WEDDING RITUALS IN DIFFERENT CULTURE

Submitted To- Siddiqur Rahman Ph.D

Submitted By- Subah Samaeen
ID- 18108012
Course Code- ANT 103
Course ID- Society & Development
Semester-Summer 2018
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WEDDINGS IN DIFFERENT CULTURES

Introduction:
Wedding is a process by which two people make their relationship officially and publicly
permanent. This bond of two people is considered to last until death. The explanation of wedding
differs around the world not only between cultures and between religions but also throughout the
history of any given culture and religion. Although the basic meaning of wedding stays the same,
every culture has its own ways and means to promote marriage. They all have inbuilt rules and
restrictions which has been followed by the people all throughout their existence.

Bangladesh has a long history in its culture. It has evolved over the centuries and encompasses
the cultural diversity of several social groups of Bangladesh. Bengali wedding includes many
rituals and ceremonies that can span several days. Here in Bangladesh, we are rooted in tradition
yet there is variety seen in every realm of life, beginning with food and customs that are reflected
in Bangladeshi marriages. Even in Muslim weddings, rituals vary in different cultures. In the
present day, there are many different rituals in old Dhaka and new Dhaka Muslim weddings. My
research will be on Muslim weddings in New Dhaka and Old Dhaka. I am trying to find how
much Bangladeshi wedding, which was once rooted in tradition, has evolved through the
centuries and still able to stay significant in both of these cultures.

Areas of Research

Different cultures have made different kind of customs to make their culture unique. Although
there are similarities in cultures but mainly the differences are what that make them exceptional.
Therefore, I expect to find about what are the things that make Old Dhaka and New Dhaka
wedding so much different but exceptional. I am going to compare and contrast both of these
weddings. My research will cover the following areas
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 Main and small events

 Customs
 Hospitality
 Food
 Dress
 Decoration

Hypothesis:
Weddings are the most popular events in our society now. I think it’s the traditions that make the
weddings memorable. However, not every culture follows the same traditions. So how they are
memorable? What makes them so different from other and still noteworthy? There was only one
Dhaka in the past. And it is not that long ago. How much the wedding culture has diverted from
then. In my opinion, the main ritual of Old and New Dhaka are the same because of the same
religion, but small rituals, food, decorations, hospitality etc. have changed in different directions.

Methodology
For the primary research, I talked with two people in order to gather quantitative data regarding
the topic. Both of them were from Old Dhaka and have been to several old Dhaka weddings.
And the for the information on New Dhaka wedding I am going to use my own recollection as I
live in New Dhaka and have been to several New Dhaka weddings.

I went through secondary research after finishing my primary research in order to have a better
and clearer knowledge about my research topic. There were not many studies or researches have
been done on this topic. I used the internet for secondary data using the standard search engine
Google.
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Primary & Secondary Data Analysis

In New Dhaka, weddings are now in three parts: ‘gaye holud’, the wedding ceremony, and the
reception. And these are on three separate days. But in Old Dhaka wedding is the most
splendorous social ceremony. In Old Dhaka weddings, there are many rituals taken from Hindu
culture. People there celebrate a marriage function with a lot of rituals from before to after
marriage. Like-‘paan chini’, ‘paka kotha’, ’gaye holud’, playing with colors,‘kumari bhaat’,
wedding ceremony, ‘firolta’ and the reception. These are the main parts. There are small rituals
between them.

Pan-Chini & Paka-Kotha:

In Puran Dhaka at first, At first, pan-chini (betel leaf-sugar) ritual is performed when a group of
people from groom’s side comes to bride’s family with marriage proposal and determines
‘kabin’(a mandatory payment, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, or by
groom's father, to the bride at the time of marriage, that legally becomes her property) on that
day. These are determined through professional broker most of the time. The groom side‟s
people bring lots of sweets and pan-supari(betel-leaf and betel-nut). After paka-kotha (finalize
the proposal), the bride‟s family distributes those sweets and pan-supari among the relatives and
neighbors with the good news. Now in New Dhaka there’s no pan-chini ritual. A group of people
from groom’s side comes to bride’s family with marriage proposal and determines ‘kabin’. After
finalizing the proposal sweets are distributed. But no paan-shupari. Sometimes they distribute
dates.

