Topic 4 Parallel Structure, Redundancy, Wordiness

1.
•PARALLEL STRUCTURE
2. •WORDINESS
3. •REDUNDANCY
BY:
FARAZ AHMED
PGC BAHAWALPUR
1-PARALLEL STRUCTURE
WHAT IS PARALLEL STRUCTURE?
Parallel structure is used to balance nouns with nouns,
prepositional phrases with prepositional phrases, participles
with participles, infinitives with infinitives, clauses with
clauses.
Examples:
1. Nouns:
Nancy likes playing the piano, the trumpet and play the guitar.
Nancy likes playing the piano, the trumpet and the guitar.
MORE EXAMPLES:
Examples:
2. Verbs:
She played basketball, had a shower and gone to school.
She played basketball, had a shower and went to school.
3. Adjectives:
Martin felt the movie was boring, silly, and was too long.
Martin felt the movie was boring, silly, and long.
4. Adverbs:
He does his work neatly, carefully and with attention.
He does his work neatly, carefully and attentively.
RULES OF PARALLEL STRUCTURE:
1. Use parallel structure with elements joined by coordinating conjunctions.

When you connect two or more clauses or phrases with a coordinating
conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so), use parallel structure.
Example-1: (Examples of parallel words)
Example-2: (Examples of parallel phrases)

Example-3: (Examples of parallel clauses)

HOW TO REPAIR FAULTY PARALLELISM:
Example #1
HOW TO REPAIT FAULTY PARALLELISM:
Example #2
(2) Use parallel structure with elements in lists or in a series.
A series is a group of three or more elements in a row. The last element in the
series is connected to the others with one of these coordinating conjunctions: and,
or, but (not), or yet (not).
Example #1
Example #2
3. Use parallel structure with elements being compared
by using ‘than’ or ‘as’.
Examples:
Example-1:
MORE EXAMPLES:
Example-3:
• Learning at university is more difficult than to study at high school.
• Learning at university is more difficult than studying at high school.
Example-4:
• What you actually do is a better indication of your true motives
than your words.
• What you actually do is a better indication of your true
motives than what you say.
4. Use parallel structure with elements joined by a linking verb
or any form of verb ‘be’.
Examples:
Examples:
5. Use parallel structure with elements joined by a correlative
conjunction.
either / or neither / nor both / and not only / but also
Example-1: Examples with either / or and neither / nor

MORE EXAMPLES:
Example-2: Examples with both / and
MORE EXAMPLES:
Example-3: Examples with not only / but also
FAULTY PARALLELISM:
Repair faulty parallelism with correlative conjunctions by making
one structure parallel to the other.
With either / or:
FAULTY PARALLELISM:
With neither / nor:
FAULTY PARALLELISM:
With both / and:
FAULTY PARALLELISM:
With not only / but also:
WORDINESS
The use of more words than necessary to

effectively convey meaning in speech or writing.
RULES AND TECHNIQUES
1. Use Active voice instead of Passive voice.
2. Avoid Use of the First Person
3. Delete unnecessary “that”, “who”, & “which” clauses.
4. Expletive constructions (empty additional expressions,
usually introduced by “there is/there are/it is”, etc.
5. Replace “is/am/are/was were/have+ an -ing word” to a
Simple Present or Past Tense Verb.
6. Avoid Redundant Elements.
1. Use Active voice instead of Passive voice.
Wordy: The gathering clouds are emphasized by the artist, but the approaching
storm does not seem to be noticed by the children. (21 words)
Concise: The artist emphasizes the gathering clouds, but the children do not seem
to notice the approaching storm. (17 words)
Wordy: The elephant is killed by Orwell even though the villagers are no longer
threatened by it. (16 words)
Concise: Orwell kills the elephant even though it no longer threatens the villagers.
(12 words)
2. Avoid Use of the First Person
Wordy: I think that George's wife is unhappy because George ignores

her.
Concise: George's wife is unhappy because George ignores her.
(8 words)
Wordy: I believe that the storm clouds suggest the danger that, in my
opinion, children sometimes ignore. (16 words)
Concise: The storm clouds suggest the danger that children
sometimes ignore. (10 words)
3. Delete unnecessary “that”, “who”, & “which” clauses.
Wordy: George's wife is a woman who is unhappy because of the

fact that George ignores her. (16 words)
Concise: George's wife is unhappy because George ignores her.
(8 words)
Wordy: In this day and age, people are under the impression that
it is important to express ideas in a concise manner.
(21 words)
Concise: Today, people think it is important to express ideas
concisely. (10 words)
4. Avoid "There is" and "There are" Constructions
Wordy: There are children that are playing near the base of the
mountain. (12 words)
Concise: Children are playing near the base of the mountain. (9 words)
Wordy: There is a snow-capped mountain that appears on the left, and

