 1960s within a
number of disciplines, including the branch of psychology known as positive
psychology. This type of emotion is sometimes expressed through:

 Facial expressions: such as smiling

 Body language: such as a relaxed stance
 Tone of voice: an upbeat, pleasant way of speaking

While happiness is considered one of the basic human emotions, the things
we think will create happiness tend to be heavily influenced by culture. For example,
pop culture influences tend to emphasize that attaining certain things such as buying
a home or having a high-paying job will result in happiness.
The realities of what actually contributes to happiness are often much more
complex and more highly individualized. People have long believed that happiness
and health were connected, and research has supported the idea that happiness can
play a role in both physical and mental health.

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 Happiness has been linked to a variety of outcomes including increased
longevity and increased marital satisfaction. Conversely, unhappiness has been
linked to a variety of poor health outcomes.
Stress, anxiety, depression, and loneliness, for example, have been linked to
things such as lowered immunity, increased inflammation, and decreased life
expectancy.
Sadness
Sadness is another type of emotion often defined as a transient emotional
state characterized by feelings of disappointment, grief, hopelessness, disinterest,
and dampened mood. 
Like other emotions, sadness is something that all people experience from
time to time. In some cases, people can experience prolonged and severe periods of
sadness that can turn into depression. Sadness can be expressed in a number of
ways including:

 Crying
 Dampened mood
 Lethargy
 Quietness
 Withdrawal from others

The type and severity of sadness can vary depending upon the root cause,
and how people cope with such feelings can also differ.
Sadness can often lead people to engage in coping mechanisms such as
avoiding other people, self-medicating, and ruminating on negative thoughts. Such
behaviors can actually exacerbate feelings of sadness and prolong the duration of
the emotion.

Fear
Fear is a powerful emotion that can also play an important role in survival.
When you face some sort of danger and experience fear, you go through what is
known as the fight or flight response.
Your muscles become tense, your heart rate and respiration increase, and
your mind becomes more alert, priming your body to either run from the danger or
stand and fight.
This response helps ensure that you are prepared to effectively deal with
threats in your environment. Expressions of this type of emotion can include:

 Facial expressions: such as widening the eyes and pulling back the chin
 Body language: attempts to hide or flea from the threat
 Physiological reactions: such as rapid breathing and heartbeat

Of course, not everyone experiences fear in the same way. Some people may
be more sensitive to fear and certain situations or objects may be more likely to
trigger this emotion.
Fear is the emotional response to an immediate threat. We can also develop
a similar reaction to anticipated threats or even our thoughts about potential dangers,
and this is what we generally think of as anxiety. Social anxiety, for example,
involves an anticipated fear of social situations.

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 Some people, on the other hand, actually seek out fear-provoking situations.
Extreme sports and other thrills can be fear-inducing, but some people seem to
thrive and even enjoy such feelings.
Repeated exposure to a fear object or situation can lead to familiarity and
acclimation, which can reduce feelings of fear and anxiety.
This is the idea behind exposure therapy, in which people are gradually
exposed to the things that frighten them in a controlled and safe manner. Eventually,
feelings of fear begin to decrease.
Disgust
Disgust is another of the original six basic emotions described by Eckman.
Disgust can be displayed in a number of ways including:

 Body language: turning away from the object of disgust

 Physical reactions: such as vomiting or retching
 Facial expressions: such as wrinkling the nose and curling the upper lip

This sense of revulsion can originate from a number of things, including an

unpleasant taste, sight, or smell. Researchers believe that this emotion evolved as a
reaction to foods that might be harmful or fatal. When people smell or taste foods
that have gone bad, for example, disgust is a typical reaction.
Poor hygiene, infection, blood, rot, and death can also trigger a disgust
response. This may be the body's way of avoiding things that may carry
transmittable diseases.7
People can also experience moral disgust when they observe others
engaging in behaviors that they find distasteful, immoral, or evil.

