Instructional Material

For UNINDRA Use Only

CROSS CULTURAL UNDERSTANDING

Department of Language Development

Eli DK.

Universitas Indraprasta PGRI

Jl. Nangka No. 58 C ( Jl. Tb Simatupang Tanjung Barat, Jakarta Selatan
Telp. (021) 78835283, 7818718, fax 29121071,29121070
Website : http//: www. Unindra.ac.id Surel : [email protected]
Jakarta 2016
 Contents
HAL
PREFACE…………………………………………...……….. i
CONTENS……………………………………………………. ii-iii

CHAPTER I Cross Cultural Understanding…………..…… 1

What is cross culture………………………..... 1

CHAPTER II Culture………………………………………... 3
Introduction of Culture……………….……… 3
Definition of Culture…………………….…… 4
Learning Theories…………………………… 5
Culture Pattern Behavior…………………. 6
Visible Features of Culture………………….. 8
Invisible Aspects of Culture…………....……. 8
The Importance Understanding…………….. 10
Educational System………………………….. 12

CHAPTER III Culture Shock……………………………….... 14

Cultural Adjustment…………………………. 15
The Re- Entry Adjustment Process………….. 18
How to cope with culture shock……………... 20

CHAPTER IV Family Custom……………………………….. 22

American Family Values…………………...… 23
Principles and Values………….………..……. 23
Making Friends……………………………...... 24
Thanks giving………………………………… 25
Valentine’s Day………………………………. 25
Subsistence……………………………………. 27
Shared-Belief……………………….…………. 27
Ten Myths That Prevent Collaboration 27

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CHAPTER V
Society………………………………………… 32
Family Tradition…………………………….. 32
Cuisine ……………………………………….. 33
Birthstones……………………………………. 34
Kinship in America…………………………... 35

CHAPTER VI American Leadership……………………… 40

Leadership……………………………..……. 40
Background………………………………… 40
Other courtesies…………………………….. 42
Walking in public…………………………… 42
Daily Manner…………………………….…. 42
Table Manner………………………………. 42
American Bathroom………………..……… 43
Telephone Manner……………………...….. 45
Work Value ……………………………….. 46
Time and Space Pattern…………………… 47
Cultural Conflict…………………………… 48

CHAPTER VII American Culture Categories……………... 51

Source of American Culture………………. 55

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 CHAPTER I

Cross Culture Understanding

What is cross culture?

Terminology within the cross cultural communication field can sometimes be

baffling to those reading the literature,websites or promotional material.Many ask what
is the difference between ’intercultural’ and ’cross cultural’? What is ‘cross cultural
awarennes’ as opposed to ’cross cultural knowledge’ or, are ’cultural sensitivity’ and
’cultural competence’ the same thing?

With a view to clarifying some of the above mentioned terminology,this module

will examine terms used in relation to building cross cultural understanding within the
need of learning english as a foreign language.

Cross cultural understanding simply refers to the basic ability of people within
bussines to recognize, interpret and correctly reaction to people,incidences or situations
that are open to misunderstanding due to cultural differences. The fundamental intention
of cross cultural training is to equip the learners with the appropriate skills to attain
cross cultural understanding.

Once the foundations of cross cultural understanding have been laid ,the
learners, either through continued training or experiences within the workplace,
gradually attains a more acute appreciation of cultural differences. The different types
of appreciation are cross cultural knowledge, cross cultural awareness, cross cultural
sensitivity and cross cultural competence. Although all the terms may appear similar in
meaning, suitable differences exist between them.

‘Cross Cultural Knowledge’ is critical to basic cross cultural understanding

Without it, cross cultural understanding. Without it, cross cultural appreciation cannot
take place. It refers to a surface level familiarization with cultural characteristics,
values, beliefs and behaviors
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 ‘Cross Cultural Sensitivity’ is a natural by-product of awareness and refers to
an ability to read into situations, context and behaviors that are culturally rooted and be
able to react to them appropriately. An suitable response necessities that the actor no
longer carries his/her own culturally determined interpretations of the situation or
behavior (i.e. good/bad, right/wrong) which can only be nurtured through both cross
cultural knowledge and awareness.

‘Cross Cultural Competence’ is and should be the aim of all those dealing with
multicultural client, costumers or colleagues. ’Competence’ is the final stage of cross
cultural understanding and signifies the actor’s ability to work effectively across
cultures. Cross cultural competency is beyond knowledge, awareness and sensitivity in
that it is the digestion, integration and transformation of all the skills and information
acquired through them, applied to create cultural synergy within the workplace.

2
 CHAPTER II

CULTURE

1. Introduction of culture is given to children since the process of growing up

where they have to know:

Ways of doing thing

<> ways of expressing themselves

<> ways of looking at things

<> what things they should avoid

<> what is expected from them

<> what they may expect from others

We can also say that Culture Determination may be seen in: action, social,
relationships, moral conviction, attractions, revulsions, Institutions, art and
literature.

These steps must be obtained until they are able to communicate with other
cultural background mainly they have to be able to:

<> Understand cultural behavior

<> Recognize the influence of cultural sides

If not when we meet a different set of behavior patterns or a different set of values

We may be shocked and embarrassed. Then consider the speakers of the language
we are learning as strange, stupid, not well manner, etc.

3
2. Definition of Culture

Culture is like an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg is easy to see. This
includes the visible aspects and do’s and taboos of working in other cultures.

The remaining huge chunk of the ice berg hidden below the surface
includes the invisible aspects of a culture such as the values, traditions,
experiences and behavior that define each culture

Venturing into different cultures without adequate preparation can be just

as dangerous as a ship maneuvering icy waters without charts, hoping to be lucky
enough and avoid hitting an iceberg. The difference is that the ship will know
immediately when hits an iceberg.

Table Divers Definitions of culture refers to publication of Alferd Krober

and Clyde Kluckohn, American anthropologists in 1959

Culture consist of everything on a list of topics, or categories, such as

Topical
social organization, religion, or economy

4
 Culture is social heritage or tradition that is passed on to future
Historical
generations
Behavioral Culture is shared, Learned human behavior, a way of life.
Normative Culture is ideals, values or rules for living.
Culture is the way humans solve problems of adapting to the
Functional
environment or living together
Culture is a complex of ideas, or learned habits, that inhibits impulses
Mental
and distinguish people from animal
Structural Culture consist of patterned and interrelated ideas, symbols or behaviors

Symbolic Culture is based on arbitrarily assigned meaning that

3. Learning theories

Culture is everyday lifestyle of ordinary citizens and the value belief and
prejudices they share with their fellow within their linguistic and social group
because of the intra group differences (of social class)

1. Edward Sapir : Culture is patterned behavior.

2. Good enough : Knowing acceptable manner to its member.

3. John Done : The collective identity of each of us is a part.

4. Larson and Smalley : Blue prints that guide behavior of people in a

community and is developed

5. Condon : A system of integrated pattern, most of which

unconsciously govern human behavior likes ….of

puppet

6. George Peter Murdock : The seven culture patterns of behavior.

a. Originate in human brain

5
 b. Facility human and environmental
interaction
c. Satisfy basic human brain
d. Cumulative and adjust to change in
external and internal condition.

Culture Pattern Behaviors

1. Explicit Culture : verbal and non verbal behavior regular

observation on the member.

2. Explicit Culture : The model cognition wants interpersonal

response a strait and attitude in society

3. Cultural Values : The important class of belief shared by the

member a society concerning what is good

4. Cultural Belief : This includes all cognition ,ideas , knowledge,

lore a superstition myths and legends

shared by most member of society in various

positions in the society

5. Cultural Norms : The rules or standards accepted by the members

of society (a teacher should have intellectual

competence)

6. Cultural More : Are called folkway when conformity to term is

no considered vital to the welfare of the group

6
 and when the means of enforcing conformity its

basic moral values (man should wear a tie

formal occasion)

7. Mores and Norms : Which specify behavior of vital importance to

the society and which embody its basics more

value.

Unique male-female experience and are treated dissimilarly by their adult

role models. For example, social researchers claim that educational environments
traditionally do little to help girls feel capable of a career in science, while
encouraging boys to study mathematics. Grey believes the socialization process
for men and women is one reason they often fail to connect with their inter-gender
communications. In a recent study of executive men and women, the Harwich
group found significant differences in the perspective men and women towards
female corporate leaders. Nine of every ten women cited continued gender barriers
towards their advancement where the majority of men saw little, if any issue for
concern.

Existing national statistics support a view that corporate America is not

gender balance playing field;

● Women make up half the U.S work force but account for less than four percent
of the nation’s top executive.

● Despite awarding 54 of graduate and undergraduate degrees to women, a

female manager can except to earn 68 of a male manager.

● Three of every four women report having been sexually harassed during their
educational of professional career.

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● Women managers are clustered into administrative and support functions. They
are more likely to support a decision maker than become a decision maker.

Visible Features of Cultures :

♣ Facial expressions

♣ Religious rituals

♣ Paintings

♣ Holiday customs

♣ Gestures

♣ Food

♣ Eating Habits

♣ Music

♣ Literature

♣ Styles of dress

Invisible Aspects of Culture :

♣ Values

♣ Concept of beauty

♣ Concept of fairness

♣ Child raising beliefs

♣ Understanding of the natural world

♣ Religious beliefs

♣ Importance of time

♣ Concept of leadership

♣ Nature of friendship

♣ General world view

8
♣ Work ethic

♣ Rules of social etiquette

♣ Concept of personal space

♣ Nations of modesty

9
 THE IMPORTANCE OF UNDERSTANDING CULTURE IN

STUDYING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE

●Learner can help to build the spirit

on international understanding and

? ►
friendliness

● Practicable with the culture of the

country where it is spoken

Learning Misunderstanding

Involves transfer &

Foreign
Helplessness
Language Cultural patterns
Interpretation

Cross Cultural

Misunderstanding

●Misinterpretsa
complex pattern

●Approached with
procencieved nation
Х Torelable,generous towards
strange ways that may be
shown by target language

Understanding

CCU

10
 Other Country
Informal and Equality
 Formal
America relationship
Informal and Equality between parents
 Easy relationship and children (no
between parents and equality) family
children (equal) family life
life  Include many
 Small unit family other family
member in one
roof

11
 EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM

EDUCATIONAL
In America

Moral, Parents
Teacher Skills
Religion
knowledge
daily

Honor
American dream
system
Students
●No gdenera(on gap

●Achieve a higher standard

Of living
Independe
●Preparing for career nt learning

Competition

Right
attitude
Charateristics of America

Education:

●Education for all.not for the elite

Career goals
●Decentralizied control

●A secular,non- religious base

●Opportunity open to both sexes

●A methodology basded upon the

philosophy of pragmatism

12
Women in America

Women in America Working Hard

Achieving Equality in:

● Political
● Social
● Economic

○ Political Campaign
○ Sits of Committee
○ Goes to Class of all kinds
○ Takes part in sports
○ Interest in children Activity
○ Education

The diagram above showed women great strides in many aspects of life.

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 CHAPTER III

A Culture Shock

What causes culture shock?

Culture shock is cause by unfamiliarity with the new country, inability to speak
the language fluently or understand many new idioms, and not knowing how to behave
in an unfamiliar culture. Not only is the language different, but the gestures, facial
expressions, and traditions are also different. Newcomers can sometimes feel like
children because they can not understand all these new things at once.

What are the stages of cultural adjustment?

There are four stages of cultural adjustment, though each lasts a different length
of time for every individual who experiences it. In general, the stages are:

STAGE 1

During the first stage, foreign visitors often feel excited. The new country is interesting,
the new people are friendly and helpful ,and the future looks promising.