Gaye Holud:
In a Gaye holud ritual, bride or groom is rubbed with holud (turmeric). Usually the people from
groom’s side go to bride’s house first with gifts and sweets and articles of gaye holud. In old
Dhaka, these articles must include doi and two large sizes of fish. A cigarette is given in the
mouth of one fish indicating groom and another fish’s mouth is covered by a cloth indicating
bride. Some money is given in the fish as gift for cutter of fish. These two fish’s fries are served
in front of grooms people. There is no fish ritual like that in new Dhaka. Both of the sides bring
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gifts, sweets and articles at ‘gaye holud’. In New Dhaka, applying some turmeric is just a show
off. The main part of the holud is usually dancing, singing and drama. These are performed by
close relatives and friends. Sometimes they hire bands. But in old Dhaka holud and cultural
program are two different events. The cultural program is mostly known as ‘sangeet’. And in
holud the bride and groom are completely rubbed with turmeric before their bath. Then they go
to a river side for the bath.

Figure 1 ,2: Wedding articles given by bride's family (Source: Primary)

Playing With Colors:

Playing with colors or also known as ‘Holi’ is a custom that some people celebrate in Old Dhaka.
This is an adapted custom from Hindu culture. Young generation play with colors and water too.
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Now-a-days people in New Dhaka also celebrate this custom. Mostly the rich people do that.

Figure 3 : Playing with colors at old Dhaka (Source: Google)

The Wedding Day:

In Old Dhaka, before the wedding the bride takes last meal in her virgin life as a ritual called
‘kumari-bhat’(rice for virgin girl) and it is celebrated ostentatiously. In the day of marriage, the
groom’s party comes by tomtom cars and horse visiting the surrounding area 3 or 4 times. The
bride comes in a ‘palki’ (a large box carrying one passenger, carried on two horizontal poles by
four or six bearers). In New Dhaka weddings, groom’s party comes usually in luxurious cars.
They don’t visit the surrounding areas 3 or 4 times. In both culture, the bride and groom make
grand entries separately. The ‘niqah’ is most of the time done at home or a mosque surrounded
by close relatives. The groom is also held hostage at the gate before he enters the wedding venue
when the young cousins and friends of the bride ask for money to cut the ribbon at the gate.
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Figure 4: Bride in a palki (Source: Google) Figure 5: Groom on a horse (Source: Google)

In both culture bride the 'rusmat' ceremony is held before a large audience. The bridegroom and
bride are put under a single veil and the groom at first glance of a mirror held before the couple
is asked to pronounce her loveliness.  At the end, the bride's father gives away the bride to the
groom. She is given farewell with blessings of her parents and relatives to start a new life with
her companion. It is a highly emotional moment, cheerful for the boy's side and gloomy for the
girl's family.

Figure 6 : Rusmat Ceremony (Source: Google) Figure 7 : Bride’s Farewell (Source: Google)

Welcoming The Bride

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Welcoming the bride is also known as ‘bodhu boron’. New and Old Dhaka rejoices them in
different ways. In Old Dhaka, The mother of the groom takes the initiative when the bride and
groom arrive at the doorstep. The bride puts her hand in a tray full of red liquid color and then in
a white or sometimes in a wall to give her handprints. Sometimes the bride has to throw some
rice backwards. And sometimes the bride may be asked to step on lac dye and milk that
permanently heralds her first imprint and step into her new home. These rituals are adapted from
Hindu culture. In New Dhaka, before entering her new home the bride’s feet is washed by the
groom’s younger sisters. The bride has to give them money for washing her feet.

Hospitality:
The hospitality one can find in Old Dhaka wedding is hard to find in any other culture. In
Bangladeshi wedding, there are so many people that it is not possible to give attention to all of
them. However, in Old Dhaka weddings, they try to make everyone comfortable. People are
friendly, take interest in your life, and initiate conversations. While having the meal people will
ask you several times if you need something, serve you food. They like to take care of their
guests. They don’t want anyone to feel left out. In New Dhaka weddings, people are busy among
themselves. There’s always a good amount of people who are bored and keep using phones.
People who don’t like to initiate conversations stay in a corner and leave after having their meal.
Some people talk in certain groups and don’t try to initiate conversation with any other. They
stay busy among themselves.

The First Breakfast:

In Old Dhaka the bride’s family sent fruits, sweets and homemade foods before the bride’s first
breakfast. They make only traditional Bengali foods like- Paratha, kabab, pitha. The bride wakes
up early, takes her shower, wears a saree and greets all the elders. In New Dhaka the bride’s
family normally doesn’t send any food at the breakfast but it is still kind of an important thing.
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Firolta:
After marriage, another ritual is celebrated called firolta when the bride and the groom together
come to bride’s parent’s house. They spent a night or two there and come back to the groom’s
house. A lot of kind of food is made for that occasion mainly for the groom. In New Dhaka
wedding, the bride does go to her parents’ home and the groom may go with her, but it isn’t
celebrated as a ritual. And even if sometimes it is celebrated, it isn’t celebrated as grand as they
do in old Dhaka.