Anger
Anger can be a particularly powerful emotion characterized by feelings of
hostility, agitation, frustration, and antagonism towards others. Like fear, anger can
play a part in your body's fight or flight response.
When a threat generates feelings of anger, you may be inclined to fend off the
danger and protect yourself. Anger is often displayed through:

 Facial expressions: such as frowning or glaring

 Body language: such as taking a strong stance or turning away
 Tone of voice: such as speaking gruffly or yelling
 Physiological responses: such as sweating or turning red
 Aggressive behaviors: such as hitting, kicking, or throwing objects

While anger is often thought of as a negative emotion, it can sometimes be a

good thing. It can be constructive in helping clarify your needs in a relationship, and
it can also motivate you to take action and find solutions to things that are bothering
you.
Anger can become a problem, however, when it is excessive or expressed in
ways that are unhealthy, dangerous, or harmful to others. Uncontrolled anger can
quickly turn to aggression, abuse, or violence.
This type of emotion can have both mental and physical consequences.
Unchecked anger can make it difficult to make rational decisions and can even have
an impact on your physical health.8

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 Anger has been linked to coronary heart diseases and diabetes. It has also
been linked to behaviors that pose health risks such as aggressive driving, alcohol
consumption, and smoking.

Surprise
Surprise is another one of the six basic types of human emotions originally
described by Eckman. Surprise is usually quite brief and is characterized by a
physiological startle response following something unexpected.
This type of emotion can be positive, negative, or neutral. An unpleasant
surprise, for example, might involve someone jumping out from behind a tree and
scaring you as you walk to your car at night.
An example of a pleasant surprise would be arriving home to find that your
closest friends have gathered to celebrate your birthday. Surprise is often
characterized by:

 Facial expressions: such as raising the brows, widening the eyes, and
opening the mouth
 Physical responses: such as jumping back
 Verbal reactions: such as yelling, screaming, or gasping

Surprise is another type of emotion that can trigger the fight or flight response.
When startled, people may experience a burst of adrenaline that helps prepare the
body to either fight or flee.9
Surprise can have important effects on human behavior. For example,
research has shown that people tend to disproportionately notice surprising events.
This is why surprising and unusual events in the news tend to stand out in
memory more than others. Research has also found that people tend to be more
swayed by surprising arguments and learn more from surprising information.
Other Types of Emotions
The six basic emotions described by Eckman are just a portion of the many
different types of emotions that people are capable of experiencing. Eckman's theory
suggests that these core emotions are universal throughout cultures all over the
world.
However, other theories and new research continue to explore the many
different types of emotions and how they are classified. Eckman later added a
number of other emotions to his list but suggested that unlike his original six
emotions, not all of these could necessarily be encoded through facial expressions.
Some of the emotions he later identified included:

 Amusement
 Contempt
 Contentment
 Embarrassment
 Excitement
 Guilt
 Pride in achievement
 Relief
 Satisfaction
 Shame

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 Emotional Intelligence
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and
evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be
learned and strengthened, while others claim it's an inborn characteristic.
The ability to express and control emotions is essential, but so is the ability to
understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. Imagine a world in
which you could not understand when a friend was feeling sad or when a co-worker
was angry. Psychologists refer to this ability as emotional intelligence, and some
experts even suggest that it can be more important than IQ in your overall success in
life.
How Emotional Intelligence Is Measured?
A number of different assessments have emerged to measure levels of
emotional intelligence. Such tests generally fall into one of two types: self-report
tests and ability tests.
Self-report tests are the most common because they are the easiest to
administer and score. On such tests, respondents respond to questions or
statements by rating their own behaviors. For example, on a statement such as "I
often feel that I understand how others are feeling," a test-taker might describe the
statement as disagree, somewhat disagree, agree, or strongly agree.
Ability tests, on the other hand, involve having people respond to situations
and then assessing their skills. Such tests often require people to demonstrate their
abilities, which are then rated by a third party.
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

People with high emotional intelligence are usually successful in most things
they do. Why? Because they're the ones that others want on their team. When
people with high emotional intelligence send an email, it gets answered. When they
need help, they get it. Because they make others feel good, they go through life
much more easily than people who are easily angered or upset. There are many
benefits to Emotional intelligence, but here are just a few…

1. It allows for better team work

Teams with emotionally intelligent members are great at working together. They
have good communication, trust each other, and value each other’s input. When
someone makes a suggestion, they’re able to respond in a positive and productive
way.