STAGE 2

Problems. School, language, shopping, ---- everything is difficult, things that were
simple, back home require more effort in the new country. It seems hard to make
friends, and at this point, foreign visitors may begin to believe that. The local people are
unfriendly. Homesickness begins and along with it, complaints about the new country.
This is the stage we hear referred to as “CULTURE SHOCK”

STAGE 3

Recovery. The foreign visitors begins to use the language more fluently, so
communication with the local become easier. Customs and tradition become clearer,
and slowly the situation passes from impossible to hopeful. Minor misunderstanding
which were stressful in stage 2 become Manageable.
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STAGE 4

Stability. Eventually foreign visitors begin to feel more at home in the new country.
What they do not like about their new country no longer makes them so dissatisfied and
unhappy. Life has settled down, and they are now able to find humor in situations in
which they find themselves.

People who are experiencing culture shock worry and complain about all aspects
of life-the food, the weather, the people, etc. They worry about the minor ailments and
pains. They often become frustrated and angry over minor problems, and some often
refuse to learn the new language .Overall, they fell helpless and homesick, and want to
go home see relatives and talk with people who ”make sense”. People often do not fully
understand culture shock until they return home to their country, when they are
surprised to see their own country with their own new eyes. Although culture
adjustment takes place every time a person moves to another country, with each move
the shock usually lessens.

CULTURAL ADJUSTMENT

The Adjustment Process in New Culture

HONEYMOON PERIOD

Acceptance and
integration

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Honeymoon Period

Time frame : First week or two in host country

Characteristics : Exposure to country and culture is limited

Excitement andentusiasm abound

Everything is exotic and quaint

Attitude towards host country is general positive. Little is

expected of you.

Culture Shock

Time frame : First few week; first half of training

Characteristics : Winder exposure to country and culture means more realistic and
more mixed reactions. Enthusiasm is tempered with frustration.
Felling of vulnerability and dependence are common.
Homesickness is frequent nothing is routine limited language
ability undermines confidence close bonds are formed with other
trainees.

Initial Adjustment

Time frame : Second half of training

Characteristics : Routine are reestablished. Some aspects of the country & culture
are now seen as normal. Adjustment to the physical aspects of the
host country is better. Trainees are somewhat more self-reliant.
Trainees are more positive about their ability to function in
country. Adjustment is to the culture of pre-service training as
much as it is to host country culture.

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Mental Isolation

Time frame : First few months after training; satelling-in period

Characteristics : You experience post-training withdrawal symptoms. You’re

adjusting to being on your own in country it’s your first
experience taking care or your self in country. You’re having
your first encounters with the work-related aspects of culture,
with initial surprises and frustrations you miss daily contact with
Americans and HCNs who and your version of the local
language. You’re surprised at still having culture shock to go
through (you thought you adjusted during PST).

Acceptance and integration

Time frame : Post settling-in

Characteristics : You’re getting used to being own your own.

You’re better able to take care of your self.

You’re making friends in the community

You’re speak the language better

You’re more effective at work because you understand the

culture better.

Cultural Shock : people work/study in USA.

They don’t know the language, customs, behaviors

New habits in USA :

1. Speak directly to the point

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2. Respect of work
3. Americans believe in equality

What we can be happen during adjustment process(the responds):

1. Reject anything about new environment

2. Choosing the values of new environment and leave native culture away

The responds above are influenced by:

 Person’s personality
 Language ability
 Duration of stay
 Extend of differences between 2 cultures

The Re-entry Adjustment Process

Acceptance and Integration

Return Anxiety

Adjustment

Time Frame : Second half of training

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Characteristic : Routine are reestablished. Some aspects of the country & culture
are now seen as normal.

Adjustment to the physical aspects of the host country is better.

Trainees are somewhat more self-reliant.

Trainees are more positive about their ability to function in

country.

Adjustment is to the culture of pre-service training as much as it

is to host country culture.

Mental Isolation

Time Frame : First few months after training; settling-in-period.

Characteristic : You experience post-training withdrawal symptoms

You’re adjusting to being on your own in the country.

It’s your first experience taking care of yourself in country.

You’re having your first encounters with the work-related

Aspects of culture, with initial surprises and frustration.

You miss daily contact with Americans and HCNs who

understand you and your version of the local language

You’re surprised at still having culture shock to go through (you

thought you adjusted during PST).

Acceptance and Integration

Time Frame : Post settling-in

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Characteristics : You’re getting used to being on your own.

You’re better able to take care of your self

You’re making friends in the community

You’re speak the language better

You ‘re more effective at work because you understand the

culture better

Cultural Shock : people work/study in USA

They don’t know the language, customs, behaviors.

How and condition of culture shock ?

As the world grows smaller, as ever increasing numbers of people travel, work
or study abroad, no more attention s being focused on a kind of silent sickness that often
afflicts the inexperienced traveler or the unwary expatriate.

It’s the loss of emotional equilibrium where he has learned to function easily and
successfully to one where he has not. The term used to describe this Malady is “culture
shock”. The effect of culture shock may range from mild uneasiness or temporary
homesickness to acute unhappiness or even, in extreme cases, psychological panic.
Irritability, hyper-sensitivity and loss of perspective are common symptoms. Often the
victim doesn’t know what the matter with him is. He just knows that something’s
wrong-and he feels miserable.

Most expert in intercultural communication agree that the basic cause of culture
shock is the abrupt loss of the familiar, which in turn causes a sense of isolation and
diminished self-importance . ‘Culture Shock’, says anthropologist KALVERO
OBERG, ”is brought on by the anxiety that resulted from losing all our familiar signs
and symbols of social intercourse these signs or cues include the thousands and one way
in which we orient ourselves to the situation of daily life; when to shake hand and what

20
to say when we meet people; when and how to give orders to servants; how to make
purchase; when to accept and when to refuse invitation; when to take statements
seriously and when not.

According to Dr. Oberg, these cues, which may be words, gestures, facial
expressions or costumes, are required by all of us in the course of growing up and are as
much a part of our culture as the language we speak or the beliefs we accept. All of us
depend for our peace of mind of hundreds of these cues, even though we way not be
consciously aware of them. ”When an individual enters a strange culture,” Dr. Oberg
says, all or most of these familiar cues are removed. He or she is like fish out of water.
No matter how broad-minded our full of good will he may be, a series of props has been
knocked out from under him.

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 CHAPTER IV

A. Family Custom

It is extremely difficult to be specific about the American family

because of many regional, religious and national backgrounds that are found in the
U.S. These ideas about American families are generalizations and may not be true
of families that you meet. These are several different combination of people that
may make up the family unit. The family you meet may be composed of a mother,
father and children, but other families you meet may be composed of a single
parent with children, two or more professional person who live together, a
husband and wife with no children at home or no children at all, or an adult who
lives alone has close friends that share special times and activities.

In many families, both husband and a wife are employed away from
home Few American families have servants. At most, they have may have
someone to stay with children while they are away (“a babysitter”)or someone to
do weekly cleaning or yard work as it is needed. Household responsibilities are
often shared among family members, including children. One’s sex no longer
necessarily determines family responsibilities. Jobs that were one performed
mainly by women such as cooking and cleaning and those once performed mainly
by men such as taking care of the car and yard are often done by either sex.

Traditional patterns are still followed in some families. American

families often share more than household duties. For example, husbands and
wives may share in making decisions and taking responsibility for other families
members. The opinions of children are often asked for and accepted and children
are often included entertaining.

The individuality and autonomy so valued by Americans has extended

into the family setting to the extent that individual rights within the family are
enforced by law. It is now illegal, for example, for an individual to use physical
force on another even though that person may be his/her spouse or child. What
was considered ’’descipline” or exercise of authority within the family is now a
22
 matter for official intervention. Neighbors may report such instances to the police.
In addition, professionals such as teachers and doctors are required to report
suspected instances of physical abuse to the authorities.

B. American Family Values

Value is the most priority stage in social life. Value described as the
quality of being useful or desirable, or wealth of something. There’s no specific
education for getting ”value”, value transmitted side by side with how people
think, act and, behave that may express the positive attitude in social etiquette.
People will not fell somewhat disoriented by having personal value. Family value,
moral value, work value, like promptness in business academic and social
settings, future oriented, privacy, and educational attitude, etc

Parents teach their children about the principles and values of free
individuals in a free society. Although at times they may fail, they work
tirelessly to be men and women of integrity, self-discipline, proactively,
humanity and empathy. They believe in the principle of Human freedom to
ensure they sustain their families their families by living in ”synch” with the
earth and our universe.

What messages do parents send to their children?

As their children grow within family they formulate their principles,

value and expectation of life. There are certain natural principles that have been
built into our founding documents.

C. Principle and Values

Now here is a good question:”what is the difference between a principle

and value?’This has many answers depending upon you ask. From the world
Book Dictionary, a value is an established ideal of life, objects, customs, ways of
acting, and the like, that the members of a given society regard as descramble.
Again, from the world Book Dictionary, a principle is a fundamental belief, a rule

23
 of action or conduct, a truth. In simple terms, Values are the building blocks of
principles show how values are related to each other. Examples of values might
be:1.Life,2.Liberty and 3.The Pursuit of Happiness.

And treat each other with dignity until a free individual proves through
their actions and words that they are unworthy.

D. Making Friends

Americans are curious about many things and may ask you many
questions. Some of the questions may appear ridiculous, uninformed and
elementary, and even rude, but try to be patient in answering them. You may be
the first foreign national of a particular country whom they have met and they
probably have little understanding of life in your country. Most Americans are
sincerely interested in learning more about you and your culture.

It is sometimes difficult for international students to understand how

Americans form and maintain friendships. In this fast-passed society, friendships
may be transitory and are often established to meet personal needs in particular
situation. The casualness of friendship patterns in the United States allows people
to move freely into new social groups. These groups usually from around work,
school, shared interests, or places of residence. Most mature Americans readily
welcome new people into their social groups.

Americans have many interests and engage in variety of activities so the

warmth expressed in one meeting, while genuine and sincere, and may be
confined to that occasion.

Close friendships are the result of repeated interactions between

individuals as they identify similarities In a point of view and share variety of
experiences. It is possible that some American family customs will bother you
because they are very different from your own.

24
 To help you enjoy your visit more, try to discover what in the two
cultures is behind the differences in customs. Look for similarities and enjoy or
overlook the differences. If you are late, the person you were to see may be unable
to meet with you.

E. Thanksgiving
The city of El Paso, Texas claims the first thanksgiving was held in what
is not known as the United States, but it was not a harvest celebration. Spaniard
Don Juan de Onate ordered his expedition party to rest and conducted a mass in
celebration of thanksgiving on April 30, 1598.
The first recorded Thanksgiving ceremony was on September 8, 1565 in
what is now Saint Augustine, Florida. Six hundered Spaniard settlers under the
leadership of Don Pedro Menendez de Aviles landed at what would become the
city and immediately held a Mass of Thanksgiving for their safe delivery to the
New World, followed by a feast and celebration. As the La Florida colony did
become part of the United States, this can be classified as the First Thanksgiving.
In 2000, the historian Bill O’Neal of Chartage, Texas, published the First
Thanksgiving : it happened in Texas.
On December 4, 1619, a group of 38 English settlers arrived at Berkeley
Hundred which comprised about eight thousand acres (32km2) on the north bank
of the James River near Herring Creek in area the known as Charles Cittie (sic)
about 20 miles upstream from Jamestown, where the first permanent settlement of
the Colony of Virginia had been established on May 14, 1607.
Barkeley Plantation continues to be site of annual Thanksgiving event to
this day. President George W.Bush gave his official Thanksgiving address in 2007
at Berkeley.
Derived from : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/thanksgiving.

F. Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s day is celebrated in many countries on February 14 as a

festival romance and affection. People send greeting card called Valentines to
their sweethearts, friends, and members to their families. Many valentine cards

25
have romantics verses, and other contain humorous picture and sayings. Many say
“ Be my valentine”. Valentine’s day parties and dance are often held. Many
people send flowers, chocolates, or some other gift to their wives, husband, or
sweet-hearts.

The earliest records of Valentine’s day in English tell the birds chose
their mates on that day. People used a different calendar before 1582, and
February 14 came on what is now February 24. Geoffrey Chaucer an English poet
of the 1300’s , wrote in the Parliaments of Fowl” for this was on St. Valentine’s
day, when every fowl cometh there to choose his mate” . William Shakespeare
also mentioned this belief in a Midsummer Night’s Dream. A character in the play
discovers two lovers in the woods and asks , “ St. Valentine is past : begin these
wood birds but to couple now ?”

Early Valentine Customs. People in England probably celebrate

Valentine’s Day as early as the 1400’s . some historians trace the custom of
sending verses on Valentine’s day to a Frenchman named Charles Duke of
Orleans. Charles was captured by English during the battle of Agincourt in 1415.
He was taken to England and put in prison. On Valentine’s day , he sent his wife a
rhymed love letter from his prison in the tower of London.

Many Valentine’s Day customs involved ways that single women could
learn who their future husbands would be. English women of the 1700’s wrote
men’s clay, and dropped them into water. The first paper that rose to the surface
supposedly had the name of woman’s true love.

One description of Valentine’s Day during the 1700’s tells how group of
friends met to draw names. For several days, each man wore his Valentine’s name
on his sleeve. The saying wearing heart on his sleeve probably came from this
practice.

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G. Subsistence

Human societies are often organized according to their primary means of

subsistence: social scientist identify hunter-gatherer societies, nomadic pastoral
societies, horticulturalist or simple farming societies, and intensive agricultural
societies, also called civilizations, Some consider industrial and post-industrial
societies to be separate from traditional agricultural societies.

H. Shared-beliefs

Peoples some of many nations united by common political and cultural

traditions, beliefs, or value are sometimes also said to be a society(for example:
Jude-Christian, eastern, western, etc).When used in this context, the term is being
used as means of contrasting two or more ”societies” whose representative
members represent alternative and competing worldviews.

I. Ten Myths That Prevent Collaboration Across Cultures

1. That simply by virtue of membership in a cultural group, a person will

be able to deal with others of that population in a culturally component
way. Not true.

If such person have assimilated the values and communication styles of the
Anglo cultures as their own, they may be even less tolerant of traditional
values or styles than Anglos. Equally important, they may not be trusted by
their own communities if they have internalized Anglo values.

2. That a member of a minority community who works in a mainstream

agency is able to represent his or her community. Not true.

Unless they are respected leaders within their communities, they are
not considered by their communities to be appropriate representatives
.Respected elders often provide leadership within ethnic communities.
However, the elders often have no role of visibility or authority within the
Anglo culture and must be “found”. In order to have an effective relationship
27
 with the ethnic community, trust and respect from the elders must be gained
first.

3. The single member of ”the” minority community can represent whole.

Not True

For example, there is no “Hispanic community” in most cities. There

are, rather, Hispanic communities. Individuals from Puerto Rico, Mexico,
Spain and Peru, for example, would not consider themselves to be from the
“same” community. We speak of the African American community, The
Hispanic community, the Asian community, and the Native American
community, when there really are no such communities. An analogy may
help clarify this myth.

Our view is like that of residents in a remote village in Australia when

the first tourist arrives. The villagers think that the visiting European
Americans, Russians, and Italians are all from the same community because
they try look so much alike (compared to the native Australians). The
villagers do notice that the tourist speak, look, move, and dress somewhat
differently from each other, but those differences are trivial compared to how
different the tourists as a group are from themselves.

The villagers than appoint one of the tourists and the representative,
for not only this group, but for all of the tourists that may some they arrive
from different touring companies and countries.

The analogy may sound absurd, but it is sadly accurate.

4. That an agency should chose a representative from a minority

community to represent that community’s interests to the agency. Not
true.

Anglo agencies should not presume to select representative for ethic

communities. Each community already has a leadership structure. Rather, the

28
 agency’s task is to identify the structure and then find a common ground for
communication, working with existing leadership in the particular
community.

5. That, because there are so many ethnic communities, it is not feasible,

or cost effective to have working relationships with them. Not true.

Selecting a minority representative will not work, but selecting a

minority Liaison can work. The role of liaison is not to represent a
community, but rather to understand the community’s leadership structure,
to win the trust and respect of that leadership, and to develop a working
relationship between the community and the agency. In order to do this
successfully, the liaison must be multicultural competent.

6. That the Anglo or dominant culture is the U.S. culture, not simply a
culture. Not true.

This is one of the most difficult myths, not from a logical point of
view, but because of invisible assumptions and expectations. For most
people reared as Anglo American assumptions and expectations are
presumed, unconsciously, to be “human” assumptions and expectations. If
we see someone speaking with a certain pitch of voice and gestures, we
assume that the person is agitated or angry, we rarely conceive the thought
that we might be misinterpreting their behavior because of our own cultures
norms. If someone else seems indifferent to a suggestion, again, we think
that we understand what we see. Our culturally based assumptions and
interpretations are so completely ingrained that we experience them
spontaneously-and invisibly.

Members of all cultures tend to internalize and become consciously

unaware of their own norms. For members of a dominant group in a culture
this condition is exaggerated, they are usually surrounded by people and
institutions based on their set of values. Thus that system is constantly

29
 reinforced, and they have less expose to contrasting values and behaviors
than do members of minority groups.

7. That the key differences in culture are lifestyle, language, foods, and
similar visible evidence of diversity, other taught in “diversity
appreciation” classes in Public schools. Not true.

The key differences, the “trust and respect breakers”, are not generally
the obvious differences. It is often the invisible differences to be
misinterpreted as personal violations of trust or respect. To assist in
unraveling these key differences, we developed the Normative
Communication Style and Value chart.

8. That cultural competence is something is something we each pick with

time, by working with persons who are different from ourselves. Not
true.

Cultural competence is a skill, and perhaps an ability that requires

substantial effort to learn. Working with someone from a different ethnic
tradition does not necessarily lead to uncovering differences in expectations,
communication styles, and values. And analogy is that of a married couple
that has lived together 50 years or more. Even they can fail to learn each
other’s underlying assumptions, expectations, and communication styles.
Instead of learning these invisible differences, they develop a reliable and
consistent misinterpretation, which leads to predictability in the
relationship, not understanding.

9. That collecting information from a community can be “task-based”

rather than “relationship-based.” Not true.

The basis for collecting information in many non-Anglo American

households is personal. That is, the accuracy of the information given to a
collector of information will be related to how well that the person is known
and trusted, not how important the information seems to be, this is a

30
 difference in values between Anglo American and other cultures. Whether
the person collecting the data is from the U.S. Census, the local university,
or any other place that might have credibility for Anglo Americans, this will
not ensure credibility or cooperation in other communities. One
consequences of this difference, since Anglo American agencies are usually
in charge of data collection, is that information gathered regarding
communities is often inaccurate, needs of the communities are often severely
under reported

The solution is not to send someone to the door that ”looks” as if he or

she fits in the neighborhood. The solution needs to be personal. The person
answering the door needs to already know and trust the person collecting the
information in order for the result to have strong validity. In order to do this,
the agency needs to work with the existing leadership structure of the
community to develop a mutually acceptable methods of collecting valid
information.

10. That written information is more reliable, valid, and substantial than
verbal information.

Again a very deep Anglo American value that is not shared by a

number of other cultures. If he person gathering the information is writing
down what is said, this often reduces credibility with minority cultures. Very
bad experiences have resulted from allowing someone from outside the
community to write down accurate personal or household information, such
as “How many people live in this household?”

For accurate community information to be obtained trusted community

information need to be engaged in the information collection process. They may
need to collect the information without pen in hand and the information may need
to be collected in a comfortable place away from the informant’s home

31
 CHAPTER V

Society

The casual meaning of society simply refers to a group of people living together in
an ordered community. The social sciences use the term society to mean a group of
people that form a semi-closed (or semi-open) social system, in which most interactions
are with other individuals belonging to the group. More abstractly, a society is defined
as a network of relationships between entities. A society is also sometimes defined as an
interdepended community.

The origin of the word society comes from the Latin societas ,”a friendly
association with others. ”societas is derived from socius meaning ”companion” and thus
the meaning of society is closely related to what is social. Implicit in the meaning of
society is that its members share some mutual concern or interest in a common
objective. As such, society is often used as synonymous with the collective citizenry of
a country directed through national institutions concerned with civic welfare.

1. Family Tradition

The United States is ”a melting pot” of cultures each with their unique
marriage Customs and Traditions. There has been a set of Customs and Traditions
generally accepted as a common to Marriage in The United States unless the
marriage is a common Law Marriage.

Dating is the accepted pre-engagement practice between couples. Families

generally establish requirements for the details of acceptable activities, time of
day, single our group dating etc. the age, personality and maturity of dating
children generally drive the conditions set by my parents if the children are still at
home.

Love between the couples is believed to be a prerequisite to marriage.

Proposal of marriage by the man and acceptance by the woman result is an

engagement. Couples enter into marriage with the belief that the relation ship is
32
 permanent. The engagement is marked by the gift of a engagement ring from the
man proposing to the woman accepting

A marriage rehearsal dinner is usually celebrate between the immediate

families of spouses in the late afternoon the day before the wedding the groom’s
family traditionally provides for this celebration.

A Bachelor party is held Party is held for the Groom and usually sponsored
by The Best man the night before the Wedding.

A Bridal Shower is usually sponsored by the Bride’s Maid. It has become

very popular now for the Bride’s Maid to also sponsor a Bachelorette Party for the
bride.

The Weeding Ceremony is most often performed as part of a religious

ceremony each with its own specific customs and traditions. On the day of the
weeding the Groom does not see the Bridge until the actual ceremony. As custom
would have it from Victorian Times: the Bridge wears something old, something
new, something borrowed, something blue, and sixpence in her shoe.

Rings are exchanged to mark the permanent commitment of the new spouses
to each other.

A Wedding Reception is usually held after the ceremony for all family and
friends to celebrate. The Bridge’s Family usually provides for this celebration

A Honeymoon is taken by the Bridge and Groom to secret place where they
go off for their first night together in Marriage. It is thought that the honeymoon
Customs was established to avoid the European Custom Charivari where family
and friends banged on pots and pans outside the couple’s bedroom their first night
of marriage.