there are storm clouds that are gathering in the background.
(21 words)
Concise: A snow-capped mountain appears on the left, and storm
clouds are gathering in the background. (15 words)
5. Replace “is/am/are/was were/have+ an -ing word”
to a Simple Present or Past Tense Verb.
Wordy: George is reading his book while his wife is looking out the
window. (13 words)
Concise: George reads his book while his wife looks out the window.
(11 words)
Wordy: Storm clouds are gathering over the mountains. (7 words)
Concise: Storm clouds gather over the mountains. (6 words)
6. Avoid Redundant Elements.
Wordy: We are looking for a solution at the present moment.

Concise: We are looking for a solution now.
Wordy: Due to the fact that he called, we waited.
Concise: Because he called, we waited.
Wordy: The meeting is for the purpose of discussing plans.
Concise: The meeting is to discuss plans.
Wordy: In spite of the fact that she agreed, she was sad.
Concise: Although she agreed, she was sad.
WHAT IS REDUNDANCY?
Redundancy means superfluity or using words unnecessarily
or using words for a second time.
Example-1:
• If all of us cooperate together, we will succeed.
• If all of us cooperate, we will succeed.
Example-2:
• The accused was guilty of false misstatement.
• The accused was guilty of misstatement.
MORE EXAMPLES:
Example-3:
• It was the general consensus of opinion that we must go to
the movie.
• It was the general consensus that we must go to the movie.
Example-4:
• The three brothers had nothing in common with each other.
• The three brothers had nothing in common.
MORE EXAMPLES:
Example-5:
• There was an ovation when the minister rose up to speak.
• There was an ovation when the minister rose to speak.
Example-6:
• The prices of Car companies have fallen down by 30% in the

last one week.
• The prices of Car companies have fallen by 30% in the last
one week.
MORE EXAMPLES:
Example-7:
• The final conclusion was to close the bakery.
• The conclusion was to close the bakery.
Example-8:
• The companies merged together last year.
• The companies merged last year.
COMMON REDUNDANCY:
REDUNDANT CORRECT REDUNDANT CORRECT
advance forward advance circle around circle
advance planning planning close proximity proximity
appears to be Is combine together combine
as to whether whether completely eliminate eliminate
attach together attach completely finished Finished
basic essentials essentials connect together Connect

consensus of opinion
blue in color blue Consensus
follow after follow repeat again Repeat

COMMON REDUNDANCY:
descend down
but nevertheless nevertheless Descend
cheaper in cost cheaper disappear from view Disappear
each and every day each day, every day, daily original source Source
end result result past history History
few in number Few penetrate into Penetrate
filled to capacity filled personal opinion Opinion

postponed until later
final outcome outcome Postponed
first priority priority refer back Refer

COMMON REDUNDANCY:
Free Gift Gift Return back Return
Gather together Gather Separate apart Separate
Important Essentials Small/large in size small, large

Essentials
Last of all Last Square/round in shape square/round
Surround
Lift up Lift Surround on all sides
Total annihilation/
Local resident Resident Annihilation/extinction/destruction
extinction/destruction
Facts
May possibly Possibly True facts
Never at any time Never Violent explosion Explosion

New beginning Beginning 3 p.m. in the afternoon 3:00 p.m.
Thank You

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1.

1. Use parallel structure with elements joined by coordinating conjunctions.

Example-2: (Examples of parallel phrases)

Example-3: (Examples of parallel clauses)

Example-1: Examples with either / or and neither / nor

The use of more words than necessary to

1. Use Active voice instead of Passive voice.

2. Avoid Use of the First Person

Wordy: I think that George's wife is unhappy because George ignores

3. Delete unnecessary “that”, “who”, & “which” clauses.

Wordy: George's wife is a woman who is unhappy because of the

Wordy: There is a snow-capped mountain that appears on the left, and

Wordy: We are looking for a solution at the present moment.

• The prices of Car companies have fallen down by 30% in the

advance forward advance circle around circle

advance planning planning close proximity proximity

appears to be Is combine together combine

as to whether whether completely eliminate eliminate

attach together attach completely finished Finished

basic essentials essentials connect together Connect

follow after follow repeat again Repeat

cheaper in cost cheaper disappear from view Disappear

end result result past history History

few in number Few penetrate into Penetrate

filled to capacity filled personal opinion Opinion

first priority priority refer back Refer

Important Essentials Small/large in size small, large

Never at any time Never Violent explosion Explosion

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