2. You can deal with change

Not many people like change, but Emotional intelligence gives you the tools you
need to deal with any change that comes your way. In the workplace, many people
often face change with a negative attitude and crossed arms; but an emotionally
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intelligent person will be much more positive and can inspire other team members to
feel the same way.

3. You can handle those tough conversations

Whether it’s an angry customer or an upset employee, difficult conversations can stir
up all sorts of emotions. If you have the right skills, you can handle those
conversations by emotionally connecting with the other person before finding a
resolution.

4. It’s an essential people skill

Emotional intelligence allows you to quickly build trust with people, as well as a
rapport. You’ll be able to understand their feelings and empathise with them –
fantastic for any role that involves working in teams!

5. It’s a key feature of a strong leader

Great leaders understand people; they know how they work, how to influence them,
and how to inspire them. Emotional intelligence will help you to achieve this
understanding in order to be a brilliant leader and guide your team in the right
direction.

Developing Emotional Intelligence

The good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned and developed. As well
as working on your skills in the five areas above, use these strategies:
 Observe how you react to people. Do you rush to judgment before you
know all of the facts? Do you stereotype? Look honestly at how you think and
interact with other people. Try to put yourself in their place , and be more
open and accepting of their perspectives and needs.
 Look at your work environment. Do you seek attention for your
accomplishments? Humility can be a wonderful quality, and it doesn't mean
that you're shy or lack self-confidence. When you practice humility, you say
that you know what you did, and you can be quietly confident about it. Give
others a chance to shine – put the focus on them, and don't worry too much
about getting praise for yourself.

 Do a self-evaluation. What are your weaknesses? Are you willing to accept

that you're not perfect and that you could work on some areas to make
yourself a better person? Have the courage to look at yourself honestly – it
can change your life.
 Examine how you react to stressful situations. Do you become upset
every time there's a delay or something doesn't happen the way you want?
Do you blame others or become angry at them, even when it's not their fault?
The ability to stay calm and in control in difficult situations is highly valued – in

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 the business world and outside it. Keep your emotions under control when
things go wrong.

 Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone's

feelings, apologize directly – don't ignore what you did or avoid the person.
People are usually more willing to forgive and forget if you make an honest
attempt to make things right.
 Examine how your actions will affect others – before you take those
actions. If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place. How will
they feel if you do this? Would you want that experience? If you must take the
action, how can you help others deal with the effects?
How to handle Your Hurt and Anger/Temper
Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure
rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy
emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can
take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger
management tips.

1. Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few
moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others
involved in the situation to do the same.

2. Once you're calm, express your anger

As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-
confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without
hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you
feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other
enjoyable physical activities.

4. Take a timeout
Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that
tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared
to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand.
Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late
for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on

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your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and
might only make it worse.

6. Stick with 'I' statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I"
statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say,
"I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of
"You never do any housework."

7. Don't hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to
crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own
bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you,
you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.

8. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making
you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should
go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing
exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as
"Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga
poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger
issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts
those around you.
A Positive Attitude
1.Positive attitude is a state of mind that envisions and expects favorable results.
2.The willingness to try doing new things.
3.The belief that everything would turn all right.
4.It is an attitude that helps you see the good in people.
5.It is a mental attitude that sees the good and the accomplishments in your life,
rather than the negative and the failures.
6.A positive attitude is a mindset that helps you see and recognize opportunities.
7.Positive attitude means positive thinking.
8.It is optimism and maintaining a positive mindset.

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 9.It is a mental attitude that focuses on the bright side of life.
10. It is a mindset that uses the words, “I can”, and “it is possible”.
Need for Attitude Renewal
Everyone must occasionally engage in some form of attitude renewal–
reestablish a positive focus, repair damage of wear and tear. That’s what weekend
getaways, vacations, and holidays are supposed to be used for. They give us time to
combat:
 Environmental shock waves– financial reversals, disappointments, family
problems, health concerns, etc.
 Self-image problems– tired of the way we look, gained a few pounds, not as
well-groomed as we used to be.
 Negative drift– even when all seems to be going well, there can be a
movement toward negativism, perhaps brought on by the simple constant
bombardment by the negatives of society around us.
Insulate
 Refuse to assume responsibility for other people’s problems.
 Play your winners– concentrate on positives.
 Find ways not to worry about things beyond your control. Partnerup with God,
let Him handle those items.
 Share your problems with God.
 Talk problems over with good friends or professional counselors.
 Keep things light– don’t take life too seriously. One person used to say,
“Twenty years from now, what difference will this have made?”
 Keep busy- work out problems/frustrations through physical activity.
 Make temporary changes to your environment–long hike, mini-vacation.
 Do something to help others.
 Engage in special leisure activities, hobbies, gardening, sports, home
repair/remodeling.
Look Better to Yourself
Let’s turn to practical ways that you can, in light of these findings, rethink your own
appearance self-esteem:

1. Throw away your conventional, media-defined ideals of beauty. You’re not

going to change society’s definition of beauty, but you can change your own.
2. Define yourself in ways other than how you look. Make your self-esteem
contingent on your inner, not outer qualities.
3. Don’t freak out when you feel you “look bad.” Anxiety and stress can take an
actual toll on your face, and you’ll be more likely to display the outer signs that
truly detract from a pleasant appearance.

15 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT

4. Smile. On a related note, assembling your features into a pleasant expression
when you see people goes a long way toward giving yourself a more pleasing
appearance.
5. Wear clothing that’s actually comfortable. Along with the makeup, you can also
go cold turkey on the clothes you feel you need to wear to look fashionable.
6. Focus on keeping healthy. Being concerned about your body’s shape because
of how you look isn’t beneficial to your overall well-being.
7. Use others as a sounding board. You may think your nose is huge and your
freckles are a disaster, but those who care about you may find the very features
that bother you the most to be endearing.
8. Take your aging in stride. Constantly comparing yourself unfavorably to people
who are years, if not decades, younger will inevitably detract from your self-
esteem.

Understanding Conflict
What is Conflict?
At one level, we are all very familiar with conflict. Conflict is generally viewed
as an undesirable negative force in society, to be eradicated as we come across it.
And yet, conflict can also be a painful, or uncomfortable, stage of a system
undergoing a process of change, and offers the potential to transform and bring
about positive growth, if handled appropriately.

 Conflict involves people: it is a state of human interaction between two or

more parties (or even two or more parts of ourselves). 
 Conflict is a state of human interaction where there is disharmony. 
 It emerges when parties compete over perceived or actual goals, values or
interests.
 It occurs when parties confront each other with opposing actions and
counter-actions. 
 It is an indicator that something is changing, has changed or needs to
change.
 Conflict is a state of human interaction where there is disharmony or a
perceived divergence of interests, needs or goals.
 Conflict is a form of competitive behaviour between people or groups. It
occurs when two or more people compete over perceived or actual
incompatible goals or limited resources (Boulding, 1962, cited in CDR, 1986:
2).
 A social conflict exists when two or more persons or groups manifest the
belief that they have incompatible objectives (Kreisberg, 1988: 2).
 Conflict is an outgrowth of the diversity that characterizes our thoughts, our
attitudes, our beliefs, our perceptions, and our social systems and structures.
It is as much a part of our existence as is evolution (Weeks, 1994: 7).

The Nature of Conflict

16 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT

 A conflict is the moment of truth in a relationship-a test of its health, a crisis
that can weaken or strengthen it, a critical event that may bring lasting resentment,
smoldering hostility, psychological scars. Conflicts can push people away from each
other or pull them into a closer and more intimate union; they contain the seeds of
destruction and the seeds of greater unity; they may bring about armed warfare or
deeper mutual understanding.
How conflicts are resolved is probably the most critical factor in all
relationships. Unfortunately, most people try to resolve them by using only two basic
approaches in which someone wins and someone loses, both of which outcomes are
ineffective and harmful to the relationship.
Few persons accept the fact that conflict is part of life and not necessarily
bad. We look on conflict as something to avoid at all costs. We often hear
husbands and wives boast that they have never had a serious disagreement-as if
that means theirs has been a good relationship.
Parents tell their children, “All right, there is to be no arguing tonight at the
dinner table-we don’t want to spoil our dinner.” Or they yell, “Stop that arguing, right
now!” Parents of teenagers can be heard lamenting that now that their children are
older there are many more disagreements and conflicts in the family. “We used to
see eye to eye on most things.” Or, “My daughter was always so cooperative and
easy to handle, but now we don’t see things her way and she can’t see things our
way.”
At home or at work, most of us hate to experience conflict, are deeply trouble
when it occurs, and are quite confused about how to handle it constructively.
Actually, it would be a rare relationship if, over a period of time, one person’s needs
did not conflict with the other’s. When any two people (or groups) coexist, conflict is
bound to occur just because people are different, think differently, and have needs
and wants that sometimes do not match.