2. Cuisine
Mainstream America culinary arts are similar to those in other Western
countries. Wheat is the primary cereal gain. Traditional American cuisine uses
33
 ingredients such as turkey, white-tailed deer venison, potatoes, sweet potatoes,
corn, squash and maple syrup, indigenous foods employed by American Indians
and early European settlers. Slow-cooked pork and beef barbecue, barb cakes,
potato chips, and chocolate chip cookies are distinctively American styles. Soul
food, developed by African slaves, is popular around the South and among many
African Americans elsewhere. Syncretic cuisine such as Louisiana Creole, Cajun,
and Tex- Mex are regionally important. Iconic American dishes such as apple pie,
fried chicken, pizza, hamburger, and hot dogs drive from recipes of various
immigrant. So- called French Fries, Mexican dishes such as burritos and tacos,
and pasta dishes freely adapted from Italian sources are widely consumed.
Americans generally prefer coffee to tea, with more than half the adult population
drinking at least one cup a day. Marketing by U.S. industries is largely responsible
for making orange juice and milk ( now often fat-reduced) ubiquitos breakfast
beverages. During the 1980s and 1990s, Americans’ intake rose 24% ; frequent
dining at fast food outlet is associated with that health officials call the American
“ obesity epidemic”. Highly sweetened soft drinks are widely popular ; sugar
beverages account for 9 % of the average American’s daily caloric intake.

3. Birthstones

The tradition of Birthstones goes back further than written history.

People wear jewelry containing stones designated for their Birth Month. The chart
below designates the Traditional Birthstones. See ”The Janic Tradition” web site
below for other system of Birthstones designation

MONTH TRADITIONAL STONE

January Garnet
February Amethyst
March Bloodstone
April Diamond
May Emerald
June Alexandrite
July Ruby

34
 August Sardonic
September Sapphire
October Tourmaline
November Citrine
December Zircon

4. Kinship In America

Most Native American social organization is based on kinship; there are,

of course, varying degrees to which individual societies are or were organized
along these lines, but a basic understanding of kinship-based societies is the first
requirement for approaching almost any Native American Culture.

Kinship-based societies organize human communities based on real,

biological relationships among the members of that community. These biological
relationship are both vertical and lateral.

In a kinship–based society, individual members are very knowledgeable

of their ancestry and how each other member of the society relates to them
through ancestry.

Marriage ,of course, adds an additional problem to this set up. When a
community does not allow marriage with members outside of the community, this
is called endogamous marriage means that individuals are marrying their relatives
in some way and so the line of descent remain fairly pristine. When a community
marries only members outside the community, this is called exogamous marriage
patterns. Such communities incorporate the one spouse into the other spouse’s
community, depending on which family the married couple settles down with.

Individual married couples and nuclear families almost never settle by

themselves ,but they move in with or next to one of the spouse’s family. In
exogamous marriage cultures, then one spouse must move out of their kinship-
based community and move to the other spouse’s community. If a society

35
demands that the wife move in with the husband’s family or move to the
husband’s community, that is patrilocal, or ”father located” kinship society.

If the husband must move in with the wife’s family community, that is a
matrilocal, or ”mother-located” kinship community.

Native American family life fits one of two profiles. Either families
include only the husband and wife and the first generation of their descendants this
is called nuclear family. The other alternatives are families in which married
couples from two or more generations live together as a family-this is an extended
family and was the most common family structure among native American.

All societies involve some level of authority. Kinship societies closely

ally that authority with kinship relations.

If authority in a family group lies with the women of the family, that
society is called matriarchal, or ”mother ruler” society; if authority in a family
group lies with the men of the family, that is patriarchal ”father ruler” society.

These three aspects of kinship-matrilineal versus patrilineal, matrilocal

versus patrilocal, and matriarchal versus patriarchal do not fit uniformly together.
Some Native American cultures were matrilineal, patriarchal, and matrilocal.
Some were bilateral, matriarchal, and combined matrilocality with patrilocality.

For almost all Native American societies, however, kinship was the most
silent aspect of social organization. The urbanized, like all other urbanized
cultures, replaced kinship-based social organization with other, more abstract
forms of social organization, such as class, which is the organization of society
according to economic or social function. some societies, such as the Mexico
(popularly known as the Aztecs),organized society around both classes and
kinship. Each economic class was composed of an entire kinship group which
functioned with its own limited authority.

36
 One of the important aspects of social organization becomes a cultural
arch-metaphor for understanding the rest of world ,both materially and spiritually.
in other words, cultures tend to believe that the material and non material worlds
are organized exactly the way their own society in organized. Urbanized cultures,
with abstract social organization, tend to construct the relationships inhering in the
material and non-material world to be organized around kinship systems. That is,
they see the entire world around them as a series vertical and horizontal kinship
relationships. The relationship of the divine to the human would be relationship
between a mother her children (or a father and his children). This insight is
perhaps the greatest aid in understanding the world view of almost all the native
American cultures you’ll encounter

The simplest agricultural society was an a cephalous, or ”headless”

society. Since agricultural communities do not move around, they are called
sedentary communities. These agricultural communities are considerably larger
than hunting-gathering bands and have considerably more social demands,
including property, use of resources, use of surpluses, questions of membership in
a community, and so on. In a cephalous society, the kinship group becomes larger,
more complicated and more structured. Since there is no head of society, it is up to
the individual kinship group within a community to groven themselves, Hence,
there is more hierarchy in each kinship group with certain members, because of
their place in kinship group, serving as heads of the group. When the kinship
group includes too many people, then the kinship groups-the combination of all
these segments forms a larger group, the clan.

Chieftaincies were the most common political structure among Native

American. A chieftaincy included more than one kinship group and often more the
one local settlement or clan. The principal role of the chief was to resolve conflicts
among groups; there developed beneath the chief and entire hierarchy of decision-
making. The roles of the chief varied tremendously from society to society. In
some, he was the chief arbiter of disputes and nothing more. In others, he was a
military leader and nothing more. In others, he was a religious leader. Among the
Iroquois, for instance, the chiefs served mainly as war leaders; the day to day
37
decision-making in the settlements, however, fell completely to the elder women
of the settlement. Iroquois society, then, was both centralized and a cephalous,
patriarchal and matriarchal.

Authority was vested in a chief either through a descent line or through

individual achievements. Some societies allowed for several chiefs of equal
authority; others limited the chieftaincy to only a single individual.

The basic unit of individual identity was the kinship group. Most Native
Americans also gained an identity from being part of a clan, which was a set of
related kinship groups, or part of a larger political structure. Native Americans,
though also gained identity through ethnicity and saw themselves and others in
relationship to ethnic groupings.

As ethnic group is any group that has a shared sense of common identity
and uniqueness. This common identity and uniqueness could be based on a
common language, a common myth of origin, or common social structures.
Suffice it to say that an ethnic group understands each member of the group to be
fundamentally similar to one another while being fundamentally different to
members of other ethnic groups.

While the Lakota, for instance, were comprised of several distinct

societies, they believed themselves to be a distinct people. Other ethnic groups
believed them to be a district people, too, and named them the Sioux.

The most common mistake that people make when dealing with ethnicity
is that they are regard it as a fixed or stable entity. if you’re Lakota. you’re Lakota,
period, Ethnicity, however, is remarkably fluid and unstable; it adapts and changes
to changing conditions, whether human environmental. So groups of people that
regard themselves as belonging to the same ethnic group may later find
themselves thinking of themselves as separate ethnic groups; in the same way,
other groups may get folded into the ethnic group. A society may regard itself as a
part of an ethnic group in one matter, but not in another. For instance, an Asian-

38
American may regard herself as belonging to the ethnic group, Asian-Americans,
as opposed to African-American and European-Americans and Native Americans.

39
 CHAPTER VI

American Leadership

A. Leadership

Leadership is the key to all Human Effort involving more than one
person. We understand we are leaders of ourselves and everyone with whom we
come in contact. Our attitudes and ideas can only make a difference if we are able
to influence the actions of another person through leadership. We must ensure that
the ideas and attitudes we project to our family, friends, and neighbors are truly
the ones we want to remembered by; for life is short but memories are long. The
World has long looked to The United States for leadership in Politics, Industry,
and Freedom for Individual.

B. Background

Leadership is the mechanism that moves more than one person in the
same ”cause”. The World looks to the United States to provide Leadership in
World Affairs. Leadership is at work in our homes, neighborhoods, workplaces
and everywhere we find more than one person in contact with another.

First let us look at the word Lead; “To guide someone or something
along a way”

Now let us look at the word Leader; ”A person who has commanding
authority or influence”

Leadership is a subject frequently discussed but very hard to describe or

prescribe. The ability of one human being to influence another is more of an ”art”
than a “science”. People choose to either follow another or follow themselves in
everything they do.

Attitudes and behaviors taught at home by parents in the end become

those things passed to children through the Leadership Role of Parents over

40
children. Parents are the people who generally offer the most lasting leadership
influence to their children. These attitudes and behaviors become the instinctive
internal ”Code” that a man or woman uses to lead themselves.

Characteristics

All great lasting leaders have certain characteristics in common;

1. They have principles and values.

2. They have a passion for what they believe.
3. They have a vision of where they are headed.
4. They know how to achieve their vision.
5. They understand the need to influence others into action.
6. They know how to influence others into action.
7. They do not give up their goal of achieving their vision.

In general there are many leadership styles. This is where many people
become confused in the execution of leadership. May people equate leadership
style to leadership itself. We may copy “The John Wayne” style for instance but
really not have a clear vision of where we are headed or a strong resolve to do so.
We may fail to motivate people to action through lack of effective communication
and believe that all we must do is act like ”John Wayne” in action.

All Leadership Styles are based around the personality of the Leader.
This comes into play in step 6 above: Leaders know how to influence others into
action. Without the other steps, the real work of leadership is left undone. In the
end we all must do the homework required by all of the steps and then use our
personality in adopting a style that will effectively influence others to action.
Through our personality, we communicate our Passion, Vision and Know How to
Motivate others to Action. Copying another person’s Leadership ”style” that does
not fit our personality will to work. We will just not be able to motivate people
into action pretending to be someone we are not.

41
Other courtesies:

Whenever a woman enters a room where a man is sitting, he rises and

remains standing until she either sits down or leaves. Men stand up for other men
too, if introductions are to be made. This is natural, for it’s awkward to shake
hands from sitting positions, it’s courteous also to stand when other men are
leaving. In the theatre, both men and women should stand when someone, anyone,
a man, a woman, or a child is trying to pass in front of a row of theatre seats.

Walking in public

When a man and woman walk together, they always on the street side of
the sidewalk. Ladies first when entering room, the women goes the door first,
before her male escort hours for meals

Daily manner

Lunch fairly light, Dinner begins as early as 5;30 pm (no later than 6;30
or 7;00 pm) (During working days; eight –hour-per day,6;00-8;00 am till 3;00-
5;30 pm). When guest have been invited, invitations for formal dinners are nearly
always for 8;00 pm (For weekends or special occasions)

Table manners

1. When in doubt as to what to do, watch your host or hostess and do likewise
2. In a restaurant, the man usually orders for women after she has consulted the
menu. The man always asks for the bill or the “check”
3. Some families observer the religious custom of saying a prayer or “blessing”
after they have sat down at the table and before they began eating. Heads are
bowed while a member of the family an adult or child says the player.
4. A guest always waits till the host or hostess picks up a fork or spoon and
begins eat. This is the signal for the others to begin.
5. If you are offered some food which you don’t want to eat, a polite ”No thank
you,” is all you need to say.