The Wedding Reception:

The wedding reception is to welcome the bride into her new home, thrown by the groom’s
family. This is to introduce the newlyweds to their family and friends. It is also seen as a chance
to return favors to the bride's family for their hospitality. In the past, this was a meal or feast that
was personally cooked by the bride for her in laws and close family members. But now it is
celebrated as magnificent as it can be.

Decoration:
When it comes to wedding decorations, it’s not only the flowers. Starting from the lights to table
center piece, there’s a lots of things to decorate. Normally the stage and the gate is the most
important part of any kind of wedding decoration. In Old Dhaka, from gaye holud to wedding
reception, everything is decorated extravagantly. They use flowers, lights and sometimes colorful
papers too. They don’t normally have a theme for the wedding. Maybe sometimes for the
sangeet. They mostly have indoor weddings. Floral ornamentation, elaborate settings for the
stage and sit down areas are all given importance. The table for the bride and groom to have their
meal is the biggest and the most beautifully decorated one. In short, old Dhaka people make their
weddings as fanciful as they can. But in New Dhaka, people do decorate weddings beautifully
but in a more elegant way than Old Dhaka. Sometimes they maintain a theme for the wedding.
Like- regal, classic, modern, vintage and outdoor. Now-a-days event managements do all the
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decorations. The decorations are a bit different in these two cultures, but in both them the
decorations are enchanting and delightful.

Figure 8: Outdoor Wedding in New Dhaka ( Source : Google) Figure 9 : Indoor Wedding in Old Dhaka (Source: Google)

Food:
Old Dhaka food is something to die for. They have so many dishes for every events of the
wedding. Biriyani is their specialty. It’s a must be dish in every wedding of theirs. Nevertheless,
there are many other side dishes. Like- kabab, luchi, morog pulao, khashir mangsho,borhani.
‘Boro baaper polay khay’ is one their famous dish. They start the meal course with ‘naan’ and
‘goru mangsho’( beef). Then the rest of the courses start to come. A whole chicken for the bride
and groom is served. At two different kind of sweet is served. They serve both borhani and
carbonated drinks sometimes. Giving paan after the meal is a must. Old Dhaka people drink
alcohol at the wedding. Normally in New Dhaka weddings, people don’t drink alcohol. A main
dish with some side dishes and some sweets are served. Carbonated drinks like- Coke, sprite is
served with them
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Figure 10,11 : Old Dhaka Wedding ( Source: Google)

Dress:
Everyone likes to dress up in a wedding specially the bride and groom. Close relatives and
family also like to show up in beautiful clothing’s. Although no matter how much Bangladeshi
culture has changed, Bengali women like to stay in traditional dress in wedding events. Their
dresses are glamorous and fancy as they can be. They wear saree, kamiz or lehenga. Mainly men
wear punjabi in a wedding. Mostly men in close relatives wear Punjabi. At the gaye holud, bride
wears a yellow or yellowish saree or lehenga with floral jewelries and the groom wears a yellow
or yellowish Punjabi. The groom wears a sherwani and a pagri on the head and the bride wears a
saree or lehenga with a veil at the wedding. In New Dhaka weddings, sometimes bride wears a
kamiz with a veil instead of lehenga or saree. Both of the bride and groom normally wear red at
their wedding. Nevertheless, now a day in New Dhaka weddings, red isn’t always worn at the
weddings. And the groom doesn’t always wear a’pagri’. At the wedding people like to wear
bright colors that represents happy occasion. However, at wedding reception people like to wear
light colors as they represent simplicity. The bride wears a light color lehenga or a saree and the
groom wears suit. But now in New Dhaka weddings, the bride sometimes wears a gown. The
groom family gives all the dresses of the bride for wedding events and the bride’s family gives
the dresses for the groom. In both of the cultures, wedding attires are the same. However, in old
Dhaka people like to be more fanciful in their attires, whereas in new Dhaka people like to be
more elegant with their attires.
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Figure 12 : Bride in Old Dhaka Reception ( Source: Google) Figure 13 : Bride in New Dhaka Reception( Source: Google)

Conclusion
Therefore, after doing my research on new Dhaka and old Dhaka weddings, I succeeded to prove
that New Dhaka and Old Dhaka weddings are similar but not the same. In almost all parts of the
weddings, these two cultures have shown differences.

Old Dhaka and New Dhaka wedding cultures were the same once but with time, they evolved
into two different cultures. We should not abandon but rather preserve and cherish our cultural
norms that connect us to our ethnic origins.