Conflict, therefore, is not necessarily bad-it exists as a reality of any relationship. As

a matter of fact, a relationship with no apparent conflict may be unhealthier than one
with frequent conflict. A good example is a marriage where the wife is always
subservient to a dominating husband or vice versa, or a boss-subordinate
relationship in which the subordinate is so deathly afraid of the boss that s/he does
not dare cross him/her in any way.
Most people have known families, especially large families, where conflict
crops up constantly and yet these families are wonderfully happy and healthy.
Conversely, we often see newspaper accounts of youthful criminals whose parents
indicate complete astonishment that their boy could do such a thing. They say they
never had any trouble with him; he had always been so “cooperative” which is
usually a euphemism of “obedient.”
Conflict in a family or a work group, openly expressed and accepted as a
natural phenomenon, can be far healthier than most people think. Members have

17 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT

the opportunity to experience conflict, learn how to cope with it, and be better
prepared to deal with it in later life. And family conflict may actually be beneficial,
provided that the conflict in the home gets resolved constructively.
This is the critical factor in any relationship: how their conflicts get resolved,
not how many conflicts occur. It is the most critical factor in determining whether a
relationship will be healthy or unhealthy, mutually satisfying or unsatisfying, friendly
or unfriendly, deep or shallow, intimate or cold, peaceful or violent.
Conflict Stages
We will be working around a model that includes five stages of conflict. In the
first stage, the "Latent Stage," the people who are in conflict are not yet aware that a
conflict may exist. For example a project may have been turned in late to a client, but
the manager is not aware of it yet so the participants are not aware there is a conflict
brewing. The "Perceived Stage" is when the people involved in a conflict become
fully aware that there is a conflict, such as when the manager discovers that the
project has been delivered late and goes to speak to the employee about it. During
the "Felt Stage" stress and anxiety are felt by one or more of the participants due to
the conflict, and this leads to the "Manifest Stage," during which the conflict can be
observed. The Manifest Stage can take a number of shapes including: e-mails,
phone calls, phone messages, face-to-face meetings, or any situation in which the
conflict could be observed. The final stage is the "Aftermath Stage," which takes
place when there is some outcome of the conflict, such as a resolution to, or
dissolution of, the problem.

Five Stages of Conflict:

 Latent Stage: Participants not yet aware of conflict

 Perceived Stage: Participants aware a conflict exists
 Felt Stage: Stress and anxiety
 Manifest: Conflict is open and can be observed
 Aftermath: Outcome of conflict, resolution or dissolution

18 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT

Responses to Conflict
Competing
A competing response is very assertive but low on cooperation. A person
using this approach considers her needs as more important than others’ needs.
Those who favor this response tend to be goal-oriented and would rather risk a
relationship than make compromises. Sometimes, this response is interpreted as
aggressive and confrontational.

A competing response isn’t always a negative response. In some situations

it’s necessary, for example:

 when you need to act decisively and without hesitation as in a crisis situation,
 if you’re in a position of authority and need to carry out unpopular actions, or
 when you have to deal with employees who are taking advantage of the
company or an individual in some way.

In addition, a competing approach may be used for issues crucial to company

well-being when you know you’re right, and in situations when you want to protect
others from their own bad choices.

Collaborating

A collaborating response is highly assertive and cooperative. A person using it

will express her views, as well as listen to the views of others. The aim is to reach a
win-win resolution. It requires good negotiating techniques to get those involved to
commit to a solution. This approach can often take longer than other approaches.

Collaboration is a useful response when everyone’s concerns are too

important to be compromised. A collaborative approach is also useful when you want
to learn from others, merge views of different people, gain commitment through
consensus, and encourage tolerance and understanding of others.