42
6. An eating implement, such as a knife of fork, should not be replaced on the
table cloth once it had been used, it should remain on the plate
7. keep the table and the table-cloth as clean as possible. Don’t put bones or
anything on the table. Things that are not eaten should be put on your plate.
8. The knife and fork placed diagonally and side by on the main plate is sign the
host(or to the waiter)that you have finished the main course and the plate may
be removed.
9. Light and friendly conversation is usually carries and during the meal,
complete silence because of absorption in food is to be avoided if possible.
10. Do not spit anything out. if there is something in your mouth that you cannot
swallow, quietly put it in your napkin and then go on (e.g. bones, seeds, etc.)
11. Don’t talk with food in your mouth! wait until you have swallowed
everything before talking
12. Don’t reach across the table or in front of someone to get something-that is
rude. Ask them to pass it to you
13. If you need to leave the table to the bathroom or do something say, ”Excuse
me for a moment, please”.
14. Watch how fast other are eating. Try not to be to slow or too fast. Keep up
with their places
15. When you are finished eating , say “What a delicious meal!” Thank you so
much”. Wait for all to be finished before leaving the table.
16. Don’t touch your nose, hair or teeth at the table.
17. Toothpicks a- are not usually on the table in a home. After a meal, go to the
bathroom and clean your teeth if you need to. In restaurants, they are usually
at the counter where you pay as you go out. Again, it is best to your teeth in
the bathroom.

American Bathroom

Bath tubes almost all always have a shower curtain put the curtain inside the
tub when you shower-keep the rest of the bathroom dry. Sometimes showers have
sliding glass door. Be sure they are closed when you take a shower. You might

43
ask your host before you get in the shower how to operate the shower. Each one is
a little different.

FLUSH the toilet after each use. Do not try to keep quite by not flushing.
Put the toilet paper in the toilet after use. B Do not put in the trash can. Close the
door when you go and leave it open when you come out.

Baths –usually are two different kinds:

1. Bath and shower in the hall

 The toilets are separate from the showers.

 Some have private rooms(stalls) for taking a shower
 Some have one large room with several shower heads where 4 to 6 people
shower together.
 Most dorms still have separate bathrooms for the men and the women. Be
sure and check on this before entering

2. Private bath

 Each room has its own toilet and shower.

 3 or 4 rooms may share one bath

Using a public bathroom:

1. Be as modest as possible(wear a robe when going down the hall, close the
Shower curtain when you are showering)
2. Be as quick as possible-others might be waiting.
3. Be as clean and dry possible.

Washing out underwear, etc.

Americans use washing machines for almost everything. Washing out your
underclothes in the bathroom sink is okay, but hang them in your own room to

44
dry; not in the bathroom. When using the toilet, be careful! Be accurate! Often
there are carpets on the bathroom floor, so do not get them wet. Put the Seat down
and close it before you leave the bathroom. Leave it clean and dry.

Telephone Manners

1. When you telephone someone and the person at the other end of the line
picks up the receiver always identify yourself before anything else. Say
Hello, this is……. Calling identify yourself by name, do not force the other
person to inquire who you are.
2. When someone telephones you say Hello and identify yourself. If the call is
for your roommate and the caller has not been identified himself a polite
who is calling ,please? Will be a courtesy to both your roommate and the
caller.
3. If you try to call someone and it seems you have got
wrong number, don’t Say What number is this?
Instead say I’m sorry. And than hang up, gently. If
the situation is reserved and someone has rung you
by mistake and caused you the trouble to answer the
phone say, I think you have the wrong number. This
is…..And then hang up.
4. If you telephone someone and want to talk longer just a minute or two, ask
first if it is a convenient time to talk. Your friend might have guest or we
planning to go out, so done put him or her in an awkward position
5. Don’t wake people up in the middle of the night or early in the morning.
Unless you are sure the other person is in the habit of keeping old hours,
never make any social telephone calls before nine in the morning or after
nine-thirty at night. Also, if no one answers after about six rings, you should
assume that the person on the other and doesn’t care to answer.
6. When a call is finished and you have said everything necessary, always say
Goodbye after concluding remarks. The person who makes the call is
usually the one who terminates it.

45
 Work Values
motivates
WORK Work Successfull
ethic

“Protestant ethic”

Workaholic Rewards and

s satisfacation

Work very hard

Personal and
financial

Personal relationship
Desirable:
Suffer and relaxation
“Work hard and play hard
Becomes secondary

SHUOLD BALANCE

Work hard joyful time

American attitudes Culture

Towards manual labour

Working with
his hands

Raise from
Tradition is the
humblebeginning To the top
glorification of the
through his own
self made man
effort

46
TIME Regulate Working fast

Wisely
Religious time
Promptness
Not wasting time

Taught in school
Future Business time

Time Bussines Appointment

Think”what’ /dating
Professional
s

Next” On time

The past is the Deal Keep

past Time is Money

Oppurtunity
Educational

Influenced by the way space is used

PRIVACY

♣ Children have their own room

♣American separating themselves

from others physically

♣Aplly in the house,street,dinner

47
 Intercultral
Miss Interpretation
Communication

 Assume that his/her

Culture is the best of
all
 Between
 Critizing other
members of
culture
different
culture
 √

Ethnocentrism

Stereotypes
 Prevent us from seeing
Prejudice people as individuals with
unique characteristics
 Used to generalizied other
member of the culture

1
2 3

For avoiding this cultural conflict,We should estabilish relationship with individual from
different religion cultures .But don’t lose our culture

48
No TERMS MEANING
1 A siesta Easy come/easy go
A person whom one knows but not a close friend not
2 Acquaintance
graceful,clumsy
3 Awkward Not graceful,clumsy
4 Bewilderment Unknowing
5 Blind spots Unknowing
That guides the behavior of people in a community and
6 Blue Print
is developed in family life
7 Co-existing Mixture
8 Contemporary Occurring or living at the same time
9 Cultural Conflict Misunderstanding of cultures
10 Cultural shock A result ofd total immersion in a few culture
To make greater in intensity or sizde than would be
11 Exaggerate
normal expected
12 Explicitly Plainly expresses
13 Folkways Way of an ethnic group of people forming a nation
14 Glorification Distinguished praisde or honor
15 Impatience Unwilling to wait or tolerant delay
16 Implicitly Understood but nit directly expressed
17 Leisure time The time of freedom from work or duty
18 Manual Labor Traditional work
19 Misinterpretation To understand or explain in corectly
The moral custom and traditional custom of a social
20 More
group
21 Norm A rule/model
22 Parochial Religious
23 Plumb Melted
24 Poring over Outside
25 Preconceived Early knowing
26 Prolonged To extend or lengthen in time
27 Promptness Arriving on time
28 Puckering Moving lips that has meaning
29 Reward Something given for a special service
30 Scholastic aptitude Intelligence
31 Stereotypes Aconventional opinion or belief
32 Superficial To have charge in directing the work of other people

49
33 Value The price of human behavior
34 View point Point of one’s sight

35 Workaholic A person who is never tired with working all day

36 Lifting Period
37 Total immersion Absorb
38 Prejudice Abaised opinion base on emotion
39 Harsh Envrionment Disagreeable envrionment
40 Bread winner The one whose pay support a household
The beliefs shared by the members of Society
41 Value
concerning What is ”good” or What ”ought to be
Folkways-using tie in formal occasions more-the basic
42 Norms
moral values-like many man as head of family

43 Circle of friends Office mate, a badminton partner

Because of moving or relocating attend discard colleges,

44 Mobility of friends
universities
friendliness; daily interactions, sharing live, (strangers)
45 Instant Frindship
but no strong bond-no continued friendship

46 Male-female friendship No fix-rules for intimate relationship

They are hesitant about interacting because of their

47 Intercultural friendship
linguistic and geographic isolation
The gradual adaptation to the target culture without
necessary for asking one’s native language identity as a
48 Acculturation
model of cute ring a new cluster and learning bilingual
for a child
The four stages of acculturation. Tourist - often
referred to as the degree of Culture shock.
Survivor - the stage of functional language and
49 Larry Selinker understanding culture.
Immigrant - the stage of students of workers
Citizen - for people living there that make them having
similar pronunciation and sensors
Is identified functionally on a clear and of behavior
50 The form
(breakfast: cereal, bacon, eggs, coffee)
Patterned forms have a complex of meaning-grouping
of culture may be part of the meaning a particular form
unit. Forms are relevant when they have meaning,
51 Meanings
Meaning purposes a form when it is relevant to us.
Meaningful forms occurs in patterned Distribution (e.g.
breakfast at 7 a.m. & breakfast at 10 am)

50
 CHAPTER VII

American Cultural Categories

1. Attitude Towards Age

 Emphasize physical beauty and youth.

 Fire older people to hire people less money
 Judge a worker’s worth based on production, not seniority

American view: the American emphasis on concrete achievements and “Doing”

means that age is not highly valued. For the older you are the less you can
accomplish. Age is also suspect because new is usually better in American culture,
and the elderly are generally out of touch with what’s new.

2. Concept Of Fate And Destiny

 You can be whatever you want to be
 Where there’s a will there’s a way
 The American dream is rangs-to-riches

American view: The concept of self-determination negates much of the influence

of fate and destiny. Parents tell their children they can be whatever they want to be
when they grow up. There are few givens in life, and people have little sense of
external limits. Lack of success is their own fault.

3. View Of Human Nature

 Courts consider a person innocent until he/she is proven guilty

 People should be given the benefit of the doubt.
 If left alone, people will do the right thing
 We need to discover how a vicious killer “went wrong”

51
 American view : People are considered basically and inherently good. If Someone
does an evil deed, we look for explanation, for the reason why the Person turned
bad. people can and should be trusted; and we are fairly open to Strangers, and
willing to accept them.

4. Attitude Towards Change

 New is better
 A better way can always be found; things can always be improved upon
 Just because we’ve always done it that way doesn’t make it right

American view : Change is considered positive, probably because Americans

believe in the march of progress and the pursuit of perfection. Improvements will
always move us closer and closer to perfection. Traditions can be a guide, but they
are not inherently superior.

5. Attitude Towards Taking Risks

 A low level of personal savings is typical

 You can always start over
 Nothing ventured, nothing gained
 A high level of personal bankruptcies is common

American view: There will always be enough opportunity to go around, so taking

risks, involves no real danger. For the truly ambitious, failure is only temporary.
Experimentation, trial and error are important ways to learn or to improve your
product

6. Concept Of Suffering And Misfortune

 People rush to cheer up a friend’s who depressed

 If you’re unhappy, take a pill or see a psychiatrist
 Be happy

52
 American view: Because we are ultimately in control of our lives and destiny, we
have no excuse for unhappiness nor misfortune. If you’re suffering or unhappy,
then just do whatever it takes to be happy again. If you’re depressed, it’s because
you have chosen to be.

7. Concept To Face

 It’s important to tell it like it is, be straight with people

 Confrontation is sometimes necessary to clear the air
 Honesty is the best policy

American Value : In individualist cultures, so no premium is put on saving face

because people can take care of themselves. What other people think is not crucial
to survival or success. We can say what we think without worrying about hurting
people’s feelings, and we likewise appreciate directness.

8. Source Of Self Esteem/ Self Worth

 People judge you by how much money you make

 First question at a party is ”what do you do?”
 Material possession are a measure of success

American View : In an individualist culture, you are what you’ve achieved; that is,
you create your own worth rate; than receiving it by virtue of birth, position
seniority ,or longevity. Your self-esterm comes from what you have done to earn
self-esterm.

9. Concept Of Equality

 People try to treat everyone the same

 While jogging, the President stops at Mc Donald’s for morning coffee
 Putting on airs is frowned upon.

American View : In a strong reaction to the repressive class structure in Europe.

Americans created a culture virtually built around egalitarianism: the notion that
53
 no one is superior to anyone else because of birth, power, fame, or wealth. We are
not all the same, but we are all equal value.

10. Attitude Towards Formality

 Telling someone to help themselves to what’s in the refrigator is common

 Using first name with people you’ve just met is fine.
 Using titles like “Dr” for someone with a PhD is presumptuous.