Compromising

When you use a compromising response, you seek the middle ground
between two positions in an argument. When you respond to conflict with this
approach, you are willing to make some concessions. You want to find a solution that
will at least partially satisfy all involved. So you are willing to give up something, but
you also expect the other party to give up something too.

A compromising approach to conflict is appropriate when:

 parties with equal power are at a standstill,
 you want to achieve a temporary solution to a complex problem,
 you are under time pressure to arrive at a solution,
 collaboration or competition are not successful, and
 the cost of conflict is higher than the cost of losing ground.

Compromising ensures partial victory and partial defeat for both parties and is
effective when both sides need to save face.
19 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT
Avoiding

Avoiding is an unassertive and uncooperative response. It means that you

withdraw from or postpone the conflict. This response may involve delegating
controversial decisions, accepting default decisions, or not wanting to hurt anyone’s
feelings. In many cases, this can be a weak and ineffective response to conflict.

Avoiding conflict can be appropriate when the issue is not important enough,
when the disruption of dealing with the conflict will cause more damage than good,
or when you have no chance of satisfying your concerns. And when emotions are
high, it’s best to avoid further confrontation until those involved have calmed down.
In addition, if you need to gather more information before addressing the conflict, you
may use an avoiding response. You might also use this approach when others are in
a better position to solve the conflict.

Accommodating

An accommodating response is unassertive and very cooperative. It indicates

that you deem other people’s opinions as more valid than your own. And you’re
willing to meet the needs of others at the expense of your own needs. An
accommodator may see a relationship as more important than his or her own goals or
needs.

You may use an accommodating response:

 when you realize you’re at fault, and you want to rectify the situation and
restore a relationship,
 to please your superiors, or if you’re a manager, you may use it with
subordinates to allow them to develop by learning from mistakes, or
 when the relationship with the other person is more important than the issue.

Other situations in which you may use this approach are when issues are
more important to others than to you, or when you want to build social credits for
later issues. It may also be used if you want to minimize losses when you are
outmatched and losing.

By paying attention to how others have successfully handled conflict

situations and by analyzing your own experiences, you can learn to address conflict
effectively. Some responses to conflict can make it worse, so you need to recognize
appropriate responses in different situations. Organizations need to recognize the
importance of learning from conflict too — they may need to consider changes to
make conflict less likely.

What Creates Conflict? What are the Causes of Conflicts?

There are five main causes of conflict: information conflicts, values conflicts,
interest conflicts, relationship conflicts, and structural conflicts.
 Information conflicts arise when people have different or insufficient
information, or disagree over what data is relevant. Allowing sufficient time to

20 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT

 be heard, in a respectful environment facilitated by a neutral person can allow
parties to clear up information disparities.
 Values conflicts are created when people have perceived or actual
incompatible belief systems. Where a person or group tries to impose its
values on others or claims exclusive right to a set of values, disputes arise.
While values may be non-negotiable, they can be discussed and people can
learn to live peacefully and coherently alongside each other.
 Interest conflicts are caused by competition over perceived or actual
incompatible needs. Such conflicts may occur over issues of money,
resources, or time. Parties often mistakenly believe that in order to satisfy
their own needs, those of their opponent must be sacrificed. A mediator can
help identify ways to dovetail interests and create opportunities for mutual
gain.
 Relationship conflicts occur when there are misperceptions, strong negative
emotions, or poor communication. One person may distrust the other and
believe that the other person’s actions are motivated by malice or an intent to
harm the other. Relationship conflicts may be addressed by allowing each
person uninterrupted time to talk through the issues and respond to the other
person’s concerns.
 Structural conflicts are caused by oppressive behaviors exerted on others.
Limited resources or opportunity as well as organization structures often
promote conflict behavior. The parties may well benefit from mediation since
the forum will help neutralize the power imbalance.
Regardless of the cause of conflict, an experienced mediator can help parties
shift their focus from fighting to resolution. Since they are necessarily unbiased,
neutrals create an environment where parties can trust the process and work toward
a solution.
Cost of Conflicts