American View : Because of strong egalitarian ethos, Americans tend to be casual

and informal in social and professional interactions. Informality is also more
necessary in a mobile society where people are always meeting new people. We
don’t stand on ceremony, nor use tulles or rank in addressing each other.

11. Degree Of Realism

 Things will get better.

 Bad things happen for a reason
 It can’t get any worse
 Tag lines of fairy tales; “They lived happily ever after.”

American View : Largely because of the nation that the individual is in control
Americans are generally optimistic. We don’t see things the way they are, but as
better than they are, particularly if they’re not so good. We fell it’s important to be
positive and that there is no reason to be

12. Attitude Towards Doing

 Doing is preferred over taking

 The absentminded professor, the ivory tower reflects anti-intellectualism
 Arts are an adornment of life but not control to it.

American view : Individuals survive because they get things done, generally on
their own. Words and talk are suspect and cheap; they don’t put food on the table
or a roof over your head. Pursuits not directly related to the creation of concrete
54
 results, e.g., academia, the arts, are less highly valued. What is practical and
pragmatic is favored over what is beautiful and inspiring.

13. View Of The Natural World

 Building dams to control rivers

 Seeding clouds to produce rain
 Erecting earthquake-proof buildings
 Spending billions annually on weather prediction

American View : The natural world is a kind of mechanism or machine that can
be studied and known and whose working can be predicted, manipulated, and
ultimately controlled. It is not to feared.

Sources of American Culture

1. Protestantism
A strong work ethic-work is intrinsically good and the nation of predestination,
that salvation is apparent through worldly success.
2. American Geography
The frontier, unlimited resources and opportunity ,isolation, sparse population,
distance from Europe.
3. Escape From Oppression
From religious and economic repression and rigid class system and social
stratification.
4. The Nature Of The American Immigrant
Out of the mainstream in home country, dissatisfied with lot in life, welling to
take risks, adventuresome.

TRAITS
1. Limited sense of fatalism, of accepting things as they are
2. Tolerance for differences
3. Historic low level of savings
4. Self-reliance
5. A president not a king
6. Informality: “Call me Bob.”
7. The cult of celebrities; biographies of the rich and famous.
8. Little fear of failure
9. Modest limits in immigration
10. Acceptance of criticism or disagreement with the boss or authority figures
55
11. Emphasis on achievement
12. Checks and balances In the US Constitution
13. Identification with work or job
14. Idea of a second chance, of starting over.
15. Minimal supervision from bosses
16. Egalitarianism
17. Virtue of change, of newness
18. Rags to riches syndrome: the self-made man or women
19. Waste: the disposable society; little conservation of resources.’
20. Frequent job and career changes
21. Big cars, big houses, sprawling malls
22. Desire to be own boss, self-employed
23. Optimism
24. Mobile society: frequency with which people move.

TACHMENT

56
 KOREAN CULTURE

SOUTH KOREA – LANGUAGE, CULTURE, CUSTOMS and ETIQUETTE

The Korean are one ethnic family speaking one language. They share certain
distinct physical characteristics which differentiate them from other Asian people
including the Chinese and the Japanese, and have a strong cultural identity as one
ethnic family. The Korean language is spoken by more than 65 million people
living on the Peninsula and its outlying island as well as 5.5 million Koreans
living in other parts of the world. The fact that all Koreans speak and write the
same language has been a crucial factor in their strong national identity. Modern
Korea has several different dialects including the standard one used in Seoul and
central areas, but they are similar enough that speakers/listeners do not have
trouble.

The teaching of Confucius describe the position of the individual in Korean

society. It is a system of behaviours and ethics that stress the obligation of people
towards one another based upon their relationship.

THE CONCEPT OF KIBUN

Kibun is a word with no literal English translations, the closet term are pride,
face, food, feelings, or state of mind. If you hurt someone’s Kibun you hurt their
pride, cause them to lose dignity, and lose face. Korean interpersonal relationship
operate on the principle of harmony. It is important to maintain a peaceful,
comfortable atmosphere at all times, even if it means telling a “while lie”. Kibun
enters into every facet of Korean life. It is important to know how to judge the
state of someone else’s Kibun at the same time. In business, a manager’s Kibun is
damaged if his subordinates do not show proper respect. A subordinate’s Kibun is
damaged if his manager criticize him in public. Nunchi is the ability to determine
another person’s Kibun by using the eye. Since this is a culture where social
harmony is crucial, being able to judge another person’s state of mind is critical to
maintain the person’s Kibun. Nunchi is accomplished by watching body language
and listening to the one voice as well as what is said.
57
EDUCATION in SOUTH KOREA

Education in South Korea is viewed as being crucial for success and competition
is consequently very heated and fierce. A centralized administration overseas the
process for the education of children from kindergarten to the third and final year
of high school. Mathematics, sciences, Korean social studies, and English are
generally considered to be the most important subject. Normally physical
education is not considered important as it is not regarded to be education and
therefore many schools lack high quality gymnasiums and varsity athletics. South
Korean was the first country in the world to provide high speed internet access to
very primary, junior, and high school. The school years is divided into two
semesters. The first begins in the beginning of March and ends in mid-July, the
second begins in late August and ends in mid-February. They have summer
vacation from mid-July to late August and winter vacation from late December to
early February. After winter break, students return to school for a week, and then
take a short vacation from mid-February to early March.

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 TURKEY

The culture of Turkey combines a heavily diverse and heterogeneous set of

elements that have been derived from the Byzantine, ottoman, European, middle eastern
and central Asian traditions. Turkey’s former status as a multiethnic empire which, de
facto until the loss of Libya of the kingdom of Italy in 1912 (and de jure until the
official loss of Egypt and Sudan to the British empire in 1914, as a consequence of the
Ottoman government’s decision to join the first world war on the side of the central
powers) spanned three continents : Europe, Asia and Africa.

The present day Republic of Turkey, which succeeded the Ottoman state in
1923, is still a transcontinental country that spans Europe and Asia.

1. Etiquette & Customs in Turkey

Formal etiquette is still central of Turkish culture, governing most social

interactions and the use of space. Turkish culture has an exact verbal formula for
practically every occasion. Etiquette requires the pronouncement of the proper
formulas for these occasions.

2. Meeting & Greeting Etiquette

- When meeting shake hands firmly. When departing it is not always customary
to shake hands although it is practiced occasionally.
- Greet people with their the Islamic greeting of “Assalamualaikum” (peace be
upon you) or “Nasilsin” (how are you? Pronounced na-sul-su-nuz). Other
useful phrases are “Gunaydin” (good morning, pronounced goon-ay-dun), “Iyi
gunler” (good day, pronounced ee-yee-gun-ler) or “Memnun oldum” (pleased
to meet you).

3. Naming Conventions

When addressing Turk the most common method is to call a man by his first
name followed by “bey” (pronounced bay). So, Ertan Gonca, would be Ertan Bey.

59
Similarly a woman’s first name would be followed by “hanim” (pronounced ha-
num).

60
 EGYPT

In Egypt will find plenty of girls wearing a scarf, it is common these days among
many families. Nowadays in Egypt, many women wear a head scarf, demonstrating
either modesty or Muslim piety. One reason many young professional women favour
this is that it ends to discourage male advances, physical or verbal.

1. Family Values
- The family is the most significant unit of Egyptian society
- Kinship plays an important role in all social relations
- The individual is always subordinate to the family, tribe or group
- Nepotian is viewed positively, since it is patronage of one’s family
- The family consists of both the nuclear and the extended family
2. Social Class
- Social class is very apparent in Egypt since it determines your access to power
and position
- The social class an Egyptian is born into dictates their everyday life and the
opportunities they will have
- There are three social classes : upper, middle, and lower
- Status is defined more by family background than by absolute wealth
- There is little social mobility
3. Table Manner
- Wait for the host or hostess to tell you where to sit
- Eat with the right hand only
- It is considered a sincere compliment to take second helpings
- Always show appreciation for the meal
- Salting your food is considered an insult
- Leave a small amount of food on your plate when you have finished eating.
Otherwise they will keep filling it up for you.

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Summary of Cross Cultural Differences
Sara believes that it is healthy to let emotions our rather that to keep them in. she, like
many Americans, thinks that people can feel better after they have talked about their
feelings. Sara doesn’t realize that her questions are making Maya uncomfortable. Maya
probably thinks that it is strange for someone who is not a close friend to ask these
kinds of questions. Maya may not even talk about her feelings with a close friend.
Unfortunately, Sara does not understand these cultural differences and may feel that
Maya is rejecting her efforts to make her feel better. In some cultures, people try to hide
feelings of sadness or anger because they don’t want to burden another person with their
problems. In some cultures, controlling one’s emotions is the sign of a strong person.
In the following interaction, Maya still doesn’t tell Sara how she is felling, but she
explains why she doesn’t. As a result, both Sara and Maya are more comfortable this
time.
Sara : “You seem upset about something. Is everything okay?”
Maya : “Everything’s fine”
Sara : “Are you sure? You look upset”
Maya : “Well, something is bothering me, but I’m not used to talking about my
feelings”
Sara : “You can always talk to me if you want. You might feel better if you do”
Maya : “Thanks, but in my culture we don’t usually talk about our feeling with
others. That’s why it would be difficult for me to do”
Sara : “That’s hard for me to understand, but I’m glad you explained it to me. I
hope you feel better soon”
Maya : “Thanks. I’m sure I will”
Summary of Cross Cultural Interaction
Maya is able to prevent an uncomfortable interaction because she explains on important
cultural difference between herself and Sara. Maya still doesn’t answer Sara’s question,
but this time Sara understands the reason. Even though it is difficult for Sara to
understand the difference, she can accept it. In this interaction, she does not feel that
Maya is rejecting her personally on her efforts to make Maya feel better.

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Section 1
CROSS CULTURAL DIFFERENCES
People experience similar emotions all over the world, but sometimes express them
differently. Children see their parents expressing such emotions such emotions as
sadness and anger and, when they grow up, they express them in more or less the same
way. In some parts of the world, people express these emotions very freely and you can
read their faces like a book. In other parts of the world, it is not always as easy to know
what another person is feeling. The culture puzzles and notes in this part of the chapter
will illustrate some of these differences.

U.S. CULTURE NOTE

Boys and girls are sometimes taught different things about expressing sadness. Some
American parents let their little girls cry, but feel uncomfortable when their sons cry.
These parents may say, “Don’t cry. Be a man!” this explains, in part, why men and
women don’t always express sadness ion the same way. This is an example of how
culture is learned, that is, how children learn to express emotions from those around
them.

CULTURE PUZZLE #1
Read the situation and choose the appropriate explanations. There may be more than
one possible answer.
Situation :
Kim is an immigrant living in the united States. She is talking to Judy, an American
neighbor. Judy asks Kim if she plans to go to the neighborhood picnic. Kim answers,
“No, I wont be going. “smiling, Kim tells Judy, “Maybe you don’t know this, but my
husband passed away last month”. Judy is surprised and saddened by the news and she
expresses her sympathy. Later she thinks about her conversation with Kim. She left that
there was something strange about the conversation.
Judy felt that there was something strange about her conversation with Kim because :
a. An American woman whose husband had died recently would be wearing black
clothing
b. Most America would not smile when telling sad news

63
c. An America would put a notice in the newspaper so that everyone would know
about it

Culture Puzzle #1
Judy felt that there was something strange about her conversation with Kim because :
a. No. if a family member dies, most Americans would wear black only on the day of
the funeral or memorial service, not for a full month after.
b. Yes, many Americans show sadness on their faces and do not smile to cover up
sadness.
c. No, many Americans do put notices in the paper when a family member dies, but
they wouldn’t expect everybody (including neighbors) to read these notices.