When conflict is mismanaged, costs mount. Some out-of-pocket costs like

absenteeism and lawsuits are relatively easy to observe and calculate, but other
costs, like poor decision-making, lost opportunities, broken trust, and diminished
quality of working relationships, can prove more costly but are more difficult to
quantify. To identify the real cost of conflict in your organization, consider the
following 7 factors:

1. Wasted time. How much management time is wasted on conflict rather than

addressing more productive issues? Remember to factor in lost productivity
when employees spend time complaining to coworkers about the conflict.
2. Employee turnover. When conflict is severe or ongoing, especially when
there’s a sense of betrayal in the workplace, employees are likely to seek a
better place to work, particularly when the job market is strong. Don’t
underestimate replacement costs. The cost of finding, training, and bringing a
new person up to speed can often exceed the annual salary of the employee
who leaves (particularly if they were a high-potential). It certainly costs more
than addressing conflicts in the first place so employees don’t get frustrated
and leave.
21 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT
 3. Grievances, complaints, and lawsuits. If problems are handled effectively
from the start, many issues can be resolved informally at a much lower cost. If
problems are ignored or not handled well, then the conflict spirals out of
control and requires third-party intervention, requiring more time, effort, and
cost.
4. Absenteeism and health costs. Employees often stay away from work to
avoid dealing with conflict or to delay a confrontation. Others may take time
off to address the physical and emotional stress of conflict. Health care costs,
in connection to stress-related illnesses, are part of the price of conflict
incompetence.
5. Workplace violence. Conflict can escalate out of control. The National
Institute of Occupational Safety and Health estimates that more than one
million workers are assaulted each year at work, and a significant number of
these assaults come from disgruntled customers, patients, coworkers, and
employees. The emotional toll can be enormous and can increase the costs
associated with retention, absenteeism, and health care.
6. Poor decision-making. Destructive conflict disrupts the organization’s ability
to function effectively. People begin to lose their energy and creativity. They
pull back, stop sharing information, and take fewer risks. The result can be
less collaboration across boundaries and poorer quality group decision-
making.
7. A poisoned workplace. Conflict causes all sorts of unpleasant emotions and
reduces the sense that you’re in a psychologically safe work environment.
Anger, fear, defensiveness, negativity, hurt, and embarrassment, combined
with misunderstanding and distrust, will lower morale and strain relationships.

Positive Effects of Conflicts

The truth is that conflict, even though commonly perceived in a negative light,
can be constructive, particularly when it’s managed effectively. For example, conflict
challenges complacency and so it can enhance the performance of individuals,
improve the cohesiveness of groups, and facilitate organizational change.
And dealing with conflict effectively can benefit you in several ways:
 it gives you a better understanding of how to achieve your goals —
Discussions required to resolve the conflict serve to widen individuals’
perceptions. You gain valuable insight into how you can achieve your own
goals while still ensuring that you don’t undermine those of the people you
work with.
 it helps to build better relationships with those you work with — If conflict
is dealt with appropriately, mutual respect between individuals develops and
this makes it easier for them to work together.
 it gives you clearer focus of what is most important — Dealing with conflict
forces you to assess your goals in detail and this helps you determine what is
most important to you. Also, becoming more focused helps you recognize
potential weaknesses and inconsistencies in your views and you may become
more challenged to act and think in a different manner.
The positive effect of conflict

22 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT

 Although conflict can be unpleasant at times, it can have positive effects. For
example, it may help to release pressures and frustrations, and it can lead to better
decision making and problem solving.
Organizational reactions to conflict differ. Some organizations are all for conflict
and encourage it, whereas others prefer to avoid and ignore it completely. Although
the majority of organizations will agree that too much conflict is not good, a certain
amount of conflict is actually necessary to function well. This is because it can have
some positive effects:
 it enables processing of emotion — If employees aren’t encouraged to
communicate their emotions, and therefore keep them to themselves, the
result is frustration and the flare-up of emotions at a later stage. Through
healthily expressed conflict, people’s true feelings are exposed and problem
situations are prevented from arising.
 it facilitates group development — By encouraging open discussions,
whether they be disagreements or simply an exchange of viewpoints,
employees who may have been reluctant to disagree at first may be
encouraged to participate a bit more.
 it enhances creativity — As soon as employees enter into discussions
regarding different ideas and viewpoints, they may have to justify or explain
these ideas or viewpoints and how they were formulated and what they are
based on. Through these discussions, other points of view are heard and
individuals are challenged to rethink their original positions. This creates a
synergistic process that facilitates creativity.
Conflict Management Styles
Knowing when and how to use each style can help control conflict and lead to an
improved working environment, resulting in a better bottom line.

 Collaborating Style: A combination of being assertive and cooperative, those

who collaborate attempt to work with others to identify a solution that fully
satisfies everyone’s concerns. In this style, which is the opposite of avoiding,
both sides can get what they want and negative feelings are minimized.
“Collaborating works best when the long-term relationship and outcome are
important—for example, planning for integrating two departments into one,
where you want the best of both in the newly formed department,” Dr. Benoliel
says.
 Competing Style: Those who compete are assertive and uncooperative and
willing to pursue one’s own concerns at another person’s expense. Dr.
Benoliel explains using this style works when you don’t care about the
relationship but the outcome is important, such as when competing with
another company for a new client. But, she cautions, “Don’t use competing
inside your organization; it doesn’t build relationships.”
 Avoiding Style: Those who avoid conflict tend to be unassertive and
uncooperative while diplomatically sidestepping an issue or simply
withdrawing from a threatening situation. “Use this when it is safer to
postpone dealing with the situation or you don’t have as great a concern

23 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT

 about the outcome, such as if you have a conflict with a co-worker about their
ethics of using FaceTime on the job.”
 Accommodating Style: The opposite of competing, there is an element of
self-sacrifice when accommodating to satisfy the other person. While it may
seem generous, it could take advantage of the weak and cause resentment.
“You can use accommodating when you really don’t care a lot about the
outcome but do want to preserve or build the relationship,” Dr. Benoliel says,
“such as going out for lunch with the boss and agreeing, ‘If you want to go for
Thai food for lunch, that’s OK with me.’”
 Compromising Style: This style aims to find an expedient, mutually
acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties in the conflict while
maintaining some assertiveness and cooperativeness. “This style is best to
use when the outcome is not crucial and you are losing time; for example,
when you want to just make a decision and move on to more important things
and are willing to give a little to get the decision made,” Dr. Benoliel says.
“However,” she adds, “be aware that no one is really satisfied.”

Negotiating Through a Personal Conflict Situation

The following three negotiation strategies for conflict resolution from the realm
of business negotiation can help parties mend their partnership, avoid the expense
of a lawsuit, and even create value.
1. Avoid being provoked into an emotional response - By challenging,
demeaning, and criticizing you, the other party (whether consciously or not)
may be attempting to provoke you into an emotional response that will shift
the balance of power in their favor.
2. Don’t abandon value-creating strategies - Negotiators who understand the
importance of collaborating with one another to create value nonetheless
often abandon that approach during dispute resolution.
3. Use time to your advantage - The perceptions we hold about the dispute
resolution process may change over time as a result of our experiences
dealing with the conflict and with the other party.

Assessment

Essay/Reflection (15pts each)

1. What intrinsic motivation triggers you to continue pursuing your education?
2. How motivations and emotions affect personality?

Interview (20pts)
Interview a worker (professional teacher, engineer, nurse, industry worker,
etc.), ask them what their experiences are and how they handle conflict in the

24 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT

Name:____________________________ Age_____________
workplace. What are their conflict management styles to resolve the challenges in
the workplace? Write their responses in the box and answer the questions below.

1. What have you learned from the experiences shared by the interviewee?
______________________________________________________________
2. What particular conflict management style has been utilized to solve the
problem in the workplace?
______________________________________________________________

Rubric for Essay

CRITERIA

CREATIVITY Ideas were Ideas were Ideas were dull

written written fairly and incoherent
creatively (5pts) creative (3) (2)

CLARITY OF Ideas were Ideas were Ideas were not

CONTENT expressed expressed in a under (2)
clearly (5pts) clear manner
(3)

ORGANIZATION Ideas were Ideas were Ideas include

organized and expressed but unrelated
easy to could have sentences. (2)
understand (5 been organized
pts) better (3)

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27 | P a g e Markhill Veran Tiosan, LPT