CROSS CULTURAL EXERCISE : NONVERBAL DIFFERENCES

Discuss the following questions and then do the observation activity that follows.
1. What do you think Kim’s smile meant?
2. In the U.S the usual meaning of the smile is happiness or friendliness. What else
can smile mean?

U.S CULTURE NOTE

The U.S smile is famous. Many people from around the world refer to former US
president Jimmy Carter’s smile. American are famous saying “cheese” when they are
being photographed. Americans notice right away when people don’t smile in the same
situations as those in which they smile.
American businessmen think that Japanese businessmen look too serious in photos
because they usually don’t smile. Many Americans think that Russians don’t smile
enough or smile at the “wrong” time of course there is no “right” or “wrong” time to
smile. People’s cultural backgrounds often influence when and how often they smile.

Section 2
USING NONVERBAL AND VERBAL COMMUNICATION
What can you say if you think that you are communicating nonverbally, but another
person does not understand what you are trying to express? You might think that this

64
person is rude or insensitive, but this may not be the case. If this happens, ask yourself
the following questions :
1. Is my nonverbal communication style familiar to this person?
2. Am I expecting this person to understand a way of communicating that he or she
does not use with someone from the same culture?

U.S CULTURE NOTE

American culture is a very verbal culture. Misunderstandings can occur when someone
from a different culture tries to communicate nonverbally (without words), and the
American doesn’t notice or understand the nonverbal communication. This can also
happen between two Americans.

Culture Puzzle #3
Read the situation and choose the appropriate answer or answers. There may be more
than one possible answer.
Situation : A Chinese man, a factory worker, is talking to a friend about his
American boss.
“My boss told me that he wanted me to work overtime this weekend. I really don’t
want to because my brother is arriving from Taiwan on Saturday, and I haven’t seen
him I five years. I told my boss about my brother last week. When he told me he needed
to work overtime, I said, “Yes”, but I was not very happy. I am sure he could see how I
felt. He should have remembered that my brother was coming”.
If the American boss had heard what his employee said, he would say something like :
a. “Oh, your brother’s coming this weekend. I’m sorry that I forgot. Okay. I’m sure
that I can find someone else to work overtime this weekend”.
b. “Why didn’t you tell me that you didn’t want to work this weekend? You said
“Yes” when I asked you to work so I thought it was okay. I’m not a mind reader.
c. “I can’t treat you differently from everyone else. If you work overtime, even when
it is difficult for your, your review will be better”.

65
Culture Puzzle #3
What do you think the American boss would say if he had heard what his employee
said?
a. No. the employee only mentioned that his brother was coming (before he has
asked about overtime) and didn’t say that he didn’t want to work overtime. Even if
the boss had remembered about the brother, he may have thought that this
employee would still want the extra money by working overtime.
b. Yes. This is very possible. The employee’s nonverbal communication was not
enough for him to know that the employee really didn’t want to work. When most
Americans hear the answers, “Yes” they think that “Yes” means “Yes”.
c. This is possible, although it depends on the personality of the boss. Some bosses
can act this way; other do not.

The situation above shows what can happen when one person thinks she is
communicating clearly without words, but the other person does not understand the
nonverbal communicating. In this case, the Chinese man was upset and expected his
boss to know that he was. This situation shows how important it is to verbalize (say in
words) what you are thinking.

Phrases for Expressing Feelings

Repeat these after your teacher says them :
“Let me explain how I’m feeling”
“Let me explain how I feel”
“Let me tell you my reaction to that”
“It’s not easy for me to say this, but I’m a bit upset about what happened”
“I’m uncomfortable about what happened because…”
“In my culture, we don’t usually talk about this, but I’d like to know how I feel”

U.S CULTURE NOTE

There are Americans who prefer not to express their emotions verbally or they may try
to hide their emotions completely. In a culture made up of so many different types
people, it is not always easy or possible to describe how people react emotionally.

66
In the area of expressing emotions, there can be differences between men and women
and among Americans of different cultural backgrounds.
Yet, there is still a general belief that it is good to “talk things out” or “get things off
you for your chest” when there is a problem.

Summary of Cross Cultural Interaction A : Cultural Differences

Pali’s question “How much money do you make?” is considered to be a very personal
question in the U.S. The question makes Joe uncomfortable, but Joe doesn’t stop to
think that maybe, in Pali’s culture, it is acceptable to ask this question. Instead, he wants
to end it when he says, “Well listen, I have to get back to work”. Pali doesn’t understand
why the conversation stops suddenly. For him, the question is normal or usual question.
He would be surprised to know that, in the U.S even close friends do not tell each other
how much money they make.

CROSS CULTURAL INTERACTION B

Read the following cross-cultural interaction which shows more successful
communication between Pali and Joe.
Joe : “Hi Pali. How’s it going?”
Pali : “OK. How are things with you?”
Joe : “Not too bad. Pretty good. Did I tell you that I got a new job?”
Pali : “No, you didn’t. That good news!”
Joe : “Well, you knew that I was laid off last month. I heard about a job opening
in another company. I applied and had an interview. Three days later
someone called me to tell me that I got the job”
Pali : “I’m glad to hear that”
Joe : “Yeah. The other job was really starting to get me down. There was never
enough work. also I can get a good raise in six months if I do well”
Pali : “Sounds good. How long does it take you to get to your new job?” (Joe and
Pali continue talking)

67
Summary of Cross-Cultural Interaction B
In this interaction, Pali asks about job, but doesn’t ask about the pay. Joe answers the
question and offer information about the pay, but he isn’t specific. He says, “The salary
is a bit higher than on my last job and the benefits are very good”. Joe’s answer is
indirect and typical of American responses about money. Joe does not tell exact amount
of money he typical of American responses about money. Joe does not tell exact amount
of money he makes. Notice how Joe does not continue talking about the salary, but
changes the subject : “The other job was really starting to get me down”. This time, the
interaction is comfortable for both Joe and Pali because Pali is aware of cultural
differences in asking personal questions.

Section 1
AVOIDING CERTAIN TOPICS
The following is a list of topics and questions that people usually avoid when they do
not know each other well or if they are not very close friends :
1. Money. Although some people will tell you how much money they paid for
something, many do not like to be asked such question as :
“How much did your house cost?”
“What did you pay for your car?”
“How much did that dress cost?”
“How much money do you make?”

CROSS-CULTURAL NOTE
In some cultures, there are certain times when you can talk about money and other times
when you can’t. Sometimes families have rules about this. One man from France said
that he had always been told that people shouldn’t talk about money while eating.

CROSS-CULTURAL NOTE
“One time I met an older American women at a local city college. She seemed to be
over fifty and was taking a class with her husband. She was sitting outside getting some
sun. I walked up to her and said “Hello” ad we began talking. I told her something about
myself and she did the same. She was warm and friendly. When I asked her, “How old

68
are you?” she told me that I should not do that. Most older American women don’t like
that question, but she was so nice. She said, “Because you come from another country,
it’s OK that you asked. I don’t mind”. Finally, she told me her age : “Fifty-four years
old”. Older women in my country like people to ask bout their age. They want to let
people know that they have lived a long life. The culture is very different”.
--Chinese immigrant in the U.S

2. Age. Some people will answer questions about age, but many people would fell
uncomfortable answering them. It is, however, a common question to ask of a
child.

3. Religion. This is considered a personal question. Most people do not ask, “What is
your religion?” When they first meet someone. The subject is usually is not
discussed until people know each other better.

4. physical Appearance. People often compliment each other’s physical appearance,

for example, “Your hair looks nice” or like your blouse. “however, they usually do
not ask questions about his topic. For example, many Americans would not like to
be asked :
“How much do you weigh?”
“Have you gained weight lately?” (have you lost weight?” is usually acceptable,
especially if you know that the person wants to lose weight)
“Is that your natural hair color?”

CROSS-CULTURE NOTE
MANY PEOPLE FROM Vietnam have said that, “How much do you weigh?” is a
common and acceptable question in the Vietnamese culture. Many Vietnamese students
were surprised when their American teacher told them, “I would never tell my weigh to
anybody, not even my husband”.

69
5. Certain information about marriage. There are some questions that are common
and accepted in other cultures about marriage that are not considered polite in the
U.S. They include :
“When are you going to get married?”
“Why aren’t you married?’
“When are you going to have children?” (although sometimes it is acceptable to
ask “are you planning to have children?”)
Also, people do not like to be told :
“You should get married soon”
“You should have children / another child”

6. Politics. When people first meet each other, they sometimes avoid the subject of
politics. If they don’t know each her well, they probably won’t ask, for example,
“Who are you going to vote for?” This, however, can differ from person to person.
Some people like to talk about politics and get into “heated discussions”
(arguments or discussion in which people strongly disagree). Other people like to
avoid argument and won’t talk about politics. Still others are not at all interested in
politics.

CROSS-CULTURE NOTE
In some cultures, people really enjoy having discussions. For example, a man from
Spain said that a conversation is always interesting if people disagree about something
and then discuss their reasons. A man from Israel said that heated discussions are very
common in his country. He said, “If I go to a party and nobody is arguing about politics,
there’s something wrong with the party”.

Phrases and expressions for asking personal questions

Repeat these after your teacher says them.
When you are not sure if a question is personal, you could say :
“I have a question to ask you, but I’m not sure if it’s a personal one for you”
“I’d like to ask you a question, but I’m not sure if it’s considered personal iin your
culture”

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If you’ve already asked the question, you could say :
“If I’ve asked you a personal question, I’m sorry. In my culture, people ask this
question”
If you know someone well, you might be able to ask personal questions. You can say :
“Would you mind if I asked you a personal question?”
“I have a question, but please don’t answer it if you don’t want to”

CULTURE PUZZLE
Read the situation and choose the appropriate answer.
What would you do if someone asked you a question that you felt too personal?
a. You could say directly, “I don’t want to answer that question”
b. You could answer the question in a general way and then change the subject
c. You could explain that in your culture, people usually don’t ask that question and
you feel uncomfortable answering it
Do you have any other suggestions?
a. No, this is a rude answer and would encourage the other speaker to continue talking.
There are other polite ways that you do not want to answer the question.
b. Possibly, but the person might ask you the question again.
c. Yes, if the question is clearly one that is personal in one culture, but not in another,
this is valuable information.

Phrases and expressing for avoiding answers

Repeat these after your teacher says them.
If someone asks you a question that you don’t want to answer, there are polite ways of
saying so :
“I’m sorry, I prefer not to answer that question”
“I’m sorry. That’s hard for me to answer”
“Sorry. I’d feel uncomfortable answering that question”
“If you don’t mind, I’d rather not answer that”
If you want to change the topic of conversation, you can say :
“By the way, did I tell you hear about….?”
“By the way, did I tell you….?”

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“Speaking of….(new topic), I want to tell you about….”
“On another subject…”

Section 2
DISCUSSING COMMON TOPICS
In every culture, there are certain topics that people commonly talk about. These topics
may not be the same across cultures or if they are, they may be discussed differently. In
English, people have conversation or small talk about a variety of subjects. When
people make some talk, they talk about things like weather, sports, and so on. The topics
may be unimportant, but small talk itself is important for following reasons :
 Small talk helps people decide if they want to get to know each other better.
 Some people think that if a person doesn’t make small talk, then he or she is not
friendly. Friendliness is something important for Americans.
 Small talk helps people feel comfortable with each other, especially at the beginning
at the conversation
 Small talk can lead to conversations about more interesting topics.

A topic can begin as small talk and then turn into a more serious topic or conversation.
Some common topics or small talk and conversation are :
1. Job, work. First question at first meeting for example :
 “What do you do?”
 “What is your job?”
 “What line of work are you in?”
 “Where do you work?”
 “Do you like your job?”

2. School. Students are always asked these questions :

 “What are you studying?”
 “What classes are you taking?”
 “What is your major?”
 “How do you like your classes / teachers?”
 “What do you plan to do after finishing school?”
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3. Weekend and vacation activities. On Fridays, people at work and at school often
ask each other about plans for the weekend (Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday)
 “What are you going to do this weekends?”
 “Do you have any interesting plans for the weekend?”
On Mondays :
 “How was your weekend?”
 “did you do anything exciting over the weekend?”

4. Family. People often ask married couples, “Do you have children?” (not “When are
you going to have children?”). If they answer is “Yes” then there are many question
that can be asked :
 “How many children do you have?”
 “What are their names?”
 “How old are they?”
 “Are they in school?”
People also ask about each other’s spouses :
 “What does your husband / wife do?”
 “Where does your husband / wife work?”

5. Weather. The weather is a common topic of conversation, especially when there

isn’t much else to talk about. Strangers often talk about the weather for brief periods
of time, for example :
(as two people are leaving a store)
A : “Nice weather we’re having”
B : “Sure is. I hope it stays this way”

A : “Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

B : “Oh yes, its gorgeous”

A : “What awful weather we’re having”

B : “I know. When is it going to end?”
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6. Money matters. Men seem to talk more about money (except their own salaries)
than investment, stock, etc.
CROSS-CULTURAL NOTE
An America observed differences between Saudi Arabians and Americans in the
way conversation begins. She said that every time her Saudi friends called hr on
phone, they always asked, “How’s your husband?”, “How are your parents?”. She
said that she sometimes felt that it took long to get to the point of the conversation.

7. Possession, things. Again, men seem to talk more than women like to talk more
than women about things they own or would like to own : computers, stereo
equipment, television, cars, cameras, etc.

8. Themselves. Many men and some women like to talk about sports such as baseball
(during spring and summer), football (during fall and winter), and basketball (all
year round)

9. Sport. People enjoy hearing other people talk about themselves, as long as one does
not do all the talking. You probably have had many experiences that Americans
have not had. If you feel comfortable talking about yourself, then the person you are
talking to will probably also talk about himself or herself. Also, many Americans
are interested in hearing about your experiences in the new culture.

Skill Practice : Making Small Talk

With another student, role-play one or more of the following situations. Take turns
starting the conversation. Try to keep the conversation going for about three minutes.
1. You are at work taking a break. You have only three minutes left. You see a co-
worker who is standing by the coffee machine
2. It is the first day of your English class. You and one other student have arrived
early. You are standing in front of the classroom waiting for the teacher and the
other student to come

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3. You are at work and one of your co-workers ready to leave. It is 2.30 pm
(employees usually leave at 5 pm) on a Friday afternoon
4. Your choice of situation (think of situation you may have been in before)

Skill Practice : Keeping The Conversation Moving

Start a conversation with your teacher or another student. Ask open-ended questions,
answer question with more than “Yes/No” or short answers, and respond to information.
Choose topics from the following list or think of your own. Try to keep the conversation
going for at least five minutes.
 Tell something about your culture
 Talk about family, job, work, or school
 Give an opinion on a topic
 Your choice of topics

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PRE-TEST

A. Answer the following questions

1. How can you get appreciation from other people?

2. What are the two main functions of women?
3. Education is one of the main principles in our life. Why?
4. How to create a Cross Culture Competence?
5. Environment and other culture influences may effect the human concept. Give two
examples.
6. What is the American value principle based on?
7. What has to taught to children in terms of appreciating others?
8. How to build up the American encouragement?
9. What is meant by Visible Aspect in culture?
10. Transferring culture from generation to generation is given. What is it called?
11. In making friendship term, what is a friend line?
12. What should one have to avoid bad things in interacting with others? What should
they do?
13. The government is responsible to protect women liberation. Where is it stated?
14. To make friendship, what are the main things to be created as a concept?
15. What are the rules of endogamous ad exogamous in America culture?

B. Answer these question

1. One of the main principles in America is working hard and having a good balance
for fun. What do you call this is in the term CCU?
2. Honestly is the best policy. What do you call it in CCU term?
3. We are judged by other people because of money. What do you call this in the term
of CCU?
4. Table manner, telephone manner, etc is parts of culture acts. Explain briefly!
5. Today is a Labor’s Day. What is a labor?
6. What countries in the world that provide their people with high speed internet
access?
7. Meeting, dining, and getting dresses in a country such as Korea is specific. What
do you call this in the term of CCU?
8. In Korean culture, a smile has a special meaning. It is the code of silent apology.
What do you call it in the term of CCU?

C. Below are the examples or definition of culture terms. Write the terms on
blanks provided

1. He understands but it is not directly expressed : ………………………….

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2. Total immersion in a new culture : ……………………………………….
3. Home traditional work : …………………………………………………..
4. Invisible communication by moving lips : ……………………………….
5. Gradual adaption to target culture : ……………………………………….
6. Bias opinion based on personal emotions : ……………………………….
7. Household supports : ……………………………………………………...
8. Government responsibility to protect women’s work : …………………...
9. Conventional belief : ……………………………………………………...
10. Everybody born in the world has to get the work : ……………………….

TEST

Answer the following questions

1. What is meant by :

a. Cross cultural knowledge

b. Cross cultural sensitivity
c. Cross cultural competence

2. What is cultural shock? Explain the stages of cultural adjustment.

3. Mention at least five invisible features of culture. Give example for each.
4. What is the importance of understanding culture in studying of language?
5. What problems might someone face when returning home after a long absence?
6. Compare family tradition between America and Indonesia?
7. Is it better to marry someone from the same cultural background?
8. How to avoid misunderstandings based on cultural differences?
9. Respecting deadlines is important in academic and professional circles. Explain.
10. What is meant by honeymoon period?

Answer these questions

1. What is culture according to :

a. John Don
b. Edward Sapir
2. What is meant by cultural belief of a society?

77
3. Why do you think a foreign student should be familiar with culture of the people
whose language he is learning?
4. When does cross cultural misunderstanding arise?
5. When does culture shock happen?
6. Do people change because of their experience in foreign countries? If so, how?
7. What is the best way to prepare for life in mother country?
8. When do people begin to date? Are the rules for dating the same for men and
women?
9. What roles do parents play in dating?
10. Can a couple see each other often or even live together before marriage?

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POST 1

1. How can you appreciate people from another?

POST 2

1. How to create cross culture competence?

2. How does one to avoid bad things in order to do, what should do?
3. Making friendship is a part of social relationship, what are friends line?
4. How to build up American encouragement?
5. To make friendship what the main things do they concept?
6. What should be educated for children to appreciated others?
7. Transferring culture from generation to generation is given. What is it called?
8. There's visible and invisible aspect in culture, what does it mean?
9. Based on decision maker in country, mention two of woman function?
10. Environment or other cultural influence may influence the human concept, give
two example?
11. The government is responsible to protect woman liberation. It is stated in .....
12. Who is Kalvero Oberg?
13. What do parents teach the principle of human freedom?
14. The principle American value is based on.,...
15. Birthstones is an example of heritage of....
16. The rule of endogamous and exogamous is the form of American....
17. Education is the main principle of life to....

POST 3

1. For Korean culture smile is the code of silent apologize in social relationship, what
do you call in the term of CCU?
2. A father has an important part of Korean life what do you call in the term of CCU?

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3. Meeting, dinning, business, dress of Korean is specific, what do you call in the
term CCU?
4. What countries in the world has long time ago provide high speed internet access?
5. We are judge by other people because of money what do call in the term of CCU?
6. Honestly is the best policy, what do you call in the term of CCU?
7. Table manners, telephone manner, etc, is part culture acts?
8. Today is a labor is day, this is the energy of the people who get wage from?
9. American principle is working hard that must balance with joy full time, what do
you call in the term of CCU?
10. When Obama ate dinner at burgers king store while the officers were there?

POST 4

A. (The points of differences or similarities)

Indonesia American
1. Extended family
2. Mostly are selected friendship
3. Promptness to a must
4. How sexual is society problem
5. Welfare is society problem
6. Competitive is personal spirit
7. Parents care to children maternity (most)
8. We call a clan or an ethnic group
9. Theoretical leadership
10 Man appreciation

B. Complete the statement below

1. Human culture which can be implicitly or explicitly are…………,………,

2. Behavior transmits culture. This is……..,…….,……,ideas.
3. Culture must be transmitted to new generation this is……..,……,ideas
4. ……….and………is the basic reason for us to learn CCU.

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5. ……….and………is needed for better future.
6. American got joyful time actually just for………of hard working.
7. Privacy, time discipline and honest is part of…………..
8. When one soups Wayang is better then Tantung Katung, he is called……………
9. When one soups Batakness is rough, he is called……….because it is notably
10. When one says. “It’s too long for working here” while his weak statement aboard,
he called that he got………

C. Below is the example or definition of culture terms. What is that.

1. He understands but not directly expressed = ..............

2. Total immersion in a new culture = ..............
3. Home traditional work = ..............
4. Invisible communication by moving lips = ..............
5. Gradual adaptation to target culture = ..............
6. Bias opinion base on personal emotion = ..............
7. Household support = ..............
8. Government responsibility to protect women work = ..............
9. Conventional belief = ..............
10. Everybody born in the world has to get the work = ..............

TEST

1. What is meant by : a. Cross cultural knowledge

b. Cross cultural sensitivity
c. Cross cultural competence
2. What is cultural shock? Explain the stages of cultural adjustment?
3. Mention at least five invisible features of culture? Give example of each?
4. What is the importance of understanding culture in studying of language?
5. What problems might someone face when returning home after a long absence?

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6. Compare family tradition in America and Indonesia?
7. s it better to marry someone of the same cultural background?
8. How to avoid misunderstandings based on cultural differences?
9. Respecting deadlines is important in academic and professional circles. Explain!
10. What is meant by honeymoon period?

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 BIBLIOGRAPHY

A.Knopf,Alferd,and Ralph Linton,The Tree of Culture,New York.

Daly,Gladys,Language and life in the USA,Hraper and Row Publisher,New York,1960

Foreign Student Guide to American Academic Life,English Teaching

Division,Washington DC,1980

Geertz,Clifford,The interpretation of cultures: The Impact of The Concept of Culture

on The Concept of Man,New York:Basic Books,1973.

Goodenough,Ward H,Culture Language and society:The View of Culture as Guides

for Behaviour,California:Benyamin/Cummings,1981

Harvey,Carol and M jones Allard,Understanding Cultural:Understanding Cultural

Diversity,Miquela Rivera,1987

Levinia Diena R and Myra B Adilman,Beyond language,Resice Hall:New

jersey,1982

Loss,Tayron,Culture Shock:Cross Cultural Stress 3,1983

Storey, john , An Introductory Guide to Cultural Theory and Popular:The Culture

Civilization Tradition,Harvester,1995.

Tomasow,Pauline Dra,Cross Cultural Understanding,Departemen Pendidikan dan

Kebudayaan,Universitas Terbuka,1986.

Z, D Hirson,jr,Cultural Literacy :What Every American Needs to know,1987.

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